The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Drew Dunn - Episode 73
Episode Date: September 27, 2024The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Drew Dunn - Episode 73 Checkout My Bookie: https://mybookie.website/joinwithADAM100 Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram....com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow  for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #drewdunn
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Welcome to the Adam Friedland show special guest drew done. Hey, what's up, man? Thanks for coming brother
Thanks for having me Boston Drew. Oh, yeah Boston Drew. Yeah, I was just in
Ireland the Boston of Europe. Yes. Yeah people came from yeah, you know, I'm fucking pissed at England now
Yeah, they told me about the there was no famine
There was no potato family. It was a it was a genocide. They told me about the there was no famine. There was no
potato fam. It was a it was a genocide. Oh, they just said it was potatoes. No, they say
they all the other food that was grown in Ireland, they just took and sent to England.
And they were like, and then the potatoes went bad. And so then they were like, you
can't have any of the other food that you make Wow I fucking hate England now Yeah
I mean that's kind of what their business model was across the world was
Getting there manipulate try and take over and eventually fail last go back to yeah
I'm a last all the Irish curry spices right right a poem about your fucking a beautiful Ottoman boy. Yeah, yeah
I was so lovely in there right it no, but those guys weren't writing poems. It was like the posh like raw
Yeah, yeah, it's classy to fuck a boy there. Yeah the bottom the bottom teeth are protruding further than the top teeth
Oh, yeah, let's let's have sex with a boy tonight. Oh, yeah, yeah like
Lower a flag and then kiss your but that's that's like a little boy lover goodbye
Well the British accent in the Boston action are basically the same thing yeah it is true
into my ear it's yeah it's it's pocket cat which punk you come yeah yeah
phonetically the exact when I saw boondock Saints I was like what is this
London yeah everyone thinks yeah everyone thinks everyone's always thinking
yeah thanks is a bunch of British guys there's also that old New York accent
the one that FDR had. Oh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah that it's all just getting lazy at the end of the word really. Yeah, just let it fly. Well, he had polio
Yeah, well, you know lazy polio. What's the difference? Yeah mouth polio the French don't even say the end of the word
Oh, yes, they are. They're so lazy
Yeah, why they think they're better than you too. You do not deserve to hear how we say it.
Yeah, there's a T at the end of the word and we don't say it. Yeah. Because we're so gay. You don't
get it? Please try to order at my restaurant. And you know they all speak English. Yeah, and they
just they just want to be pieces of shit. I'm mad at England right now for what they did to our people,
the Irish. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to wake up I decided I'm gonna be
Dolas all Irish. No, okay. Welcome. It's a really sad place all the young people have left
In England in in Ireland. Oh in Ireland. Yeah. Yeah. Where are they going?
Like to the UK. Yeah, they're going they would they all want to leave and did you know this?
It's the second richest country in the world by GDP per capita
Ireland Ireland is because they it's a it's a tax haven basically okay
So all of like you know like Microsoft and Apple and everything have their European headquarters in Ireland
Oh interesting so they get like because they have like soup stupid low taxes, right? So on paper they're like richer than Sweden
But but it doesn't it doesn't
The people's lives still they still believe yeah, it doesn't equate to people feeling good every day. Yeah, I loved it there
They're like you all you they're like you've gotten great weather here. They're like it just it's been raining for a year
gotten great weather here they're like it just it's been raining for a year
first sunshine we've had in a year you wonder why the young people are leaving yeah well there's just no jobs and no housing they said oh interesting yeah
yeah that seems to be a problem across the board in a lot of places though with
the housing it seems like nobody's able to just buy land you seen that Instagram
thing where there's like Asian women in the jungle
that'll build a house out of clay?
Yeah.
It's water powered?
Yeah.
I watch all of them.
Well, it's this fantasy world people live in now
where they're like, we could have this.
And it's like, first of all, that's probably fake.
They're highly produced by the CCP.
Yeah.
No, no, they found out that the government makes those.
Yeah.
Oh, they just go in and do a construction and then make it look like rural Chinese life is great. To make it look like a crash Bandicoot house. They found out that the government makes those
To make it look like
Have like yeah make it made out of and then everything's water powered
Yeah, a stream that goes through and it's like turns the lights and it's always kind of a hot girl to do it
Yeah, that's the image you want to paint yourself. There's you're not out there by yourself There's one named Lee Zki that I kind of had a crush on a little bit
She was a DJ in the city and then she went back to her village to take care of her grandma Wow
Yeah
And what could you live that like that if could you live in like a water-powered?
House in the forest for a while or do you feel like you'd lose your fucking China in China or anywhere?
I mean could you do it out in the upstate New York and prospect Park? There's probably bugs and so I don't like
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be the biggest problem. Yeah other than having a place to shit and piss and drink and
Friends, they don't have any place to shit. That is true. Yeah. Yeah, you got a shit on the right side of your house
You don't fuck up the powering of your lights
Did see you never tell you that story about Sean in the airport and in China
They have their toilets are like they have the hole on the ground
Yeah, where you squat which is apparently better for shitting, but he didn't know how to use it. So we did it standing up
Really got poo on his legs and then and then the the flight was boarding it is
And then the the flight was boarding it is
Okay Shout out to our friend who I just
Shamed and public how's Irvine Nick? I heard it was a smash hit
Who's fun? Yeah the spectrum center mm-hmm?
They spectrum center they have like a it's it's a
clap like a it's it's a clap like a perfect
Example of a mid-tier mall, so it's not like the
Like luxury brand. It's not like Gucci and stuff. They have like zoomies
Pac-son yeah, yeah, I'm in there H&M. Yeah. Yeah all the best stores. Yeah, it's a good stuff
I went to lids in that mall and
And bought a fitted and then lost it on the plane. I was very upset, but I got taffs
embroidered on a on a Yankee fitted
Yeah, and I didn't know I didn't know about that plane you're lucky you lost that hat
Want to get the word out about the show?
You lost that hat. I want to get the word out about the show
Can you cuz you know people would have seen that and not said anything you just taking pictures and be like you gotta be fucking Yeah, I think people would have been like that. Where can I get one?
Yeah, right then we could have done a deal with new air. You can get them at lids
Yeah, go to lids and just the name of your In the same way you read the name of your Mexican baby that died, you can get the name of a TV show.
And pretend like there's any kind of relationship between the New York Yankees and the Adam Frieden show.
You can get a name of a talk show that's done five brilliant episodes on YouTube.com.
Right. Who wouldn't want that?
Yeah.
Well, how do you feel right now with me wearing this?
I don't feel bad about it.
If it was like probably 2004, we'd have a conversation about it. I'm sure you'd hate me just as much for wearing this. I don't feel bad about it. Really? If it was like probably 2004, we'd
have a conversation about it.
I'm sure you'd hate me just as much for wearing this.
I'm not a Yankee fan at all.
I do it for style.
Yeah, I feel like the
It's more of like a Spike Lee thing.
Yeah, more of a like honoring.
It's a hove.
It's a Jay-Z.
Am I imagining?
Did it happen for real that he got
like territorial about the red Yankees hat?
With Fred Durst?
Yeah. Because he's like territorial about the red Yankees had with Fred Durst. Yeah
Cuz he's like I invented that or like
Like you can't take that that's my look yeah
You stole it from yeah, he lives in Fort Greene. I see him walking around. Well, that's like his neighborhood
Yeah, he's like five one, you know also who also lives in Fort Greene is
The only I've seen why I saw Wyatt Sennick there, but I see him walking around. He's not really a celebrity but yeah Fisher Stevens
Who is on that show Succession? He's a guy with the tiny neck. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I saw him there
Oh, he's like the PR guy. He's the lawyer or one of them
Yeah, he has like a he has like a strange neck. It's bizarre bizarre neck. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, it's weird to get an acting role when you're like, it's so jarring
It's it's trying to look at that guy what didn't use to be much everyone on succession is ridiculous
He is pretty much to look at them is I can't I can't look at anyone
Yeah, he's something he's had a long career that guy's been in a bunch of shit really yeah, he was in hackers
Okay, he here's my here's the credits of his I know he was in hackers, and I think he directed John Leguizamo's documentary
John Leguizamo's like the Latino clown documentary yeah,, which is great. Smash it. John was almost great
John like was I'm I did like an hour at like the Orpheum or something. Oh really?
He's like yeah get back in the stand-up. I want to do stand-up again, and it's great
Yeah
Wait, so it's like a comedy special
Sort of but it's a documentary about him doing it
He's the man yeah the
pest was one of my favorite movies as a kid I don't think I ever saw the you
you're not a film head no I'm not a film not a film head pretty cool pretty cool
movie if you're the most annoying ten-year-old in the world okay which I
was okay cool yeah he yeah there's a scene where he's in the shower and farting at say it's It's done. I think so. Yeah, yeah
Criterion collection right John Rick. He's in John Wick. He's in John Wick Fisher. No John Leguizamo
Who do who's the way he plays the guy that owns the chop shop?
In the very beginning
Okay, like do you know whose fucking car this is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You bunch my son.
Listen, I work with your father, all right?
That guy. Okay.
Yeah. I work with you.
I work with your father, all right?
Have you ever, did you ever go to the late
Court Street Cinema in Brooklyn?
No. It's closed now.
It's closed now? It's closed now, unfortunately.
Oh, that's a shame.
But it was like always chaos at that theater. No, it's not true. It was very quiet. It was nice
I saw Top Gun Maverick there
I saw I saw John wick 3 there and there was a lady in front of me with like eight Tupperwares and
The he heals Bobon from the NBA. That's the first kill. Yeah, she goes she goes. Okay, Neo
And then Laurence Fishburne shows up and she goes she goes okay Neo and then and then Lawrence Fishburn shows
up and she goes oh and they got Murphy's just with a full Thanksgiving dinner
and yeah she had like 12 stuff that lady was awesome that's hilarious they got
Murphy's yeah that's great no I never went up there I only moved to New York
in 2021 so I kind of missed a lot of that post COVID.
What's up? You're in Queens. There's been no reason to go to Brooklyn.
You go to court. Exactly.
Twenty twenty one. I know.
Moving into a fun shitty theater over by there.
They had like that United Artists in Astoria.
No, by Court Street, by that neighborhood on the other side of Atlantic.
Where was that? In Cobble Hill? In Cobble Hill, yeah. I don't remember that one at all. Next to Barnes and Noble. No, that was Court Street. No, Court Street is on Court Street and it's like off of Atlantic.
South of Atlantic. But wasn't it across from Barnes and Noble's? This is good podcast. This is great. Yeah, it was it was further down. It was further down court
It was a small theater. Oh
I don't remember that one at all. I think what street was all I'm thinking of Cabo Hill cinemas that one
I've been to yeah, that's a small one. It's all okay. So courts. It's a court Street UA. That was the UA
Okay. Yeah
But they closed it because of that theater sucked. It was a it was a disaster
Yeah, theater. Yeah people got bit. Well, you got bed bugs at the Union Square Regal. Yeah
Yeah, yeah at the theater you got you went home with bed bugs. That's insane
I
Was listening that one's still open. That's the is the regal still in my get I get it
I think bed bugs when you get bed bugs you probably and this is like New York ten years ago
You've had him 15 fucking times. They've destroyed your life and all your relationships. You're like fucking I'm gonna go see the mr. Rogers documentary
I got nothing else. Yeah, go see Tom Hanks put on a show. No, that's the movie
I didn't see that one. There was a mr. Rogers documentary that came out like oh really?
Yeah, yeah, it made me cry. Oh wow. I saw it on a play. I cry every movie on a plane
Yeah, it is weird when you're on a plane. You can really let yourself get into it. They say it's something about the cabin pressure
And your tear ducts and that you're not gay if you do yeah, they say it's not
Watch a movie on an airplane
I don't think I thought that's the only time I watch the patience to watch a movie on an airplane.
I thought that's the only time I watch a plane. I watch a movie is when I'm on an airplane.
I watch all the Marvels.
I bring the Kindle and then half the time I forget to download something new.
And then I end up like rereading some PDF that I've had on the cookbook
I forgot to get a new book before I get on the plane I
Was listening to local New York sports radio a couple months ago and people were talking about Yankee hats and Boston hats Yeah, and the guy I forgot who it was maybe mad dog
There's one one of them the mad dogs not at WFAN anymore
Whoever whoever it was he was like you would have to be fucking crazy
To wear a Yankee hat at family park. He's like you're not coming out alive
Yeah, there was a time when I were a Yankee not urban
There was a period of time where I was growing up where it felt like every week there was something on the news
That would definitely not fly Not urban there was a period of time where I was growing up where it felt like every week There was something on the new
That would definitely not fly and then and then you go why what
They really have missed the job market these you know the new era and the
Fanatics that's a whole new world now. I mean, this is they really could the new America everyone's watching a patch from the the World Series
Yeah, yeah, there's so much more real estate. There was a period in time where you get killed at Fenway Park
Yeah, there was a lot of sucker punches. There was a lot of sucker punches
I remember growing up where people be like yeah guy in a Yankee said got punched in the face today out of nowhere
And everyone was like yeah, that's what you fucking get that's what you do
what's what you see a guy we don't like wearing a different color we punch him in
the fucking face what's the problem that's pimped yeah bad I'm doing it for
fucking Ben Affleck this one's for Ted Williams this one's for Matt Damon this
one's for Jastremski yeah this one's for Kevin Euclid's what's for the uke greatest
hitter of all time were you disappointed when you found out he was Jewish no I
didn't have I heard it was a tragedy in Boston I heard people didn't leave their
bedrooms for weeks it was it was tough but you know he was always a utility
player so it made sense oh yeah now you're downgrading a one of the best red
socks well he started off as a guy who played like six different positions and then finally found his spot
Where he was at and then yeah, and then he became the guy everyone knew but for a while he was
I don't even think he's Jewish is he it's a Greek enough. No, he's Greek. Is he Greek? Yeah you yeah, it's yeah a uke
halkeus
Kevin the halkeus given how key he was a third baseman. Yeah, I like that guy
Yeah, he played outfield for a little bit too. Then he was a DH for a couple years. I love remembering guys
Yeah, it's a bit. I'm a big fan of that when I was in the UK
My dad called me angry at me that I didn't call him to congratulate him on Shohei's
5050 season
Congratulate him. Yeah, you know an international phone call yeah my dad
was like why didn't you call me about it yeah I was like I haven't watched
baseball in six years dad uh-huh yeah yeah I mean this is apparently it is the
best baseball player of all time yeah he's he's doing something special I mean
he's he's one of the first guys to be able to pitch and hit like play both
sides of the ball in a long time a breathe yeah. Yeah, because I think a lot of that was,
there's probably a lot of guys that could,
but a lot of teams just, they invest so much money
in their pitchers now that they don't want to have a chance
of anybody getting hurt that they're like,
this is a $10 million arm, why would we go, you know,
have him hit by a ball?
But if you're Japanese, you're built to die.
It's true.
Yeah, all in.
How's your career, get a 50-50 season?
I mean, that's what they're good at is dying. Yeah they were
one of the best especially for a period of time they really leaned. They're still
doing it I mean they killed themselves like nobody's business over there. They
love killing themselves. They just like it's like never fuck like they're
committed yeah something like 30 40 percent of Japanese men have never had
sex. Wow yeah is that partly just because of the it's because they jack off the drawings
I mean, it's like the Occam's razor. I'm child porn all of their pornography is all the regular pornography
They censor the pussy so they don't even know what's happening. Yeah, it's like a two cartoon characters getting into a fight
Yeah, you know, yeah, it's the cloud of smoke
Meanwhile on sign
know yeah just a cloud of smoke arms there's like a meanwhile on sign question mark meanwhile the the animated pornography you see everything uh-huh you
know it's a fifth grader getting raped by an octopus yeah and that's a robot by
the imagination and yeah yeah you can really get into the deep and if you're
jacking off to that all day and then some like Japanese lady is like oh maybe
I clean your apartment you're like you know I think I'm just gonna jack off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have these drawings.
Yeah, yeah.
You're one of those weird ones
with the teeth and the freckles.
Yeah, if you've seen only a drawn pussy your whole life,
to see a real one would be pretty jarring.
Yeah, right.
A huge disappointment.
You're like, this is more disgusting than the octopus.
Yeah.
It smells like shit.
Where's the ink?
I thought the gross part would be the tentacles not your weird meat flap
Yeah, it's funny when people try and say it's like oh it's because of the war and their culture getting fucked up during the occupation
And stuff they say that's why anime came along. No, that's why their culture is so population spiral
No, I feel like that's I know it's shame and honor off the cartoons
Yeah, yeah, what's weird because it is such an honor driven society still
That's why I feel like a lot of people work so hard and when they don't reach that peak
That's why the suicide thing the honor thing but the honor thing is not so like if your neighbor kills somebody if you have like a neighbor
That's a murderer. You have to kill yourself. I think
No, it's deeply disrespectful if you're,
some guy who picks up his mail next to you killed somebody.
It brings shame to your neighborhood and all that stuff.
Yeah, off yourself, off him.
There was a serial killer, I think in the 80s in Tokyo,
and they didn't know how to investigate murder
just because it wasn't
he was a Korean guy that was like living oh wow they were like we have no idea
how to even look into this yeah right well and to just try and find somebody
on the street out there it's gonna be right exactly imagine that police line
up yeah you're like it's either five or all of the usual suspects. They're like, uh, that's a picture of you.
Yeah.
You're looking at a picture of yourself.
Yeah.
And you are-
That's the guy that did it.
That's right.
Are you a NFL fan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys got Brady, you got Moroni, Lawrence, Ben Jarvis, Green Ellis.
How are you feeling about this squad this year?
I think that we have a chance to maybe get to 500 and yeah, that's about it.
I don't see us winning.
Patriots guy?
Isn't that?
Yeah, I thought the Patriots were like the best team.
No, Brady's out.
Brady's not there anymore.
Brady's gone.
Brady went to the Bucs a couple years ago.
Now he's retired. Now he's not there. He's gone Brady went to the Bucs a couple years ago. Now. He's retired now He's doing commentary. Yeah, he's making movies. We got old women. They want to fuck him, right? Oh, yeah
Oh 80 for Brady 80 for Brady. Did you actually see that movie? It's hilarious
No, you watch that. Yeah, that'd be a perfect playing movie. That is a plane movie
Wait, so they what do the old ladies do they go to like they're like one of us is gonna
It's like American Pie is like by the end of this year one of us fucks Tom Brady. It's one of them has cancer
It's like Jane Fonda has cancer and who and she gets into watching the TV gets stuck
Like the TV won't change channels and they end up watching a football game and they get horny for the players and
Then one of them gets cancer. No, it's it's not Jane Fonda it's Lily
Tomlin Tomlin yeah she gets cancer and then she's like I just want to see I
just want to see the Super Bowl before I die right and then she pretends like
she won tickets but she never won them she just bought them she likes older
car and then they they go and then, you know,
I mean, then the whole thing is they're there and they have one of them ends up
in a poker game by accident and it's strip poker. Sounds funny.
One of them wins a chicken wing eating contest. It's like, you know,
it's like girls trip, but for old bitches trying to fuck Tom. Yeah.
For women. But then he produced it, I think. That's, that's weird. You know, he was like, how about a movie where old women want to fuck Tom. Yeah for women, but then he produced it. I think that's that's weird
You know he was like how about a movie where old women want to fuck me
And he sexed them he was like a Weinstein during the casting that makes it would have been a lot of the original script
It was Japanese men. It was for Japanese
fuck Tom Brady ties around their
Big night out and it's for Japanese businessmen.
And if you're into that, you'll love my bookie.
It's sort of got retooled a bit.
Yeah, right.
Notes and rewrites guys.
NFL football 2024 2025 season.
It's huge this year.
Oh yeah.
How's the league been this year?
I mean, it's been, it's exciting.
A lot of exciting, a lot of fun stuff, a lot's been it's exciting lot of exciting a lot of fun stuff a lot of new players a lot of
Teams winning that normally don't it's fun
You said you said that about that would be a perfect play movie and now I'm thinking it's like did I watch that on a
Plane you had to have that's the only time I've seen that movie is when I'm swiping through. Yeah. Yeah
It's interesting cuz yeah my head I can't remember a time
I remember the only thing I ever remember watching on a plane is like two episodes of madmen and now I'm thinking maybe I did
Watch 80 for Brady got sick of reading that cookbook and had to get into the
I fly Americans. So there's never a screen right, right? It's it's for readers. It's a reader's area. It's an intellect
It's America's original book. They're like, would you like another Diet Coke? I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm reading my recipe book.
Yeah.
Instead of headphones, they give you night lights.
I'm looking at receipts that I compiled into a PDF.
At MyBookie.com, we want you to deposit and bet
on this season of the NFL with MyBookie.
And do it with us, because Nick and I
have been throwing heavy money.
We've been hammering bets and a big problem
I think is we had the same promo code for years. They change it on us
It's now Adam 100, which is the most awesome one I can imagine. Yeah
Speaking of which I got free no jumper merch this weekend. No you didn't somebody brought to me. That's fine
Yeah, would you get works at no jumper brought me a shirt, a NoJumper shirt.
Oh, I've emailed with that guy. I asked him, I said, is there anybody that works there that has a name? That has a real name?
Or is it all, you know, like Bobo and...
Yeah, no, it's like none of them are, there's not a single guy that's named like chip John
Yeah, you know I was talking to John from no jumper the other day. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't exist
Yeah, they all have like Halloween
You know the thing about betting right is it amplifies your NFL watching experience?
Yeah, right if I'm watching two teams
I don't care about right you put five bucks on a couple bucks on it you all sudden you're invested you're
excited Jacksonville versus Cleveland but you got a little action on it right
I'm watching that fourth quarter totally I'm shouting at the TV yeah yeah I'm
saying this is how I win right I'm turning to my girlfriend be like you know
where that's from yeah and she's concerned but I'm like tell me the fucking
movie you know right and she's like, but. I'm like, tell me the fucking movie that. You know?
Right.
And she's like, shut up, Adam.
Yeah.
My parents are here right now.
Right.
You're drunk.
You're watching Red.
This season they did what, 10 games at once?
Something like that, yeah.
Red Zone.
Red Zone.
Have you ever watched Red Zone?
Did they schedule it that way to try and drive sales
for Red Zone or something?
I think so
I think they want you to feel like you if you're a person who's doing
Fantasy or you're betting a lot like you have to watch this to get all the action and do you have a fantasy team?
No, I didn't do fantasy this year. I I've done it for years. I I had to quit. I had a problem
Yeah, I got too into it. Were you winning or losing? I was so good. Yeah, I was amazing. I should be a GM. I literally should. I should be the
commissioner of the National Football League.
With that that good, you should be able to play some winning bets then. Yeah.
Absolutely. That's a great idea. Yeah. And where you And you could do it at my bookie dot-com put the link in the description
We will put the link in the description like join with Adam or something. It's different than the promo code
I don't understand why somehow that's our fault, but join with Adam. Yeah
The promo code itself is Adam
Like they're holding my hand.
Come on.
Yes, okay guys.
You can use the platform.
Yeah, it is a very Christian link.
What's that?
It is a very Christian link.
Join with Adam.
It comes with a brochure, more information.
The lady you think you can fuck but you can't.
I had a group of friends I had a group
of friends that like all got the finance jobs out of college yeah and so they
were making like two hundred thousand dollars at like 23 right they had this
like huge apartment in the West Village only one thing on the wall was a pulp
fiction like framed movie poster yeah Adams made in front of them at the same
age Adam the only thing he owned was a half-baked movie, right? I didn't own it. I stole it. Yeah
I stole it from John F. O'Donnell. You can get it back anytime you want John
Oh art was given to you by their max or me remember that piece of garbage
I brought to your apartment with the helicopter and the Lamborghini on it. Yeah, it was really nice. Yeah
All my art. No, that's not true
Here we go. That's not true. God. No, I buy paintings now
No, what happens is you move in with your girlfriend?
You're like I have art and then it's all framed movie posters from like Japan, right? You're like, this is cool
Yes, like it's not I have like two paintings
I bought from some mentally ill woman on Instagram that draws like Sonic fuck
Oh someone gave me a painting of you in London. I have to give it to you
That's I mean people bring me stuff like that
It's sitting sitting in like an art bag in my apartment because I'm not gonna like put up a drawing of me
Yeah, that'd be weird if I walked in your living room and it was eight different pieces of your face
I'd be like this man is large and in charge
pieces of your face
I'd be like this man is large and in charge
It's also too it's like people will draw people bring me art that they've done and they've drawn a picture of me But it's a picture that's like a public picture, right? That's like one of the ten photos that gets put on the internet
Yeah, yeah, and so it's like lacking any intimacy of portraiture, right?
You know what I mean? So it's because it's like certainly
Certainly, no, I don't I go. Thank you so much. Oh these psychos that I think this is lacking the intimacy of Porsche
Anyway, yeah those finance guys
I knew I'm just saying it'd be very bizarre for me to put up a painting of one of my Instagram posts, right?
That's a thing you like by that's a thing you're like aunt gets tricked into buying. Yeah. Yeah, that's like a wish's a thing you like buy. That's a thing your aunt gets tricked into buying.
Yeah. Yeah. That's like a wish.
Yeah. And she's like, and it's also a clock.
Yeah. You know.
Yeah. So they used to watch Red Zone 1 p.m.
games and just start doing blow.
And I went to their house one day and it was
the most psychotic experience in my entire life.
It's like they're still on the trading floor. Right. But there are 10 games. house one day and it was the most psychotic experience in my entire life.
It's like they're still on the trading floor.
But there are 10 games.
You can't pay attention to a single game.
No, it's insane.
It's so, it is the most disorienting thing in the world is watching NFL red zone.
Yeah.
It's ADHD times the NFL.
It drives you insane.
Yeah.
And these guys just blow rails, hammer beds. Coolest guys guys I know they're good guys. Shout out to them. Anyway guys
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our show and we're back. Great. Good to be here. So you got anything?
I feel about the weather today. Kind of shitty, huh? I like that. It's getting colder
I like that. It's getting colder, but I wish it wasn't so gray. Yeah, the gray stuff
I like a little sunshine, but but I don't want to be sweating leaves aren't there yet. You know right right?
Yeah, it seems like I brought London back
Yeah, the shows were really good guys I want to thank everyone that came out to the London shows. Seems like people like me the best in a place where the standup
is the worst. That's great. Yeah, I really appreciate everyone for coming yeah manager expectations I did my I did my one-man fringe set are you doing are
you doing that realizing I have micro penis right I went to Edinburgh five
stars in the Guardian yeah yeah micro penis in me micro penis and I oh no I
sorry sorry I know it's proper English British yeah yeah
micro with an OU no but it was nice I saw Sam Campbell it's good to see my
crew my crew penis yeah yeah I saw Sam Campbell's really nice shout out to Sam
great guy very good set everyone in that open was fantastic and thank you to
everyone who came to the show especially the lady that gave me a portrait of Nick
And then walked away and said also that she's right-wing so
That was cool. It's right wing and British. I don't might be left-wing here. Oh, it goes the other way. I'm not sure that's Australia
What does that mean though you like hate Pakistani people they had a race war recently sort of oh
I watched that they just tried to start a Fox News g
GbTV as I saw that I saw every show they had these race rides
But the race riots are like somebody fucking kicking a soccer ball in a fucking store
Well, they actually did say to me, they were like.
It's like they will never, like Kyle Rittenhouse just like crushes all of Europe.
Yeah, they don't have the real rage inside of them.
They don't have, yeah, it's not, it's nowhere near close.
Like there's a picture of like one storefront that's like smashed up or there's some paint on it.
Yeah, and then there's people repairing it the next day.
They raise our taxes, yeah, fucking everything's getting looted, right?
You know what I mean? It's a they don't that's nothing compared to you. I don't think we don't loot at all though
They like like going to the street like it's lame is a rock. Actually France does that France is really a protest
But us like I feel oh, I guess Gaza they were like for the first time big I'm gonna start looting for Gaza
I like that
Yeah, right fuck Israel, where are the Jordans?
I'm at the Apple store. I got iPhone 15. Yeah
Anything to help the situation over there. Yeah, I feel like I missed a lot the pager thing happened while I was gone
into a whole
About lithium ion batteries the pager things is crazy. Yeah, it's nuts
I almost got I almost went back to Z on but let's hold on I need to
Know your house is Phil you got all these fucking devices that have lithium ion batteries
Yeah, can just explode whatever just at any point whenever they want
I had a fucking I had an old Macbook like ten years ago and the battery like fucking it like blew up
Inside the laptop yeah, I would just keep using it hot laptop
Yeah, and I never thought that that was a bomb, but apparently it is not to say that that's what happened to the pagers
How they do it was it like a remote detonator? I think they just they like
Somewhere intercepted a shipment and added explosives to the to the pagers
Yeah, then they just sold them to everybody at like some discounted rate with
No problem no problem explode for you great. That's where Russian do yeah, what's on it's really offensive
I'll go a little more No explode for you. Great, that's more Russian, dude. Yeah, what's on? It's really offensive, actually.
I'll go a little more.
You say ever?
Yeah, yeah, sorry.
It's so funny for Israelis to sell shitty appliances.
It's so them.
It's so like mall kiosk of them.
Yeah, it's very much like bark them in,
get it on their hip, and then yeah.
They love selling the cosmetics at malls
Like in the kiosk. Have you ever been to the Dead Sea? Come here. Come come come here. Here's a page
Oh, very soft 40 skin, but it's also cool that that has bullet was using pagers to yeah throwback
It's a it's very like trickle-down economics working globally like you whatever tech
We had 20 years ago ends up in some country somewhere at some time wait, so you're afraid of batteries now
Yeah, they can just blow the fuck up. Well, that was an issue when
When like this new thing of smart ones came out it was happening on planes
We have one here in the office or the screw gun and I think about that. I'm like what the fuck
What if that just blew up? Well, there was a point where this whenever you drill
Your Dewalt is gonna yeah, the batteries are real gets hold of they're like bombs
Like it's random occasionally. They'll just fail and they're short-circuit internally and then it's like like a thermite bomb
They just like start cooking off at like 3,000 degrees. Yeah that was happened on planes
There was a whenever some first Samsung phone came out
They were using that new type of battery and it wasn't ready for the pressure
There's a great joke about that Ninans classic. Yeah, that's waiting into his sorry. I didn't want to step on his toes
Yeah, come on. You're selling nine is yeah. Yeah, I was I just lasted on the way in I heard the
Hezbollah's pagers exploded good thing they weren't using the new Samsung Galaxy Note s3
Yeah, they would do this bit and then he
would have a Canadian accent whenever he said Samsung Galaxy. I've been off his
radar for like a decade now that's probably gonna get me back on. Is he
cooking still? Probably and he's got to be like 42 years old now at this point.
He's the best. Ten years ago he was 30 he was 32 Yeah, wow fascinating. He would like he would do this thing where he would um
There's like websites like maybe as in muck rack is one of them
There's a place for like people that are freelance
You know they have like freelancing contracts with I don't know if AP does freelancing
But if you want to write for like business insider or something, okay?
You can just submit you they'll pay you 200 bucks
and you just write an article about something
business related if they can get eyes on it.
And if you're that kind of freelance journalist
and you don't have any insight into anything,
you can go to these websites and people will be like,
you can interview me, I own a lemonade stand in Illinois.
And he would go on there and he would fucking get
journalists to write about him. And then he would tell on there and he would you know like fucking like get journalists the right about him
And then he would tell them he's you know, you know millennial comedian, you know, ten years ago. This was a thing, right?
I mean he was like 57 years old and then he would get them to publish it
He was like 27 and then he would manage them and but it's also it's like it doesn't matter
You're an Indian man who does comedy. It's not like was half Indian
People aren't gonna be like sorry touch shit
They will yeah
No, your age isn't hurting you in any way
No exactly they just want your perspective in fact to be like in good shape and active and athletic at 57. That's like more
It's more endearing. Yes. Yeah, it's like if people were like, oh this guy's like, yeah, he looks pretty good for
Yeah, it's like if people were like oh this guy's like yeah, he looks pretty good for so good Yeah, yeah, he was an active guy I remember one time we got into it and he sent me a video of him rollerblading downstairs backwards
It's hard to like to like prove how cool you are. It's all Parkers. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah
It's that's not easy. I know it's not easy, but it's the game. It's the gayest flex of all time
Oh, totally the gayest flex of all time totally totally gay's brag of all time
Think you're gonna be cool as you're strapping on roller blades to impress you for that's a tough look. That's a bleeding
Yeah, but it was so funny cuz he would just like he would he would he had an enemies list and you'd be put on
His like enemies newsletter basically. Oh, wow, if you even just like said the things that he did and laughed about it
Wow, so we're getting on the list right now. I don't know still a G list
Yeah, I think he might be like done with all that. Yeah, you know cuz I think maybe it blew up at one point
I think he's done very well. Probably I think he was already doing well prior to that
I think he had like a corporate job and made a bunch of money and understood how like corporate event booking works or something
But Joe Robinson told me because Joe Robinson was like the first guy that was on his enemies list
I think and Joe Robinson met him he was like hosting like a Kurt Shackelford show
Shout out.
And he told Joe, he's like, I make $300,000 a year doing stand up.
He's like, well then why are you making $5 tonight?
Right, right.
At Rerog.
Yeah, why are you doing a bar in Clarendon?
And so I guess Joe blogged about him or something, but then yeah, he would like go after Joe and
you know criticize Joe all the time and stuff.
And then JL, JL Coven, that was the other guy that was big.
Yeah, yeah.
It was JL Coven, Joe Robinson and Josh Homer were like Dan's...
The axis of evil.
Yeah, Dan's top three.
Yeah, yeah.
His shit list. That top three. Yeah. Yeah, she's shitless
Yeah, once you start writing lists, you're rarely in the room There's this guy the guy Nick just mentioned Kurt Shackelford was a booker in DC
Okay, who had like a 25 page list of rules and they're like no do rags no sagging pants
Yeah, no basketball or athletic jerseys
Just like all things it was all the rules that came up with after segregation
And it was all in comic sans to the funny font. Yeah
Yeah, and he had a stop light. No regular light
He had this giant stop light that he would set up and he always had an assistant that would work the stop light
He's also a very nice guy Kurt
Yeah
Kurt and his and his shows were good
His shows were good his shows were good, and he put on a good show and he also didn't actually enforce those rules
It was like yeah, I came dressed in it. I was FUBU everything
For civil rights I'm a Kurt Shackelford
Apologist yeah, I can't believe you like I feel like I was a dick he only made those rules
Because he thought well you're supposed to have rules
He was just trying to create an air of legitimacy rather than be any kind of
Authoritarian in that situation because I never saw him enforce them
He wanted the show to be pro if if those rules were real Sonny Fuller would have never done
You know what I mean, and he would he would book everybody. Uh-huh. You know, yeah
Yeah, no do rags no sports jerseys, that's just fun. I was wearing woo wear and
Niche, yeah, of course. Yeah, what was the one with the Rhino?
Mark Echo Echo. Yeah, yeah that guy had a crazy career
What what was his deal? I thought, I always assumed that he was a businessman that got into that, but no, he's just a white guy that liked graffiti or something, and then he was like, what if I made clothes?
I always thought it was the black guy from Shark Tank. No. What did Damon own? Fubu was it? It was the Cosby sweater line. It was like sweaty foo foo boo. No, that's kooji
Kooji come on. I thought that was pussy. You're from Boston. You know nothing about the culture. No, I don't
Specifically was taught not to it was so funny when I was there. I was like, it's a city. I was like
Like where the black people and they're like, oh we keep them in a neighborhood called Jamaica. Yeah
Yeah, that's where I was born
Jamaica plane. Oh
Really? Yeah, you know the that rock called Jamaica
In New York like Jamaica and Queen yeah, yeah, it's Indian is well that yeah
The name is not it has nothing to do with the island really it's a Native American word
That just happens to sound exactly like Jamaica. Yeah
It's a weird neighborhood. Have you been out there before?
Only to like transfer on the long long island railroad. Yeah, but it's it's bizarre out there
Which I love that whenever you can catch you get the LIR from JFK if you go to Bed-Stuy
Yeah, you can get on that train and it's just two stops
so they won't check your ticket.
Sometimes they do, but it's like a free trip.
That's great.
Free trip to Jamaica.
And it saves a bunch of time
to go from like JFK to Nostrin.
Yeah, it's very fast.
Also there's a bar at the Jamaica train station.
Oh, right.
Yeah, I've had a couple white claws there before that's good yeah
go a little fuck I felt like a business traveler yeah have you been to the white
w a hotel I did right before I went to Ireland for the first time okay yeah
what did you think gorgeous yeah yeah stunning the other one is and it's
unfortunate because it's now a spirit Airlines terminal but the terminal one
at LaGuardia yeah the, the Marine Aviation Terminal.
It is the weirdest place in New York.
Well, it's a terminal from the 1930s.
Oh, and it's still like locked in time?
It's this round Art Deco building,
and it was for the Boeing Clippers
that Pan Am used to run across the Atlantic.
Okay.
So they used to, before, in the 30s. They didn't have like big jetliners
Mainly because they didn't want to you know
You have to pour shit ton of fucking concrete for the runways and concretes aren't like
Runways aren't it's not like a road. It has to be the grade has to be like fucking perfect. There can't be any imperfections
Yeah, so it's a big cost so didn't have those so like to like that was the main reason that that flying boats were ideal for
Transatlantic travel, okay, but then they had to build all those runways for World War two anyways, right?
So now they're here. So using yeah, and then those those boat planes are actually not particularly safe
Like the ones that just like land
on the water like the ones from the 30s like the you know the flying yeah the
actual yeah yeah so but they used to have yeah these be it's spirit airways
and Boston flights too they go out yeah the ones that go to like Cape Cod and
Boston terminal still there but terminal a yeah used to just be for pain and I go to LaGuardia a lot but I've never been. Apparently
you're a megabus guy. Yeah. You got to take that flight. It's awesome. Okay. Cool. I'll
check it out. Yeah. But it feels like you're in Ohio in like a regional airport. That's
fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's like murals of like like Charles Lindbergh looking ass motherfuckers. That's why I like getting like locked back in time like that
You're just walking through it because there's a few like even subway stations in New York that feel like that
Your oldest shit, you know building I love anytime I go to fill I take the amp track that 30th Street station
Oh, yeah, that's a gorgeous building
Yeah on the east or west side, huh on the other side of the shakel yeah
yeah it's nice there what's your favorite train my favorite train probably
the end train controversial choice you're just coming here trying to make
you know I'm trying to make hot clips dude yeah I want to apologize to also
someone I read a DM as I was flying back to America
but it was a guy who's a driver for the tube for the London Underground and he offered me a ride along and
I didn't see it when I was there, but I would have done it. That sounds awesome
Do you mean just taking the subway? I don't know
in the conductor Okay, I'll be in the conductor Do you mean just taking the subway? I don't know, what do you mean ride along?
In the conductor, I'd be in the,
Oh, okay.
I'd be in the conductor area.
It's public transport.
Imagine a bus driver being like, how about a ride along?
Really?
It's like a kid that gets to meet the pilot
and get the wings.
But I get to do it on a train, on a subway train.
Subway tube, fucking pin.
It's so cool. Yeah yeah so this is the mechanism all
you should start and go and that's about it I can't believe that the you've
heard about that autistic black guy that that breaks into all the trains and
pretends to be an operator here in New York he's been arrested like seven times
so he'll he'll he's autistic and he'll like disguise himself as an MTA worker get on the train and then run the usual route
Why don't they just hire him? I because that's perfectly too. I had an announcement today
They were hiring I'm like just bring the guy in if he wants the job that black
Is kind of its own spell using Riker a new part of the spectrum
There was a guy there was a black autistic guy in Florida that was pretending that dog BG Why I love that kid that makes sense to pretend to be yeah
No, I haven't heard of this there's a dude pretending to be there's like a 14 year old who's like got a lab coat
People use a pussy doctor
Honestly is the coolest kid. That's what you pretend to be when that's a good like going to hospitals and telling people he was a pussy doctor. Honestly, he's the
coolest kid I've ever met. That's what you pretend to be, Wendell. That's a good autism
right there. It's crazy with all the security and like, you know, like you're constantly
surveilled and all of these things. So much of, like you can do anything if you have the
right uniform and a badge that looks even somewhat real. Totally. Especially in a hospital.
There's so many people coming and going you show up in scrub fucking
You can just dress up like a pilot and walk anywhere the fuck you want. Yeah. Yeah
Well, at least the airport you have to have a badge feels like in the hospitals They don't check them you see I mean you guys you TSA you see people especially the JFK. Yeah
It's like there's a million employees. It's the lady that's like I work at Dunkin Donuts
Just put that dude's headshot the fuck. Yeah, right
Walk right through did you want to be a comedian when you were a kid?
I always thought about it like I I loved comedy
I first listened to us probably like 11 or 12 or something like that, but I want Pablo Francisco. I love Pablo Francisco
I love like Brian Regan was my pop was so and I was 11 or 12. He was my favorite comedian
Pop was so funny. When I was 11 or 12, he was my favorite comedian.
He's so funny.
Yeah, that Arnold Schwarzenegger, Little Tortilla Boy.
Yeah, the Little Tortilla Boy.
That premium blend was like-
So good.
That used to hit so hard.
Yeah, especially because he was so out there compared to a lot of other guys.
He really stood out with that big act out and the voices and everything like that.
The Latino clown.
I'm referring to every Hispanic comedian.
The Latino clown.
The Latino clown.
The J-State.
Yeah. to every Hispanic yeah yeah no I was I was a baseball player for when I was a
kid like I played in the college and stuff like that and you played d1 no d2
yeah I know I should have known earlier that it wasn't no our boy over there D
one well yeah I mean just with the size you put him in D does he like does he
like son you about it for the audience audience at home, Pete is 730 pounds.
Yeah.
And in 8'4".
He did D1 sumo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
He was D1 sumo.
It's got to suck to be a big fat guy and think like, oh, I'm
going to do sumo and I'll be good at it,
because all the big guys are big fat guys.
And then you suck at it.
It's like the one thing you could have maybe have done and no now. You're just some asshole. We're in a diaper
Yeah, it's all
Thing just sadly eating the salt that I've been watching sumo
Yeah, you see that Aaron Donald clip Aaron Donald from the NFL
No, they're like Micah Parsons that's someone from the NFL
It was Micah Parsons like fight one of the sumo guys. Oh really who won
By the sumo I mean we got we ought to teach them boys to protect a goddamn quarterback and I
Sumo guys become off offensive linemen
Goddamn quarterback. Can I well you know what you guys become off offensive linemen?
They will after that I would have had that I if I was GM yeah telling you I would have that idea
Locked up by Samoans
It's a lot of Samoans. It's a lot of foreign boys It's crazy that like Dwayne Johnson is what happens if like a Samoan person goes on a diet
is what happens if like a Simone person goes on a diet. You know what I mean. They could all be the rock. They just started counting calories. Yeah they could be fucking basically
Barack Obama. Yeah keep the tattoos. It'll all look good. They could be that Bruno Mars.
Yeah too many too many. A lot of slurpy stock scale. Yeah apparently Bruno Mars is a like
everyone around Vegas. Yeah I've heard he is a
Degenerate yeah, I've heard he's working the net the rest of his contract for free cuz he's already spent
All makes 10 million on a show and then the casino has it back within two hours
Yeah
And I think he's so far under right now that he's just trying to make up his debt with these shows that he's doing
So I don't know if he's seeing any at least that's how bad could you be a gambling I mean I guess like
gambling is in pot besides at my bookie calm right where you get a free bet
especially if you I don't think I've won anything ever I've had a couple lucky
things but I'm doing all very low stakes I go there with like a hundred bucks or
a couple and try and see or yeah or put a couple hands a blackjack or throw some
money on a roulette table or
Something but I've never had even the slightest interest
I've been in a casino and I'm like, well the lights are pretty the feeling of I'm not gonna lose money
Like you don't feel as good as how bad you're like I had 20 bucks one second ago
Yeah, when I was like a drunk I would like relate it to, because I had friends
that would gamble and it's like if I opened up the fridge every day and I'm like, I hope
I get drunk today, and I drank 30 beers and nothing happened, then I wouldn't be an alcoholic.
You weren't even drunk and the beers didn't even work.
Well now I've gained 35 pounds and I wasted my money. Yeah, it would just wouldn't I don't understand
Yeah, yeah, especially like for a guy like that where you're dealing with everything like you're doing
Like you said multiple million dollars in shows a year and then so talented give it away like that
You're working at like the Dolby
It's like a high-tech fucking a theater that you're working in every night and to just give all that money away
It's like what are you doing this for like do you ever win like who's an addict that's
what I get that I get that yeah I'm just yelling at a guy who's addicted I don't understand
how you lose ten million dollars in two hours to five million dollar hands of blackjack
and they like they'll like treat you well too so they'll be worse if you're a high roller
they'll like give you the yeah but they'll treat you they'll also they'll be worse if you're a high roller. They'll like give you the yeah, but don't
Don't treat you well if you're Bruno Mars if you're just performing at the venue
Yeah lose all your money right away. Yeah, that can't be true. He can't
Caleb has the bug. I went to like the the win. You know about AIDS
He has HIV. Yeah, I went to the win in Boston and he was down like 200 bucks and he's like, and I'm like, bro, I'm tired.
Like, let's go.
He's like, he's like, I just need, I just need to, and he puts his hands to the slots
like this.
Oh God.
He feels the aura.
And then, and then he went on a fucking, what was it?
Big bang theory or no Big Bang Theory
was what Josh Androsky was.
Androsky won a million dollars.
It was like a TV show.
Did you hear about this?
No.
Josh Androsky was doing like, I don't know,
I think it was like a club in Palm Springs or something.
And he's not a gambler at all.
He's like, oh, there's a Big Bang Theory slot machine.
How funny is that?
Yeah.
Puts a quarter in, wins a million fucking dollars.
What the fuck
I want those progressive jackpot type things that are insane
But anyway like Caleb felt the aura couldn't have happened to a nicer guy by the great guy
That's like what I feel like literally anybody else. I'd be like I'm never speaking that yeah
Yeah, and he hit he got his money back Wow
At least yeah, and he hit he got his money back Wow
Worked that's amazing. He's real magic dude. There's no it was like an it was an Asian themed one It was like red dragon dragon link. Yeah
dragon karate
What is something? Yeah, I've gotten into there. It's nice that all the slot machines are themed as like things that you could hate if you lose
Right fuck the mentalist yeah wheel of fortune get suck my dick fuck you pet say jack
Yeah, no
I it's been showing up on my feet a lot more just cuz I've been been in Vegas a lot of dudes that are like
That's a big thing right now. You go to Vegas a lot just for shows and so did you do skank's fest?
You as a skank no by the way if if you're in Vegas skanks fest is this weekend. Yeah get tickets
I will not be there neither will either either either. Yeah, not yeah. No, I'll do like the seller
They're Brad Garrett's and stuff like that. How are they? It's tough. It's the shows are great
I've always heard it's tough with tourists. I mean like so drunk it depends on the show
I mean the good thing about Brad Garrett's they do one show a night. It's one eight o'clock
Raymond Raymond exactly does he do that? Where did he get the money for that club?
He was the guy on everybody loves I mean that show is massive
And I think you know but how do you get the club for it cuz it's his club. Yeah, it's his club
Yeah, he had it there for a while like for a long time
I think he rode that wave on see in something prior to everybody loves Raymond. I don't think so
Okay, and he was doing stand up and stuff like that he was a
Stand-up stand-up money isn't by a fucking casino. No, I mean now now I think they like
Branded it. I think it's probably like a brand deal that he signed with you
But what investment group is like, you know what the theme should be the brother from every
That's not even one of the slot machines
Yeah, right it wasn't like the brother from everybody loves raymond slot machine
Yeah, so how would they go whole casino? I don't shows are good there. Yeah, they're great. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's I just don't
I want to avoid my family. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean it's it's still very much
You're dealing with a lot of tourists and a lot of people from all over but you don't deal it certain clubs are well
I just have my dad in the front row just being like you're a disappointment
Yeah, why did you do this? Yeah, that'll make up for anything. There's a great guy
There's a wise guys to in Vegas, right? Yeah, they just opened a new room up there.
So I think they have two different rooms. Yeah, your dad would say that, but he would do this.
You would be like...
My dad came to Funny Mom's one week and nearly died from an asthma attack.
Whoa. And some, thank God, some girl in the front row had an inhaler and saved my father's life
Wow while you were on stage was just helpless doing
Was like does anyone have a
Sad he thought he was laughing
Yeah, I was like finally yeah, it's like felt like scoring a game winning like a walk-off
My dad's dying I killed killed my father. You're celebrating
in your mind. Yeah. Harry's right. Harry's razors guys. Do you shave. Yeah. Everything.
Yeah everything. Bear down to the baby's bottom. Yeah. You're a swimmer. That's right. Of course. Yeah, so I'm a drag
No, not at all with especially with my physique
First base I was a catcher
Yeah, pause
pause
Catcher like yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay Harry's
Yeah, okay Harry's
Hosts Adlib tell a funny story about a time a joke didn't land. Oh just like just now just now Okay, maybe you bombed on stage or couldn't impress on a date. Keep it light. The hell is up with these copy
What does that have to do with?
There I think they're just coded insults in there or just straight forward
Yeah, what is it Chad GPT though? What would these two guys say about I don't think it's
specific to us thing goes out there because this next one's specific to the next line is
Adam Friedland free loaded off the talents of Nick Mullen and Stavros Halkeus for years, but everyone knows that
Yeah, they're sending that
Sending that to everyone. The West Coast guys are getting that. Bobby Lee
has that. Yeah. Spread the word. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee sitting there. Barely
wearing a beanie saying those exact words. Just doing an Asian minstrel see for a. He's
like who the fuck is Adam Friedland? Who fuck is that New York guy those guys say anything
New York guy those guys really say anything
But Harry okay, everyone knows in the comedy world
Everyone in the comedy world knows not every joke delivers, but Harry's always does mmm unlike my joke about
What'd you play baseball catcher?
Switch to pitcher after oh
Last couple years rate. Yeah went to fucking is it true what they say about that. They're all sociopaths baseball players pitchers
Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, there's a psychopath. There's an ego to it for sure and you're separate
They say there's certain jobs like everybody that does that as a psychopath. Yeah surgeon
surgeon and pitcher pitcher those Trevor Bauer that guy is a like
Actually, it was a false accusation, right? Yeah, right with Trevor Bauer. Yeah with Trevor Bauer. What was the accusation?
Something with was it being a crazy
Sexual something when it comes to that with athletes. I'm like, yeah, probably no,, they're all animals. No, a lot. Come on. Oh, yeah. Right.
All lies. Everybody's a great. They're fucking everything that moves. That's why you become
a professional baseball player. Okay. So Harry's always delivers. They send the best quality
razors right to your door for a fraction of the price and by the way they wanted
us to say that every athlete who's ever been accused was okay okay cool yeah
okay so that's good better designed shaving products at a better price is no
joke it's Harry's I've had an experience with Harry's it's phenomenal it's taken
off all the hairs it felt great and I got pussy off of it. Oh yeah. From a girl because my face was she said you have a face of a boy there's
no hairs and that's what I'm attracted to. She was into that. She was into it
yeah. Describe the quality of the product what do you think Nick? I think it's
fucking awesome. What about the deodorant lotions body wash hair gels, etc. I'm loaded up dude
I'm slick right now Jerry's
wet in lotions
I've got so many lotions on right now. You look supple. Yeah deodorants
Soaking wet just covered in lotion. Yeah, my man like a slip is live. Yeah
How did it make you feel Nick? How did it smell? It smelled great. I love the smell
The smell of the lotions and the way they feel on my skin. I
Love the razor. I love it. You can barely feel it just glides over everything and then you don't have any there's no stubble
There's no shadow great. I feel like I don't have to shave for the rest of my life
Yeah, but I do of course because that's not how the body works
Without naming other brands how does it compare to
Alternatives that you've tried. Well, the alternatives are bad. I guess I'd say that I wouldn't even say their names. Yeah, uh guys
Here's what makes Harry's unbeatable
In terms of value German engineered blades, you know what they did over there.
Yeah.
And they make them in their own factory
and they stay sharp longer.
Great.
That's what they say about the Germans.
That's a cool job.
They stay sharp.
Working in the blades factory.
The blade factory.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of group texts about going to the gathering
of the Juggalos at the Blades
Sector.
Yeah, yeah.
What are you doing this weekend?
Oh, I guess, yeah, it would be in Germany.
Yeah.
All we have to see is the Juggalos.
Do they have, I guess, Oktoberfest is as close as you get to that in Germany.
Yeah, less face paint, but still as much energy.
I remember as a kid thinking, I'm like, I mean, I can't wait to go to Oktoberfest.
And I didn't know what it was.
I just heard the word and I thought it was like there'd be
Halloween candy costumes on the house and then it's just German people like
trying different types of pepper yeah really stupid stuff yeah big rallies
huge speeches right yeah a lot of the you know rallying a whole nation duck walk in yeah uh you can get a five blade razor
hitler's rally's free or did you have to like buy a ticket to go see her
bringer if you bring 10 people to the rally
you'll get a free pin no i wanted did you have to like buy a ticket to go see
hitler i don't know is there somebody with that
like in their journal. He made 75 million
Deutsch marks on the road that year. Yeah, what was the gate? He was basically the Matt rife of his day
A lot of people are saying that uh, I tell you I had a dream that about Matt rife
They were at him that he was good that he like got good at stand-up and I was like trying to explain to people
Something's changed. Yeah, he's on fire. Yeah
Yeah, I'm like no he's doing he's like self-aware now and there's like
What a dream it's just a general idea of redemption I guess yeah
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harrys.com slash tafs. Adam are you in town this weekend?
Yes.
Can you feed my cat?
Yes.
Okay thank you.
Wouldn't trust me to do it.
Well you're all the way in Queens. I gotta find somebody. I even feel bad asking because he's all the way in Fort Greene.
I thought you had the automatic feeder.
I can't, she can't use it anymore because her teeth got removed.
She can't, she can only have wet food.
So I don't have to chew it and spit it in the mouth?
No, you just open the can of wet food.
It's Hill Science Diet Senior Vitality.
I'm spending like $100 a month now on cat food.
We gotta get him to sponsor the show. Yeah, I guess I don't know the vet recommended it but
I'm sorry about she's doing a lot better. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, she got her teeth removed no teeth
So yeah, what else is in the news so you're a Zionist yeah, I'm a Zionist yeah hardcore
What's your favorite part of it?
It's it's mostly how it makes me feel I would say and
superiority, you know feeling like my position
already of what cured uh, you know just of being of self and
So you're from Southie projects, yeah born and raised Southie projects. What's it like there? Okay?
It's it's like all white people. Yeah, it's all whites. We made sure that it's hardcore
You know a lot of people fucking going around slapping each other's clock. Mm-hmm, then call him fags and shit
doesn't upset you and people make a
Like a joke about the bombing? Like the marathon bombing?
The marathon bombing.
I mean, no, I don't think anything's open to jokes.
Oh, you're like a free speech kind of?
Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want, but it should be funny.
Do you think it's not offensive?
Do you think Tsarnaev should be getting the death penalty or no?
I don't know. I think the death penalty is interesting.
A lot of me wants to have people serve their time.
I think a lot of people do stuff like that thinking thinking that they're gonna die at the end of it.
The school shooters and stuff like that,
they're like, oh, I'll just do this and then I'll die.
It's like, no, now you should have to kind of live
with that for a little bit.
No, but he's gonna get pussy, right?
As a mortar.
They should put him in a zoo.
There's only like 300 Chechens in there.
The zoo would be nice.
We can go check him out.
I know it sounds racist,
but if there's only 300 of a type of person,
they belong in the zoo.
Right. At least a few of them, so we can study and give them their environment.
If it were 1890, that's what we would do.
Chechens, Boston Brahmins.
Boston Brahmins?
Yeah, there are like 300 probably left.
They have a little enclosure with Adidas track pants right and a Sony Walkman
Like weights made out of car parts places for them to squat around. Yeah, right stare at people
Yeah, yeah, I think that was listening to the theme song from the 1995 Mortal Kombat
Fuck yeah, Chichester number one
This is the one song we have. Yeah I'd pay for that. I'm not going to go to a real zoo but I'd pay for that. I would
love that. I want to see a sad gorilla but to see some Chechnya. Next to him a baboon. Yeah. It's all mixed together.
It's watching.
Yeah.
The primate house.
The Chechens got into the baboon enclosure.
They're all still jacking off.
No, they're doing MMA against them.
Yeah.
One of our zookeepers got arm barred by one of the Chechens.
They can't stop doing MMA.
She was feeding him.
It's a spice dust that they eat there.
Favorite spice. They made a delicacy in Chechnya, which is the contents of a vacuum bag
Spiced beyond beyond comprehension. It's delicious. Did you see that zoo in China that had dogs painted as pandas?
And they're like clearly in bear
costumes. Yeah I saw that one. This was like just straight up like Burmese mountain dogs.
Yeah. And they just painted and they just painted them like that. And they were like
yeah people said they were barking at the bears were well because trying to make way
more money just selling or renting the pandas. Yeah they were the pandas. I know. Yeah. We
sis the panda. We have to pay. We were gambling. Oh yeah. For the one that they had us the pandas. No, they lease us the pandas. Wait, we have to pay for Ling Ling?
For the one that they had in DC.
But they took it back when they were mad at us, right?
I think it was because it was leased. And we paid like $10 million for that panda.
No, we didn't.
Here's the rule. If the panda, like it's like they work like people,
where if the panda gives birth here, you get to keep it.
So that's why they're always trying to make the pandas-
Oh, an anchor baby. That's why they're always trying to make the pandas fuck
It's not because they're like oh, we don't have enough pandas. It's because we get to keep the panda
Oh, and then it helps you revenue that is that is the fucking
Dumbest thing I've ever heard of my entire life
That we're trying to make fucking pandas fuck each other to stick it to China. Yeah, and there in danger that's why we're doing it it's like no it's because the
repo guy is gonna come take there's a fucking lesbian lady that works at that
zoo that's in charge of like getting them in the mood there's there's Kevin
Kevin James looking lessee yeah yeah just showing up with Chinese I never saw a
zookeeper was that a good one?
Is that Kevin James movie? Yeah, I was the after Paul Blarty. They gave him a different job. Oh really? No, I only saw the the Matt Damon movie the we bought a zoo. Yeah, that's a Boston movie
I don't think it's a boss anything with Matt Damon's if I can watch should be yeah talented. Mr. Ripley
Elysium. Elysium Boss. Elysium.
Born.
When he's speaking Spanish.
Doesn't he speak Spanish in that movie?
In Elysium?
Yeah, Como Esta.
Como Esta.
Doesn't he speak Spanish in Elysium?
For like a minute?
I don't remember.
Have you seen that clip of that movie Denzelzen where he...
Hurricane. Going around. No, I don't think so. That clip of that movie Denzel's in where he hurricane going around no
I don't think so where they cast him in the 80s as a as an East London
like a guy
Is he putting the accent up? I'm just gonna play for you guys did that they would put America because America has
Like movie stars we have like actors and then they would like send the movie stars
Or just do them domestically have them play like a British person
An Australian person right right and then it would be like
Laughable which I'm fine with that. I mean, there's enough British guys coming to play Americans
Yeah, but they spend a bunch of time with like a private tutor. Yeah, and learn how to have like the subtle nuances of right, right
I mean, oh, yeah, I'm done Joe Washington. Tony Collette and fucking six cents is crazy
I watched the submarine movie the Denzel was that it's a
Crimson Tide on the plane. Yeah
So dope. Yeah, so dope. It's about mutiny. Okay on a submarine. Yeah, no chicks
Fuck you
So us I hate it when there's a
Tried to have a little like submarine movie. I was like, I'm gonna do a submarine down Paris
Go the afternoon and I started with Das Boot
which is a
slog
That is such a fucking boring movie
And so I just stopped there
I was like, I can't believe I just sat
here and tried to watch Das Boot again and then just watched the Ocean Gate
footage. I should have just watched Down Periscope. Down Periscope is so funny.
Das Boot might be the worst submarine movie and it's crazy because everyone's
like oh this is the best one. Down Periscope is the worst submarine movie
it's literally better than DasT. Are they comedies?
Are they meant to be comedies?
No, DOSBOOT's German.
There's nothing funny about it.
Oh, yeah.
Have you seen any submarine movies?
I don't know if I have.
Not any that are based around the entirety of the submarine.
K-19, The Widowmaker, U-571, DOSBOOT, Down Periscope,
Crimson Tide, Hunt for red october hunt for red october
I have seen but it's been it's been so long
Yeah, it's interesting to put together a submarine based evening for you. Well. There's not a lot of them bail on it
It was more like a like week week. Okay weekend kind of marathon
Yeah, yeah, you know it's actually really good is that fucking Tom Hanks Greyhound movie that he made for like Apple TV
Yeah, I saw some clips of that, but I haven't seen the whole series. It's great. Well. It's just one movie
Oh, it's oh, it's just a movie. Yeah, okay cool. Yeah, it's funny
I didn't watch it forever because I would confuse it with there's a Nicolas Cage movie that came out like two years prior that's like
the boat man you know it's
just he's like it's some naval Nicolas Cage movie yeah yeah that that I had to
turn off there's another one that came out around the same time it's Nicolas
Cage is like an ex CIA officer that gets dementia so yeah he's like he can't be
in the CIA anymore because he has memory problems. Yeah
That's not gonna stop that movie's great. Yeah Yeah, it's good to see Nicolas Cage still working because he really had an era there where he felt like he was in everything
Yeah, he kind of disappeared him and Ben Frazier felt like disappeared at about the same time. Yeah, really loves working
Yeah, well now it just seems like they're all coming back around. I think yeah
Yeah Well is Brendan Frazier in things or is he? It just seems like they're all coming back around. I think yeah, it's good Yeah
Well is Brendan Fraser in things or is he?
Just the whale he did the whale and I mean I know he got that big standing ovation at the French Film Festival
I don't know if that was for the whaler for some other love your having they fucking clap for everything. Yeah, it's it's a lot
Yeah, they clap for air bud
Airbuds worth air bud Warren Khan and they the French people were asking the dog questions It's a lot. Yeah, the clap for Air Bud. Air Bud's worth it.
But Warren Khan and the French people were asking the dog questions.
I saw what was it like to score the game?
Do you think there is a like there is a metaphysical
quality to the dog?
It's a play basketball.
Sure. OK, thank you.
My smart question was validated, which makes me smart.
I am an expert in this field. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun. You know what I saw today actually
that was, they used the first suicide booth ever today. Have you seen that? That just
came up. Yeah, I just saw that this morning It was like a 57 or year old woman or something now. They've had them
This is a new this is the first one that they like
Under law and then we so just like floods with nitrogen or something
Yeah, it's I mean it looks it looks like a space capsule
And then you put it on like the edge of a cliff so that people can like look at the sunset or something
Yeah, something like that something nice. I mean why not just put a screen in there or something?
That's terrifying.
Turn me into a robot.
Turn me into a killing machine.
Also, there's so many fun ways to kill yourself.
I thought you know you're really depressed.
No, and people are like,
would you upload your brain to a computer?
Absolutely, as long as the computer is a killing machine.
Or at least has the ability to become one at the right time.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I don't fucking die dude that sounds like
it sucks die is the scariest thing ever yeah yeah I was saying there's a suicide
booth they just use for the first time like you just load into the capsule and
they're using them up in Canada they just like made them legal I thought you
meant Eric Adams was sending them up we couldn't do that in America because it's
like the second they put a black
woman in one of those things it's like oh yeah that's genocide there's riots
you know what I mean yeah yeah one crazy even if she made the decision herself
it's like who told her about it you know not that I think that she would use it
but the optics of that would be it would be tough. That would be a fucking nightmare. Yeah. Yeah, it's like that's the only reason
California killed a black woman in a pod
They're like we helped her yeah
Yeah, that's a slippery narrative. Yeah, I would love it if mayor Adams was like
That's probably why they're installing Kamala so they can roll out the pile out the pods. They're like we talking about
Oh, you don't like the Trump loss? One of them's president.
Yeah.
It's not a genocide.
One of them's president.
I always thought that.
I never understood when that Will Smith movie came out,
the iRobot, the Hazmob movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, he doesn't play the robot.
Well, he has a part of him is a robot.
That gets revealed later.
Yeah, I always thought about that.
It's like, if we ever had androids,
they couldn't be black people
Why you think because you can't just like be like, oh, no, they're not slay. Well, we don't pay them
Yeah, they're black for some bad. Yeah, that'll be the new that's like the new race
That's gonna get invented where we can kind of decide on how we want to be racist towards
I always wanted to see like a sci-fi movie where like the computers or robots take over
Yeah
But they do it by being pathetic
Like they're just they like engender so much empathy because they're like, can you help me?
Yeah, I need all the money and the nuclear weapons the world's programmed against me
I don't know how I can't which was basically the new aliens movie, right?
That was both he was black and not only you know it's like the aliens
black the yeah oh I never had that reading of the movie yeah there's a
racial yeah there's always a racial oh yeah that's why they're always doing this
predator is black cuz he has dreads the dreads yeah yeah yeah but that's why
alien verse predators actually black. The alien is new.
Alien vs. Predator is like an east coast, west coast.
The alien is a migrant, I thought.
Yeah, still a person of color. I think we can all agree.
No, the robot in the new one is a black guy.
Oh, the robot was. Oh.
I still haven't seen any alien movies.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
Well, you should sit down and have yourself
a submarine alien extravaganza. Here are the big ones I've missed. I never saw Jaws. Oh,
wow. Really? I've never seen Jaws. That's crazy. It's worth it just for the fucking
... You've seen 80s for Brady, but not Jaws? No. Oh, you saw 80s for Brady.
No, he's a cinephile. Jaws is worth it just for the here's great USS, Indianapolis scene
when when Shaw gives that speech
but
200 men went into the water. I know that speech from the video of you doing a parody of that speech
Oh, okay. So remember that video. I don't have the ability to do that anymore. No, it's good. No. Yeah, my brain doesn't work
Yeah, every every hour I'll be like what about a
Banana that wears pajamas
And that's it that's something yeah, that's the most you can get out of it
But no, that seems great. They brought in John Milius to write it
He just wrote for that scene just that like oh wow he just
punched up one scene yeah pretty they were like we need John Milius has to say
whatever they get some epic shit down he's awesome yeah he's right wing or no
yeah he's right way he's right wing yeah that's a American right wing or British
right American right okay that's left wing my bad. Oh, no, that's Australia
No, I watched their Fox News
GBTV they like try to start Fox News and it's all that guy Farage and that guy is awesome now. What's his first name?
I've always said it wrong. Okay, yeah, come on. Don't even go there. Well, I you know
It's Britain knows like wow
Maybe it's like cunt. It's not a bad word there. Yeah
She's going to
Word say the ever
It's like that in your country you get you can go to jail for it like yeah
You really go to jail for tweeting like yeah you really go to jail for
tweeting for it yeah it's a lot over there apparently a bunch of people from
the race wars they just had are in jail for Facebook status updates yeah that's
crazy yeah man to have it that be that easy to go to jail like to just type
something yeah they don't have free speech you got at least hit somebody I
don't have free speech I know that's great people forget about. It's like you're just one thing away with all that shit
You should have been that should it be immediately you can just apologize and you get off
There's like a formal apology because that's like I mean, they don't have a constitution whatever but at the very least
Because people just say shit I should be able to people just be saying shit people be they do be saying, you know
I mean, yeah, I was like I can't like I could not function in a place like that
I have no problem apologizing. It would be that it would be a temptation. I
Would not be able to I know well, I wouldn't even think about it
I'd say something and then I'm thinking I'm saying something else
Right, and then you should be able to bring me in front of the court jester or whatever and I'm like look I didn't I'm sorry yeah she
brother just tweet again and that's that makes up for the crime that you did yeah
those wig guys also it's stupid cuz it's like you spelled Nigel with an extra G
yeah that's do you have to say for yourself come on man if that's the case
it should be the government should go after the fucking they should go after
Twitter there's your path they should pass laws that say like, you need to police your platform better.
Brazil just banned it, I think for that reason.
Well, I think they banned it because Elon Musk threatened to fight Maduro.
In Venezuela though, right?
Yeah, didn't that happen? And then he was like threatening...
Like MMA?
Yeah, he was like, I'm gonna come there and fight you and then after that it was banned well that
he's just demanding the Jews vote for him you better do it Israel he's like
we'll be nuked we will get rid of you if you don't vote for me you're a piece of
shit you're near you're one of the bad ones you're not Jewish you're not a real
Jew the real Jews they vote for me
He's awesome, dude
Think there's gonna be a third assassination attempt. There'll probably be a couple more. Yeah, that's the second one I don't even know if you can call it attempt the guy just pull it pointed the barrel through
I don't know if you even had the ball. He was sitting there for like he was there for like 12 hours
He was like camped out with body armor
What's crazy to have 12 hours to set up and not have any sort of camouflage set up
You don't put a little hiding in like a bush
I yeah, but to not block your barrel from sticking out to the point where somebody can see I don't know all the details
But I do know because I initially it was like oh, there's a guy with a gun there
It's like it's Florida could have just been a guy taking his gun from his backyard, right?
Yeah, and that but no he was no he was sitting there dating his gun. Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, what do you do for Ukraine?
Is that what he said? I don't know. It's like a mentally ill guy. Yeah
Yeah, he was just fed up with with everything I guess but it is crazy to go golfing after you've been shot at
Like there's a bit of balls to that. I think to be like I love this
I'm gonna go golfing after like you're only on the long ranges with people places for people to hide around you like honestly
I admire that. Yeah, I would I admire that that's some balls to go out there loves the game after like you're only on long ranges with people places for people to hide around you like honestly I
Admire that yeah, I would I admire that that's some balls to go out there loves the game
It would be cool if Kamala was shot that murder
Just just to see like Sean Hannity. Yeah, like well, they wouldn't care if it happened to Trump
Go on TV telling people why they shouldn't care
Just like going on TV telling people why they shouldn't care. Because that's exactly what would happen.
Obviously don't try to shoot a candidate for president, but if you're going to, just try
to shoot all of them.
That's what I'm saying.
And that's what happened.
There were two attempts on Trump's life.
Only one on Kamala.
Is it our fault that it was successful?
No.
It's still two versus one.
It's two on one.
I think one of her offices got shot.
Oh, really?
Yeah, campaign offices.
Well, maybe it was her.
She did it.
Yeah.
False flag.
And Tifa.
That's all.
With her gun.
Yeah.
She shot sideways.
Black style.
Yeah, she was on Oprah.
And she said, I have a gun, and I will shoot anyone
that comes to me.
Oh, yeah, I did say that and I will shoot anyone that comes to me
She said if Trayvon was in front of me right now
Yeah, I don't know it's it's interesting because the election now it feels like we don't even talk policy almost at all anymore What the funniest thing is all of these like pollsters None of them have any fucking idea
Oh, no, no idea if you believe they're like their credibility has been destroyed over the last couple years
Yeah, and then they still get there like people still ask them and they're like, ah, well, yeah, I could be
It could be either one of them it's like family feud you have to tell me who you asked
Yeah, just say we asked a hundred people and here's the vote
It's like the hundred blue-collar workers. Did you ask a hundred of these people?
I thought you're gonna say it's like family feud because it's white people versus black people. Well, that is a part. Yeah Johnson family
It's a race war
By Steve Harvey hosted by Steve Harvey would be a good. Yeah, I would like to see him as a moderator Yeah, the Secretary of by Steve Harvey. Yeah, hosted by Steve Harvey would be a good... I would like to see him as a moderator.
Secretary of Transportation Steve Harvey.
Be so sick.
Be so sick.
Act like a damn man.
The fuck you mean the buses aren't running all the time?
We'll get that fixed right away Mr. Harvey.
The buses have never been better.
You can get from Midtown Manhattan to Dallas, Texas in 15 minutes
now. I never like heard or knew the name of the secretary of transportation, but
it seems to me as if Buddha judge has done an awful job. Yeah, like the
airlines have been a mess for the last four years Just that guy managed to fuck it up
Yeah, I think it's time to go the other way and re-regulate the airlines
We need to go back the flights costing, you know, you want to fly from DC to Boston. It costs $15,000
Right three course meal you get a cigarette the flight attendants speak German. Yeah
There's a grand piano
attendance speak German yeah yeah there's a grand piano yeah yeah yeah you get a bisque off cookie of water and some pussy on every flight yeah it's
that or spirit the rest of the fly spirit either holding a rope or you're
fucking get your dick sucked in first class no no they keep trying to merge
too they keep trying to like yeah just buy everything Yeah, the small airlines are now trying to yeah
And that's I mean I feel like that's how a lot of them now
It's all this this operated by that it's Endeavor Air operated
Yeah, those deals American Airlines and JetBlue had one here, but the court broke it up. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, I don't know I mean the crowd strike stuff was crazy too that was just like it makes you realize how vulnerable the whole system is
That's what I mean everything is code it's yeah and now
we're a guy pretending to be a pilot just walking through an airport yeah
that's the next catch me if you can yeah that's that's doable I think we're back
to being able to do that again that movie is so sick it's cool but then they
it's presented almost it's like isn't crazy you used to be able to get away
with this stuff in the 60s it's like you isn't it crazy? You used to be able to get away with this stuff in the 60s. It's like, you can still do that.
You can totally still do it.
You can do all of that.
Yeah, you can make that badge.
You had to make checks.
I don't know how to do that.
He got really good at stationary.
Yeah.
The biggest stuff he did, he was just wearing
a different costume, you know?
And just making it up as he went along.
Right.
Yeah.
No, that's the jump seat.
But he studied for the bar, and he passed it.
That's impressive
Frank Abagnale Abagnale Abagnale yeah is that the movie no it's back to the
future he tells the he likes hot dr. pepper Christopher Walken there's
nothing I love more than a hot Dr. Pepper.
Yeah, boil it up.
Back to the Future is a great movie. Speaking of Brendan Fraser.
Good series to jump into too. You want to talk about a little math?
Not Back to the Future. Sorry, Blast from the Past.
Oh, Blast from the Past.
Have you ever seen that? No, I don't think I have.
Brendan Fraser. Yeah, he's like a...
I love that movie. He's in a bunker.
He's born in a fallout shelter. born in a in like a fallout shelter
It's like they think the nukes are going off in the 60s
So his family seals themselves in like an underground bunker and then he comes out in 1995 as like a 30 year old man
Oh, that's fine. I like that blast from the past
Famously in the trailer a black male lady walks by he goes my lucky stars and Negro
And that's the bit that's in the trailer that's sold the film
I watched that
challengers on the plane to
The trailer really made it look like Zendaya was gonna get just heavy Eiffel Towered
Yeah, and it did not happen bummer. I was waiting the whole movie just I wanted her I wanted them to high-five
Yeah, while one was getting it on one side the other one the other side never came
God, I I got pissed it. I punched this punch the screen. There's an old woman. Yeah the old woman in front like what?
What?
Then died and get fucking ice movie fucking bullshit. I'm sick a 24 clickbait
the fucking trailer lied
Yeah, my impression of that movie was I liked it a lot
But there's an inconsistency I noticed the guy says his name is Zvig at the beginning of the movie
And then he doesn't pronounce it that way or nobody else does for the rest of the film. Oh, that's a that's annoying
Yeah, I noticed that too's annoying. Yeah, I
Notice that too. Yeah, yeah, and it's that is zvi
Actor is like European that guy's awesome. He's a good actor. Yes, he's cute
He's a British guy, but they probably shot that first so he goes in he's like, yeah, the name's vague
Yeah, and then he's an American guy for the rest of the movie. So it's like
But I that that's the only thing I remember from it. Yeah, and they don't they don't an Eiffel Tower
It's bullshit. Don't watch that movie. I'm not gonna bother don't watch that between the inconsistencies and the you know
I walked out I walked out when they were like they were in there all three of them in the hotel
So I assume they fucked I had to go piss
Guys just kiss for like a minute and then both. It's nice to be at that age
Where it's like there's a sex scene coming up. I'm like perfect time to piss yeah
Watch people fuck no, thanks. Let me know when it's a cartoon. Yeah, I want it drawn
Yeah, let me know when it's a robot octopus raping a babysitter.
Guys, Nick, do you have a September memory that makes you nostalgic?
That's insane. There's no way that's fucking in there.
Liquid IV wants to know.
That's a setup. This is a setup.
Talk about a September memory that makes you nostalgic.
Gee, what famously happened in September?
How are they going to do that to us?
I don't know. that's like going to
England with no free speech I feel like they've really cheapened the 9-eleven
fucking searchlights that they do every year by like with the light displays on
the Empire State Building you think it's gotten budget the Empire State Building
dressed up like Darth Vader a couple years ago, it's like
Do we have no respect for 9-eleven at all anymore?
That if we're putting on light shows for Darth Vader when Star Wars has never been worse
Right, which is actually not true. They're terrible movies from the get-go
Star Wars, but now there's more
Yeah, yeah, I
it's any It's disrespectful also in 9-eleven
Well, if we're gonna put lights up in the sky if it's just once a year and it's for the Twin Towers sure
Right imagine if right next to the Holocaust Museum in Berlin or wherever it is in Germany
You had the Crayola crayon factory with the live
is in Germany you had the Crayola crayon factory with the live crayon imagine if they had fucking like a meat fucking Darth Vader in the gift shop at
Auschwitz mm-hmm tough sell wouldn't you say this is a little people get mad at
people taking smiling selfies right right you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not wrong if anything. I'm too right. Yeah, keep Vader out of Auschwitz. Yeah. Yeah
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It's great. Yeah, I love it is good. I've fucked myself up on the exercise bike the other day. Yeah, and
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And no, I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital because I didn't eat all day
And I rode the exercise bike and I just emaciated
Well, I had like the worst headache and I was nauseous and I couldn't stand up
Because I wrote it for like four and a half hours
And a lot would I be got you back? Yeah the electrolytes and the you know, I also had some peanut M&Ms
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They had they had that my thermos is stinking. I wish during your baseball career they had they had that. My thermos is stinky
I wish I had maybe I would have gone D1 if. What's that? My thermos is stinky again
The lids get they get mildew and you do you got to get them clean
I didn't realize that one day you have to clean them all the fucking time and it's such a pain in the ass because if
You let the water dry on them you take the gaskets off and then if you let the water dry
It's just gonna get like stinky. dry, it's just gonna get like stinky
Yeah, it's gonna get gross. So I have to put them I put them in the fucking broiler
I take the gaskets out
I wash them then I put them in the broiler to dry them for like two minutes
And then I've reassembled the make your water bottle that's just the gaskets
You're the weirdest guy to dry it out fucking dumbass. You're the weirdest guy. What do you what would you do?
Have a hairdryer paper towel. I don't have stuff like that paper towel doesn't do it and then you get air dry
What about wipe it down? I've tried that I would do that now you use the oven. It's much faster your water bottle
Well, it's also I'll be like cooking something. I'll be making a bunch of French toast wall food is in there of course
And then so I pre-eat the oven while it's pretty
Food is in there of course and then so I pre-eat the oven while it's pretty
Yeah, and I make my frame famous breaded
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Tafs great now we're back to the show. Awesome. Did I tell you I finally finished all those Lyndon Johnson books you did
I did how does it feel?
It's kind of depressing honestly you have nothing left to look forward to I don't yeah
Unless Caro writes that fifth book I know but the fourth one was kind of bullshit to be honest really he's falling off
Well the fourth one it's like he lost his father. It's when he's president for through the fourth book
it's is when is his his couple years as vice president and then president and
It's just yeah, it doesn't move the same way the third one did I guess I mean his glory years were in the Senate, but
Yeah, it's like an autobiography
autobiography series
Regular by our Nick Nick Nick didn't like the part where he passed the Civil Rights Act
He was like this part's bullshit. Oh, yeah, I didn't say that
Wait, but they get but that's the thing it's like yeah, that is a big deal
Then it's kind of you sort of going through the motions telling this story
Oh, it's more like and then this happened instead of creating a world
Yeah, I mean he could have probably written another five,000 pages on just his relationship with Bobby Kennedy. Yeah
Did it do you like that him or no? No, they hated each other the brother. Yeah. Yeah
Are you think about the brother RFK hated LBJ? They hated each other?
What?
What was the reason well?
What was the reason? Well, I guess like Kennedy had like a, he ran like a tight ship, you know, and his campaign
it was all younger people.
It was like a young, that was like the first young candidate for president.
LBJ ran him against him in 1960 in like the primaries.
But LBJ was also among like the liberal Democrats.
There was this, I mean that was right,
while the party was splitting up and the conservatives
were going to the Republican party.
But the perception of him was that at his core
he was still just a southern segregationist that did what.
Oh, interesting.
So the Kennedys put that out there about him.
I don't know if they put it out there about him necessarily,
but RFK was always mistrusting of L LBJ and then when he was in the
administration because it was a gamble for him to take the like the math that
LBJ did it's like he could stay in the Senate as as Senate Majority Leader where
he had immense power or he could take the the the vice president vice
presidential nomination yeah and like as even up until Al the the vice president's vice presidential nomination yeah and like
it's even up until Al Gore the vice president did nothing basically and and
if he took that job then it's like maybe he has no he has no power at all and
he's basically just banking on Kennedy dying wow like that's yeah he was like
if you look at it,
a lot of presidents have fucking died.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and he's like, this guy's sick all the time.
You know, this seems to be my shot.
Lot of them die.
Yeah.
It's like 45% probably.
Yeah, it's a lot, yeah.
No, I mean, I think it is over 10% of them that get.
That just die in office or.
Yeah, or get shot and killed. Yeah. Or, yeah. Well, it's interesting that they wouldn't bring that I think it is over 10% of them that get... That just die in office or...
Yeah, or get shot and killed or, yeah.
Well, it's interesting that they wouldn't bring that
in the campaign.
It's like, that shows you the class
that a presidential campaign used to have
that they're like, if this was true about them,
that they're, oh, we're not gonna bring this up.
We're not gonna show them that he's this person.
Like immediately it would be an ad right away.
The worst thing that this person's done is immediately
like just downtrodden upon.
It feels like there was like some gentleman gentlemanliness
I don't think ever was pains back then. Oh, we would never say that about him in public
Well, it's also I mean this it's like a primary race
Oh between and this is like I mean some of the states had primaries, but it's mainly something you know
It's like we just saw that it's decided by the party rather than people so it was at the convention back then yeah
a lot of horse trading
Yeah, a lot of horses a lot of a lot of slave trade
A lot of animals getting moved around. Yeah
Do you think he killed Jack do I think LBJ did or or no no is Israel
Come on, if it was anybody was was Israel come on dude what?
Israel didn't exist until like 1996 that's true. Yeah
It was a it was a dual release with Space Jam
Came up
Which you mean Jews get their own country bugs
in both. Yeah.
Bugs came up with these.
What you mean Jews get their own country bugs?
It's so funny to imagine Michael Jordan having to spend like two months talking to no one
in front of cameras.
Yeah.
Just in a room being like, that's funny, Bugs Bunny.
Okay, let's go again.
It's an empty chair.
Oh man.
And then they remade it with LeBron now. I haven't seen it I didn't I saw it was it decent
The first one to watch okay, the original one's not good lot of IP. It's okay for a kid. It's good. I think
Maybe yeah, I think it was good for but it could a kid now watch it would a kid now give a shit about it
Probably not maybe their baby. I mean it's's cartoons yeah they're probably like it his arm
stretches mmm when he does the dunk nice Lola bunny was a was a Fox yeah yeah
yeah we have a buck culture now I think I think that was the start of it was
people seeing that that bunny ass and now they're all it's all furries and oh
yeah we were in a tits era back then yeah it's funny people are like where did furries come ass. We were in a tits era back then. Yeah, it's funny, people are like, where did furries come from? It's like, uh, Disney's
portfolio.
Yeah, it's from everybody wanting to fuck.
Princess Jasmine?
Yeah, yeah.
That tiger?
No, there's that scene in Lion King where the lions are basically fucking each other
after they get pubes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You ever hear that?
Yeah, they're hot.
And then the stalker comes back and he's like, my dick got bigger.
Yeah, and all is fire.
Right, and then they're like, the lions are like making out in a pond
Yeah, I'm John's playing
You've never seen
Only that's the first thing you've ever seen and they're like and I'm not trying to be homophobic here
But probably gay guy that was like what if we had a scene like you know institute and kids will love it
scene like you know Institute and kids will love it yeah yeah I mean they they really got rid of all the sexy cartoons yeah another I think Moana was the last
sexy one sure I think stitch was the last sexy
stitch was the last piece of ass yeah maybe monsters ain't depending on how you
swing yeah yeah I think all the cartoon characters
Now we're like theater kids or maybe it's the other way around
Hmm, but they all have like that like like theater kid, you know, like look
It's like it's a bizarre thing where like the cartoons are bad at acting. Right. I don't understand. How did you draw somebody over? Yeah. Oh man.
You have anything coming up? Anything you want to plug? Um, I'm, I'm off the road for
until 2025 for the most part. I got a big show in natural woke culture. Yeah. So that's
what it is. I'm waiting to see, once my man gets back in office,
we'll be able to get back out.
Once the boys are back in town.
I have to go the Jay Leno route, just to have cars.
Yeah, as your baby.
Yeah.
I never liked the touch of a woman.
It's when I cause.
I asked CAA, I was like, can you get me in that garage?
Just to meet him.
Just to meet him, hang out in the garage,
have him explain things to me. Is. Okay, what do you mean?
Did he say terrible? Yeah a car accident or something? Yeah. Oh, yeah, his face got burned off by gasoline
Has anyone seen what he looks like now revealed a normal chin. I remember that when we were doing those monologues. There was
There was some joke about his face getting burned off
Then I remember liking the joke and now I can't remember what it was.
He's just a chin now.
He lost everything but the chin.
No, it was better than that.
I'm sure it was better than that.
At liquidiv.com.
I feel bad for Jay.
We're Jay strong.
Apparently Jay Leno's face got burned off by gasoline
Apparently Monica Lewinsky. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I'm a gasoline fire
Man apparently everyone says the best in the biz. Oh, yeah, that's what they say. That's what they say
I mean his YouTube channels great Nick Nick has a lot of respect for his car knowledge
What about sign for its his collection is like he has emotional relationship with it's mainly the way the contents produced
Yeah, yeah, he fucks cars. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. Yeah should see his only fans. Have you ever fucked the Chevy Nova?
That's good. The exhaust pipes that this double wide isn't only fans
exhaust pipes that double wide isn't only fans where he looks like fucks the car. You ever see that documentary about those guys that fuck cars. No. There's like one
guy that wears like a like one of those like Fargo hats. Poor guy. Yeah. That fucks cars.
He like comes out to his dad as fucking cars. His dad's like well I wasn't around much.
Better to be in game. He's, probably it's my fault. I'm
glad you're just not a fuckable daughter. At least you ain't a Chevy guy. At least you're
not a fucking Kardashian. Yeah. Thank God. Anything but that. Thanks for joining us today.
Man. Yeah. Thanks for having me. A lot. Good to see you. A lot of fun. We'll see you next
week. Oh yeah.