The Always Sunny Podcast - Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

Episode Date: May 16, 2022

Any listener right now needs to become a creep very quickly.

Welcome to the podcast everybody How are you? You guys are all over the world. I I'm in the city that we all live in you're you're elsewhere. Can you tell us where you are? I'm in New York City New York City New York City at a fancy on the hotel. Oh Shit, what are you sipping there? Go go go do whatever you got to do. I'll talk to Charlie fuck this guy, right? I mean, let's get rid of let's just fuck this guy. He wants to get up. I know how he can still hear us

He's got the ear buds in fuck. Damn it. He's outsmarted That's a nice place you're staying in. Hey, man. It's not too bad. Caitlyn Caitlyn is very upset She noticed the angle that I use. She's very upset with it She thinks that people give a flying fuck about what that is in the background and I don't care But I do appreciate that Glenn made it look nice Oh No, this is just what it looked like. I I keep it nice. I keep it nice, you know I mean, I was the first spot where you know, you got a little natural sun shining on your face

You know without a hideous background, this is really the only spot I had where I could get both those things It's a little bit of a weird thing, but look we're both showing you know kitchen stuff. I guess Rob Um, yes. Yeah for the listener. I'm sure this is absolutely fascinating I already getting there to talking about to get you stuff You can see the background of the shot which I cannot see cuz I'm just listening body Well, all the creeps can see that Glenn looks like he's wearing some sort of a beanie

Real fascinating look. I'm into it I'm into it and I'm for the listeners. It's not gonna mean much to you, but it's worth maybe checking out on on the YouTube or the video Podcasts because it's it's it's an interesting look. Let's have a prison cap. I know what it's about though. I Know I don't know if you want to like talk about what it's about or if that's a secret I I I ran this I actually ran this by some people just in case it in case it came up And I figured it would just because it's like yeah, it's tough to avoid You can't hide it, but you can't hide it. I don't know why I chose to wear this particular hat It's just it was kind of a last-minute thing. I was like, oh shit. I need a hat

Yeah, so I am doing it. I'm in Toronto because I'm shooting a movie and My character is is bald on top not, you know completely bald just you know male pattern baldness bald on top and So yeah, I mean, I'll I'll show it doesn't it doesn't It doesn't look that great right now because we did the hair and makeup test on Monday So it's had a little chance to to kind of grow back in It's glorious It is glorious. Yeah, it's growing back in a little bit

The pictures you sent were astounding. It's amazing. I mean any listener right now needs to become a creep very quickly It's worse. Absolutely creep just to watch Glenn Glenn looks as creepy as possible. He's now one of it He's a creep. If you are a seeing creep Glenn has shaved his head hair but left the sides although the sides are very tight as well It's pretty tight. Yeah, it changes over the course of the film It starts kind of longer like this and then by the end it's a little more Jason Statham You know what I mean? It's a little more like down pretty great man down real tight You know, maybe not not as short as this is right now, but it looks it's so good

And how are you feeling about its potential ability to come back? You think it's you know, or this look no No, no, I mean like no the hair you're back or Did you know did the razor hit all the plugs and Jack I mean I just not that it did the thought crossed my mind for sure You know, but I thought well, that's just stupid I mean I shave my face all the time and the hair always comes back like what's you know, I mean, they're just they're just Hair follicles how delicate could they be and yet I feel like I have heard stories

And I don't know if you guys if you've ever had anybody who's like, yeah shave my head and it never came back Like I feel like I heard some people say that but I feel like Danny said that to me once Yeah, yeah, right. He's like, yeah, I took it all off once and then that was it But I don't know I could be making that up now Are you using one of our one are utilizing our sponsors because we have a sponsor who could maybe take care of that head? Wrong head. Yeah. Hey, come on Jokes it for the listeners the creeps They made a sexual reference

Speaking of sex speaking of sexual references and speaking of sex offenders Which is the look that that Glenn does have going on right now and it's not just the baldness. It's the it's not just the baldness And it's not just the baldness. It's the I mean Rob. No, it isn't. I think you look more like a Parisian safecracker or something with that I prefer that I prefer that spin You're gonna tiptoe into that apartment and you might have a croissant and Then you're going to crack I'm gonna guess that anybody who's a Parisian safe cracker is also a sex offender You know just be just throwing that out there. That is so of you are so offensive today I've just run into too many French people who are fucking dickheads. I'm sorry. I don't know

We're doing our best Have you ever met a country full of more dickheads, maybe the US okay fine. All right fine We've got a lot of dickheads around around here too, but man Well, it is an interesting move to be like I'm mad that like I'm mad that you don't know my language And I'm also mad that you're trying to learn it Yeah, I mean like you're mad at you give it a shot Like yeah, yeah, they're just mad. They're just angry. You go. They hate it. Just they're angry about I don't know What they're so angry about they live in a beautiful country. I mean

We they hate that we saved them from well, no, I didn't my grandfather did are you still hang on to that did I Think so just I think really upset about them just getting their fucking asses kicked and the US had to come in and save The sorry and so did the Russians we saved you guys Anyway, I'm just I'm now I'm upset about the French. Yeah, that's okay with us French. I mean Rob I'm very popular in France. I can't go anywhere near this. Oh, maybe maybe that's what it is I'm angry that they have no idea who I am. They're like, oh, they don't know There's too many sounds no He's too many sounds no, it's how do you say?

I do you know, fuck everybody. Yeah, I Had an old I had an old roommate who was French and he and I loved him He's lovely and his his family was lovely. So it's not all the French, but you know what I'm saying. It's a vibe It's a way. I think they're it's the way I think yeah, and they're they're aware I think I think the French I think the French are aware that there is a certain You know number of them that don't you know, and they probably feel misrepresented by the rude ones, you know Because I'm sure there's a quite a few Friendly French people, but they do have a reputation for being a bit a bit sort of like

snooty right little Little sort of dismissive snooty Like, you know, it's this whole thing of like, you know You try to stumble through a couple French phrases because you're trying to order french fries the right way in the country and they're just like Like I love it what they always do today They they come up to the table they immediately start speaking French because they don't know where you're from Although they could probably tell so maybe they don't but but that's fair

You're that's fair. You're in their nation and they're going to speak French to you. Okay, great No, but that's the whole thing once they if they know once they know you are you you're an English speaking person They stop speaking French entirely Because they're like, but we're not even gonna play this fucking game. I don't have time for this shit And you know what they're not totally wrong If that's got to be fucking annoying after a while to watch just you guys I got I got 10 tables I got 10 fucking tables. I got to listen to this guy stumble through his shitty French every time No

It's not it's not gonna work for me, but even though I have so many cigarettes to smoke I have 15 more cigarettes to smoke in the next hour. Well, anyway, yeah, okay Well, so this episode is not gonna travel well over there. I know well I so I'm just gonna say France and if we're playing big in France, we'll cut all that. Oh, that's not a bad idea All right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Maggie'll she'll check the numbers and then decide to cut that cut that cut that or not There is no Meg. Meg is very close to France right now. Meg is somewhere in the Heathrow Airport Do you think she's just like tearing tearing through the airport like all frantic and sweaty and shit like trying to get to her computer? Yes, yes, she's very upset that she's that she's missing this even though we've made it very clear that it's

It's okay to be in Heathrow airport and not be able to get a great Wi-Fi signal It's a whole thing, you know, you go somewhere else and the phone takes a minute to be like, how do I get a How do I get the interweb? Right? What is this? What's what's the system here? What is this? You know what? Maybe if she's in Heathrow she there's there's definitely some French people around Maybe we she could go up and talk to a few of them and just see if they're nice See if the first if they're first instinct is to say hello Um, you're a fellow human. It's a pleasure to meet you. Um, or would I'll tell you something sort of look at you with disdain

Because you're you know, you know, who's really nice You know who's really nice french canadiens canadiens. Yeah, canadiens. Well canadiens and canadiens. Yeah Just just an absolutely lovely lovely luck. I was in a store the other day and there were so many So much gratitude being thrown around, you know from all the customers and Everyone who worked it was a whole smile like a a guy, you know, I bought some wine and uh, and and a guy And the guy said, uh, you know, thanks. Thanks very much for thank me for coming and thank you very much for coming And I said, well, I appreciate you and he goes, I appreciate you Like that was the exchange. It was like, well, I was like, thanks man. I appreciate you and he goes and I appreciate you

And he meant it. He meant it. It wasn't snarky. Like I couldn't even deliver it real Like it made even came off snarky when I did it as I mean, I appreciate you Like but it was very it was very he meant it. You know what I mean? Like so actually, um, I don't know When when I was uh, this was back in 2004. I was visiting a friend Um, uh, who we all know marina backer and she was doing a pilot Sorry, she was doing a tv show in vancouver And uh, I went up there to visit her and we were hanging out and we were driving somewhere and you know, this was like

Four years after I oh no, sorry three years after I'd moved from new york city to los angeles and you know, both both places, you know, can can bring out the uh, the cynic or sort of the uh The uh, misanthropic side of of anyone. Um, but uh, anyway, there was a we were sitting in the car And there was a we were waiting at a red light and there was a crosswalk and a guy walked in front of the car and He walked in front of the car and he just kind of walking like this and he looks over at us sitting in the car and he's like And he waves like that and then he turns and keeps walking marina and I are both like

The fuck The fuck is this guy up to? I don't know this guy. What does he want? What does he want from this guy? What does he want from me? What what what is that shit? What is that shit? What does he want from us? You know, I mean And then he just kept walking and both of us looked at each other. We're like, oh shit. We're assholes Like that guy was just being nice. He was just being nice. That's it. He saw us and he was like gave us a wave and was like You know, just wanted us to have a good day. He was he was floating on a fucking cloud

And he wanted us to feel the same way. Yeah, I don't know I see I think new york gets a bad rap because I think people assume that new yorkers are assholes And I never found that at all. I feel like new york is an incredibly friendly city as compared relative to other other Cities and countries. I've always found that to be the case. I think they're used to be more of a note Yeah, brash like more of a no-nonsense like all right. Hurry up. Do your order My uncle had a really funny story about his first time visiting new york city and he was like this like Tennessee mountain man and he's uh walking down the street

There's a cop standing on the corner and he walks up to the cop and he goes like uh morning officer And the cop goes, yeah, very funny. Keep it moving Very funny Hilarious guy. Oh good morning. Oh, yeah, I guess it is a good morning Yeah, well, I think what you're referring to robin. You're not totally wrong I I actually feel the same way about new yorkers. I think you're I think you're right I mean look there's assholes everywhere, but I think in general I think you're right but um the difference is and I think that you know coming from philly you also

Find this find this refreshing coming from the south You know where everyone is just like overly polite um, I actually found The directness the candor and the brashness of a lot of new yorkers very refreshing I was just kind of like oh great You're not like trying to couch this in a bunch of like flowery fucking bullshit. That's how I feel Don't don't don't give me the fake sweet. I'll take I'll take an asshole over someone who's fake sweet. Absolutely Like absolutely well

Then then go to the midwest because that's for god damn sure. That's legit too. You go to anywhere in wisconsin, for example You walk around and that is a genuine Genuine kindness and compassion that I know. Yes, exactly kindness. I'm here for that's great Yeah, Illinois, wisconsin like the middle part of this country. You walk around and they mean it Yeah, when they say, so how are you? How are you? You know, they they they mean it. That's not like a You know, I'm from the south I have to put on airs and you know, I look I sound like I'm coming down on all southerners I am a southerner. I just I just found that there were there's a certain

number of people in the south who have a tendency to kind of Do this performative sort of greeting every time you walk in the room and like How y'all doing? It's so great to see y'all and you're just like Why Why is it that great? It's not that great to see me. I know it isn't I know it's not that great to see me So don't don't fucking throw out there. Oh my gosh. How long has it been? You're not really wondering how long it's been

You don't fucking care how long it's been. Who cares? It's just it's bullshit. It's performative. I don't like it Well, I I have not spent as much time in the south as you have but I can say that when I do when I do go down there Have traveled to say Louisiana or Mississippi or Texas I appreciate it because I'm not getting on it. I'm not getting it on the regular So it is nice to have people just come up and and whether it's fake or not I have no idea because I'm only there for a week at a time And I'm I'm enjoying the nice the niceties, but I could see that maybe over time you start to step out Who's who you start to see through it? I think you find that most people wherever you go

Wherever in the world their resting state is fairly nice And accommodating not in France not in France. That's what I'm saying. What happened there. I don't know. I don't know It's not again not to suggest that how many there's millions and millions and millions of people that live in France They're not all assholes, but they're resting like you have to get past the artifice and then you find oh, wow What are you? What are you so afraid of? What are you so afraid of over there guys? Oh, you think it's fear nothing because there is no point to life and Exchange that we are having and these meaningless

Uh, it's meaningless and I feel nothing but malaise We're still supported by athletic greens Uh, and their green drink powder ag1 Uh a combination of 75 high quality vitamins minerals whole foods sourced superfoods probiotics And glenn how do you say it adaptogens? Adaptogens. I mean, I mean, it's great. I take it, uh, you know first thing in the morning So it gets absorbed in an empty stomach. I'm getting all those nutrients like right into my system

It tastes excellent and I feel like it doesn't taste too healthy, which is good. I don't want it to taste too healthy What about the smell? I love I love the way it smells. It smells delicious. Think about the smells you bitch Think of the smell as I can confirm it smells just fine to make it easy athletic greens is going to give you a free free one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin d and Five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athletic greens dot com slash sunny Okay, that's important athletic greens dot com slash sunny. That's how meg gets a money Again, megan doesn't get paid megan doesn't get paid. All right, unless you go to athletic greens dot com slash

Sunny, okay. Take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance Well, all right, so we took care of the fridge. Should we talk about the episode? Should we? Yes Well, I have to say I'm I'm I'm excited to talk about the episode But I just I miss you guys. I haven't seen you in a while and I like talking to you just about your life and what's going on So Oh, okay. Well, hey, listen pal. I'm happy to transition. I mean, look, I wish you're here in new york city, man A ton of fun this town Yeah, so we got we got toronto. We got la we got new york and we've got london

I mean, we are recent setters. Well, you guys are the jet setters. I'm just sort of sitting in my the same place Yeah, well, I think we should talk about the episode. Uh, do you guys remember where the impetus what the impetus for this episode was? No Do you? No I don't at all It was a time it was a time where there there was a new law that was out that was that was making people That you had to register as as a sex offender I will say this feels like to me like one of the episodes where we

Just had a funny concept like hey, what if Dennis looked a lot like a guy who was a registered sex vendor I feel like that is could have just been like a card on the wall Like somebody looks like a sex offender or something. Well, I mean, you know, we used to uh I mean, I used to and I think you did too rob and maybe you too charlie But like used to like kind of Just skim through philadelphia newspapers to see what was going on in the city, you know See if there's something specific to philadelphia that we want to deal with and there was a new sex offender law that had been passed

About, you know, how they have to register Um might have been one of those headlines that that caught our eye and we went You know, oh, okay. That's that's kind of an interesting, you know thing and then to have You know Dennis Looked like this guy. I don't know where that came from. But uh, I'll tell you what I was very excited when we were breaking that episode that the thought of like actually getting to play like this guy You know getting just to do to like do, you know Like at eddie murphy or fucking thing, you know what I mean?

Just put on a fat suit and and be just like a totally different guy. That was fun. Yeah I you know what megan, uh, I think sent us a list of questions that I have here And I could read some of them off Glenn used to be the host Well, yeah, no. Oh, well, that was you know, I think what happened was you guys sensed Uh, the power dynamics shifting and you guys were like, we got to step up Otherwise, howerton's going to be the star of this thing and I can't have that. Oh, here she comes

Look at the time. Look at the timing of this Oh Yeah, we were just talking about you from he's This thing was going over like a lead balloon, man. Let me tell you I had your questions. I was going to read your questions off But now you're here and you can do it So are you are you all set up over there microphone and everything recording and you're I have my microphone? Yes I have uh, actually I have a latte

This will prove that I'm here because we don't have this brand in the states that I'm thanks so I'm drinking a coffee. We've done what is what night at like seven o'clock or uh, six six o'clock at night there Is that right? It's a five. I think five thirty five Okay, yeah, but I gotta stay up. I gotta I gotta stay up till like ten tonight to beat this jet lag So do you have your bags and everything megan or are they just like going around at the Thanks. Yeah No, you got your bag

And then you got to a little quiet area How do you find a quiet area in the middle of an airport? I don't understand But I like it. It's it's a nice leather couch and shit like where do you find something a little coffee shop? Well, the airports in um, the uk are lovely. Heathrow airport is like my favorite Sometimes I come here early just like hang out here because it's nice They're fucking everybody hates you at lax, you know, I mean like the second you walk in they're like move keep moving move Keep it moving like you have to stop your car for like two seconds at the curb to let your friend out It's like let's go get the car out of here. I need all the cars out of here

Don't you love too when like you go to tsa and they've changed a rule where they're like We don't need you to take laptops or bags anymore And then they're like irritated with you for not knowing it like they're like no keep your shoes on You're like, well, I don't want you want again people you get to keep one shoe on okay All right once you on as long as you have an orange sock if you have an orange sock You can keep your both shoes on but if you got white socks, you got to take a third of a shoe off Okay, don't make me say it again people The flip side of that is the 75 of people who get who stand in a line for an hour

Then they get to the very front of it and then they have no idea why they're there what's going on apparently They've never been on an airplane before they don't know that they have to walk through a metal detector and that Oh, their phone will set it off or might set it off and therefore it shouldn't be in your pocket That's pretty frustrating. Yeah, that's I was there was a lady who was in scent She couldn't bring her giant bottle of water through she was drinking it's like is this your first time flying Yeah, you never heard that you that's like something even if you haven't been to the airport You don't look like the kind of person that it's your first time flying so you should know this You know what here they've done away with the customs like you just put your passport on like a machine

And it just opens the door and you like walk through but I kind of miss like the interaction with the customs official But I came here once to the uk and they were asking me questions about like what was my business here And I was saying like oh, I'm seeing my husband and they were like what's your business? And I was like I work in television and then the customs guy was like Do you make a lot of money at that and I was like do I have to answer that? Like he just was curious and so he was just asking me how much money I made and I was like It's just weird. He was like, no, I'm just interested. I was like well, it's weird in the capacity of you being a customs agent to ask me questions like that Right, you got how much you got on you right now like what how much you got on

You know, let's let's just say you were having to trouble getting through what you have the means to uh Would you have the the ability to uh, you know grease the grease the squeaky wheel as as it were you know to grease Those tits are they real or what you got working with over there? It's like that sort of questions There are other ways to get into this television effect I I I've talked to I'm sure I I know I've bitched to you guys about this before but one of my Just all-time most infuriating and confusing things is you know the number of times I've been You know, you're waiting at the ticket counter. You don't have to do this kiosks now This is kind of an older problem

But like when you wait at the ticket counter to give them your bags and get you know, uh issued your ticket You know you walk up Here's here. Here's all it is. You walk up you hand them your id which you should already have in your fucking hand unless you're an asshole You hand them the id They print the ticket out. They get your bag. They put it on and you're gone within within three minutes. I'm out of there, you know And yet every single motherfucker that's in front of me Is like the the the person's on the computer

Like fucking writing a writing a fucking novella You're like, what are you? What are you doing? Does this person have like who shows it? Like I imagine people show up to the airport and they're like What is what is this place and they're like, oh, this is an airport Oh, okay. Well, maybe I should go somewhere. Yeah, maybe you should and it just goes on and on like, well, where do you guys fly to? Like what do you how does it take that long like to get you either have a fucking ticket for this flight or you don't? What are you doing? I never understood that and drives me crazy You've always been one you've always been one to to get very fairly frustrated at say

A coffee shop where there's a line of you know, eight people and then You have the people waiting in line and it takes maybe like 12 minutes or maybe it's less Maybe it's four minutes. It doesn't matter the point is when the person finally gets up to the the barista And then says then starts looking at the menu and doesn't know That they want to get Like I'm gonna fucking punch you in the back of the neck you fucking asshole Like what is I just now Meg we've spent the first half of the podcast complaining about the french Do you see any french people around you? Have you heard them? Are you seeing anybody around you who is acting like an asshole? I?

I haven't seen any any french people around, but I'll let you know there must be some I'm in the international arrivals terminal So everybody's here. It's actually the one they shot. Um, love actually in So the you guys probably never seen love actually, but um, women will know that uh, this is the terminal they shot the arrivals seen in Love actually three of us sugarheads Love actually I mean they may as well have titled that movie men don't bother You know and they didn't Love actually

Uh, love actually Don't be sarcastic with me movie title. Uh, fuck you. Yeah, um, it's love. Uh, actually it's love Yeah, yeah, so All right, okay, so there you go Um, the answer the what is that? What does that mean was was the question posed? um Are you with me for the sex? Or are you with me for something else?

Sweetie, um, are you with me for my money? Uh, love actually Yeah, yeah, let's let's let's let's let's let's talk a lot of movie that we've never seen actually and pontificate on Why the movie is called why the title? I like that game yet. Okay. I think it could also be um that it's like you thought you were in love with somebody But then you meet somebody else and you're like Actually, that's love. I didn't realize that until I met this person This is love actually The thing before was just I thought it was that's did I get too real that I did I did I not be funny and I actually nailed it Meg did I know it is that is that kind of someone who's incapable of feeling love and then

Then suddenly like starts to feel it and like this is actually This is love actually love is the it's actually that Yeah, what if what if the movie is about a guy named phil actually? phil actually and yeah, right and then there's a there's star cross lovers There's a woman named jane and she falls she falls in love Actually jane love falls in love with phil actually And uh, this is great. This is really good stuff. All right, so we gotta see who's in that who's in that movie Who's in that movie everyone, right? Isn't it one of those?

Lots like 500 people are in that movie. Yeah, because it's like six different stories I I prefer your version of it to the actual one. So I'm not going to tell you guys what happens in it because You should break your own version. Yeah, I probably did see it and just don't remember seeing it It sounds like a Hugh Grant movie. Was he in that? Is that a Hugh Grant joint? Yes Hugh Grant wasn't it? Oh he Was Of course he was what are you kidding? He was he was in love actually I believe he played the prime minister In the movie of love

It is a gentleman the prime minister of love Love actually Um, oh, it's a christmas movie. It's a christmas movie. It's a christmas movie. The prime minister of kindness of love actually Listen to this cast for one second Hugh Grant Liam Neeson Collin Firth Laura Linney Emma Thompson Alan Rickman Kira Knightley Martine McCutcheon don't know Bill Nye Rowan Atkinson. I must see this movie. These are fantastic actors

We're missing out. Yeah, I mean, you know, it doesn't tickle my fancy. I saw the poster. I knew all those people They just need to do a movie now if the movie was called Guns actually I probably would have gone to see it. You know what I mean? Or like You know fists fists actually, you know, and have that cast I'd be like, fuck. Yeah, man. What is that? Like, what is that shit like? Yeah, or fist action Lee and it's about a guy named Lee and his fist action Yeah, yeah, and all of the stuff that I'm seeing that for sure Are we ever going to talk about this episode? Let's do it. There was one scene and I don't remember what it was Where I was behind the monitors watching you guys

It might have even just been part of the scene and and my stand-in Was doing the thing where he was holding his breath as me um I don't remember which shot it is. I think it's maybe when the lady comes in to speak to us and then after I I don't know why we did that, but I think in those early seasons. We had so little trust about anyone Except one exactly why we would have done that. Yes We're because we're control freaks and somebody had to be behind the camera one. Yeah, so I was behind the camera

I always remember being like wow this guy I think his name was David who was my stand-in um that season was like ripped like I was like this guy Handsome David David was really handsome handsome guy and uh strong And I was like wow great man. Good stand and good good double The thing where where he's where frank falls against the wall and spills all the chicken parts Did that did that line where's like? Ah, you you made me drop all the chicken parts or whatever Is that line in the episode or is that just in the bloopers? I just remember thinking thinking that was really funny to the the idea that he's not cooking chicken

He's cooking chicken parts. Yeah, he says that in the episode. He does. Okay. I couldn't remember. Yeah. Yeah I always I always like that like you know, it's cooking chicken parts. There's a couple specific There's a couple specific things in there that I I remember it during the writing process being really pleased with um, like the very specific the specific the specificity of Turkey sangria and I remember like writing that I thinking it was funny And then I remember you guys reading that and laughing and being like what is that and I Said I don't know but it just sounds funny and your imagination goes to whatever that might be Right turkey sangria at the dinner party you the whatever was on the plates was just like a gray sort of like

Mash like it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I remember that I remember just shooting that and being like, why does it look like this? But everything looks fun. Yeah Yeah, everything just looks like devoid completely devoid. We made it Yeah, because our characters made it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I really think it really helps you See how these people became who they became The the parents I mean are in the parents are worse than the characters. Yeah, the parents are insane worse than our characters Yeah, oh this by the way is the um, mrs. Mack bow episode, which is yeah, you mentioned it in the last one, but Yeah, I mixed them up. That's right. Yeah, this is the one with the one around

I remember because you watched them both, uh, but like I did when you're yeah, I couldn't help myself um, yeah You know what threw me on this one though is is D's motivation for getting Dennis beat up um I kind of felt Like something that we didn't do before and haven't really done since like where the characters will definitely like screw each other over for their own Needs and wants but probably never to like that kind of an extent like to get somebody hurt

Intentionally, I mean, I guess we just did lighter on fire an episode before What was the motivation that ended that episode where we put Dennis into a situation where he was assaulted Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh in the first episode first one very first one That's the very first but that's not how that was supposed to happen That that went down the wrong way. Oh Went down the wrong way He was supposed to just wake up in bed with a guy and the guy was supposed to uh scare Dennis into not wanting to be a gay bar anymore Yeah, it was supposed to be a couple guys from D's acting class, but uh, she she couldn't get those guys

So whoever those guys were just random dudes that I picked up when I was drunk as shit Like I guess basically what we're saying. So technically I don't think it really was you know your fault but uh Yeah, no, I I I think it I I think it I think it's fine. Uh, it's it's fun to see D Um, you know do something so manipulative and uh, you know use my use my uh, narcissism against me Um, I'm always a fan of that. It's fine. I Your voice as Wendell, uh

Your your fat suit voice remember throwing throwing us off the first time because you didn't really tell us what you were gonna do Yeah, I thought it'd be more fun to just kind of come in and do it once I was in the fat suit in full hair and makeup and just start doing it but uh By the way, I didn't even know what the voice was going to be either until I got into the full Thing and saw it once I saw it. I was like, oh, okay Uh, you know, it's got to just be it really what it was was just like a really really bad alpachino impersonation Like that's all it really is. It's just a A really bad alp and I knew it was bad enough to where it was like people wouldn't know that I was doing an alpachino

uh Like impersonation because I can't do one well. And so I was like, oh, that's good for the character then And I remember and there's a great there's a great blooper of it though of uh, you know I don't know like I'm saying the lines or something and then what you step in Charlie who steps in you somebody steps in and starts doing Yeah, yeah Well, we all we all gave it a shot because you

We did a very High-end special effect for us at the time where we were doing a split screen because you were obviously playing both characters So we needed somebody to come in and read the other side of those lines. No, we didn't do a split screen version of it We didn't do whatever it was. We did we did an over the we did some kind of it was it was a practical Yeah, the trick is you just put someone in like Glenn's jacket Who looks like him and shoot over his shoulder towards Glenn in the fat suit Then you turn back around and you shoot over a stand in who looks like Glenn the fat suit back to Glenn I mean, it's pretty like basic

Oh, it's like you they did it in the 20s or the 30s. I mean it's the Oh, so I came in and for whatever reason I instead of reading the lines just I tried to do the voice that you did Oh, yeah, that's right. That's a blooper Oh, yeah It's like this having a swollen tongue Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Well, it's like it's like could you pick like a picture? They're just being you know Things pressing up against the vocal cords

You know, maybe if you've if you've gained a little too much weight Uh, maybe there's something kind of you know constricting things, you know, uh, so that was the that was the thought there, but um Uh, yeah, I think and I think the idea of eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I answered the door was the last minute addition I don't think that was in the script. I just thought like It'd be funny if he's like eating a you know sloppy peanut butter and jelly sandwich when he answers the door It's a nice little addition. I think it's got adds a nice little touch to it Uh, but yeah, that was that was super fun. That little kid is

That kid is very funny timmy Yeah, it's very disturbing. That's that's very disturbing. I mean, it's all it's all just innuendo and fun until the very Until the final line And I I'm sure we sat there And didn't really labor over whether or not we should do it It was just whatever whatever that final exclamation point at the end of it was was probably bandied about And then Glenn you you you say, you know, like, okay, I get it. I'll take off and you throw the kid a little wink You say you say he's there he's not reformed in any way he you you're out there taking the heat

Well, I'm in here watching the disney channel. Yeah, that's what yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why the hell would I move? So so horrible. Do you guys um, are there what are their celebrities? Or or people that you've seen that are just absolutely like uncanny doppelgangers for you Oh, I can tell you the ones I get all the time. Yeah Yeah, well, Haley Joe was that used to be a thing. Oh, it's less so. Yep. These days. Yeah Haley and I look a lot alike. Um, Rob, you got that one on the plane that one time What was the one on the plane? Oh The guy from oh, yeah

A woman comes up to me and she says, oh, I'm such a big fan of yours and I said, oh, thank you so much and She said, oh, do you think we could get a photo? I say sure we take a photo and she goes I love burn notice and I was like, oh, I've never seen. Oh, I've never seen that show And then I'm thinking you look like that guy watching burn. Yeah. So she's like a burn notice is like my favorite show Is it coming back and I was like, oh, I don't know I don't know. I haven't seen it. Yeah Oh, he's very good-looking guy and he's he's also a fantastic actor. He's great. Love. Yeah, he's great in fargo Glenn, do you get do you get people?

I don't um not Really somebody uh Oh, yeah, you know who I get these days is people compare me to Jonathan Groff Um, I see that a little bit a little bit. Yeah Yeah, I get Pete wence quite a bit and I know that Pete wence gets me He's told me that a lot of people will will say the same thing and I there was also a band that I've I'd never heard

Uh, any of their music, but I gotta um, I think you guys were always sort of around When the show first premiered and we would go to events and there would be people taking photographs of us And no one had ever seen or heard of our show But people thought that I was the lead singer of the band huba stank and you guys were all in the band What a name. So I would get a lot of hubas huba stank comment. Yeah huba stank guy I by the way, there's you know for those for those and I'm sure there's like most vast majority of the people that are listening or watching this Uh, have never actually experienced being on a red carpet. Okay. They're let me tell you something There was nothing more humiliating

Then stepping onto a world a red carpet for some sort of an event Sometimes it's sometimes it would be the event that was like celebrating the thing that I'm in And walking the red carpet having all these people take photos of you and after they take the photo they yell at you Who are you? What's your name? You tell them? No And you're like, oh my god, that is so embarrassing. They're like, how do you spell it? They want to know how to spell you like I'm like, that doesn't still happen to you, right? No, no, no, but that was that was something that happened a lot like in the early seasons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for sure people were like

Okay, he's on the red carpet. I know I have to take photos of him and then afterwards like it can tell us your name Who the hell are you? How am I gonna sell these pictures? I guess Charles I get like people like regular people like people like hey, this is my buddy I just met in a bar and he's short and has a beard and scruffy hair and it never looks like you I get a lot. I've seen a lot of that on social media where people are like, I look at my my buddy He's like looks exactly like Charlie and I'm like, no, he doesn't no No, I don't see a lot of it. Uh, the basketball player one something that I saw I That was pretty fun. It was a guy on the

Mavericks, I think And who's gotta be like seven feet tall. So, uh, but there was like someone had cobbled together like a series of pictures of him And then me and I was like, okay, I see that. That's pretty funny. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I've never seen that That was that was a pretty good one. Yeah, Meg. What about you? Is any is there anyone who people are like? Oh, you look like so-and-so I get um Selma Blair Um, yes, but maybe not after an 11 hour flight. Um

Um, and uh, actually the most accurate one I've ever gotten is that there's this movie called. Um, welcome to the doll house Which is like a dark comedy about this young girl who's like everybody hates basically And she looks really nerdy and she looks Exactly like I looked when I was younger like we'll put I'll put side by side pictures up in the podcast I mean to at that is what I looked like when I was a kid Yeah That movie is amazing. It's amazing. That's Todd Salons, right? Yes. Yeah, I got one that I was very excited about recently

Maybe six months ago. I was very excited. I was in pretty good shape And I had to be fair. I had a hat on and I had it down really low And I was sitting out at a at a at lunch and some guy comes up and he's like, oh Oh, fucking man. Can I take a photo with you? And I'm like, sure, sure And we we take a photo and he's like, oh man, I just I love a lot of your ship But like my favorite stuff is like back of the day. I'm like, okay, cool. He goes The departed man, I love the departed and I was like Okay

Wow, what's going on? He thought I was walberg And I was like, oh man, I'm not I'm not mark walberg and he's like, oh, fuck you man. Fuck you and then he ran away. Yeah, you are walberg. Yeah, you are Yeah, you fucking are Yeah, you fucking are you can't I and I told that I told that story to to mark walberg and I looked at me like actually What? Yeah, right

You wish buddy You wish pal. You fucking wish Yeah, that's not even possible. We're barely in the same side. How you got You gotta put them on muscle. You don't even look like He's always just he's always just worked out. Yeah, he's always just worked out You know, we we both got on a flap in the hat. That's it. What do they even see? That's my do you think I do you think that he's like drops down and does like fucking 25 push-ups before every take of something

You know what I mean? So he is how he's like legitimately out of breath adds like intensity to the scene But also like he gets a pump. You know what I mean? Whatever he's doing, it's working because I'll watch that guy in anything. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely Well, uh rob You've got a sibling Who is now a writer on it's always sunny in philadelphia and a very good one. I have to say it was it's been very Uh refreshing and fun having her in the writer's room because she's really brilliant Uh, but she's in this episode and she's your sister. She is. Yes. She is. She's also a

Great writer on mr. Quest as well. The other one though. Uh, yes, mr. Quest. Uh, mr. Quest the famous apple show Um, kate mack is she calls you an asshole or creep or something like that. Yeah, she says she's the one who uh says Uh pervert dickhead. I think right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait in addition to katie, you have another sibling pat Does pat do people stop pat and and think that it's you? Because pat you pat look a lot alike except that pat keeps his hair kind of blonde mostly, but yes We have we have different coloring blonde blonde hair. He's blonde hair blue eyes And i'm brown hair brown eyes and yet we do look so much alike That he gets mistaken for me all the time

Yeah, and he uses it Because he he'll use it to like say if someone's like, oh, do you want to come to the front of the line of somewhere? Somewhere where we all almost always will say no because we don't want to be assholes that cut in front of lines He'll just go. Yeah, because us I say yes to that every time. Are you fucking kidding me? Somebody ask me if I want to go to the front of the line because i'm who I am. I'm like, yes yeah Absolutely. Well, it's not going to work anymore at french restaurants They're not gonna let that in

Yeah, it'll work they they they don't watch this well It won't work because they don't watch the show and they certainly don't listen to this podcast french fucks. No, they don't Gregory scott Cummins is back for this playing max dad One of my favorite all-time favorite guest stars. He's such a marvelous marvelously funny guy Uh, and I just love him so much, but he refers to um The the sexual offender um as uh as wendell short eyes now Rob, would you like to explain to everyone what what the term short eyes means for those of you who?

Uh, haven't spent much time in prison. Yes, uh, we learned sometime around that year that short eyes was the term that inmates would refer to pedophiles As or pedophiles here in the united states We they would refer to them as short eyes and then of course they became victims because there is some kind of um honor amongst amongst thieves in prison where uh, if you are a convicted child Uh, abuser they will take care of you

uh prison style That's right. Why did they get the short eyes from though? You got eyes for the short people. I don't know Uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm not exactly sure what the origins of that are actually Oh, well done well done god damn you That's pretty that's uh, oh boy Well, I could go on and on about uh, Gregory Scott Cummins because I love him, but we could also we should also you know give props to uh to uh max mom and uh, charlie's mom

um Lynn Marie is so funny in this episode the way she The way she plays it when uh, danie comes in and like every time he shuts her up and she just immediately just stops talking she's just Oh, gosh. She's so funny. Hey guys, uh short eyes is old school prison slang for a child molester that entered the public lexicon in the late 1970s when Miguel Pinheiro adapted his play short eyes into a movie with the same title The movie is about a pedophile who gets tortured and ultimately killed by his fellow inmates after they find out what he's in jail for So it's based so it's based on a term that was used in the play

More based on the name of the play Yes, the the the name of the play a lot of big theater fans in prison a lot of big theater fans in prison A lot you know they're just I see that play you see that boy. Have you ever read? Have you ever actually read mollier? Yeah, but have you read it? No, but like yeah read it read it bro. I got a mollier tattoo right here. I love the friend Great playwrights Tartuffe have you read tartuffe? It's un-fuckin unbelievable. It's unbelievable. You want to laugh You want to laugh? You want to laugh? Yeah, you want to laugh? Read some mollier. Read some mollier. All right. Trust me

Okay guys, um, this has been a lot of fun. I truly truly enjoyed this um Megan have you seen Glenn's head? Have you seen Glenn's head for all the creeps out there because we could do a reveal for Megan. Oh, I haven't seen it Okay, well, it's it's Yeah, so the character I'm playing in this movie is bald on top um But it you'll see you'll see the fuzz because I haven't we did we've only done a hair and makeup test and that was on

Friday so What I have to go through that because it doesn't you know people are like, I don't know I can see hair So good Yeah, it's so It's kind of Steve Jobby alarming Yeah

Yeah, I mean, I'll obviously I'll shave it down to the skin I think I think the plan is to shave it down to the skin like up to like here and have like a little bit You know just have it kind of a little a little fuzz like maybe on top like right here um As is often the case um to try and make it look as real as possible. But yeah Yeah, the character I'm playing is actually quite tan Okay, it's it's just better from the side. You know what I mean? He's a real actor. That's real actor stuff It's some real actor-y shit. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Um

That's it. We've done it. Bye. I did it