The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88 Watch Joes Special: https://www.hulu.com/movie/joe-mande-chill-9347f87d-fc30-4520-ad23-3ebd4cf3181e Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/adamfriedlandshow.bsky.social Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow  for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #joemande

Welcome to the Adam Friedland show podcast guest this week Joe Mandy thanks for joining us happy to be here thank you first person with a million followers on Twitter is that true that's the first person to openly buy them I think oh that's right yeah yeah there were people with millions already where do you buy them from like Indonesia or something? there was like fiverr and then They're one of my fiber fiber guys was like if we go off the website I can hook you up and he was just like a guy in Moldova who was just For like a couple hundred bucks was just giving me hundreds of thousands of followers. That's so sweet I don't know what up with Moldova, but I don't think I was like

Funding isn't that the worst country didn't ratherado say that that that's like statistically the worst one That's some Eastern European beef that I don't want no part of Where is he from Romania? He's Romanian. That's worse. Probably. Yeah, I wonder how he feels about Moldova I don't care at all about that. They had real Romanians in Nosferatu. They did. Yeah Really not the robot the robots played by Bill scars did you watch it what yeah I just saw it last night yeah it was good yeah it looks cool mm-hmm I want to see wicked but I don't everything else people are excited to see I don't want to see that's what I that's why I said I'm gonna get in the Game of Thrones now it's safe I can watch what I said. I'm gonna get into Game of Thrones. Now it's safe. I Can watch it by myself? Yeah, you're waiting for it to not be part of like the dis for 25

I get into Game of Thrones and AOL instant messenger I wish man. I was a that was a dark day for me when I lost my instant messenger Profile just we make I take like it got it. Just like my password Chris Hansen. Yeah I know I couldn't get into the message boards I needed to the chat rooms that they just my password no longer worked. There was like no they're like what what was your email in 1998 who are you talking to on there like I I Guess it was just like the the other guys in Isis. Yeah Yeah, and attacks and you And between that and the time zones,

it was impossible to keep up with them. I had my name at Mac.com back when they launched, I bought the Apple, just my name, at Mac.com, and I lost the login information for it. And once every two years, I'd be like, maybe there's a way, and there isn't. No, it's just gone. And it drives me fucking insane every time. It's the exact same thing.

You didn't even have a phone at the time. And you can't even get mac.com. You can't get those emails anymore. No, it's iCloud. You have to have an iCloud. And you get that for free when you buy the phone. Yeah, I remember getting really excited for Gmail. Like my friend, yeah.

It was like invite only, right? It was invite only. I got an invite from my friend for the beta Who is that story about Snoop Dogg at gmail.com Moshe? Yeah. Yeah We would do is a bit he would do on stage I'm not sure we do yeah about like meeting Snoop Dogg and he'd like you connect and we get his email and he's like Can I get your email and Snoop Dogg's like, you know, it's busy. So Snoop Dogg's like, you know, it's busy, so you know, it's uh... Snoop Dogg, etch email. It is really crazy that how many really famous people...

But it's actually about a different celebrity. That's not Snoop Dogg's. He changed it to Snoop Dogg, but the actual celebrity and the real story is just as funny. Yeah. Yeah. It's ****. Was it? His email is email is leave that in and motion madam and he goes Well now we exposed him I went to a funeral it was a

Well, now we exposed him. I went to a funeral. It was a for my friend's brother last year. It was really sad, but my friend had to like get into his email because he needed to find some stuff for like, and so he like guessed the password. He finally got in and he found an email. His brother sent an email to Steve jobs to S jobs at Mac.com and he's like Mr. jobs. My name is Toby. I'm a law student in New York City. I think you are spending too much money litigating like copyright law and not enough on research and development like anyway. Have a nice day Mr jobs and Steve jobs responded yeah and he was like yeah he was like he was like yeah you sound like I did like this yeah

He was like, yeah, he was like, uh, he was like, yeah, you sound like, yeah, he's just drinking a smoothie while, while dying. Yeah. He's getting a kale. He's drinking green juice to cure his cancer. Um, yeah. And he was like, yeah, you sound like a law student, like thanks for your advice, but you're absolutely 100% incorrect. And like, yeah, you don't know at the hey. You don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, so Steve jobs went into the commons basically cool, but I guess he guessed Steve jobs is email and my friend read it at the during the eulogy. It was like it was really nice like people were crying and then they laughed a bit. How are they doing? That was an awful story really sad the way

his friends good yeah, that was really there there I mean, it's they're good. The kids are good. No, I'm good. I we should probably I don't you brought it up I don't I well you brought up to make fun of him for sending an email It's a funny story. Oh His pager exploded. Uh-huh. Yeah, he was in Hezbollah. We had a seizure while driving We they don't know he crashed. We, they don't know. He crashed into Gaza. They don't know. No, he crashed into a-

He drove through all of Gaza. He crashed into the Puerto Rican Day Parade and then kept driving, then went through Pride Month Parade. Oof, that's a rough day. Which is the same, you know it's the same time. Yeah. I love that scheduling issue.

So you're in LA, are you like, the wildfires, are you like demanding respect for that? Yeah, I Definitely used it last night to gain sympathy with New York firefighters In Washington DC That joke didn't work. I keep I get like the like updates on my phone or whatever and they're like, oh Billy Crystal's house He lost his house. Yeah I'm like I do no way I'm ever gonna care about that He's like running out of his house covered in soot. I can't imagine that man. There's anything in Billy Crystal's house

It's like a glass coffee. Yeah Marble just a bunch of marble and he's bound to slip in there and split his fucking head open at some point I just before I came in here I saw a thing that Melissa Rivers had heroically saved Joan Rivers' Emmy Award from a fire. Oh my god that's nice. That's beautiful. I did I don't know if you guys missed it but I said he ran out of the house. That's the globe right? It's burned into her palm like a Nazi. Indiana Jones. That's it.

That's the movie. Yeah. His house is okay or no? No, that's the movie where the guy burns. I don't know. Do you have any friends whose houses are okay but they're richer than you? So you're like a little bit like, oh whose houses are okay, but they're richer than you So you're like a little bit like oh, I'm sorry, but you're richer than me No, I a horrible thing of being slightly more successful than a friend whose house burned out. Oh, that's oh that you must feel terrible

You're a bad person. You're actually you're just bad. I offered to burn my house Yeah, it's I don't think like people are gonna care that much in the rest of America you see people on Twitter being like it's not all rich people that live in LA but it's like it's you're not you're not gonna convince them now that it's not I know it is in their minds it's fucking Dan Schneider boiling like a frog in his foot right you know that's that's all that's happening Pray for the palisades a lot these days. I text him I was thinking of you is that where he's at? That's where I think his family is. No, he's in Nashville now

He's a country star. Oh country star. He's a actor in a show. I worked interesting. Maybe they should look into the Show they should look into what Chet was doing before he left for Nashville. Exactly, yeah. He left his stove on. He was doing pyro, pyro stuff. Bad boy stuff. It's getting a little hot here in LA. I might head to Nashville.

That's his big surprise. His music is beautiful. Have I played it for you? I watched that. His country music is stunning. Yeah, but even like, he did one of the songs on yeah, but I made it bad Well, whatever, but I mean it's like for just sitting here with these shitty microphones I can't even get through a sentence right and then yeah, I mean it's really impressive

It's funny cuz it's like I mean he is It's Tom Hanks his son. Yeah, it's like of course he's like talented It's Tom Hanks his son. Yeah, it's like of course he's like talented Well, I mean I would say more talented actually. Yeah, at least is Tom Hanks saying I'm confusing Combining him and Lyle love it in my mind into one guy The classic yeah, I'm saying of Lyle love yeah, I saw a bit lot in Scottie Pippen and hard Yeah, I love it. They're all the same guys. Gotty Pippen, go scar. I love it. Ringo star Yasser Arafat. Yeah. All the classic. I found it last night that there's a DC councilman whose name is Magic Jordan.

I was like, I love it, man. Of course he won the election. That's the coolest. That's his Christian name. Well, it's like something his middle name legit is magic. Oh, legit magic Jordan. That's so that's like a first thing to Lebron. Actually, you know what I mean? That's like what a white person, a 12 year old gives an end to the police because they're trying. We they get caught. You're like you like your create a player on NBA to yeah What a nerd says in school? Yeah, you're like trying to fit in. Yeah. Yeah, so magic Jordan was that what what's going on with him? You don't like yeah, you don't like sports

That's so funny. Yeah DC well, they also had a mayor named Bowser Ariel Bowser Mario Bowser. Mario Bowser. Mario Bowser. What a great place. Yeah, and a mayor's smoke crack. Our mayor right now, I hope 1,000 years Eric Adams. The more I find out about what he did, he's the best. I don't really think he did anything wrong. He has eight phones on him at all times for crime. Yeah, maybe he just likes phones. Is that bad?

No, I think. There's a lot of new expensive phones. Yeah. I mean, getting the tickets to Turkey, I don't care about. He's the mayor of New York, so no matter what, conservatives are going to be mad at him on the internet. Everyone's going to be mad. And when the corruption stuff came out, they're like, oh, he was taking kickbacks. What was the corruption stuff? The corruption stuff is he was getting free business upgrades on flights to Turkey.

It's like... There were fundraisers, like campaign fundraisers were funds. I don't care. It's not... I don't care either. I support this man no matter what. He brought Swagger back. All the, like, what is it called?

Graft? It's a graft that gets like prosecuted is always the ones where it's like this is fine to me like when paul maniford got busted for tax evasion because he bought his wife like a big coat yeah i'm like let him write the it's a coat he said it was a business expense yeah that's fine like when it's like that scary because it's like that oh yeah when it's like biden doing like kickback renovations on his house, that's where it's fucked up But if it's like a big stupid coat for your stupid wife, yeah, I don't have a problem with that like Menendez

Getting gold bars from Egyptians Let him have the gold bars When it's like, oh, you know like 15% of my offshore drilling come that's bad that stuff never they never I'm putting my crackhead son on a golden top hat on a energy board Uzbek oil company. Yeah, yeah, what's hunter up to? I don't know. Is he at an agency? How do we get in touch is he see he's an agent on cameo? I think Get hunter if you're out there the clip of this he's a man. He made it out. Joke him booster I think he's Joles. Yes only client

I'm pretty sure He's so he's getting into the business yeah, yeah, so he wants to be but he doesn't want to be on camera No, no, just get all clients to do full frontal nudity his one client yet he runs like a euphoria style agents yeah yeah oh man that's so funny it is like that guy that made you for you really pulled it off. I'm gonna make a show It's really good that I had until this holiday season sees candies From the wall from the mall I always was under the impression is that was like taffy like saltwater taffy, which I love the packaging of but I hate It's an actual candy. It's just chocolate, right? It's chocolate. It's really fucking good. It's really good

Yeah, did you have a full M's? Ethyl no, no, that was I guess I know Whit sampler and now see women's is for grand grandmas. I guess yeah There's a grandma candy. Hmm. I was just in Mexico and New Mexico Over new years, you know that I had no idea you were in Mexico. I went to Mexico City, dude I was just listening to the events that it wasn't thinking about like in a location. That's sweet. That's nice of you. Yeah. I kind of like it. Well I'm not going to elaborate but that's very nice of Nick. I had no idea you were in Mexico City. I was in Mexico City and and it's really like the the like the

for the manic pixies we send down there like in with respect to like the guys that come here like it like I Guess brought up here by coyotes and shot by rednecks and then they do that Like they clean poop and stuff and they never complain and we are sending some of the worst women Like we're sending like the said no one ever like Yeah, do they yeah, cuz that's normal. Yeah, they all live there and they're all like Emily in Paris there And it's just like but like every time I met like an American there It was like yeah out of respect for the guys that were that they're standing up here It's just the the contrast is insane to me, right? We need to start taking them out

well, I mean we need to start like actually Is really it's it's so mean that like the conservatives are mad at like the nicest guys in America for sure. Yeah, they bring us door dash in four seconds anytime we want anything. I love their outfits. They show up on the bike and they have those gloves that are like the part of the bike. Yeah. It should have the name of a team on it. I mean it's so so big. It's so sick. It's giant glove. I was driving while it was raining like a couple of weeks ago and there was those guys were like zooming over the Manhattan Bridge. Definitely like thirty five of them die a day. It's so scary what they're doing and like I get robbed and murdered too for their bikes. You think so? Yeah, there was a big they like they shut down like Times Square or something like three or four years ago demanding You know that the police stopped the murders

There and the the cops aren't investigating. I think they're doing what they do with anything else here So they still do ghost bikes. What are those like memorials where it's like a white? Oh Yeah Yeah, they they still have them around but I think they might be the ones that have always been there. Bike hipster culture kind of isn't as much of a thing. I've always hated that. That's always like, cause it's like... I would never want to be known as a cyclist. Yeah. You know what I mean? I ride a bike occasionally and if I were to get hit on... Cause Kenny DeForest died like, you know, a year and a half ago. I haven't been on a bike since. And there was people I saw them start to,

like the bike community was like one of us. Oh wow. It's like, I know. Dude, I know. I don't think so. I don't know if I've said this on the show, not to get too morbid to bring up my second death on the show, but this guy I know was riding a bike,

got hit by a garbage truck in Sunset Park and he died. And in the news it said Jewish cyclists that's what I mean Jewish cyclists die imagine he's like why is my name is Ben I'm a chef like a like an Oscar bait movie when I saw that I'm like come on imagine dying of that That's crazy. I feel so yeah, it was really sad and then oh that's like a that's a dreadful thought to see like What's the worst way like to word combination to be remembered? Jewish anything I did a I did like a Jewish podcast Yeah, because my dad likes it I did it I did it only because my dad likes that's crazy to be 72 and listening to

My dad my dad called me yesterday. He's like have you heard of a comedian Ari Shaffir and I was like, yeah dad He's like I heard him on a podcast that I like and I was like he was like he really I what he said about Kobe Bryant is disgusting. Oh my dad's like now getting getting into that. I thought it was like he wanted you to go on protect our no no. He was telling me that he was disappointed with what what what already said about Kobe, but I went I went on this Jewish pockets I asked them to not post it and they were like posted and they said sorry we didn't see this message They fortunately did cut out the part where the guy this is so funny cuz that's what you would do. Oh I didn't saw I didn't see yes, it's a it's a

Yeah in Jewish culture in Jewish podcast culture. You have to ask them to not to post three times Yeah, like conversion. What is this one's mine, but I didn't bring one today. Okay. Thanks, but it's the mini No, I'm okay. But anyway, I asked him not to post it But they did cut out the part where the guy was like and to all of our enemies No matter where they are as they hide from us in their holes. We will destroy them and I was like, I don't want to talk about this right it like started off like really light and it got there in like twenty minutes. I was like, can I? I just don't want to talk about this right now. I was obsessed

with a queen's public access show and I lived here called Judaism the Series. And it was just a rabbi screaming into the camera for half an hour and it was wonderful. Where can you even get public access anymore? I don't know, I mean I have to. New York One, right?

It's still on there. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder if that show's still on. Because you know, it's a series, a long series I would imagine. You ever see the show black men revealed It was I think DC no it wasn't it was like I think they filmed it in LA But it was on like I saw it at my cousin's house the first time and I think was on a channel called TV one Oh, yeah TV one yeah by a fire now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, so there was a show on that called black men revealed

That was one of the best things I've ever seen what were they revealing? I just like what kind of pubic hair they like what's that? You told me that you know like how loud black women are I mean it was like there there was like Sam Hyde came up with Yeah, it was really funny did what kind of pubic hair do they like Oh natural Oh natural backwards French Oh Natural Allah mode Alright guys, I want to talk to you about having better sex with blue chew blue choose the original brand offering chewable tablets Joe loves it. I love he loves the taste. He loves the feeling these erects

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changes your life girls love it okay and we're back and to all of our enemies as they hide in their holes and shiver You think there's like a guy in Hamas like who's like this my favorite podcast and he hears that he's like what? the fuck Yeah, the guy the guys act I'm canceling my patreon subscription to the Jewish podcast the guys act is like It's like someone hand me the starlink. It's like cancel guy's act is like it's like someone hand me the star link. I can't so the cancel my patron subscription to the Jewish hour. Yeah, his cat is what is

the name of the pockets. Can you say it's this guy Modi? Oh right. Yeah. Yeah. He's like his act is like comic view, but for Jewish people, it's like yes. Also like the Jewish Sebastian, everyone's parents like it. Yeah. Yeah. They're like so Sephardic people be driving like this but Ashkenazi people be driving like rushes. Yeah, and he crushes Yeah, he sings that tick-fah and Sebastian was in that top five list of tours the last year I didn't realize there was that many he's Italian people in America. Yeah Yeah, but he also has perspective on parenting and stuff like that other people your legs I don't know. I mean I like I was under the impression that he just

brings out the Italians like he was like the white like he's Joe Coy for kind of yeah for what is it bald people right? Oh, so he'll be no P. Yeah or fill are they fill up because Filipino means guys and then fill it well P. No,oy means guy also really a is girl he would think it would be vaginal but it's a and then Filipinas the brand brand it was telling me that spelled with an F Filipino yes it is but the country is pH yeah very confusing what the hell Brandon was telling me because Brandon played his son in a movie that Joe Perry told him to show up Just fully bald like

Hilarious I watched that movie on a plane. Yeah Easter Sunday Did he play like a like a like a 16 year old or something played like a sixteen year old and he be acting fourteen. You know my man immature. So what do you think about this election? We got the upcoming is upcoming. We got trump versus Kamala. What is Kamala doing right now? She's chilling. She's just inducting people into the we got to get her in here. Yeah, that'd be cool They gave Soros the like the medal of honor was that whole that whole

lineup of Medal winners was incredible. They give it to it was like Denzel Washington of course. No He's not Don't you have to like use a machine gun in World War two to get the Medal of Honor? No, they give it to like Bob Dylan and stuff. Presidential Medal of Freedom can just be like any... Oh, the Pres... Yeah, Medal of Honor is for the military.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Medal of Freedom is like... Nanette got one. Oh, okay. It's about time. Yeah. She's not even an American. Neither is Bono.

Oh, I didn't hear Bono. Yeah. I heard Denzel and I heard George Soros. And Hillary Clinton got one. it seemed like they were it was George Soros have a nationality. He doesn't right he's hungarian. I think he's American He just he's like the octopus that lives over the globe Yeah, what he doesn't have a country that he belongs. I don't even know what he looks like I just know his name. He looks exactly like you'd imagine

Yeah, people are obsessed with your sorority if you would like everything you've heard about George Soros Now imagine shit imagine you wish guy He looks like you who's that guy that oh, who's that Greek guy that owns Christides? Yeah cats as I'm obsessed with his daughter AJ cats one of my one of my favorite Instagram account. Oh really? Yeah of my one of my favorite Instagram account. Oh really? Yeah. Why is she nuts? She's nuts. She's very she's been the like president of the young Republican guild for years. She's she just very very skinny and wears like American flag bikinis. You know who's great is Billy Joel's daughter. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nick's Nick's ex. Yeah the downeaster. Alexa

We dated for about 45 years. Yeah. Yeah No, cuz it's like, you know, she's like, you know, she's Billy Joel's daughter So she'll make music and stuff right, but it's fine, you know, I mean it's But then the comments are all people who have like watched her grow up. Oh, just like like Long Island mutants Yeah, you're so beautiful you've always been beautiful Your work is beautiful. I love you beautiful blossom into a piano woman Yeah, exactly yeah, I check in on the Jackson kids to make sure they're okay with no parents Michael like blank Paris does music now blanket blanket doesn't have social media smart. I just hope blankets. Okay, too

It was so funny blanket the one that was dangled. Yeah. Yeah, that's so funny It was like something that was too overwhelmingly funny for us to even process Yeah, we weren't ready for that But it was just Michael Jackson is dangling a child whose face is covered in like some weird like textile, right? Well a blanket a play. Yeah The name blanket was really into martial arts for a while. That was his thing I just want to make sure they're they're okay Because there were a lot of like terrible things that people said about their father in the media aren't true that aren't true

And then his other his daughter the girl he had with is in Nosferatu Who's that? Lily rose step that's Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson's daughter. Yeah daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How was she? She was good Yeah, I liked it. Yeah who made it the witch guy of a bitch guy. Yeah Eggers. Is it scary? I don't like scary movies. The witch is better. Yeah, I was saying it to Pete It's like there's all this like to do about him remaking this movie. That's just Dracula It's like, you know, was it everyone's done dry. We've done Dracula. Was it Soros coded? Huh? Soros coded? No, it's just drag. No, it's good. It's a good Dracula movie

Oh, thank thank God the witch is better which is better than the original nose for R2? Yeah, the witch is great. What I I don't watch scary movies They don't scare me. They're fake There's no reason to watch the scary movie. I bet you know, it's scary dumpster scene Mulholland Drive. That is scary Yeah, it's the scariest thing I've ever seen. I'm trying to think what's the scariest thing I've seen in a movie That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in I trying to think what's the scariest thing I've seen in a movie That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in I as you know in Star Wars when they're in the trash room That's scary, and they're all yeah, they almost yeah, thankfully R2-D2 figures out the buttons Every time I see that They're gonna get out of here. Oh good

I need to figure it out as a. When I was a kid my parents like got a sitter and they went out to dinner and they rented me Dumb and Dumber and I cried when they gave the blind kid the dead bird They stole a Dumb and Dumber joke in that Apple TV series about the World War Two pilots Did you watch it? I watched it too. Huh? Did you watch it? I watched it. It's too distracting They're so handsome. Why is the fucking hair is not look the hair is insane I can't get awesome Butler comes back and like 30 of his friends have been killed and He's like a crash every guys died already and then he's got like fucking like teased and like perfect

You know like he like he's gonna go shoot a watch ad and then he licks a metal pole But yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh the joke is like, you know He a guy spills the salt and they're like you gotta throw the salt and he throws the entire thing That's funny, you know, they're like, you're not supposed to throw the whole thing It's like I'm the I'm the guy from the south. I'm the World War two guy from the south I don't know any better pilot in Georgia. We throw the whole salt South well, I was I said I'm laughing I said this I said this before on the show, but I'll say to God I don't care but we we I was with like a group of people in Austin Butler was at the same place

And every girl was like he's disgusting and every guy was like I'm gonna hit you in the face right now Oh really defending he's hot for us He's hot to guys, but he's not girl hot girls Like like the rat fuck from the from the working at a restaurant show Ratatouille the rat guy from the working. I work at a restaurant. It's so hard. I mean what ratatouille Yeah, it's not a restaurant. It's it's like the rat under the hat I mean what gratitude yeah, it's not a restaurant. It's it's like the red under the hat He's no it's from FX. He's a mouse that lives under her name a

debris a o Is in the patent Oswald? No, it's the one with a it's the rat guy with the penis They've the Calvin Klein padded rat penis Oswald is the cock rat from the from the restaurant show You think Pat and Oswald's penis looks like him? I guarantee you that. Yeah. Oh, you see? Yeah. Did he ask you to jack off? It would be funny if he had like a brian posain penis, you know, but then and then and brian posain had a patten oswalt penis. Yeah, and that's why they've been action. Yeah, yeah, they just clicked together. Yeah, connection. Yeah, yeah, they just click together. Yeah, like the hole is all wide.

I mean it's like short and stubby and it's got like a like a wide hole. Yeah, yeah, I can see it. Oh man, he nuts. It just looks like a stick of gum like an old like an old nineties printer. It's a it's a solid. Yeah, that's it just looks like a stick of gum it comes out like an old like an old nineties printer. It's a it's a solid yeah. Yeah, yeah, I wonder if his house is on fire right now. Hopefully not yeah. Wait, what about Jay Leno's garage? No, that's her banks fine. It's climate controlled yeah, but no climate change in that garage if he loses all those cars is his face. Okay, didn't he fuck up his He gets fucked up constantly himself. Oh somebody told me that was like I heard it was gambling debts

That was a big internet somebody said it was gambling debts and it's like who who is Jay Leno like he's like I'll have the $20 next week because he doesn't touch his late-night money so yeah good theoretically lose I'll just take the ass kick it go ahead beat my head see if I care I'm already dead on the end a little what happened I fell down a hill outside the Hampton Inn I don't have a problem that's that old Pittsburgh I think Occam's Razor is that all his cars are steam powered. You know what I mean?

He's just blowing up. He does have steam powered cars. I know. I've seen him driving a Studebaker. That's funny. He has cool cars. And then sometimes on a show, he's like, yeah. So this was originally owned by Donald Duck.

And I bought it for $800 million. And let's get the pedals, make the inflatable wheels move do you think him and Seinfeld respect each other's car knowledge or they have a rivalry they hate each other you think that yeah yeah they're trying to like a long probably trying to buy the same cars all the time yeah yeah they're yeah they probably fucking hate each other mm-hmm man I've never seen Seinfeld wear denim so you know think about that dude I'm team Jay all the way on yeah Monique Lewinsky yeah it does feel like it feels like Jerry Seinfeld's a rich

guy that started buying cars because he think you know he's already got the watches or whatever because it's like investment right Jay Leno was a car guy that became rich now he's like well instead of having children I'm gonna I'm gonna owe guys around town fifty dollars For my car yeah and have yeah, I have the biggest car collection. I'm gonna run away from the Armenian mafia Yeah in Burbank uh-huh geez Louise I hope just shout out to everyone in LA right now with it's not a laughing matter Joe lives there Yeah, your wife lives there. Yeah, you have a child or no. We have a dog dog. What kind of dog a pit bull?

What you want to see mine I saw a very funny looking pit bull the other day who my dog and no It was on the street. It had like a Chinese grandma face. So it was like It was like Judgmental yeah. Yeah I can't find it. That's fine. It used to be my background Is that a thing about them? They wear a mask on the sub I guess everybody does Chinese women that when I lived here before before and now like in retrospect I'm like, oh they were just being thoughtful. Yeah, it makes sense Yeah, yeah, not that I wear a mask or anywhere else for that

Yeah, or wash my hands or do my phone backgrounds been the same thing for 15 years I just changed it just to my girlfriend. It used to be my girlfriend It's crazy cuz that even at the time you're already a 20 year old picture I know but so HD. It's so good. So clear. But now that like you can't turn it off. Oh, that's beautiful That was on Christmas, which I celebrate now Did you celebrate Christmas She yeah, she is Gentile you just you started this year was great. It was both things at once

Are the fire and Christmas? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, we was great our tree I hope it turns out that this started because of an ammonia or if it was a menorah that started the fires We can't take that right now. Yeah, dude How great is anything but I would be doing a lot of smirking. This last year, this last year, the amount of smirking I would be doing. This last year has been Juju Juju Juju, and now the Indians are taking the heat. Oh, for the visas. Yeah, check out these guys. Look at Vivek. He's pooping on the street or whatever they're saying about them. Yeah. Thank God it took the heat off the Jews for five seconds. I'll tell you, the government efficiency office,

they're gonna blow all the money on all the ink. They got to spend on business cards It's the Parks Department said by like to top with Rajan to Jandian the dandelion Where's their Ellis Island They should have to if any you should take those should have to go through Ellis Island, it's the Indians What took with new like shorter last can you imagine? Yeah, can you imagine them an Indian guy try it? There's an Italian guy that's like a veto video le ori and they're like Joe Smith, you know, and then an Indian guy Yeah, they should all be named Steve. They're like, what's your name? And he goes What's your name? And he goes, Oh, you know,

who's the NSA guy? Huh? Do you think the NSA cash cash? That guy's all, anytime you see a picture of him, he's like fucked up. He looks like Gary Boosey just whispered something to him. He's like, like what the fuck dude? I'm getting excited for the second time around in a very funny moment right now. I'm getting Crazy in like oh we buy a green retweeted some like Jeffrey Sachs like clip like just yesterday And it'll be interesting to see

He's gonna drive everyone insane. We're gonna go we're gonna invade His opinion whatever our policy is is gonna be fucking nuts with the Middle East. Yep. It's gonna be like pro al-qaeda anti Israel You know Yeah, I mean even beyond form I mean like just the Greenland thing has just got me hyped and the Gulf of America thing got me that kind of makes sense So yeah, what's what's going on over there? We should have Greenland does ever piss you off how big like? Siberia's Nothing he probably only thinks of Greenland in like the flat map

Yeah, yeah, what could we even do up there? You put missiles there. So it's also all melting so it'll be like new trade routes I think that's what it'll be actually Greenland, but we should we should have Greenland. Yeah, why not? It belongs to what like Denmark? Yeah, fuck are they doing with it? Yeah, they don't do it was a it was an episode in Borgen Was that like boss? It was like Bosch. It's like, uh, it's like Danish West wing. I show you during COVID. I really love it.

They have a Toby and stuff. Um, it's not like one for one. It's not one. It should be, but they, but they do. She does have an advisor. Toby, have you seen my cuckoo clock? I've been going back to my clogs. Toby, I've been going back through just to remember when times were nice.

It's nothing's changed. That's my liberal woman. Watched West Wing and it's like all the same shit. No, it's not. It's like should kids wear uniforms? People are people are people are a mistake. Should gay guys go to the army? The the the the closet.

Yeah, the closet. Now I should like going back 20 years and that's it. Should gay guys go to the army? Going back 20 years and that's it It's a social issues are the fucking same everything. What do you talk? It's it's just like it's all nothing issues It's like nice to hear about gun control. It's drugs. It's fucking gun control I guess is that's one, you know LGBT stuff Q didn't exist at the time gay guys Like you know LGBT stuff Q didn't exist at the time. Hey guys now the army is all gay guys Isn't it crazy that? Got like reappropriated is where there's an like if in like string theory or something There's like a universe that exists like right here where it's LGBT F

You know what I mean yeah, like there's another timeline where we're just there another slur yeah Like we're faggots Like I'm not why identifies You mean but there you can't if you say they're like don't I made the other you know, I majored in fag culture in the I majored in fag culture. In the unit. The time cop alternate timeline.

Where everyone has a cool 80's mullet. But everything else is the same. Except that's also **** is the bad word. And **** is the bad word. Which we should probably, we should bleep **** because right now we're talking in the context of We're in that universe. We're in the quantum realm.

That would be great. If there was like, they got the like season 35 of quantum leap That was the episode the n-word is a good word Yeah, we're everybody yeah for white people are called Scott Bacula being like why is everybody calling? We close Yeah, he's white yeah, yeah Everybody calling Wait clothes is sure much. Yeah, he's white. Yeah, yeah Okay, what am I talking about

Cornbread I got to try one of these for the new Wallace and grommet movie cornbread makes organic THC gummies that are 100% legal swap alcohol for a guilt-free option. It's worked for a lot of people. Dry January, New Year's resolutions, healthier choices in 2025 going beyond the resolutions. Guys in 2024 it was reported that more people now use THC than drink daily. More people are rethinking their relationship with alcohol looking to drink less but still have fun and cornbreads, organic THC gummies offer a better way to hang out Celebrate relax without a hangover cornbread was great. I remember I saw there will be blood on it I would tell you this we're gonna spruce up the cornbread THC read by telling the story There's a have you ever met the comic Jake Young? No, he probably would have been doing stand-up around

Your time in New York. Yeah, he was a DC guy. It was a funny guy. He's a big, big fat guy, but he was like, he was like one of those like nerd comedians. He would do like comic book comedy and stuff like that. And, and he got an opportunity to open for Brian Posey and does his dick look like that's the exactly because he looked like Patton Oswald and Brian Poise was like you remind me My friend's penis or however Brian talks or my penis. Yeah, right my own penis. You look like my penis He said it he said you look like my We heard Brian Poise, you know smokes weed or whatever and so he asked our friend

Jordan to like roll him a joint that so that in the green room. He could be like and Jordan to like roll him a joint so that in the green room he could be like, fucking, we're gonna smoke weed or whatever, Brian Posey, and it seemed cool. And you know, he's a nerd, so he had Jordan roll the joint a month in advance. And so he was holding on to the Brian Posey joint that he would present in the green room

to show that he smoked weed. And then he went to go see, I think it was Wally. I think Wally was the movie they went to go see I think it was Wally. I think Wally was the movie. They went to go see in the movie theater and Like Jordan was like do you smoke weed at all and he's like no and he was like I'm trying you should probably try to smoke weed first So he's like well like he's like, but I only have the Brian Poisson joint He's like I'll roll you another joint dude And so the smokes of Brian Poisson joint and I guess he's upset about smoking his special Brian Posse joint

So they're in Wally a baby. He's not feeling very good Started he had to leave halfway through the movie because he thought the people sitting next to him were texting the police that he was high Wait is it true that Doug Benson started smoking weed at like 53 years old? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And then now now it's his whole thing. Yeah, I really don't trust like anybody that starts late But he's doing the marijuana logs. I don't know what I'm talking about Benson is old as shit. Yeah, he was Adam Sandler's roommate, right? He's like I think he's like a sheki greens roommate. He's old Dick Gregory He's a

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every time you say the name it grows on me a little bit more. You like the name cornbread th because initially it's like I just think of that movie life bread shouldn't be remember that movie life with Eddie Murphy but then you know then you associate it with getting high and you're like actually cornbread is delicious. It is it's awesome okay and it's cheap too. That's the best part. Anyone can make it and you can have it during dinner, even though it's kind of a little deserty. Yeah listeners can save. I don't really like sweet cornbread. I like it with jalapeno and cheese. Oh yeah, that's the move. I like it just

plain. So anyway guys, we could say you can say I like it with a glass of wine I know I'm not supposed to say that Yeah, no, come on. You're not supposed to say this is instead of a glass I like it with cornbread THC gummies. You take them a call out of the cage You set it down at the dinner table you light your candelabra Yeah, yeah guys you open your time lock safe when you pull out the latest Garfield comic one You're allowed a day. Oh the trades. I'm reading the trade. Yes Garfield Listeners can save 30% off your first order just head to cornbread hemp comm

Listeners can save 30% off your first order just head to cornbread hemp comm Slash ta FS use code ta FS a checkout. That's cornbread hemp comm slash ta FS use code Tafs cornbread hemp. This is the good life Okay, thanks cornbread when we're back. So you're weed you're you're like really into it or no and I used to be but I'm not sure on that But your I actually have been getting fed a lot of like Crow and Raven content on my social media. Oh, okay people who have like Ravens as pets Yeah, like they're very smart bird. Yeah, like I'm kind of intrigued I don't want to like make that my whole identity, which I think it would become. We found a, I found a hurt bird when we were in Canada. It got hit by a car. It was in the middle of the street.

Yeah. What kind of bird? It was a crow. And then all the other crows were in the tree screaming and the thing was like stunned in the street. So I took it out of the street and it was like, you know, I don't know what to do with it. So we found an animal hospital down the block. And so I took it to the animal hospital. And they snapped its neck. They did. They probably hospital down the block So I took it to the animal and they snapped its neck they did they probably kill it Yeah, but they were like a Gall style. I like to her chiropractor Yeah, I think didn't we I showed them I talked to them for a second at that I think they said that the bird was just like in shock. It didn't yeah, it was like seriously hurt. It just got dinged

Yeah But I like to imagine that bird somewhere like if I were if I were in the fires in Los Angeles You go for the bird like what is well they would come in Yeah, I can save you save me and then I would be flying off well crows famously hold grudges like generationally I'll teach their children to hate yeah, but they also remember if you if you're nice to them Also, especially a Canadian. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's also the group of them is called a rape Did you know that a rape of crows in Kent? Yeah. Yeah in the in the other why you a master be a downloading child pornography of crows

Think that's what it's called. I don't know what the etymology is to that. It's so weird. I think that's what it is. I think that's probably what it is. A pedophile of crows. What is a downloading child pornography of crows? Birds for 800. Show me your bird for 800 no

that's wrong challenge challenge this is the first challenge and shoot and Jennings three to one just like a black smoke rifle just a gaston gun on the end just kill some Asian lady that's you say challenge failed after you I'm sorry. This is my first time on Japanese My first time I've never been on fucking jeopardy. I never seen this show, dude I thought it was fucking the most dangerous suitcase with Howie Mandel Those that suitcase crap. I remember when I was in college I came I took a bus here and I saw you do stand-up. Really? It was like years ago. That's great. At Big Terrific. At Big Terrific. Yeah. And was that at

Cameo? No it was like in the back of a, what was that the name? There was a back of a bar in Brooklyn. It's like where vice is now vice bought that whole area I still existed. I don't know about I don't know if it's still vice, but yeah vice bought that all and destroyed it That's crazy advice is that whole era is just gone Yeah, and I don't think people will ever be nostalgic about it or care about it about what I don't like to Williamsburg's 2010s fucking oh no for me that was the dawning of the age of Aquarius That was that was hate Ashbury 1969 to me. You know, it's crazy I think about this all the time like nobody refers to this as the 20s. That's already taken. This is just bullshit

Yeah, it's just you can catch you will last the last decade when I was 21 I was like man, I'm gonna be like a 20s guy. I imagine myself. I had like a big roadster. Yeah, no, I thought that. I thought it would curl your mustache. I hate that. I don't like the way it feels. That was happening 2009 Williamsburg. There was like a penny farthing style. Yeah, but it was a mishmash of all sorts of things. Like the pants were too high. It was weird. You did that book of them book of them yeah that era was very good to me yeah yeah yeah I where you got groupies off a look at this fucking hipster blog there were chicks they were like that's gotta I got a urban

outfitters book out of it that's pretty good yeah that in 2009 urban outfit yeah I mean that's Pete yes huge yeah yeah urban outfit. Yeah, I mean that's Pete. Yes huge. Yeah. Yeah Urban outfitters are still around Just like one or two of them. No, they're still around. Yeah Yeah, you can steal it's like Hudson. I always thought it'd be cool to go there You go there with like $500 dude and you buy every Album there to create the sickest record collection of all time People come over like oh my god, dude. The Pink Floyd ass. You got Pink Floyd ass?

You got Pink Floyd's ass? Asses by Pink Floyd? And Metallica? Oh my god. There was a Ween album when I was in like 6th grade. It made me so horny. It was just like, it was the first time I'd ever seen, what do you call it, like Australian cleavage or whatever.

What is that? It's like the bottom of the boob. Oh, under boob. Oh, I didn't realize that was called Australian. Oh, cause it's like, I thought that was called the net. Cause it's down under. Yeah, the net cleavage. Cause it's down under.

Yeah. So that was like, I feel like that was my version of the ass album was the ween what am I you know what I'm talking about that with all the way that was a famous poster I suppose whatever that was a poster on college all their it was like Bob Marley with a lion coming out of the back of his head and then like chicks chicks Go in the dark gnome Yeah, I know but I remember when I saw you go up you were talking you were working at Maury at this time You're talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, that was so worked at Maury. I was an intern at the Maury povish

Oh interesting. I love that show so much at Maury. I was an intern at the Maury Povish. Oh interesting I love that show so much. It was yeah, it was great Do you remember when the internet was just memes that just described what the picture was? It was no joke and I remember there was one that was like when you a Jewish N-word and you got the baddest Asian chick and the hood still fuck with you I feel like that picture of Maury could have just been the picture of Mari and then just the end. Yeah, it would work the same. Then we're doing all the lifting was he was he called me gay in front of like a whole crowd. Everyone, everyone come into the

room real quick. I have something to say to Joe. No, it was like during a taping. Why did he call you gay while he was on stage? Yeah, like so I audience audience a little piece of paper. So what it was, it was a, it was a no, not pretty close. Actually you open up the envelope, your gay results are in your parents are crying. Yeah, yeah, my dad's like celebrating no so it was a it was a geek to chic episode which is like when it was a Jesus Jens episode yeah and so you we were told by the producers we were sitting my friends and I were

sitting in the in the front row and we were told to like cheer for the women when they like walked by when they the hot version yeah struck by in their bikinis did you boo the ugly version so no the the hot one i just like i was doing a bit where i was like kind of i was pretending to be frightened of them and then he stopped he stopped the taping and he was getting his like makeup done so he came out with like wearing a makeup bib and was like jo Joe like she's a beautiful woman stop acting gay and then the whole crowd was like It was in the hood fucked with that. Yeah. Well, they didn't make the air but it was it was a Memory, I was hilarious. I would have killed myself

Do you ever see you're remember when Sean Patton and Sean O'Connor and different guy went on Tyra Banks his show Oh the it's the thing guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah with the they had like Sean O'Connor and a different guy went on Tyra Banks's show. Oh, the it's the thing guys. Yeah Yeah, yeah with the they had like Sean O'Connor had like a whale puppet Mm-hmm, and then like they were like trying to set comedians up like it was like women have hard time meeting guys So we got three comedians, right? Women say a sense of humor and so they're all they all acted as weird as possible So like Sean Patton goes to a bar with somebody. He's like, he's like, yeah, I want to pitch some jokes I'm working on, you know, and the jokes are like

just the most offensive, you know, things like pro lapses. Like says black bitches. It's like, you know, I forget what it was, but I brought it up to him one time and he was like mortified. Yeah. It was so funny. My friend of a friend, her brother was a producer on Tyra and They had an episode where a lady they were like a lady had two vaginas and so Tyra talked to her and then they got all these like letters and calls that

like they were like I also have two vaginas and so they had a follow-up episode and He told me that the intro Tyra was like looking to camera. She goes behind me I have nine women and 18 Apparently she's a nut do you ever see the one where she she like it was like April Fool's Day and she pretends she got bit by a dog She like tells us she comes out and she's acting all like Shaken up and she tells the crowd it wasn't a good show because she's like not a great comes off like heartless

She seems like she doesn't really care about anybody and nor does she like know how anything works Yeah, so she's just acting strangely, but it's April Fool's Day or whatever So everyone knows that like it's a print like she's doing a bit, but it's not even a good And then she like she goes. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just some water and then you see her like take a pill. Oh, she throws up blood Yeah, there was one episode where they had like it was a guy that worked on the show was like either an intern or producer or something that wanted to like propose to his girlfriend and So he decided to propose her on the show But they were gonna trick her.

And so they film it where he goes to meet up with her, and then he starts breaking up with her on camera. And this woman's like, like reacting, and then he's like, actually, I'm just kidding. Do you wanna get engaged? And she's just like, what? Yeah, did he yell tyrant prank? Cause that was what she yelled. I don't

Yelling tyra prank. I remember being like I was a kid and I saw it and I'm like this is Fucked up. Yeah, I'm gonna psych stew. Yeah, why would you do that? Yeah, it's it's like That arrow is really good, but I think someone died from Jenny Jones So they had to like pull it back before that though was that before that? Yeah Yeah, I think like but that's like for me and that gets pinned on Jenny Jones and it's not even really like her fault No, it's like those guys those guys were they were gay with each other They were butt fucking each other anyways, and then is that what they were doing? Then one of them took one of them outed the other right? That was what the guy said I have a crush on

Yeah, I have a crush on my straight friend But they were like they flew there together. I think is like I got something to tell you on Jenny Jones He knew each other in the hotel and they went on the show. Oh, yeah, it was a show called Richard Bay I think it was like a Nancy Pelosi's husband kind of situation. It wasn't heat with a hammer. Yeah, it was a date gone wrong Blamed it on Jenny Jones with a hammer? Yeah, it was a date gone wrong. Blamed it on Jenny Jones. Just like the thing. There was a show called Richard Bay that ruled because it was very similar to, um, it was very like, uh, you know, Jerry Springer, that type of show, but then it always ended. It then just turned into like double dare where they had to like work together to win a prize

game show at the very end. so they would be like the just work functional families yelling at each other, and then it was like well. We have a kiddie pool full of pudding, and if you work together and you find the price, yeah, like would do it. It was probably actually work yeah. It really like really that's like a form of therapy. People need to try yeah. No, I I would just always associate their shows with being sick at home from school because those were those shows were on all day long and just like being in fourth grade watching Jerry Springer and be like this is awesome like this lady. This lady is a is cheating on her

boyfriend like yeah, but I've missed that man every day. He was truly the best. Yeah, the Steve Wilco show is pretty good That's yeah that that one was was a kind of peak Yeah, he took what really worked about really worked, but then it was also so produced I remember they had an episode where there was a guy that was like I'm not it was like the title of the episode was I'm not gonna stop having sex with my 12 year old daughter And then see yeah, then he took the chair away. Of crows.

That's one of those. The 12 year old daughter. He brings on the guy, Steve Wilcox, and the guy's like, I'm not going to stop. And Steve Wilcox just takes a chair, and his thing was throwing the chair into the flats, and having the chair stick into the flats. It's impressive.

Like the chair. And then he'd go, get the hell off my show. Yeah. And it's like, well, why did you bring him on the show in the first place? Someone's job is to get him tickets. You were saying some shit about how people would call and just say, hello, Morrie.

Yeah, that was my job was the 800 number. Morrie was taking the calls. Hey, Morrie, what's up? Yeah, no, that was try. I actually, I couldn't handle the phone calls because they were so like, uh, it was too intimate to sad. It was too sad. Yeah. And so they were like, well, we have a whole room of Maury's mail that no one's personal mail like letters, like like the letters that so my job because no one else would do it I got to sit in a room on a couch and open up letters and read them and then put them into bins that were

Categorized by show genre so it'd be like, you know drawings of Maurice penis Yeah, I mean one one bin was just excellent comes in who the fuck mixed up the patent and Brian Poisein penis drawings You have each other's penises how many times do I have to tell you this It was that fact More you can't say that at tonight show we have a man from another dimension where faggot means cool guy he was I mean like everyone was terrified of him but like like I yeah, I think he he weirdly remembered me as the gay intern but also because I was the only person who like

Was brave enough to like knock on his door and ask for a photo with him because everyone we were told like don't look like looking Don't look at the guy. Yeah But he was cool. I got a photo with him. He's funny you yeah, he was funny when he called you Yeah, it was cool. That was where he is But I was hoping that they'd keep it in but then we had to reshoot it and I had to like You should have taken it too far Shocked and you just quietly ejaculate on the floor What I'm not?

Used to seep out of the boys what? Do wrong I've never had a job before I'm 31 years old. This is my first job out of law school. I just got this American Apparel Front zip hoodie because I'm trying to make it a nerd comedy Yeah, watch my special watch my special watch show special. Please What's your radio thing? Well, you guys talk about the movie radio. Oh Nick loves the movie radio So I I've haven't been able to use this idea ever So this is this is the this is the place I had an idea for a sequel to radio

Okay, where radio has a younger brother Who is even video? Well, no, well, I don't even be a video Even more developmentally challenge. Oh, even more. Yeah. Okay. And the whole movie is, is video trying to convey something to radio and they're both just, there a lot is a lot's going on, but they, they're just, they cannot,

he cannot communicate this message. and eventually radio realizes that video Has gender dysphoria and he helps him get a transition and it's radio to Transistor. Oh, okay. All right, you could have sold that I think six years ago Yeah, I think they were they would have thrown money at that six years ago I should have done it then shit yeah if that didn't win an Oscar I mean it's just yeah I mean that in the most racist country but Trump wins truck if the trans radio reelected yeah trans radio sister radio all right thanks for joining us everyone thank you Joe