The Always Sunny Podcast - Mac and Charlie Die: The LIVE Shows

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

We love the shit out of you guys.

Nine a.m. on a Tuesday, 18 days before live shows, Los Angeles, California. He spits onto her car, spits onto the car. But again, maybe he has cancer. And he was on his way to get his chemotherapy and he had mucus in his lungs. Who knows? And he needed to work that out. These are all the things that Rob Justice is weighing up in his head. Okay, we're done. Great episode, guys. I'm gonna get through this quickly. This is a lot of information.

I'm gonna throw you guys about the live shows. And the biggest part about it is that I'd like to go through the run of shows. I've got a bunch of bits I'm gonna pitch to you guys, basically, that we could do. If you like things, great. You can thumbs up them. We'll get them, like, happening, you know, because some of it needs props and shit like that. A little bit of preparing. Okay, Friday, September 16th, we leave. Los Angeles, I made this very visual for you guys to keep your attention.

We leave Los Angeles at 12 p.m. I'm gonna actually maintain this. I mean, like, change it. Go over here. So, yeah, we're gonna leave on Friday. That's gonna be us in that plane right there. It's Saturday night and Louisville Sunday night in Philly, Monday night in Philly. So, these are the bits. All right.

What I've done is, like, made the shows sort of similar with slight variations from night to night. I thought it would be funny if we put photos of dogs pooping inside the bathroom stalls, just as a joke for people. Oh, yeah, that's fucking great. I know that. So, for sure, dude. A little bit of both. Inspiration.

All right, guys, see you guys next time. All right, thanks, everybody. It was fun. We'll see you in two days. They're finally gone. Now, to just do all their dishes. Make sure you get this on camera, me doing all their dishes, me collecting all their coffee cups and water glasses and washing them with my bare hands.

This is part of it. I'm going to make another document to send to them of all those bits and stuff, because I'm sure they heard 25% of what I was saying. So, I just want to make sure they're like... Yeah, more difficult. I had them with the beginning, with the shots of the airplane, and then once it became, like, white text over black, they were like, this is homework.

The table went over great. That's good. Table went over great. We had some wins. What's the takeaway? I think it went over okay. I probably should have started the whole thing by saying that we're like two weeks out, and we should probably know what we're going to be doing on stage in front of 3,800 people.

Right now, I'm going to take a nap. That's what I'm going to do. Well, it's time to hit the road. You're trying not to ask me about the low farting noises that you hear, and that's my dog. Oh, isn't it picky? Everybody loves you, that's why. No, I feel good.

I'm like, it's in that nice place now where it's like, if there's something that I haven't done, it's too late. So you're just like, alright, let's get on the plane, see what happens. Should we start with a shot? This whole thing kind of feels like planning a child's birthday party, where you're like, I just want them to have fun with their friends. I'd like to welcome on the stage, Jimmy Simpson. It's in the coil of the flash.

Wow. This is a treat. I'm not very good at packing. Here, wait. Yeah, there, help. You can help. We're on the plane to Louisville. Are we flying out that night? Yeah.

We're flying from Louisville to Philly the night of the show. Unless you guys want to stay and watch Pearl Jam. I don't want to cry on this. I don't want to cry. So, battle play. And then every glass that we have on stage for you guys is going to be breakaway. So you can then like, shatter the glasses. And then this would just start to be like the podcast, where we'd just be talking about kind of...

Oh, okay. I can't do this with this fire alarm going off. Okay, great. It's just, this is part of the fun, right? Let's kick off. All right, here we go. We're setting this whole town ablaze. Welcome to Bourbon and Beyond.

Let's get too drunk. Yeah! Hey, how many of you guys are coming to the show later? What if you guys get tired of doing nothing except sitting around drinking? How could you ever get tired of doing this? How many people here are from Louisville? Cheers! This is our very first live show ever.

What do you want to talk about? Meg, you said you were going to keep us on track. I could give you a breathalyzer. Rob coming in with a.13. Shower me with your fucking prank. Wait, this guy wants to drink out of his shoe, and I think we should let him. That's rock and roll, baby.

How many people here have been in a bar fight? This is a sale, Rob. Fashion up! Sweaty as shit. That is male underpass. Yeah, we got it! Yes! This thing has gone completely off the rails.

What is this? Do you guys like this? Is this good? Oh, fuck. Fuck! I mean, they threw their male panties on stage. Next stop, Philly. No, no, no.

Here we go. Good evening, Philadelphia! And welcome to the Always Sunny Podcast Live! And now, please join me in welcoming your host for this evening, Rob, Charlie, and Slap! Oh, yeah! What's up, Philly? Wow!

What's up? What's up, man? What's up, Philly? All right. Hey, y'all. Boys are back! Come back, come back! That's what I'm talking about.

All right. The boys are back. Let's get a look at everybody! All right, goodbye, everybody! Good night! Guys, before we begin this podcast, I think something on everyone's mind on the stage is safety. And to feel safe, Mack, would you do the honors? Oh, yeah, actually.

I mean, there's some shifty characters out there. Yeah, I just feel like we should do a quick... Pop a quick ocular pat-down. A quick ocular pat-down on the crowd. Shut the fuck up. Everybody shut the fuck up. He's gonna get mad. Seriously, shut the fuck up. Mack, Mack, need silence. Clear me!

Clear him, please. Let him concentrate, goddammit. This takes focus. Not everyone can do this. They're clear. They're clear! All right! This crowd is clear! All right, I knew you guys were good. That's disappointing. How are you doing?

Okay, are we all safe? Are we good? I'll say, have you guys noticed that there's a lot of flies? I just saw something buzz across the stage. Did you bring the flies? Now, again, this is very specific to this part of the world. Everybody out here is gonna know what a green head is, which is essentially a horse fly that you find on the beach.

Nasty little flies. I saw a few of those. Because I remember on the podcast you said, when you went to the beach, your mom would spray you with vinegar to keep the flies away. Yeah, to enhance the tan. And to enhance your tan. Meg, did you bring vinegar to spray the fly?

Grab the vinegar. I don't want to get bit by a horse fly. No, I didn't bring any vinegar to spray you guys. What was I supposed to do? Oh, because you're kind of the mom of the podcast. That's disappointing. I didn't bring vinegar, but I did bring Rob's actual mom.

So maybe she can help us out. Are you kidding me? Please, everybody, welcome to the stage. Here she comes. Oh, my God. There she is. Wait. Mrs. Mack, did you bring...

Ah, she's got the vinegar. Okay, good. All right, let him have it. You spray the vinegar. No, not us. We're not into it. There we go. Oh, my God.

I don't want it. Thank you. Thank you. Mom. I'm on stage at the Met. How come I'm this? Are you... are you... Mom? Are you proud of me?

No. No. Nah. All right. You got my thanks. That's my mommy. That's my mommy. Show her some love, guys.

Amazing. All right, so that clears us of any dangerous characters. Okay, we're cleared of dangers. We're cleared of flies. Clear the flies. Let's start the show. Let's start the show. Start talking about the show.

Meg, are we allowed to start the show now? Can we start talking about the episodes? I'd actually like, if you guys don't mind, I know one of you usually come in hot, but I've come in hot with something today. Oh, really? You guys want to... Yeah, what are you coming in hot with?

I'm coming in hot. Meg's coming in hot. All right, here we go. Well, it's just such a special show, this your first time back in Philly, in such a long time. So, I just want to do something really special for you guys.

So, I got a couple celebrities to give you a bit of a video shout out for your special Philly show. I love celebrities. Yeah. I love celebrities. Everybody loves celebrities. Smart they are,

and how they tell everybody how to live. That's the best. That's the best. Well, the first one, I think some of these folks might know because it's a Philly sports legend. I have a little video message from you from Mr. Donovan McNabb.

McNabb. Let's roll the tape. That's amazing. Hey, guys. Donovan. Donovan McNabb here. I played quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles for the Super Bowl.

And I'm here to tell you that you can too. That's right. If you start every day with a healthy and hearty meal from McDonald's, like the new sausage egg and cheese McRiddles, just download the mobile app and order yours today.

Yeah, remember, guys, real champs eat at McDonald's. I'm loving it. Okay, guys, thank you. Cash app or Venmo. Wow. You got Donovan McNabb. By the way, he looks great.

Donovan has kept up with his workout regimen. He looks great. He looks good. He looks good. See that giant ab? I saw that big ab. Amazing. That was a good poll.

Wow. Great work, McNabb. Well done. Amazing. Just wanted to do something special for you guys. But now you can start the episode discussions. Okay, let's talk about the show. Are there some...

I have to assume some of the people in here have seen the podcast. Have you seen the podcast before? Okay. Okay, how many creeps do we have in the house? And how many of those creeps, how many of you have jobs? Give it up for jobs.

Give it up for jobs. And how many listeners do we have? How many listeners do we have? Guys, there's sometimes... Way more creeps. Well, it's more fun to watch, I think. Little known fact. Let's see if the audience picked up on this.

The man that answers the door at the orgy. Is also the pawn shop owner. It's also the pawn shop owner. So... It's an Easter egg. In the business, we call it an Easter egg. But I also feel like pawn shop owners are probably... Yeah.

Orgy people. Orgy people. Except, I think... They go hand in hand. How many pawn shop owners do we have in the audience? Very few. How many orgy people do we have in the audience tonight? Good for you.

Yeah, same actor. And as I recall, that was not the plan when we originally started casting those roles. But for some reason, and I don't remember exactly who it was that suggested that it be the same... No, as I recall, we were having trouble getting somebody to play the...

That was good enough to play the guy that just says, like, what's the password? Well, we were also at a time when we were still... And to this day, not that anybody wants to hear us complain. They do. They do, yeah. We don't get a lot of money to make the show,

and so we're always looking for savings. Maybe it was that we had the guy on the day and we were like, hey, man, save these other ones. Oh, come on, man. Don't make it sound like that. Jesus Christ. No, we thought it would be funny

that the pawn shop guy was at the orgy. It hit us, we were like... Yeah, I think that's exactly what happened. I think that might have been what happened. No, I think that's what happened. We actually got invited to the orgy after we saw his stuff and what he was doing. No, that is what happened.

That is what happened. That is what happened. You guys, that is what happened. Yeah, and a man who has, you know, poppers or amyl nitrite on hand is probably a man who's into orgy, so it made sense to us at the time, and... Have any of you guys ever done poppers?

Yes. You have? Yeah. Yeah. Are you guys familiar with amyl nitrite, with poppers? Have you guys... You scumbags.

You fucking scumbags. That's great. It's awesome. Why are you calling them scumbags? We're sex positive on this show. Oh. We have no judgments. Yeah, no judgments here, guys.

It's positive. Sounds like you caught something. Yeah. You know? Like, I know it's supposed to mean well, but it makes me worried. Everybody out there is positive. All right, great.

There was a point in time where people were doing poppers in the writer's room. No, what? No, they were smelling salt. No, no, no, smelling salt. They were smelling salt. Smelling salt. Smelling salt.

That's when I started. So my first year, I came in. You started that? No, no, I didn't start it. No, no, no, no, no. No, my first year when I joined the writing staff in season 12, I came in and on the writer's room table, I was like, what is this?

And Scott Martin is like, oh, those are just smelling salts. And I was like, why are people passing out? And he's like, no, sometimes we just do them. So, wait. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. So people are always asking us, oh, man, you guys get drunk,

you get super high, and that's how you write the episodes. And I'm like, no, that doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm like, who would do something that crazy? And then, yeah, you're right. We'd get up the night before, and then we'd come and hungover, and then we'd write the episode.

Right, right. Speaking of hangovers, where's our whiskey? We were told that we were going to have ladies there. If anyone can hear this, bring me whiskey. What else about the episode, other than the poppers and the orgies? Well, there's a very short clip of a Bon Jovi song, blaze of glory.

Any time you get a needle drop song. A needle drop. Tell them what that is. Well, that would be a song that you recognize, something that's played on the radio, something by a mainstream artist. It's very expensive to put in the show. And so, we're always talking about whether or not

it's worth it. And this would be an example of where it's definitely not worth it, because it's only on screen for, and it doesn't matter, you could play the entire song from start to finish, a blaze of glory, and it would cost exactly the same

as playing four seconds of it. So, what happens almost always is that Charlie and I are like, fuck it, pay for it. And Glenn's like, nah, no way. This is so, so stupid. You're fucking throwing me into the bottle. You're sensible, you're proven.

The guys need glasses, because they would never drink directly out of the bottle. We might. I'm just going to put that there. We might. Well, we're sex positive. We'll get you some glasses. We are sex positive,

but we're also civilized or not. Oh, fuck it. All right. Old school. There you go. Drink it before Rob, because Rob has diarrhea. Yeah.

That's how you do it, baby. I don't want to catch his sex positive diarrhea. There we go. That's pretty good. Meg, did you have some? Meg. There we go. There we go.

There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go.

There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. Yeah, we can keep that on the table. I'll keep nipping from that, I think. Yeah.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg.

Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. Meg. out of his head, out of his head.

And Glenn said, this is so fucking stupid. Yeah, he's right. He's right. It is so stupid. Uh-oh, wait. That just kind of came out on its own. Yeah, that slipped right out. I barely pulled that.

I barely pulled it. What? And it was around this time, maybe it was this season, it was the previous season, where we were talking about, are these people real people, or are they straight up cartoon characters? Right. It was unrealistic.

To have a man like constantly pulling teeth out of his mouth, and then to smile and have teeth. It legitimately doesn't make any sense to have done that. Truly. But that scene is amazing. It's amazing. That scene is so funny. By the way, I fully admit that,

and I also fully admitted when we were doing it, I was like, I'm laughing and it's funny, but this doesn't make any sense. There's no way that we live in it. And you also look for a character who eats the weirdest shit, like a lot of the stuff you eat's gotta be kind of, I'll let you eat cat food, it's pretty soft.

It's gonna make your teeth come out. Well, this is also somebody who went to Juilliard and is trying to find truth. And I'm, he said it, I didn't. He said it, I didn't. And I'm like, man, I just don't want to go back to, you know, like, I want this job, man. You're desperate.

I'm desperate. I would ever make some laugh. Let's just fucking do it. This guy just seems very funny. Just pandering. Trust him. If he thinks it's funny, it's probably funny. So now you're throwing him onto the bus

and saying it was his idea. No, what? That's not throwing him onto the bus. That's glorifying him up to the mountaintops. Okay. I can't remember any of it. I don't know, it could have been my idea or not. No idea.

That tracks. What I love about it is that you do two scenes where Charlie is pouring lighter fluid over himself and yanking his own teeth out of his mouth. And then when you go to the pawn shop, all of a sudden he's the voice of reason. Yes, right. Well, Mack has hit himself on the head

and somebody has to find something to blow a car up with. It's so rare and so much fun because everybody's got to be at the straight person at some point in the show. But Charlie is almost never the straight person. Sometimes with you, with Mack, rarely with Dennis, sometimes with D, often with Frank. Frank, yes.

What do you mean? Oh, like Frank's doing something crazy and I have to be like... Where you have to be the straight man. Got it, got it, got it. Your line reading of what we have here, gentlemen, is a glory hole. I didn't do it right.

But the way that you said that was so funny. What the hell are you guys doing here? I gotta go to the bathroom. There's a hole in the wall. We're just trying to figure out what it is. Well, well, well, D'Andrea, would you look at that? Frank, D, what you two have discovered today is what is most commonly referred to as a glory hole.

A glory hole? A secret portal created as a passageway for one to safely insert one's penis. I'm sorry, a hole to stick your dick in? Yes, the partition acts as a physical barrier, thus ensuring anonymity throughout the spontaneous act of copulation, or fellatio, or at the very least, a hand jump.

I think we were fine. Yeah, there was something happened in that episode. I feel like we were finding some new gears for the character of Dennis in that episode, for sure. Because all of a sudden, like, you know, this is like a normal dude who's like, what are you guys doing? I came in here to pee. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I turned into a different

person. I was so fascinated by the glory hole, not only the history of the glory hole, not only what it meant to people past, but what it means now, and what we're capable of now as a bar, as a result of having it. There's a lot of awe and respect in your voice. Tremendous respect. When you're speaking about it.

Yeah, I think you're right. No, there's tremendous respect there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys come across a glory hole? Like, in just a public bathroom? Have you ever just? Yes. You have?

Oh, you have? Wait. Who said that? It's bad. What do you mean it's bad? She said it's bad. Why is it bad? Did you experience it?

It's in the wrong bathroom. Whose bathroom was it in? Oh, and the women's bathroom. What are you putting through there? Your boob? Like, just one nipple? There's no glory in that? There's no glory in that at all, yeah.

Very frustrating experience. I think a lot of the process of writing the show is us coming into the writer's room, having just seen something, watched something, heard about something. We come in and we go, guys, I just heard about this thing. It's crazy. It's called a glory hole.

Do you know what this is? And like, three people would be like, yeah, I know what it is. Tell us about it. Tell us everything you can. And how can we exploit your knowledge of this strange sexual deviation? So wait, OK, so there was one in the women's bathroom and an experience that you had.

Has anyone else had an experience with a glory hole? I don't know. I think oftentimes they try to fix them real quick. You know, the establishment is like, ah, jeez, we've got to go, you know, they put, like, some stuff. How did somebody fix it up with toilet paper in their eyes? Did somebody fucking sneak a drill in there? Somebody gets a drill?

You know what I mean? Somebody gets a drill in there, yeah. Got any handyman out there that are just like, yeah. I got a bit for that. I got a bit that goes on the head of my drill. It gets perfect fucking. They do with their penis. They just push the penis against the wall

until a hole pops out. It's like the Grand Canyon, like a slow, steady erosion, right? It's like over. So if you go to a bar every single night, you have to go to the bar every single night and push your dick up against the stall wall. Just every fucking night for, like, 30 years

and eventually, like a prisoner. And when you break through, you feel glorious. You feel glorious. And that's why it's called a glory hole. That's why it's called a glory hole. There is tremendous glory in that. I'm so happy that my mommy is here tonight. You guys want to see maybe another celebrity video

that we lined up for you. Oh, what do you mean? Celebrity call out video, yeah. I do. It's another sports figure. Did I hear Mr. Tiger Woods? That's for all the tape. Kind of a big deal, Tiger Woods is.

Hey, guys, I'm, well, I'm pretty famous. I don't really need to tell you who I am. I'll tell you. I'm Tiger Woods, basically the best call for that I've ever lived. And I'm here to tell you that you can be too. Can be too. They can be the best call for that I've ever lived.

That doesn't really make, keep going. OK. If you refuel every day with a hearty lunch from McDonald's, like the crispy chicken sandwich meal with medium fries and a drink, just order it for delivery or pickup. Remember, guys, real champions in McDonald's. OK.

Hey, just do it. Wow. Greatest goal for a whole time. Arguably. I'm loving it. He's loving it. He's loving it. Tiger Woods is a fan of the show.

Hey, can I, can I, can I, can I, you know what's fucking sad? That was basically like two McDonald's ads, and we didn't get fucking paid at all. No money for that. I just want to make that clear. McDonald's didn't pay us fucking shit. Boom.

Boom. How much money did you get for the original one that was in the game? Nothing. It's invincible. No. No, I actually think it was the opposite. We have a, we got a cease and desist.

We had a, yes. We definitely got one from Wendy's. I remember people were like, why are there all these Wendy's because we're saying Frank and Artemis were always fucking in Wendy's back. We're like a Wendy's. And Wendy's was like, could you stop with the, we don't allow that at Wendy's.

And we're like, Wendy's, no. It is really funny how often fans will think that we're getting some kind of money from a brand. And literally brands are running as far away from us as they possibly can. So it's us writing in brands because we think it's funny and we're getting away with it. And then people are like, ah, well, you're getting paid.

We're like, no, we're getting paid. And literally they, they're trying to sue us. Yeah. Major League Baseball tried to sue us. Major League Baseball did. For the Philly Phonetic. Yeah. They didn't like that.

I'm trying to have a conversation with the man behind the mask. I feel like you're big like me, dude. Are you taking me seriously? I want to say to all the green men out there, because I've done that before, I appreciate the sacrifice you're making. It's a long day.

You can barely see. You got to get completely undressed to take a leak. And so good on you. Wait, he's got to drink. How are you drinking that? Oh, you can drink right through the mask. You can drink through it?

Yeah. You can drink through the mask. Hey, green man! Hey, man. Green man is saving my life right now, man. Is the real green man in, in the building? No? Green man.

Well, green man is strong. So green man is a real human being who I grew up with. I went to high school with Joe Dwyer. Is Joe here? Well, that's what I was wondering. Is Joe Dwyer here? Do you know the reason why Joe Dwyer is not here?

No, I don't. So OK, so I grew up with Joe Dwyer. And one time I went, this was maybe season two of Sunday, I went to an Eagles game. And he put on his green man suit and started running around the parking lot. And I thought, man, that's amazing. We have to put that in the show.

Yeah. So the reason that I have to assume that Joe Dwyer is not in the audience right now is because Joe Dwyer is an orthopedic surgeon. Oh, he's done well. He's moved on. He most likely has. No, no, he has not moved on.

No? No, no. What do you mean? Well, my guess is tomorrow he's got orthopedic surgery. But tomorrow night, he will be at the Eagles game. Getting after it. As green man. Getting after it.

Getting after it. So Joe Dwyer, the original green man. OK, well, actually, I've just been informed that our guest is here. So who is it? You guys want to bring on a very special guest? I'd like to welcome to the stage Jimmy Simpson. That's what you get, Charlie.

You get podcasted. Oh, man. Liam McBoyle in the flash. This is a treat. Wow. Fuck, man. This is a treat. Wait, do we have a seat for this man?

Yes, we have a seat now. You can sit. Oh, my god. I'll take this. You guys, this is, by the way, you smell amazing. Ruining the meta game. Shit. It looks great in here.

Sorry, can I point out something, Glenn? Can you stand to the front here? What is it about middle-aged men who like to boot it? Yeah? Who have dressed themselves? What? Who wore it better? Who wore it better?

All right, yeah. We like to pretend we're craftsmen and doing working here. Yeah, we've got steel-toed boots or craft now. Also, these are, it's bullshit. We focus on the craft of joy, the craft of laughter. Jimmy fucking holy shit. Now, you guys are looking so fly together.

This makes me so happy. And first of all, this is a total surprise. This is actual surprise. I hate you hiked all the way from California, hoping. Why are you here? I mean, why are you in town? Yeah, what are you doing? This man has no death perception.

Wait, wait, you said, yeah. We do have some actual, come closer. Come closer. Get the guy with the eyepatch on stage. So loose and good. Get him on. Like a soft-boiled eye. Let the crowd see this man, Jimmy.

Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.

Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy. Jimmy.

Jimmy. You can call us Ryan and Liam McBoy. I will then. Ryan and Liam. A thousand generations old at this moment. Should we have a milk bump? Oh please. Please.

Bump it. Bump it. That's right. Right. Bump it. That's so fresh. It's so fleshy, too. The outside of it.

It's all hurting. Thank you. Thank you. Wait. What eyepatch. Yeah, well done. What is in your milk cups? I gotta tell you, I painted the inside white

and then filled it with spackle, just for you guys. There you go, that's so, so it would last all night. Crafty, this is a woman's pasty, believe it or not. It's got a woman's pasty on its eye, well done. I gotta tell you, Jimmy, this was my homage to you. I was born in Bloomsburg, PA, you're alma mater. Wait, they're from the same, look at them, what? That was the worst ever, but I'm so grateful

to be reunited with the BU-ian. It's the other BU, you guys. It's the right BU, that's right. You used to deliver pizzas to my family in Bloomsburg when I was a little kid. A lot of pizzas. Are you serious? A little boy.

Really? I have a personal connection to the body. How do you know this? Did you receive my business? My brother, Doug, so I'm the youngest of five boys. My second born brother, Doug, shout out to Doug, shout out to Neil, shout out to Bill. Yeah, Doug.

He knew you and he said, if you get the chance, tell the guys, Jimmy Simpson, that he used to deliver pizzas to me when I was in college. In Bloomsburg. And I said, I get to tell you now? I delivered. It's crazy. So many pizzas in college.

I was really high most of the time, so I don't remember. Good, I'm sure he was high eating them. Oh, good. So good. Now I'd ask you guys to leave, but I'm just too damn happy. See if it's on the dance floor. Yeah, Jimmy, I have a question for Jimmy.

Yeah, this is... Yeah, the question for Jimmy. No way. We're doing a live show, but we are doing the podcast. And we've been wanting to have Jimmy on the podcast. Oh, yeah. And this is the best way to get you on. I forgot this is being recorded, you guys.

Jimmy Simpson. Tell us. You and I were roommates in our, in right after college. Babes. We were roommates, double fold. We lived together in New York City. We did do that. We made lots of funny ass home videos.

We did. Endless videos. We couldn't get arrested on film, so we made our own films. We could've get a job. So we make our own films. And then... Films, if you call it.

That was what would inspire. Robin Glenn had an idea to do that and turn it into a TV show. They saw it and they were like, we want to do this, but make it good. We want to exploit it. Yeah. We want to exploit it.

We want to exploit your talent. Exploit your talent and turn it into something commercial. And that's what happened. It is. It is what happened. Very tri-state based. And when you're from the tri-state, as you know, going to LA is kind of a bullshit move.

And so I did because I couldn't... I think my agent fell apart or something in New York. Went there and I called you and I said, I mean, we don't have to do the douchey shit. We could still come out here. And then we were right. We did. You went first.

And I followed. I followed. I followed. And then, season one? Either we spoiled season one, right? Yeah. So season one, we had these a couple of characters and I said, look, you know, we have these funny guys.

Well, yeah, I think it was more of like, we wrote an off-putting character and you're generally off-putting. So would you just come stand there? Well, no, that was your sense of humor. It was like, to be off-putting. Sure. It was like, you enjoy that.

I mean, I was paired up with Charlie and one of the things we just got along so well was like, well, you're the funny guy and I'm the weird guy. And so we just never were, we're both funny and weird, but we were just, it was nice. It was nice. I had like a partner.

Most of our home videos involved drawing on some kind of fake mustache or beard or... There was always a wig and some teeth. Of wigs and teeth. A lot of teeth. We would maybe wash them off between fucking uses. Yeah, we'd probably rinse them. And then markers.

We had a box of Crayola markers. Yeah, magic markers to put on. That we would draw eyebrows and mustaches. And so your Unibrow, season one, is based on the sort of magic markers. Great magic markers. I'm like, this will be funny. I remember...

I'm gonna take you back to a time period in 2005. You guys. Where I strike gold because I'm not that talented, but I'm very driven. And I meet, I meet a guy from Juilliard who's immensely talented. That's me. I meet literally the funniest two people

on the face of the earth who happen to live with one another. And they're already making these funny videos. And they're showing... I'm watching these videos where they're drawing mustaches on each other. And they're so funny, we're laughing, we're crying. And I say to them, why aren't you guys...

They're literally living in an apartment, drinking you who for lunch. And I say, you drink a lot of you who did you, Jim. Delicious snack. And I look at Ronny Glenn, who's the most talented person I've ever met. Thank you. Charlie, who's the funniest guy I've ever met.

And Jimmy, who's the weirdest... Thank you. ...the funniest guy I've ever met. And I settle it. Huge compliment. I think we can make $1,000. Yes. If we just shoot this and actually make it

a television show. And I have been riding their coattails ever since. And I love them so much. But the truth of it is, without you, at this moment right now, Jimmy and I's face would be covered in magic marker. Like making TikTok videos for nobody. So thank you, man. So thank you.

We established on the podcast that you guys were living together when you met Mary Elizabeth. And you told us a great story about how... Meat penis. A meat dick in the fridge. Yeah, in the fridge. Yeah, tell that story. The next morning.

Well, Jimmy and I, we were like, you don't be funny to make a video about a guy who pulls his dick out of his pants and smashes it with a hammer. Sure, as one does. And will make it out of hamburger meat. As one does. Yeah, we're like, this is our experimental face.

We were exercising demons and very much experimental. We were like, what about postmodern Germans? We did fill up with ketchup so that there would be blood. We absolutely did. There will be blood. I'm not going to have a cock smashed without there being blood. Sure, but a waste of an opportunity.

And we thought we would have many takes, but we nailed it on take one. So there were a couple. There was one backup penis in the fridge. And you guys are going to eat it, though. You're going to eat it? No, we weren't going to eat it, but we weren't. Yeah, we were maybe going to make a sequel.

And then the night I met my wife, Mary Elizabeth Dall, who plays the waitress. She spent the night. And the next morning, I left for work. She stayed. What do you mean, work? I was the voice of the independent film channel. So I had to go say, coming up next on IFC.

Casa De Los Babies. Yeah. I think we paid for our sonny cameras, man. True. But anyway, she woke up hungover, of course. Thirsty, hungry, looked in the fridge, and there was no nothing in the fridge. Looked in the freezer, and there was nothing but a meat penis.

That's just a meat penis. It's not exactly true. I'm actually married, man. It was paired with one thing. You who's? So close. I do have the taste of a six-year-old child. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Cream soda? Gurgurt? It would have been in there if I had it. Like a strawberry cream soda? No, OK. Tricks flavored gogurt sports. Oh, my god, Jim. So you could squeeze the dairy product

in the back of your mouth with velocity. So she had a chip. She had a chip. And she accepted you and us as, OK, I guess. She was all right with this. She was fine with it. The situation. She was fine based on what she'd experienced with the men.

Oh, so you used. I presume. Yeah. All right, what'd you do to seal the deal, buddy? Tell us your secret. Oh, I hung on for dear life and begged her not to ever leave me. Just claws. Just clawed her.

That works. Yeah. As a woman, that works. Yeah. I also feel like I would be remiss if I didn't prevail upon Jimmy to give us a good you will call her, which I feel like the audience would really love. Putting you on the spot, buddy.

The question is, can we keep a straight face if he doesn't? So how, like, can I? There's no way I can't laugh. No, no, no, you can do it. I can do it. You can do it. You got it. Keep it straight.

OK. You got it. I'm the worst. OK, here we go. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Wait, wait, wait. Here we go. She's waiting on your call.

I'm not going to call her. You call her! Yes! Yes! Yes! That's a whole lot. There's more muscle memory at this point. Well, I mean, I do have one more celebrity video for you guys

if you want to see it. That's cool. Who's that? I wonder if the audience can guess who our third celebrity video is. Don Cheadle? Am I hearing Don Cheadle from the audience? No way.

Am I hearing Don Cheadle? No way you got Don Cheadle. No fucking way. You know what? Just because I love you guys so much, I did line up. What'd you get? Don Cheadle. Get the fuck out of here.

No, you did not. No, you did not. Oh my god. Hey, guys, what's up? I'm Don Cheadle, the real Don Cheadle. I'm an actor. I'm a filmmaker, and I think I won a couple of Golden Globes. Yeah, I did.

And I'm here to tell you that you can, too. That's right. If you start every day with intermittent fasting, because reducing your eating time to just eight hours per day can help regulate blood sugar levels and reduce inflammation in otherwise healthy adults. So remember, real champions, intermittent fast. Have a great show, guys.

I mean, I nailed it. So I know I said cash app or Venmo, but I'm really going to need to get paid in a Bitcoin, because I got to do some stuff off the radar with someone's scrupulous guy. You don't need to know the details, but I do need that bit. And I'm going to need it ASAP, which means as soon

as possible, which means I already should have got it. Who the fuck is that? Who was that? I think you got Duped, Meg. I don't know who the fuck that was. Sorry, guys. That is the guy that plays Don Cheadle, though. Yeah, that's true.

That's the guy that plays Don Cheadle. I wanted to end on a high note, and that was kind of a bummer. I know that. You know what I would like to, you know what I would like? You know what I think would be really fun? Would you do a song? Song or no song? Song or no song?

Song? Do you want a song? So song? A song, then? A song, then? Oh, they say the words are oyster. Man, but oyster's ain't for me. You're the bell of the mall, but you ain't my cup of tea.

They always vote you best in show, but this doggy disagrees. Because I like life in Paddy's pub. It's the place for me. It's the place I go. And the beer is cheap, and the lights are low as Paddy's pub. I like Paddy's pub. Let the record show the greatest place to go. He's dead by cold Paddy's pub.

I like life in Paddy's pub. What's up, Philadelphia? What's up, Billy? Thanks for hanging out with us tonight, guys. I'd like to address, right off the bat, the eagle in the room. Apparently, there is an American football game being played here at the link, and I'm devastated that I'm not there, but I'm very happy that you are all here. Now, we booked this event months before the NFL put out its schedule,

and as soon as it did, I begged them to change it, and apparently, once you sign a contract, that's binding. Is that correct? I meant that you begged the eagles to change it. You meant me. I can't believe that a game is being played without me being able to watch it. Are you worried that if you don't go through your little quirks and routines that they're going to lose tonight? The boys need me. Yeah, of course.

They need everybody in this room. Rob, is there a way we can have our cake and eat it, too? Funny that you should ask. So, hopefully, none of you will take your phone out of your pocket to see the score. And we have a system set up. For every time the eagles score a touchdown, you will hear this. Touchdown, eagles! I'll keep you in the room.

We got you, guys. We got you. And then we will, of course, chant. Don't do it yet. But it turns out, the game just started, and on the opening drive, guess what happened? Touchdown, eagles! And now we will say, E-A-G-L-E-S, eagles! Okay, thank you. All right, so we should start the show, then. Let's talk about this episode of television.

You guys got to watch the second half of it. Yeah, did that make sense? Did any of you watch the first half in anticipation? All right! Really? Okay. Because otherwise you'd be totally lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very complex plot. Lots of moving parts in this episode.

Speaking of moving parts, how about that dick shadow? Oh, yeah. I actually, I did want to talk about that dick shadow, and I think we have a photo of it that we can put up, because I had a question. Yeah. My question for you is, which one of you supplied the dick for the shadow? No, I'll say, and this is the best part about Caitlyn not being here, I can say, that's me.

And there's nobody here to dispute it. It was actually all three of us lined up together. Right on top of each other. It's a camera trip, so we just stacked. Oh, we mashed our dicks together, stacked them, and stuffed them in. We often, times when we're making a show, we have lots of really funny emails with people who have mundane jobs. This isn't a set up for some emails that we're going to put in the show.

And we'll have to write back and forth to these standards and practice people, and they'll say, please make sure your penis shadow does not have any veins or no details. Do you remember? Can we put that back up again? I remember, this is my conversation. So, if you'll notice the contour at the very top, that was the most we could get away with. But trust us when we say we wanted a massive head to this time. They're a mushroom tip.

A real, yeah. But instead we got Ridley Scott's alien, you know what I mean? Actually, interestingly enough, look at Frank's arm. That's the dick I wanted. Yeah. Look at that. That was like the one we got on the dick bike, though. That was like a serious one.

Well, that had a fist at the end of it. That did have a little fist at the end of it. You got a good wobble, which made it funnier. What? A good wobble to the dick bike. Sure. Up and wobble and down and up and wobble. I don't know if that's what you want, but it's funny.

Let's talk about, you have a great monologue at the top of this episode where you're talking about the Duster. Yeah. And you're very irritated about the idea that someone would ask you to burn the Duster. Well, okay. So actually, I don't know if you guys remember this, but on the day that we shot that episode, I was irritated. I was actually...

Oh, we know. This was a setup. We remember very well. You were irritated about something? The reason Charlie asked that question is because we remember it very, very well. Oh, so he's prompting me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's led you into a trap.

This is like a show. This is a show trap that you've just stepped into in front of 5,000 people. Okay. All right. I was hoping this whole thing was more spontaneous, but whatever. So yeah, I was irritated much like I am now. Okay. So we showed up on the day to shoot that monologue and somebody...

And I don't know who decided this. I don't know if you guys remember who decided this, but somebody built like a stage. Like we were having this funeral and we're supposed to all get up and talk about you guys and how much we miss you and shit. And there was a stage. And I remember showing up on the day and we were rehearsing it. And I was like, why is that? Who fucking built this stage?

Like what? Who did this? Like no one's on board for this. I don't want to do... Nobody wants to be there. Oh, you mean which of the characters would have built that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just angry at the crew.

Not who on the crew. No, no, no. That's what Glenn likes to do. He likes to come in in the morning and yell at the crew. And be like, who the fuck built this stage? I did. You guys told me to build it? That's a lie.

I'm very nice to the crew. No, I was... I just didn't... No, I was confused as to like how did... Within the context of the show, of the reality of the world that the show takes place in, who would have built the stage? And it didn't make any sense. And these guys were like, shut the fuck up.

Just do the fucking show. Like, who cares? I care. All right. Now that you're a little irritated, tell me you're not going to burn the duster. Yes, please. Actually, I would love to... You're a little agitated.

We're going to burn the duster. We're going to burn it. I want you to burn the duster back. We're going to burn it. I'm not burning the duster, okay? That's crazy. Why would you burn something so fucking awesome? Burn the duster?

Are you? No. No. No. I'm not burning the duster. That's off the table. Okay? I don't care about your fucking list of demands.

Okay? I'm not burning this. Crazy, all right? Move past it because that's not happening. It wouldn't burn anyway. It wouldn't burn anyway. It's flame retardant. Thank you.

That's it? It's like a shield of armor. I mean, it's fucking built to withstand... No. It's not happening. Move past it. Burn the duster. No.

I'm not burning the duster. So just... So move past it. Just move on. Actually, when we... Talk a little bit about this hand because that was very funny to me. Yeah. This shows you how long this dumbass show has been on television.

Yeah. That was three presidential terms ago. Yeah, it was because that was a... It was a George Bush thing, right? George Bush. George Bush, like, when he would talk, he would pause, and then he would keep going, and his hand would go like this. It's almost like his hand was, like, winding his brain up.

Trying to put food on your family. Okay, well... You referenced in this episode Europeans. Yeah, yeah. And their adventurous sexual practices. I did enjoy it, by the way, that we made them just... It made Jan just, like, a European in general. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It was a very specific conversation. It was like... Yeah, look, I'm gonna be up front with you. Iran was a pretty wild crew. There's probably gonna be chicks over here, like, all the time. I mean, just some pretty crazy shit. Here's the best part.

I don't even know most of their names. Oh, yes, it's like... Wow, yeah, you know, I've been trying to get into the anonymous sex thing lately. Oh, yeah. Now, are you European? Oh, I'm sorry, what gave it away? Jan Dennis's roommate is played by Kier O'Donnell. Yes.

So, how did you guys cast him? And do you know him already? No. No, I remember exactly what it was. It was just like anything else. We were, like, looking at auditions, and Kier O'Donnell came on, and was just, like, it wasn't even close. He was so much funnier than anybody else.

And so, that's how Kier got cast. That dude's amazing. Oh, sorry, guys, this is weird, but I'm getting a call right now from someone. What? Oh. What do you mean? That's right. Oh, come on.

Hi, guys. It's me, your favorite European roommate. Well, hello, city of Philadelphia. Guys, a little boat told me, peep, peep, get out. Said, you guys were back in the city of brotherly love, and look at this beautiful crowd. Oh, my gosh. Wow, I wish I could be there, guys, but, well, I'm technically not allowed back in the United States right now. Bad boy, huh?

Look, I miss you guys, all right? So, I sent you a little kinky surprise, huh? Turn around. Hey. Turn around, I won't do what I usually do, and head on back to the back wall. There? The wall? Well, no party is complete without a...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We've got a sound glory hall. Do you guys want to... Do we want a what? Do you guys want to...

Why don't we let a lucky fan enjoy the glory hall? Who wants all the glory tonight, guys? Who wants all the glory? Who's feeling glorious? Looks like we've got to find somebody who's dressed up. We've got some cricket. Oh, we've got a rickety cricket in there. Whoa, there's a whole day, man.

Look at a pizza hat right there. Pizza hat, lady. Hey, green man, put the hood on. Oh, yeah, there you go. You just get your face just down here. Just a little bit and just peek into this hall. And I think something's going to come out. Oh, it's a sunny poster.

That's way more wholesome than what I was expecting. Now, this gentleman is from Rexham. What? Yeah. Up the town, motherfucker. Do you want to keep into this glory hall? You're probably familiar with the ones in Rexham. Get a good look in there.

It's a nine-core machine. Good, good, good, good. And I don't need to ask your name because your name is Green Man. What's this going to be? Don't get too close. Don't get too close. Oh, no. Look out.

Oh, it's a kill boss. It's a hot dog. It's a hot dog. All right, Green Man. I wouldn't eat that. Don't eat that. He really can't see in that thing. I don't know.

Well, you can't see. That's why that hot dog got so close to his face. I'd like to talk about that slide show, which is really awesome. That Mac and Charlie slide show. And I happen to know that your psychotographer, Pat Mac, took all those photos of you guys for that slide show. And I know that because he shared some of the extra ones that never made it into the episode with me.

And I cut them together. I also added Glenn so he would feel included. So let's roll it. I appreciate that, Mac. It feels like yesterday. It feels like we just did that. Oh, does it? I watched that and I'm like, fuck, I should dress like a cowboy boy.

You what? Yeah, that's, that looks right. That's where your head goes. If I'm being honest, I felt the same way. I feel like I'm pulling that look off. Yeah. Oh, good for you. I like that Rob's trying to look strong.

So he's carrying rope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? I shit you not. And we, I'll take a photo of this and we can put it on the podcast. Caitlin has that framed and in her closet. Really? That photo is in a frame in Caitlin's closet.

Why were you holding the rope though? Were you like, hey, Pat, get me with this rope. Yeah. What's the idea? You're working on the docks and you got to tie stuff up. You got to tie up crates and vessels as they come in. You got to tie them up. Make sure they don't bump into it.

The rope is very phallic and you have a lot of it. Yeah. Okay. I like to bind. I like to be bound. You guys get it. You guys get it. One of my favorite scenes in this, I got, I got to give Caitlin Olsen.

Are you guys familiar? Caitlin Olsen. I think my favorite scene in the entire episode is that scene on the bus. Just watching her just be endlessly frustrated by the freaks that are on that bus. And the guy, the, the, the guy who throws up. Yeah. So yeah. The mouth breathing into her mouth.

Yeah. Just, you try. This guy is excellent. Sir. Sir. I just, I need to pull the cord to get off the bus. This is my stop. You're in my way.

Can you get out of the way? So I can pull the cord. I'll get out of your way. So as I get off the, oh my God. What is wrong with you? God damn it you bitches. So I don't know. Are there any actors out there?

I mean, okay. Right on. Well, I, I only asked because if you've ever had the experience of auditioning for something, you know, it can be often very strange and, you know, in this guy's audition, it was literally just like, just stand there and stare at somebody and look creepy. You know what I mean? And just breathe on them, you know? And I do remember that we very, we had a very specific idea in mind for what, what we wanted

that puke to be. And we gave him the direction. And the direction was, we want you to spit up on your shirt like a baby. Do you remember that? Like a little hiccup. Yeah. Just like a little dribble it out like a baby. Just like, you know, any, anybody who's had a baby, you've seen that it just, it just

kind of comes out like, what's that actor's name? America's. Am I making that up? Actually, we were talking about it being Atticus, but I think you're right. It was America. That means they was America's. So that, I mean, and we brought him back. Fuck yeah.

America. Fuck yeah. Y'all like this country? Yeah, I'm gonna rise up, gonna kick a little ass, gonna kick some ass in the U.S. Hang on a climb up, gonna fly on an eagle, gonna drop a little truck, gonna kick a little butt. Brock Lang and Eagle. America, mate.

America. America. Is that? America. It was Atticus. It was Atticus. Oh shit. You know what?

We were right. Not to me. But I so, this is one of the first times that I'm upset that we were right. I wanted you to be right. Yeah, I wanted you to be right as we convinced that he was right. Because America's is so much cooler than Atticus. America's. What's his first name?

Anybody out there named America's? Is he Atticus America's? Stop. His last name is Atticus Todd. That sucks. Yeah. Let's talk about Philly a little bit. How many?

Let's talk about Philly a little bit. For both of these episodes, you shot in Philly. What is it like shooting in Philly? You guys have any great memories of being here in this city? You can also bag on it. I mean, if you feel like turning the crowd against you, but any good memories? I wouldn't do that in here. I wouldn't do that.

I wouldn't get hit in the face with a battery. Now, filming in Philly is the fucking best place in the world to film anything. That is great. It's the best. It's amazing how many people actually show up to set when we come here and film. We need to do it again. It's been too long, honestly. It's been too long since we've been here, and we need to remedy that.

What do you say? Huh? Yeah. No? It's not enthusiastic at all about it. No, I think it's the opposite. I think if I talk about it a little too much, I might start crying. Let's have some tears.

Let's shed a tear for Philadelphia. Actually, you know what? I'm going to call bullshit on that. Are you having feelings? I don't think you can cry right now. Well, I've got a little tear-jerker thing. What? Don't help them.

I'm going to help because Pat sent me some great photos of when you shot your Christmas episode here. Have you guys seen the Christmas episode? I've got a little slideshow of pictures here, and I remember Rob telling me a story about this shoot. Yeah, so normally we're used to shooting in Los Angeles where everybody's just annoyed that you're even anywhere close to their house or their block, and they just complain. And so we're doing a Christmas episode, and it was the middle of July or August, as you

can see, as we were all sweating. Everyone's wearing T-shirts and shorts. And we needed to do this big Christmas scene, and so we had our location manager go out, and they wound up knocking on each one of these people's doors and asking them if they would be okay if we shot this Christmas episode. And not only did they say that it would be okay to shut down their entire street, but all of these Christmas decorations are put up by the people who lived on this block. Amazing.

This is not our art department. This is them. They got out in July, and they put up their Christmas decorations for us because they wanted to be a part of the show. And that is, to me, what it is to come back to this city. That's your amazing past. I had a moment a couple of years ago where Chase Utley's number, so his number was retired, and Chase called me and asked me if I would have a catch with him.

At Citizens Bank, when we were announced, the announcer said, Philadelphia's own Rob McElhenney. What are you from here? And to have grown up in this city, and to be surrounded by all of you people my entire life, and to go out into the world and do whatever it is that I'm doing, but to be able to celebrate it and come back home and to still feel like every time I come home, not only am I welcomed by you, but that you still consider me to be your own, and I consider you to be a part of everything that I am, I'm eternally grateful. Let's do a toast.

We do a toast? So if anybody has alcohol out there, I would love to do a toast. Let's do a toast, guys. So straight up to the city of Philadelphia, I love you, thank you. This is turning into one of the greatest nights of my entire life. E-A-G-L-E-S, ego. The ego born out of thunder. He flies through the night.

But you mess with his ex, y'all. Oh, you're seeing fine. Yes, we have feathers. But the muscles of men. Because we're birds of war now. But we're all so men, birds of war. Sort of a little bit put me in the mood for a song. Hey, Charlie.

Yeah? Will you play a song? I like to play a song. You guys want a song? Song or no song? A song, then. A song, then. A song it is.

Does this thing work? Here, listen. Is this thing on? Turn it up a little bit. Turn the shit up, man. There we go. That was that little boy, that little baby boy was me. I once was a boy.

But now I am a man. I fought the nightmare, lived his day man. Now I'm into rocks for your hands. So if you want to marry me, will you marry me? Would you come on stage and join me? In this thing called matrimony, please. Yes, and do not burn me. Please, just marry me.

There he is. There he is. Yes, sir, thank you, sir, for coming out of nowhere. You creeper. There he is. Good thing I have a song. God bless you. There is a spider.

Spider, spider. Deep in my soul, soul. He's lived it for years. He just can't let go. He's hanging around. He's got a mean bite. Now he's ready to fly. And stand up for what he does.

I don't want your trophies or your gold. I just want to tell you all, go fuck yourselves. Oh, fuck you. I don't need you here, my boy. Oh, fuck yourselves. Oh, fuck you. We love you guys. Fuck you.

What happened? Thank you guys. You fucking love you guys. We love the shit out of you guys. Thank you, fella. And I love you, fella. Go fuck yourselves. Oh, fuck yourself.

Love you, fella. Fuck you. Good night, guys. Good night, guys. David. I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a master of karate and friendship for everyone.

I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a master of karate and friendship for everyone. I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a master of karate and friendship for everyone. I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun.

I'm a master of karate and friendship for everyone. I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a fighter of the night, man. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a master of karate and friendship for everyone. I'm a champion of the sun. I'm a champion of the sun.

Stage Freaks. You say stage freaks, just do it. The Sunny Podcast is basically a bunch of dudes. Yeah, you know Danny DeVito? Talking about a show that they were in. We got a little too loud, but at the same time, we're like, birds fans. But they can't exactly stay on task.

I got one word for you. Electric. Absolutely electric. They distract each other. They keep going on and on and on and on. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it.

And this sweet girl keeps trying so, so hard to try to get them back on topic. And they listen to her for a second. They're like, yes, yes, yes, yes. But... I was texting. I love Philadelphia. Thank you for coming. Megan Structure Now.

Give Megan a raise, by the way, for Christ's sake. Why do we got to sell... Oh, here's Megan's shill of the day. And don't make her feel like shit about it. Don't make her... Oh, Megan's got to pay her rent this week. Well, then pay her more, fuckface.