The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Cannon - Episode 75

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mike Cannon - Episode 75 Mike's new special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox42kz7j5mU Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS Subscribe to  @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs Sign up to Patreon for Premium Podcast Episodes and to Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/TAFS -- LIVE SHOWS: ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland #mikecannon

And welcome to the Adam Friedland show guys I just off-top I want to say that I had I was just in London I had like my shows filmed there, so I'm gonna be releasing 20 minutes of that show of stuff material. I don't want to put on a special that I Spent money filming it so well consider it an EP the London EP That's what you didn't want to say before we started. I did want to say What I said, can I say something? I thought you were saying can I say something before we said I don't want to say that I'm gay Oh, okay, because I'm in the closet still as a homosexual man. Interesting. I haven't released the this extensive amount of stand-up

So it's very nervous. I'm nervous guys Because you know when you try at something It's different than a pot and you guys can call me gay on a podcast as much as you want It'll never really hurt my feelings Because I don't know I get I have sex You know once every two weeks probably so you can't really hurt my feet, but if I try really hard at

stand up and then someone says something it'll always a little bit. You know what I'm there's nothing more vulnerable my canning putting an effort trying is very scary. Because if someone says it's gay then you're like I think so too. Yeah deep down I've been telling myself it's gay to down and the Internet just fuck you but fuck you. I'm excited. I think it looks good. I've been editing it all week and it's fun. I think it's fun. Are you going to call it? What are you going to call it? I well my friend was going to name his book. It's wrong to be Jewish and he didn't. He decided not to. Okay. And he said I could have that name but I think it's it's still like I don't I'm just going

to say London two nights. Sure. London calling London calling. I'm calling it London calling two nights in London, the EP, so everything that's not on there is what's going to go on an hour long special, but I don't know. I have to release this material before the rest of Gaza is dead because there's a lot of topical. I think at this for this death toll, it's appropriate gotcha. Once the rest of Gaza's gone, what's the scale that it'll be in poor taste that it'll be in really poor taste. Once Kamala you know once Trump is in jail you know once once he's in a you know a non-binary prison or whatever with is that what Kamala is doing. She's she's doing men's and women's prisons together that I didn't know that

All genders prisons, yeah speaking of London you could just announce that you're a woman and then you go into a woman's bride I did get nervous there because they don't have free speech, right? Pretty crazy if they sexually integrated the prisons and you go to prison as a guy and you still get raped Yeah On the last episode we were getting a lot of it. I was getting a lot of answers About prison answered for me. Yeah, cuz I was always like you should just say I'm stop It's this should be against the rules to rape but then you have to go to productive custom custody Yeah, and then you just have to hang out the pedophiles Oh is that yeah, that's all that's down there, right? And then you got to rape a pedophile just I don't think that

Listen, I don't think I would be trying that But you don't know what happens when a man is confined. It's true Options are dried up So my friend was telling me recently how much like long-term care for your parents is Once they go to a home and it's like 10k and I just I wish there was an option where you could just send them to Ryikers Like if my dad doesn't there should be a parents when your parent has full-blown like has lost their mind They there's no option to for them to be a ward of the state or some sort of no that absolutely Yeah, is that where?

If you like I think Medicare covers like nursing homes. They're just shitty. They're awful. Yeah, it's where you get like Molested right and so no not really. It's just you have like a Southeast Asian woman. It smells like pee more Okay, Mr. Addie, you know, they don't really take care of you I remember we said my grandma to one and it was the cheaper one and then we were like I remember we sent my grandma to one and it was the cheaper one and then we were like It's it was smells so much of pee. Yeah that we had to go for the expensive one But even the expensive ones are a fucking nightmare you hear it like, you know, they rob it I my wife's grandparents are kind of going through it right now where they're going from facility to facility Depending on their current state. And it just like even

the nice ones that cost so much money, they're trying to squeeze even more out of you. They don't really take great care of you. All this, all the effort is seemingly half assed. Minimum. Yeah. 120 grand. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I mean that said right. State all these welfare queens can be shipped up to Rikers for free. Yeah. Well I can't that be part of bail reform. Well I think I remember my grandma kept escaping. That's why we had to get her out of the PP one because she kept that we just find her on the side of the like highway just like walking down the highway like that moving Nebraska. Yeah it's there is something very like white culture about walking

alongside like that was my mom 75 mile an hour interstate highway my parents were getting huge fights in traffic and my mom would just get out of the car and start walking on the shoulder of the highway nice I have so a couple of cholo's Get back in Kate come on Complains about the cost of soda Why doesn't it look like the pictures how come the sandwich doesn't look like pictures My mom only did that once and I've I still to this day feel really bad about it, but we framed her for a fart That was mine. No, and I think she was had hit her limit with something else in life. Mm-hmm And she just turges and we're like mom farted mom farted

She like slammed the door and I was like I farted that yeah as a parent I can relate to something that innocuous breaking me. Like just the pressure. How old are your kids now? They gotta be, it's like four. I have one that's five and then I just had one a month and a half ago. Oh, okay.

So I like just re-entered. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, this is like the most intense time too. It's the only time that I don't really like, I mean I love it. It's great to be a parent. It's very, very difficult. And as a dad, it's like pure production assistant work. Like I'm more or less running, getting coffee, doing all the, you

know, I'm not connecting yet. Yeah, yeah. You just started smiling so now I'm like oh I'm your dad. Yeah. This is great. Is it worse because you already went through it once? So in your head you're like well I know what to expect and then it's taking longer. It's, it's worse. It's gotta be easier, no? It's a little bit easier in the sense that I have a baseline of information that I did not have last time. Sure. It's where easy, you know It's a little bit easier in the sense that I have a baseline of information that I did not have last time Sure it's worse in the sense that the Exhaustion is more relentless because every time that my first son napped I would kind of nap alongside him

And I just in my head cast that aside. I didn't even I Didn't really think of that as anything But now every time my infant naps I turn in my five-year-olds like you ready to fucking rage, dude Yeah, let's let's Yeah, he's doing bombs are you doing the the Lewis and and Chris D like sending my kid to Little League MMA or no, don't you get to don't do I'm gonna get my son my five-year-old into it He's just so physical and here's well, this is two reasons one is he so physical kids fighting each other my son needs to get his energy out yeah but here's what's gonna happen in in 20 years there's gonna be something different there's

gonna be all these kids that know karate which will be pointless because everybody knows karate ratio of getting your ass kicked is still there. You know what I mean? It's like it brought the base. Yeah, so it's just now I mean there's gonna be like there's the world is gonna be probably it's probably it's probably the Jews. They're sending their kids to telekinesis classes now and they're the only ones that have access to it and yeah, you're gonna white when is crypto, jewelousr. Whatever his name is Podcasting you know at which at that point is just a sauna You can't turn off without a roof and wherever Louis has lived You know they're squatting now at this point who's has been dead for years

And and he's podcasting in there with Tim Dillon's son, who's adopted from Nigeria naturally, Tim Dillon Jr. And they're doing, he's like, we should, I wish my father had put me in telekinesis. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And now I sit here, I just look karate and podcasting. And it's his worst, he does nothing for me.

Tim Dillon's Nigerians. And podcasting and we'd see it whist he does nothing for me Yeah, I mean he's gay he's not gonna unless he's pregnant he could be we have no idea Under that shirt there's like 15 runs just sucking it. Yeah, it's just rows of nipples Did you see that? He looks like an elevator panel. He's like a dog. It's like a dog in a third world country documentary about the what he called instead of a state. That's a big like Hollywood secret is that Steve Harvey's buttons are actually there's nipples. Yeah, they're lactate underneath all the suit buttons. Yeah, practical. The body to cover up yeah yeah yeah he's Purdue yeah he's getting yeah he's got a bunch of little

neighborhood is a bunch of small bald black. There's a bunch of little diglets all over his body. There's a their tiny steves there. They're all bald with mustaches big Hollywood secret. Can't let that one out. Do you see the documentary with the day in a car show? The fail? Yeah, that that the first sketch that they opted to go with was the bill.

Bill Clinton had others and he was giving a presidential debate and breastfeeding like 12 kids at once. It's great. I love it. Yeah, it was. Well, I think the mistake was that they put it on after home improvement. Yeah. So that was on it like 830 at night. There are families that are like it's so funny because and that's like classic. They were told they could be edgy. They said there was a hard line from prime time to their show and that they could do a ton of different things. And they were like all right great. We'll come out firing and then they did that and people like there are families watching. What are you guys doing man

and it's very bizarre to imagine that like a family would be like all right kids come on it's time to watch home improvement like a family would sit down to watch home improvement. I watched tgif with my with my with your family. Yeah, I don't think I watched any TV like the TV was like that's where that you got placed in front of the television. Yeah What I watched that when my parents were still at work I would watch after school Mm-hmm, or like when I was sick that that that's when I'd watch Springer and yeah, yeah Jones Yeah, that's what I associate with being sick home from school and I got to see like prices, right? Yeah prices right was a presence. I was a big daytime thing. Yeah, maybe the rare occasion the TV would be on in the classroom

Yeah, sometimes where you're like is this special? It's like no the teachers drunk Somebody reminded me recently we we had a curriculum of the show voyage of the Mimi Did you guys watch that growing up? No, it was literally just like a TV show and they put it on in our science class young Ben Affleck is in it Yeah, and it's like just this deaf woman be like see T. Look at the whales Yeah, and they just point out whales and that's the extent of the knowledge they give I remember the TV would be on if there Was like I want to say there was a spaceship launch knows before

Yeah, it was like a spaceship launch or something that we had to like tune in for and then catching prices right during the day I remember the prices right or wheel of fortune and I didn't know what it was and then I was very nervous Because of fortune was Excited about it and I was like, I don't know what it was and then I was very nervous because real fortune was Excited about it and I was like, I don't know what this is. So am I supposed to know what this fucking wheel is? Well wheel of fortune I associated with my grandma's house because that was on a wheel of fortune than jeopardy Before the news. Yeah, and so me and my me and my sister would go over to my one grandma's house who? who later on we put in the pee-pee place. And she was like of that generation,

she used the Holocaust, it just didn't happen. It couldn't, no yeah. She's like if it started, she'd be like, oh, of course, today's the Holocaust, I forgot. So she was like, the joke would be that she'd make, she'd buy one steak, right? And then put it in the oven. Of course, meat shrinks when you cook it.

And so we'd get like two slivers of a steak and then like three carrots and two peas. And then my mom would have dinner ready for us. Because of course we'd have to eat also at 4.30 in the afternoon dinner with my grandma. And so then we'd have like a second dinner waiting for us but that would be like the joke is like she'd like serve us and we'd like be trying not to laugh just a dehydrated meal apparently her family like I used to think that she was posh and my uncle

told me he's like you think that she her family had money he's like they were horse thieves he's like there were 12 brothers and sisters they were all born in different towns because they kept getting kicked out for being such trash. He said their family he said their family were so poor that their brag was to open their window and to throw their garbage onto the street to brag that they had food. Yeah and I always thought this lady was like she's she had like airs and graces, but it was all fake. Yeah, I mean, I've come to similar realizations to that because my father's from Levittown,

Long Island, the baby boomer town, that whole thing. And I mean, is that the first suburb? I remember learning this. I was the first time they did a planned community. Well, they built one in Pennsylvania. There's a Levittown, Pennsylvania, and then there's a Levittown, Long Island, and then both of which were like, that's where the club is. Battlegrounds. Yeah. Battlegrounds for like racism and gerrymandering and all

that shit. And there was like, I think one black family, when you say battlegrounds, you mean like there was no battle at all. They just decided that racism was not really much debate about it. There was one battle, one family, and they kept getting Molotov and the father made their family stay and fight through it I remember learning like a black family the black family. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, didn't Stern grow like in one of those places and then yeah, and then he went to an all-black Yeah for high school same where Eddie Murphy went or something like that. Yeah, I think so very funny place. Am I?

Yeah, and that's where you look you found a small penis that is according to private part that's my Island is that they is the reason it's so fucked up is because they made they tried to make Suburbs before like city folk are really ready for it. Yeah, you needed like an intra like city folk are really ready for it. You needed like an intra-generational shift before the suburbs could actually exist in concept. And they tried it in Long Island first

and then now you get all these like freaks that have like a yard and they shouldn't. You know what I mean? Well, that was, the transition happened too fast because it would always go from like Ireland or Italy to the Bronx, to the suburbs. That was the move. And that either like kicked out to Long Island or Jersey County or New Jersey

Yeah, and yet it usually would happen sometimes before they were ready. They didn't even acclimate to the Bronx let alone That's yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, so it was just a fucking mess But my fat like it was one of those things where I thought I grew up My parents were kind of just a little elitist and and I grew up thinking that was my family in Long Island, that's not me, but as I've aged, I've realized that that is my DNA blueprint, is just like uncut white trash. Yeah, but Long Island is also ghettoized too,

where they're incredibly waspy rich places, incredibly Jewish rich, like East and West Egg, and West egg and like you know, yeah, yeah But this is like little rascals dirt on the cheeks like, you know Everybody running around no parents. I've only seen that Long Island depicted in one movie which I think is like so it's such fertile territory for like Like making us like a storytelling or whatever, but it's in that for like, uh, like making us like a storytelling or whatever, but it's in that, uh, the Adam Sandler, Chris Rock movie that's smart.

They made with smile called the night of about their kids getting married. It's like a later Sandler movie, but it's like the only depiction of mid Island, like the kind of like long Island where like they brag about that Snapple is from here. You know what I mean? Like that's all they have. Yeah. Yeah. Like the, I, yeah, the Islanders and Snapple is from here Like that's all they have yeah, yeah, like the I'll be at the Islanders and then Snapple Yes, we all they have I'd love it too. I mean there's something I I love that shit Well, what's crazy too is before like Levittown before that, you know They built the fucking highways and made Long Island what it was. There was old money on the North Shore I guess yeah for the most part part, the culture of Long Island was like, goes back to the, it didn't evolve culturally

from the late 1500s and 1600s up until like the fucking 1920s and 30s. And so the islanders were like, I mean they were like seafaring, you know like like weird, you know, they were like British, you know, like... That makes sense with the LOGA. It like doesn't even fit Long Island now. Yeah, it was all like Bay men. So they're like, you go out on the water and you get the fish and they fucking... Like a perfect storm. Yeah, literally. It was like that. But even that still got like, I mean, they're like New England guys kind of but it was like yeah, this is like bizarre

That's why a man culture of just fishing and then owning nothing. I guess if you're fucking yeah, I Get my really I only know that from the song Downey's to relax. I don't There's still some like full-time pirates though that live on Long Island. Yeah, well not according to the song I know yeah The source material there's no island left for islanders I remember when I was little I met one of my father's friends KB who had literally like he had all of his teeth From this side to the middle and then none of his teeth from this side to the other side And he was just one of those dudes who had never left the water never lived on like solid ground

Constantly was just going from from bar to bar that he could tie his boat up to shit-faced and just honestly It looked like an ideal life. I heard the North Fork still has spots like that. Yeah of like Suffolk County. Yeah Yeah, yeah, like salty ass like yeah, just weathered weathered skin Yeah Yeah, just weathered skin. I went to, like my girlfriend's family has a place in the Springs, like out way east. I met a guy years ago and it was on some job, I can't remember what it was, but he was like, he had come from like an island or family that goes back, so his parents were sailors and then he learned how to sail and he was very good at sailing so then he got a job He like worked just sailing ships for rich people like they're fucking yachts and stuff Or they would buy a sail like a rich person by a sailboat

They're like I want to get to the Caribbean the faster, you know, like so they hire him to win races for them Yeah, sickly. Yeah, but that was his like life. I guess leading up to I can't remember I want to say it was like PA or something. I wish I could remember where I met that guy That's sick though. I mean that isn't that that's that would be the goals Yeah, it's like competitive sailor. I'm real you just cut through the chop for some rich people Monica you get to fuck Margot Robbie Yeah No, I we we got he's like I know this guy who's got the best scallops and he just lives on his boat Mm-hmm, and he's one of those guys but though he was like, yeah, he's just on Tina and I was like, what's that?

He's like like Chris Christina Aguilera like crystal like oh, so yeah Yeah, I think I mentioned on the show before but they just do crystal and they're the best at getting fish Yeah. Yeah, they're the best at getting fish. Yeah Yeah, they're like locked in on getting Yeah Yeah, but great guy Great scallops perfect storms actually a great movie. I love that movie I remember being disappointed by when it came out maybe because I was a child and I was like expecting them to like survive

In the end when they're like and everyone And I was like expecting them to like survive so in the end when they're like and everyone Everyone die every character is dead at the end of the movie It's not like one. There's not one of them where it's like you know the black eye and the white girl They make it like oh, I didn't think it would be them, but you know it's like none of them I always wondered how they even knew what happened like I I guess they got the coordinates of the boat and shit. Yeah, it just went missing. But they just, I mean, you know, they- No, it's all fictional.

I don't know any of those conversations. Yeah. Yeah. That's what always fucked me up when I was a kid though. Like based on a true story, I believe that wholeheartedly. Where I was like, oh, this is what happened verbatim. It was probably like five minutes in, they're like, I don't know,

the storm's looking pretty bad What do you think just gave fuck till the end? We just orgy We all fuck each other into the storm and Then and then it was it was it was 37 hours just hardcore rough trade Yep, just no protection three decks in one man. Yeah PG-13 right there's so much blood even you don't even process it. Well, that's how they caught the fish. Yeah, right Lucy guys have you used nicotine products? I know not anymore not anymore

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my Lucy in the morning or when I'm having a midday slump, you know, I get terrible news. You know, I've burned my life to the ground and I pop one of those in and You know, it's just it accompanies but my life is still burnt to the ground. I'm really cooking on nicotine At the golf course to those that's really good. Are you a golfer? I have yeah, I am a golfer I've actually I've done it there where it has locked me in for like a hole or two I'm not very good at all, but it gave me a little bit extra I just think I just golfed in Ireland for the first time I just did a link scores it is goddamn impossible did you get the hat yeah I did get the hat of course I didn't get the the palm on top huh what did you say the knickerbockers? You drag the middle of that word on the first time

I didn't catch I just heard how people's life There. Oh, come on. Joe's Rolling seek I'm 37 years old. I have a lot to lose right now. I have an EP coming out. I have an EP 20 minutes of topical material on the on the war on Kamala stuff. I have to burn. I didn't say that word and Lucy would never say that word. That's for sure. And they would never tell me to say it. I got the hat. I didn't get the you know the short pants. Sure. Yeah. That's for sure and they would never tell me to say it. I got the hat. I didn't get the you know, the short pants sure Yeah, that's a New York basketball team with the Ark Isle socks named at four

They chose the name. It's weird that that's not what they didn't call They didn't call bagger van, you know, I'm That that wasn't the title of that movie I Had no idea that it was like a golf pants thing I Didn't say that word imagine that movie coming out of him was smiling in the cover and the title the knickerbocker And you said and then they're saying just try it pal Just fucking just try it just try us Just try it just go ahead fucking try wine scene pictures

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And we're back So let's say things escalate right? It's just we have to send people to the Middle East and then Russia does a birthright confrontation And then hooks are flying are we sitting here doing this still? the Middle East and then Russia does a birthright on vertigo confrontation and then they're flying are we sitting here doing this still yeah yeah yeah I was thinking about like do you know in the Titanic they're like and they kept playing as the ship went down and it's not like they were probably just like well I don't this is my job I don't know what down? I don't know. Yeah, maybe it'll be fine. Maybe the series will stay up.

Yeah, right. It's not even... And Kill Tony went home. You should have done that. And Retox tried to outstand up comedy. Maybe they all brought out the violence. The buildings are collapsing. That, yeah, I mean, something's got to start the new civilization so podcasting might be it Maybe that's the maybe that's the no the foundation. No, it's not gonna be that

Not if I have anything I think there should be more podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think just a couple of the CIA has a podcast now for sure like no I mean, they literally have it's the CIA podcast called the Langley files Oh, it literally does to CIA guys that sit around fucking podcasting Is it officially it is officially the CIA's podcast like like me undies Ads in the middle of a fire or whatever. Well, I would imagine their money mostly comes from selling heroin Yeah Who are the hosts? I don't know a couple of CIA guys. It's guys. Yeah, well at least it's guys

Yeah, I would get pissed off if it was If it was like girls, uh, yeah talking about coups That would actually that would make a difference in my massage It seems like that's what they're kind of aiming for with Iran That seems like that's the response they they're gonna try and force regime change, but without an invasion And I don't know is like could do is that possible isn't the only way propaganda is the only way to do a regime change by like finding a general that's like sure I'll kill all the citizens and then you're like great

here's a bunch of money and Intel and resources like you can't go to like women that want to wear scarves or whatever and be like, you can do it. You know what I mean? Like that's not how it works. You know what I mean? But you got the fucking the son of the Shahs like he's making all these videos now. They had an election for him. Did you see that? This video is like the, like, it's like the Washington Jewish Council or something. In DC they're at like, they're at a Kurt Shackelford show and they're like, I am pleased to announce His Majesty, the King of Iran, Shah Pahlavi. And then this guy comes out

and he's like, thank you, thank you so much. Where is he? What's the name of the young gun? What's that? Reza? Reza Pahlavi. Yeah, it's his name's also Reza Yeah, you know, I was talking to Ryan our Ryan on the phone. He's like, yeah, my dad's there right now visiting his mom Mm-hmm. I'm like, they're still Jews. He's like, yeah, they're still Jews. Mm-hmm I was like didn't they tell us that all the Jews got kicked out He's like no one of the funniest I saw a reddit post one time and there's a picture of like Tehran in the fall Which is very pretty. It's like it's a gorgeous country. Yeah, really pretty. And there's like a picture and it looks very pretty and they have, you can see, they have all this infrastructure.

They got a highway and this like beautiful architecture and like the top comment is just some reddit guy saying that's Iran with like the like inquisitive emoji. Like they really have people thinking that it's like fucking just like a desert Culture comes from there. Yeah, I was I was I went to the Middle East in 2019 I was in Jordan Kuwait and Bahrain. I forget which one kind of borders Iran, but they were saying that's team six some of the soldiers, I guess, I don't know if I should even say this, but a couple of them would go off base and like drink at a local bar and immediately be drugged and wake up and their entire bank accounts were empty and all the shit and they would go on Tinder

and find like an Iranian woman and meet up with them. And of course she worked for some other group. Yeah. it was like a huge problem I would imagine that happens everywhere except in Japan where the the soldiers go and rape 12 year olds That's apparently Pete. That's right. Isn't that like a big Navy problem? Yeah In Okinawa, yeah, they go off base and they rape children Wow, and it's like and it's Japan so they're like please stop disrespecting us they can't do anything about it these child rapes have got to stop but yeah that's hey look support the troops whatever but yeah is it local like local

army or ours ours oh ours yeah wow, they leave they go out into Japan and then they've been like you can't even tell how old they are Yeah, right. So you have no idea like the spontaneity of this show. Uh-huh got anything could happen at any anything could happen but Yeah, no, that's that's that's I would imagine that yeah, there's a lot of bases where People wander off and then yeah, you know, yeah. I mean it was weird in Bahrain. I went to this one. I can't if I was at a fucking bar here yeah and some guy in like a French Sapper uniform with the dumb hat was like trashed at a bar. I mean like let's steal this mother fuckers hat dude. Let's at least take his hat at the very least, not the entire uniform yeah and then see what

kind of goofy money he has. I think that's fair. Yeah, and it's also like yeah, they are doing the dumb thing anyway by leaving the sanctity of the base. They're going out there trying to pick up pussy in the middle of the middle east. Yeah, right. What do you think is going to happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we have, we have exciting times ahead of us. is gonna happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but we have we have exciting times ahead of us. Well, yeah, I guess it's like there's gonna be some kind of response to this ballistic missile attack. Yeah. It seems like, you know, it's funny because like... I'm honestly asking you, so I'm not being like fake inquisitive. I have a newborn,

so I'm so not like all everything that you're saying I'm aware that generally... Well, I'm also, I'm an imbecile, so I'm not the guy to ask. I'm even more so because I'm so not, like everything that you're saying, I'm aware that generally this is happening. I'm an imbecile, so I'm not the guy to ask. I'm even more so because I'm like, please feed me all the information you have. Yeah, I'll say things and then people will laugh and I'll be like, yeah, I guess that was a joke. You know? I guess so.

I meant it with my full heart, but sure. Yeah, sure, yeah. But no, it's funny because it's like, maybe not even the Mossad itself, but there's this mystique around the Mossad and how good Israel is at doing sneaky things. Sure. You know, with this, like, pager attack. But that cuts both ways because Israel's never been in a position, if any country that you

could carry out, like, a false flag attack on, they're more vulnerable than any other place in the world. If I'm like, if I'm the IRGC, what I'm doing, you could just fucking say the Ayatollah has a tummy ache and then launch the missiles, because they're like, well, the Mossad did it. And then, like half these people would be like, the Mossad gave them a tummy ache. They never saw it coming.

You know, it's like, you could do anything. You could blow up an empty fucking building in Tehran and just say oh they did It right and everyone would believe it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's the it's cuz the movie Munich Cuz they got a sexy Australian guy to play one of them. Who's the Eric Banner Eric Banner? That's right for not a comedian who was a comic apparently is funny. Oh Yeah, but yeah, but then it made them look more badass Yeah, yeah I mean the pager thing made it look pretty badass like that just from the outside Look at your thing. The videos look like looney tune

I mean yeah videos look like it looks like you ever see when they somebody like crawls through a maze of Mouse traps or something like that's kind of what it looked like firecrackers going off the footage looked like a hidden camera like prank show yeah it looked like trigger happy TV especially because a lot of the bombs went off at a Chuck E Cheese yeah Yeah, they were. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't look like as yeah as a yeah. It looked like because it was on TV too. Yeah. It was like it didn't like register like it was like a goofy prank thing. Totally. Well I was kind of more impressed before I knew that they coded the parts and something like it was that kind of I thought they could just access something that has already

Existed in the phones and just set them off. No, but I mean you gotta be pretty dumb if you're like Terrorists organ because I mean the the the world falls on one side or the other Yeah, either you're with fucking Russia and China or you're with the United States And right there you well, yeah, they bought them from fucking Taiwan. Why would you buy Taiwanese? Yeah, get it from run if you're an internationally recognized terrorist organization, don't buy Taiwanese electronics The idea the boxes weren't even sealed Don't try to get a good deal. Yeah Because Lord knows in Israeli probably fucked with it Yeah, it's probably the same store that like the Zohan worked out in Queens when I'm like I'm just impressed they could even find that many beepers in bulk

Like just in general. I didn't realize that those were still a sellable item. Yeah, well, they still use them in healthcare Doctors still use them because you use a different it doesn't use like cell phone that works. Gotcha It's like different technology. So right. It's like there's an emergency You need like, you know, if a bomb goes off and blows up all the fucking cell phone towers You still need doctors to be able to the hospital or nowhere to go. Damn. Yeah, make sense Yeah, if you need like a boob job Makes sense. Yeah, if you need like a boob job Quick to job

But the solar flare knocked out cell phones, it's I put on West Wing the other night. I love that show It's it's an awesome show. It's awesome. It's so funny, too It's it's like the second the second episode the very affable black White House doctor like the president meets him He likes him him you know and then he's he's blown up in Syria the White House doctor is killed by a rebel group in Syria who shoot an RPG at a fucking commercial jet like I guess 30,000 feet up in the air that was one of my least favorite things during like the Bernie era that the like Rose it was cool it was like a rose emoji thing to shit on the West Wing. I love that show. Yeah well I made that point now you're

saying no when you make that point that is multiple times that's that's fun when a relationship or a mine meld and then you don't know I wouldn't call it mind melding so much as an opinion I Internalized Honestly, what's your favorite episode of the West Wing? Yeah The pilot no, I like the season with the when Jimmy Smith comes into it the end of the show I like that I like the last two seasons where it's like they they saw those ones suck mmm, the early ones are better with with Josiah Bartlett who's like

Just such a shitty and it's funny rewatching it He's like he's sort of like what if Andy Rooney was the president right cuz he has all these Mixed he knows all these dumb soliloquies where it's like you know like okay all of the cities have been nuked and we need to make a decision it'll be sitting over at the Joint Chiefs he's like two weeks ago my daughter brought me a cookie she bought at the store and I went to open it for her but the packaging was too difficult to open I'm sitting here thinking I don't want to it's like a cookie. I want to eat my cleaning about yeah But to get to some dumb at the end

Did they make a movie before the show like is this the Mike Douglas and redhead chick movie? Oh the American president That's what I'm thinking of okay. I'm thinking of something was that working who made that that made that no idea I don't know I think these are completely two different But it was the only point to bring up is like it's funny because like the social issues on the only thing that's changed since 1999 and now is that they don't use pagers anymore. Yeah. Yeah And everything else is like the same. Yeah, I feel that way when I've watched I rewatched the movie PCU Recently and I was like, oh, this is this is right now. Yeah, literally No, it's with Jeremy Piven. What's the

one with weird out? What is it? A UHF UHF. Oh, I didn't see that one. No, David Spade is in this weirdly. John Favreau is in it as a fat guy with dreadlocks. It's a college movie. It's a college movie. Yeah. Jeremy Piven is supposed to be in college, but he has like a super pushback hairline. He's gotten a great, he's gotten a great plug job. He's the end. He got it early too. Yeah. Yeah.

He was one of the first. Yeah. Um, I dad, did you get plugs? I didn't know. Does it look that way? No. Well, you, your hair looks, you look like you've lost weight, but you weren't fat. I know people, my wife even said that too.

She's like, you, I didn't realize you were like fat. You weren't fat, but it looks like you've lost a hundred pounds You're exactly right and I did my face was like in retrospect fat We're you drinking like that in real life. Yeah, do you were you drinking or on drinking? Yeah drinking? Yeah, I mean, but that was almost six years ago It's been more recent though because I just stopped eating late Like I literally cut myself off at 8 p.m. And it's all the difference in the entire world I'm back down to like what I weighed in college. I don't eat after like 5 p.m.

But like not meals saw I have right Reese's and stuff. That's what it dude I I was like shoving pretzel rods in my face little things No, I gotta stop kidding myself with the president when you buy the barrel and you're like this will last me years Yeah, it's a clear like you're not even home from the Empty It's good salt and like four right yeah, right yeah, yeah, no I mean I think that it's typically people's faces change when they stop drinking. Yeah. Yeah I mean I was like I just had like kind of a sheen of blubber.

People's skin looks awesome when they stop drinking. It is like an Irish guy thing where your head just gets wider. Yeah, Alec Baldwin's head is insane. It's huge. I come from a fucking long line of just like Irish St. Bernard heads. Yeah, right.

Like just no neck, it just goes shoulder to head. Yeah, they just expand. The Brian Den to head. Yeah, they just Brian Dennehy. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You have cops in your family. I do a lot Yeah, everyone my my grandfather was a cop. My uncle was a cop now turned comedian No, that that's gonna be crazy So he's like do you have any advice? I don't even talk to him anymore because that was what was happening. He was like liberally dropping my name to anybody who would listen. Is it any cash? Oh my God.

If anyone in my family, he's like, he's like, he's like, like Saul Goodman. Basically, one of his, I mean, one of his jokes, I really, I actually, I kind of like it, but he's like, you know back in my day We used to try to get some trim we called it trim cuz that's how they dice This is how we fucking yeah, I literally does I can play the video for you right? Yeah, can we actually right now? Actually, you're helping him out. But yeah do it. I don't think he even does stand up anymore to be honest He killed himself

He sounds awesome actually not a bad guy He killed himself. He's long dead. He sounds awesome actually. Not a bad guy. Let's hear the bit though. Is he trim? Is it because of what? Here it is.

Because they used to trim their pussies. Because they used to trim. Now how is that a joke? That seems like it's just etymology or whatever. Yeah, of course. You'll see, there's not much here. You know why they call it gyping people? Because it comes from the gypsies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that's okay, are you a linguist? I don't... I mean, let's see. It's all in the delivery probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, that's okay, are you a linguist? I don't... I mean, let's... Let's say it's all in the delivery, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, 61 is the... You know, 51, they say, right?

They do. And I work out all the time so I can stay trim. So I can get some trim. Do you millennials know what that is? Millennials. Trim is pussy. Yeah, millennials are like 45 years old. Because back in the day they used to shave the sides, you know?

That's the word trim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, millennials are like 45 years old. Because back in the day, they used to shave the sides, you know? That's the word trim. But now, they shaved the entire genitalia, so maybe they should call pussy bald when they

get some of that bald shit. It's not dice. Wait, wait wait let me look at him he's doing dice yeah, but that's also his real accent like that's not even this is so someone's uncle yeah yeah yeah he just looks like yeah it's like in homicide is just a governor's this no this was actually at a bar show in the city oh it was the only show that him and I ever did together interest I walked in on his set and I was like I got a Record has he ever had to go on leave for a brutality. I don't know. I actually you know what? I've never looked up his like citations I don't want to ruin his whole life, but he's retired anyway, so did his back hurt ever

and did he ever sure but did he ever like have to deal with it for like with his pills and then have a problem with the back pills? I wish I knew dude I don't even talk to any of my extended has he ever called into WFAN definitely called in to Mike and the Mad Dog a hundred percent. Oh my God, a Jets regular caller and then he's like yeah. Hey Mike, how's it going? So I'm trying to get trim because he can get. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't understand. I

don't understand why you, why you saying this to me. What are you talking what you're talking about. I don't understand. I don't understand why you why you say this to me. What are you talking about? Didi? What does that mean? Hello? Who is this Joey Gallo? I love I love I had two uncles do stand up comedy since I started doing comedy and it's like the class. I hate that's Irish support. It's not real support. It's like if this homo can do it, can fucking do it Fuck they did it. I one of my uncles I respect he's really funny. He's six five like four hundred pounds I respect him to naturally funny did it twice killed and was like I'm done. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I beat the game

Why would I ever do it again? Yeah smart good for you. That's how you do it. You quit immediately Why chase it? Yeah, I did I did through a free throw one time swish. Yeah, so nba. I don't think so he they miss all the time. If you watch they miss yeah, they do and you ever have yeah. I never did so that would be sick. If your first and only basketball shot was a make and you're like that's it. I will literally never touch a yeah I'm too good at this hundred percent from the field for my life right yeah yeah I fucked one time I busted so fast that's how good I am at sex I busted in five seconds so what's this they got a sequel

to gladiator coming out on the sneak on the SNE there's been no marketing for this movie at all yeah there's just been like still images peppered in it's coming out like next week basically no it is really November yeah oh I thought it was for next year I thought they were only showing my production ship no it's coming out in fucking November gladiator 2 damn and what's his tits says it's like the best movie what is it the guy forgot his name the Rizy Harvey Ridley Steve Harvey are the multiple tits. What is Ridley Scott said it was like the best movie ever made better than the first

one really this is how he's promoting the movie. Yeah Mommy, I'm stoked. I like the Irish dude I'm I might I might try smoking weed for it nice, which I haven't done in I don't think five years now I'm gonna I got tickets for new Joker, which I didn't realize they made either Folly a day. Yeah, it's a it's a musical sure is yeah, I think I haven't heard anything about that either It's a good or you really not I have not one there's been a cascade of negative reviews one person I know that said it's great no shit. I I haven't heard it anyone even say it's but I think it's going to be one of those things that turns because everybody immediately said do you think it's because it's an

election year that you were just not hearing about movies coming out. Maybe I heard about alien Romulus And I went to see that but yeah, but I thought Deadpool Wolverine. It's probably because it's it's election time So there's just not yeah, that's why I put out my special mid-september I was like, I'm not I'm not competing with this shit And that's why the EP is coming out four weeks before the election hot topical material that it's about it This is what I love that you're doing though Is you're an American going to a different country to talk shit about America not being a pussy coming to America Running away

But finding a friendly audience that will be I was me I was giving them the business too. Yeah. Yeah, you let them know Well, I mean they were like shit about Ireland because I hope you did. I'm fucking I've been talking I'm mad about it right now There was food. I love our have you been back? I played Gaelic football for a long time when I was 15. Where did you were in Long Island? No, I Rockland County and then we would play in Van Cortland Park in the Bronx. So what's that? It's like soccer, but you just imagine the ball? You can use your hand. You can just imagine the ball. It's kind of like, it's like rugby, soccer, there's elements of volleyball, basketball,

like it starts with a jump ball. It is, Australian rules football is the same game, but with a different ball. But it's like, it's really physical, it it's fast-paced there's a lot of sorry I asked I was the one that asked I call into Mike the mad dog and try ask him if he's into it try to talk yeah yeah curling I don't know I don't know what this is I don't know what you're talking about but yeah I would I don't know. I don't know what this is. I don't know what you're talking about But yeah, I would I haven't been back like as an adult to perform or anything like that or even Ireland kind of cultural understanding of where I came from I Yeah, I really loved Ireland. I didn't expect to as much as I did there have any people there or you just went No, I went with like my girlfriend's family

They're like I guess they're white so they're from Ireland. Well they're like New York City so they're Italian, Irish, Jewish. Yeah like some combinations. Yeah yeah. Well Pearl River in Rockland County is the most highly concentrated town of Irish people outside of Ireland. You would think it would be Chinese. Why Pearl River is Pearl River. Yeah, Yank see in Rockland County. No, her grandparents do live in Rockland County. They live in upper Grandview. It's very nice. That's where I'm at. Oh really? No shit. You live there now. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful there. Yeah, it is. It's like a three block neighborhood.

How are the taxes? The taxes got to be bad. Yeah, I mean, I don't own a whole lot. You drive in the city? Mm-hmm. Yeah, every day. Yeah. Yeah.

On the GW? Yeah, I don't mind it at all, dude. I was living out in Crown Heights, and I was taking a train in. It was 45 minimum an hour typically to any club. And now my drive in is like- From Crown Heights? Yeah, dude. On the A? or I lived on Nostrin and

Prospect so right between a or the two three four five and you know, it would just something it would to Upper West Side Stand up New York. Yeah, I guess you're going over there right? Yeah, it was crazy. But now I live in Bed-Stuy and it's fucking 20 minutes I'm yeah, I'm anywhere below, you know the park. Yeah Yeah, I mean seller is really easy. Yeah, I'm actually very inspired by you living there. No kidding. Yeah, it's kind of smart No, I think the Palisades and you're in a city. Yeah. Yeah, not gonna be to the Palisades. I'm here one time I got a blowjob on the Palisades Parkway on the Parkway. Yeah, and it was too many turns I didn't but it felt gay to say I don't want to blow But it's a windy road. Yeah, it's not that wine

Sure, it's just like a little bit like it's a lot to concentrate on I suppose It's the only time I'm a penis. It's the only time a guy's suck my penis It's gay to say no some guys try to suck your penis That's cool though, I don't know if I've ever gotten roadhead in my entire life It was the one time I ever did but I remember was on the Palisades Parkway and I was like a little bit like this This is too dangerous In my mind I thought it was too dangerous So then I got in the slow lane

Mm-hmm so I was a do you think about what happened with an accident that airbag would have snapped their neck right away a hundred percent yeah dude Ferza every single night that I come home from the city there is a smearing of blood across the parkway oh it's still one of those demolished dear I feel like the the Jersey turnpike used to be a death trap back in the 90s and it's like it doesn't seem like I've Not seen a bad accident on the Jersey Turnpike Like in the last 10 years, I saw one I saw one and I look cuz I always look them up afterwards

so I did see one guy die, but It used to be I feel like I would see burning cars and fucking like just a horrific Rex it's still the case on the parkway cuz there's no lights Yeah, it's nothing you're in the pitch black. The only light you have is your headlights. That's it So you just fuck I think it's the gas like has those like the outer and the inner Like lanes, right the truck lanes are on the outside And then do you know that used to be children like when cars and roads were first invented like they were just be like we drive on children Like there would just be kids laid out on the side of the road like deer. Yeah, because there were no guardrails

Nobody knew what to do. They were playing in the road. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just get absolutely truck Well, it took a while for them to figure out that like we need speed limits and any kind of like road controls They just had roads. You drive your auto. Well, the cleanup was just as slow if not slower So yeah, literally be some kid and fucking you know buckle shoes on the side of the road with the socks pulled up right books everywhere. Scary scary. Are you afraid of your kids dying all the time. You know one of those. Yeah. I mean I'm because they could die in so many different ways. They sure can. When they're so small. Yeah. Yeah. I've had I and I've had friends die in young ages. So it's like I

Yeah, it's ever-present constant fear like you're when you were a kid when I was in high school Especially we dropped a bunch of friends and then going in Oh Jackass videos a lot of shopping cart a lot of paralyzation some ended in death, but I said you have killed like let's say like 500 kids probably who should be dead from it. Do you know Mike Feeney? One of my buddy dude, he like is doing jackass He was doing jackass There's videos of him in the back of his friends Honda Civic doing like a buck 20 on a back road on Long Island

Could have killed anybody could have flipped his car went into a house all this shit and they're like like in the backseat having a great time and it's like if you were my friend if I knew you back then you would have died yeah that's that's my connection to my people that have that kind of fun my friend was telling me that in high school him and his friends got into ghost riding the whip right and he did it on a decline and he got out of the first one he was like yeah I didn't know how slow you have to get the car he got out of the car like 30 miles and he just started rolling and then his car that he had seems like bleeding in a chase and I was like so your friends were like in the car with you. He's like no. I did it alone. I was like why would you goes right the way below is practicing. He was like he was like yeah I was going to my friends house and so like he was like yeah I was looking to just tell them oh I ghost

rode the way. Oh my God. His car put in neutral. He got out like the car was like twenty eight miles an hour, just like fucking like rolls. Oh my God, his car is like on a decline. I've gotten out of a golf cart when it's like still rolling and falling down like I was flipped. Well, cars like multiple times yeah, hundred percent yeah in highs in high school. I grew up in Vegas. So we have like a ton of golf courses, which is like, first of all, ecological crazy disaster. Yeah. But they're like nature, but the grass piping in water from elsewhere is good. It's so hot.

No, but I really don't. I'm not like an anti climate change guy, but now you're going to tell me grass is bad. Grass is bad. Grass is bad. Yeah. So it's so hot. Okay. So first of all, the city pays you to get rid of your lawn. So you get a tax credit if you own your house, if you get desert scape in your house.

So like, I remember we had a backyard with a lawn and my dad like got rid of it Because shit it's so hot that when your sprinklers go off Like like 50% of the water is evaporated before it hits the grass It's like it's whatever but because my you're a big beard in the wintertime you get icicles in it Yeah, I'm like this is awesome, dude. I'm a monster. Yeah. Yeah, I'm like this is awesome dude. I'm a monster. Yeah, I'm mahmook of the Yeah, you could do that what you watch that show I cannot do whatever it is I can't do it So good with your hands, you know what a build shit like dude they said I could I can barely get out of bed But you could be alone and like handle that the psychology of it I think oh yeah

Yeah, I said I did alone If I had a if you gave me like fucking I don't know like 16 packets of jacks links I guarantee you I could survive three weeks in the woods because I would just be sitting out there doing voices Yeah, I'm like character and saying it yeah just talking to a mic around just in the by myself I don't my name is Jamal pine cone just I got a job y'all got jobs out here oh nothing you ain't got shit okay all right yeah I'm just out in the woods Just doing a character I'm like what if a black eye was on this

They figured out early on in that show that you have to put on like a hundred pounds before yeah go on yeah Yeah, right. That's kind of cheating. You can't go in skinny because yeah fuck No, because they all thought they would be able to hunt immediately. They didn't anticipate that like the areas they were in were not fully stocked within the first two seasons. They're like, you got to go in fat. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then they just starved themselves for the first two weeks and then you set up a gilly net or whatever, a gill net. I'll be dead within five seconds. It's silly. It's, it is my dream though. I watch like my whole algorithm or like small mayan men building like you know lean to is in the woods and there's something about that that seems

very very interesting yeah and chinese ladies yeah yeah they are a lot of Chinese recommended like soldering videos it's just like people making small electronics that's awesome. No, it's not. I don't look that shit up. I guess it's because I clicked on it once. And now everything is like, watch me bring this old computer back to life.

And I'm like, all right, I guess I'll. But I don't like it. I don't want that. I also got into building school buses into homes. Oh yeah, van life stuff. Yeah. I get a lot of that. Yeah. Looks it like if I didn't have kids my life if I didn't have kids and a wife my life would be completely different. You'd be Brian Laundry. Oh yeah. Similar. Kill your girlfriend. Yeah. I'd find an influencer with low low low subs build her up and then

murder build her up killer then get eaten by alligators. Oh shout out to Florida I heard you guys did alright in this hurricane Minus the Tampa Tampa Bay Rays Stadium. Yeah. Yeah. Well said the roof got ripped off, but I'm watching this Yeah, this was a vine. This was a paper. Yeah Doilies tape together right? Yeah, I think people kind of over blew that storm. Yeah. To save face, they were like, oh, the roof. You know what sold the storm?

I'm sorry, you said 10 million people would be dead. You said 10 mil? I watched. No, no. There was a weather man that was. This happens. Now people get to be like, climate change fake? Fake.

Yeah. Which, hey. Florida. Maybe that's why they overshot it in Florida. This is their this is they're like well clearly This is bullshit Well, I wasn't them doing it. I mean, yeah There's a meteorologist that there's a clip of him that went viral from like three days before the storm and he was crying Mm-hmm, and he's like we know why this is happening and that that made that seem like oh

This is about to be the biggest one ever. Mm-hmm And so I actually watched the storm on TV last night getting ready and I woke up this morning I was like and checked the storm. Yeah, I saw I saw a guy there was a guy on Twitter because I like It was from like two days ago. They were like, this is completely fucking overblown This thing's gonna be category two by the soon as it hits land like there It was like yeah, the eyes gonna collapse. It'll be category two This is a big fucking nothing burger or whatever and he posted that like two days ago So I was like this guy's smart or something so I like check his timeline, and he's really into masturbating

All the other tweets are about like I think I'd ruin my life jacking off I have a girlfriend now, but I'll never escape the incel mentality. It doesn't matter how many how much pussy I get It's just that's me. That's like his whole thing There's like a lot about being five to he's awesome Yeah, and then he's got this one tweet where he's like, here's what's gonna happen It's kind of like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer's like the thing is gonna burn up But it's not even gonna be Then ends there like the scariest part is that Homer was right. It's the broken clock. Yeah

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And we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast. Thanks a lot blue chew And we're back so So So this storm storms did not it seems like it's fine. Yeah, I guess I get North Carolina got hit worse, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, North Carolina's fucked up which by the way, I will be there tomorrow I'm in Charlotte doing a benefit show at By the way, I will be there tomorrow. I'm in Charlotte doing a benefit show at the Comedy Zone tomorrow and the day after.

Benefit for the. Yeah, it's going to the North Carolina community. I had to go on a, I don't know, like, you know, I was like, okay, how do you find a good charity? I didn't know any of this stuff. So then there's a website, Charity Navigator, that ranks the North Carolina community fund is the first one listed because it's everything for it's like Helene charities and then

the first 15 are all in like fucking Georgia and then the first one that was for North Carolina I was like okay we'll do this one nice and the name is like the North Carolina community fund and it's like the Western disaster relief fund. Yeah, so it's pretty non This doesn't have a cool name but I guess they're financial audits or Up to the up to the up to the standards of whatever charity navigator is so we were doing them But yeah, let's see who the benefit is for we're gonna be down there anyway, and then yeah

We just you know, that's a great idea, right? Yeah So go check that out also I will be in Syracuse next month and there are more dates that are going to be announced Surely, where will you be? I have a special out now on YouTube called traumatized animal check that out, please And then I'm on the road This month I'm gonna be in And then I'm on the road this month I'm gonna be in DC, I'm gonna be in Philly, I'm gonna be in Wilmington, North Carolina, everything at MikeCannonComedy.com. Weren't they guaranteeing death to certain areas of Florida? Yeah. Like literally

saying like you will die if you remain in this area. Yeah right. No matter what. Yeah and then I love all the videos your guys are like fuck you, man That's the only reason we have videos of the storm. Yeah, it was like I'm not fucking worried about a fucking hurricane, dude I'm gonna sit here and take fucking videos. I saw somebody wrap up their entire It was either a Lambo or a Ferrari and they bought so much plastic wrap that they literally wrapped it up in that's awesome That does nothing Just keeping it in the garage, hopefully it does wash away, but if it does it'll be dry It's like the Lexus December to remember event you remember those commercials where there's a there's a bow on top of a car Yeah, and I was like one day my husband will do that for me. I

Can't wait. I mean he's basically effectively put his car in like a sandwich bag. I did see a video. This will be fine. I did see a video of one of those electric, the Rivian, the electric pickup truck in Asheville. This guy's truck floated like 700 feet away. It was caked in mud.

Oh I saw that too. And he tried to, he started started it started. That's pretty sad I'm they that's not free promo for that. Whatever the fuck that company is. Yeah, apparently there's also a hiding spot like Between the bed and the cab of that car where it's a crit annex. Yeah, that's like a seat. You could hide juice. Yeah Yeah. That's how you traffic a child. In the Rivian. Nice. Sick.

You could fit two Jews or six kids. There's an empty diary just in there waiting. Just branded. My diary. The open page dog ear so you know where to fill it in. Very nice. Yeah, so nothing happened in Florida, I guess. No. Yeah. The attempt to kill all those Republican voters before this blowout.

Nice try, Kamala. Not going to work. Are they going to debate again or no? I don't think so. No, there's no reason for I think they're they like Trump's campaign is like, yeah, we don't have to do anything. Yeah. So am I wrong? Because again, I feel completely disconnected from a lot of just mainstream news in general. Am I wrong to think that the attention to the election

has kind of died down a little bit, or is that just me personally? No, I think people are definitely paying attention. OK, all right. Because I just remember 2016 being such a fever pitch leading up to it. And granted, I didn't have kids at that point. But I just thought it doesn't feel like that to me right now

I think our only hope is that it's a blowout one way or the other mm-hmm You know because then it puts an end to whatever this current era is yeah, you know feeling thing Well, not just the stealing thing But whatever the cultural thing is if it's like a complete blowout then fucking the Democrats need to like completely recalibrate right complete blowout then fucking the Democrats need to like completely recalibrate what their what their what their plank is right. Yeah. And same thing vice versa. Trump's if Trump lose then that's like the end of this like maga shit. Right. You know what I mean. Yeah. So what are the polls saying. The polls are saying that it's fucking. Yeah. Basically right there. It's just three states just Pennsylvania Wisconsin Michigan. Right. Yeah. And it's just three states just Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Michigan.

Right. Yeah. And it's... I think he's, I think the polling averages are now that he's ahead in Michigan. She went up in Pennsylvania after Biden dropped out, which doesn't make any sense to me at all, but that's what I heard. Well her favorability went up as soon as they made the switch. Yeah. But then it's been slowly like it had a pick up for a while

now it's like dropping again since she's been making like you know she did have a beer on Colbert though so that should boost things yeah well that's stern this week that's it stern she did call her daddy Trump did fucking Andrew Schultz's podcast was a kosh there was it just he So... I'll watch it for Akash. We gotta see that. It should have just been Akash. Akash and Trump. It should have.

You know, Akash would be like, you know, f*** like us. We know what females are thinking. Trump's like, right. That'd be an amazing podcast. I would love to see that. Pete we'll put a little beep maybe. We'll put a little beep maybe We'll put a little beep that's the first time anything was said on this podcast just for the record It's the name of the basketball team and I didn't I didn't buy the pants. I Wore the hat. Did you watch the Schultz Trump? No, I just watched the clips. I'm not like I don't know I watched this video where Theo is describing coke to him the videos podcast yeah I wasn't aware that I thought this was like the first of his yeah yeah no I don't know

I'm great for these guys are getting a boost in the audience that's cool I'm not a big fan of like just no comic is watching yeah it just feels like a quick grab for an audience and then it probably dissipates a week later or whatever But you don't get your money do whatever. Yeah. Yeah, I would love it if I would love if you came on I bet he would no he's making the rounds though. He's like he's yeah, but that's not this is not the round Let's make it Like you'll get howard's Suit and like interviewing Kamala as her, you know, the number one fan of her fan club. Howard's super embarrassing

Well, it's so funny too because it's like the whole point of doing those is like, you know Oh, well, we'll do well access regular people right like even at This point Howard Stern is worth like a billion dollars. Yeah, and then half these podcasters are like We have way more money than we should Like I mean, it's no one listens. No one listens Caster's podcasters now have hundreds of millions of dollars, you know It's like they're even more out of touch than right, you know, like fucking if you just did local news He should go do local Fox affiliates. Oh, yeah, that would be sick. They're like, what do you think about this cat? They got stuck in a tree

Hopefully somebody's not trying to eat it They're still trying to get that story going. Yeah. I saw a thing on the conservative subreddit where they're like, they're eating pets. They're like, even if they are, I just don't think that that's. People aren't voting for president based on. The pet consumption.

You know what I mean? It's like, it's such a ridiculous thing to focus on. Yeah. People got really mad about that for some specific reason that I can't I couldn't understand Yeah, it didn't seem like a real thing But even if it is what I don't know I don't know and it's also like how how often could that possibly be happening that? It's an actual issue also if your dog got eaten. That's your fault. I'm sorry. Yeah I would I almost want to give my cats away to somebody

Cats are disgusting to eat them. Yeah, there's I do not care for them. Yeah, drop them off in Chinatown Your house won't smell like peepee anymore, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's your kids can use the litter box Now my kids can get in a box your kids Know that I would I would that's almost better than diapers is cleaning out a box like that and just being able to scoop it it's less hand at that contact it's there they're automatic I have a robotic one it's nice yeah I had one of those and it just shot fucking litter all over my house and then like any time it I probably is real Israel

Israel Classic Israel Classic Yeah, I just want they gotta get they should just do the election now Why are we waiting? Because of the laws do you have the end is Eric? Not who you're gonna vote for I will I will Mosy on over to the polling place and probably just vote for Jill Stein

You know, I mean it's like if I even vote. Yeah. Yeah, is she in this I Yeah, like I haven't heard about it as an entire well the Green Party never gets more than like, you know I never even get into the fucking double digits. I don't think but I Don't know like it's so pointless anyways, you know that it's like, okay. Well fine. I'll do this. I'll get my sticker It's a block away from my apartment It's a voting is such an anticlimactic thing to do with the amount of attention that gets placed on these elections and how important they are and then you get to the day of and

it's like oh this is it and it does nothing you might find out in a few days if Eric Adams is on that ballot I don't know when if when his election is then I'm voting for his ass I might write him in for president I don't know when if when his election is then I'm voting for his ass. I might write him in for president. I don't understand. He's the best mayor of my lifetime. I don't know. He's I just love that he was trying to like connect in the Middle East to go to Chile or whatever. He was just doing all this. He's got my vote just for whatever he wants to run for for the rest of my life. I give him my sword. Yeah, I love him so much. There's never been a mayor since that we've lived here that I've liked. Yeah, I think it's a it's a job where you get booed. Yeah. Nick and I went to see Paul Simon like in

like in, in flow in Queens once. And it was like before COVID before like, like de Blasio was like everyone, a great New York and it was like, like NPR, like 68 year old Jewish people and they were like, fuck yeah. Like it's just a job where you get booed. Like it's not a fun job at all. And this guy is just, he's, he's handling it with grace. He's like a WWE. Yeah. People haven't like universally like the mayor since LaGuardia you have to go back like a hundred years yeah to find the mayor that everybody's like oh he's our mayor yeah I mean even post 9-eleven Rudy yeah but everybody I mean fucking air which is approval rating after 9-eleven was 93% for like a month perfect strike still I think in my one of the greatest sports moments ever rating after 9-eleven was 93% for like a month. Perfect fucking strike. Yeah, so sick.

Still, I think, in my opinion, one of the greatest sports moments ever. It was just such a great pitch. From the rubber, yeah. Just a great pitch. Great World Series, too. The Diamondbacks, Yankees. That's right.

Beyond Young Kim. Just every save getting blown. Was that the year Gonzo hit the flair to win it? Game seven. Yeah, that's right Yeah, New York lost after 9-eleven made it even better It's like it's like the perfect storm. There's no way New York was gonna lose. Uh-huh. It was awesome But the Patriots did win

Patriots won the Super Bowl so they were like, alright, we got one. Do you think we're gonna have another 9-eleven on 9-eleven or a different day different another big kind of I Don't know I mean ever ever probably, but I don't know if in my lifetime Hmm, I don't think so I just feel like everybody's keyed into these big events now, too It's like and even if they do happen. They're just immediately out of the news cycle You would say that if 9-eleven happened no not no but like I'm talking about like mass shootings and shit like that like it seems just so quickly just swept away that's like a domestic thing yeah it's not like oh this was true even though even the foreign stuff they try to do now it's like people don't really care like after

the Trump assassination attempt they're like oh Iran was trying to kill him people like fine well that's what I mean the second Trump assassination attempt like people were like, yeah, but we saw this movie like who cares Yeah, we're good. He either why there wasn't a video. Yeah, that's true. It wasn't that this yeah Yeah, fist pump the fist pump was on the level of Bush pitching from the roof. Yeah. Yeah the rubber No, that's the closest analog. We've gotten. Mm-hmm That's all I don't know. I don't think there's gonna be another 9-eleven. I mean. That's the closest analog we've gotten. That's all. I don't know. I don't think there's gonna be another 9 11. I mean what's the I'm you know what I'm excited to do is sit in that theater high shit knowing who the president is going to be and watching

gladiator too. Yeah that's gonna be the best part of the movie is that I know who the president is. Is that Kamala. Yeah pick your wallpaper and that'll be no matter what it seems like it's gonna be pretty bad The election no, whatever happens in the next four years. Oh, yeah. I mean it's already bad though We're just never gonna get health care. So like what like yeah, that's the completely off the table at this point So I mean like so what what could they do but you can rack up medical debt and it's not a problem anymore That's the thing. I mean, that's like they could change that rule whenever they want. Yeah, I don't think they will Not if I have anything to say about it Then then that's the Joker three. What do you mean? That's not a problem. Like it doesn't affect your credit you yeah

they can't report it the Credit that's why we've been told everybody's like hey when you have a baby like you get bills like never pay it Just don't pay it then as soon as it now it's illegal for them to report it to the credit reporting no shit So if they do that if they even report it then they're in violation of the law Wow if you have outstanding Medical debt that's on there still you can just contact the credit reporting agents say hey This is I don't know if this slip by your radar But it's both illegal for the health care provider and the credit reporting agencies to list that Wow, you know So they're you know, they're both I don't know if that means you can sue them or if it's if there's some way you report

Them to the seats. What is the CFPB? So then what is the recourse for not paying? Eventually, they'll sue you. Okay. Yeah But depending on the amount of money it's like they got to figure out whether this is worth it or not. Gotcha. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I mean it doesn't sound like a good system though. Like right. Well it's certainly better than your patience. I mean certainly better than the system where you do like have something bad happen and then they just start sending you bills They won't explain and then it fucks up your credit and then you can't buy a house or

80% of the bills are wrong too. Yeah, right, you know Well, I mean it's just a bad system that if you get cancer Then you could just be in debt the rest of your life, right? You know, that's not that doesn't seem like a very good system. But they're not doing it. They don't care. None of these people care anymore. I would say because it's like you need a complete overhaul

of everything, something like this, which is, I don't even know if it's a federal law. It's certainly the law in New York now. Yeah. But because this cuts immediately directly to the issue affecting the consumer, this is like a better type of incrementalism than some broad piece of policy like the Obamacare that might have these like minor wins broadly speaking, but I don't think, and then what? Do we get an update on it ever no, you know

We're going on 12 years now. Yeah, so something like this where it's like Oh, we'll just fuck over the smaller debt collectors and then it puts them all out of business. Yeah, you know fine Well, neither way it doesn't seem like there's gonna be any kind of like staying power to the change Like even if they were to just give health care What's to say that the next person is not going to just take it away like it just seems like everything can be undone so easily yeah yes yeah I mean I just yeah I'm not you guys are smart I'm not well I why we are really smart well I did let's say this let's say they do it let's say they nationalize health care right and then

that's all of those industries are gone well then there goes with it all of its lobbying power. Now you have like a federal agency in charge of healthcare. And it's like where is the legislative power to now privatize this? Doesn't exist, right? It would be like somebody that's like, oh, well let's bring private healthcare back and invest all this money in trying to get, you know,

like the Department of Health completely fucking eradicated private health care back and invest all this money in trying to get you know the like the Department of Health completely fucking eradicated it just wouldn't happen you know what I mean sure yeah you know so I don't think yeah it would shift back once you once you you get there right I don't know how because didn't they isn't that what happened with Obamacare like it just got taken apart yeah but Obamacare wasn't like, it was just like a carve-out system where you maintain the tech. I mean, it's pretty close to like Republican plans for compulsory health insurance. Like Romneycare in Massachusetts is probably like the, it

was basically modeled on that. Yeah. Okay. It's a mandate for private insurance as opposed to a public option. Yeah. And then it expands Medicaid to a certain extent and it creates these like state, like, it just dictates that the states have to make these shitty websites that don't work where you can sign up for health insurance. It's the most Democrat shit in the world. Yeah. Yeah.

It's an exciting website-based option to something that doesn't work and no one likes But they painted a rainbow flag on a crosswalk so cool they don't hate gay people or something like the other guys but I mean that as long as there's that they're just The I mean they're basically the Democratic Party at this point is just The point of it is to just protect the S&P 500 and just make sure which is doing great by which is doing great yeah, so I think that maybe as Podcasters with an audience of zero that are worth 500 million dollars. We should probably get behind combo But that's the other thing. I don't know is the stock market market doing well or is that just like how bad the dollar is doing?

I don't. Someone is someone knows that I'll never because it's like let's say you've made let's say you're up 20 percent in the stock market. Right. You're like great. I'm going to sell what I made and buy eggs. Well eggs are also up 20 percent. You know right. Right. Right. So it's like I I don't and you have to pay capital gains to is right Yeah, so you're actually losing money on eggs, but you write off the eggs as a business expense. I

Make chickens. I sell chickens podcast about eggs. Yeah, I have an egg podcast. I sell chicken I've been buying eggs show business. I still haven't gotten a single chicken, but my business is selling chickens The eggs are media. Yeah media purchase Yeah, so who you voting for Trump Yeah, I don't I honestly like When Biden was still in I didn't plan to participate Now that Kamala is in I kind of still feel that way just based on sheer like it's gonna be really funny when she loses and then Biden's approval rating is like 90% people are like he should have stayed in and I miss him. She doesn't have a career after this. If she loses, I don't think that's not how it works. Well, not in maybe she can't run for president again, but they get rich. I mean they they fail up for oh, yeah

But she's not gonna lose or does he's not gonna have a political she's not gonna be a hobo. That's yeah Yeah, that's not what you're saying. Then I also don't see she can't speak either So it's not like they're gonna fucking have her on She's not gonna be like Hillary Clinton where they're like which country should be bombed now And then she just sits there getting fatter and fatter Yeah And then she just sits there getting fatter and fatter laughs. Yeah I Miss her kind of at this point Hillary Clinton. Yeah, at least she's still around. She's kind of never know what no She's still like talking about her experience and everything. She really she's into it. What she's saying

She's I mean she basically is still saying I won and when I won the election when I won the popular vote But then was screwed out of it like that's kind of her perspective still Yeah, I didn't compete I was in Boston and she was doing a speaking event next to the venue I was at and so I showed up and there was like pro Palestinian like protesters like outside of my show and I guess Yeah, it was for her I'm like you got the wrong guy It is very funny seeing them though because it's like the same crowd that have spent the last 15 years bitching about fucking cultural

Appropriation and then they all dress up like 15 years bitching about fucking cultural appropriation and then they all dress up like Muslims. They're doing the keffiyeh thing. You know, and I'm like, I don't, why is that okay? Yeah, it's not, Joe. Why is that, in this one it's alright, but when I show up to fucking BLM wearing the wax lips and, you know, and the white gloves, everyone's like, this guy, you gotta go, man. It's Al Jolson. Yeah.

I'm like, you know how much I had to learn tap dancing for six months Before and you're now you're telling me I'm not welcome here Just because I'm trying to show solidarity But yeah, I don't understand. I don't understand why the the cafe is. Okay. Yeah, I guess they're not making money off of it That's not but that's never been that what the appropriation is? No, you're not allowed to do yoga. Right, okay. So you just can't have any influence from any other- I just, I don't understand.

Not that I have a problem with it, great, where are the cavi? I just don't understand why that, explain that carve out to me. Yeah. Why that one is okay. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Probably they're saying it's an homage, or it's in solidarity. it's you know in solidarity That's the same argument anyone else is It's a covers act. I'm not taking their side by the way. I'm just trying to offer what you can Yeah, you couldn't wear like a kufi to a BLM thing you could you could not be a white guy showing up Could wear a Nick's Jersey though Come on No, Adam's saying Come on

Well, I guess we'll see what happens in the election we will yeah, I'm excited I don't know If anyone wants to come on this from the election, you're welcome to by the way We won't say no to anyone no matter what your opinions are no matter how did you guys got an RFK jr. did you talk to him you couldn't even get him that's how irrelevant we are that's how far we fall I say all right and we'll be back next week thank you so much for joining us thanks again to Mike any anything else you want to plug what just a special watch the special every I'm in Tacoma. Why I forgot the I'm in Tacoma, Washington next Weekend and we added a Sunday show So if you're whatever the club is in Tacoma, Washington next Sunday comedy club, that's it. There you go. Yeah, I'll see you there

Phenomenal. Thanks a lot guys