The Always Sunny Podcast - Rob Almost Fights Some Guy Outside A Hamburger Store

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

Everything is 100% fine.

Let's get into it because we got a little we're rolling a limited. Yeah, we got limited time. Oh, yeah So let's do we I thought you pushed her. I'm why an extra 15 minutes, but yeah, right? Yeah, you know Look, we got to talk about Rob's parking job this morning because it was Fantastic, and when you pull into a garage by the way when I pulled in it was the only car in the garage When I pulled in there was no cars there And I was like, oh my god I got to do this as quickly as possible and get out of the garage because it won't be funny if they Yeah, it's very funny. There was no cars there. So for listener at home Rob

Parts sideways taking up two spots diagonally. Yeah diagonally sideways would have been incredible. Yeah, yeah And specifically the spots that are labeled Charlie and Glenn he took our spots and Double parts and boy it made my morning. I made my day did it. I had the exact opposite reaction I was just I was like this is so fucking annoying I almost went to Rob's spot and did the same thing over there I had no order park and I was like, ah now it's fine. Just the one I would have come in furious I know I know here is and so I let it be and so I let it be there is there is a world in which Maybe I would have found that funny

And for some reason this morning, you know, I wasn't not in a bad mood or anything I wasn't in a bad mood when I showed up, but for some reason I didn't find it funny I I recognize that it is funny. I will say that But it's like one of those as well as jokes where it's like well, it's like it's like somebody pushes you in the pool You know, everybody thinks that's fucking funny, but it's like you just pushed me in the pool you motherfucker Fully clothed, you know what I mean like I can't fucking change my attitude or something I saw actually yeah I was Jill and I were were in Mexico and we were at a hotel and we were hanging out by the pool just chilling and

and there was some like wedding party that was there and and There was one morning where You know, it was like a group of people in their 30s and this one girl pushed her girlfriend into the pool She was fully clothed and I was like, oh, this will be interesting. I wonder how she's gonna react She's she just laughed. Yeah, she laughed and she just was like well I guess this is a swimming dress now and everybody else laugh and then she just kept swimming. Yeah, and I was like Man, I wish I could be that person Audience I know but you got to know the audience

I know I would never do that to you, but I have like four friends I would do that to our friend Matt Manek for example, right? Yeah, like you could throw him into the middle of the ocean off of off of a cruise liner And he would think it was funny, right? And I don't and I know that I would not ever do that to you because you wouldn't find it funny This morning. I knew for a fact that Charlie would find it funny and you I thought 55 to a 50-50 chance Yeah, well, this is the problem with a comedy, right? This is not all jokes are for everybody and you know, there's a lot of

There might be people out there that that can never find parking that are finding this conversation really upsetting For most of us parking is very difficult new motherfuckers have a garage who just parks galore and you think it's it's funny park your car However, you want you're not being set up to me Well, there are plenty of spots now in that garage. I think yeah, but they're not they're not They're bad spots. They're not good spots. So that's that's part of it, too But also like so now you because I'm like I'm not gonna have somebody jammed in next to me So I just took up two spots. Yeah, I took up two spots, too Okay. Yeah, it happens

Well, this actually has everything to do with this This crazy thing that happened last night and I wanted to bring it up to you because I was thinking well This is kind of falls in line. That's quite a buildup. Yeah, exactly with like the this parking thing that is like so stupid but also But but it's something like people have to deal with it on an everyday basis and I don't know if I did the right thing but I I and I want to get counsel. I want to hear your I want to hear everybody's point of view I would love to hear Megan's point of view as well because I want to figure out how I

I can how I can move forward should a a something like this happen again. Mm-hmm. I will say it was the closest That I came to a physical fistfight in 10 years. Okay, so excited about this. All right, let's get it. I was We were milliseconds away. When did this happen? So last night last night. Okay. Okay. So you and Caitlyn? Caitlyn left on Saturday morning. Okay to go shoot a movie in Canada all right leaving me solely in charge of the safety of our boys Well, I'm gonna tell you well, there's we don't have anybody Helping or anything like that over that certainly over the weekend So it's just the three of us, you know doing our doing our thing and we had this plan to go

To dinner to in and out burger, which is like an exciting thing to go You know Sunday night. It's taking the kids to a burger joint. Yeah, and you're gonna get there's a lot of people They're listening to this. I've never heard of in and out burger. I'd never heard it. No, I think most people have heard It's a California burger chain. It's very good. Yeah, it's very good. It's high It's a higher quality. Yes, and people love it. They love it. Yeah, we are not sponsored by in and out So let's not let's not my kids love it. Let's not go crazy So it's so we drew now this one is in the heart of west of westwood. Okay, right? But for westwood people it's that's where UCLA is. Yeah, like college nice area. It's a college

A college burger joint. So we pull up. It's like 5 30, but now it's daylight saving. So it's nighttime Yeah, the kids are jazzed Axel sitting in the front seat. He's 11 Leo's in the back seat. He's nine and We we pull up and we realize oh as in and out always is there's a line of cars Yeah, and so the way that it's set up is that you have to go around the block Basically, so you got it. I see that there's a line of cars. I'm like kids have been looking forward through it all day We're just gonna sit. I'm like guys. You want to sit in the line? They said yes So I go around the block and I pull I pull in I'm probably like the 15th car So we're gonna sit here for 30 minutes. No problem. No, no in and outs. They got it down to us. They're trying to get you in

I would say but you're definitely in for a little bit of a wait Absolutely, and it did turn out to be about 30 almost 30 like 25 minutes I would never normally do but my kids were super excited. Yeah, so We're waiting there. It were like four minutes into it. We're listening to in the height soundtrack. We're singing along We're having a blast It's all fun. It's all good. Yeah Musicals, you know as as one does the Macklehanie family does sure we're listening to music musicals That's not yeah, okay, and the car so so at one point we're in this line and

A car and I shit you not you could not have scripted this better It was a Rolls-Royce. Oh man a fucking giant Rolls-Royce. Uh-huh, and it this guy decides he's coming the opposite direction So he just turns into the line Yeah, right at me like trying to get in between me and the car that's in front of me Yeah, I think well, there's no way he's trying to get in the line because now there's like ten cars behind me Oh, oh, he wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's so right So and he was out of great Pupon and there was a real thing people in Rolls-Royce as they fucking love that muscle So then I think this guy's probably just trying to do like a u-turn

He's trying to like turn around and then continue down the street, right? There's no way somebody could be this much of an ass It's not even on your radar because you're like, yeah, it's so outrageous. Nobody's so outrageous. Yeah So he so so then I realized like oh, he's not backing up to complete the the the three-point turn He's actually thinking he's gonna get in between us, right? Can I ask it? Yeah, right detail questions. Yes. Did he use his blinker? I Was no, I doubt it. I doubt it because this kind of person is not using blinkers He does not get this is the thing like I have a real price. Well, whatever. I just if he had his blinker on I'd be like All right, but no blinker. You don't get in. Well, you don't get in I don't let anybody in who doesn't use their blinker by the way

I'm furious. Okay It wasn't like oh my god, I messed up I'm so sorry or I'm in a rush or cannot this guy just pulls a fucking Rolls-Royce. I deserve this. Yeah, I deserve Okay, so once I then the On the traffic starts piling up because he's blocking Oh my god, whoa, and then I go and then I and then I roll down the window I go are you trying to turn around and he goes Back up back up and I said, I'm sorry. You talking to me and he goes he let me in

And I said what he goes let me in. Oh boy And I I turned to acts now. I have my children. Yeah. Yeah, that's tricky. That's tough. And I deep breath and I roll down the window And I said motherfucker You are not getting you are not getting in front of me So I don't know what you're gonna do, but you better do it right now And he looked at me and I looked at him and I look back at my kids and I was like, oh shit He might get out of his car, right? I have to I can't stay in the car because if I do I don't know what this guy's gonna

Do I don't know if he's gonna smash the window or whatever. Well, you know, yeah So I grabbed the key fob because I'm like if I get out I got to lock this door to lock them in. Mm-hmm because it's all happening so fast good Yeah, yeah, that's pretty that's why I have I also think if I have the key fob in my hand And if I have to throw a punch it won't break my hand out It'll you know, whatever it'll make my hand stronger like this is all happening fast So he he I see him start to get out and I start to get out and then he stops And then I stop and then all these college kids are like, what the fuck is going on?

And then then finally he pulls back in pulls back in and then he rolls up his window and he starts looking at his phone And I was like and Axel's like what's going on and I was like Well, I'm just handling something hold on one second and then I said and then he was but cars honking honking honking The guy's not moving. So I said, what are you gonna do? nothing The car finally pulls up in front of me. So I pull up and the guy gets in Behind me because behind us. I noticed we're too young women who were like clearly like college aged women who were like terrified of what was going on right and we're like

I'm not gonna get involved with this fucking lunatic. So they let him in so now I'm looking in my rear view mirror We're now in line together and I keep looking up to see like he's behind me I'm like, is he gonna get out of the car? But I'm like, I'm not getting out of this fucking line We're getting our cheeseburgers now. Axel and Leo. I'm checking in with them thinking if they're scared. They're so psyched They're like, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? I'm like Guess what motherfuckers we're getting our cheeseburgers and they were like, yeah, we're listening to in the heights That's the best part is is like you you're rolling the window down

It would have been better if you were listening to some like like, Oklahoma or something. You know what I mean? I'm a little confused on something. Sorry. He keeps going. I need some clarity. Yes So you're in the line. He tried to get in front of you. You called him out Yes, and then he got behind you, but now you're all just like in the line together Correct, correct. But God, I wish when you rolled your window down. You were listening to like, hello, dolly Yeah You know that when it all becomes like a blur. I need a little more information Did you get a good look at it? Did he look like a Conor McGregor kind of yeah?

So that was what was that right the scariest part to me is that I wasn't even paying attention to that Yeah I didn't know if there was four guys in there or one and then I was like I took a deep breath It was like thank God. There's just like one and I think he saw He saw that I was ready to go and he and and then he wasn't and I was like thank God and also thank God I don't know who this guy is. Why are you driving a Rolls Royce? He could be a gangster. He could have a gun I don't know what the fuck's going on, but it turned out. He just he's just a bully pussy. So thank God So now now he's behind me and I keep looking in my mirror not because I'm trying to antagonize him

But because I'm wondering like it's this guy gets out of his car I'm gonna have to do something about it, right? And I don't but I'm not gonna leave I'm not gonna leave because I feel like that sends the wrong message to the kids, right now Of course the right but this is let me finish the story and then I'll go back and ask a number of questions because I have Because I'm not sure that I handled this right hundred percent correctly, but I figure okay now here we are So I shit you not we go to turn the corner because the line is literally going around the block It's a blockbuster the the in and out and as I go to turn Another car a third party gets involved. Okay now

This is two guys and they pull up and they try to jump jump in and I literally have to like in front of you in Front of me again at the turn. Let me ask you another question here. Yes Are you leaving it awkward? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. You're jammed in. Yeah Yeah, but just so the listener and hope because I'm using my hands this way But you're saying there's there was no like odd amount of space between your car and the car in front of you for some reason They think you're the car to jump in front of um, it was you're in the way that we were positioned Yeah, because the way we were positioned aware you are on the corner I was making a right turn

There's only so much and then there's a walkway and there's college kids everywhere So you've got to leave a little bit of a space, but it's not a marriage, you know what I mean? We're if you're on a freeway and you got to merge at the end Whatever you keep in track. Let's people literally knowing they're jumping in let me ask you And there's no way from where your position that it could be accidental like they couldn't tell that you are there's absolutely No, okay. Can you okay? It's so 100% clear because in and out is always there's always like a line like this, right? I'm trying to get the big picture

And then also then also based on on this person's response these two guys so they pull up and then They like literally they're jerking their car in towards me, and I'm like what the fuck So did they see what had happened between you and the road? No, this is like oh my god I'm totally unrelated totally then Axel's like what is going on and I'll tell you what's going on and I opened the door and got out now I'm now I'm out of the car. Yeah, and I pointed at the guy that was driving and I was like turn this fucking car around right now and get to the back of the line and then he stopped pulled up drove around and went to the back of the line and then I pulled up and got in the car and

Leo was like you're You're very upset And I was like I am very for him for like is everything okay. I'm like everything is 100% fine now Meanwhile, you you're my adrenaline is through the roof, right? But I'm not gonna let I don't want them to feel like scared or whatever So I jack up in the heights because now I'm like fuck this like now Now now now I'm like this is my favorite part. We gotta play we gotta play this cool So Piragua comes on and we're singing Piragua Piragua Piragua. I don't fucking know

Now I'm at a 10 my kids are having a blast. They're like are you gonna get in a fight? I'm like, I don't know I don't know. Yeah, I keep checking in with motherfucker behind me. He's not even looking up past his phone He's he's moved past it. Yes, and now there's like all these kids around watching like what's going on I hear some guy go is that Mac and I was like, hey All right, I know yeah, it's a bunch of college kids. Oh my god. This is nuts. I'm like, I don't know what's going on I just want to get a hamburger guys and then they're watching one of their favorite Possibly one of their I'm gonna say it's probably one of their favorite shows one of their favorite Characters on on on TV like almost getting a fight with like multiple people

44 years old in a college town But are you being filmed yet? Like this is the stuff that like the internet's made up Yeah, like to see you get your ass kicked on top of a Rolls Royce in front of a hamburger joint in front of your Story, yeah, it's like the kind of shit that goes viral forever. What Mac gets beat up in front of a hamburger store 100% so this is all like flashing through my head as fast as possible because you got to watch out for the humiliation Beaten up in front of your children I know you better win if you're gonna get out he's gonna win I know I know I was I I think the guy saw that I was like ready to ready to go still and you had justice on your side

Yeah, yeah, that's what I believe that's a powerful ally Yeah, so then now I'm now we're in line and we're like ordering food and I'm just like, okay I guess we're just gonna go through this very normal process, which is exactly what we did We paid the people we got our hamburgers and we went home Mm-hmm, and then I sat them down as we were eating and I was like asking the questions I'm like, how did you feel like was that like are you scared or you nervous and they were like that was awesome? Like that that was the scariest part is like right. They were like that was super fun because it was like exciting and I don't think they were ever

Scared but I don't know. I was like trying to figure out like, okay This is a teaching moment, right? But I don't know what the teaching moment is because I was like look Violence and aggression only leads to more violence and aggression However, if you allow people To just step all over you and like literally like if you're the only thing analogous would be like Like if you're in New York City or if you were anywhere actually and you were walking and you were standing in a line Like it's Starbucks and someone just literally came up and just stood there in front of you and then like pushed you behind

No, yes Like you that would just never happen like no nobody does that No, nobody has that level of like bully in them or aggression in them if they do they're probably a lunatic But for some reason you have these cars and there's like a degree of separation but I did notice that Those guys once they saw that there was a man on the other end of it and a man who was seemingly like insane like ready to Go and fucking beat them senseless They stopped and then they got behind and then they cut off the women that were behind us, right?

so like it was like So to watch bullies go in and try to bully then when you stand up to the bully then they go and bully somebody else like There's no they're not gonna learn a lesson. Yeah, maybe they think twice before they do it again I I don't know, but I don't know. I don't know if I did the right thing. I Don't know what the right thing in the in that moment is not putting my kids at dangerous number one and I didn't I truly did that That's a tough one. Yeah, I mean, I suppose there's a step between like Screaming cussing at the guy like I suppose there's a step where you get out of the car and you say, excuse me

I'm sorry. We're in line. Please go back to the back of the line But if they're unresponsive to that then you have to take it to the next level I don't know seems like the Rolls-Royce guy was kind of there by the way I don't think I would have been able to let go of the guy getting in behind me. Yeah Yeah, I like I would have struggled with that too I wouldn't thinking like do I get out of the car and tell him to get out of this line Yeah, cuz he cut in front of other people. It's not about me. It's about cutting in front of any of us. Yes. Yeah Yeah, he bullied the people behind us now meanwhile

What I'm what I'm guessing and this is where I want to check in with Meg because dudes I have to navigate this all the time with other dudes But I haven't in a long time like not since I was like younger But women have had to navigate this for oh millennia Dealing with men like finding themselves in these situations and I'm sure that these women were like, you know what fine Who cares fucking get in line. It's goddamn in and out burger. Who cares like are you? But the only thing that I extrapolate from that decision-making process for that guy is that he does a version of that all day long But that's why he was able to calm down and just go straight back to his phone

He's he's he bullies all throughout the day and sometimes he gets away with it and other times He doesn't doesn't fucking phase me the way now. He's so used to it. It's just normal behavior for him So he just like he was like this guy's not gonna let me do it. So fuck it. I'm just gonna my phone Yeah, I'll pull in front of these girls. Yeah. Yeah It was a it was like it was psychotic almost like I'm gonna not care about people so much that I'll block traffic Yeah, with my Rolls Royce to get in because people have let me do this for and then I Physically feel yeah feel something right now like like in my in my body I can feel fury and and rage kind of boiling up in there. It's in there

I'm like oddly enough just hearing this word we went to the batting cages a few weeks ago And I realized I as we were stopping and starting I realized I had two aluminum bats in the trunk of the car because they kept clinking and I was like there was a point in which we were it was already past the the event and I kept hearing them clink and The more I heard them clink the more I was like, you know, if things go south, I know I have those bats back there I'm gonna fucking destroy this guy's car and maybe destroy him. Yeah, and I'm I truly believe I would have done it. That's Crazy, well, you wouldn't have right because you didn't right so so you do have a stop Like I we I think we all have those thoughts in those situations where like I'm gonna go berserk, you know

You know pull a jack Nicholson pull out the golf club out of your car and smash the guy's windows in But you had something that stopped it because you didn't my my children in the car. That's a big one Yeah, but like if you were sitting next to me or you were sitting next to me I think we would have gotten on a fist fight Maybe or he would have he got we were ready to I was still ready to go and he he did not get out Which thank God he didn't because I don't know what would happen. Well, that's the thing He might have a little gold-plated pistol That's like a little Marvel handle and it gets you right in the thorax and there you go

You're done. I might have been a fucking MMA fighter. I have no idea. Yeah, I know yeah That's that's that's the always the thing that I think of these days whenever I get into a situation like that is I'm just like It's not worth it. No, it's not worth it. I and the lesson that I'm teaching my kids. I Look, I mean if you're asking what is the right thing to do I I mean, I you know not that I'm any authority on this But I think the right thing to do in that situation is to just let him in and I'll tell you why Because it's not worth putting yourself and your kids in danger. Mm-hmm to teach them the lesson of You shouldn't allow someone to push you around, you know what I mean?

Because like if somebody's if somebody Holds you at gunpoint and says give me your money. You don't go no because I would be teaching you the wrong lesson Yeah, you give them the fucking money because you don't want to get shot Yeah, now that being said I think I would have done the exact same thing you did because I have Rage inside me and I don't know why yeah, but things that are unjust and things that are unfair I mean, this is the whole this is this is why it ties in with the whole parking thing, right? Because it's the whole like, you know walking but by the way, it's this is what ties into the whole show

this is what the whole our whole show is for me is Lampooning the type of behavior that comes from people who think that they deserve better than everybody else in the world You know what I mean? And that they keep they should just be able to get whatever they want and do whatever they want Regardless of the consequences that it has on other people That's that that that's something that is so infuriating to me. Yeah, that it this is what I channel into the show I do believe in In some sort of karma, right? Like if you let that that guy in he gets his hamburger first pulls out and gets t-bone, right?

The second you know, I like I do think there is there's some truth to that sometimes in the world I'll give you an example almost the same exact scenario. I was in high school. I went to this really Fancy private high school. I commuted there, you know because it was in my town But lots of kids lived there and boarded there and they were super rich kids And I was not a rich kid and it was a very different sort of thing Well, you were your parents were your parents the music teachers there or no? No, I I just did an interview my parents said, you know, this is a really good school really close to us You should just go to the interview process and maybe we get financial aid

Oh, and I convinced them that I was intelligent and and I had the capacity to learn which was not nice How'd you do that? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm an actor. He's charismatic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but dumb as bricks but so So I'm in line in the food line and there's this kid and I'm gonna call I'm gonna call his name out Right can't get sued here. The kid's name was Paul And he was probably a senior and I was maybe a sophomore or something and he was twice my size and

And he was a cool kid and he wanted to be an actor. He was like the actor guy and he like cut in front of Me and a couple other guys and Just like blatantly cut in the line and you know same sort of thing my like teenage furious like hey man You can't do that You know and just like get going the back of the line So it comes he gets right in my face and it's like what are you gonna do make a move throw the first punch He's like you knock me out. I won't punch it and I'm like

The school had a really strict fighting policy. Yeah, I was like, I can't get expelled You know, I'm like parents have put everything for me to be here Like this fucking rich kid probably bounced from school to school to school school and So I didn't do it back down, right? He goes in line gets his food Then throughout the rest of the year before he graduates. He's Constantly calling me out trying to bully me trying to pick fight lure me into a fight. I never fucking do it well, I Know I know this about the kid. He really wanted to be an actor. Well, guess who's a motherfucking actor now

So so fuck you Paul Look him up on Instagram. I did like yeah, he didn't do shit. So so You know what sometimes what goes around comes around just saying yeah There's there's like well, it's also like that guy that guy, right rules Royce guy He's miserable. So because only a miserable person will do something like that I did think that for years to the point where I was like, I should even I even feel bad calling him out right now But like being like I fuck that kids probably fucking had shitty parents at home send him away, right? Well, that's true. That's true, right? You don't know what hit you don't know what led to that in him

That is a good point. I know that is sometimes some people maybe are just monsters, you know, like Well, there's there's there's true sociopaths, but I think most of the time that behavior comes from being mistreated themselves Of course, and you can look at it that way. So like I do think I mean, I really do think that the right thing to do is to go You know what this guy is is miserable and he's angry and he thinks he deserves everything and walking around the world feeling Entitled to whatever you want in any given moment is actually kind of a burden. It's difficult And it makes people into bullies and he's the kind of guy that thinks he's got to drive a Rolls-Royce so that people like right? Yeah, well, I think yes. Yes, I mean who wants a Rolls-Royce first of all There's the biggest ugliest clunkiest

Stupidest car nobody maybe if someone drives you in your Rolls-Royce if you sit in the back It's a butler's car. Yeah, we saw one the other day It's a butler's car when the other day and and it was it was actually really nice and Joel's like that's really yeah It's nice, but like it looks like it's like a butler's car. You know what I mean? Yeah, drive one of those yourself You have a guy drive you and even and then then that's dude Maybe he was a butler and he gets yelled at all day by the guy he drives around and he's like god damn it I'm just and the guy's like if you don't get me my hem a good my three o'clock, you know what I mean

He's like I gotta fucking just cut in this line. He's like oh this guy's furious at me. All right I'll get behind them and was he wearing a top hat and tails. I was I was open to that I was literally like what what's going on? What are you what are you doing? And if he was like I'm so sorry man I'm late and I just I got to eat and then I got to go pick up my boss. I'd have been like oh, okay This is yeah, right, right. He was like let me in And I and I I I just I went to it I picked up the key fob and opened the door like that's not gonna happen

Yeah, how often like you where you think oh no what I'm doing is keeping everybody safe in my mind Even though I knew I wasn't but I'm at a 10 and I'm like no no I'm keeping my kids safe because I'm teaching them a lesson. I'm keeping the whole this whole area safe. Yeah Yeah, I'm escalating something right to potential violence. That's right, right as opposed to just going to your point Yeah, go ahead go go ahead and go in the fact that it happened again Which is even crazier wild is like oh this is a thing that happens here every day, right? People stand in line sitting or they drive around in line and then other dudes there's no fucking way a woman has ever done this Just like cut in and been like now. I'm going. I

All capable What's that? I Would have I would have had a similar response. It just wouldn't have been physically. Yes, that's same. Yeah, exactly Right, you would have gone. Oh my god. I'm so sorry. Can I just get in here? I need to go do something It was more like it. I'm stuck. It was like let me in dickhead, which is what he was saying. I'd have been like no cunt Yeah, for sure for sure, which is totally appropriate. Yeah, I mean I you know and then and then Later on I told the 80-year-old woman to go fuck herself once. Yeah, and sometimes they they need to everybody needs to go fuck themselves I did her daughter was shot

Well, absolutely. Oh have basically spent the night and the day saying go fuck yourself go fuck yourself because that's what I said to the Second boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, whatever. Well, oddly enough earlier in the day Now this is not what I'm thinking about While this is happening, but earlier in the day I have one son who struggles with giving up power and control. He needs to like have control and power my other son struggles with Him giving too much of his own power away and it manifested in a very silly way But like the one kid always needs the remote control like always and he gets to dictate what they want

What what they watch and I'm like we can both we yeah, of course Everybody with kids does and like this is great The other kids got to have the remote control now because you have to practice first kid You have to practice giving up power and you have to practice taking power in difficult situations So it was kind of like manifesting itself in real time where I was like, oh wow Um Youngest son you have to see that like you can't let people walk all over you and just because otherwise They'll just keep cutting in line

But to what point do am I saying to your point Glenn earlier like am I saying actually you should do that at all costs, right? That's dangerous Like you giving up your power isn't like letting somebody in line in front of you Imagine the news story like you said Charlie like Mm-hmm, like I I have so much to lose right now my life could not be any better And and it's also not your job to police the world 100 main like right I'll know so it affects you more directly that they're trying to cut in front of you Now if you'd saw it three cars ahead you probably also would have been irritated by it

But slightly less irritated by it, you know if you saw it four cars behind But depends on who I was with like if I was with my kids I would have let it go if I was with like a friend or if I was alone I think I still would have gotten out and said something I think because specifically because of Who they were cutting off who they wound up getting in front of sometimes you don't have control over it Like your lizard brain takes over and your testosterone goes through the roof and then you're like I'm I'm also I'm equally out of control here That's where I was all the way even through the entire process because I'm now the guys behind me and I don't know if he's getting out

I don't know who he's texting by the way at one point. I was like maybe he's texting Right somebody to come meet him there. Yeah, yeah, and like we have access to the trunk And there was a part of me that wanted to be like hey kids grab the bats now just in case But I don't want to freak them out. Yeah, but I now I'm thinking like oh I can get to the bats because I'm stuck now between the car in front of me in the car in the back of me If this guy's texting his friends to come over here, okay, let's we got to be ready to rock So I'm like I got to get to the baseball bats. What would you do to 44 year old actor? I should not be in situations where I'm like considering getting a baseball bat to fight a guy

In a Rolls Royce in an in-and-out burger at Westwood, California. What would you do? Do you do double bats like a bat in each hand or what like what? No, I think I would go one double bats. You just don't have the strength and speed that you have with a single bat Yeah, unless you're trained in it. The guy comes out of your training double bats. That's pretty cool That's I'm saying yeah, if you're if you're if you start spinning them around and I don't have my swords But I do have these two bats, you know what I mean like then maybe yeah, but I think if you're not trained in it You want to get both hands? I think I go single bat and then I hand the other one to the axle and I'm like I don't know where this is headed man. Yeah, but you got a bat. We're gonna go back-to-back

Yeah, so you you know what I mean? You just you and axle back-to-back, right? Just fighting I think I think to your question if you had grabbed a bat and gone berserk And started smashing the guys headlights in or whatever it is even if nothing happened It would it probably would have stayed in your children's memory That's right, and it probably would have created pathways towards violence for them that Made it more accessible. I don't know. I'm guessing I'm guessing I agree But that that would not that would have been an act of offense not an act of defense what I was saying What was I was suggesting was like it would be an act of defense, but it's literally like metaphorically and

Physically like caveman holding clubs. It's like what I got to I was like I'm gonna hold a club like a fucking Like a caveman give my hamburger first to get my hamburger before you get your hammer. Give my hamburger Yeah, and like I was like I'm gonna be up all night Because I I'm like the worst dad ever and as I'm like reading to my kids and set tell them good night They're like that was awesome, and I'm like, okay great like go to bed And then I was like I'm not gonna be able to sleep, and then I slept like a fucking baby really yeah You thought your adrenaline was just gonna keep you up Replaying it in your hands away, you know yeah like I was putting my children in danger, right?

But then I don't know I think my adrenaline just dumped and I just felt so you so you went through that last night And then you came to work this morning, and you thought you know it'd be a funny job. Yeah, I'm gonna take up two parking spots. Yeah, well I said like it's a joke man come on. It's a joke. It's a joke. Which is the injustice of it all yeah, like if somebody actually parked that way if somebody actually parked that way we would all be very upset It's so hard. Yeah, this is Rob sense of humor though, right? I mean, you know one of your favorite jokes is you know somebody texts you like I'll text you something very sincere You know where I'm like hey man, I really appreciate you know you helping out on set yes or whatever like you know like a very sincere heartfelt text and Rob will text back

Fuck you Yeah, well that's your sense of humor. That's something we've had been we've had going on. Yeah, I forget when that started but yeah It's a great joke. It's a great joke because it hurts a little bit. Yeah, it hurts a little bit And you know that was I have to say like when when you and I first met Because that's always been yours your sense of humor and I've always had a strange sense of humor and I think it was in there to sort of have that kind of thing but I You you would make jokes and do shit like that when you and I first met to the point where I was like I don't know if I like this guy. I like it cuz I I was like I wasn't quite sure I

Was pretty sure that it was a I knew it was a joke I knew it was a joke, but I was like how deep is this darkness is this like a is this like a darkness? You know what I mean that that's there and he's learned how to channel it Or is this like a dark guy who's gonna bring me down if this is a northeast thing But I find you and your buddies and like that sense of humor means very familiar from New England I find it comforting. Yeah, whereas when I started dating Mary Elizabeth and she grew up in the south and then was in Texas And then out here That she

Was less open to like yeah, we don't do that shit in the south. Yeah, we don't make jokes like that in the south ribbing or like, you know Which and then I kind of I sort of grew out of it in a way where I was like, I guess it probably is better not to like insult someone or through humor or whatever, but Again, it's knowing your audience and depending on your know you're talking about and recognizing like oh They don't take this the way that I'm intending it and that that's not their responsibility That's my responsibility to make sure that I'm but I think it's I hope that it's tempered like those kinds of jokes are also

tempered by and maybe this is why we became friends like it's not that I'm deflecting like actual Emotion like we have very yeah, we have very involved emotional emotionally complex conversations and always. Oh, yeah And then every once in a while we think like oh, well, that's our rapport and then we'll text something about like hey Charlie, you did a great job yesterday Like I really miss like shooting with you and you're like one of the funniest people on the planet earth and then he'll respond Fuck you It stings just a little bit because you just said something like truly so you're like, you know what? I'm feeling something and I'm gonna express this to my friend and then your friend just text back fuck you. Yes

But it always stings a little yeah A little bit that's what makes it funny. That's what makes it a good way. It does I feel bad as we Several times you said I really want to get Megan's take on this Yes, and we've not and I know she doesn't want us I know you're avoiding the the mic, but I would appreciate if we just got your two cents on it Yes, if it's if it's because we can always do like a Charlie Brown thing on your voice so that we can't really Yeah, but I'd like to hear from your point of view because It really did feel like two men a bunch of men like all men

Causing abject chaos and it and and I was like oh god. This is I want to feel I want to hear a female point of view Do you mind you want to hop on one of these Mike real quick? Okay, you're gonna all right. Um, I Mean, I don't know what you want my take to be. I this is unprecedented by the way. This is unprecedented Finally this week on this thing. I'll move over close to Rob so we can share this Mike I would probably just let the person in as Glenn said I would be pissed about it but I would be like I'm not gonna

Enforce this what if it doesn't listen. What if it was another woman? If it was another woman, I would probably roll down my window and be like, hey, there's a line And if she was like fuck you let me in I'd be like I I'd probably just let it happen because like I don't know. I'm not gonna fight that woman, right? And like also might I don't start thinking about protecting everyone in the line because protecting them from what like that seems like a big leap for you to jump to um, what about the option of like literally just like

Just keeping pull like pulling so far That's what I would do. I would pull so close to the person in front of me that there was no fucking way they could ever get in Yeah, I and just and just keep that distance between me and the car in front of me You know and be like you want to hit my car fucking hit it. I feel like I would demand Let's fucking do that. I want that. I'd be like, what are you doing, man? So I want to get him like there's a line, you know, and then I'm like, why do you think this is okay? Yeah, right, right. Ask for an explanation. Yeah, explain yourself I would not have the emotional response that you did to that situation

I'd be like annoyed because I hate hate people that don't follow the rules But no, I wouldn't have ever gotten up, but I don't think you're like a bad person for having done that. I mean you didn't You didn't Actually hit the guy so I don't know There's something about knowing that that guy walks around the rules are always makes it worse The rules makes it worse and then the fact that then the fact that there were two guys later in whatever car they were driving Now there was two of them And the fact that they were they also back down

Right, and I was like these guys are such fucking. They're just bullies They're just bullies and sometimes I don't know like I don't know what you do with it How do I teach my kid that you should what you should always walk away from bullies sometimes you you shouldn't Yeah, sometimes you should call the bully out. Yeah, and sometimes you might Take an act like take a beating and that sucks But the truth is that like the bully is not gonna come back after you again. They're just not Sure. Well, if you beat you up, yeah, you'd be like I can beat this guy up. I got this guy That was never my experience. I mean like because because the bully wants to go after the person

That they know they is not going to give them least amount of trouble, right, right? You know what I mean? So it's like, I got to beat this guy up again You know what I mean like at a certain point I look sad Yeah, I mean, I don't know I like I think you introduced me to Eckhart Tolle and you know, I I think about that and and Like I feel like I do feel like though the the proper response is It's not my job to police the world. Mm-hmm. Some people are just miserable

And if this guy really needs to get in front of me Then, you know, if he really needs to cut the line, then, you know, it's like I'm not going to teach him a lesson Yeah, he's not going to learn anything today if anything he's going to become more entrenched in in in his feelings and thoughts And and I would be putting myself and my kids in danger Now again, this is you know, this is this is this is coming from somebody who Again, I think I probably would have done this the exact same thing that you did like truly But I'm analyzing it and I'm like, it's not I don't think it I really don't think it's the right thing to do And I think you sit your kids down and you go because I've always told my kids

I'm like the only time you should ever get in a fight is if you can't run Mm-hmm If you can't run and the reason is because sure, you know Whatever lesson you think you might be teaching that other person by getting in a physical altercation with them is not It's not first of all, you're not going to teach them anything and secondly Uh, you might end up in end up in the hospital You can end up with a permanent up, you know permanent injury of some kind You know people people get in fistfights and it's like sometimes it's it

You know, it's you got a couple bruises and cuts and it's no big deal Other times you get punched in the eye and you lose vision in that eye Or you kill somebody or you kill somebody or you hit somebody so hard They hit their head on the concrete and that person fucking dies. It's not worth it Now, of course not and it's always in reflection that you can kind of come to terms with that It's like what in the heat of the moment and people I think oftentimes don't realize like how quickly those things happen And how you're making decisions based on instinct and it's like within 35 seconds It was it was over, but you probably can condition your instincts, right? Whereas you've had

you know, uh You've had a childhood and and you know adolescents whatever where where you Created some pathways for that. This is how you resolve some of these issues, right? So you've learned that sometimes that works right sometimes physical conflicts I don't know. I don't want to say they give you what you want, but sometimes that's a way Through something some other kid, you know Obviously that's never been the option for them. So they didn't create those pathways towards like, okay This is a place my brain will go my brain will always go towards make sure I don't get hurt first or whatever

Well, I definitely have the luxury of having zero violence in my household like my I never got hit I never got spanked. I never got any of that. So like I don't think I have a propensity for For violence meaning like like you said where jack Nicholson got out of the car and just actually took the the Golf club and smashed the guy's windows. I didn't take it that far Right and that makes me feel good meaning like my instincts are taking me there You never got the spoon the wooden spoon. No or the belt. We never got any you got a spoon or the belt No, I never got a belt. No, no, no mom mom got me with the wooden spoon a couple times But I think she felt so bad about that was maybe like three or four times and then I think she should get you on the hand

On the end on the butt on the booty. It was a wood. I remember she had a wooden spoon that had holes in it It's like I guess so you could you know get the air you could get you could air flow. So it's actually moves faster Yeah, I'm not sure why is that why she picked that spoon? You think or she wanted to turn my ass into swiss cheese I don't know but uh, she got me with the wooden spoon a couple times. I think she felt fucking really bad about it and never did it again Yeah, that's sorry mom. It's a form of violence that kind of shit. Yeah, I know a lot of people spank their kids and It's still do what I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. It's not that's a whole other podcast That's a whole other. Yeah, but I but I think I'm lucky that I don't I never had that in my life And so maybe that's the difference but and I'm sure that I'll bet you that guy in the Rolls Royce and the other

Took the hit just had it's just a piece of shit. His parents are pieces of shit. And so he's a piece of shit Yeah, or maybe or maybe they're not maybe they're not maybe they're not too. That's the other thing sometimes They're not at all They're not at all. What pieces of shit like there are plenty kids and he's just a bad egg Yeah, our bad eggs. Great parents. Right. Right. That happens too. Anyway, that's crazy man crazy. That's crazy. I have to have a follow-up conversation You should yeah today. Yeah, you know. Yeah, for sure. I think you got to stay on that one and yeah Make sure it gets processed the correct way. Yeah, and if you're out there Rolls Royce guy

You know, you're listening. Maybe you're a fan of sunny. I don't know Maybe that's why you decided to check out because you were like, oh, I don't want to beat this guy out. He makes me laugh Yeah I'll let him live. Maybe you're like, I killed too many people all right today. I'll let this go. I'm gonna let him live It crossed my mind. I killed a man for this Rolls Royce You think this is mine? I can't afford it. This guy actually has more Discipline than I do. Maybe he's like a hired like maybe he is someone's driver and he's like a like a killer I don't I don't know you never know you never know

But I'm not thinking that in the moment. I'm at a 10. Yeah Anyway, yeah Yeah, well, I don't think we're gonna get to this episode. That's okay I think this is just a I think this is just a side episode of the podcast where we you know Yeah, sometimes you just got to talk about other things. You know, yeah Okay, fine. All right. Yeah, I'll I'll let you know how the conversation goes with the kids or offline Maybe that's just good for one episode. I think Oh, I don't know. Maybe we could we could do a follow-up next time. See just to see who knows but um

Is there something funny that somebody wants to say to entertain or are we just gonna talk at these people? Well, I mean, I mean, there was a lot a lot of fun. I'd say a 44 year old man getting almost into a fist fight in the in and out Uh parking lot for the sake of who gets the hamburgers first Definitely the thought of Matt definitely the thought of Matt getting beat up in front of a hamburger store In front of his kids is very funny in front of his children. Yeah, it could have happened. It could have very easily happened I just funny when I was younger like I didn't think about the consequences of getting in a fight like I would get I never got I didn't get in that many fights I got in a few fist fights and nothing really ever that bad happened as a result, but uh

You know now I think about it. I'm like, ah, don't break my hand or like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna fucking tweak my back. I'm gonna throw my back out. It's just not worth it You know what I mean? I'm like or the or this guy's a psycho. He knows MMA and and you know I just think I just think I can sort of like Usually I think I can psycho eyes my way out of most of those like that has gotten me out of most Most physical altercation psycho eyes No, really. I mean like because I because I do because I get I get so Furious I get so enraged that the impression I give is that I will fucking kill you

I will fucking kill you Uh, I've I've felt that For me. Yeah. Well, I'm in a in a comedic sense. That's what we try. Oh, yeah Yeah, it's so funny. Yeah, we all have that fire inside like I you know, I think I could go pretty psychotic if I had to Yeah. Oh, definitely. Yeah. No, you got it in you. I'm dangerous In dangerous man. Charlie Day is a dangerous man. I was just crazy. Charlie dangerous. He's got a banana on his shirt That's that's all right. I know that's all right. Well, God bless you guys. Thank you for hearing me out and um, hey, Rob Fuck you

Yeah, hey Rob the really In all seriousness No, but in all seriousness when you're when you're talking about your kid. No, I'm just kidding. Fuck you