The Always Sunny Podcast - Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

Can we just stop it with The Beatles?

We're all here. We're just excited to talk to each other. The thing I noticed about the cameras is that because they're on this side that you always have, you kind of have a great shot. No matter what. Yeah, because you're looking left, you're looking right. We got him right.

Oh, Megan, oh my God. Megan, we can't do things like that. We can't do things like that. Let's get a camera on it. Megan has, for the listener at home, she has dropped a liquidy thing. It was. Did it shatter everywhere?

Did it shatter? Did it break? Shattered? She has shattered a glass bottle, but she's willing to work through it. This is Meg's worst nightmare. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, this is great stuff.

Are we rolling? Are we rolling? Yeah, we're rolling, yeah. This is all good stuff. Oh, wow. Meg, did you want to talk a little bit about the brook? No. I'm just gonna check to make sure I turn on the fucking camera.

Oh, wow. I see a little red dot on the cameras. Yeah, there's cameras now. We're now filming this podcast. Meg, don't cut that. ["Pomp and Circumstance"] Rob, I have a question for you. Did you come straight from the set of AP Bio

and are you playing Jack now? Because you're dressed in my wardrobe on the show. What show is this? AP. Is it still on? You still doing that? Yeah. Oh.

No, honestly, I put this on. No, it got canceled. It got canceled. It got canceled, man. I didn't even tell you guys that. No. I thought you were done. I thought you said we're going to do three, and then that was it.

No, well, we did four. I love it, Charlie doesn't even know how many seasons we did. Well, you know, seasons are, they all blend together. Charlie produces a show that we're doing that I don't know that he knows how many seasons we've done. That's not true. That's not true. I know, and I have critiques, but you won't listen to them.

So good luck. Good luck. Uh-oh. That's the kind of thing I'll get you fired up. Yeah, that kind of shit. That telling me that I don't care about the thing that I'm producing, that gets out of my skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't like it.

I don't like it. Why? Because you're tempting to discredit my connection to the show. Not really. I'm just giving you bullshit. No, no, there's something under it. There's something.

No, there really isn't. Ken? No, there really isn't. There really isn't. No, I know there isn't. It's just something you're sensitive to for whatever reason. It's the same with I'm joking about not knowing Glenn's show. Even though I actually put this on this morning and thought,

oh, this is the way that Glenn's show. I'm not saying, if you said I didn't know your show, that's fine, because I have nothing to do with your show. I minimally have something to do with your show. You created the show. I have as much to do with your show as you want me to do, which seems like not too much, which I appreciate. Yeah, the one that was the original deal.

I wrote it together. That was the original deal. You kids are on your own. That's fine. You're doing great. Thank you. I love the show. Thanks, bud.

He's offering his services, but he doesn't want you to take it up on it. You want him up on it. I'm well aware of that. You nailed it. We've been a couple of times where I'm like, oh, do you want to come in the room? And then he's like, yeah, yeah, I'd love that.

We could work it out. But then I'm like, he doesn't really want to. He's saying that he does, which is really nice. Yeah, he wants to play golf. And he should be able to. He's earned that. No, I do. Like the couple of times you've been like, hey,

you want to work on an episode? I've been psyched to do that. And I would come do some acting or whatever. That'd be a lot of fun. So I dig the show. The thing is that nobody's listening to the show. Nobody cares about AP Bio, guys. Nobody cares about Mythic Quest.

They care about it. It's always sunny in Philadelphia. I don't know about that. You guys see that Beatles documentary? Yeah, it's fucking great. Yes. Don't get me started. You don't.

What's your deal? Glick, Glick. What's your deal? Don't get me started. This is amazing. This is going to get me in trouble. Glick, Glick hates the Beatles. He hates the Beatles.

No, that's not totally accurate. What I hate is that the Beatles seem to be given the credit for having, I don't know, invented music or something. Can we just stop it with the Beatles? That's my thing, right? Yeah, no. There was so much musical innovation happening

at the time that the Beatles were out, OK? Were they part of that? Yeah, they were a huge part of it, maybe even the biggest part of it. But did they invent rock and roll? Did they, was anyone else from the 60s worthy of the kind of attention that the Beatles get? It's just like, can we just shut the fuck up

about the Beatles? God damn it. So you're not annoyed at the Beatles. You're annoyed at people's love of the Beatles. I'm annoyed at the amount of times that the Beatles. I'm annoyed at the amount of shit out there there is to celebrate the Beatles, but not to celebrate all the other bands that were doing cool shit

at the time. That's what annoys me. OK, the documentary is amazing. It's great, because you really just see the moment where Paul picks up the guitar and he's trying to figure out a song. He's like, jugga, jugga, jugga. Let's see, Georgia wasn't much of a thing.

You see the creative process that really laid bare. This is a stupid thing to compare it to, but it really made me appreciate our process and what we get to do and just the times that we've just been in a room stuck and then you're just bouncing ideas and seeing the creative process, seeing how something comes from seemingly nowhere and then goes through someone and then gets shaped by someone else is exciting to watch.

So whether you like the Beatles or not. Yeah, what you have to accept is that Charlie feels, and I agree, that we are the Beatles of basic cable late night. Well, no, no, no, no. I would say that we're the kinks, right? Shut up. We were around for, yeah, because they

made music for like forever. The Beatles made music for like six years and they were like, we're out, you know what I mean? And the kinks just kept going and going and going and going. Pretty cool and people listen to them, but they never really got it. Yeah, exactly. Like, did they have some hit songs?

Yeah, they had a bunch of hit songs. They had great hit songs. By the way, I'm a big kinks fan. I love the kinks. But they never hit like the mainstream. Not. I mean, they did. They did a couple of songs, but people don't people recognize

the songs, but if you ask them who are the kinks, they would have no idea. Yes. I can't name the kinks. I can I can name the Beatles. Which do you think you are? Then definitely Paul. Yeah.

OK. Well, who? Which kink are you? Jerry Garcia. Yeah, see there. That's the problem with the kinks. Oofa. Yikes.

Then which bit? Bob Weir. If you're Paul, which Beatles am I? Which Beatles do you think I am? I think you're a little bit of Paul. I think you're Paul, too. I think you're Paul. If you guys call me Ringo, I swear to fucking God.

I swear to God. No, you're George Harrison. Yeah, George was. Maybe John. I mean, you're definitely Harrison. Like, you know, like, he's like, you know, yeah, he's about to call me John Lennon. You could use about to give me John Lennon.

Well, in terms of the relationship with each other. He was. He was. I know. You got a little John Lennon, too. You got a little John Lennon. I don't know. But you got that George thing where you could you could go

and write an amazing song on your own. And then you don't get the credit for that. But then you're like, you can do it, man. But you see like Paul is like a maniac, like constantly like pushing things forward and saying, guys, like, let's go, let's go, let's go. That's you. That's me.

But I feel like that's you, too. Yeah, it is. That's true. Yeah. I don't. OK, so we're we're all Paul, a little bit of Paul McCartney, little bit of John Lennon, George Harrison and nobody's Ringo. Ringo's.

Vingo is fucking great, by the way. Yeah, yeah. We're all three ego maniacs, right? You think we're that we're the Beatles. The difference is that we're in our forties and the Beatles broke up in when they were 26. Yeah, but they looked like they were in their forties. Yeah, they did.

They have baby faces, but they also look ancient. The way people used to. That's interesting. I do agree with you, though, Charlie. I've always and I've talked to you guys about this, like, I've always felt like our show, like, I've always felt a thought of us more as almost more as a band than than people making a TV show because, you know,

there's there's not many people out there that and there, you know, there's a handful for sure. But like, there's there very few people are actually the writers on the show who are also the actors, like, who make the show, write the show, produce the show and act on the show. You know what I mean? In the same way that band writes their music

and then goes and performs it. Well, that was the interesting thing to me, too, is like how sort of generous they are with each other in that where, you know, you sort of hear these stories about, oh, they're fighting and stuff, but not really. You know, it's like, Paul would have an idea and they would like hear it out and then John would want to do thing or George got a little

testy about something. But then they, you know, they're like, all right, let's do it your way and. Yeah. Oh, so I am George. You said he got testy. That I'd say I don't know there, but that sounds like. No, we'll get testy.

I feel like I'm feeling chippy this morning. You are chippy. What's going on? You seem chippy. I got like four hours of sleep. Oh. Well, are we going to talk about Sunny or are we going to talk about how we're the Beatles?

I just pulled up my notes. I think the Beatles conversation is a hair more interesting, but yes, we can segue into Sunny. Yeah. And listen, then we can segue back into the Beatles. I'm down with that. Or we can talk about other bands, you know, that aren't the fucking Beatles.

This episode did not make me feel like we were the Beatles. No. No. Doesn't it hold up for me? Well, there are moments. Yes, there's a lot of really, really funny moments. So there are like some high, high highs. And then there's a couple of kind of clunky lows, I feel like.

There were some things, though, that we established in this episode. Like, I believe this is the first reference. Am I wrong about this? To Charlie Killing Rats? Oh. He comes into the beginning. He's like, I just told about how many ever rats in the basement.

And I'm like, good work. Yeah. You know? And I think that was the first reference to you being the guy who's like, you know, killing rats in the basement. This show is so old. And we did that so long ago that there were still many, many places, bars, that allowed smoking indoors.

Yes. Right. And that picked up on that round. It was a round that change where they were making laws. There was a debate in this episode about whether or not you could smoke inside. Yes. That's hard to believe.

Sure, you could still smoke inside some places. Like some. Casinos and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right, right. But like your average pub in the US, I don't wear it. Now, where in the United States now is that going everywhere now?

I think it is. Because I think it's a state-by-state thing. So I have to think that maybe there are some states that just don't give up. But you can also like make that a rule of whatever establishment you own. I believe it. Yeah, I believe so.

Like regardless. Yeah. Yeah, of course. That'd be crazy. Guys, you remember that where that rat thing was coming from? No. Because I had so many rats in my house. Oh, yeah, you were getting in my house.

Yes, you had real rats. Yes, and you had a rat terry. Yeah, I had a dog. Yeah, and the rat terry would just be like, pfft. Yeah. Sleep in, and the rat would like run over its head. Yeah, you had to bat.

I remember very distinctly, you had to bat. I do remember that. But you had a good system, and then I've adopted that system. And I just used it last weekend when my cat had a mouse that was like still alive, and he was like playing with it, because he's a savage. And I used the way that you taught me how to kill it. Oh, man, I don't remember.

I was pretty ruthless in the day, and it haunts me. You could still hear their screams. You put it in the bag. You put it in the bag. No, it's a good way to go. Look, let me tell you something. It's quick. Yeah, you put it in a bag and you smash the fuck with it.

There are humane traps. You can catch these things, and you can bring them way out to the woods or whatever. But during the pandemic, I had two mice get into my house, and they were like chitting everywhere and wreaking havoc. And I caught these fuckers in a glue trap, and I was like, I can't do it. I can't kill the mouse.

So I got olive oil. I got the thing out of the trap, right? I got all the glue out of its fur, and I released it in my yard, and I was like, I felt better about that. I'm like, all right, I'm sorry, little mouse. And then a hawk just immediately came down. Well, I'll tell you what, the fuckers came back.

They came back in the house. Now they got to die. Now they got to die. They got to die. Shut up, everyone. Shut up. I did it, guys. This episode is brought to you by Peter.

Don't tell me you're doing murder, I asked. This episode is brought to you by Peter. Giving animals a chance all over the world and making you feel bad about your choices regarding animals. Hey, I'm Peter, and I bash rats. Peter, rat, bash it. Oh, Peter. Peter, that's it.

That's it, yeah. So then these fuckers come back in the house, and I get a humane trap. I'm like, I catch them in a humane trap. I catch them. I drive them all the way. I read that you have to take them like 20 miles from your house, otherwise they, so I find a nice trash dumpster

in Griffith Park that I'm like, this is a good place for you to live. Yeah. And I let them out there. Oh, good for you. Hey, you know, there are actually, this is crazy, somebody told me, because they were having a rat problem at their house, which was a friend of ours,

they said that they found a rat sanctuary. OK, so there are places you can get. The thing that I find so funny about, so what they do is they take in rats, right? Like in the way that you would, that other organizations would maybe take in a stray cat or stray dog. They take in stray rats, right, from people who have trapped them and don't want to kill them, I guess.

And then they try to, you know, they have a certain email list or whatever, and they contact people who would like to adopt these rats. Great. And the thing that I think is so funny about that is I can almost guarantee you that 99% of the people that are adopting them are feeding them to other animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I'm saying? Like, nobody's like, there aren't enough people out there that are like, I would like to have a rat as a pet. No, they're like feeding it to their, to their boa constrictor. But at least you're reinstituting the natural order of things. So that's not a bad thing. Yeah, in my case, what I'm talking about, my cat is a legit savage and will bring the mice

in and torture it. Yeah, yeah, I do now have a stray cat to keep all manner of small creatures from my home. And so he's, the mouse is already dying, and the cat's like, I'm going to keep this thing alive so I can fuck with it. And so that's why I bashed him. Do you think if they could, the organization PETA would

like have a go at your cat and come down on your cat and make your cat feel bad about what it does to these mice? You know what I'm saying? No. It's torturing animal and animal. Yeah, but it's another animal who doesn't have the brain capacity to understand what it's just doing, what a cat does. I think it knows exactly what it's doing.

Because the thing is, is like, the spirit of a witch is living inside that cat. You know that, right? Yeah. You know that's how it works, right? Witches, they die, they shed their bodies, and then they go into cats, and then you rescue them, and they torture animals.

So really, it'd be PETA sort of, it's really coming down on witches though. Yeah, yeah. By the way, I don't mean to put down all witches. I think there are probably a lot of witches out there that are doing good things. I just don't know what they are. Well, you've got to educate yourself.

Well, we don't. First of all, there are no witches out there. Don't go calling yourself a witch. And tell you get your ass on a broom and fly across the sky. Right. Bullshit. But you're not a witch. You're not a witch.

You're not a witch. You could be into witch shit. Right. That's cool. You could be witchy. You could be into witch culture. You could identify as a witch, which in these days is about as close as you can get.

Is it still appropriate to call a male witch a warlock? Or is that a separate thing? No, no, no. I think you're right. I think it's a warlock. So a witch is very specifically only women. Yeah, that's right. Well, you could be a witch.

Can you speak for all women? Is that accurate? You could be a witch doctor, in which case you could be a man or a woman. Because doctors are men and women. Why did you give me that look? Men and women and all people can be doctors. Witch doctor, you wouldn't call it a warlock doctor,

although that's pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, warlock doctor. Oh, warlock doctor. We just created a new show, guys. Warlock doctor, you know what I mean? He's like. I'm traveling medicine man. Medicine person, medicine person.

Sorry, medicine. Oh, no, we said specifically that the warlock. If you add war to it, it's male. Fair. Yeah. Let me consult my notes, guys. All right. So I'll shout out to Lucas Papalius.

Yeah, he's so good in the episode. He's great. Yeah, he's the guy. Minimally, but I should I miss him. I should reach out to him. The guy with the long hair who's protesting. Yeah, was an actor, pal of mine from New York. Yeah.

And a very talented guy. It was always fun to still live in New York at the time. So it's easy for him to make the trip into Philly. Right. It was always fun to hire our friends because, you know, first of all, a lot of our friends are super talented. And but it's also that there's that dynamic that you guys have. And that scene that like you just wouldn't get necessarily

with a with a regular guest. Yeah, with a stranger guest star. Like, you know what I mean? Like he's he's really playing with you because he knows your sense of humor. He knows your style and he knows he can play. Yeah. Bringing it back to the warlock conversation.

Charlie may dabble in the dark arts because I believe Charlie Day or Charlie Charlie. Charlie Day. Why do you think that? Because you're the only person consistently through season through season that doesn't change the way you look exactly the same. You look very different, Glenn.

Caitlin looks very different. I look different. I think Danny looks different. I look the same as just genetics. Well, see, he might not be dabbling himself, but like he like. I could have a good witch on my side. That's what I'm saying is going to stop their witchy spell because they heard me denounce witches.

I take it back. Thank you for your witch and thank you for this fountain of youth. That yeah, yeah, absolutely. I don't I don't agree. I look much younger in those episodes. Well, I'm looking at you now. Yeah, but in my mind, you you you seem I mean, but yeah, dude, that was 16 years ago.

You don't look dramatically different. No, you don't look dramatically different. That's it's kind of weird. I haven't done dramatic things to myself, you know, like I haven't like a gain a dramatic amount of weight star or silly for years. Yeah, I can't. I don't have the discipline. Yeah, you got to have discipline to starve yourself, guys.

It's not easy. It hurts. Yeah. Yeah, I bet because your body is dying. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, can you tell? OK, so Charlie, tell tell everybody the story behind the rock flag and eagle song that became so iconic. I feel like it's a riff that like horns be and I have.

Where horns be and I would joke about truck commercials and that they, you know, they at that time, I don't know if they're still doing this. It seemed like they were just pumping out the most they were stereotypical American things. So it was like eagles and rocks and it was just like, you know, yeah. Flags, flags, flags flying everywhere. And they're still doing that.

Balls. They're still doing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think the F 150 is the still the highest selling vehicle in the United States of America. I think, Megan, you want to verify that for me? I believe that's right. Or maybe it's the highest selling truck, but I think it's the I think it's the it is the highest selling vehicle.

Yeah. So we used to joke around about like car commercials and, you know, like, I got rocks and flags and he goes, you know, drop a big truck on a kick's mass, whatever. So that I think it was just coming from there. It's like grabbing that riff in my head. But also, you know, Mary Elizabeth had a really funny one, too. She used to joke

that they would take it as far as like Jesus carrying the cross. And then all of a sudden, like a truck comes up and he like throws the cross in the back of the truck to take himself up the hill. I was like, Jesus tries to afford. So credit credit to Mary Elizabeth for that one. That's that's pretty great. But that was not scripted at all.

Was what was scripted? There was not a song to be sung. He just started. I think it was just like, don't try it on me. Yeah, don't try it on me. And I remember. But I remember talking about this with him at the time. I don't remember if it was when we were writing the script

or when we were doing the scene and him telling because I remember him telling us back in the day that was something he and Hornsby used to joke about. Yeah, about truck commercials. But the song, I think, was just you just came up with the song. Yeah, just spit it out on the spot. I do feel like the chorus, the rock flag and eagle. That was from the thing.

Yeah, it ended with that. But then that was the thing that you guys used to do. But you added a whole thing before it. Like, I love that you're laughing through the whole thing. Yeah, but I can see. Yeah, and I remember they were laughing too, which is why we don't cut, which is why we don't cut to them. Well, no, we don't cut to us.

Cut to us. That's why I was watching the episode last night and Jill was with me. And she it's like one of her her favorite moments in the entire show. And she loves it like we sing it all the time in our house. But it's great because you look at Caitlyn and she just reacts like a real you know what I mean?

It's like looking at him like, what is he doing? You know what I mean? I know for a fact that you and I were just laughing. Yeah, that's why you don't cut. You don't cut to us at all. You basically wait until he leaves and then it cuts back to our reaction. That's right.

Because we were laughing through the whole thing. Yes. That's funny. And we would have ruined it. I also remember laughing. I don't think you would be able to get through that now. I think you would have cracked yourself up even more now than you would back then.

No, I think it switched. I think in the beginning, I think I was much more quick to think something was funny that I was doing. And now it's fucking you, man. And you, too. When you do a funny thing, I'm dead. I'm like, I can't.

It kills you. I can't look at you. The scene, I remember that was really hard to get through, was you talking about explaining that you don't want to be high on the ground. Yeah, what a girl's going wild is. And we got like so close. My god, he is so straight in this episode.

Yeah, oh, I was so straight. You're a different character. Yeah, I'm a completely different person. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. That's actually, I was thinking that, too, when I was watching. I'm like, oh, I feel like this is the first time I ever did that sort of like Dennis creepy, you know,

creepy Dennis thing of like, you know, because it's very reminiscent of what we do later in the episode where I say like, don't you want to live in another man's skin? You know what I mean? There was something very funny to me about like a very low voice, very intense, you know? Yeah.

And I remember thinking that at the time, like, oh, that's funny. Like if it gets very quiet. Yeah. And I think I remember Charlie kept saying like, get closer, get closer, get closer. And the closer we would get, I mean, it's like almost like the way I talk all in the microphone.

Yeah. And your lips were like right up against my face. Yeah. I couldn't stop laughing. I noticed you better without the pop card. The pop card was luring you in. Yeah, it was. Like without the pop card, you seem to be fine.

Yeah. Why? Yeah. I don't know if they know what that means. But I will say the pop card, I feel like does a better job at preventing the pops because I can pop the shit out of this thing and, you know. We might have to go back to the pop card.

That might be a Juilliard thing. I've gotten so good at, I got so good at articulating, you know what I mean? That like my peas are particularly, my plosives are particularly intense. Mmm, yes. The top three vehicles in the US are trucks. Yes.

The top one is the Ford F-Series, yeah. What'd I say? Yeah. Yeah. What percentage of person, how good did that make you feel? You were very happy about that. You were so excited to be right about that. Well, you know, it's like, you know, it's like,

one of those things where like, I know I'm a smart guy and then when I say something smart and it proves to the world how smart I am, then it's like, oh, now not only do I know that I'm really, really smart, now everyone knows. Right, right. So of course it feels good. It's satisfying.

Yeah, for sure. For sure. I like when I get something right. I'm very happy with it. Yeah. Always. If you get super happy about getting something right though, probably what it really is is that.

You're super insecure about how often I'm wrong. Yeah, oh my God. Yes, yes. Yeah, we all are. Everyone's got that. Sorry, guys. Can we stop down for a second to talk about trucks? Why did that percentage of people need trucks?

How do people need a truck? A lot of people need trucks. A lot of people are working and need that truck. That's what I'm saying. You're not hauling lawn equipment around and lumber and all that kind of stuff. But I think, you know, the average American is just like, needs to be able to haul shit around because they can't.

The average American, the majority of people or haul needs to be able to haul. Well, they're super, yes. Yes, and they're super cost effective. They are cost effective. By the way, I like trucks. I kind of want one. I absolutely want a truck.

I had to pick up trucks for you. You had a Toyota and Codemarie. It's pretty un-American of you. But you had to pick up trucks for sure. Yeah, that was a little bit un-American of you though. You want to talk about that? Toyota? Yeah, that was made in the US of A.

Did you color out the side so it just said yo on the back? No. Oh, you didn't do that? No, I should have. That would have been cool. That's the move. It would have been funny for you to do it knowing how stupid that is,

but to do it just to annoy your friends. Yeah. You know what I mean? That would have been the case. That seems like you're a sense of humor. My brother still drives that truck. He still has that? Oh, yes, he does.

Yeah, they look 20 minutes. Those things last forever. Great truck. Great truck. And you really do use it a lot more often than you think. Well, listen, I mean, you know, if you can't hire a mover, because you don't want to have to pay the money, then you get your friends together

and you throw stuff in your trucks and you haul it from here to there. My buddy's dad hauled kids in the back of his truck. We would go to baseball games and stuff in the back of his truck. That was before the dual cab truck was more prevalent, right? The only time that we had to get down is when we were going over the bridge

and going off the island and in Rhode Island and it'd be like, all right, get down and we'd go through the toll booth because I don't want to get pinched going like 50 on the highway with six kids in the back of a pickup truck. But let me tell you what, it was awesome. It was the best way to ride. Super fun.

Super fun. Super dangerous and super, super fun. We did the same fun. Safe kills the fun, man. It does, doesn't it? It kills all the fun. Oh, God. There's a moment in the episode that always made me laugh

that there's a lot of it that's in the... There's outtakes of it in the bloopers, but it's... I always find it so funny the concept of like D asking you, where is your breath? Oh, yeah. Yes, in my mouth. And you think it's in your mouth?

And it's... The reason it's funny to me is because like it's plausible that somebody would be like, where's my breath? Well, I feel it in my mouth. Like that's where... Well, technically it is in your mouth also, you know. Right, right. And if you're looking for it, where would you find it?

Yeah. Find it in the mouth. And then in the bloopers... In the bloopers, you know, you misunderstood, you know, like, she's like, no, no, it's in your diaphragm. And you're like, what? No, the diaphragm, that's the... And then you like make a gesture, like to keep the babies out or whatever.

In the little rubber, like... Yeah, yeah. The amicote that goes into your... In the... In the outtakes, you refer... You say that like, yeah, it goes in the monkey hole. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

That's right. And we got that. Why don't we put that on the episode? I don't know. Maybe we thought it was too far. Or too far? I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe because like you guys were laughing. Yeah, maybe we laughed through it probably. I don't know, but that was one of the first instances in which somebody was making Caitlyn break consistently. Oh, yeah. She's tough. She's like, laugh. Not to crack.

She's tough. Yeah. That's one of the first scenes I actually remember doing, just me and Caitlyn. Although I know there are other ones from the... Like when we go to see the pop-op. Yes. In the season before. But for whatever reason, that one sticks out to me as like...

It wasn't a pairing that happened all that often. Yeah. And we were riffing and it was funny. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that scene. I love everything about it. Yeah, I don't get that pairing a lot.

And I always enjoy it. Yeah. So, big theme in this episode, obviously, is patriotism. Right? Uh-huh. Do you guys consider yourselves patriots? Are you proud of this country? Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. I love this country. So do I. Good. I'm glad we established that. Now, if you were to fight for this country and join one of the armed forces, which branch of the military do you think you would be inclined to join? I think I want to be a Marine.

You want to be on the ground. You want to get after it. Yeah, yeah. Just to have gone through that and say, yeah, I'm a Marine. Don't fuck with me. Right. That'd be pretty cool. So you wouldn't do it to fight for your country.

You'd do it because on the other side of it, you'd be like... For both, pal. Considered a tough guy. For both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. The perception. You like the perception of being a Marine.

No, I would like the reality of being a Marine. You would. Yeah, my buddy Carl's a Marine. And when the shit goes down, I know Carl can snap to action. Oh, I see. And take care of business. Right. Right, right, right.

And that doesn't mean like a bar fight. That means any kind of situation. Right. Getting stuck out in the woods and knowing how to build a fire and, you know, how to get rescued. And, you know, if you come across a bear, you're like, bitch, I'm a Marine. And then you get killed anyway because this doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Unless you're done. Yeah. But your attitude is different, right? You're not screaming. You're not screaming and running away. You're screaming and running at the bear and the bear is going, oh, no, that doesn't work. That doesn't work. I know you've been taught that, but I'm going to maul you now and then you die.

But either way, you die a hero because you were a Marine. Unless you win. Unless you kick that bear's ass. That's true. How would you do that? I'm going to rip its head right off. I'm a Marine, man. Right.

Just jump on its head. Like jump on it from behind and choke it out and then fucking, you know, like start going at it with your bowie knife. Yeah. I grabbed the nearest source of distraction, right? Whether it's a big rock or maybe just like a little bridge. You wave it in its face. Yeah.

They love that shit. Yeah. And it's like, what the fuck is this? What is this? Is it food? Does this beast have a longer arm? And then before that stupid ass bear knows it, bam. You're on it.

Rock to the head. Yeah. But this is fantasy Marine, man. Yeah. That's right. Well, by the way, a rock to the head on a bear, I think, would probably just be like, wow. It's just going to piss it off.

You know what I mean? Like there's. Right down the throat. Yeah. Oh, you stuff it down its throat. Like, like. I don't know. I'm not a Marine.

I haven't been training this. I would stick a bone in its mouth like Luke Skywalker did to that creature in Return of the Jedi. You remember when he gets. Yeah. When he falls down into the pit in Jabba's lair. Yeah. And then the Rancor.

Yeah. The Rancor. Yeah. He's got it. And so he takes a bone and sticks it in its mouth. And you know, that was pretty. That was pretty cool. And then he throws a rock and hits the thing and the gate comes down on the Rancor's neck.

Yeah. You don't always really loved about that scene. Can I just say this real quick? Like I would always what I find so this is why this is why those that first trilogy was just so great is one of the reasons one of the many reasons. But like I love that like he kills this like this this monster this monstrous scary fucking creature that like basically its whole thing is it eats the people that get thrown into that pit.

Right. And it's scary and it's got a scary mouth and it looks scary and it sounds scary. And then Luke kills it. And and as it's dying, it sounds like a sweet little it's like and you kind of feel bad for it. And then the the trainer, the guy, the handler, the Rancor's handler that's like fat guy comes waddling in and is crying. Yeah.

Yeah. He's crying. Because he's so upset. He doesn't really fuck the kids at home up. But you know. Yeah. Yeah. I remember that.

I just thought it was such a good touch like that. Yeah. And the movies in the 80s, they would not have they would not have portrayed a creature like it was more simple than that was like this is a bad monstrous creature. And the good guy is going to kill it and you're not going to feel bad at all because it was a bad creature. But in this one, you're like, no, no, no, it's like there was someone who cared for this creature who fed this creature who took care of it.

And I think that's brilliant. So good job, George Lucas. Good job. Star Wars. Yeah. Good job. Star Wars. I think you're going to make it.

Yeah. Star Wars. I know you're the host, the host of the podcast, so I'm sorry to take that responsibility from you for just a second, but can I ask you what what armed force would you like to join? I did want to go back to that. Yes. Well, I, I, I think I think I pretty like by default almost would have probably joined the Air Force because my just because my grandfather was, well, at the time it actually wasn't the

Air Force, it was the Army Air Force because the Air Force was a part of the, the Army. They weren't their own branch yet, but, um, and then so he was in the Air Force and then my, then my dad, of course, was a Air Force Academy graduate and flew airplanes and so he was in the Air Force. So I think I probably would have done that. You know? Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, it's like, you know, and by the way, that's the reason my, my grandfather joined the Air Force when he was like in his late twenties because he knew he was going to get drafted for World War II. He was a jazz musician. He played the trumpet and he played the piano. He was in a jazz band. That's what he did. He was a jazz musician, but he was like, I'm about to get drafted.

And he's like, I think I'd rather be in the air than on the ground. So before getting drafted, he joined the Air Force and became a pilot, which I think is pretty interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And your dad, your dad fought in Vietnam, right? I mean, he's, and then my dad flew in Vietnam. Yeah.

Yeah. My grandfather also, I mean, he saw some, you know, I think he thought maybe it was going to be safer in the air and boy was it not. Well, my grandfather thought it would be safer in the sea and it wasn't. No. It wasn't safe anywhere. No. No.

It was a war. It was a war. It was a war. These are some tough people. No, but I mean, I'm not kidding when I tell you that my dad tells stories of my grandfather that were told to him by my grandfather. My grandfather never got around. I never got around.

I was, I don't know, a kid and I never got these stories, but like my dad was telling me, after almost every single mission, my grandfather would bring his B-52 bomber back and land it and it would just look like Swiss cheese. Yeah. Just, you know what I mean? He was just getting shot. Just shot the pieces up in the sky. Like barely getting it back.

Yeah. My grandfather was on an aircraft carrier and he would talk about getting strife like on a daily basis. Straved. Straved. Sorry. On a daily basis. And then like he would come home and the boat would be like torn apart.

He got shot. Yeah. And like they were in their early 20s. Yeah. And when I was in my early 20s, I was navigating traffic down Franklin. Right. You know what I mean? And I was like, this sucks.

Bitchin' about traffic. I gotta fucking sit here while the traffic got up Laurel Canyon and I'm like, I gotta get home. I gotta get. My grandfather died. In the war. In a military training accident in an airplane. I didn't know that.

Wow. I didn't know that either. My dad was four. So I never met the man. Oh man. Yeah. How about that? Should we hug?

Should we hug? Do we hug him? You know. So my grandfather, you know. Hands on his head. My grandfather. You know. So.

Thanks guys. I never met the man. Never met the man. Aw. That is sad. That is sad. That's too bad. That's too bad.

Yeah. My grandfather, so my grandfather, one story that my dad told me about my grandfather that I'd never heard and he told me this last Christmas, I think, or the last Christmas I was home, which sadly was two years ago because of the pandemic. Can you get more specific about one story? I know. I know. I know.

I go into unnecessary detail. Give me the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The plane was getting strafed and at one point he saw his friend and his co-pilot literally just get physically cut in half, cut in half by bullets. He then fell forward on the yoke and was pushing the plane downward. So my grandfather had to proceed to fly the plane with one arm while holding his best friend with the other arm holding him up so that he wouldn't push the plane, push the plane down and landed the plane that way. That's the kind of thing that like I can't even wrap your head around that. No.

No. To tie it into the episode in some regard, because we have a deer hunter reference in this episode for those who've never seen the movie, the deer hunter, the sort of roulette, the Russian roulette game they're playing at the end with frank little eye patches stolen directly from the movie, the deer hunter. When I saw that film, it rocked me for two reasons. One just like, maybe I was young enough to be like, oh, war is like this, war is bad. But also in terms of acting, where I think you're a kid and you see Superman or three

amigos or whatever, and you see the deer hunter and you're like, oh, acting can be that. That's what acting is. And that's the thing that really, that's the movie that changed me in terms of. Yeah. The performances in that movie are just, if you guys haven't seen the deer hunter, you gotta, you gotta. It's just like it's required. It's just like Sonny.

It's very similar to Sonny. But it is amazing to think about like, because I've met your dad, I've hung out with her dad many times and he couldn't be kinder or sweeter and he, it must be difficult though, in some way to like come back from what he, what he had to experience in Vietnam. And then just fold, not only just fold back into normal society, but then also have to listen to people complain about the shit we've complained about. That's right. It was everybody's experience and pain and struggles relative to get that.

But still like, when to go through something like that and then come back here and hear me bitch about, like I said, like the traffic on Laurel Canyon, I mean, who gives a fuck? Yeah. No, I, he did. I mean, he did experience that as I recall. I mean, he, I don't know, was, I can't see how old was he when he came back. I can't remember. He must have been 25 or 26 when he came back.

My brother did the same thing. I mean, he did two tours in Afghanistan, flew Apache helicopters and, but he couldn't be kinder or sweeter and he doesn't, he just texted me the other day and he's like, I heard about your foot, you know, like, you're like, tour some ligaments, ligaments, my foot and. Yeah. Man up or yeah, he had empathy. Yeah. Which is, which is crazy considering what he had to go through.

Yeah. I mean, I think those guys felt a lot. I mean, I know my dad, he came back and he was like, he didn't, he was like, he didn't know what was going on in the culture, you know what I mean? He didn't know what was going on, going on like music wise or like, you know, and, and I think, yeah, to some degree, everything just kind of felt like super weird to him. Like the things that people concerned themselves with were, were, were very strange to him. Like the Beatles.

Oh, really? Well, the Beatles. Oh, yeah. Oh, you mean, you mean his experience of the Beatles? He was a big guy. Yeah. He's got long hair now. I don't know.

I was just trying to, I was trying to bring it back around just cause, you know, it's a comedy podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll cut all this. We'll cut all this. No, don't cut it.

Don't cut it. Don't cut it. Don't cut it. Don't cut it. Guys, we love our service members who. Yeah. Oh, very, yes. You know, very much so.

But many friends and family. Patriotism, man, that's, that's been adopted by all sorts of extreme groups that it's pretty frustrating. It is frustrating. It's frustrating the implication that if you're a liberal and a Democrat that you're not as much of a patriot. That's what it feels like. I know that's maybe not.

We're just, we're all suffering the extremes of this country. Just like the extremes on the right, extremes on the left. I think most people fall somewhere in the middle and are just like, what, can we, can these guys just shut up? But they, they can't. That's, that's their thing. That's the nature. Yeah.

That's, that's what it is. Speaking of falling somewhere in the middle, can we talk about that jacket? Talk about that jacket for a second. It's kind of sort of like a Southwest vibe. Those wearing a button up snap, snap up, yeah, you're going to have to go to the video to check it out. Yeah. We have video now.

Kind of has like a, yeah. Right. Like a Santa Fe kind of. Yeah. Like a Conor from Succession vibe. I dig it. Conor from Succession. Right.

Yeah. I see the, the, the one who wanted to run for president. Yeah. From Ferris Bueller. Yeah. From Ferris Bueller. Yeah. Allen Brock.

Yeah. You guys got that kind of Southwest vibe. I'll tell you. Yeah. That show, the guy who plays Tom. Amazing. Oh my God. Everybody on that show is.

Everyone's amazing. But like, I feel like as an actor, I see that guy and I'm like, oh man, this guy's got all the pitches. Fastball, slider, curve, everything. He does. Yeah. Everything. He's got the goods.

He's got the goods. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. He's, he's. Holy cow. So being funny is like nothing I've ever seen. I've never seen an actor do comedy the way he's doing comedy. He's great.

Never. Top notch. Top notch. Is there something else you wanted to ask me about this jacket? I've just never seen that before. I've never seen you wear that. Even, I've never seen you dress in that style. It was.

Is this a new thing? Is this something we're going to lean into? No, no. I've actually had this jacket for a really long time and I haven't worn it because I, I thought it was, I felt like it was too long. Um, you know, you can't really see how long, but I actually asked Charlie when I first came in, I was like, Hey man, do you think this jacket's too long? No, it's not long at all.

And he said, why are we talking? Why are you talking to me that we haven't started the podcast yet? Right. Save it. Save it. Um, and no, but he actually told me that it wasn't too long and now I feel pretty good about it. You know what's cool?

It's reversible. Look at that. Oh yeah. I like it. That's a ton of fun. That is a ton of fun. Isn't that fun? A reversible jacket is just, yeah, it's a twofer.

Yeah. It's great. Yeah. Your dad's getting shot to shit and you got a reversible jacket. That's right. There we go. Yeah. You're wondering if your jacket's too long.

Right. Hey man, look, we gotta live, you know, you gotta be you. Hey guys, this was the first time we had Margaret McPoyle on the show. Yes. Correct? Yeah. One of the funniest things in the, in the episode, if, again, for those of you who are going to go back and watch these with us, um, in the, there's a moment where, um,

where Nate Mooney's character, uh, uh, where Ryan McPoyle is making out with Margaret McPoyle and Liam is just sitting there watching. Now do yourselves a favor. It was very hard to take your eyes off of what's happening with Ryan and Margaret. Do yourself a favor. Next time you watch it, don't watch Ryan and Margaret at all. Just watch Jimmy Simpson. Just watch Liam McPoyle's reaction to, uh, to what, to that make out session because

it is so funny. It's so joyful, right? Well, yeah, he's just, he's just like watching with like a little like smile on his face and just like, he's just like, yeah, yeah. And he's almost kind of laughing a little bit like, cause I think he also probably, Jimmy probably found it slightly amusing and he was like, well, that works for the character. I think it's interesting that we're, we kind of all, after watching the episodes, we kind of all agree when one is like good, like holds up, you know, to our standard now.

When one doesn't, we have a baseline for what we want it to be. And it's, it's, it's very difficult to, to make any kind of movie or any kind of television show work because there's no math to it. There's no science equation of like, you simply add this and this and this and it all adds up, you know, and, and that thing that you're looking for, much like when the Beatles are looking for a song, there's no like meter that goes off and says, yes, this is a working song and this is how you get there. You have to make it up as you go along.

And it's, it, I agree. It's very interesting that we all have some kind of standard for what that is. Glenn, you and I later today are talking about the season of sunny in the press on another podcast. Right. And without discussing, you and I both picked the same episode to talk about. Is that interesting? Yeah.

I found that interesting. And I do feel like that particular episode, which is the second of the Island ones, I feel like is one of the best ones we've done for years, but I, you know, who knows exactly how we get there or why. It's interesting. So yeah, we all watch this episode and say, oh, there's moments of what we want the show to be and there's moments of what we don't want to show to be. And we can kind of learn from that and go to the next episode, but you can't really

learn until the next year because we're doing them all at the same time, you know? Yeah. Well, and also you just, you just, our tastes, you know, change through the years. And I, I'm not, my sense of humor is not the same as it was in 2006. Sure. But I bet we, I bet we, I can't know for sure, but I bet we felt roughly the same back then. Roughly. We were probably like, oh yeah, there's some good parts of this one and, you know, maybe

some aspects that, as soon as it can be, you guys don't want a podcast without me? You declined, buddy. You weren't, you were invited. Which one? Which one was it? I don't think he wasn't. He wasn't invited. He wasn't invited.

Oh, I didn't know that. Vulture? Yeah. So the good one. Yeah. You were unavail. Tech, tech unavail. Well, I can, I'll make myself available for you guys.

I thought, ah, usually I thought you were good. We're good. We got it. It's fine. Yeah, we got it. We've learned a lot here. Yeah. Yeah.

We got it. We learned a lot about you. Yeah. I think we've gotten enough out of you today. Um, guys, I just want to say I love America. Uh, I am very grateful for this country that we live in. I'm actually not even joking at all. I think we're extraordinarily lucky to be born here, not that other countries aren't great

either, but I'm very happy to be an American and, um, I would like to sign off by just saying rock flag and eagle. I'm with you. I believe in America and I believe in, uh, where we can get with America, you know, which is that, that's the great thing about this country is that we can keep attempting to improve it. There's a lot, I think there's a lot of people out there frustrated about, uh, where the country's at.

Yeah. And, and worried. And, uh, and we've been through bumpy roads before and we'll get through it or we won't. And it's all going to end. I don't know. It may end. But if you're looking for your answers in a, in a comedy podcast, you know, that's probably part of what's wrong.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rob. You want anything? Rob. Rob. Rock flag and eagle.

Something you said, Rob flag and eagle. Mmm. That's sort of a boy. That's, I gotta, I gotta dig deeper. Yeah. That's a Freudian slip there. Yeah. Rock.

Flag. Yeah. An eagle. All right. Well, John Paul and Ringo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.