The Always Sunny Podcast - The Guys Take Some Calls

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

I feel like I’m watching my fun drunk uncles.

I'm noticing that you and I have a similar look today. We do and we don't you you have like sort of the buttons of a p-coat on a flannel shirt Which I find very strange Yeah, you throw them by the button. I like the button. It's something that's something different Well, I guess I guess I'm a little confused as to whether it's a shirt or a jacket and by the way, that's fine. Yeah That's fine. I'm okay with that. It's sort of a shacket or a jerk Right Who makes that? Who makes that? This is a company called Hartel

Which is a friend of mine. We're not doing plugs. No, not doing plugs. He's a friend of mine I will Johnny Hartel. I will say that I just this morning there were two more of these buttons here and here they both came No, I ripped them off. They're in my office right now Why did you rip your sleep buttons off? Because I noticed what I was doing on my desk. It kept clicking and clacking And then I thought I just ripped them off. Yeah in a rage. I can bring him in. No calmly at scissors You just pull them right off. I just pulled them off. I just pop them out of it. It's not that. Oh You're I could rip the red. You're hot off

No, because that's what you're going for you're going for a shipwreck look That's why you have the one the one remaining button. You know how Hartel shipwreck jerk a shipwreck jerk. Yeah, all right launch into your thing What do you got today? We're going to the phones. We're gonna go to the phones live today. We're gonna do something special We're gonna go to the phones for hot takes. We're gonna get hot takes from people and we're gonna we're gonna just talk to people This is very exciting Megan. What are we doing today? Yeah, we're gonna take some random callers I got you guys a 1-800 number and so we're just gonna tweet it out Whatever moron has off from work today We're gonna get your hot take you can talk to us about

You know talk to us about coven your cure for coven you might have and we will spread that misinformation What's your hot take whoopie Goldberg should she have been suspended? Yes or no? What's the hot take here? You got to take on the holocaust That's not gonna pan out. Well Okay You know what I'm sad though as I don't have I want those like the operator boards, you know with the plugs that I have to like unplug and plug. Oh, I know I know That'd be cool. That'd be cool. Yeah, your arm would get tired. Those things are those things were amazing Many an operator died of arm arm exhaustion. Oh, right

We're brought to you by Adderall Landlines people landlines taking a wild guess who might be calling picking up the phone and answering We're just gonna tweet. We're gonna. All right. Let's fire the number out. All right. I'm not fast Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait before oh wait before you send it. Don't send anything So fast I could how could I even have possibly sent it? I am so I'm ready to send. Oh my god Here's a question though because this could be fun Should we but what should we all do it at the same exact time and then see?

Who's who saw it where first the first caller saw it on? Charlie's or Glenn's or Rob's feed. I don't know just to add an extra Game yeah, that does all right fine. I'm ready to press okay I'm gonna push okay, but I haven't pushed share yet. Wait. Oh cuz you're going to a story I think the story I'm on a post. Oh, okay. You go. Why don't we do this? Why don't you go post you go? Story and I'm already in the post. I'm pop. I'm pushing the button. Let's go. Let's go I'm gonna put in my story now. It's gonna be really sad by the way What if we just sit here in silence for like 20 that's that that's the kind of thing that the person always says and then you

Know all of a sudden like they have too much pizza. They're like well What if this machine doesn't make enough pizza and then they're buried in pizza? That's what the person made under pizza says I'm really nervous about this is gonna require me to talk cuz I have to pick up the phone and say hello to people You're already talking talking right now. You got it down. You got it down I'm you're also doing a story. I'm I'm doing a story here guys Just cuz what's the story? I just put call this number. Now. We're taking calls for the on the podcast for real Should I put for real? Share your story, which will be oh, well, I have to tag you in order to do that. Oh, no, I already pushed the

It's fine. It's fine. Shit to shit Damn it. Oh I can't this is this is really interesting. I I rage a lot in my life. I don't know why I Yeah, I get very frustrated I get very frustrated about things and I rage but it's been really interesting because you know This is something I don't like about myself and I want to fix it But I haven't been able to address it yet or figure out how to fix it yet nor have I tried Um, but you know, as you know, I broke my collarbone two weeks ago

It's getting better. Thanks for asking And and and tweaked my more about your collarbone No, and I can't wait to hear so I can't rage Oh, you can't rage because it's because when I scream or rage or get angry When I will express myself physically or vocally I can't because it hurts my my collarbone or my back or both usually both right but the but so I'm like you lean into that it might be even funnier because then you have rage against your shoulder and back right body Yeah, and I'm like

Yeah, just a feedback loop. Yeah, which will be very funny for us. Hey guys, we've got collars I don't see a phone. So that's so we're gonna hear them in our the internet Through the internet Let's get them let's get that first collar any minute now the first-ever collar on the only sunny podcast Yeah, this is exciting. I've never talked to a fan before I don't Yeah, you don't talk to a fan. Yeah, I don't really leave my house. Yeah, no, I'm joking. Of course I have Answer phone answer. Thank you for calling the always sunny podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. Hello Hello, who is this? All right, Stan. You're our first caller first caller. Oh my god. I saw Rob tweet now. What's your name?

My name's Mandy. Mandy you have just made my day. Yeah God bless you Mandy. We didn't know whose tweet would get seen first or text or post So Rob is the winner of our little game Mandy you're the big winner today What do you tell us where you where you're from? I'm from like the Detroit area in Michigan. No, you know what I noticed about Detroit I know a lot of people from Detroit, but they're actually not from Detroit They all say I'm from the greater Detroit area. Yeah, I find that very Detroit has a lot of areas

Yeah, what what area was because everybody left actual Detroit. Yeah All right, Mandy, what's your hot take what you got today? What do you want to talk to us about something? Go ahead go? Oh my god, I have no idea. That's that's fine. Yeah, that's that's fully expect you dialed in a frenzy You just you just you just called nine Yeah, I get listen we start the podcast every day with this exact same dilemma. What are we gonna do? What do we I have nothing to say? You know what I mean? So what do you do for a living? You have a job? Yeah, I work at Panera Bread this episode's brought to you by Panera Bread

I like that Fuji Apple Salad chicken salad. I do. Are you at Panera as we speak like in the back room? No, no, thank God. I don't work today. Okay, wait Mandy Can I ask you a question about the Fuji Apple chicken salad that I've had many times from Panera Bread? Here's my here's my question for you Mandy Did they at some point go from putting fresh Fuji apples in the salad to putting dried apples in the Fuji Apple Salad because I Hadn't had one in a long time and I had one not too long ago And it wasn't fresh apples in there anymore. It was dried apples. What's going on there Mandy?

Well damn, um, do you know what I'm talking about? I've I've worked there for about five years. I think we've always used dried apple chips Always? Unless in LA they're using fresh ones. Oh, well, that could be that could be a Detroit area. They're drying their apples. Right. So Mandy, when did you start watching? It's always sunny in Philadelphia Um My god, it was a long time ago. It was right after I watched horrible bosses. Nice. I was like I like the Charlie guy And I gotta see what he does. Right. What else does that guy do? Yeah Now that was that was a long yeah, that was a long time ago, but it was also like a

In like season eight of the show at the time How do you mind if I ask how old you are Mandy? 23 So you started young started watching young Okay, I was about to boot you right out of here. Wait a second Mandy. What did you think about coffee town? I Don't I actually have seen it, but it is on my letterbox list to watch it You can skip it man, man, do you have a great day in the Detroit? Oh, you got something else? Let's go hop Take I was just gonna say I'm so glad that you guys are recording it

It's like it's been so fun to watch it. I like I keep tweeting it I Feel like I'm like watching my fun drunk uncle's like I've always wanted to be somebody's fun drunk Someone's fun But it's a good suggestion and we're gonna take that we have lots of callers though Mandy and you're the first tip of the Mountain so thank you for calling and and we're gonna move on good luck a banana bread and thanks for watching the show Oh, thank you guys. Bye, Mandy. Bye, Mandy

Okay, an era bread banana bread. I think I said Banana bread which good luck there at working at the banana bread company Good luck with the dried apples. That was nice. I like to hear from I swear to God They used to have fresh Fuji apples on those salads. I swear to God like Yeah, well this will get more interesting as listeners sort of start to hear that I want every one I want I hope that everyone who calls in works at Panera bread Question I just think that'd be interesting. I want somebody to come in with a hot take. Oh, here we go Welcome to the always sunny podcast you're on with Rob. Charlie and Glenn

What do you got? Hi? Hi? Who we split who we speaking with today? My name's Caitlyn. Hi, Caitlyn. Caitlyn. Are you married to Rob back Lenny? I Wish you were married to Rob Macklehenny. I To be honest, I wish that Rob and Caitlyn were my parents Where people's uncles or parents now, yeah, we're no longer peers. Yeah, you're far too old for What area of the world are you calling us from today? I'm in Wisconsin. Yes

The Midwest calling in representing now, do you have any sort of Things to ask us. You got any hot takes you want to take any I'm keeping it going. I'm keeping it. I'm keeping the energy up. Well, what's Caitlyn did talk to us? Um, oh God, I don't oh man I will say just to press this everything right now. I am Currently recovering from brain surgery. Wow All over the place right now. Okay, so your brain your brain is it's still healing It is yeah. Yeah, I just got some of brain surgery a few days ago

I guess maybe do you guys have any recommendations for I have been rewatching a lot of sunny lately Do you have any recommendations for rewatches in this particular situation? Great question. That is a very good always fun to rewatch Game of Thrones if you've only seen that once or not I'm not at all that she's talking about episode I know that but I'm saying you don't worry about that No, no, you can do that do that also. Yeah, I'm just giving you recommendations for other shows to watch to help your brain heal Yeah, we are not normally Recommended for brain growth, but I think you know if you were there's flowers for Charlie is all about

gaining some intelligence and good for a laugh Did you ever read the book flowers for our Algernon in school? No, I did not But I am familiar with the episode or maybe you have and you don't remember it. Uh-oh I'm assuming that the surgery went well, but she did you say it was just a couple of days ago? Oh Yeah, it's about a week ago now. Oh, that's Part of it is the speech part is yeah, and the and you dialed on the phone and you're on social media Okay, so so Caitlin what's going on with your brain? Why did you have to have brain surgery? I?

Went in because I had a really severe migraine and then they did some imaging on me and they found out that I I a couple of my arteries like in the back of my head were dissecting So they had to put a couple of stents in so that was really fun Wow, are they happy with the work? Are they feeling that it was a successful operation? What were you told they? Yeah, they are they are yeah, I'm on a bunch of blood centers right now, so Oh, you sound great Caitlin. You're a modern miracle. Yeah, okay. Did they did they have to shave your head and all that? No, it's oh my god. I can't believe I'm talking to you guys right now with the ear

They went through like my leg With your brain surgery Yeah, they went through my leg now. Did you go see a doctor that knows that your brain's not in your leg? I just want to be sure what the doctors in Wisconsin doing. Yeah. Did you go to Joe Rogan for their surgery? They're so filled with cheese in Wisconsin that they think that your brain is in your leg. Is that right Caitlin? I have maybe I should have called into the Joe Rogan podcast Yeah, this is amazing congratulations. Yeah, you sound like a bad motherfucker. Yeah. Yeah one week later after brain surgery You're calling in this dumbass show Caitlin. Well done. We're happy. It was been good talking to you

We have a whole line of callers. We got to get to thank you for calling. Thank you for watching the show Good luck with your brain and your blood Thank you so much. I love you guys. I've been obsessed with the show for years. It's been such a huge part of my life So sincerely, thank you. Have a great recovery. You're sweet. Thank you Caitlin. Thank you so much. I'm happy it all worked out for you. All right, bye. Awesome. That's the kind of stuff that's gonna happen, you know, it's gonna be two young women. I know. I'm surprised. Well, we have a large female audience. It's too young, like 23, and Caitlin's just on over here. Yeah, I think maybe at some point maybe we were like, you know, sexy young guys to now we're just like Drunk uncles and parents and uncles and parents. It's like, oh, it's like listen to my parents like that's what's gonna be a lot of calls today

People like it's like watching your shows like listening to my parents bicker Welcome to the always sunny podcast you're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. That's true. You are. What do you want? Yeah, who is the stage your business? This is Xander and my business is asking you questions. Oh, Xander, welcome to the hotline. Are you, do you spell that with an X at the beginning or Z? You spell that however you want to spell that. No, no, I want to know how you spell it. How does Xander spell it? With an X, I guess. Yeah, that's all.

You guess? I think Xander's giving us a false name. Xander, where are you from? Are you from this planet or how do you where exactly? What planet are you from, Xander? And is it Xander? Is it like Xander? Or is it just a Xander? Straight up Xander. Are you a Xandarian? I'm from Mars. All right, Xander from Mars on the line. Xander, go ahead and ask us some questions. Yeah, what do you want to know?

What do you got, buddy? Hey, I want to know, this is something I've been wondering for like a while. I want to know if you would ever do an episode where there's like a normal McPoyle. You know how the McPoyles are all like fucked up and shit? What if there is an episode where there's just like a normal McPoyle? Like, there's nothing wrong with this McPoyle. Like, you don't even know it's a McPoyle at first. Right.

And then you find out it's McPoyle. We kind of did that. We kind of did that. We did that. Yeah, in the Invincible episode. Doyle. Doyle McPoyle is just like a tough football guy. And we don't know that he's a football. We don't know that he's McPoyle.

And then it's revealed that he's McPoyle. I know what you're saying. But you're saying a little more buttoned up of a kind of a character. Or like somebody comes in. Like Ryan Reynolds comes in. You know what? We pitched that for the Ireland episode just here. That Caitlin was going to be dating a guy.

An Irish doctor who's like super handsome. An Irish doctor and she finds out that it's McPoyle. So yeah, Xander, you're dead on. Xander, you're on to something. No, do you need a job in the writer's room? Xander, where do you live when you're not on Mars? Hey, I'm in Birmingham, Alabama. Oh, Red Shadow, Birmingham.

Birmingham, the coolest city in Alabama. Glenn, you spent a lot of time in Birmingham. Well, Montgomery, but I've spent quite a bit of time in Birmingham. Close enough. Close enough. Now Xander, how old are you? 23. Look at these.

Are you currently employed? Yeah. There's a long gap. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do, Xander? He's 23. So he's fighting his way, my guess is. What do you do?

23. I work at Amazon. Yeah, he's fighting his way. He's fighting his way. But this is interesting because now we have somebody from, I think there's a common misconception that our audience is like coastal or college towns. We're massive.

Now this is Birmingham, Wisconsin and outside in rural Michigan. Fascinating. Yeah. We're learning things. We're all over the place. All right. We're all over the place. Xander, thank you for calling in and thank you for your,

your good question about the show. We appreciate that. And thank you for your service at Amazon. Do they have you pissing in bottles when you're, when you're shipping shit or what? What do we got? Yeah, all the time. Yeah.

God bless you. Goodbye. All right. Have a good day. Thank you. Bye. All right. Who's our next guy?

Well, we, guys, it's, you know, fans, which is good, but, but I think we're going to need to. Just a crazy, just a straight up crazy person. I would prefer. Yeah. That's what you want. I do want us crazy person to go. But no, I think it'd be, well, no one knows what to expect.

Let's put a lunatic through it. We can find, we can find through this process. What is that we're looking for? Right. From the audience and say like, Hey, we want your hot take. Like bring us a hot take. Yeah. You know, maybe we want that.

Maybe we don't, we don't even know. We don't know. We don't know. It might happen organically. Somebody might just, just, we're learning. We're learning as we go. Yeah. I love it.

I love it. Let's take another call. Yeah. Okay. Waiting for that. We've got thousands of calls, by the way. Okay. This is cool.

Okay. Wow. I wonder if there are going to be any other Zandarias. Is there a screening process for this? Are they just putting through any? Yes. I have two people screening the calls right now. Megan gave us the whole rundown.

Yeah. You weren't listening. Yeah. But the listener. Welcome to the always sunny podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. Fucking dick. Sorry.

Not you caller. I wasn't calling you a dick. Yeah. You're on the line here. Who are we speaking to? This is Eddie Lowe from Long Island, New York. Eddie Lowe. Hey, what's going on?

Hey, what the fuck? Hey, what part of Long Island are you from, Eddie? It's always in our head. You know, it's pretty. Apart where they don't have cell service. Now, Eddie, are you calling us from a landline on a fishing boat? What do you got, Eddie? You got a question?

You got a question? You got any questions for us, Eddie? Is it something you want to chat about? Yeah. I just wanted to say, you know, I friggin love you guys. I've probably seen the show, you know, every season, 100 times. I'm like obsessed, man. Well, that's awesome.

Well, look, I got a question for you then, Eddie. Yeah. You know, what do you think about Whoopi Goldberg? Whoopi? Whoopi Goldberg. There we go. Whoopi. Whoopi Goldberg.

No. I thought you meant Whoopi Goldberg. Now, Eddie, on a scale of one to ten, one being sober and ten being like stoned as hell, where are you on the spectrum right now? Well, I'm kind of on a permanent stone. Yeah. All right. Okay.

I can feel that. That's great. Now, how much have we smoked? Have we? Are you eating? Are we eating? Are we consuming it? Are you eating it or smoking it?

I smoke. I like it with the straight up, you know, I like to see the buds. You know, old school. Old school. Old school. You have a ritual. I didn't smoke yesterday. You like the ceremony.

Are you in your, what age range? How old are you? I'm just turning 30 this year. Oh, congratulations. All right. Welcome to adulthood. It's a dark time for me. Yeah.

I'm just fucking around. It's fine. All right, Eddie. It's quick and a joke in my mind. All right, Eddie, we have thousands of callers today, so we're going to move on. Enjoy your high thanks for calling in and we're going to go to the next call, I think. God bless you, Eddie. Thanks for watching the show, Eddie.

I love you, man. Love you, man. Thanks for watching. Thanks for watching. Are you guys having fun? Yeah. We're hearing from, we're hearing from fans of the show. It feels very good.

It's pretty cool. We don't really hear from fan. We don't really hear. I mean, maybe just walking around. Certainly don't just talk to fans on the phone. I like this phone ring sound. You too. I need that.

We have a podcast around with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. Hey. What's going on over there? Oh, my God. Yes. Hi, Megan. Hi. The Megan fan.

All right. All right. You spoke directly to Megan. Who are we speaking with today? I love Megan. So do we. So do we. Why do you ask Megan a question?

Because she loves to talk. But she hasn't been able to because we just talk over her. First of all, who are we speaking with today? I'm Daniela. Hey, Daniela. I'm on the Twitter. I called us from the shitter. Are you on the shitter?

Wow. Okay. Cool. Are you actually taking a shit? Are you taking a shit? Are you being? No, I'm taking a shit. That is amazing.

That is amazing. Is it a good one? Are you hydrated? Or is it coming out runny? Is it immense? Right. Do you have to wipe a thousand times or is nothing going to come out? Is it going okay?

It's one of those where you like sit down and then you kind of like get bored and you're just like there and then I called in and I was like, no way. You're going to have to coax it out. You're going to have to coax it out. Well, if you need to stop to push your grunt, that's fine. Yeah. It's all helpless. I'm sorry.

I missed the first part. Has any has any been exported yet? Just like a little, little, little, little dot. Nuggets. Nuggets. But you're looking for... Right. She's getting the little dots out.

She's getting milk duds and she wants a full Snickers bar. I'm sensing a hydration problem here. Yeah. I'm going to suggest that most... This is morning. This is morning. I got to warm up. All right.

All right. Okay. This is the first one. Don't hurt yourself. She's popping the cork. Sometimes this happens, right? The first shit of the day. Yeah.

I think y'all really... All right. She had a question for Megan. No, it went into her retreat. It went into hiding. It went into hiding. It got scared. It got scared.

Your butt got scared. Now, why is it a morning poop for you? Where are you calling us from? Yeah. Are you in Hawaii? I'm calling from Arizona. Okay. It's not...

It's kind of not late. That's a young person's morning. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're old. We're up at seven with the kids. Yeah. What's your question for Megan?

Because Megan... Yeah. Megan deserves a question. You can ask her anything and she will tell you. Okay. Megan, have you done your bowel movement for the day? This is amazing. This is wild.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't bring anything into this room other than enthusiasm for these guys. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. You can't have poop in your body and do a podcast. I feel incredible work ethic.

Thank you. You have been so lucky to have her. Yeah. We agree. We agree. I have a follow-up question. Megan, which podcast did you call into while you were doing your bowel movement? Yeah.

Who do you usually call? Yeah. I don't know. I keep it to myself. Okay. Yeah. That's fair. Okay.

Well, listen. We hope that you can get a nice full Snickers bar worth of poop out. Yeah. We hope you have a full evacuation. You know what I mean? A complete elimination. Yeah. Thank you guys.

Y'all made my day. Y'all, like, and then it's just started. This was fantastic. All right. Well, enjoy your bowel movement. And thanks for calling us Sunday Podcast. Thank you. All right.

All right. Have a good one. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I love that she left laughing. Now see, that's the kind of stuff she left laughing.

It's fun. That's great. She left laughing. She brought in a bed. Do you think she's really pooping? I don't think she's really pooping. I do. You think she really was?

I think she was. She put a joke out there and then they're like, oh, I got to stick with it. Maybe. Maybe. I thought that was a guy. I thought that, you know, I don't know. I think she might have been. She might have been.

She might have sat down. I'm choosing to believe she was. She sat down in the toilet. I was like, oh, I'm going to call this thing. She's like, oh, I'm getting this. Well, yeah. She was checking her Instagram, which people often do on the show. On the toilet.

And she saw our post. There may be a fair. The only time I think I ever look at social media is when I'm on the toilet. This person could be on the toilet as well. All right. Welcome to the Always Sunny podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. Are you on the shutter?

Who do we have right now? Who's speaking? You know, I was actually waiting. I just finished. Okay. This is going to happen more often than we think. Okay. That's it.

Because that's when people are looking at their phone. They're on the shutter. Did it go well for you? Did you have a good movement? Well, once, once I got the call or once they picked up saying that I'll get transferred, I kind of just did a half ass wife and you know, I didn't want that. I didn't want that echo to affect the podcast. After this, you'll wipe the other half.

Yeah. Let me ask you something, man. What's, first of all, what's your name? My name is Wilson. Hey, Wilson. Cool name. So question for you. Do you just, do you just use toilet paper?

And that's it. Or do you use baby wipes? I know some people use baby wipes. You know, I do use the disposable wipes. The flushable ones? The flush afterwards. You're not messing up your pipes, are you? Yes.

Flushable. I'm not, no, no, no. Nothing. Safe for their environment. Okay. Good. And I am actually installing a bidet. Oh, that's hell.

That is a move. That is a move. That is a move. That's the one thing Europeans got right. Now, where do you live, Wilson? I live in a Hollywood at the moment. Oh, okay. A local call.

Hollywood. What do you do? Are you in the biz? Are you in the biz? I am not in the business, but I'm actually a nurse. So whenever I actually listen to your guys' podcast on the way to work and then on the way home from work. Awesome.

Yeah. You know, long time listener, you know, first time caller. Wilson, do you work in the hospital? I do work in the hospital. Yeah. I'm in the emergency room. Wow. Wow.

How many gunshots do you see a day? Oh, that's a good one. We get a lot of walk-ins. Walking in? What? Having been shot? Holy shit. Cars pull up.

And dump someone at the curb? Yeah, they dump somebody there. They don't come in with them? They don't park? Well, no, it's been in some sort of illegal shooting situation. They don't want the cops asking a bunch of questions. Right. And as soon as they drop them off, they kind of just scurry away afterwards.

But I've seen quite a few gunshots. But how many on average are you seeing a day? I'm dead serious. You can, well, let's say for a week, I work four days a week. Okay. You could probably average about like four to six within that week. Wow. That's only on my shift.

So, you know, you get like one here, two, and sometimes in a row. And generally, what shift are you working? Then it's quit. Yeah. What's your, what are your hours? What are your hours? I'm graveyard. So.

Oh, wow. So, Wilson, I do a very serious question to ask you, you know, we're talking about COVID, we're talking about, you know, gun usage and stuff. What percentage of people are coming into the ER with things stuck into their asses that are, they can't get out? Right. They've been lodged in their assholes. Like, I've got a leg, I've got a Lego in there.

I thought it'd be fun to have this in my asshole and I'm finding out that it's not. That's really a rare occasion there. But I've seen things stuck in vaginas. Oh, okay. Okay. So, you haven't seen a lot of ass play. What's the weirdest thing you've seen stuck in a vagina? Multiple tampons.

Oh, well, that's just sad. That's sad. Heavy. They've been kind of, they actually forgot about them. They just didn't know what this stomach was hurting. Oh, my God. How do you just like to point out that you guys talked about shit for like so long with no gross reaction and then tampons are mentioned and you guys don't know.

No, no, no. It's not the tampons. It's the multiple tampons. It was sad, it was sad. It was sad that it wasn't someone's sexual ambition turned into a comedic tragedy. It was sad that, you know, someone was trying to stop sexual ambition. Wilson, we have a lot of callers today, but thank you for your service and your listening. Oh, yeah.

No, thank you guys for entertaining me while I head home and, you know, I have to de-stress a little bit. You got it, buddy. I appreciate you guys. My work is man. Yeah, my man. Thank you, Wilson. All right.

See you, Wilson. Bye. Bye. Great. Well, now I thought there would have been more stuff in people's asses. I would have thought that was a huge surprise. What am I seeing there? Oh, my God.

I thought that was your skin. I was like, I thought. Do you guys know why I thought that? Because I have another friend who works in the ER in Rhode Island who said all the time people come in with shit in their asses stuck in their asses. So apparently in LA, we know how to get stuff out of our asses. Well, if you put the right thing in there, the right shape thing in there, because that's what you want, and then you shouldn't have any problem getting it out, always have a

backup plan to tie string to it. I think the ass has a locking mechanism. Tie a fucking string to it. I think the ass has a locking mechanism that once it's gone in, it's like a vacuum. That's why you need the string. I know, but then you're going to make it worse if you pull it out. Well, that's why they got to go in. Yes, if you put those, if you put like, you know, barbs in it that go backwards.

Now it's like a Chinese finger, finger trap. Like what's that? Yeah. Yeah. Are you full? The tighter it gets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Rob, are we good?

Are we good? Is that how the asshole works? It's like a Chinese finger trap. That's right here. Rob, is this too blue for you? Are you? Are you getting embarrassed? Are you getting flustered?

Are you getting embarrassed? Are you getting flustered? I know you don't want to be the pee pee poo poo asshole guy. Oh, I know. Yeah, that's true. Why? Let's talk about something wholesome. But just we went, no, whatever.

I mean, I'm into it. Okay. All right, Megan, let's take another call. Let's, let's, let's talk assholes. You really should be over there eating crackers though, like Frank and the others. It would be cool. It would be cool if these people are doing another thing. Yeah.

Yeah. We can get a prop like switchboard. You want a prop switchboard with lights and do this. That'd be fun. I always wanted to be that. Yeah. Just a moment. Yeah.

Just a moment, love. Just a moment. One moment. Welcome to the always sunny podcast you're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. What is going on? Hello. Hello, caller. What do you got?

Hi. Hello. What's up? Who are we speaking with today? Who are we speaking with? My name's Wilfredo. Wilfredo. Wilfredo.

Is that, is that your first name or is that both names? That is my first name. I get that a lot, but it is my first name. All right. Where are you calling us from today? I'm calling from New York. All right. New York.

What part of New York? New York state? New York city. New York city. I'm actually currently at my job. Yes. Where are you? Where is that?

Where do you work? Listen, I saw the tweet. I saw the tweet and I was like, I'm going to call. I'm going to put my headphones in. You know, I have all my hair. I could hide it. I'm getting away. Wilfredo, are you going to get fired if your boss knows you?

Don't get fired for this. You're on a talk show right now? Don't get fired for this, man. Whatever show this is. Oh, I'm not going to get fired. Oh, you're an essential to the organization. He's essential to the organization. Exactly where you are, but what kind of business is it?

Yeah, what do you do? Yeah. It's retail. Oh, yeah. You can do it at retail. Okay. What's the deal? You selling shirts?

You selling sandwiches? What are you doing? Yeah, it's clothes. I work at a... I'm not going to name the product. Yeah, that's fair. Are you on Fifth Avenue? Are you in one of the big fancy Fifth Avenue ones?

Or are you downtown? Oh, no, no, no, no. Okay. All right. Okay. But you're just talking to yourself right now. Are you out on the floor right now talking to yourself? Yeah, are you on the floor?

No, I'm a backstop guy. That's why I feel so confident in getting away with it. Okay. Are you spending... Are you living on the edge, man? Yeah. I bet you can fold the shit out of a shirt, can't you? Way to go, dude.

You can fold the fuck out of a shirt. You don't even know how good I could fold a shirt. Buddy, do you have one of those square plastic things that you fold a shirt on, or do you just fucking do it by hand? Oh, we have them, buddy. I don't need them. Yes. Alfredo.

That's folding the shit out of shirts on the daily. That's a skill for life. That is a skill for life because that applies not only to work, but also home life, you know, and you can have a nice drawer full of really well-folded clothes. Well, Alfredo... Wait, wait, hold on a second now. Can you fold a shirt expertly without actually laying it out on a table? Can you just do it by hand on your fucking chest and your stomach?

Can you do that? Oh, yeah. You can do it full on in the air, buddy. Oh, yeah. Fucking air. Like in the air. Like in the air using the chin. Yeah, he fucking throws it in the air and it comes in and clings in his hand.

Fold the shirt and goes straight to the right tail. That, by the way, would be an amazing trick if you could just figure out how to fucking throw it in the air like a pizza and it would land in your hand like all folded and shit. That would be the greatest. You would be an internet star. Well, Alfredo, what's your favorite episode of this show? Oh, wow. Oh, interesting.

I don't know. Just throw it up. Okay. Yeah. That's a good question. Um, I will say because of its most recent airing, I will say the finale of the newest season. Oh, right.

Oh, thank you, man. Was it Charlie's Oscar winning emotional performance at the end, or was it the chuckles that you got? No. That's exactly what it was for me. Um, that's what I love about this show. You know, it has so much art, um, within like the mess of what the show is. And, um, on my break, I was watching the episode and I started crying.

Oh, man. Alfredo. Oh, man. Do you have a tough relationship with your father, Wilfredo? What was that? What, how was your relationship with your father? Oh, uh, it's, it's good. My relationship with my father is good, not as of late.

Uh-oh. Okay. But yeah, my parents are going through a thing. Oh, yeah. Are they going through a divorce? No, but they should be. Okay. Okay.

I know that one. Yeah. Thank you for your kind words about that episode. Yeah. That means a lot to us. Yeah. That's what we're trying to do. We're trying to make you happy.

Where's that? I think especially because I just came back from a trip from El Salvador and I was with my parents and my sisters and we had a bunch of times together and that trip for me and my father kind of strained our relationship a little bit. So coming back and watching this episode, I was like, oof, I did, I did not know those, uh, those feelings were in there, but they came out. Oh, that's good. That's good.

That's good. That means you care about emotional release. How old are you? I'm 29. Right on, man. Young man. Well, listen, I hope things, uh, you know, improve between your parents or, or that they go through with the divorce and things improve after that.

Uh, but, uh, you know, there's always plenty of time to get your relationship back on track with your dad. Yeah. I hope that happens. Hey, listen, buddy, thanks for calling in. Um, and I'm, I'm glad I haven't been caught the entire time. All right. Don't get fired, Wilfredo.

Yeah. All right. Good luck, buddy. See you, man. Yeah. See you guys. We've had 5,608 callers so far. So that's a lot of callers when you're ready for another one.

We're ready. All right. Let's go. All right. Welcome to the always sunny podcast. You're on with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. Hello. Well, hello.

Hello. It's me. Hello boys. Oh my God. How are you? We're good. What are you speaking with today? My name is Dina, a very long, long, long time sunny viewer and big fan.

How are you guys? Oh my God. We're good. How long, Dina? How old are you? I'm okay. Well, you're going to think I'm a child because I'm 21. Oh, fine.

A long time viewer. Well, when you're 21. It's possible if you started when you were 10. Okay. Yes, essentially. I was watching the gang, the gang gets racist when I was probably way too young. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. How old were you? And what was your impression at the time? Did you think it was funny right away or did it take you a second to kind of key into the humor? I mean, okay, of course it took a little bit for me to be like, okay, are these guys actually bad individuals? Are we trying to poke fun at stuff here?

But the first episode, I watched it alone, which I think is the best kind of experience to have with that episode because, you know, you're like, should I be laughing? Should I not be laughing? Right. You don't want to be judged. But, um, but no, it definitely, it hit me funny right away. I mean, I didn't watch the first season in bed. I'm currently sick with COVID right now and been binge watching.

I mean, I literally watched every season, every day. Well, listen, what kind of variant do you have? Which variant do you have? Do you have the Delta? You got the Omicron. Omicron. How do you know? How do you know?

Okay. Well, with the Delta, it's more supposed to be respiratory and Omicron and you use your taste and smell. So I have taste and smell. My girlfriend tested positive like three days ago. I tested negative actually, but I'm like sick. So I'm a little bit lost. COVID classic. Here's the thing.

I'm COVID original. You don't want me to stir things up or anything here, but, uh, you know, there is no, I like it. She knows it. Yeah, she knows it. I love what you bring. I always say one that you bring like the logic. You bring the right questions.

The logic? Well, he's the host. We just found out he's the host. Yeah. Dina, I love you. Do not get me wrong. You're my favorite character. So get her on there.

Dina, we're just kidding. Where are you? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. He's got a word. He's got a word. Are you guys screaming at me? Look. Yeah. This is where you, yeah. We're just kidding.

We're joking around. The podcast is exactly like the show. Just us talking. Just us yelling. Man, why am I your favorite character? I don't know. No, no. Before that.

Why are you calling us from dinner? Before that. Yeah. Rob's like, okay, so are you going to stroke my ego or what? No, no. You're the best. She is. Sassy.

I like Dina. Dina, don't fuck around. Dina, don't fuck around. Dina, don't fuck around. Dina, don't fuck around. Where do you live, Dina? I'm calling from North Carolina right now. Part of North Carolina.

I was born in New York. I've been in Philly plenty of times, but yeah, but no, I grew up in North Carolina for the most part. What do you do for work, Dina? Well, actually, I'm 21. I'm in my final year of college studying French and English and hopefully trying to move overseas one day. I don't know.

Well, listen, your English is great. Yeah. So you don't know where you're from, but you got the English part. I wouldn't worry too much about that. Oh, thank you. If I'm your favorite character, I will say that you're my favorite college. Yeah, yeah. And I will say you have terrible taste.

Bye, Dina. No, no, no, Dina. Rob's great. I love you. She did not lose her sense of taste. She has a different strain. You don't understand. She didn't say she loved you.

Rob, you were her favorite actor. She lost her sense of smell. She didn't lose her sense of smell. She clearly lost her sense of taste. Oh. Thank you, Dina. Thank you, Dina. Oh, thank you, Dina.

Zing, zing. We got another call. Welcome to the Always Sunny podcast you're on with Rob, Charlie, and Glenn. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hi. Oh, my God.

What's up, dude? How are you? Who are we speaking with today? My name is Josiah. I am just super thrilled I actually made it on today. Josiah. Josiah. Josiah.

Where are you calling from, Josiah? Grand Rapids, Michigan. Oh, my God. The Midwest. The Midwest. Michigan in person. I'm telling you. I love it.

Okay, great. Look for the lines in the Midwest. Josiah, give us a hot take. Yeah, man. Give us a take. Josiah, what's going on? What do you want to talk about? Is the earth round or flat?

Okay. Round and flat. Earth. Go. It's definitely flat. That's for sure. Okay. Absolutely.

And then our parts of it round. The good parts are. Okay. Okay. Okay. Josiah, Flat Earther from Michigan. What's up, man? So much, man.

Just actually at work right now. I was supposed to be going into a meeting and I was like, I've got a very important call that I'm on hold for. What are you meeting about? Are you the CEO or are they just fucking sitting there tapping their fingers on the counter, waiting for you to show up? Nah, dude. I'm just the sell guy, but I'm going to just hopefully not lose my job because I'm going

to be late for that. But I really honestly, this is worth it. Buddy, if you are selling whatever it is you're selling on the regular, you're not going to lose your job. What are you selling? Oh, I know. I hope it's not globes. It's not what?

I hope it's not globes. I hope it's not earth coins. Flat globes. What's up? I wish it was. Nah, I mean, we do a lot of IT and cybersecurity for West Michigan, which apparently is a big thing. So that's what we do.

Oh, okay. All right. All right. Got to keep the Russians out. Got to keep the Russians out. Good for you. Okay. You got a question for us?

What's going on, dude? Which one of you guys is most like your character on the show? I don't know. None of us really. I mean, none of us. That's the truth. Well. We don't have a take for it.

I mean, we all have aspects of ourself that we bring to the character, but I don't know. Who do you? Glenn's got a take though. Who's your take? Well, I just was thinking like I do sometimes. I mean, yeah. I mean, there's aspects of my personality that are in the character. I was going to say Glenn too, but I didn't want to do that to him.

I didn't want to either. But I saw in his eyes that he was taking, he was taking responsibility. Well, you know what it is that the frustration, the extreme frustration over little things that I shouldn't get so bent out of shape about that I share with the character. The overall. I could see that. Yeah. Like, but all the other stuff.

No. I mean, I'm not, I'm not like that guy. I'm not like that guy. Guys, pretty crazy. You don't want to be too much. The amount of times I scream idiots and savages on a daily basis. Yeah. It applies to so much.

That's the thing though. It applies. A lot of idiots and savages out there. Charlie. How did that was? I feel like that was something that you came up with when we were writing that episode. That you kind of, because that was the first time I feel like my character ever truly ranted and raved.

We'll see. The thing is, I think I get to channel some of my psychosis through your character too, which is a fun thing, which is sometimes I'm like, well, I sometimes feel crazy like a maniac, but it's not going to seem right. But can I pitch you some stuff? But I don't know. I don't totally recall that. I seem to recall it being you having a very specific thing.

You were like, I think Glenn can do this. I think he's got this gear and you wrote this thing and it, where I just went absolutely crazy and you told me, you were just like, go nut, just go fucking nuts. And I was like, all right, let's just try it. Let's see what happens. And every once in a while, you'll come to us and be like, guys, I just don't feel like I want to go like in this direction and we'll be like, okay, okay, okay. And then we'll just like write it and then you'll be like, I don't know if I want to

do it. Come on, man. Just do it. Just do it. And it's always funny. It gets funnier and funnier. Yeah. It is good.

Jesus. But Josiah, you should get to your meeting. Don't get fired while we compliment Glenn. Yeah. I will try my best not to. We'll compliment each other. We'll kind of see what happens from there. Okay.

I mostly also just have to pee and I've just been like. Oh, go pee. Don't. Don't. You're going to hurt yourself. Probably go use the restroom. All right. I'm not going to wait for you to pee, uh, but we love you and thank you for calling

him. Thanks Josiah. Bye Josiah. Bye. Guys, are we ever going to go back to just talking about the episodes like this is too fun. This is way fun. And I think if we get a little structure to it and we come up with some, some questions

or. Yeah. I think, I think, I think we every once in a while, we just do one of these. Why not? Yeah. Fuck not. Too fun. Yeah.

We should do a whole episode where we have people calling and tell us what we're doing wrong. Yeah. Absolutely. So, so like this episode you call in, you tell us what we've done wrong. Yeah. This episode. For example, they'll say, don't hit the table when you're talking.

Right. Cause it. But it could be about what we're doing wrong with the podcast. It could be what we're doing wrong with the show. Right. It could be what we're doing wrong in life. Yes. I agree.

That is a great. It's a great ringtone. It is a really sweet ringtone. Welcome to the always sunny podcast, John, with Rob, Charlie and Glenn. You sure are. You got through. You did it. You did it.

It could be our last call. I made it. It could be our last call. We'll see. Who we talking to? It could be the last call. Wow. Yeah.

Well, you know, we'll do more of these. We'll see. We can only do so many in one day. For today. Yeah. What's your name, man? I'm Jimbo. How you guys doing?

Jimbo. Jimbo. Jimbo. Jimbo. Jimbo. Is it on the driver's license? Is Jimbo or is Jimbo a nickname? Oh, no, I just total fake name.

I just totally made it up. Oh, shit, man. I'm from Alabama. I thought maybe that was your real name. Because you're worried that you're going to get like some hot water for being on this or you want to just stay? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Because you're at work. Can't think about my real identity. Because you're at work. What part of the country are you calling from, Jimbo? Can you give that out? I'm calling from Chicago. Oh, right.

Right. Right. Jimbo from Chicago. We are a Midwest show. I love it. Okay. Almost everybody who's called in has been from the Midwest. There was a couple of exceptions, but almost everyone else from the Midwest.

Yeah. It's wild. Jimbo, what's going on? Now it's cold out. We got snow. Nothing to do. Nothing to do but sit inside and call you guys. All right.

All right. So what do you want? Jimbo, you're lying about your name. Why? What have you done? Yeah. What's your agenda? What have you?

Is the government looking for you? Are you on the run? Are monsters looking for you, Jimbo? Do you say monsters? Yeah. Yeah. Monsters. Yeah.

Monsters. Yeah. Monsters. Yeah. Monsters. We are triangulating as we speak. That's right. They're going to get you because we know where you are now.

Why don't they say triangulate? They do a series of triangles to get someone's. Yeah. They can, yeah. Why don't they circulate someone? I think what it is is like... A triangle? You need to...

You need... At least you can... Right. If you picture a triangle like the three dots of the ends of a triangle, then you go straight to the center of that. That's where the guy is. By the way, they're on their way to your house right now, Jimbo. You're on your way.

Just see it. How much time do I got guys? Two minutes, I'd say two minutes. Jimbo you any questions for us? What do you want Jimbo? What are your dreams? It's to be on the show someday. Oh, are you an actor? Are you an actor Jimbo? I want you know when I was a little kid, you know, we used to make some stupid home movies That's about the extent of my acting career. Oh, that was I listen. That's what we did We made a stupid home movie and although most people who appear on our show Jimbo have dedicated their lives to being Performers true

But you're here on our our podcast, which is in a sense like being on the show. Yeah, what is this the kind of performance? You would give on the show. Oh You know depends what kind of character I'd be you know, I've met you guys I'm probably just having me be in you know some guy in the corner for half a second shot. So Mm-hmm We might be able to pull that off, but we don't know who you are Jimbo. This has been fun Jimbo We're gonna have to let you go but only because We're out of time. We're out of time

Yeah, time. All right. Well, I think I got another minute or the authorities get me. Yeah Grab your go bag. Go ahead for the fire escape. I know it's chilly out there So bring a coat make sure you have your socks and shoes on have a go bag You don't want to scuttle down that fire escape with as little noise as possible if there's a trash can or something You can plummet into that's gonna be good for a softer. Yeah. Yeah, I'll hop right into the trash right with my go bag Be good to go. Okay. Get out of here. Okay. Great. Well. Hey, listen watching the show. I have a feeling they're gonna catch you But best of luck. Bye Jimbo. Thanks for calling me. I'm fat. I'm fat. All right. All right. All right. Get going. All right. See you pal Well guys, have we done it is this this is uh, you know, it's the first one

I yeah, I think once we come up with a little bit more structure. I think I like the idea of there being a specific theme to the Calling, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. So I think that's it and uh, yeah, it's called a podcast. We'll call the podcast and we'll do it again Um, hello? Hey, it's us Steven Spielberg. It's your old buddy. Hey guys, how's it going today? I heard you guys were doing a Calling show. I got very excited about it. Great idea, by the way. Very original and nobody's ever done that. I don't think, right? I mean Oh, I'm sorry, Steven. The guys have already left. Are you fucking kidding me, Megan? Seriously? He put me through. The guys aren't even there? God damn it. I was gonna put him in my next movie