The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Drew Dunn - Episode 73

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Drew Dunn - Episode 73 Checkout My Bookie: https://mybookie.website/joinwithADAM100 Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram....com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow   for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #drewdunn

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Adam Friedland show special guest drew done. Hey, what's up, man? Thanks for coming brother Thanks for having me Boston Drew. Oh, yeah Boston Drew. Yeah, I was just in Ireland the Boston of Europe. Yes. Yeah people came from yeah, you know, I'm fucking pissed at England now Yeah, they told me about the there was no famine There was no potato family. It was a it was a genocide. They told me about the there was no famine. There was no potato fam. It was a it was a genocide. Oh, they just said it was potatoes. No, they say they all the other food that was grown in Ireland, they just took and sent to England. And they were like, and then the potatoes went bad. And so then they were like, you
Starting point is 00:00:40 can't have any of the other food that you make Wow I fucking hate England now Yeah I mean that's kind of what their business model was across the world was Getting there manipulate try and take over and eventually fail last go back to yeah I'm a last all the Irish curry spices right right a poem about your fucking a beautiful Ottoman boy. Yeah, yeah I was so lovely in there right it no, but those guys weren't writing poems. It was like the posh like raw Yeah, yeah, it's classy to fuck a boy there. Yeah the bottom the bottom teeth are protruding further than the top teeth Oh, yeah, let's let's have sex with a boy tonight. Oh, yeah, yeah like Lower a flag and then kiss your but that's that's like a little boy lover goodbye
Starting point is 00:01:23 Well the British accent in the Boston action are basically the same thing yeah it is true into my ear it's yeah it's it's pocket cat which punk you come yeah yeah phonetically the exact when I saw boondock Saints I was like what is this London yeah everyone thinks yeah everyone thinks everyone's always thinking yeah thanks is a bunch of British guys there's also that old New York accent the one that FDR had. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah that it's all just getting lazy at the end of the word really. Yeah, just let it fly. Well, he had polio Yeah, well, you know lazy polio. What's the difference? Yeah mouth polio the French don't even say the end of the word
Starting point is 00:01:57 Oh, yes, they are. They're so lazy Yeah, why they think they're better than you too. You do not deserve to hear how we say it. Yeah, there's a T at the end of the word and we don't say it. Yeah. Because we're so gay. You don't get it? Please try to order at my restaurant. And you know they all speak English. Yeah, and they just they just want to be pieces of shit. I'm mad at England right now for what they did to our people, the Irish. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to wake up I decided I'm gonna be Dolas all Irish. No, okay. Welcome. It's a really sad place all the young people have left In England in in Ireland. Oh in Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. Where are they going?
Starting point is 00:02:37 Like to the UK. Yeah, they're going they would they all want to leave and did you know this? It's the second richest country in the world by GDP per capita Ireland Ireland is because they it's a it's a tax haven basically okay So all of like you know like Microsoft and Apple and everything have their European headquarters in Ireland Oh interesting so they get like because they have like soup stupid low taxes, right? So on paper they're like richer than Sweden But but it doesn't it doesn't The people's lives still they still believe yeah, it doesn't equate to people feeling good every day. Yeah, I loved it there They're like you all you they're like you've gotten great weather here. They're like it just it's been raining for a year
Starting point is 00:03:26 gotten great weather here they're like it just it's been raining for a year first sunshine we've had in a year you wonder why the young people are leaving yeah well there's just no jobs and no housing they said oh interesting yeah yeah that seems to be a problem across the board in a lot of places though with the housing it seems like nobody's able to just buy land you seen that Instagram thing where there's like Asian women in the jungle that'll build a house out of clay? Yeah. It's water powered?
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yeah. I watch all of them. Well, it's this fantasy world people live in now where they're like, we could have this. And it's like, first of all, that's probably fake. They're highly produced by the CCP. Yeah. No, no, they found out that the government makes those.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Yeah. Oh, they just go in and do a construction and then make it look like rural Chinese life is great. To make it look like a crash Bandicoot house. They found out that the government makes those To make it look like Have like yeah make it made out of and then everything's water powered Yeah, a stream that goes through and it's like turns the lights and it's always kind of a hot girl to do it Yeah, that's the image you want to paint yourself. There's you're not out there by yourself There's one named Lee Zki that I kind of had a crush on a little bit She was a DJ in the city and then she went back to her village to take care of her grandma Wow Yeah
Starting point is 00:04:31 And what could you live that like that if could you live in like a water-powered? House in the forest for a while or do you feel like you'd lose your fucking China in China or anywhere? I mean could you do it out in the upstate New York and prospect Park? There's probably bugs and so I don't like Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be the biggest problem. Yeah other than having a place to shit and piss and drink and Friends, they don't have any place to shit. That is true. Yeah. Yeah, you got a shit on the right side of your house You don't fuck up the powering of your lights Did see you never tell you that story about Sean in the airport and in China They have their toilets are like they have the hole on the ground
Starting point is 00:05:09 Yeah, where you squat which is apparently better for shitting, but he didn't know how to use it. So we did it standing up Really got poo on his legs and then and then the the flight was boarding it is And then the the flight was boarding it is Okay Shout out to our friend who I just Shamed and public how's Irvine Nick? I heard it was a smash hit Who's fun? Yeah the spectrum center mm-hmm? They spectrum center they have like a it's it's a clap like a it's it's a clap like a perfect
Starting point is 00:05:47 Example of a mid-tier mall, so it's not like the Like luxury brand. It's not like Gucci and stuff. They have like zoomies Pac-son yeah, yeah, I'm in there H&M. Yeah. Yeah all the best stores. Yeah, it's a good stuff I went to lids in that mall and And bought a fitted and then lost it on the plane. I was very upset, but I got taffs embroidered on a on a Yankee fitted Yeah, and I didn't know I didn't know about that plane you're lucky you lost that hat Want to get the word out about the show?
Starting point is 00:06:23 You lost that hat. I want to get the word out about the show Can you cuz you know people would have seen that and not said anything you just taking pictures and be like you gotta be fucking Yeah, I think people would have been like that. Where can I get one? Yeah, right then we could have done a deal with new air. You can get them at lids Yeah, go to lids and just the name of your In the same way you read the name of your Mexican baby that died, you can get the name of a TV show. And pretend like there's any kind of relationship between the New York Yankees and the Adam Frieden show. You can get a name of a talk show that's done five brilliant episodes on YouTube.com. Right. Who wouldn't want that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Well, how do you feel right now with me wearing this? I don't feel bad about it. If it was like probably 2004, we'd have a conversation about it. I'm sure you'd hate me just as much for wearing this. I don't feel bad about it. Really? If it was like probably 2004, we'd have a conversation about it. I'm sure you'd hate me just as much for wearing this. I'm not a Yankee fan at all. I do it for style. Yeah, I feel like the
Starting point is 00:07:12 It's more of like a Spike Lee thing. Yeah, more of a like honoring. It's a hove. It's a Jay-Z. Am I imagining? Did it happen for real that he got like territorial about the red Yankees hat? With Fred Durst?
Starting point is 00:07:24 Yeah. Because he's like territorial about the red Yankees had with Fred Durst. Yeah Cuz he's like I invented that or like Like you can't take that that's my look yeah You stole it from yeah, he lives in Fort Greene. I see him walking around. Well, that's like his neighborhood Yeah, he's like five one, you know also who also lives in Fort Greene is The only I've seen why I saw Wyatt Sennick there, but I see him walking around. He's not really a celebrity but yeah Fisher Stevens Who is on that show Succession? He's a guy with the tiny neck. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I saw him there Oh, he's like the PR guy. He's the lawyer or one of them
Starting point is 00:08:05 Yeah, he has like a he has like a strange neck. It's bizarre bizarre neck. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's weird to get an acting role when you're like, it's so jarring It's it's trying to look at that guy what didn't use to be much everyone on succession is ridiculous He is pretty much to look at them is I can't I can't look at anyone Yeah, he's something he's had a long career that guy's been in a bunch of shit really yeah, he was in hackers Okay, he here's my here's the credits of his I know he was in hackers, and I think he directed John Leguizamo's documentary John Leguizamo's like the Latino clown documentary yeah,, which is great. Smash it. John was almost great John like was I'm I did like an hour at like the Orpheum or something. Oh really?
Starting point is 00:08:51 He's like yeah get back in the stand-up. I want to do stand-up again, and it's great Yeah Wait, so it's like a comedy special Sort of but it's a documentary about him doing it He's the man yeah the pest was one of my favorite movies as a kid I don't think I ever saw the you you're not a film head no I'm not a film not a film head pretty cool pretty cool movie if you're the most annoying ten-year-old in the world okay which I
Starting point is 00:09:17 was okay cool yeah he yeah there's a scene where he's in the shower and farting at say it's It's done. I think so. Yeah, yeah Criterion collection right John Rick. He's in John Wick. He's in John Wick Fisher. No John Leguizamo Who do who's the way he plays the guy that owns the chop shop? In the very beginning Okay, like do you know whose fucking car this is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You bunch my son. Listen, I work with your father, all right? That guy. Okay. Yeah. I work with you.
Starting point is 00:09:52 I work with your father, all right? Have you ever, did you ever go to the late Court Street Cinema in Brooklyn? No. It's closed now. It's closed now? It's closed now, unfortunately. Oh, that's a shame. But it was like always chaos at that theater. No, it's not true. It was very quiet. It was nice I saw Top Gun Maverick there
Starting point is 00:10:10 I saw I saw John wick 3 there and there was a lady in front of me with like eight Tupperwares and The he heals Bobon from the NBA. That's the first kill. Yeah, she goes she goes. Okay, Neo And then Laurence Fishburne shows up and she goes she goes okay Neo and then and then Lawrence Fishburn shows up and she goes oh and they got Murphy's just with a full Thanksgiving dinner and yeah she had like 12 stuff that lady was awesome that's hilarious they got Murphy's yeah that's great no I never went up there I only moved to New York in 2021 so I kind of missed a lot of that post COVID. What's up? You're in Queens. There's been no reason to go to Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:10:49 You go to court. Exactly. Twenty twenty one. I know. Moving into a fun shitty theater over by there. They had like that United Artists in Astoria. No, by Court Street, by that neighborhood on the other side of Atlantic. Where was that? In Cobble Hill? In Cobble Hill, yeah. I don't remember that one at all. Next to Barnes and Noble. No, that was Court Street. No, Court Street is on Court Street and it's like off of Atlantic. South of Atlantic. But wasn't it across from Barnes and Noble's? This is good podcast. This is great. Yeah, it was it was further down. It was further down court It was a small theater. Oh
Starting point is 00:11:28 I don't remember that one at all. I think what street was all I'm thinking of Cabo Hill cinemas that one I've been to yeah, that's a small one. It's all okay. So courts. It's a court Street UA. That was the UA Okay. Yeah But they closed it because of that theater sucked. It was a it was a disaster Yeah, theater. Yeah people got bit. Well, you got bed bugs at the Union Square Regal. Yeah Yeah, yeah at the theater you got you went home with bed bugs. That's insane I Was listening that one's still open. That's the is the regal still in my get I get it
Starting point is 00:12:04 I think bed bugs when you get bed bugs you probably and this is like New York ten years ago You've had him 15 fucking times. They've destroyed your life and all your relationships. You're like fucking I'm gonna go see the mr. Rogers documentary I got nothing else. Yeah, go see Tom Hanks put on a show. No, that's the movie I didn't see that one. There was a mr. Rogers documentary that came out like oh really? Yeah, yeah, it made me cry. Oh wow. I saw it on a play. I cry every movie on a plane Yeah, it is weird when you're on a plane. You can really let yourself get into it. They say it's something about the cabin pressure And your tear ducts and that you're not gay if you do yeah, they say it's not Watch a movie on an airplane
Starting point is 00:12:44 I don't think I thought that's the only time I watch the patience to watch a movie on an airplane. I thought that's the only time I watch a plane. I watch a movie is when I'm on an airplane. I watch all the Marvels. I bring the Kindle and then half the time I forget to download something new. And then I end up like rereading some PDF that I've had on the cookbook I forgot to get a new book before I get on the plane I Was listening to local New York sports radio a couple months ago and people were talking about Yankee hats and Boston hats Yeah, and the guy I forgot who it was maybe mad dog There's one one of them the mad dogs not at WFAN anymore
Starting point is 00:13:27 Whoever whoever it was he was like you would have to be fucking crazy To wear a Yankee hat at family park. He's like you're not coming out alive Yeah, there was a time when I were a Yankee not urban There was a period of time where I was growing up where it felt like every week there was something on the news That would definitely not fly Not urban there was a period of time where I was growing up where it felt like every week There was something on the new That would definitely not fly and then and then you go why what They really have missed the job market these you know the new era and the Fanatics that's a whole new world now. I mean, this is they really could the new America everyone's watching a patch from the the World Series
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah, yeah, there's so much more real estate. There was a period in time where you get killed at Fenway Park Yeah, there was a lot of sucker punches. There was a lot of sucker punches I remember growing up where people be like yeah guy in a Yankee said got punched in the face today out of nowhere And everyone was like yeah, that's what you fucking get that's what you do what's what you see a guy we don't like wearing a different color we punch him in the fucking face what's the problem that's pimped yeah bad I'm doing it for fucking Ben Affleck this one's for Ted Williams this one's for Matt Damon this one's for Jastremski yeah this one's for Kevin Euclid's what's for the uke greatest
Starting point is 00:14:46 hitter of all time were you disappointed when you found out he was Jewish no I didn't have I heard it was a tragedy in Boston I heard people didn't leave their bedrooms for weeks it was it was tough but you know he was always a utility player so it made sense oh yeah now you're downgrading a one of the best red socks well he started off as a guy who played like six different positions and then finally found his spot Where he was at and then yeah, and then he became the guy everyone knew but for a while he was I don't even think he's Jewish is he it's a Greek enough. No, he's Greek. Is he Greek? Yeah you yeah, it's yeah a uke halkeus
Starting point is 00:15:20 Kevin the halkeus given how key he was a third baseman. Yeah, I like that guy Yeah, he played outfield for a little bit too. Then he was a DH for a couple years. I love remembering guys Yeah, it's a bit. I'm a big fan of that when I was in the UK My dad called me angry at me that I didn't call him to congratulate him on Shohei's 5050 season Congratulate him. Yeah, you know an international phone call yeah my dad was like why didn't you call me about it yeah I was like I haven't watched baseball in six years dad uh-huh yeah yeah I mean this is apparently it is the
Starting point is 00:15:54 best baseball player of all time yeah he's he's doing something special I mean he's he's one of the first guys to be able to pitch and hit like play both sides of the ball in a long time a breathe yeah. Yeah, because I think a lot of that was, there's probably a lot of guys that could, but a lot of teams just, they invest so much money in their pitchers now that they don't want to have a chance of anybody getting hurt that they're like, this is a $10 million arm, why would we go, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:14 have him hit by a ball? But if you're Japanese, you're built to die. It's true. Yeah, all in. How's your career, get a 50-50 season? I mean, that's what they're good at is dying. Yeah they were one of the best especially for a period of time they really leaned. They're still doing it I mean they killed themselves like nobody's business over there. They
Starting point is 00:16:33 love killing themselves. They just like it's like never fuck like they're committed yeah something like 30 40 percent of Japanese men have never had sex. Wow yeah is that partly just because of the it's because they jack off the drawings I mean, it's like the Occam's razor. I'm child porn all of their pornography is all the regular pornography They censor the pussy so they don't even know what's happening. Yeah, it's like a two cartoon characters getting into a fight Yeah, you know, yeah, it's the cloud of smoke Meanwhile on sign know yeah just a cloud of smoke arms there's like a meanwhile on sign question mark meanwhile the the animated pornography you see everything uh-huh you
Starting point is 00:17:10 know it's a fifth grader getting raped by an octopus yeah and that's a robot by the imagination and yeah yeah you can really get into the deep and if you're jacking off to that all day and then some like Japanese lady is like oh maybe I clean your apartment you're like you know I think I'm just gonna jack off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have these drawings. Yeah, yeah. You're one of those weird ones
Starting point is 00:17:29 with the teeth and the freckles. Yeah, if you've seen only a drawn pussy your whole life, to see a real one would be pretty jarring. Yeah, right. A huge disappointment. You're like, this is more disgusting than the octopus. Yeah. It smells like shit.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Where's the ink? I thought the gross part would be the tentacles not your weird meat flap Yeah, it's funny when people try and say it's like oh it's because of the war and their culture getting fucked up during the occupation And stuff they say that's why anime came along. No, that's why their culture is so population spiral No, I feel like that's I know it's shame and honor off the cartoons Yeah, yeah, what's weird because it is such an honor driven society still That's why I feel like a lot of people work so hard and when they don't reach that peak That's why the suicide thing the honor thing but the honor thing is not so like if your neighbor kills somebody if you have like a neighbor
Starting point is 00:18:20 That's a murderer. You have to kill yourself. I think No, it's deeply disrespectful if you're, some guy who picks up his mail next to you killed somebody. It brings shame to your neighborhood and all that stuff. Yeah, off yourself, off him. There was a serial killer, I think in the 80s in Tokyo, and they didn't know how to investigate murder just because it wasn't
Starting point is 00:18:45 he was a Korean guy that was like living oh wow they were like we have no idea how to even look into this yeah right well and to just try and find somebody on the street out there it's gonna be right exactly imagine that police line up yeah you're like it's either five or all of the usual suspects. They're like, uh, that's a picture of you. Yeah. You're looking at a picture of yourself. Yeah. And you are-
Starting point is 00:19:12 That's the guy that did it. That's right. Are you a NFL fan? Yeah. Yeah. You guys got Brady, you got Moroni, Lawrence, Ben Jarvis, Green Ellis. How are you feeling about this squad this year? I think that we have a chance to maybe get to 500 and yeah, that's about it.
Starting point is 00:19:34 I don't see us winning. Patriots guy? Isn't that? Yeah, I thought the Patriots were like the best team. No, Brady's out. Brady's not there anymore. Brady's gone. Brady went to the Bucs a couple years ago.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Now he's retired. Now he's not there. He's gone Brady went to the Bucs a couple years ago. Now. He's retired now He's doing commentary. Yeah, he's making movies. We got old women. They want to fuck him, right? Oh, yeah Oh 80 for Brady 80 for Brady. Did you actually see that movie? It's hilarious No, you watch that. Yeah, that'd be a perfect playing movie. That is a plane movie Wait, so they what do the old ladies do they go to like they're like one of us is gonna It's like American Pie is like by the end of this year one of us fucks Tom Brady. It's one of them has cancer It's like Jane Fonda has cancer and who and she gets into watching the TV gets stuck Like the TV won't change channels and they end up watching a football game and they get horny for the players and Then one of them gets cancer. No, it's it's not Jane Fonda it's Lily
Starting point is 00:20:30 Tomlin Tomlin yeah she gets cancer and then she's like I just want to see I just want to see the Super Bowl before I die right and then she pretends like she won tickets but she never won them she just bought them she likes older car and then they they go and then, you know, I mean, then the whole thing is they're there and they have one of them ends up in a poker game by accident and it's strip poker. Sounds funny. One of them wins a chicken wing eating contest. It's like, you know, it's like girls trip, but for old bitches trying to fuck Tom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:01 For women. But then he produced it, I think. That's, that's weird. You know, he was like, how about a movie where old women want to fuck Tom. Yeah for women, but then he produced it. I think that's that's weird You know he was like how about a movie where old women want to fuck me And he sexed them he was like a Weinstein during the casting that makes it would have been a lot of the original script It was Japanese men. It was for Japanese fuck Tom Brady ties around their Big night out and it's for Japanese businessmen. And if you're into that, you'll love my bookie. It's sort of got retooled a bit.
Starting point is 00:21:31 Yeah, right. Notes and rewrites guys. NFL football 2024 2025 season. It's huge this year. Oh yeah. How's the league been this year? I mean, it's been, it's exciting. A lot of exciting, a lot of fun stuff, a lot's been it's exciting lot of exciting a lot of fun stuff a lot of new players a lot of
Starting point is 00:21:48 Teams winning that normally don't it's fun You said you said that about that would be a perfect play movie and now I'm thinking it's like did I watch that on a Plane you had to have that's the only time I've seen that movie is when I'm swiping through. Yeah. Yeah It's interesting cuz yeah my head I can't remember a time I remember the only thing I ever remember watching on a plane is like two episodes of madmen and now I'm thinking maybe I did Watch 80 for Brady got sick of reading that cookbook and had to get into the I fly Americans. So there's never a screen right, right? It's it's for readers. It's a reader's area. It's an intellect It's America's original book. They're like, would you like another Diet Coke? I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm reading my recipe book.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Yeah. Instead of headphones, they give you night lights. I'm looking at receipts that I compiled into a PDF. At MyBookie.com, we want you to deposit and bet on this season of the NFL with MyBookie. And do it with us, because Nick and I have been throwing heavy money. We've been hammering bets and a big problem
Starting point is 00:22:46 I think is we had the same promo code for years. They change it on us It's now Adam 100, which is the most awesome one I can imagine. Yeah Speaking of which I got free no jumper merch this weekend. No you didn't somebody brought to me. That's fine Yeah, would you get works at no jumper brought me a shirt, a NoJumper shirt. Oh, I've emailed with that guy. I asked him, I said, is there anybody that works there that has a name? That has a real name? Or is it all, you know, like Bobo and... Yeah, no, it's like none of them are, there's not a single guy that's named like chip John Yeah, you know I was talking to John from no jumper the other day. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't exist
Starting point is 00:23:31 Yeah, they all have like Halloween You know the thing about betting right is it amplifies your NFL watching experience? Yeah, right if I'm watching two teams I don't care about right you put five bucks on a couple bucks on it you all sudden you're invested you're excited Jacksonville versus Cleveland but you got a little action on it right I'm watching that fourth quarter totally I'm shouting at the TV yeah yeah I'm saying this is how I win right I'm turning to my girlfriend be like you know where that's from yeah and she's concerned but I'm like tell me the fucking
Starting point is 00:24:03 movie you know right and she's like, but. I'm like, tell me the fucking movie that. You know? Right. And she's like, shut up, Adam. Yeah. My parents are here right now. Right. You're drunk. You're watching Red.
Starting point is 00:24:14 This season they did what, 10 games at once? Something like that, yeah. Red Zone. Red Zone. Have you ever watched Red Zone? Did they schedule it that way to try and drive sales for Red Zone or something? I think so
Starting point is 00:24:26 I think they want you to feel like you if you're a person who's doing Fantasy or you're betting a lot like you have to watch this to get all the action and do you have a fantasy team? No, I didn't do fantasy this year. I I've done it for years. I I had to quit. I had a problem Yeah, I got too into it. Were you winning or losing? I was so good. Yeah, I was amazing. I should be a GM. I literally should. I should be the commissioner of the National Football League. With that that good, you should be able to play some winning bets then. Yeah. Absolutely. That's a great idea. Yeah. And where you And you could do it at my bookie dot-com put the link in the description We will put the link in the description like join with Adam or something. It's different than the promo code
Starting point is 00:25:13 I don't understand why somehow that's our fault, but join with Adam. Yeah The promo code itself is Adam Like they're holding my hand. Come on. Yes, okay guys. You can use the platform. Yeah, it is a very Christian link. What's that?
Starting point is 00:25:36 It is a very Christian link. Join with Adam. It comes with a brochure, more information. The lady you think you can fuck but you can't. I had a group of friends I had a group of friends that like all got the finance jobs out of college yeah and so they were making like two hundred thousand dollars at like 23 right they had this like huge apartment in the West Village only one thing on the wall was a pulp
Starting point is 00:25:58 fiction like framed movie poster yeah Adams made in front of them at the same age Adam the only thing he owned was a half-baked movie, right? I didn't own it. I stole it. Yeah I stole it from John F. O'Donnell. You can get it back anytime you want John Oh art was given to you by their max or me remember that piece of garbage I brought to your apartment with the helicopter and the Lamborghini on it. Yeah, it was really nice. Yeah All my art. No, that's not true Here we go. That's not true. God. No, I buy paintings now No, what happens is you move in with your girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:26:32 You're like I have art and then it's all framed movie posters from like Japan, right? You're like, this is cool Yes, like it's not I have like two paintings I bought from some mentally ill woman on Instagram that draws like Sonic fuck Oh someone gave me a painting of you in London. I have to give it to you That's I mean people bring me stuff like that It's sitting sitting in like an art bag in my apartment because I'm not gonna like put up a drawing of me Yeah, that'd be weird if I walked in your living room and it was eight different pieces of your face I'd be like this man is large and in charge
Starting point is 00:27:02 pieces of your face I'd be like this man is large and in charge It's also too it's like people will draw people bring me art that they've done and they've drawn a picture of me But it's a picture that's like a public picture, right? That's like one of the ten photos that gets put on the internet Yeah, yeah, and so it's like lacking any intimacy of portraiture, right? You know what I mean? So it's because it's like certainly Certainly, no, I don't I go. Thank you so much. Oh these psychos that I think this is lacking the intimacy of Porsche Anyway, yeah those finance guys I knew I'm just saying it'd be very bizarre for me to put up a painting of one of my Instagram posts, right?
Starting point is 00:27:41 That's a thing you like by that's a thing you're like aunt gets tricked into buying. Yeah. Yeah, that's like a wish's a thing you like buy. That's a thing your aunt gets tricked into buying. Yeah. Yeah. That's like a wish. Yeah. And she's like, and it's also a clock. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So they used to watch Red Zone 1 p.m. games and just start doing blow. And I went to their house one day and it was the most psychotic experience in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:28:04 It's like they're still on the trading floor. Right. But there are 10 games. house one day and it was the most psychotic experience in my entire life. It's like they're still on the trading floor. But there are 10 games. You can't pay attention to a single game. No, it's insane. It's so, it is the most disorienting thing in the world is watching NFL red zone. Yeah. It's ADHD times the NFL.
Starting point is 00:28:19 It drives you insane. Yeah. And these guys just blow rails, hammer beds. Coolest guys guys I know they're good guys. Shout out to them. Anyway guys My bookie encourages you to do cocaine and watch NFL red zone for the 1 p.m. Or 10 a.m. Games Righting on the no that is not the copy Guys NFL season is back winning season is back football is back My bookie is here to make sure that you cash in on the action this season My book is pulling out all the stops with incredible promotions like weekly risk free boosts on Thursdays
Starting point is 00:28:55 Where you can bet without a sweat if your bet hits you win big Listen, and this is a this is an emotional appeal to our audience if you've been with us for a long time My bookie has treated us very well. Yeah, they've been they've they've great company great company And they're they're they're the new rep seems like a nice lady the old one I worked with for years a Canadian guy named Joey Okay, that I would only talk to him on the phone and he just had like a very thick Canadian accent Which is like it's not even like they say words different it's like that you can't parse their emotions yeah it's a rhythmic like hey how you doing my mom's
Starting point is 00:29:31 dead yeah if you leave moms in the hood yeah yeah my stomach fan yeah no but they were very nice and you know I do feel bad that we haven't done a good job so for my fault I take responsibility sorry at the very least go sign up my bookie dot AG Adam 100 signing up doesn't cost you anything and maybe you'll see something that piques your interest great and right after the show if it doesn't hit for the third risk free Thursday boost they refund your wager that's a free bet that's free money right that's a smart money move and that's just the beginning my bookie is giving away hundreds of thousands in prizes with their super survivor and squares Contest get your entries in now for a shot of huge cash rewards when you're ready to get started use my promo code
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Starting point is 00:31:19 promotions exclusive giveaways and bigger rewards my bookie plus is the lock of the century. Guys, we love my bookie. We love Joey. We love the new rep. Yeah. Thank you for sponsoring our show and we're back. Great. Good to be here. So you got anything? I feel about the weather today. Kind of shitty, huh? I like that. It's getting colder I like that. It's getting colder, but I wish it wasn't so gray. Yeah, the gray stuff I like a little sunshine, but but I don't want to be sweating leaves aren't there yet. You know right right?
Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah, it seems like I brought London back Yeah, the shows were really good guys I want to thank everyone that came out to the London shows. Seems like people like me the best in a place where the standup is the worst. That's great. Yeah, I really appreciate everyone for coming yeah manager expectations I did my I did my one-man fringe set are you doing are you doing that realizing I have micro penis right I went to Edinburgh five stars in the Guardian yeah yeah micro penis in me micro penis and I oh no I sorry sorry I know it's proper English British yeah yeah micro with an OU no but it was nice I saw Sam Campbell it's good to see my crew my crew penis yeah yeah I saw Sam Campbell's really nice shout out to Sam
Starting point is 00:32:57 great guy very good set everyone in that open was fantastic and thank you to everyone who came to the show especially the lady that gave me a portrait of Nick And then walked away and said also that she's right-wing so That was cool. It's right wing and British. I don't might be left-wing here. Oh, it goes the other way. I'm not sure that's Australia What does that mean though you like hate Pakistani people they had a race war recently sort of oh I watched that they just tried to start a Fox News g GbTV as I saw that I saw every show they had these race rides But the race riots are like somebody fucking kicking a soccer ball in a fucking store
Starting point is 00:33:42 Well, they actually did say to me, they were like. It's like they will never, like Kyle Rittenhouse just like crushes all of Europe. Yeah, they don't have the real rage inside of them. They don't have, yeah, it's not, it's nowhere near close. Like there's a picture of like one storefront that's like smashed up or there's some paint on it. Yeah, and then there's people repairing it the next day. They raise our taxes, yeah, fucking everything's getting looted, right? You know what I mean? It's a they don't that's nothing compared to you. I don't think we don't loot at all though
Starting point is 00:34:13 They like like going to the street like it's lame is a rock. Actually France does that France is really a protest But us like I feel oh, I guess Gaza they were like for the first time big I'm gonna start looting for Gaza I like that Yeah, right fuck Israel, where are the Jordans? I'm at the Apple store. I got iPhone 15. Yeah Anything to help the situation over there. Yeah, I feel like I missed a lot the pager thing happened while I was gone into a whole About lithium ion batteries the pager things is crazy. Yeah, it's nuts
Starting point is 00:34:53 I almost got I almost went back to Z on but let's hold on I need to Know your house is Phil you got all these fucking devices that have lithium ion batteries Yeah, can just explode whatever just at any point whenever they want I had a fucking I had an old Macbook like ten years ago and the battery like fucking it like blew up Inside the laptop yeah, I would just keep using it hot laptop Yeah, and I never thought that that was a bomb, but apparently it is not to say that that's what happened to the pagers How they do it was it like a remote detonator? I think they just they like Somewhere intercepted a shipment and added explosives to the to the pagers
Starting point is 00:35:33 Yeah, then they just sold them to everybody at like some discounted rate with No problem no problem explode for you great. That's where Russian do yeah, what's on it's really offensive I'll go a little more No explode for you. Great, that's more Russian, dude. Yeah, what's on? It's really offensive, actually. I'll go a little more. You say ever? Yeah, yeah, sorry. It's so funny for Israelis to sell shitty appliances. It's so them.
Starting point is 00:35:55 It's so like mall kiosk of them. Yeah, it's very much like bark them in, get it on their hip, and then yeah. They love selling the cosmetics at malls Like in the kiosk. Have you ever been to the Dead Sea? Come here. Come come come here. Here's a page Oh, very soft 40 skin, but it's also cool that that has bullet was using pagers to yeah throwback It's a it's very like trickle-down economics working globally like you whatever tech We had 20 years ago ends up in some country somewhere at some time wait, so you're afraid of batteries now
Starting point is 00:36:27 Yeah, they can just blow the fuck up. Well, that was an issue when When like this new thing of smart ones came out it was happening on planes We have one here in the office or the screw gun and I think about that. I'm like what the fuck What if that just blew up? Well, there was a point where this whenever you drill Your Dewalt is gonna yeah, the batteries are real gets hold of they're like bombs Like it's random occasionally. They'll just fail and they're short-circuit internally and then it's like like a thermite bomb They just like start cooking off at like 3,000 degrees. Yeah that was happened on planes There was a whenever some first Samsung phone came out
Starting point is 00:37:02 They were using that new type of battery and it wasn't ready for the pressure There's a great joke about that Ninans classic. Yeah, that's waiting into his sorry. I didn't want to step on his toes Yeah, come on. You're selling nine is yeah. Yeah, I was I just lasted on the way in I heard the Hezbollah's pagers exploded good thing they weren't using the new Samsung Galaxy Note s3 Yeah, they would do this bit and then he would have a Canadian accent whenever he said Samsung Galaxy. I've been off his radar for like a decade now that's probably gonna get me back on. Is he cooking still? Probably and he's got to be like 42 years old now at this point.
Starting point is 00:37:40 He's the best. Ten years ago he was 30 he was 32 Yeah, wow fascinating. He would like he would do this thing where he would um There's like websites like maybe as in muck rack is one of them There's a place for like people that are freelance You know they have like freelancing contracts with I don't know if AP does freelancing But if you want to write for like business insider or something, okay? You can just submit you they'll pay you 200 bucks and you just write an article about something business related if they can get eyes on it.
Starting point is 00:38:09 And if you're that kind of freelance journalist and you don't have any insight into anything, you can go to these websites and people will be like, you can interview me, I own a lemonade stand in Illinois. And he would go on there and he would fucking get journalists to write about him. And then he would tell on there and he would you know like fucking like get journalists the right about him And then he would tell them he's you know, you know millennial comedian, you know, ten years ago. This was a thing, right? I mean he was like 57 years old and then he would get them to publish it
Starting point is 00:38:35 He was like 27 and then he would manage them and but it's also it's like it doesn't matter You're an Indian man who does comedy. It's not like was half Indian People aren't gonna be like sorry touch shit They will yeah No, your age isn't hurting you in any way No exactly they just want your perspective in fact to be like in good shape and active and athletic at 57. That's like more It's more endearing. Yes. Yeah, it's like if people were like, oh this guy's like, yeah, he looks pretty good for Yeah, it's like if people were like oh this guy's like yeah, he looks pretty good for so good Yeah, yeah, he was an active guy I remember one time we got into it and he sent me a video of him rollerblading downstairs backwards
Starting point is 00:39:11 It's hard to like to like prove how cool you are. It's all Parkers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah It's that's not easy. I know it's not easy, but it's the game. It's the gayest flex of all time Oh, totally the gayest flex of all time totally totally gay's brag of all time Think you're gonna be cool as you're strapping on roller blades to impress you for that's a tough look. That's a bleeding Yeah, but it was so funny cuz he would just like he would he would he had an enemies list and you'd be put on His like enemies newsletter basically. Oh, wow, if you even just like said the things that he did and laughed about it Wow, so we're getting on the list right now. I don't know still a G list Yeah, I think he might be like done with all that. Yeah, you know cuz I think maybe it blew up at one point
Starting point is 00:40:02 I think he's done very well. Probably I think he was already doing well prior to that I think he had like a corporate job and made a bunch of money and understood how like corporate event booking works or something But Joe Robinson told me because Joe Robinson was like the first guy that was on his enemies list I think and Joe Robinson met him he was like hosting like a Kurt Shackelford show Shout out. And he told Joe, he's like, I make $300,000 a year doing stand up. He's like, well then why are you making $5 tonight? Right, right.
Starting point is 00:40:33 At Rerog. Yeah, why are you doing a bar in Clarendon? And so I guess Joe blogged about him or something, but then yeah, he would like go after Joe and you know criticize Joe all the time and stuff. And then JL, JL Coven, that was the other guy that was big. Yeah, yeah. It was JL Coven, Joe Robinson and Josh Homer were like Dan's... The axis of evil.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Yeah, Dan's top three. Yeah, yeah. His shit list. That top three. Yeah. Yeah, she's shitless Yeah, once you start writing lists, you're rarely in the room There's this guy the guy Nick just mentioned Kurt Shackelford was a booker in DC Okay, who had like a 25 page list of rules and they're like no do rags no sagging pants Yeah, no basketball or athletic jerseys Just like all things it was all the rules that came up with after segregation And it was all in comic sans to the funny font. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:32 Yeah, and he had a stop light. No regular light He had this giant stop light that he would set up and he always had an assistant that would work the stop light He's also a very nice guy Kurt Yeah Kurt and his and his shows were good His shows were good his shows were good, and he put on a good show and he also didn't actually enforce those rules It was like yeah, I came dressed in it. I was FUBU everything For civil rights I'm a Kurt Shackelford
Starting point is 00:41:59 Apologist yeah, I can't believe you like I feel like I was a dick he only made those rules Because he thought well you're supposed to have rules He was just trying to create an air of legitimacy rather than be any kind of Authoritarian in that situation because I never saw him enforce them He wanted the show to be pro if if those rules were real Sonny Fuller would have never done You know what I mean, and he would he would book everybody. Uh-huh. You know, yeah Yeah, no do rags no sports jerseys, that's just fun. I was wearing woo wear and Niche, yeah, of course. Yeah, what was the one with the Rhino?
Starting point is 00:42:39 Mark Echo Echo. Yeah, yeah that guy had a crazy career What what was his deal? I thought, I always assumed that he was a businessman that got into that, but no, he's just a white guy that liked graffiti or something, and then he was like, what if I made clothes? I always thought it was the black guy from Shark Tank. No. What did Damon own? Fubu was it? It was the Cosby sweater line. It was like sweaty foo foo boo. No, that's kooji Kooji come on. I thought that was pussy. You're from Boston. You know nothing about the culture. No, I don't Specifically was taught not to it was so funny when I was there. I was like, it's a city. I was like Like where the black people and they're like, oh we keep them in a neighborhood called Jamaica. Yeah Yeah, that's where I was born Jamaica plane. Oh
Starting point is 00:43:27 Really? Yeah, you know the that rock called Jamaica In New York like Jamaica and Queen yeah, yeah, it's Indian is well that yeah The name is not it has nothing to do with the island really it's a Native American word That just happens to sound exactly like Jamaica. Yeah It's a weird neighborhood. Have you been out there before? Only to like transfer on the long long island railroad. Yeah, but it's it's bizarre out there Which I love that whenever you can catch you get the LIR from JFK if you go to Bed-Stuy Yeah, you can get on that train and it's just two stops
Starting point is 00:44:05 so they won't check your ticket. Sometimes they do, but it's like a free trip. That's great. Free trip to Jamaica. And it saves a bunch of time to go from like JFK to Nostrin. Yeah, it's very fast. Also there's a bar at the Jamaica train station.
Starting point is 00:44:20 Oh, right. Yeah, I've had a couple white claws there before that's good yeah go a little fuck I felt like a business traveler yeah have you been to the white w a hotel I did right before I went to Ireland for the first time okay yeah what did you think gorgeous yeah yeah stunning the other one is and it's unfortunate because it's now a spirit Airlines terminal but the terminal one at LaGuardia yeah the, the Marine Aviation Terminal. It is the weirdest place in New York.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Well, it's a terminal from the 1930s. Oh, and it's still like locked in time? It's this round Art Deco building, and it was for the Boeing Clippers that Pan Am used to run across the Atlantic. Okay. So they used to, before, in the 30s. They didn't have like big jetliners Mainly because they didn't want to you know
Starting point is 00:45:10 You have to pour shit ton of fucking concrete for the runways and concretes aren't like Runways aren't it's not like a road. It has to be the grade has to be like fucking perfect. There can't be any imperfections Yeah, so it's a big cost so didn't have those so like to like that was the main reason that that flying boats were ideal for Transatlantic travel, okay, but then they had to build all those runways for World War two anyways, right? So now they're here. So using yeah, and then those those boat planes are actually not particularly safe Like the ones that just like land on the water like the ones from the 30s like the you know the flying yeah the actual yeah yeah so but they used to have yeah these be it's spirit airways
Starting point is 00:45:56 and Boston flights too they go out yeah the ones that go to like Cape Cod and Boston terminal still there but terminal a yeah used to just be for pain and I go to LaGuardia a lot but I've never been. Apparently you're a megabus guy. Yeah. You got to take that flight. It's awesome. Okay. Cool. I'll check it out. Yeah. But it feels like you're in Ohio in like a regional airport. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's like murals of like like Charles Lindbergh looking ass motherfuckers. That's why I like getting like locked back in time like that You're just walking through it because there's a few like even subway stations in New York that feel like that Your oldest shit, you know building I love anytime I go to fill I take the amp track that 30th Street station Oh, yeah, that's a gorgeous building
Starting point is 00:46:41 Yeah on the east or west side, huh on the other side of the shakel yeah yeah it's nice there what's your favorite train my favorite train probably the end train controversial choice you're just coming here trying to make you know I'm trying to make hot clips dude yeah I want to apologize to also someone I read a DM as I was flying back to America but it was a guy who's a driver for the tube for the London Underground and he offered me a ride along and I didn't see it when I was there, but I would have done it. That sounds awesome Do you mean just taking the subway? I don't know
Starting point is 00:47:24 in the conductor Okay, I'll be in the conductor Do you mean just taking the subway? I don't know, what do you mean ride along? In the conductor, I'd be in the, Oh, okay. I'd be in the conductor area. It's public transport. Imagine a bus driver being like, how about a ride along? Really? It's like a kid that gets to meet the pilot
Starting point is 00:47:38 and get the wings. But I get to do it on a train, on a subway train. Subway tube, fucking pin. It's so cool. Yeah yeah so this is the mechanism all you should start and go and that's about it I can't believe that the you've heard about that autistic black guy that that breaks into all the trains and pretends to be an operator here in New York he's been arrested like seven times so he'll he'll he's autistic and he'll like disguise himself as an MTA worker get on the train and then run the usual route
Starting point is 00:48:08 Why don't they just hire him? I because that's perfectly too. I had an announcement today They were hiring I'm like just bring the guy in if he wants the job that black Is kind of its own spell using Riker a new part of the spectrum There was a guy there was a black autistic guy in Florida that was pretending that dog BG Why I love that kid that makes sense to pretend to be yeah No, I haven't heard of this there's a dude pretending to be there's like a 14 year old who's like got a lab coat People use a pussy doctor Honestly is the coolest kid. That's what you pretend to be when that's a good like going to hospitals and telling people he was a pussy doctor. Honestly, he's the coolest kid I've ever met. That's what you pretend to be, Wendell. That's a good autism
Starting point is 00:48:48 right there. It's crazy with all the security and like, you know, like you're constantly surveilled and all of these things. So much of, like you can do anything if you have the right uniform and a badge that looks even somewhat real. Totally. Especially in a hospital. There's so many people coming and going you show up in scrub fucking You can just dress up like a pilot and walk anywhere the fuck you want. Yeah. Yeah Well, at least the airport you have to have a badge feels like in the hospitals They don't check them you see I mean you guys you TSA you see people especially the JFK. Yeah It's like there's a million employees. It's the lady that's like I work at Dunkin Donuts Just put that dude's headshot the fuck. Yeah, right
Starting point is 00:49:24 Walk right through did you want to be a comedian when you were a kid? I always thought about it like I I loved comedy I first listened to us probably like 11 or 12 or something like that, but I want Pablo Francisco. I love Pablo Francisco I love like Brian Regan was my pop was so and I was 11 or 12. He was my favorite comedian Pop was so funny. When I was 11 or 12, he was my favorite comedian. He's so funny. Yeah, that Arnold Schwarzenegger, Little Tortilla Boy. Yeah, the Little Tortilla Boy.
Starting point is 00:49:48 That premium blend was like- So good. That used to hit so hard. Yeah, especially because he was so out there compared to a lot of other guys. He really stood out with that big act out and the voices and everything like that. The Latino clown. I'm referring to every Hispanic comedian. The Latino clown.
Starting point is 00:50:02 The Latino clown. The J-State. Yeah. to every Hispanic yeah yeah no I was I was a baseball player for when I was a kid like I played in the college and stuff like that and you played d1 no d2 yeah I know I should have known earlier that it wasn't no our boy over there D one well yeah I mean just with the size you put him in D does he like does he like son you about it for the audience audience at home, Pete is 730 pounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:27 And in 8'4". He did D1 sumo. Yeah. Yeah. Right. He was D1 sumo. It's got to suck to be a big fat guy and think like, oh, I'm going to do sumo and I'll be good at it,
Starting point is 00:50:40 because all the big guys are big fat guys. And then you suck at it. It's like the one thing you could have maybe have done and no now. You're just some asshole. We're in a diaper Yeah, it's all Thing just sadly eating the salt that I've been watching sumo Yeah, you see that Aaron Donald clip Aaron Donald from the NFL No, they're like Micah Parsons that's someone from the NFL It was Micah Parsons like fight one of the sumo guys. Oh really who won
Starting point is 00:51:15 By the sumo I mean we got we ought to teach them boys to protect a goddamn quarterback and I Sumo guys become off offensive linemen Goddamn quarterback. Can I well you know what you guys become off offensive linemen? They will after that I would have had that I if I was GM yeah telling you I would have that idea Locked up by Samoans It's a lot of Samoans. It's a lot of foreign boys It's crazy that like Dwayne Johnson is what happens if like a Samoan person goes on a diet is what happens if like a Simone person goes on a diet. You know what I mean. They could all be the rock. They just started counting calories. Yeah they could be fucking basically Barack Obama. Yeah keep the tattoos. It'll all look good. They could be that Bruno Mars.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Yeah too many too many. A lot of slurpy stock scale. Yeah apparently Bruno Mars is a like everyone around Vegas. Yeah I've heard he is a Degenerate yeah, I've heard he's working the net the rest of his contract for free cuz he's already spent All makes 10 million on a show and then the casino has it back within two hours Yeah And I think he's so far under right now that he's just trying to make up his debt with these shows that he's doing So I don't know if he's seeing any at least that's how bad could you be a gambling I mean I guess like gambling is in pot besides at my bookie calm right where you get a free bet
Starting point is 00:52:31 especially if you I don't think I've won anything ever I've had a couple lucky things but I'm doing all very low stakes I go there with like a hundred bucks or a couple and try and see or yeah or put a couple hands a blackjack or throw some money on a roulette table or Something but I've never had even the slightest interest I've been in a casino and I'm like, well the lights are pretty the feeling of I'm not gonna lose money Like you don't feel as good as how bad you're like I had 20 bucks one second ago Yeah, when I was like a drunk I would like relate it to, because I had friends
Starting point is 00:53:06 that would gamble and it's like if I opened up the fridge every day and I'm like, I hope I get drunk today, and I drank 30 beers and nothing happened, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic. You weren't even drunk and the beers didn't even work. Well now I've gained 35 pounds and I wasted my money. Yeah, it would just wouldn't I don't understand Yeah, yeah, especially like for a guy like that where you're dealing with everything like you're doing Like you said multiple million dollars in shows a year and then so talented give it away like that You're working at like the Dolby It's like a high-tech fucking a theater that you're working in every night and to just give all that money away
Starting point is 00:53:44 It's like what are you doing this for like do you ever win like who's an addict that's what I get that I get that yeah I'm just yelling at a guy who's addicted I don't understand how you lose ten million dollars in two hours to five million dollar hands of blackjack and they like they'll like treat you well too so they'll be worse if you're a high roller they'll like give you the yeah but they'll treat you they'll also they'll be worse if you're a high roller. They'll like give you the yeah, but don't Don't treat you well if you're Bruno Mars if you're just performing at the venue Yeah lose all your money right away. Yeah, that can't be true. He can't Caleb has the bug. I went to like the the win. You know about AIDS
Starting point is 00:54:29 He has HIV. Yeah, I went to the win in Boston and he was down like 200 bucks and he's like, and I'm like, bro, I'm tired. Like, let's go. He's like, he's like, I just need, I just need to, and he puts his hands to the slots like this. Oh God. He feels the aura. And then, and then he went on a fucking, what was it? Big bang theory or no Big Bang Theory
Starting point is 00:54:45 was what Josh Androsky was. Androsky won a million dollars. It was like a TV show. Did you hear about this? No. Josh Androsky was doing like, I don't know, I think it was like a club in Palm Springs or something. And he's not a gambler at all.
Starting point is 00:54:58 He's like, oh, there's a Big Bang Theory slot machine. How funny is that? Yeah. Puts a quarter in, wins a million fucking dollars. What the fuck I want those progressive jackpot type things that are insane But anyway like Caleb felt the aura couldn't have happened to a nicer guy by the great guy That's like what I feel like literally anybody else. I'd be like I'm never speaking that yeah
Starting point is 00:55:20 Yeah, and he hit he got his money back Wow At least yeah, and he hit he got his money back Wow Worked that's amazing. He's real magic dude. There's no it was like an it was an Asian themed one It was like red dragon dragon link. Yeah dragon karate What is something? Yeah, I've gotten into there. It's nice that all the slot machines are themed as like things that you could hate if you lose Right fuck the mentalist yeah wheel of fortune get suck my dick fuck you pet say jack Yeah, no I it's been showing up on my feet a lot more just cuz I've been been in Vegas a lot of dudes that are like
Starting point is 00:55:59 That's a big thing right now. You go to Vegas a lot just for shows and so did you do skank's fest? You as a skank no by the way if if you're in Vegas skanks fest is this weekend. Yeah get tickets I will not be there neither will either either either. Yeah, not yeah. No, I'll do like the seller They're Brad Garrett's and stuff like that. How are they? It's tough. It's the shows are great I've always heard it's tough with tourists. I mean like so drunk it depends on the show I mean the good thing about Brad Garrett's they do one show a night. It's one eight o'clock Raymond Raymond exactly does he do that? Where did he get the money for that club? He was the guy on everybody loves I mean that show is massive
Starting point is 00:56:38 And I think you know but how do you get the club for it cuz it's his club. Yeah, it's his club Yeah, he had it there for a while like for a long time I think he rode that wave on see in something prior to everybody loves Raymond. I don't think so Okay, and he was doing stand up and stuff like that he was a Stand-up stand-up money isn't by a fucking casino. No, I mean now now I think they like Branded it. I think it's probably like a brand deal that he signed with you But what investment group is like, you know what the theme should be the brother from every That's not even one of the slot machines
Starting point is 00:57:16 Yeah, right it wasn't like the brother from everybody loves raymond slot machine Yeah, so how would they go whole casino? I don't shows are good there. Yeah, they're great. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's I just don't I want to avoid my family. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean it's it's still very much You're dealing with a lot of tourists and a lot of people from all over but you don't deal it certain clubs are well I just have my dad in the front row just being like you're a disappointment Yeah, why did you do this? Yeah, that'll make up for anything. There's a great guy There's a wise guys to in Vegas, right? Yeah, they just opened a new room up there. So I think they have two different rooms. Yeah, your dad would say that, but he would do this.
Starting point is 00:57:49 You would be like... My dad came to Funny Mom's one week and nearly died from an asthma attack. Whoa. And some, thank God, some girl in the front row had an inhaler and saved my father's life Wow while you were on stage was just helpless doing Was like does anyone have a Sad he thought he was laughing Yeah, I was like finally yeah, it's like felt like scoring a game winning like a walk-off My dad's dying I killed killed my father. You're celebrating
Starting point is 00:58:27 in your mind. Yeah. Harry's right. Harry's razors guys. Do you shave. Yeah. Everything. Yeah everything. Bear down to the baby's bottom. Yeah. You're a swimmer. That's right. Of course. Yeah, so I'm a drag No, not at all with especially with my physique First base I was a catcher Yeah, pause pause Catcher like yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay Harry's Yeah, okay Harry's
Starting point is 00:59:09 Hosts Adlib tell a funny story about a time a joke didn't land. Oh just like just now just now Okay, maybe you bombed on stage or couldn't impress on a date. Keep it light. The hell is up with these copy What does that have to do with? There I think they're just coded insults in there or just straight forward Yeah, what is it Chad GPT though? What would these two guys say about I don't think it's specific to us thing goes out there because this next one's specific to the next line is Adam Friedland free loaded off the talents of Nick Mullen and Stavros Halkeus for years, but everyone knows that Yeah, they're sending that Sending that to everyone. The West Coast guys are getting that. Bobby Lee
Starting point is 00:59:49 has that. Yeah. Spread the word. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee sitting there. Barely wearing a beanie saying those exact words. Just doing an Asian minstrel see for a. He's like who the fuck is Adam Friedland? Who fuck is that New York guy those guys say anything New York guy those guys really say anything But Harry okay, everyone knows in the comedy world Everyone in the comedy world knows not every joke delivers, but Harry's always does mmm unlike my joke about What'd you play baseball catcher? Switch to pitcher after oh
Starting point is 01:00:28 Last couple years rate. Yeah went to fucking is it true what they say about that. They're all sociopaths baseball players pitchers Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, there's a psychopath. There's an ego to it for sure and you're separate They say there's certain jobs like everybody that does that as a psychopath. Yeah surgeon surgeon and pitcher pitcher those Trevor Bauer that guy is a like Actually, it was a false accusation, right? Yeah, right with Trevor Bauer. Yeah with Trevor Bauer. What was the accusation? Something with was it being a crazy Sexual something when it comes to that with athletes. I'm like, yeah, probably no,, they're all animals. No, a lot. Come on. Oh, yeah. Right. All lies. Everybody's a great. They're fucking everything that moves. That's why you become
Starting point is 01:01:13 a professional baseball player. Okay. So Harry's always delivers. They send the best quality razors right to your door for a fraction of the price and by the way they wanted us to say that every athlete who's ever been accused was okay okay cool yeah okay so that's good better designed shaving products at a better price is no joke it's Harry's I've had an experience with Harry's it's phenomenal it's taken off all the hairs it felt great and I got pussy off of it. Oh yeah. From a girl because my face was she said you have a face of a boy there's no hairs and that's what I'm attracted to. She was into that. She was into it yeah. Describe the quality of the product what do you think Nick? I think it's
Starting point is 01:02:00 fucking awesome. What about the deodorant lotions body wash hair gels, etc. I'm loaded up dude I'm slick right now Jerry's wet in lotions I've got so many lotions on right now. You look supple. Yeah deodorants Soaking wet just covered in lotion. Yeah, my man like a slip is live. Yeah How did it make you feel Nick? How did it smell? It smelled great. I love the smell The smell of the lotions and the way they feel on my skin. I Love the razor. I love it. You can barely feel it just glides over everything and then you don't have any there's no stubble
Starting point is 01:02:39 There's no shadow great. I feel like I don't have to shave for the rest of my life Yeah, but I do of course because that's not how the body works Without naming other brands how does it compare to Alternatives that you've tried. Well, the alternatives are bad. I guess I'd say that I wouldn't even say their names. Yeah, uh guys Here's what makes Harry's unbeatable In terms of value German engineered blades, you know what they did over there. Yeah. And they make them in their own factory
Starting point is 01:03:11 and they stay sharp longer. Great. That's what they say about the Germans. That's a cool job. They stay sharp. Working in the blades factory. The blade factory. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of group texts about going to the gathering of the Juggalos at the Blades Sector. Yeah, yeah. What are you doing this weekend?
Starting point is 01:03:29 Oh, I guess, yeah, it would be in Germany. Yeah. All we have to see is the Juggalos. Do they have, I guess, Oktoberfest is as close as you get to that in Germany. Yeah, less face paint, but still as much energy. I remember as a kid thinking, I'm like, I mean, I can't wait to go to Oktoberfest. And I didn't know what it was. I just heard the word and I thought it was like there'd be
Starting point is 01:03:46 Halloween candy costumes on the house and then it's just German people like trying different types of pepper yeah really stupid stuff yeah big rallies huge speeches right yeah a lot of the you know rallying a whole nation duck walk in yeah uh you can get a five blade razor hitler's rally's free or did you have to like buy a ticket to go see her bringer if you bring 10 people to the rally you'll get a free pin no i wanted did you have to like buy a ticket to go see hitler i don't know is there somebody with that like in their journal. He made 75 million
Starting point is 01:04:26 Deutsch marks on the road that year. Yeah, what was the gate? He was basically the Matt rife of his day A lot of people are saying that uh, I tell you I had a dream that about Matt rife They were at him that he was good that he like got good at stand-up and I was like trying to explain to people Something's changed. Yeah, he's on fire. Yeah Yeah, I'm like no he's doing he's like self-aware now and there's like What a dream it's just a general idea of redemption I guess yeah Guys they have a five blade razor, weighted handle, foaming shave gel and a travel cover for just three bucks at harrys.com slash tafs. That's get started at harrys.com with a thirteen dollar trial set for just three dollars at
Starting point is 01:05:22 harrys.com slash tafs that's harrys.com slash tafs for the $3 trial set. harrys.com slash tafs. Adam are you in town this weekend? Yes. Can you feed my cat? Yes. Okay thank you. Wouldn't trust me to do it.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Well you're all the way in Queens. I gotta find somebody. I even feel bad asking because he's all the way in Fort Greene. I thought you had the automatic feeder. I can't, she can't use it anymore because her teeth got removed. She can't, she can only have wet food. So I don't have to chew it and spit it in the mouth? No, you just open the can of wet food. It's Hill Science Diet Senior Vitality. I'm spending like $100 a month now on cat food.
Starting point is 01:06:03 We gotta get him to sponsor the show. Yeah, I guess I don't know the vet recommended it but I'm sorry about she's doing a lot better. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, she got her teeth removed no teeth So yeah, what else is in the news so you're a Zionist yeah, I'm a Zionist yeah hardcore What's your favorite part of it? It's it's mostly how it makes me feel I would say and superiority, you know feeling like my position already of what cured uh, you know just of being of self and So you're from Southie projects, yeah born and raised Southie projects. What's it like there? Okay?
Starting point is 01:06:46 It's it's like all white people. Yeah, it's all whites. We made sure that it's hardcore You know a lot of people fucking going around slapping each other's clock. Mm-hmm, then call him fags and shit doesn't upset you and people make a Like a joke about the bombing? Like the marathon bombing? The marathon bombing. I mean, no, I don't think anything's open to jokes. Oh, you're like a free speech kind of? Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want, but it should be funny.
Starting point is 01:07:12 Do you think it's not offensive? Do you think Tsarnaev should be getting the death penalty or no? I don't know. I think the death penalty is interesting. A lot of me wants to have people serve their time. I think a lot of people do stuff like that thinking thinking that they're gonna die at the end of it. The school shooters and stuff like that, they're like, oh, I'll just do this and then I'll die. It's like, no, now you should have to kind of live
Starting point is 01:07:30 with that for a little bit. No, but he's gonna get pussy, right? As a mortar. They should put him in a zoo. There's only like 300 Chechens in there. The zoo would be nice. We can go check him out. I know it sounds racist,
Starting point is 01:07:42 but if there's only 300 of a type of person, they belong in the zoo. Right. At least a few of them, so we can study and give them their environment. If it were 1890, that's what we would do. Chechens, Boston Brahmins. Boston Brahmins? Yeah, there are like 300 probably left. They have a little enclosure with Adidas track pants right and a Sony Walkman
Starting point is 01:08:06 Like weights made out of car parts places for them to squat around. Yeah, right stare at people Yeah, yeah, I think that was listening to the theme song from the 1995 Mortal Kombat Fuck yeah, Chichester number one This is the one song we have. Yeah I'd pay for that. I'm not going to go to a real zoo but I'd pay for that. I would love that. I want to see a sad gorilla but to see some Chechnya. Next to him a baboon. Yeah. It's all mixed together. It's watching. Yeah. The primate house.
Starting point is 01:08:48 The Chechens got into the baboon enclosure. They're all still jacking off. No, they're doing MMA against them. Yeah. One of our zookeepers got arm barred by one of the Chechens. They can't stop doing MMA. She was feeding him. It's a spice dust that they eat there.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Favorite spice. They made a delicacy in Chechnya, which is the contents of a vacuum bag Spiced beyond beyond comprehension. It's delicious. Did you see that zoo in China that had dogs painted as pandas? And they're like clearly in bear costumes. Yeah I saw that one. This was like just straight up like Burmese mountain dogs. Yeah. And they just painted and they just painted them like that. And they were like yeah people said they were barking at the bears were well because trying to make way more money just selling or renting the pandas. Yeah they were the pandas. I know. Yeah. We sis the panda. We have to pay. We were gambling. Oh yeah. For the one that they had us the pandas. No, they lease us the pandas. Wait, we have to pay for Ling Ling?
Starting point is 01:09:46 For the one that they had in DC. But they took it back when they were mad at us, right? I think it was because it was leased. And we paid like $10 million for that panda. No, we didn't. Here's the rule. If the panda, like it's like they work like people, where if the panda gives birth here, you get to keep it. So that's why they're always trying to make the pandas- Oh, an anchor baby. That's why they're always trying to make the pandas fuck
Starting point is 01:10:07 It's not because they're like oh, we don't have enough pandas. It's because we get to keep the panda Oh, and then it helps you revenue that is that is the fucking Dumbest thing I've ever heard of my entire life That we're trying to make fucking pandas fuck each other to stick it to China. Yeah, and there in danger that's why we're doing it it's like no it's because the repo guy is gonna come take there's a fucking lesbian lady that works at that zoo that's in charge of like getting them in the mood there's there's Kevin Kevin James looking lessee yeah yeah just showing up with Chinese I never saw a zookeeper was that a good one?
Starting point is 01:10:50 Is that Kevin James movie? Yeah, I was the after Paul Blarty. They gave him a different job. Oh really? No, I only saw the the Matt Damon movie the we bought a zoo. Yeah, that's a Boston movie I don't think it's a boss anything with Matt Damon's if I can watch should be yeah talented. Mr. Ripley Elysium. Elysium Boss. Elysium. Born. When he's speaking Spanish. Doesn't he speak Spanish in that movie? In Elysium? Yeah, Como Esta.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Como Esta. Doesn't he speak Spanish in Elysium? For like a minute? I don't remember. Have you seen that clip of that movie Denzelzen where he... Hurricane. Going around. No, I don't think so. That clip of that movie Denzel's in where he hurricane going around no I don't think so where they cast him in the 80s as a as an East London like a guy
Starting point is 01:11:32 Is he putting the accent up? I'm just gonna play for you guys did that they would put America because America has Like movie stars we have like actors and then they would like send the movie stars Or just do them domestically have them play like a British person An Australian person right right and then it would be like Laughable which I'm fine with that. I mean, there's enough British guys coming to play Americans Yeah, but they spend a bunch of time with like a private tutor. Yeah, and learn how to have like the subtle nuances of right, right I mean, oh, yeah, I'm done Joe Washington. Tony Collette and fucking six cents is crazy I watched the submarine movie the Denzel was that it's a
Starting point is 01:12:12 Crimson Tide on the plane. Yeah So dope. Yeah, so dope. It's about mutiny. Okay on a submarine. Yeah, no chicks Fuck you So us I hate it when there's a Tried to have a little like submarine movie. I was like, I'm gonna do a submarine down Paris Go the afternoon and I started with Das Boot which is a slog
Starting point is 01:12:38 That is such a fucking boring movie And so I just stopped there I was like, I can't believe I just sat here and tried to watch Das Boot again and then just watched the Ocean Gate footage. I should have just watched Down Periscope. Down Periscope is so funny. Das Boot might be the worst submarine movie and it's crazy because everyone's like oh this is the best one. Down Periscope is the worst submarine movie it's literally better than DasT. Are they comedies?
Starting point is 01:13:05 Are they meant to be comedies? No, DOSBOOT's German. There's nothing funny about it. Oh, yeah. Have you seen any submarine movies? I don't know if I have. Not any that are based around the entirety of the submarine. K-19, The Widowmaker, U-571, DOSBOOT, Down Periscope,
Starting point is 01:13:23 Crimson Tide, Hunt for red october hunt for red october I have seen but it's been it's been so long Yeah, it's interesting to put together a submarine based evening for you. Well. There's not a lot of them bail on it It was more like a like week week. Okay weekend kind of marathon Yeah, yeah, you know it's actually really good is that fucking Tom Hanks Greyhound movie that he made for like Apple TV Yeah, I saw some clips of that, but I haven't seen the whole series. It's great. Well. It's just one movie Oh, it's oh, it's just a movie. Yeah, okay cool. Yeah, it's funny I didn't watch it forever because I would confuse it with there's a Nicolas Cage movie that came out like two years prior that's like
Starting point is 01:14:03 the boat man you know it's just he's like it's some naval Nicolas Cage movie yeah yeah that that I had to turn off there's another one that came out around the same time it's Nicolas Cage is like an ex CIA officer that gets dementia so yeah he's like he can't be in the CIA anymore because he has memory problems. Yeah That's not gonna stop that movie's great. Yeah Yeah, it's good to see Nicolas Cage still working because he really had an era there where he felt like he was in everything Yeah, he kind of disappeared him and Ben Frazier felt like disappeared at about the same time. Yeah, really loves working Yeah, well now it just seems like they're all coming back around. I think yeah
Starting point is 01:14:43 Yeah Well is Brendan Frazier in things or is he? It just seems like they're all coming back around. I think yeah, it's good Yeah Well is Brendan Fraser in things or is he? Just the whale he did the whale and I mean I know he got that big standing ovation at the French Film Festival I don't know if that was for the whaler for some other love your having they fucking clap for everything. Yeah, it's it's a lot Yeah, they clap for air bud Airbuds worth air bud Warren Khan and they the French people were asking the dog questions It's a lot. Yeah, the clap for Air Bud. Air Bud's worth it. But Warren Khan and the French people were asking the dog questions. I saw what was it like to score the game?
Starting point is 01:15:12 Do you think there is a like there is a metaphysical quality to the dog? It's a play basketball. Sure. OK, thank you. My smart question was validated, which makes me smart. I am an expert in this field. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun. You know what I saw today actually that was, they used the first suicide booth ever today. Have you seen that? That just came up. Yeah, I just saw that this morning It was like a 57 or year old woman or something now. They've had them
Starting point is 01:15:47 This is a new this is the first one that they like Under law and then we so just like floods with nitrogen or something Yeah, it's I mean it looks it looks like a space capsule And then you put it on like the edge of a cliff so that people can like look at the sunset or something Yeah, something like that something nice. I mean why not just put a screen in there or something? That's terrifying. Turn me into a robot. Turn me into a killing machine.
Starting point is 01:16:08 Also, there's so many fun ways to kill yourself. I thought you know you're really depressed. No, and people are like, would you upload your brain to a computer? Absolutely, as long as the computer is a killing machine. Or at least has the ability to become one at the right time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't fucking die dude that sounds like
Starting point is 01:16:26 it sucks die is the scariest thing ever yeah yeah I was saying there's a suicide booth they just use for the first time like you just load into the capsule and they're using them up in Canada they just like made them legal I thought you meant Eric Adams was sending them up we couldn't do that in America because it's like the second they put a black woman in one of those things it's like oh yeah that's genocide there's riots you know what I mean yeah yeah one crazy even if she made the decision herself it's like who told her about it you know not that I think that she would use it
Starting point is 01:16:59 but the optics of that would be it would be tough. That would be a fucking nightmare. Yeah. Yeah, it's like that's the only reason California killed a black woman in a pod They're like we helped her yeah Yeah, that's a slippery narrative. Yeah, I would love it if mayor Adams was like That's probably why they're installing Kamala so they can roll out the pile out the pods. They're like we talking about Oh, you don't like the Trump loss? One of them's president. Yeah. It's not a genocide.
Starting point is 01:17:28 One of them's president. I always thought that. I never understood when that Will Smith movie came out, the iRobot, the Hazmob movie. Yeah, yeah. Now, he doesn't play the robot. Well, he has a part of him is a robot. That gets revealed later.
Starting point is 01:17:41 Yeah, I always thought about that. It's like, if we ever had androids, they couldn't be black people Why you think because you can't just like be like, oh, no, they're not slay. Well, we don't pay them Yeah, they're black for some bad. Yeah, that'll be the new that's like the new race That's gonna get invented where we can kind of decide on how we want to be racist towards I always wanted to see like a sci-fi movie where like the computers or robots take over Yeah
Starting point is 01:18:05 But they do it by being pathetic Like they're just they like engender so much empathy because they're like, can you help me? Yeah, I need all the money and the nuclear weapons the world's programmed against me I don't know how I can't which was basically the new aliens movie, right? That was both he was black and not only you know it's like the aliens black the yeah oh I never had that reading of the movie yeah there's a racial yeah there's always a racial oh yeah that's why they're always doing this predator is black cuz he has dreads the dreads yeah yeah yeah but that's why
Starting point is 01:18:41 alien verse predators actually black. The alien is new. Alien vs. Predator is like an east coast, west coast. The alien is a migrant, I thought. Yeah, still a person of color. I think we can all agree. No, the robot in the new one is a black guy. Oh, the robot was. Oh. I still haven't seen any alien movies. Wow, really?
Starting point is 01:19:02 Yeah. Well, you should sit down and have yourself a submarine alien extravaganza. Here are the big ones I've missed. I never saw Jaws. Oh, wow. Really? I've never seen Jaws. That's crazy. It's worth it just for the fucking ... You've seen 80s for Brady, but not Jaws? No. Oh, you saw 80s for Brady. No, he's a cinephile. Jaws is worth it just for the here's great USS, Indianapolis scene when when Shaw gives that speech but
Starting point is 01:19:30 200 men went into the water. I know that speech from the video of you doing a parody of that speech Oh, okay. So remember that video. I don't have the ability to do that anymore. No, it's good. No. Yeah, my brain doesn't work Yeah, every every hour I'll be like what about a Banana that wears pajamas And that's it that's something yeah, that's the most you can get out of it But no, that seems great. They brought in John Milius to write it He just wrote for that scene just that like oh wow he just punched up one scene yeah pretty they were like we need John Milius has to say
Starting point is 01:20:10 whatever they get some epic shit down he's awesome yeah he's right wing or no yeah he's right way he's right wing yeah that's a American right wing or British right American right okay that's left wing my bad. Oh, no, that's Australia No, I watched their Fox News GBTV they like try to start Fox News and it's all that guy Farage and that guy is awesome now. What's his first name? I've always said it wrong. Okay, yeah, come on. Don't even go there. Well, I you know It's Britain knows like wow Maybe it's like cunt. It's not a bad word there. Yeah
Starting point is 01:20:51 She's going to Word say the ever It's like that in your country you get you can go to jail for it like yeah You really go to jail for tweeting like yeah you really go to jail for tweeting for it yeah it's a lot over there apparently a bunch of people from the race wars they just had are in jail for Facebook status updates yeah that's crazy yeah man to have it that be that easy to go to jail like to just type something yeah they don't have free speech you got at least hit somebody I
Starting point is 01:21:22 don't have free speech I know that's great people forget about. It's like you're just one thing away with all that shit You should have been that should it be immediately you can just apologize and you get off There's like a formal apology because that's like I mean, they don't have a constitution whatever but at the very least Because people just say shit I should be able to people just be saying shit people be they do be saying, you know I mean, yeah, I was like I can't like I could not function in a place like that I have no problem apologizing. It would be that it would be a temptation. I Would not be able to I know well, I wouldn't even think about it I'd say something and then I'm thinking I'm saying something else
Starting point is 01:22:01 Right, and then you should be able to bring me in front of the court jester or whatever and I'm like look I didn't I'm sorry yeah she brother just tweet again and that's that makes up for the crime that you did yeah those wig guys also it's stupid cuz it's like you spelled Nigel with an extra G yeah that's do you have to say for yourself come on man if that's the case it should be the government should go after the fucking they should go after Twitter there's your path they should pass laws that say like, you need to police your platform better. Brazil just banned it, I think for that reason. Well, I think they banned it because Elon Musk threatened to fight Maduro.
Starting point is 01:22:36 In Venezuela though, right? Yeah, didn't that happen? And then he was like threatening... Like MMA? Yeah, he was like, I'm gonna come there and fight you and then after that it was banned well that he's just demanding the Jews vote for him you better do it Israel he's like we'll be nuked we will get rid of you if you don't vote for me you're a piece of shit you're near you're one of the bad ones you're not Jewish you're not a real Jew the real Jews they vote for me
Starting point is 01:23:07 He's awesome, dude Think there's gonna be a third assassination attempt. There'll probably be a couple more. Yeah, that's the second one I don't even know if you can call it attempt the guy just pull it pointed the barrel through I don't know if you even had the ball. He was sitting there for like he was there for like 12 hours He was like camped out with body armor What's crazy to have 12 hours to set up and not have any sort of camouflage set up You don't put a little hiding in like a bush I yeah, but to not block your barrel from sticking out to the point where somebody can see I don't know all the details But I do know because I initially it was like oh, there's a guy with a gun there
Starting point is 01:23:34 It's like it's Florida could have just been a guy taking his gun from his backyard, right? Yeah, and that but no he was no he was sitting there dating his gun. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, what do you do for Ukraine? Is that what he said? I don't know. It's like a mentally ill guy. Yeah Yeah, he was just fed up with with everything I guess but it is crazy to go golfing after you've been shot at Like there's a bit of balls to that. I think to be like I love this I'm gonna go golfing after like you're only on the long ranges with people places for people to hide around you like honestly I admire that. Yeah, I would I admire that that's some balls to go out there loves the game after like you're only on long ranges with people places for people to hide around you like honestly I Admire that yeah, I would I admire that that's some balls to go out there loves the game
Starting point is 01:24:09 It would be cool if Kamala was shot that murder Just just to see like Sean Hannity. Yeah, like well, they wouldn't care if it happened to Trump Go on TV telling people why they shouldn't care Just like going on TV telling people why they shouldn't care. Because that's exactly what would happen. Obviously don't try to shoot a candidate for president, but if you're going to, just try to shoot all of them. That's what I'm saying. And that's what happened.
Starting point is 01:24:37 There were two attempts on Trump's life. Only one on Kamala. Is it our fault that it was successful? No. It's still two versus one. It's two on one. I think one of her offices got shot. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:24:48 Yeah, campaign offices. Well, maybe it was her. She did it. Yeah. False flag. And Tifa. That's all. With her gun.
Starting point is 01:24:55 Yeah. She shot sideways. Black style. Yeah, she was on Oprah. And she said, I have a gun, and I will shoot anyone that comes to me. Oh, yeah, I did say that and I will shoot anyone that comes to me She said if Trayvon was in front of me right now
Starting point is 01:25:22 Yeah, I don't know it's it's interesting because the election now it feels like we don't even talk policy almost at all anymore What the funniest thing is all of these like pollsters None of them have any fucking idea Oh, no, no idea if you believe they're like their credibility has been destroyed over the last couple years Yeah, and then they still get there like people still ask them and they're like, ah, well, yeah, I could be It could be either one of them it's like family feud you have to tell me who you asked Yeah, just say we asked a hundred people and here's the vote It's like the hundred blue-collar workers. Did you ask a hundred of these people? I thought you're gonna say it's like family feud because it's white people versus black people. Well, that is a part. Yeah Johnson family It's a race war
Starting point is 01:26:00 By Steve Harvey hosted by Steve Harvey would be a good. Yeah, I would like to see him as a moderator Yeah, the Secretary of by Steve Harvey. Yeah, hosted by Steve Harvey would be a good... I would like to see him as a moderator. Secretary of Transportation Steve Harvey. Be so sick. Be so sick. Act like a damn man. The fuck you mean the buses aren't running all the time? We'll get that fixed right away Mr. Harvey. The buses have never been better.
Starting point is 01:26:24 You can get from Midtown Manhattan to Dallas, Texas in 15 minutes now. I never like heard or knew the name of the secretary of transportation, but it seems to me as if Buddha judge has done an awful job. Yeah, like the airlines have been a mess for the last four years Just that guy managed to fuck it up Yeah, I think it's time to go the other way and re-regulate the airlines We need to go back the flights costing, you know, you want to fly from DC to Boston. It costs $15,000 Right three course meal you get a cigarette the flight attendants speak German. Yeah There's a grand piano
Starting point is 01:27:06 attendance speak German yeah yeah there's a grand piano yeah yeah yeah you get a bisque off cookie of water and some pussy on every flight yeah it's that or spirit the rest of the fly spirit either holding a rope or you're fucking get your dick sucked in first class no no they keep trying to merge too they keep trying to like yeah just buy everything Yeah, the small airlines are now trying to yeah And that's I mean I feel like that's how a lot of them now It's all this this operated by that it's Endeavor Air operated Yeah, those deals American Airlines and JetBlue had one here, but the court broke it up. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I don't know I mean the crowd strike stuff was crazy too that was just like it makes you realize how vulnerable the whole system is
Starting point is 01:27:44 That's what I mean everything is code it's yeah and now we're a guy pretending to be a pilot just walking through an airport yeah that's the next catch me if you can yeah that's that's doable I think we're back to being able to do that again that movie is so sick it's cool but then they it's presented almost it's like isn't crazy you used to be able to get away with this stuff in the 60s it's like you isn't it crazy? You used to be able to get away with this stuff in the 60s. It's like, you can still do that. You can totally still do it. You can do all of that.
Starting point is 01:28:06 Yeah, you can make that badge. You had to make checks. I don't know how to do that. He got really good at stationary. Yeah. The biggest stuff he did, he was just wearing a different costume, you know? And just making it up as he went along.
Starting point is 01:28:18 Right. Yeah. No, that's the jump seat. But he studied for the bar, and he passed it. That's impressive Frank Abagnale Abagnale Abagnale yeah is that the movie no it's back to the future he tells the he likes hot dr. pepper Christopher Walken there's nothing I love more than a hot Dr. Pepper.
Starting point is 01:28:45 Yeah, boil it up. Back to the Future is a great movie. Speaking of Brendan Fraser. Good series to jump into too. You want to talk about a little math? Not Back to the Future. Sorry, Blast from the Past. Oh, Blast from the Past. Have you ever seen that? No, I don't think I have. Brendan Fraser. Yeah, he's like a... I love that movie. He's in a bunker.
Starting point is 01:29:03 He's born in a fallout shelter. born in a in like a fallout shelter It's like they think the nukes are going off in the 60s So his family seals themselves in like an underground bunker and then he comes out in 1995 as like a 30 year old man Oh, that's fine. I like that blast from the past Famously in the trailer a black male lady walks by he goes my lucky stars and Negro And that's the bit that's in the trailer that's sold the film I watched that challengers on the plane to
Starting point is 01:29:34 The trailer really made it look like Zendaya was gonna get just heavy Eiffel Towered Yeah, and it did not happen bummer. I was waiting the whole movie just I wanted her I wanted them to high-five Yeah, while one was getting it on one side the other one the other side never came God, I I got pissed it. I punched this punch the screen. There's an old woman. Yeah the old woman in front like what? What? Then died and get fucking ice movie fucking bullshit. I'm sick a 24 clickbait the fucking trailer lied Yeah, my impression of that movie was I liked it a lot
Starting point is 01:30:14 But there's an inconsistency I noticed the guy says his name is Zvig at the beginning of the movie And then he doesn't pronounce it that way or nobody else does for the rest of the film. Oh, that's a that's annoying Yeah, I noticed that too's annoying. Yeah, I Notice that too. Yeah, yeah, and it's that is zvi Actor is like European that guy's awesome. He's a good actor. Yes, he's cute He's a British guy, but they probably shot that first so he goes in he's like, yeah, the name's vague Yeah, and then he's an American guy for the rest of the movie. So it's like But I that that's the only thing I remember from it. Yeah, and they don't they don't an Eiffel Tower
Starting point is 01:30:52 It's bullshit. Don't watch that movie. I'm not gonna bother don't watch that between the inconsistencies and the you know I walked out I walked out when they were like they were in there all three of them in the hotel So I assume they fucked I had to go piss Guys just kiss for like a minute and then both. It's nice to be at that age Where it's like there's a sex scene coming up. I'm like perfect time to piss yeah Watch people fuck no, thanks. Let me know when it's a cartoon. Yeah, I want it drawn Yeah, let me know when it's a robot octopus raping a babysitter. Guys, Nick, do you have a September memory that makes you nostalgic?
Starting point is 01:31:29 That's insane. There's no way that's fucking in there. Liquid IV wants to know. That's a setup. This is a setup. Talk about a September memory that makes you nostalgic. Gee, what famously happened in September? How are they going to do that to us? I don't know. that's like going to England with no free speech I feel like they've really cheapened the 9-eleven
Starting point is 01:31:51 fucking searchlights that they do every year by like with the light displays on the Empire State Building you think it's gotten budget the Empire State Building dressed up like Darth Vader a couple years ago, it's like Do we have no respect for 9-eleven at all anymore? That if we're putting on light shows for Darth Vader when Star Wars has never been worse Right, which is actually not true. They're terrible movies from the get-go Star Wars, but now there's more Yeah, yeah, I
Starting point is 01:32:26 it's any It's disrespectful also in 9-eleven Well, if we're gonna put lights up in the sky if it's just once a year and it's for the Twin Towers sure Right imagine if right next to the Holocaust Museum in Berlin or wherever it is in Germany You had the Crayola crayon factory with the live is in Germany you had the Crayola crayon factory with the live crayon imagine if they had fucking like a meat fucking Darth Vader in the gift shop at Auschwitz mm-hmm tough sell wouldn't you say this is a little people get mad at people taking smiling selfies right right you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not wrong if anything. I'm too right. Yeah, keep Vader out of Auschwitz. Yeah. Yeah Well guys, it's time for a new fall tradition
Starting point is 01:33:15 Like getting regular hydration and energy from liquid IV. Have you ever used this product? I have actually yeah, it's great It's great. Yeah, I love it is good. I've fucked myself up on the exercise bike the other day. Yeah, and I had to get my girlfriend to fix me some some liquid IV which we get for free by the way which you guys don't but we do and And no, I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital because I didn't eat all day And I rode the exercise bike and I just emaciated Well, I had like the worst headache and I was nauseous and I couldn't stand up Because I wrote it for like four and a half hours
Starting point is 01:33:50 And a lot would I be got you back? Yeah the electrolytes and the you know, I also had some peanut M&Ms I think the the glucose was the main thing but the liquid IV helped wash the peanut M&Ms down But I have it I have it with me here in my that's great well The reason Nick feels better was because the hydration multiplier Plus energy which delivers a hundred milligrams of natural caffeine plus three times the electrolytes of The leading sports drinks. Did you know that no I didn't I wish during your baseball career They had they had that my thermos is stinking. I wish during your baseball career they had they had that. My thermos is stinky
Starting point is 01:34:26 I wish I had maybe I would have gone D1 if. What's that? My thermos is stinky again The lids get they get mildew and you do you got to get them clean I didn't realize that one day you have to clean them all the fucking time and it's such a pain in the ass because if You let the water dry on them you take the gaskets off and then if you let the water dry It's just gonna get like stinky. dry, it's just gonna get like stinky Yeah, it's gonna get gross. So I have to put them I put them in the fucking broiler I take the gaskets out I wash them then I put them in the broiler to dry them for like two minutes
Starting point is 01:34:53 And then I've reassembled the make your water bottle that's just the gaskets You're the weirdest guy to dry it out fucking dumbass. You're the weirdest guy. What do you what would you do? Have a hairdryer paper towel. I don't have stuff like that paper towel doesn't do it and then you get air dry What about wipe it down? I've tried that I would do that now you use the oven. It's much faster your water bottle Well, it's also I'll be like cooking something. I'll be making a bunch of French toast wall food is in there of course And then so I pre-eat the oven while it's pretty Food is in there of course and then so I pre-eat the oven while it's pretty Yeah, and I make my frame famous breaded
Starting point is 01:35:37 Baked French toast you truly have a beautiful mind Nick. That is incredible Okay, guys, they've combined their popular peach flavor with highly requested blackberry I requested that black peach black pussy that. Black peach, black pussy, now the new flavor. Sweet black pussy. You ever seen the incense with names like that in the fucking corner store? They have them, it's like sweet black pussy sex. You just put that in there. Yeah, it's like Bangladeshi guys selling these incense
Starting point is 01:36:00 that are like, they're like, what would a real play at home boy like? What does his house do smell like and then yeah Flavors are sweet black pussy Yankee candle hasn't got onto that just mm-hmm guys this product is the best okay? Look what better endorsement than seeing me drink it Lovingly knowing how stinky this water bottle but not saving the water. Yeah, right It's because of the curry that he makes and it's stinky because I put BCAAs in there with the liquid IV sometimes And then I mix them together right and I get my I get my BCAAs and I get my electrolytes
Starting point is 01:36:41 Headaches can kiss my ass headaches can kiss my ass. The all-in-one formula provides mind and body energy plus hydration that leaves you feeling focused alert and ready to take on anything. So guys, tear, pour and live more. One stick, 16 ounce of water hydrates better than water alone. I would recommend using more water than that. Something like 46 ounces in a Yeti thermos if if you want you could do that too 16 is what they like but Nick likes do it like I like to dilute it a lot because then it's like you know It's like having like a Lacroix yeah, it's like a fun drink for a little longer. Yeah, you've got the essence right exactly Yeah, I like to feel like my shit has been a fused. I love, I love being a fused. Yeah. You get
Starting point is 01:37:29 three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, eight essential vitamins and nutrients always G non-GMO vegan, gluten free, dairy free, and soy free. So you don't grow breasts and become a woman. So start the new fall tradition with liquid IV get 20% off your first order at liquid IV When you go to liquid IV comm and use code Tafs a checkout that's 20% off your first order liquid IV comm Tafs great now we're back to the show. Awesome. Did I tell you I finally finished all those Lyndon Johnson books you did I did how does it feel? It's kind of depressing honestly you have nothing left to look forward to I don't yeah
Starting point is 01:38:10 Unless Caro writes that fifth book I know but the fourth one was kind of bullshit to be honest really he's falling off Well the fourth one it's like he lost his father. It's when he's president for through the fourth book it's is when is his his couple years as vice president and then president and It's just yeah, it doesn't move the same way the third one did I guess I mean his glory years were in the Senate, but Yeah, it's like an autobiography autobiography series Regular by our Nick Nick Nick didn't like the part where he passed the Civil Rights Act He was like this part's bullshit. Oh, yeah, I didn't say that
Starting point is 01:38:50 Wait, but they get but that's the thing it's like yeah, that is a big deal Then it's kind of you sort of going through the motions telling this story Oh, it's more like and then this happened instead of creating a world Yeah, I mean he could have probably written another five,000 pages on just his relationship with Bobby Kennedy. Yeah Did it do you like that him or no? No, they hated each other the brother. Yeah. Yeah Are you think about the brother RFK hated LBJ? They hated each other? What? What was the reason well?
Starting point is 01:39:23 What was the reason? Well, I guess like Kennedy had like a, he ran like a tight ship, you know, and his campaign it was all younger people. It was like a young, that was like the first young candidate for president. LBJ ran him against him in 1960 in like the primaries. But LBJ was also among like the liberal Democrats. There was this, I mean that was right, while the party was splitting up and the conservatives were going to the Republican party.
Starting point is 01:39:50 But the perception of him was that at his core he was still just a southern segregationist that did what. Oh, interesting. So the Kennedys put that out there about him. I don't know if they put it out there about him necessarily, but RFK was always mistrusting of L LBJ and then when he was in the administration because it was a gamble for him to take the like the math that LBJ did it's like he could stay in the Senate as as Senate Majority Leader where
Starting point is 01:40:17 he had immense power or he could take the the the vice president vice presidential nomination yeah and like as even up until Al the the vice president's vice presidential nomination yeah and like it's even up until Al Gore the vice president did nothing basically and and if he took that job then it's like maybe he has no he has no power at all and he's basically just banking on Kennedy dying wow like that's yeah he was like if you look at it, a lot of presidents have fucking died. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:48 You know, and he's like, this guy's sick all the time. You know, this seems to be my shot. Lot of them die. Yeah. It's like 45% probably. Yeah, it's a lot, yeah. No, I mean, I think it is over 10% of them that get. That just die in office or.
Starting point is 01:41:04 Yeah, or get shot and killed. Yeah. Or, yeah. Well, it's interesting that they wouldn't bring that I think it is over 10% of them that get... That just die in office or... Yeah, or get shot and killed or, yeah. Well, it's interesting that they wouldn't bring that in the campaign. It's like, that shows you the class that a presidential campaign used to have that they're like, if this was true about them, that they're, oh, we're not gonna bring this up.
Starting point is 01:41:16 We're not gonna show them that he's this person. Like immediately it would be an ad right away. The worst thing that this person's done is immediately like just downtrodden upon. It feels like there was like some gentleman gentlemanliness I don't think ever was pains back then. Oh, we would never say that about him in public Well, it's also I mean this it's like a primary race Oh between and this is like I mean some of the states had primaries, but it's mainly something you know
Starting point is 01:41:38 It's like we just saw that it's decided by the party rather than people so it was at the convention back then yeah a lot of horse trading Yeah, a lot of horses a lot of a lot of slave trade A lot of animals getting moved around. Yeah Do you think he killed Jack do I think LBJ did or or no no is Israel Come on, if it was anybody was was Israel come on dude what? Israel didn't exist until like 1996 that's true. Yeah It was a it was a dual release with Space Jam
Starting point is 01:42:17 Came up Which you mean Jews get their own country bugs in both. Yeah. Bugs came up with these. What you mean Jews get their own country bugs? It's so funny to imagine Michael Jordan having to spend like two months talking to no one in front of cameras. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:35 Just in a room being like, that's funny, Bugs Bunny. Okay, let's go again. It's an empty chair. Oh man. And then they remade it with LeBron now. I haven't seen it I didn't I saw it was it decent The first one to watch okay, the original one's not good lot of IP. It's okay for a kid. It's good. I think Maybe yeah, I think it was good for but it could a kid now watch it would a kid now give a shit about it Probably not maybe their baby. I mean it's's cartoons yeah they're probably like it his arm
Starting point is 01:43:08 stretches mmm when he does the dunk nice Lola bunny was a was a Fox yeah yeah yeah we have a buck culture now I think I think that was the start of it was people seeing that that bunny ass and now they're all it's all furries and oh yeah we were in a tits era back then yeah it's funny people are like where did furries come ass. We were in a tits era back then. Yeah, it's funny, people are like, where did furries come from? It's like, uh, Disney's portfolio. Yeah, it's from everybody wanting to fuck. Princess Jasmine? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:33 That tiger? No, there's that scene in Lion King where the lions are basically fucking each other after they get pubes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever hear that? Yeah, they're hot. And then the stalker comes back and he's like, my dick got bigger. Yeah, and all is fire.
Starting point is 01:43:42 Right, and then they're like, the lions are like making out in a pond Yeah, I'm John's playing You've never seen Only that's the first thing you've ever seen and they're like and I'm not trying to be homophobic here But probably gay guy that was like what if we had a scene like you know institute and kids will love it scene like you know Institute and kids will love it yeah yeah I mean they they really got rid of all the sexy cartoons yeah another I think Moana was the last sexy one sure I think stitch was the last sexy stitch was the last piece of ass yeah maybe monsters ain't depending on how you
Starting point is 01:44:23 swing yeah yeah I think all the cartoon characters Now we're like theater kids or maybe it's the other way around Hmm, but they all have like that like like theater kid, you know, like look It's like it's a bizarre thing where like the cartoons are bad at acting. Right. I don't understand. How did you draw somebody over? Yeah. Oh man. You have anything coming up? Anything you want to plug? Um, I'm, I'm off the road for until 2025 for the most part. I got a big show in natural woke culture. Yeah. So that's what it is. I'm waiting to see, once my man gets back in office, we'll be able to get back out.
Starting point is 01:45:07 Once the boys are back in town. I have to go the Jay Leno route, just to have cars. Yeah, as your baby. Yeah. I never liked the touch of a woman. It's when I cause. I asked CAA, I was like, can you get me in that garage? Just to meet him.
Starting point is 01:45:23 Just to meet him, hang out in the garage, have him explain things to me. Is. Okay, what do you mean? Did he say terrible? Yeah a car accident or something? Yeah. Oh, yeah, his face got burned off by gasoline Has anyone seen what he looks like now revealed a normal chin. I remember that when we were doing those monologues. There was There was some joke about his face getting burned off Then I remember liking the joke and now I can't remember what it was. He's just a chin now. He lost everything but the chin.
Starting point is 01:45:51 No, it was better than that. I'm sure it was better than that. At liquidiv.com. I feel bad for Jay. We're Jay strong. Apparently Jay Leno's face got burned off by gasoline Apparently Monica Lewinsky. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I'm a gasoline fire Man apparently everyone says the best in the biz. Oh, yeah, that's what they say. That's what they say
Starting point is 01:46:20 I mean his YouTube channels great Nick Nick has a lot of respect for his car knowledge What about sign for its his collection is like he has emotional relationship with it's mainly the way the contents produced Yeah, yeah, he fucks cars. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah should see his only fans. Have you ever fucked the Chevy Nova? That's good. The exhaust pipes that this double wide isn't only fans exhaust pipes that double wide isn't only fans where he looks like fucks the car. You ever see that documentary about those guys that fuck cars. No. There's like one guy that wears like a like one of those like Fargo hats. Poor guy. Yeah. That fucks cars. He like comes out to his dad as fucking cars. His dad's like well I wasn't around much. Better to be in game. He's, probably it's my fault. I'm
Starting point is 01:47:05 glad you're just not a fuckable daughter. At least you ain't a Chevy guy. At least you're not a fucking Kardashian. Yeah. Thank God. Anything but that. Thanks for joining us today. Man. Yeah. Thanks for having me. A lot. Good to see you. A lot of fun. We'll see you next week. Oh yeah.

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