The Amelia Project - Episode 38 - Alexandra

Episode Date: June 6, 2021

“Don't fret. Most people can't go five minutes without lying.” Episode 38, Season 3. With Antigoni Spanou, Alan Burgon, Alexander Mercury and Stepan Chernyshev. Written by Philip Thorne. Story editing by Oystein Brager. Directed by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager. Sound recording and sound design by Dominic Hargreaves. Music and sound direction by Fredrik Baden. Graphic design by Anders Pedersen. Production assistance by Maty Parzival Göllner. For full credits see our website. The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. Congratulations. You’ve reached the content warning. The Amelia Project is about death, mishaps, mayhem and misfortune. And cocoa. If you’re not comfortable with this, stop listening. Now. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network. Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Website: ameliapodcast.com Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. Hello, dear Amelia listeners. We're back with a brand new episode, which is dedicated to our super patron, Chloe Lefferman. Chloe wrote us a super kind message saying she's just started her first job and wants to celebrate by supporting us. So thank you so much, Chloe. We're deeply honoured and wish you all the best in your first job. Also, we'd like to mention our patron Stepan

Chanyshov, who has a little cameo as a prison guard in this episode. You'll be hearing that in just a few moments. In today's episode, we catch up with the interviewer at Golovkin Prison. When we last left him, Oleg had just promised to give him a tour of Block D and its maverick inmates. So, let's see how that's going. Enjoy the episode. Where shall we go next? Can I meet Abdelrahman Safar? Let's see how that's going. Enjoy the episode. and work. Isn't there anyone else you want to see? Well, how many inmates are there in Block D? Three nuclear physicists, two astronomers, a clairvoyant, a chaos theorist, a sculptor, a post-structuralist

hacker, four molecular biologists, three epistemologists, a basket weaver, two string theorists, a robotic engineer, two biochemists, a risk analyst, an architect, a radical phenomenologist, a telepath, a punk rocker, an entomologist, a theologician, and a game theorist. Wow. And you have the keys to all of their cells?

I have the key to every door in Golovin. Well, if that's the case, why am I helping you escape? And the main door doesn't have a key. It has a code. Who guards the door? Dmitri. Well, can he be bribed? Dmitri is partial to cherry vodka.

But who would want to risk being thrown into the Golovin basement? Yes, well, leave it to me. Can I speak to this Dimitri? No way. I can't take you beyond Block D. Too many guards. But you can take me anywhere within this block? As long as we're careful. Shit. What?

Hear that? A guard? Yes, in you go. Where? In there, quick. Whose cell is this? Alexandra Demopoulos. You'll find her very interesting. Who is Alexandra Demopoulos? No time. Go in. All right, all right. I'll be waiting for you out here. Кто это продает? Александра Демополос. Вы найдете очень интересную. Кто Александра Демополос?

Нет времени. Пойдем. Хорошо, хорошо. Я буду ждать вас здесь. Но... Вдруг... Добрый вечер, Олег. Все в порядке? Да. Thank you. The Amelia Project.

Created by Philip Thorne and Ostein Braga. With music by Frederick Barden. Episode 38. Alexandra. Hello, Alexandra. Yeah. Alexandra. I do, but the undercurrent of worry is always there. How are you? Fine. Wrong. What?

You look like shit. Excuse me? You have rings under your eyes and it looks like you've lost your comb. Why? Why would you say that? It's the truth. Why are you here? I'm the new psychiatrist. Golovine has asked me to visit every inmate in Block D and... Wrong.

What? That was a lie. Okay, you're right. I'm not a psychiatrist. I've been sent by Boris to... Wrong. What the... Tell me the truth or get out of here.

I... Look, I... I am a fellow prisoner. Correct. Correct. Phew. You're scared of me, aren't you? Don't be silly. Of course I'm not. Wrong.

I, I, um... Don't fret. Most people can't go five minutes without lying. I... White lies, mostly. And superficial niceties. By the way, would you mind moving back a bit? Your aftershave is very strong and it's giving me a headache. This is... certainly. So, why are you really here?

To discover your skill. Tell me anything about yourself and I'll tell you if it's true or false. Shoot. Oh, okay. Fun. Um, oh, I love Maltesers. Correct. Hmm. I hate penguins. Correct.

Yes, nasty little buggers. Um, oh, I have a pet monkey. Wrong. Oh. My middle name is Arthur. Correct. My first name is Cornelius. Wrong. I won the World Singles Tiddlywinks Tournament of 1966. Wrong. But I was so close, goddammit. If only I'd potted that last wink. Oh, I speak fluent Farsi. Correct. I used to be head curator

at the Museum of Cairo. Correct. I was a fire eater at Cirque Zavata Feast. Correct. I play the harpsichord. Wrong. How am I doing? You got it right every single time.

Correct. Am I really that transparent? Does my nose grow like Pinocchio when I lie? No. Well, that's a relief. It shrinks. What? When you lie, warm blood flows towards your brain and makes your nose shrink.

You can... you can see that? Yes. But how? The question is how come you don't see it. It's always been very obvious to me. As a kid, I didn't realize I had heightened perception. I thought it was just natural. You've had this skill since you were a

child. That must have made your parents' life hell. Baba, baba, is Santa Claus real? Why were you making funny noises in your bedroom last night? Manula, who's your favorite child? They couldn't hide the truth from me. Your poor parents. It wasn't much fun for me either. How so? I didn't understand why everyone was constantly saying things they knew to be untrue. It was so confusing and frustrating. But you learned to live with it. I learned that nobody wants to spend time with someone who can see through lies.

I can see how your ability makes social interaction, well, somewhat difficult. Difficult? I'm a social pariah. Now, now, I'm sure it's not... So, I decided to become a chemist. Sorry? My goal, to create a truth serum. A truth serum? You don't need a truth serum. You can already tell if someone's lying. Why would you... To eradicate lies for good.

Imagine a world in which everyone tells the truth all the time. In a world like that, my skill, or rather my curse, wouldn't count for anything. If everyone only told the truth, they wouldn't be scared of being found out by me. That would mean I could lead a normal life and wouldn't be considered a freak. Well, peel me like an onion. The field of lie detection is filled with placebos and pseudoscience. I wanted to create the first simple and scientifically sound method of abolishing lies. How did it go? I made breakthrough after breakthrough. Wow.

In the summer of 2019, I gave a lecture at the University of Thessaloniki in which I revealed that we were on the way to developing the world's first fully effective truth drug. That's when the research grants dried up. After you announced your breakthroughs. Why? My funding came from the government. Turns out politicians aren't too keen on a drug that eradicates lies. Of course.

So what did you do? I tried to find corporate backing. But CEOs are just as squeamish about transparency. Hmm. There was, however, one organization willing to fund my research. Oh? Who? The CIA. Ha! Of course.

They arranged for me to come to Langley. A new beginning in the US of A? That's not how it turned out. No? No. What happened? I never reached the US. My taxi driver didn't take me to the airport.

He drove me to a small airfield just outside Athens. A private jet was waiting. The driver told me that a wealthy Russian businessman was interested in my work and wanted to meet me. What did you do? The driver had a gun. I got into the jet. I see. A few hours later, I was in the Kremlin drinking vodkas with Mikhail. Mikhail welcomed you personally?

Yes. I'm almost jealous. I only got the Boris treatment. Count yourself lucky. Mikhail reeks of Limburger cheese. Your aftershave is delightful in comparison. Mikhail was very excited about the serum. It would let him instantly extract information it would otherwise take weeks of torture to obtain. Mikhail is all about efficiency.

So he set you up with this lab in Golovin? Yes. It's great, isn't it? Much better than what I had back at the University of Thessaloniki. Yes, but you can't leave. I already told you. I find people and their constant lies stressful. I prefer the reliability of facts and formulas. Why would I ever want to leave my lab? And does it work yet? What? The serum. Is it effective? What do you think?

Sorry? I don't usually tell strangers my life story. What? You mean you're under the influence of the serum now? I took 5 milliliters 10 minutes ago. But why? Self-testing. Are you kidding me? You're... Oh, you're not.

Right. But how on earth can you self-test? How does that even work? See that questionnaire? Yes. I drafted 20 questions for myself that I really don't want to answer.

Who is Elena? Well? She's was my girlfriend. Hmm. Tell me about Elena. We were together for more than a year.

The happiest year of my life. Elena was the first person who wasn't scared of me. She actually liked that I could see through her. It excited her. It turned her on. It's like I'm always naked with you, she said. I could be myself and she didn't care. She encouraged it. True love can withstand honesty, she said And I believed her Do you want to hear the sweetest thing she did for me? I'd love to She texted me on my birthday to say she had to work late Her architecture firm was designing a concert hall in Patra

A really big project So she often had to work into the early hours of the morning. But this was my birthday. I was so disappointed. Sorry, I thought you said the sweetest thing. It was a lie. Oh. But because he sent it by text, I didn't know. I'm just defrosting a quiche when I hear some lunatic hooting outside. I open the kitchen window and there's Elena in the car, waving at me to join her. I was stunned. It was the first time anybody had ever surprised me. She's good.

We drove to the Peloponnese coast. She'd booked a small apartment by the sea. And we spend the weekend drinking white wine and baking cinnamon baklava. It sounds magical. It was. It was also the beginning of the end.

Oh? How so? On the drive back to Athens I told her how much I'd appreciated what she'd done. Sometimes lies can be nice, Elena said. Ah. I couldn't get that out of my head.

I thought about it all week and eventually asked her, Elena, do you miss being able to lie? What did she reply? No. No. No. She was lying. Yes. She didn't want to talk about it.

Said it wasn't a big deal. But I wouldn't let go. You said you liked it. You said you liked being naked in front of me, I said. She said there were moments when she wanted to hide. There were moments she wished she could just pretend to like my earrings or the dinner I'd cooked and not have a big discussion about it. She said this was one of those moments.

She wanted to go to bed. She had to get up early the next morning to go to Patra. I should have just let her sleep and give things time to settle. But I didn't. I asked question after question after question. We argued through the night and into the morning. At 5 a.m. she had to leave for Patra. She got into the car and told me she wouldn't be back. to the morning. At 5am she had to leave for Patra.

She got into the car and told me she wouldn't be back. This was the last time I saw her. So, let me get this straight. You're using yourself as a test subject, asking yourself painful questions about Elena, then assessing your honesty to gauge whether the truth serum is working? Yes. It doesn't seem like a very reliable method. It's the best I can do.

Really? Oh, come on. I'm sure Boris would be more than happy to provide you with a guinea pig. I was worried that's what you were at first. A guinea pig? Yes. Wait, you were worried? Why? They must know about my success. Oh. Go on. I've told Mikhail it will take at least another year until the serum is effective. You don't want him to have it.

He'll get it eventually, but... Yes? When I first met Mikhail, I asked him what would happen after I completed my work here. What did he say? He said I'd be free to go back to Greece. And you don't want to go back to...

Oh. His nose retracted. Yep. Once I've served my purpose, he will dispose of me. I know it. Does he know about your ability to see through lies? Do you think he'd have spent time with me if he did? No.

He just thinks I'm a talented chemist. Well, maybe you can use your ability to your advantage. Use it as leverage against him. If Mikhail finds out about my ability, he'll kill me there and then. He won't even wait until I finish the serum. So, what, you're just in here biding your time? I'm not being idle. I'm making the serum. Why? Why don't you just pretend to work and do crosswords instead? You know Oleg? We're acquainted. He surveys me every morning. Anyway, I want to succeed. It's my life's work. It's just I'm not ready to die. Not yet. It would be a pity to die so soon with a lab like this, you know? I haven't really made the most of it.

So... I was thinking... I keep my success with the serum quiet for another year or so... And use the time to play around with some other experiments. There's so much I'd still love to explore. You're taking a huge risk self-testing like this, though. Mikhail could come in any minute and the game would be up. Have you ever seen Mikhail set foot in Golovin?

I told you, I've never met Mikhail. My evenings here have always been undisturbed. Well, until today, that is. I am sorry. Not at all. I'm grateful to you. Oh, why? As you say, self-testing is very unreliable. I could never be sure whether I was answering my questions because I really had to, or whether I was doing it because I subconsciously wanted the serum to work. or whether I was doing it because I subconsciously wanted the serum to work. But spilling my heart out to a complete stranger,

especially one who looks like a total hobo, is obviously proof that this is working. Happy to help. You know what, Alexandra? You can do something for me in return. What's that? I'd like a bottle of truth serum, please. Delay it.

Well? Out of the question! Why? This isn't some party game. I know that. It's a powerful drug and needs to be handled responsibly. Oh, I am Mr. Responsible. Even if that was true, which it's not...

Hey, I was covering my nose with my hand. Which means you're covering up a lie. Damn, there's no winning with you. Even if it was true, nobody's allowed to know the serum exists. I'm not compromising my safety by giving it to you. I'm sorry, Alexandra, but you have no choice. You have to give it to me. What's that supposed to mean?

There's someone waiting behind the door. What? Who? Oleg. I tell you I'm serious, but you already know that, right? Yes. What's Oleg doing here? He only comes in the morning. How long until the serum wears off? Twenty minutes.

Hmm. How about I invite Oleg in here and get you to tell him everything you've just told me? You wouldn't. If you don't give me the serum, I'm afraid I will. Oh, Motto. You're telling the truth. So, how about it? As long as you keep this sealed, it won't expire. Five milliliters of serum will give you half an hour of truth,

effective instantaneously. Please use with caution. Thank you. You've made a good choice. You forced me. You've just saved yourself. I get to live another year. Oh, no. More than that.

I won't be able to string Mikhail along forever. Do you know who I am? No. No, of course you don't. That was rhetorical. Well, I am a death faker. Go on. Oh, sorry. That's normally when people express their disbelief. I forgot that you... I believe you.

Good. Then you'll also believe the next thing I say. In a year's time, I will come back to Golovin and fake your death. Back to Golovin? You're already here. Oh, I don't intend to stay here much longer. How will you fake my death? I don't know yet.

First I need to find my surgeon and my team. It's a long story. But in a year's time we will have a custom-made fake death ready for you. You're a very strange man. And you're a very strange woman. Goodbye, Alexandra. Goodbye. Hey!

What's your name? Thaddeus. Lathos. Xero. All clear? All clear. So, how did you get on with Alexandra? Oh, splendidly.

And I've got something for you. Oh. Here. Sniff it. Smells of glue. What is it? That is your escape route. What?

This is a bottle of truth serum. But Alexandra still needs at least 12 months of... Trust me, it works. Okay. What do I do? The gatekeeper is fond of cherry vodka, you said? Yes. Well, look at that. It's almost 6 p.m. Time for a little tipple, don't you think?

I'll put some serum in Dmitri's vodka. And ask for the code to the main gate. Perfect! I can't thank you enough. Let's go. Hang on. Where are you going? Your cell is back there. Oh, I'm coming with you. What? Well, as cozy as Golovine is,

it would be nice to get some sunlight and eat something other than Canteen Stroganoff for a change. No way. You can't come with me. Why not? Do you know how many security perimeters you have to pass to get to the main gate? Yes, but that's not stopping you from... I bring messages to Baris, check up on inmates in the basement and the hospital wing. I can move around Galavin freely. I'm an employee. You are a prisoner. Look, I'm taking enough of risk letting you roam around here. How would I justify taking you out of Block D? It's a risk, but... It will ruin the plan.

Well, without me, there is no plan. This was supposed to be about my escape, not yours. I've waited for years to get out of here, and I'm not going to jeopardize that. Do you want me to give this bottle back to Alexandra? Hey, it's in your interest I get out of here. I promised to find you friends, remember? Yes, you're right. But before I give you this bottle,

there's one more thing I need you to do for me. What's that? I'd like to meet Hiroshi, the robotics engineer. Oh. I know he's busy, but I'd'd like to meet Hiroshi, the robotics engineer. Oh. I know he's busy, but I'd really like to see him. I... certainly. That's not a problem. Good. Tell you what. I'll just give you the key to his cell.

Here. Fourth door on the right. Thanks. Here's the bottle. Thank you. Well? Well? This is where we part ways. Yes. Enjoy the vodka.

I will. I will find you friends. I promise. This episode was written and edited by Philip Thorne with story editing by Einstein Breger. It was engineered and designed by Dominic Hargreaves with music by Frederick Barden, graphic design by Anders Pedersen and production assistance by Marty Partival. It featured Alan Bergen as the interviewer, Antigone Spannu as Alexandra, Alexander Mercury as Oleg,

and a patron cameo by Stepan Chanyshov, who played the prison guard. This show will always be free to listen to, as we want it to be accessible to everyone. But if you are able to chip in with a small contribution, that would of course make us very happy and really help us to cover our costs. More info on how to support the show, as well as transcripts, artwork,

merch and more over at ameliapodcast.com. A special shout out to our super patrons, Sophia Anderson, Kate Tsukuyasu, Sophie Leveso, Jem Fiddick, Alban Ossant, Travis Curtin, Rushab Shukla, Amelie Harris, Stephanie Weidenhiller, Chloe Leveso, Jem Fiddick, Alban Ossant, Travis Curtin, Ruchab Shukla, Amelie Harris, Stephanie Weidenhiller, Chloe Lefferman, to whom this episode is dedicated, Elizabeth Currie, Mince and Such,

and Victor Hesselbaum. And now we'll leave you with a little blooper from the recording of this episode. Am I really that transparent? Does my nose glow like Pinocchio when I lie? No. Grow. Sorry, not glow. Not glow. Sorry. Can we start again?

I did say at 10 o'clock at night my time, my brain might be starting to shut down. OK. Sorry. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. If you love actual plays D&D, Hades, or Greek mythology and improv, be sure to check out Rogue Runners, Volume 1 in the Blood Blood to follow the adventures of Alexander the Great, King of Macedon, and Drunk Paladin. Oh, sorry. I guess now I'm

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