The Always Sunny Podcast - Bums: Making a Mess All Over the City

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

I kinda want to put my finger inside your mouth.

Back in the studio, everybody, here we are. Yeah. We're all here. We're all here. We're all here. Good to see Glenn. So, there's one thing that's a little bit different. I'd like to just address it right away.

Rob, you shaved your head. I have. I had a vivid dream last night that I had shaved my own head. And it's very surreal that you walked in here with a shaved head this morning. It could be that we have an E.T. Elliot. There's a psychic connection there. Yes.

I felt the shaving of your head, and it went into my subconscious. It haunted me in my dream. Actually, I liked how it looked in my dream. Did I feel the three beers you had at, like, eight o'clock? You might have felt them, and I think it was more than three. Well, at eight, it was about three. So, three deep at eight? Yeah, it's probably about right.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Hey, guys. What's up, Glenn? Do you want to stick your dicks in my mouth? Not yet. No, I mean... Maybe later.

Why would you say that? Just a thought. I did shave my head. I did have my head shaved for doing a... Just like Glenn, I'm doing a hair bit for a role in the show that I do for Apple called Mr. Quest, and we needed a completely look. Mr. Quest. Mr. Quest.

Mr. Quest. Mr. Quest. You were doing a Mr. Quest thing, and you shaved your head for it. Well, yes. I needed a new look, but also, if I'm being dead honest, I just wanted to mix it up. I just wanted to mix it up. Sometimes I like to do impulsive things and shave my head. Yeah, man.

I get summers coming, feels starting to feel warm. Yeah. And you want a fresh start. I'm wearing a new style of shoe, which I don't think you... I've seen you wear versus this. I think they look nice. That same exact shoe, yeah. Which like during a press thing, someone was like, hey, you look a little sharper in a

white shoe like this. Well, I had somebody dress me for some silly event, and she said, she's a very good stylist. And she said, no more of these Air Jordans you're wearing. I said, why? She said, because you're not a 14-year-old child. Oh. Well... She said, you're going to look like a guy who...

I like that I came in here, and you don't know if I'm going to do a podcast or go bowling, you know, at any given moment, or a rally, some sort of rally. Yeah. Yeah. That's the problem with the shape of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The white sneaker tells me that you're not going to go to a rally, which is nice, since I feel safer. The white sneaker tells me that you think that you're pretty soon you're going to be headed up to meet whoever you believe you're God to be. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. Well, if I had like a nice little peat, like a hairpiece in the back, that's what I was

thinking might be nice. I saw a dad at my school at graduation who had a little like, had shaved his head, but kept a little rat tail and dyed it bright yellow. Okay. And he had a big beard going too. Fantastic. And it looked pretty fantastic. Yeah.

I got to say, I couldn't do it myself, but I mean, I could, but I would need an excuse like it's for a part. Yeah. Now, what was his? It's just, he was just going for a look. Is he a Hare Krishna? Because that's the Hare Krishna. And now he's like an awesome chef.

And he's just like, yeah, fucking around. Yeah. I get it. It was cool. Mixing it up. It was cool. I also saw Dwayne The Rock Johnson. Oh, yeah.

How's Dwayne doing? He looks fucking great, man. Really? Holy shit. Yeah. Muscular, huh? I feel like he works out or something. I had a thing that happened to me this morning.

So I went to make a piece of toast. You guys remember carbs? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys probably haven't had it a long time, but I was going to have a piece of toast. And I went, I pulled it out, like put it between my teeth and I was tying up the bag.

And then the smell of the bread was like aluminum. So like something in the bag was moldy. And I got freaked out that I had the moldy bread in my mouth on my lips and my tongue. So I grabbed some whiskey. Yeah. Yeah. And I swilled it around. Yeah.

Yeah, that's the move. Just to kill. Something to kill the bad guys. Wait, let me talk about whiskey for a second, because so Todd Bierman, who is one of our directors on Sunny and also Mythic Quest, I was just in a wedding, at a wedding with him in Texas. And Texas, it's a free for all in Texas, of course, which is what's great about Texas. And we were at this hotel.

Mythic Quest, Texas. Sure. And we were having a blast. And we were packed full of people all over this hotel, all over the city, really. And Todd and I then traveled back together and we were sitting next to each other for a good four hours. And those airplanes are loud. So we're screaming into each other's faces, having a conversation on the way home.

We also happen to be drinking bourbon. Oh, I love sitting next to you guys. I love sitting next to guys like you on an airplane. Well, no, it's just screaming across the aisle at each other. No, no. We were sitting right next to each other. And what I mean by screaming is just that the plane was loud and we were having a conversation. The point I'm trying to make is that we were very close when we were having the conversation.

And then Todd came home and he popped hot for COVID. He popped hot. He's supposed to be directing the episode of Myth Quest. That's why Meg's not here because she had to step in and direct the episode. I couldn't because I'm not allowed to set because I was in proximity to somebody who does the positive. However, I've since taken three tests and I'm negative. And I'm actually going to credit the bourbon with that.

Now I don't have the science to back this up. Also, could the bourbon have killed the COVID on the way? We just don't know. There's so much we just don't know. If that was true, I feel like the island of Ireland would have never gotten COVID. But it did. So probably not. Did they?

No, I don't know. Are you believing the mainstream media these days, Charlie? Because... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I get all my information from my own subconscious. Fair. Glenn, you're looking great. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. I guess I don't know, I just felt like wearing a collared shirt today and making my mouth so that you guys could stick your dick in it whenever you wanted. I mean, I was just that just like, you know, when you wake up and you have a certain feeling you're like, what am I going to wear today? What do I want to project? You know what I mean? What do I want the world to see me as?

So, you know, do I want to, you know, where do I want a dick to go? You know what I mean? And then you just sort of act accordingly. You dress accordingly and you formulate your mouth a certain way because you want to, you know, you either invite that sort of thing or you don't. Yeah. Yeah. There was the thinking there.

But it is great to finally be back in the studio with you guys. I will say, I missed seeing you in person. It's good. I agree. I'm so happy to be back in the studio. I guess for the noncreeps, for the listeners, we should say that Glenn is back in the studio, but in a very specific way. Yes.

His body is held very still. His mouth is in penis receiving shape. Oh, it doesn't have to be a penis. You could be receiving anything, really. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything round. Anything round.

Put a golf ball in there because it's kind of funny. Sure. Absolutely. Yeah. Put a ping pong ball in there. You have like a rubbery look to your skin, but not too rubbery. You know, I think in a dark room, you'd really give someone a start. What do they call it?

It feels like you walk around, you walk around L.A. and, you know, you start to, I never saw myself as someone who would get, you know, the amount of plastic surgery that I've had. Look at that. Look at that work. You know what I mean? It's like, I'm now at a point where I've botoxed so much that I can't even move. Well, you've taken plastic surgery to a new level and replaced your body with plastic

completely. Yes. Yeah. Plastics durable and it lasts forever, you know, as we can see by the oceans. And tops on Maverick. Have you guys seen Top Gun Maverick? Oh, yeah. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah. I can't wait. Because you know what? You know, it's entertaining planes going 700 miles an hour and then blowing things up. Yeah. Do you notice how they didn't name any enemy? Oh, they were saying.

Very clear. The bad guy. Very clear. The bad guy has is enriching their uranium. Are you serious? That is. So that's literally exactly like our last leave the weapon episode where we're like, don't name us.

Yeah. Don't name a certain market. The world. Don't name a certain. Do not upset a certain market. Don't upset any markets. The bad guy isn't enriching their uranium. We have to get in there.

And so I kept leaning over to Mary Elizabeth during the big action sequence as being like, they're in Canada. Look at all the snow, the bad guys, Canada. What were they implying? Was it Russia? Well, it's hard to say. They were. They really were being understood.

That's topographies in China. That's topographies in North Korea. I feel like there was desert and then there was snow. And then they wanted to cover all their bases, cover all the bases. And you couldn't see I think any of the all the all the guys in the in the in the opposing airplanes. You couldn't see they had masks. You couldn't see.

They did have sort of very Cold War kind of decals on their planes, you know. Yeah. But I think they were suggesting that those were bought those that those were relics bought by the former Soviet Union. I think they covered every base. Yeah. Are you guys fucking kidding me? It's literally exactly what we did on in the lethal weapon.

Yeah. And they were like, we just we we're going to make this as vague as pie. And it's still a good movie. You don't even know. Oh, buddy, not only is it good. It's the same exact movie that they made the first time the for the same exact. Well, and it's but and they leaned all the way into it. Tom Cruise looks fantastic.

He does. He does. Tom Cruise is a different. I don't know that he's human, right? He's maybe not. Yeah. Who knows what the heck he's doing. But like, but it's working.

Yeah. He's got his face in and think, wow, he's got as much plastic surgery as Glenn has. Yeah. Look at all that work. But you know what is also speaking of where to put penises, bums are making a mess all over the city. Wow. And I was not when we when I knew that this was the episode we were going to be talking

about. And I and I popped it on last night. And again, just to remind everybody, I have not seen these episodes in well over a decade. Yeah. And I remember distinctly disliking this episode at the time, thinking we went too far with the costumes. We went too far with the silliness and the with the parody. And it was just getting a little bit off the rails.

And I watched it and thought it was one of the funniest episodes we've ever done. I absolutely agree. Yeah. I watched that fucking thing and I was like, oh my God, there's a freedom to the storytelling which that we have, which is to to be like, basically, whatever we think is going to be fucking funny works, right? So whether it's the cat who, by the way, it was so hot in that cop car in Philly, the cat's mouth is wide open because it's panting out of its mouth.

Something I've never seen a cat do is like, it's like heavy breathing. Yeah. As I recall, and you guys correct me if I'm wrong, because I was thinking about this too. I think we shot the interior cop car stuff in downtown LA and then we shot the exterior cop car stuff in Philly. So I believe we actually shot that in downtown LA, but it was, I do know it was the dead of summer wherever it was. And you are right.

Cats don't generally pant unless they are just like beyond hot. So you can, if you look, you can see we're all sweating. Like we're all very, you know, we're glistening with sweat in that scene. You know what? You're probably right. That probably was downtown LA because we would not have brought the cat and the cat trainer to Philly. Right.

Right. That's right. That's right. Right. We would have been like, well, we could have. I mean, we could have. We can shoot all the cat stuff in LA. I do remember how careful we were with that cat.

And there's obviously, there's all sorts of regulations about how you are to be treating animals on set and they're there for a good reason. And we were very, very careful about that health, that the cat's safety. So much so that I remember the joke at the end was that he gets, Agent Jack Bauer gets blown to safety from the car and we couldn't even, we just wanted to just not even throw the cat. Just lightly place him. Just have him drop from the top of the frame down.

Exactly. A cat will jump off a bookshelf and land on its feet. No problems. So like, yes. So we're like, can it, can it drop from above lens height? In fact, how about we don't drop it? We just let the cat stand on an elevated platform no higher than a table and we'll just hold a treat and he can just jump down and do one thing.

But they were very, it was very, I remember being very strict. And if you look at that shot, he barely falls from, it just looks like he's placed there. You know, I was so beyond frustrated when we were shooting that because I had owned cats my whole life. And chucked them all over the place. I fucking, I just, I chucked them all over the place. I choose to throw cats across the room. I chucked them.

I chucked them. They're fine. A cat loves being chucked around. Yeah. Charlie chops cats. Chop cat, chuck cat. Well, no, but a cat, a cat, a cat can jump, a cat can jump from a two story window and be fine.

You know what I mean? I was like, these are, you guys are cat trainers and I feel like you don't understand cats at all. You don't, you don't get it. You don't understand what they're capable of. And it was just so frustrated because, but we did specifically, we didn't actually want like what you were talking about, Rob, because if a cat jumps on its own, it's going to land on its front feet first and then it's going to plop down on its, we wanted it to land

on all four feet at the same time. So we literally just said, we put the camera as low as we could possibly put it. We just were like, let it just drop it from not even a foot. I mean, it was like, it was like a foot and a half. The way that you would place a cat, almost the way that you would move your cat from say a table you didn't want him on, you just wanted to put him on the ground. The way that everybody drops their cat, they don't throw it to the ground like a baseball, but they also don't just carefully place him down.

We were being very respectful to, to, to the animal. I wasn't. Now I will say watching it, I'd forgotten about that moment and I saw like the cat would like the smoke coming off of it or whatever, which we must have added in post. I don't know how we did that, but like, uh, I got a chuckle out of it. It works. Yeah. Although I, I was more watching that to be like, oh, what was the original joke?

I bet that I was trying to push for that. We just blow the cat up and then we were like, uh, or the network was like, that's too much. I can't remember, but that sounds right to me. Yeah. My instinct was like, no, I, I, I think right from the beginning we were like, we were like, this cat can survive. This cat can survive anything. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's in there in the writing.

But I feel, I do believe that Charlie's sense of humor, at least at one point would have said, well, isn't it more, isn't it funnier that we're setting up that he, that he will survive anything and then the final moment he won't survive a car blowing up. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. The guy that we buy the cat from, the expression he gives when we sit at, when you say and throw in that cat, it's the oddest look, but he's like, you know, you're like, is the, you know,

is the cop car for sale? I was like, everything's for sale. And we're like, we'll take it and throw in that cat and he gives like this little like happy look that he's finally selling the cat. Well, let's start from the beginning because the opening scene has, uh, is Danny's good friend, Tracy, Tracy, who's been in a lot of movies. Most famously, I famously, I think Batman, Batman is like the Joker's henchman. Yeah.

Bob. Bob. I think the character's name is Bob. Is that right? Yeah. And Tracy's been in a million movies for Repo Man and, you know, he's just been around forever. Yeah.

And he was Danny's friend. Yep. And he wanted to be on the show and we said, you want to be a masturbating bum? He was like, sure. He gets beat up and, um, one of those, I remember one of those, uh, trash cans that Caitlin is hitting him with. Yeah. That was an actual trash can.

They had not, either the, either they had not switched it out. Or she grabbed the wrong one. Or she grabbed the wrong one. And she flunked him. One was a rubber lid and one was a metal lid and she picks up the metal lid and then bam. And he goes like, whoa, whoa, what kind of show is this? Yeah. Is this a student film?

Yeah. Hey, can we give me a stunt guy for this? Yeah. Exactly. Well, no, what happened was they did have a stunt guy. If you watch the episode, it's a stunt guy. It's a stunt guy and he's getting hit with a rubber thing. And then when they switched it out, cause they were, I think, um, you know, Jerry wanted

to get one shot so that you could actually see, uh, Tracy's face. And so it was a different setup. And, and I believe, uh, you know, they just forgot to place the prop in the right place or maybe Caitlin grabbed the wrong trash can land. But yeah, she bashes him with an actual trash. She bashed him up. Good. And I, it's in, it's in the, it's in the outtakes.

I think it's in the, the season three bloopers like this is the episode where I'm wearing a T-shirt as an homage to Jerry, who was our director and that T-shirt, you remember what it says? Something. What are you looking at? What are you looking at? What are you looking at? But the best part of it is that there's no question marked at the end.

So it's a question, but it's more of a statement. What are you looking at? Yes. Dick knows. And that's, that's taken verbatim from the movie Teen Wolf. That is right. Uh, Jerry Levine's character styles, uh, wears a T-shirt, albeit not sleeveless. I don't think, um, in the movie Teen Wolf, it says, what are you looking at?

Dick knows. And, uh, yeah. So that was a tribute to our director. Yep. I remember finding Teen Wolf disturbing as a kid. Like, just like seeing the trailers and be like, I'm uncomfortable with the hairy face. Well, why is it that somebody turns into a wolf and they can play basketball? I don't know.

Better than everybody. Cause I don't know that wolves are good at basketball. I would not. I have a theory about that. No, okay. I would not think a wolf would be good at basketball. I have a theory about that. About why a wolf would be good at basketball?

No. Uh, here's, here's, well, uh, you're not wrong. First of all, but if I were to have to justify it, what I would say is, and maybe if I was in those, you know, production meetings back in the eighties, having that conversation and snorting line after line of cocaine, as we were discussing these ideas, I would have said, I think I would have said, well, it's not that the wolf, it's not that a wolf is better at basketball. It's that he would be that good at basketball if he had the physical prowess of a wolf.

In other words, Michael J. Fox's character is actually a good basketball player. He's just small and weak. If he had the body of a werewolf, he would be able to do all of the things. It's like the fly. It's like the fly where Jeff Goldblum, right? He has the mega strength of a fly. You can also melt your food by vomiting on it. Yeah.

I believe it also made him very popular with the ladies now. That was an odd one. That was confusing. I don't, I don't really see how that, yeah. That's confusing. Harry Men Everywhere, Harry Men Everywhere watched that movie and they were like, see, you know, and the women were still like, I don't see. Guys, I think we've talked about this before on the podcast.

I think we have to. I think we have to. About Team Wolf. I think we talked about Team Wolf. Yeah. Yes. This is the problem. We asked Meg, she's not even here.

She's not here. We asked her to cut it. Again, I've mentioned this on the podcast, I know, but she doesn't cut it. And now that, then we look like assholes because we've already had this conversation, but we spend so much time together. We don't know what we're talking about. Yeah, we don't know. Well, let's get back to the episode.

One thing I really love was the pacing. Oh, yeah? I love the pacing of the episode. We move so quickly from scene to scene to scene. It feels very economical. It's, it's, it's light, right? Like all we, we buy a cop car and we want to drive around in it and get free hot dogs. We all just start taking it too far in our own specific ways.

You and Caitlin want to clean up the streets because we have someone masturbating in our alley and that's, it's as simple as that. That's as simple as that. The joke of the cops dropping you off in the bad neighborhood and then the gunshot and everyone scattering is great. And then the, the, the taking it the next level when you say, and this I do feel like we've talked about on the show, but like, but like, hey, this guy doesn't, we got to get out of here.

Let's find someone who looks safe. I would clearly say we are in an African-American neighborhood, which is a bad neighborhood from this, these characters point of view. And then, and then you're watching, oh, well, you say you're like a lower socioeconomic African-American neighbor. Yeah. That's what I said, but that's what sets up the joke. That's coming.

Yeah. That's what sets up the joke, which is that then you walk right past the nice looking man and you go to your dad is playing the crackhead and he pulls the gun on you. And we suggest that these characters believe that this is a bad neighborhood simply because if they're, that is a great way to do a joke. About racism, about these characters, racist perspective on where they are. Oh, yes. And that is my actual dad who was playing the crackhead.

I guess we used to cry. We don't know if he's a crackhead. Maybe he's a methhead. He's currently on drugs of some sort. Yeah. And he points the gun up at us. Yeah. And that's my dad.

And it gives you a big, big, disgusting, toothy smile, which I got to say was, you know, his performance in that moment is pretty terrific. Did he do a little bit of acting when he was younger? Did he do some plays or something? Well, I don't say he did or. He played Joseph and the, uh, yeah. Joseph and the amazing technical dream code. No, just like some kind of like church thing.

Oh, probably, right? Probably. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't, I don't think he had any bag. He doesn't have any background. And he's just, he was, he was game. There are a lot of actors in this episode that were from Philly.

Yeah. Like the kid that we kind of mug for J walking was like a Philly actor and then the hot dog guy. Yep. Or the, or maybe from New York that came in, but, but either way they were East coasters. That's for sure. They might have been from New York, but I feel like we did like Philly casting sessions back of the day more often.

We did. But Glenn's cop character is so great. Glenn's cop, and those glasses. So great. That was, yeah. That was fun. They did a movie. Jammed everybody up.

Like eight years later. Yeah, get, getting jammed up, that was taken straight from NYPD blue. I was obsessed with NYPD blue and all they talked about was getting jammed up and jamming each other up. And I don't want to jam you up. And that just felt like good cop talk. So a few years later, they did a movie called Let's Be Cops. The Jake Johnson movie.

Yes. With Damon Wayans Jr. And they essentially just found a cop car, started driving around and started getting treated like cops, so then they decided that they were going to act like cops and get all the stuff. And I remember when the movie came out and we all said, this is, we did this episode. We did this exact episode and now they're making a movie out of it. And it was an independent movie, but I think it made some money for them and it did pretty

well. And everybody just said, you're stupid, you're stupid. Well, then I ran in a Jake a few years, in fact, I worked with Jake a few years ago, and I brought that up to him and he goes, oh yeah, I think the writers saw that episode and thought it was funny. They should just make a whole movie about it. It might not be too late to sue. Shall we?

It might not be too late to sue. Yeah. Yeah, let's get litigious. Should we get litigious? I would be, I would, I would be afraid we would be opening ourselves up to those same lawsuits. I mean, I literally just said we stole the jamming, the jamming stuff up from NYPD Blu-Sah. I mean, everybody steals.

That's the thing. That's the thing. We're all stealing. All right, gang, Charlie forgot to cash this stack of checks on his keyboard and now he's lost a small fortune. And you know, here's the thing. I just haven't been feeling like walking to the bank for the last like 10 years or so.

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Guys, go ahead and grow your business with Shopify today. Go to Shopify.com slash Sunny. Right now, that's Shopify.com slash Sunny. Let's talk about the music of this episode. The music of this episode makes this episode work and we were still... It was just another case of us doing something very broad and then the music, leaning into it all the way. Yeah, we get in the editing room and we're using our usual like, and it's not cutting

together, right? It doesn't feel right. And we start digging around, we find this sort of like 70s, Serpico-esque like cop music and suddenly it's just stitching the whole thing together in a great way. And I do miss the... I watched that episode and there's an innocence to what we're doing that I really miss and by innocence, I just mean like a lack of experience in a good way, which is that we don't know what the show is yet.

We don't know what works or what doesn't work and we're kind of like, well, maybe this will be funny and then it is, which is good. It played pretty well. Played pretty well. I kind of want to put my finger inside Glenn's mouth. That's why I was just thinking the same thing. You were telling that story and I was like, I'm looking at Glenn, I'm thinking I want... It hasn't moved for however long we've been talking.

You want to put your thumb in there? I'm not my thumb. It's waiting for you. I'm waiting for you. You want to put something private in there? No, no, no. I'm looking around for something to put in there, like a cigar or something that we could but...

A cigar would be fun. Would you like a cigar? I don't know that we have access to a cigar. I doubt it. Are you getting thirsty at some point? How deep does it go? Well... Put your thumb in there.

I'll take the mic with me here or I can use his mic. Yeah, use his mic. Is that hot? Is that a hot mic? Yeah, that's hot mic. All right, I'm going to stick my finger. Oh, wow. Oh, buddy, that goes in your brain.

It goes all the way back. That's right. Yeah. Hold on. So that guy... Oh, my God. That sucker's functional. Oh, God.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, Glenn. Sorry about that. Sorry, buddy. Sorry. It's okay. It's all right.

I asked for it. I'm going to ask it for it. Yeah, that was very specifically... That was designed for something. Oh, yeah. A couple of things about this episode, I don't know if you guys recall, but that opening sequence with Tracy masturbating and us just standing there watching him was not the original opening sequence of the episode, and we completely caught it that way.

This rings a bell. This rings a bell. What was the original scene? Is some of it in the bloopers? Yeah, there would have had to have been a lot of dialogue, a conversation about what we were seeing, and we probably got to the editing room and realized there was no words necessary. Yeah.

So the scene was there. Right. So the scene of you guys running into him, but you were probably saying X, Y, Z, and he was making noises, and then we just landed on silence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And when Tracy kind of looks up at us and gives us that big smile, it's just I laughed

my ass off, and I knew I was in for a ride. I very much enjoyed that. Yeah, same. I liked every once in a while to picture some of the episodes that people... That has to have been the first episode that somebody saw at some point. I like the idea of somebody sitting down and saying, I heard about this weird show that my friends are telling me about, and some people hate it, and some people love it. I got to just check this out and watching that for the first time and just being so

utterly confused. I always think it's funny when people are like, go to watch our show for the first time, and it must just be like taking a bottle of vodka, just pouring it down someone's throat and just be like, ah, you may or may not like this out some point, but here it comes. I absolutely hate when people who meet me who say I've heard of your show from my kids or my family or my friends, but I've never actually seen it, but I want to start. Can you tell me which episodes I should start with? I have no answer to that.

I have no answer to it. Yeah, what's the entry point? I don't know. I don't know. What's the entry point? What's the entry point? It's different for everybody. It's different for everybody because there are people...

It's different for everybody. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'm like, watch season five. Just start with season five. Yes, I remember. I just watch season five and go back. I don't know. That's...

I actually agree with you, Charlie. I feel like at this point, you know, but again, that's with my sensibilities now. Yeah, that's right. Because I think at a certain point, I probably would have said season three, but I think now I would be scared to say season three because I feel like it's a little too crazy to start with. And season five, I feel like is really solid. I don't know.

Yeah, I feel like... Start at the beginning. Go for it. Maybe, yeah. I mean, either way, I feel like your mouth would be a metaphor for that experience as well, which is you just got to open up wide and whatever gets shoved in, you got to take. Take it in and don't fight against it. You got to take it.

I mean, you can. Just turn it off. I can't. Well, no, he can. He can. He can. He can. He can.

He can. He can. He can. He can. He can. He can. He can. He can.

He can. I can. He can. He can. He can. He can. He can. He can.

There's a great... One of my favorite lines in the episode is right after that. Oh, sorry. But if he's truly designed after Dennis Reynolds, his design should not be about my satisfaction at all. to replace me. If it was an accurate representation, your pleasure would not be involved at all. Yes, no, you're right. If I had designed it, if I had designed it, it wouldn't be about... There'd be a little razor blade down that mouth, and that would be like...

All about his sick and twisted... Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't be a vessel for someone else's pleasure. No, not at all. Not at all. I'd be administering pleasure and justice. Justice. Often at the same time. Justice. One of the best lines in the episode, it makes me laugh so hard, and it's such a throwaway line.

After we walk in, after the opening title sequence, and we're telling you, Charlie, and Frank, that there's a masturbating bum in the alley, and Charlie's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen that guy. But the best line is, I don't know if it's me, I think I come in and I go, there's a bum masturbating in the alley. And Danny goes, Danny goes, masturbating bums are bad for business. As if that's something that needs to be said. Like he's teaching us a lesson in that moment, as if there could be some confusion. As if we're about to have a debate as to whether that's good for business or not. Right off the bat, listen, guys, I need to teach you something.

Masturbating bums in the alley are bad for business. That shit made me laugh. I think for our listeners and creeps who are young aspiring filmmakers or TV makers or whatever, what have you, Tiktokers. It's probably nice to know that I would say 85% of the time, what we set out to do doesn't totally work out. We've written something and we've shot something. We get into the editing room and for whatever reason, it doesn't work. And then we have to find, okay, this type of music completely radically changes the episode and makes it work. Or, oh, this scene doesn't work, but let's just have the guy masturbating in silence.

And it's so interesting how it is that over and over and over again for all 15 years, there's no sort of blueprint for it. Every now and then we walk in and we're like, wow, this thing's pretty much tight top to bottom. Let's do a couple of tweaks and call it a day, but it's super rare. Well, one thing that I've noticed is that I now have the ability to watch a cut of, say, Mr. Quest or whatever show it might be. And I can watch the cut and pretty much, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's AP what? AP bio. I've never seen that.

I can watch a cut of something. He's talking about something he did in school. Oh, well, if you want to send it my way, I can give you notes on it. Yeah, it's like a student film. No. Anyway, I think we all have this ability is that you can look at a cut now and see pretty much see what needs to change in it. And that's only that only comes like I could sit in it with an editor and watch an episode of something and say, OK, change this, change that, cut this, put a musical transition in here, lose that scene entirely and just try that. And then you come back and it's not 100%, but you can pretty much guess right.

And the reason we can guess right is just simply because we've spent thousands of hours in editorial. And it comes, we think in my mind, I forget it feels like it comes naturally, but it doesn't. It's a learned skill. You have to sit in front of and now we have everybody has the editing software on their phones. You just got to try. Make try. It's the weird thing, too, of like, you know, you just said, I remember thinking that this episode wasn't our best and maybe a little too broad. And then you look at it however many years later, a decade later, and you're like, oh, it's actually pretty good.

I'm feeling the same, right? So then there's that weird side of it, too, where like you've done the work, you've put it together, you say, OK, this is the best I can make this. But I know it's not really the best it could have been. But then you go back and you look at it and you say, oh, no, it probably is better than I realized it ever would have been. You know, like, maybe I would have made it worse trying to make it better. You know, I don't know. Can we give a little bit of credit to our editors, too? Because, you know, especially some of those, you know, Josh Driscoe, who's been editing for us since the original home movie.

Tim Roche, your buddy from Rhode Island, who we had auditioned to edit the show and just absolutely crushed it right from the beginning. But those guys, you know, they've also had, you know, their fingerprints are all over those musical choices and some of the better edits, you know, some of the ways in which, you know, we can kind of tie things together and make it all feel intentional. You know, I got to just, you know, I mean, I can remember a number of instances in which we came back. I mean, often it's like, hey, Josh, we want to try something that feels like this, but then he's got to be the one to actually sift through all that music and try and make it work and edit it, edit the music and stick it in the scenes. You know what I mean? And, you know, those guys just done such a terrific job. I'll tell you what, I take that for granted because I sometimes will have to work with other editorial teams and post-production teams and you realize very quickly, oh, wow, we have some of the best editors and editorial staff and produce post-production producers in the business. The role of editor is such a huge, I mean, in a sense, they're directing, they're writing, you know, they're, you can completely.

And this, like this episode or the, the suburbs ones are like examples of like completely reinventing what the episode is in the editing room. The gang dines out, you know, so many different versions of that, totally landed on that sort of like Italian music sort of version of it. And there's, I mean, you can just drastically change what it is. And yeah, there's a, there's a weird myth about like, I don't know, like an auteur, you know, like one, and without a doubt, they exist, right? Like someone whose influence is so great on all departments that, you know, they're like a black hole sucking everything towards their vision and outcomes. It's an amazing thing, but the reality is like the, so much collaboration involved from the costume department to the, you know, the casting to the performers to the, you know, the everything, everything. Certainly the director's on her show and like, what else is there, craft service? Well, no, I think that's, that's totally valid is that the only place that an auteur actually exists is, is if you're painting something or fucking drawing something.

And it's just you and the media. Now, that doesn't mean you don't have people with exceptionally specific points of view that everything gets, gets pushed through. Yes, you have like the Coen brothers who are writing the movies. But the Coen brothers aren't acting in their movies. They're, they're not acting in them. And then they're also, you know, they're being lit by, you know, the best DPs in the world. Roger Deakins is like, yes. Roger Deakins is a living legend, you know. And then they've used that. Oh, Teddy photographs.

Teddy photographs is going to make it. The deacon of photography. The deacon is in the house, you know. I know just that. It's amazing. Didn't they take, they took stunts, like stunt people out of the Oscars. They took, I mean, they, they, they kicked them to off camera, the DPs, the people that are actually capturing the images. The whole awards thing.

Well, that's a whole different thing. We have, we have an episode about that. We'll get into that. Academy, they're retrocious. What's your line in the L? What's your line in the, oh man. Well, we have a whole episode about that. Yeah. Well, I'm going out to lunch with my brain tonight.

Yeah. What's going on with your brains? I had some beer. I know. I felt it. You felt it. You told me a little groggy today. No, no. I mean, I felt it last night. Or a little puffy. It was the, it was the ET of it all around at eight PM. Is it trying to have fun tonight?

Yeah. Trying to kick him back in summertime. In summertime? Yeah, it was. Did you have fun golf? No. Well, I was, but this week I've been working a bunch. Oh, great. Writing and writing a lot of music.

Fun. Can we hear some of it? No, it's just for. I'll share. I'll share with you. Okay. And then I'll share with the public when it's more refined. Excellent. Are you going to make an album?

You got, are you cutting an album? I wanted to do something like a movie with a bunch of music in it. I don't know if I can pull it off, but if you guys weren't doing so many goddamn things, we could collaborate, but you guys are so fucking busy. Well, I mean, we collaborate quite a bit. That's true. We do. And I love it.

I love every second of it. I do too. I like the idea of putting a lot more energy into this podcast. I'm happy that we're here again together. All of us. Yeah. Just reaching out and touching everybody's knees here, which I know you absolutely.

Are you touching me? Yeah. Yeah. I did not feel that. Since the, since the full body replacement, you can't feel the knees anymore. Oh my God. You were just touching my hand.

I saw you do it. I can't feel that. Yeah. Can you only feel what goes in and out of the mouth? That's the only thing I'm designed to feel now. Yes. Yeah. And is that your only hole?

Yes. Are you thirsty? You gotta be thirsty. Because I've taken so many sips of water. I'm going to give you a little water. You know, I'm not lubricated. You got it. I'm going to get myself some more coffee while you're watering Glenn.

Yeah. Give me a little while. You feel refreshed, right? Yeah. That's a cold. Gosh, I didn't. I didn't realize I needed that and that was good. Thank you.

I appreciate that. You got it, buddy. Um, Robert, are you, are you dressed in character right now? Is that... Because I thought you weren't going to set, I'm sort of pulls up in,

I Okay, he got it you choked him a little bit you couldn't hear it they're trying. I didn't mean to choke at all. I'm good No, we've already covered the way I look were you not paying attention? Well, I know but I but but you you I don't understand I'm just mixing it up. I can watch it man. It's very free Yeah, we're all gonna have shaved heads because as soon as I'm done You know filming this movie Won't have to wear this wig anymore, and I can I can shave my head Wow

What else about this episode? Yeah, go ahead. You're the host. Do you have any questions for us now Rob? the inspiration behind your yours and Sweet D's Costumes with the Guardian Angels courtesy right in New York City. Yeah a group started by a man named Curtis Silva I believe his name was and the early 80s late 70s early 80s in New York City I think believe was a tough time and I think that the the general public was taking matters into their own hands and becoming their own police force and

The Guardian Angels were that force and they would patrol the Subways of New York City late at night and just just just beat the shit out of people as far as I Did they beat did they bash people did they bash them? Yeah. Yeah, they bashed them up pretty good I think they were just sort of a threatening force for good from their vantage point And I don't know how effective it was. I do know that being a vigilante's got some got some issues Just in its nature. It's kind of we celebrate them Batman, you know I guess you could say all superheroes are vigilantes to some reckless these superheroes really, you know now Charlie Talk to us about your Serpico impersonation your your your Al Pacino impersonation that that was that a was that a very influential movie on you?

Did you know like are you big Pacino fan and yeah, sure who doesn't love Pacino? No, I think that was just more of a goof, you know, we were like we were like, all right, what a You know probably breaking the story me like, okay, we have the cop car. What are people doing and I? I didn't know how it came up with that. It was like, okay now you're just turning into Serpico. I Just thought I was like that was something that you just I think that was something you wanted to do The ponchos and the big hats and You know Just like the

Yeah, the choice of the poncho really I think it's so much to do with it and just being like Sort of like what's what's the opposite of dressing like a cop? You know what I mean? How far in that direction can we go? And it's like a poncho and a giant Justice like I probably had recently seen it within a year or two of writing that episode and I was like Yeah, what he's just doing a Serpico thing and then I get to do a weird It's always fun to like Be doing the impression and then having to drop it, you know, like You're like, oh, I walk in there like now you're doing Christopher walking like no, I'm not doing I'm walking I'm walking away

You know just those little things like But yeah, I don't I don't think it would have worked as well if you had not as the character Verbalized the fact that you wanted to do a Serpico type thing. Yeah, you know what I mean to me That's what makes it funny is that if your character it's your character being like Oh, I can do a Serpico type thing and then your character going and getting the costume and the fake beard Yeah, we'd already sort of established that like my guy at that point early on was like taking shit too far We're all taking it too far and I take it even like further into the extremes, right? And that's sort of the joke of that character and then so

Yeah, I guess it was just like he wants to do it out, but you know impression and then I don't know I mean, it's like the writing it taking the spin doctors mix and Hey, how about my jump and that freeze frame at the end? I remember loving it at the time and I loved it again last night. You got so high How do I fucking do that? You got some you got a holy shit There's no way I think it was the tucking of the knees. I feel like I did I think you can get that high again No, man, I feel like here's what I think maybe happened. I did one and you said One of you guys said hey try tucking your knees up and it'll make you look like you're even higher

I think that's what happened I'm gonna say that it's the I it's the magic the magic of photography and a still frame in the middle and at the At the peak of flight. Mm-hmm, and I'm gonna suggest that you can still get up there And I think we we should take a camera Yeah, I think you could do it I think I'm gonna break like glass I think I could get in the air, but that was some height man That's a okay. Here's what I'd like to propose to end this episode. I'd like to propose Charlie and I going outside I'm Glenn you also can join us, of course, and we're going to take the I'm gonna take a video of you

And I and I'm gonna have you jump into the air We're gonna freeze frame it and at the very end of this episode It's gonna go dead and dead and and you're gonna be just as fucking high as you were in 2007 Better warm up now. Wow better warm up Or more athletic. Let's let's go. Let's do it. Oh Oh