The Always Sunny Podcast - The Gang Gives Back

Episode Date: January 3, 2022

Your kids are screaming and you’re drinking.

Hi, guys. Hey, it's so good to see you. Yes. Now, I just saw you this morning on screen, right? Yeah, as did I. I watched it this morning. Every time I'm I'm astonished by the same things. Number one, Charlie looks exactly the same to me. I'm sure if you did a side by side. Yeah, that's a generous in my mind. That's what you look like. Sure. And Glenn is incredibly funny.

Like in in ways that I forget about and then I'm reminded of and then I'm reminded of that of being in the editing room and watching both of you guys and just being like, what the fuck? How am I going to catch up with these guys? He's he's unintentionally insulted both of us. Do you notice that? He said, you look young, but I'm funny. Yeah. So in other words, you look young, but you weren't that funny.

Yeah. And I'm funny, but I look like shit. Yeah, but you know what it is? That's that's such a pessimistic way of looking at things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I picked up on it, too. That's like your face. I'm pretty fucking funny in that episode. You're unbelievable. Oh, my God. This is what it's like.

Listeners, this is what it's like working with these guys. No, it is. They take no compliments. They turn them into insults. And so in my mind, you guys are both those guys as well. So even though we're much older and many, many years of past decades, actually, you guys, that's those. It's still when I look at you, I see those two younger guys.

Yeah, that's interesting. If I look closely, I see the difference. I don't have to look that close. I love this episode. Me, too. Yeah. I really enjoyed it. I really like just the beginning scene of us just sitting at the table and it feels loose and real in a way and conversational or where we're just not going for any jokes too hard.

But it's also really funny, but it's very natural. Well, and in that first scene, it was not written in the script that you couldn't read. That's that's right. That document. That was something that you just wanted to do. You were like, let me do I'm going to try something. Yeah. And you just like. And I distinctly remember you, Glenn, being like, this is so dumb. And then me being like, I think it's dumb, too.

But it's also funny. And you're like, wait, are we literally saying we're on set? And you're like, are we literally saying that Charlie can't read? Right. And we were like, I can't. And Charlie's like, yeah, I guess so. And maybe like, guys, let me get you. Let me. I got you guys covered on this one. This is this is going to play.

This is going to play. You were right. I don't remember having objections to it. But I don't know why I would object to him doing one take. No, it wasn't certainly like, hey, don't do that. It was more like, wait, are we making a massive character choice right now on the fly in the middle of a scene? But this is a funny thing about about Charlie Day, not Charlie Kelly, but Charlie Day is that he is both constantly making his own character

dumber and dumber. Yes. And also complaining about how dumb his character is getting to us as we're writing things. And maybe that's the cloud. This is true. This is a very true thing that you're pointing out. Yeah. Well, I mean, you yourself, just to me, you're like, you're like, trust me, this is going to play, you know, and, you know, sort of implying that you had to talk us into, you know, giving your character like an incredibly, you know,

stupid character. I mean, a funny one, but a stupid one, a character trait that makes him stupid. But yeah, as we're writing it, you're you're always upset that your character, you feel like your character is getting too clownish and too dumb. Yeah. I guess we did talk about that in the last one, didn't we? Yeah. Clown baby. Yeah. Yeah. Or now, like in the later years, not not clownish enough or something. Right. Right.

No, I'm constantly doubting my things. I'm just very sure of my opinions that I then later doubt. Well, yeah, yeah. Well, yes, in the moment, I'm crystal clear. And then, you know, weeks after the fact, I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know. That's a good quality, though. Well, yeah, because I think, you know, you you you have both things in your head

at the same time. You recognize how funny it is when your character sometimes is really stupid or maybe even stupider than it even makes sense for the character to be given what we've shown the character to be like in the past or whatever. That it's super duper funny, but you're afraid of losing like the grounded quality and like the real the real feelings and intentions that the character like really needs stuff and that he, you know, really exists as a real person in this world. And yet, when we go too far in that direction, you're like, you you're you're upset.

You you get upset that you're not you know, you're not getting enough funny shit to do like, you know, like, you're making him to like, we're making him too real to or he's just the voice of reason. Voice of reasoning. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. It's funny. It's a it's a kind of a push ball in that way. I I weirdly feel like we all have that. You have that with like how evil your character might get.

I do. Yes. I that is true. This is too arched to evil. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. And yet and yet I also push it in arch and evil directions myself. So I do the exact same thing because I'm I'm always like, is it getting too like too serial killery, too like too creepy? This is the creative process, right? It's, you know, am I a serial killer? Am I not?

Yeah, that's the process. This is the process, right? You kill one person, you're like, well, I'm a murderer, but I'm not serial. Not for me. That's the I didn't get the satisfaction out of that. And then you stop, right? So you're a murderer, but you're not a serial man. Then you try it. You try it again. You're like, OK, maybe I'm starting to see the something to this, right?

OK, and then it's definitely easier the second time, the third and fourth. You're like, you know, it'd be cool if I could talk to cops a little bit. So you start with like messaging, right? Right. And then next thing you know, you look back on it and you've got a great body of work. You're like, can I can I make a whole sentence? Like, can I make a whole sentence or only one word out of this guy's teeth? Yeah. You know what I mean? You start to need more. I'm going to need more guys to get a sentence.

So I'll start with a word, a phrase at a time, then the cops will put it together and then by the time I've collected each victim, you can make one word out of their teeth and then you put it all together and there's a message in there. That's the creative process. And I'm sure. I'm sure a lot of the murders are like, you know, am I going too far with the messaging here? You know, like my two psychotic and they complain. They're like, oh, this other guy's way more psychotic than me.

I just like, you know, yeah, that's right. Right. They don't want to be looked down on as just simply crazy. It's like, you don't call me crazy. I'm a genius. I'm an artist. You know what I mean? They're almost upset. But then some other serial killer does something that's way crazier than what you did. And you're like, well, that don't show me up. Well, I mean, are they changing with the Times as well?

Are they looking at the are they looking at their body of work and saying, you know, I need to be more inclusive, right? So they're changing with the culture as well. In other words, they're they feel like I've killed too many white ladies. Exactly. Yeah, we need to expand it out. Yeah, sure. I'm sure they feel those pressures. Yeah. Yeah. Well, everyone does. They don't want to get they don't want to get canceled for that.

Sure. There I would I would actually say that there there's an argument to be made that like making Dennis a serial killer or like like we're suggesting that maybe he is is less potentially less evil than what we're kind of doing in these episodes because because once you go to that place, you're like, oh, this is like a cartoon. It's very clearly satire. Whereas this one like Charlie is is like in this woman's apartment and just like casually.

She's saying no over and over and over again. And Charlie is like right being like, I'm not leaving and like. But he's so likable that I know he's still lovable when he gets away. He gets away with it. But when you look at it and you're like, well, we're not really commenting on that aspect of it. So we were like blind to that because we were like, oh, everybody. No, we were remotely blind to that.

Like, are you kidding me? Like, completely aware that that was inappropriate for the character to be doing. And that's where the humor was coming from, which is like, this poor girl has to deal with this guy's terrible behavior. Woman. Yeah, she was only 11 when we shot that. Well, and then we, by the way, we also then then in this episode suggest that she's a terrible person as well, which is the first time we really.

Well, no. Okay, then welcome. Now that actually brings up an interesting thing because this is there's a very little massive inconsistency in this episode that makes no sense. What is that? And the reason it makes no sense is because we aired this episode after an episode. That was previous to this. Oh, the Mac Banks, Dennis's mom.

Yeah. Yes. So so it's they're talking. We're talking about the waitress as if Frank didn't sleep with her, which he does in the episode. Right. So I remember what happened was they love the effects love that episode so much. And we did that one and the welfare welfare one.

Yes. They pushed both of them up. Yes. And they were like, we want to put these in the front and kick this one to the later part of the season. And we were like, that doesn't really make any sense because it doesn't really track. We know that Dennis slept with her. Mm hmm.

That happened in season one. Yes. But we don't know that. But then Frank says what's with Frank's with the Charlie's with the waitress girl. It doesn't make any sense. And the network was like, we don't care. And at the end of the day, it doesn't seem like the audience care. Yeah.

It was supposed to be the it was supposed to be the third episode. It was supposed to come right after the game goes to hot. I mean, that's what we're talking about in the beginning. Like we burned a building down. I mean, I think you could easily miss that if you're not tracking the arc of it. You just feel like I guess they burned a building down. I don't know. Yeah.

Or they finally went to court. Right. Yeah. But I think it just plays like Dennis slept with her in the past. But it didn't bump me so much with the. It's the conversation with Frank where he's just like, what's the deal with this waitress who is she like? Yeah.

He had sex with her. Yeah. And then she freaked out. And then you cried. All he says is that Charlie's with that waitress. Which was a fake tear. I remember. Was it?

Well, no. No, you know what it was. That was just you held your eyes open. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my eyes. Real tear though.

I was funny because I remember how you worked hard to get that out and it worked so well with the timing of it. The timing were good. But like, no, no, the trick and the technique for young aspiring actors at home is sometimes you do a few takes, you can really get it. Sometimes you're like, oh, we need one more. And you're like, well, I can't fucking get tear up. Right.

And if you just don't blink for a while, those eyes get nice and dry. Sure. Or they come and blow those crystals into your eye. Yeah. I don't remember the action. We didn't have a crystal budget. What are those? It's like a.

Menfall. Menfall crystals. Yeah. It's probably great for your eyes. A lot of people don't realize this. But yeah. A lot of crying actors, you know, people probably won Oscars, you know, off of a crying scene where really all that happened was a makeup artist came and they have this, this thing

where they blow air through. What is it? Oh yeah. Menfall crystals. And so it's literally blowing minty menfall air in directly into your eyes right before you shoot something. So you're just crying like a motherfucker because it really stings. Yeah.

No. This is amazing. That's how sometimes they get kids to cry. Yeah. Think about this listeners. Right. Right. They're literally taking children and blowing menthol crystals into their eye to get them

to cry. Yeah. People already don't like us out here in Hollywood. Speaking of abusing the children, the kids in this episode are fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. Their little performances, little because they're a little, but like the kid who gets like spiked on the back with the pen.

Yeah. He nails like the. That feeling. The realness of like getting nailed with that pen. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Flip flop kid, man. Flip flop. Flip flop. Amazing. Yeah. It makes me laugh so hard. I forgot. Yeah.

Basically like implying that like this kid is the one father figure this kid has ever had. Yeah. And you quickly crush his dreams. I'm not sure. Yeah. I remember that. We shot that basketball.

By the way, I think the direction of this episode is really good. Yeah. Dan Addeus again. Yeah. Like the coverage is good. And we shot that basketball sequence first up in the morning and you know, I had gotten a set and I'd had my breakfast burrito and a full like cup of coffee and got out and started running around and remember being like, I'm going to throw up all over these kids.

And yet you did some pretty extraordinary physical feats. Oh, that one shot is so great. Yeah. The one shot on that. I remember it was just continuous. Yeah. Where he throws the ball again. And then continuously comes back.

I'm trying to stuff that kid so hard. It was great. That felt good. Oh, of course. Yeah. It feels good to stuff somebody. And that was it. It's not like that was planned.

It's not like this was a well choreographed sequence. No. It was a total free for all. Yeah. Yeah. I think that we went and got an extra spiking shot where we're like, there's another shot where I spiked a cable. Like let's just get a close up like from low of me stuff and some.

Yeah. This is the first time I think maybe I'm maybe I'm incorrect. I think this is the first time we refer to Dee as a bird because I remember later on, you guys are talking about her as Larry Bird, but I say that she looks like big bird. Yeah. And this wasn't even the first time. Like this wasn't the beginning of us calling her a bird. The beginning of us calling her a bird was the Larry Bird joke in the serial killer episode

in season three. This just, it just happens to be a joke that happened a year before we sort of discovered that joke. Yes. Because she did. Because she did look like big bird. But that was based on, we remember us looking up, talking to costumes and like, we had a very specific idea in our head of like what this pants suit should look like and finding

pictures on the internet to show the wardrobe department to be like, this, this is the kind of pants suit that we're, you know, we wanted to wear. I love the. Was there a specific coach? Wasn't there a specific coach that, that used to wear pants suits like that or something? There was one of the most successful female coaches of all time. Her name is Pat. We'll have to look up.

Matt, can you, can you do a little research? I think she, her name was Pat. Her first name was Pat. Okay. She used to wear a good, a nice solid pants suit. Yeah. I think we used her as a reference. One color just top to bottom pants suit.

I feel like I remembered there being some discussion about that outfit. I mean, like, is this too cartoony? I don't remember. Yeah. Pat's summit. Pat's summit. Pat's summit. Pat's summit.

And are you finding pictures of Pat's summit and is she wearing a unicolor pants suit? Let's, let's have a look. Oh, yeah. There it is. I believe. Yeah, there's Pat. There it is. Good for her.

Yeah. Does it upset you guys to think about the fact that the kids that are in that episode are probably 35 years old now? Yeah. Yeah. That's disturbing. Yeah. They're maybe not that old, but they're probably, I mean, how old are they?

They're definitely in their mid to late twenties. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. Right. Cause they were 11. Let's say they were late twenties. Let's say they were 11 years old in 2000.

So yeah, they're, they're like 26, 27 years old now. Oh, sure. Sure. Wow. Hey, maybe this is interesting basketball. Huh? Rob, you used to play a lot of basketball, used to go to the Y. Oh, yeah.

That's actually true. Rob's a big basketball player. You did play basketball. I was not a good basketball player. Glenn, you played basketball too, right? We played every Saturday. We played every Saturday. Yeah.

With, with Chris Bacchus. Chris Bacchus has come up a number of times. We're going to, we're going to make sure we find a way to mention Chris Bacchus. We're going to bring him up. We have three single episodes. Do you miss it? Do you miss your basketball playing days? Do you have regrets?

Do you feel as though you could have accomplished more? Walk us through your playing days and uh. It was fun. I mean, yeah, it was like Saturdays. It was great. It was, it was actually something to look forward to. Cause like all week long we'd have like no auditions or maybe you'd get a little bit of audition and then there would be like nothing to do.

You think I'd work at the fucking restaurant? Glenn didn't. He'd be watching movies. Well, yeah. I had, I had a lot of that 80s show. If you guys are going head to head in a game of hoops, who's winning? Oh, I don't know. I mean, at this point I have no, I have no clue.

I don't. If I could outlast his body, his body cause he's got some back issues. Oh, no. Remember you fucked your ankle up. You rolled your ankle. That's why I stopped. Real bad one time. That's why I stopped.

Like straight to the emergency room. Shit. Correct. Who took any emergency room? I had to keep playing, man. No, no, no. I had a hand. No, I think I did.

I think you did take me to the emergency room. Thanks buddy. Yeah. Yeah. That was, yeah. We used to play. I was the same way. I really, really enjoyed that game.

It was super, super fun. We would all play and then a lot of times we'd go get brunch afterwards. Just a bunch of sweaty dudes. How long did you wait in that emergency room? Quite a while. I don't remember. God, I don't even remember. I think we went to, I don't even remember what emergency room we went to.

Yeah, I feel like we drove all the way to Cedar Sinai. I think we came back over the other side of the hill. Yeah, because we lived in West Hollywood. I think you took me to Cedar Sinai. And then Antriom. Oh, Antriom. You met us there? Yeah.

My girlfriend at the time. Yeah, but he probably went right in because I remember, we thought it was like broken. It was like his leg. Yeah, but they'll let you sit in the waiting room of the bro. You could have your foot dangling off your body and they're like, all right, take a seat. Right. Yeah, I don't remember it being that bad, but I do remember I came down. What happened was I went up for a layup and I came down on someone's foot and said, you

know, something that happens in basketball all the time and it was audible. Yeah. You could like, you could hear it. We thought it broke. You could hear it through the gym. We thought it broke. You were screaming. I remember like, it was, we're like, this guy fucking broke everything.

It was, I still shiver thinking about it. Like it traumatized me to the point where after that, even after it healed and was like totally healed, I was never the same again. I couldn't, I was never that great of a basketball player. But one thing I had going for me was I was fast and I was aggressive. And but I was never that skilled because I never, and I was, I was regretted never going to basketball camp. I had so many friends who went to basketball camp and they had the fundamentals or stuff.

Got better with that left hand. At the end of the day, it's a fucking tall man sport and we're not tall. So like there were a couple of guys there, a few guys there that could literally dunk back as being one of them. The other guy who you were friends with, he could dunk and like playing, I use an actor. Oh, Stephen. No, not Stephen. He was a tall guy.

He was on a bunch of TV shows too. He was like one of the working. Oh, Josh. Josh. Yeah. Right. And these guys could dunk. And we were like at the end of the day, it's like playing volleyball with a guy that's

six, seven. Like you're great. Yeah. There's no, there's no, you gotta have a shot. There's a lot of sports where height is definitely advantage and basketball, inarguably, is one, which is pretty much why I was like, I remember playing with our buddy, Michael Trotter, Trotter was shorter than me. He's like five, nine, five, 10, maybe.

He's an extreme outlier. Really good athlete, but also like he went to tons of basketball camps, right? So he, he had, he had great handles. Like he could really dribble the ball and I just never could do it. It's really sad too, because I mean, I literally, basketball was my favorite sport. I played it every single day growing up. I played so much basketball well into my mid to late twenties that it really makes no sense that I was not ever very good.

I'll tell you, if I recall correctly, the real reason we stopped, because I think you were 10, you, I think you came back and then we did, there, there were a couple of things that almost broke out or like literally holding guys back and we were like, what are we doing? So even in my early or we were in our mid twenties, I was like, I don't want to get into fist fights anymore. Like that's gone. But guys took it very seriously. And then it just kind of fell apart.

It was funny to see like the guys that would roll through too, because it was kind of, they were like actors and manager, like managers. I remember Aaron Paul rolled through at one point. This was like long before Breaking Bad. This is, we're talking 2002, 2003. I remember Aaron Paul rolling through. I remember Jared Palladecki. Is that how you pronounce his name?

The guy from Supernatural. That's right. He's tall. Super tall. Super tall. And very handsome. This is the kind of shit. Good basketball player, tall, handsome.

And I was like, I don't need this in my life. Maybe you feel bad about yourself. Maybe you feel bad about yourself. Yeah. Making sure you're small and ugly. And un-talented. And un-atlantic. Right.

And then they want to pick a fight with me and I got to run out of there because they'll kick my fucking ass. I lose in every way. No, no, no. No, you were pretty scrappy. No, no. You're pretty scrappy when it came to fighting. But you remember, you remember.

I put my money on you in that fight. Yeah, me too. All day. All day. Well, I don't know. That anger. Glad. We'll do a side bet.

We'll bet again. Yeah, definitely. We did a whole episode about that. Yeah. Do you remember the Baldwin brothers showing up? Yes. Daniel Baldwin. Which do?

Yeah. Not Stephen, not Alec. Daniel and Billy. Billy. Billy's great. Okay. Yeah. Billy's nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I kind of knew Billy a little bit. Which one is the one in usual suspects? That's Stephen. That's Stephen. I sat next to Stephen Baldwin on Southwest airline flight to Las Vegas. I got a middle seat and I was jammed between like Stephen Baldwin and his like parole officer or something.

Or it's like, it's like sober coach or something. You guys were all in coach? We were. Well, that's Southwest. I don't think it's all. I don't think there is a first class in Southwest. I'm not going to waste the money. I'm just flying to Las Vegas.

Yeah, of course. What year are we talking about here? This is recently. This is like five years ago. We're going to take a private jet to Vegas just to go take it. Yeah. Listen, I think that's what the fans expect. You know, I think they think that that's the lifestyle.

Sure. They're watching episodes like this and they're like, these guys got private jets. These guys. This is a private jet. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. We don't.

We don't. We don't. I didn't get the best seat. I didn't even get the best Baldwin. Charlie, did you ever play basketball? The way you stuffed those kids certainly seemed to imply that you did. Sure. Yeah.

I mean, in my neighborhood, you played every sport, right? You just started with my buddies and then we played plenty of basketball, but I was never any good at it. Terrible at it. I would say that Charlie is definitely the most athletic out of the three of us, which I think people, I don't know if the people find that hard to believe, but they're like, like when people play certain sports with you, they are surprised by how good you are at them.

Like you're a natural. You can swing something. I like to fly. I feel as though it flusters people, which I enjoy, you know, or they're like, why can't I drive a golf ball for this guy? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. That is true.

Golf and baseball, for sure. You've got the advantage. So we've been on ice. Yeah. We've been on ice on the third show, and I had to go out there and learn how to skate and I looked terrible and I'm like, I'm trying to, and then we would just fuck around and Charlie could, it just picked it right back up. I was just, I was into sports.

I played a shitload of sports. We could beat him at Ping Pong. We could beat him at Ping Pong, though. You guys could be, that you could. I'm terrible at a racket sport. Really? Yeah, but the angles don't make, and I also want to like hit something as hard as I can and have it go as far as I can and, right, but, you want to bash it, but, I remember

watching the Boggs episode, which we'll talk about at some point, but we're obviously on a, on a field there. And I, you know, you don't usually see yourself on camera throwing something. You just think, oh, you can, I can, I can throw a ball, right from, from the mound to the plate. And I remember watching it on camera and being like, is that the way I throw? And you guys being like, yes, I'm like, oh, that is so unathletic. And, but then when you took a cut, like you swung the ball, I remember, I mean, being

like, this doesn't even make any sense. He's supposed to be hammered. And why would Charlie Kelly know how to hit that well? It looked like a, like a, like a true baseball player's swing. Well, he played. Yeah. Well, of course. He played a little league or whatever.

Were you throwing with your dominant hand or was that a camera angle thing where we're like, Rob, you're going to have to throw this one with your right hand because we're, no, I was throwing with my dominant hand. We should go back. We'll talk about that when we go to box. You're a little bit ambidextrous though, which hand do you throw with? I throw with my left. You've made great strides in golf, I will say.

When we first started playing, I was like, well, it's, you know, it won't be his thing and you've gotten quite good. Yeah. You've gotten quite good. Glenn, we will eagerly await you, you know, your presence. I'll get there. I'll get there. I'll get there.

Come join us. Join us on dogs and, you know, now come around on golf eventually. All right. Well, I'm sure we're thrilling the audience here. Should we talk about something more salacious? Sure. Sure. Let's, well, you know, we probably could not make this episode in this day and age.

We could probably not make the joke where you're only picking the black kids for your basketball team. I don't know. I think I get away with that. I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's the characters stereotyping.

Look, I agree. Yes. right now, we're living in a place where we're like, well, this is just highly inappropriate and... I think we would just take a look at it and say, well, what's the best way to make clear that this is the terrible characters making this choice and not the show itself.

Like the casual, like that's where we get and I think some issues with previous episodes where it's, we're doing it what's seemingly casual, like as a show, where it was like, you know, when we're just using slurs or whatever and not calling them out. Yeah. And I think this episode's okay in that, I think.

Yeah, I think so too. The Asian stuff is dicey. No, yeah. But it's not that. He just said that he was in Vietnam and that he has a gambling addiction. So these are- Yeah, and these are his gambling buddies.

These are not saying everyone from Vietnam is that way. We're just saying that his buddies are that way. Yeah. Yeah. But I know what you mean. Yeah, you could be a little dicey here and there. We established in this episode that the waitress is an alcoholic.

Yeah. Which is another thing that we had established in this episode. By the way, gotta do a shout out for my buddy, Patrick Hallahan, who plays the AA. What do you call the person who leads the meeting? The meeting leader? I don't even know.

Sure. I don't know. Cause I'm not an, well. Oh, yeah. So what do you guys think? Are you alcoholics? Yes. I think, look, I've taken a really good long look at it.

And you know, as we, oh no, I'm not currently not drinking, but I think- Well, that's supposed to be anonymous. I think I have tendencies, but I actually don't think I am an alcoholic. I think an actual alcoholic literally has no control over it, like cannot stop. And I-

I don't know that that's how AA defines it. When I want to stop, I can just stop. You can just stop. And I think that's a, like a, I don't fixate on it. It's a common theme among the alcoholics. I can stop whenever I want. Yeah. But only, only they can't.

Yeah. I think dependency is the, is the key, but I think like AA specifically, or even just- Well, it's also an obsession with it, right? Like, so if you're, if every night you're like, okay, I'm not going to have a drink tonight. And you actually don't. Yeah.

Just the fact that you're thinking about it and making a working on it. The fact that you're thinking about it, yes. And that you're having to make that very conscious, you know, decision to not have a drink. Well, I do a lot of rationalization around it. So it's like, yeah, like it's a, it's something I think about, right?

So like I have family members who drank themselves to death. I mean, literally to death, like sclerosis, right? But then you'd find out like, oh, he would wake up every day and he would start his day in the morning with a drink. Right. And not stop until he went to sleep. Right.

So I would see that and then, and then I go, oh, well, I'm not that. I have one Manhattan every night. Yeah. But if I don't, I'm like, I'm like, kind of have that Manhattan. Okay, got to get that Manhattan. Yeah, but one, the fact that you can have one,

that's like, I don't know, that, sure, that's a habit, not an addiction, I think. Alcoholism light. Alcoholism light, I think, if that's a term, I'm sure that isn't. If you're spending your entire day thinking about that Manhattan. I don't.

Yeah, that's a different thing. Yeah, because you know you're gonna have it. Yes. But sometimes, okay, this is a bad sign. Sometimes I'll say to myself, well, let's just not have one tonight. And then when I get to that point, I'm like, well, I'll just have one.

Just one. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It's just one. Well, you're addicted to one Manhattan. I don't think that's so bad. No, it's not the worst thing to will.

That's okay. It's so good. Yeah. But if you said you want to have a Manhattan right now, I have no interest. Well, that's good. That means that I'd say. Whereas with smoking, I know some people

that can just have a couple of cigarettes from time to time. I was always that way. Yeah, you were that way. That was incredible. I never could do that. No, but like when you were smoking and I was smoking, and we were like, you know what, let's do the podcast, but let's just, can we make this a smoking room?

Yeah. We would just be hacking butts in here. Yeah. I wouldn't be having that. I mean, I haven't had a cigarette in a long time. Almost 20 years, but like, wow. I have. Yeah.

Yeah. But I can just have one on the rare occasion. I just have like one. And it's great. Yeah. I wish I could do that. I probably could, but you probably could. At this point, I was like, why bother?

Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing. I think the pandemic has probably not done a lot of us too many favors with regard to alcohol. Drinking, yeah, alcohol abuse. The scam damage, just a total scam by the alcohol companies trying to drink more, man.

It worked. It worked. It sure did, boy. Sure did. It was funny because there was a time where, because I never used to drink at home really, which may be a surprise to people. You probably assume that I drink all the time, but I don't.

I used to almost never, almost never drink at home. It made no sense to me. I made no sense to me ever. I was one of those people like, wouldn't drink all week. And then I'd go out on Friday night. Me too. And get absolutely hammered. Me too.

That's what I would do too. Yeah. I never, but Monday through Friday, well, I remember Monday through Thursday or Sunday through Thursday. No, look, when you and I lived together, we would never drink during the week. Never at all.

I don't even know that we even kept beer in the fridge. Maybe? I know. But then Friday night, we'd just go get blackout drunk. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I'd make up for it over the weekend, by getting absolutely hammered.

But yeah, it wasn't like a, and then, you know, and drinking was always like, it was like a special. And social. Yeah, it was a social thing. But that's when it got weird for me. It was like, over the pandemic, I started them like, let me just have a glass of whiskey.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And it was nice. Loose, you know, put the kids to bed. You're kind of loose. A little more giggly than usual, just whatever. And then I remember there being like almost a switch where I was like, I would have a drink and just,

and I'd be like, I'd be like, just made me tired. And I'm like, why isn't this fun anymore? And it was somebody. Because I gotta have two. That'll make it fun. Yeah, because, yeah. By the way, that is what would happen. I would have, I'd be like, well, the second one,

that'll get me going. And then I'd just be more tired and irritated. Yeah, yeah, you're not able to get that dopamine rush because you're doing it all the time. Well, and also, but I think it also isn't, somebody had to point this out. I was like, I don't know why it just, it doesn't feel the same.

And they were like, yeah, because you used to drink socially. Now you're just drinking. Yeah. Not socially. You're just, you're just, it's just your kids are screaming and you're drinking. Yeah. And it's now, it's making you irritated.

And I'm like, oh yeah, that is what's happening. I just got to the point where I'm like, my body and my life was like, that's what, I can't like, I have a couple beers every night for the rest of my life, what am I doing? It's not, you are serving me. You love beer. I love beer.

That's your thing. So you would drink beer, so yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's a high calorie alcohol habit. It's a high, sure. I don't really care about that. But it's a lot of liquid. Yeah, sure.

I'm not suggesting, but it's like, it's more of a commitment. Like I can drink a Manhattan in like, I think like 10 minutes. See, but then that would, I would be like, well, I need something to be sipping on now. Yeah. Just for the habit of it.

That's the good thing about a beer is it lasts longer. Cause if you drink fast, you know. That's true. Yeah. I love alcohol. I mean, I just do. Yeah. So man, maybe you are an alcoholic.

Yeah. I said, I'd said yes. He had said it right off the bat. He said that he was. Yeah. Yeah, I said yes. It hasn't ruined my life. All signs are pointing towards things continuing.

Not yet. It takes one decision to get behind that wheel. 100%. I'm very careful about that. Oh yeah. I drink and drive. No, that's the best thing about Uber. That is like a saving lives left and right.

Guys, this episode brought to you by Honda. Honda. Honda. Honda. Honda. Honda. Have you guys ever done community service? Yes.

Me too. Yep. Oh boy. Really? Yeah. Sure. Interesting. Yeah.

What did you have to do a community service for, Charlie? What did you do? I got busted drinking. So. Alcohol. Yeah, yeah. I definitely have been an alcoholic in periods of my life, for sure.

But I was 20, 20, I was 20 years old. And I was with a pack of other 20-year-olds. And cops busted in this party. And they're like, all right, someone just snitch. Who bought the beer? And we'll let you go. And we're not a bunch of fucking snitches. So nobody said shit.

And they arrested us all. And we got to slap on the wrist how to do community service. How many hours do you remember? I don't recall. I don't even really recall what I did for the community service. You don't remember what you did? No. Must not have meant that much to you.

Sure did. You did something for the community. Sure did it. Rob, what did you? A couple of times. But it was all similar things, like stupid, disturbing the peace, and drunkenness, and bad boys. Like a high school.

And high, right, great. No, no, no, no. Assault. You have disturbed the peace. Here we are. Peace, please. It's disturbed us. Peaceful city of Philadelphia.

And you're disturbing it. We've been disturbed. I'm not that mad. What did you have to do for community service? Pick up trash on the side of the road. Did they give you a choice, or did they assign you something? I don't remember. I think maybe, yeah, maybe that they were like, well,

you can either do this or either do that or something. I remember at one point, in New Jersey, they gave you, you could either pay a fine or do the service. And then there was a class action lawsuit against New Jersey, and they got eradicated. Yeah, because people who were with money could just be like, all right, fuck it, I'll just pay. Yeah.

Right? I mean, that's not fair. You're not doing a service to the community that way. Let's get this guy who's disturbing the peace to do a service for the community. Yes. I made an extremely bad error in judgment when I was going to college down in Miami, Florida.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Arguably, out of the three of us, what you did could have got you into more trouble than us. Even though we all, oh, go ahead, you tell the story. Well, I mean, so yeah, I tried to get a fake driver's license from the DMV down in Miami. And they took that very, very seriously.

And I was actually charged with, this is crazy to think about, I was charged with four felonies. So technically, I have four felonies on my record. Now, I got expunged because I was a first time offender. So they were lenient. But I don't think I could join the FBI. You know what I mean? So on a regular background check, it wouldn't come up.

At this point. Because we all had, everybody's got a fake ID, or at least we all had fake IDs at one point, but they were actually fake. Or you'd get somebody else's documentation. But when you go in and try to pretend to be somebody else to get actual government-issued legal documents, that is, well, it's a felony.

It was a serious, serious offense. Every time I signed my name, they had me sign my name four times. And for every signature was a felony. They threw the book at me. Florida does not fuck around. Yeah, they're not really known for crime in Florida. Not really, no, no. There's a pretty peaceful, well-adjusted people

that live in Florida. Wait, well, wait, wait, hold on. I'm just making my community service. No, my community service. So I remember them giving me a giant list of choices. And for some reason, I don't know why I chose this. I just thought it would be interesting. I'm like, well, if I'm going to do it,

I want it to be something interesting, not something mindless. So I was actually an assistant English teacher. I would drive to this high school, which at night became a night school. And there were a bunch of Haitian immigrants that were there trying to learn English. And I was teaching them how to speak English.

Oh, they're like, give them the felon. What? I mean, that is what. Florida is the craziest place. Florida is the craziest place ever. Yeah. This guy's stealing people's identities, potentially. Let's introduce him to a room full of new immigrants.

That's fucking nuts. Yeah. And I don't speak. It's not like I speak French. So I couldn't. But most of them spoke well enough to where I could communicate with them. They didn't need it.

But I wasn't the teacher. I was like the teacher's assistant. So I was their assistant. But it was a lot. I did like 80 hours of that. And you were a felon. It was, yeah. Well, there's three striking examples of white privilege.

100. That's literally what I was thinking about as we were talking about. Same. It's not about how fun it is to get arrested. It's so fun that they just sip you on the wrist. They give you the community service. My experience was not fun, guys.

There's much more to my story. There's much more to my story where I was in jail. I was in fucking prison. It was horrible. It was horrible. I did not feel privileged at that particular moment in my life. But yeah, considering the final result,

there's probably some privilege there, for sure. Well, see you on the next one. Yeah. I mean, that's another good one. That's a good one. Or is it? Or a bad one? I don't know.

I guess this is the creative process. You know, we just try these podcasts. And sometimes they work. Sometimes they don't. Yeah. I guess let's go get a drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.