The Amelia Project - Episode 42 - Overture

Episode Date: October 15, 2021

With Julia Morizawa, Julia C. Thorne, Alan Burgon, Eli Hamada McIlveen, Andrei Zayats, Stéphane Gérard and Vincent Zuresco. Written and edited by Philip Thorne Story editing by Oystein Brager  Directed by Philip Thorne and Oystein Brager Sound recording by Dominic Hargreaves Sound design by Dominic Hargreaves and Fredrik Baden Music by Fredrik Baden Graphic design by Anders Pedersen Production assistance by Maty Parzival For full credits see our website.  The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network.  Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Website: ameliapodcast.com Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details. And we're back. Welcome to the Amelia Project Season 4. While we've been away, we've been doing some identity shifting of our own. Ostein has shared his old life as a carefree man about Oslo and has adopted the new persona of being a dad to a wonderful baby daughter.

Anyway, we've been hard at work on this season and can't wait to share it with you. And in fact, we're also making a separate mini-series called The Alvina Archives, which we'll tell you more about at the end. Today's episode is dedicated to Jem Fiddick, also known as the King of the Pigeons. He wants to fake his death by being chewed to death by his pet monkey, Curly Joe, then flown off to safety by pigeons. He wants to be resurrected as a circus performer, and he also wants to collaborate with Hiroshi on the construction of laser pigeons. We look forward to seeing you at the office, Gem. Today's episode also features two Patreon cameos by Stéphane Girard and Vincent Zouresco. Thank you both, Stéphane and Vincent.

And now, without further ado, settle into your seat, open a bag of Maltesers, and enjoy the continuation of the story. So, what are we about to see? Sleeping Beauty. With a robot dancing the lead role. Huh. Not a ballet fan? It's the robot bit I'm unsure about. At least that will make it interesting.

Well, here comes something that might be more to your liking. Mesdames, voici votre champagne. Oh, merci. You ordered champagne, Amelia? Is this... Vove Clicquot? Yes. After everything we've been through, we've earned it.

Remember drinking that old wine in the Panoraguan air raid shelter? It was good wine. But these are better surroundings. This foyer is beautiful. The most beautiful opera house in the world in the most beautiful city in the world. This is my first time in Paris. Really? Well, after the show, I'm taking you down the Avenue de l'Opéra to the Seine,

and we can eat at my favorite brasserie on Ile Saint-Louis. There's a lot we have to discuss, and we can do it over dinner. Cheers, Alvina. Cheers. What's wrong? You don't like it? Oh, no, no. It's divine.

It's just... It reminds me of... I could relax more if I understood why he wanted us to come here. Where do you think he is? You really think it was him who sent us these tickets? That note was definitely written by Penny. Penny? His fountain pen. He calls his pen...

Of course he does. At least he's had Penny to keep him company all this time. Tell you what. If we don't get another clue by the end of the evening, we'll go to Les Deux Magots first thing tomorrow morning. If he's in town, we're bound to find him there. It's a plan. But first, we've got some ballet to see.

Drink up. It's had rave reviews. Look here. A stunning blend of tradition and technology. The Bolshoi reinvents Tchaikovsky for the 21st century. If I want robots, I'll go to the IMAX and watch a Michael Bay film. Here's a quote from Hiroshi Sugiura, the engineer. My mission is to challenge the preconceived notion that robots are manifestations of industry, practicality, and warfare. My machines exist to fill the world with joy, wonder, and beauty. Sounds cool.

Oh, oh, oh, it's about to start. Candy. Yeah. Here. Shh? Yeah. Here. It's going to start soon. You should. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're at the opera, not the cinema. You don't steal from the popcorn either.

Enjoy the show. You too. ORGAN PLAYS © B Emily Beynon © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. The Emilia Project by Philip Thorne and Ostein Braga with music and sound direction by Frederik Baden. Episode 42. Overture. What did you think? Honestly? Yes. I was expecting the robot to look slightly more sophisticated than the tin man from The Wizard of Oz.

Fair. And it was about as graceful as a three-legged elephant on ice skates. Harsh. After each pirouette, I was scared it was going to topple over. A robot just doing pirouettes is pretty damn impressive, don't you think? There were moments when it came this close to crashing into the set. Yeah, but it didn't. Did you see how terrified the real dancers looked? They were sharing the stage with a leaping, spinning, sprinting, lunging piece of machinery.

Of course they were scared. I was biting my nails throughout, waiting for an accident. I know! It was exciting, right? Ballet isn't supposed to be exciting. Ugh. You have to accept it for what it was. You mean a cheap fairground thrill? How can you even judge? You were staring at the ceiling

half the time. Yep. Looking at proper art. Hmm. It's an impressive ceiling. Painted by Chagall, apparently. The chandelier isn't bad either. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? How cool it would be to fake someone's death by plummeting chandelier. Yep. cool it would be to fake someone's death by plummeting chandelier. Yup.

I miss the office. I miss the case files. I miss the good old quiet days of just faking deaths, crafting new identities, and then all going out for ice cream to celebrate a hard day's work. I want to get back to normal, Amelia. So do I. We just have to find him, and we'll get the office up and running again. We'll have to start from scratch.

Well, we can't go back to Britain, that's for sure. We've lost all our contacts and case files. Ugh, the case files will be in the hands of MI5. All of them? Presumably. Do you remember the day you showed me how far back the case files go? And you thought you could categorize all of them? Hey, I got all the way back to the 1920s. I guess now I'll never find out what happened before. About that... You and I need to talk, Alvina. You mean... You're going to let me in on more secrets?

There are things I think you should know. What kind of things? Hello. Sorry, but may I interrupt? Oh, uh... Hello. I'm Hiroshi. Hiroshi Sugiura?

Yes. The engineer? Yes. That was your robot on stage? Yes. Delighted to meet you! Listen, I couldn't help overhearing your conversation and... Oh, I didn't mean what I just said.

No, no, it's fine. Are you Amelia and Alvina? We are. Good. Then you have to come with me. Where to? Backstage. Follow me. Please be quick. me. Where to? Backstage. Follow me. Please be quick. You think I've offended him? Yep. I think he's taking you to apologize to the robot. Through here. I really didn't mean that thing about cheap fairground thrill. Don't worry. I agree with you. You do?

I'm sorry you had to witness that. It was embarrassing. Don't be so hard on yourself. I thought it was very impressive. I never thought I'd see a robot perform an arabesque. What you just saw was a mockery. It had nothing to do with technical ingenuity. Spoken like a true perfectionist.

I'm sure you'll be able to iron out the slight wobble after the pirouettes and... I told him to go easy on the pirouettes, but he knew you were in the audience and he couldn't resist showing off. Idiot. Um... He? This is his dressing room. You mean the robots? I mean your friends.

No way. Yes, in you go. Dozo. Are you telling me C-3PO over there is... Amelia? Alvina? Fry me like a donut. It's you?

It's me! Oh my goodness, it's him! It's him, it's him, it's him! It's him! Can I hug you? Yes, of course, of course, of course. I hope that wasn't all terrible. I was just so excited.

This isn't quite how I was imagining our reunion. Yes, of course. Of course, of course. I hope that wasn't too exciting. This isn't quite how I was imagining our reunion. Yes, yes, yes. Just as I thought it would be. Get in here, Amelia. Oh, no. No, thank you. I, uh... You! Can't breathe. Can't breathe.

Now, first things first. What did you think of my Padushah? Oh, Alvina wasn't impressed. What? Well, you try a Padushah with your arms and legs cased in metal. I mean, really. Under the circumstances, it was... Yes?

Heroic. How can you even walk in that thing? One, two, three, four, and assemble, tour en l'air, plouch, ouch Not to worry No, it'll be perfect by the time we get to La Scala Yes, practice, practice, practice La Scala? No! We have to get out of here

Impressive as your ballet skills may be Don't you think it's time to get back to your real job? Of course I just wanted to see that look on Hiroshi's face. I have to build something to atone for having made such a mockery of robotic art. Hey! But I'm done with performing arts. I never want to set foot in another opera house. The audience loved me.

We're in France. Maybe I should try the culinary arts. Yeah. I'm going to create the first robot ever to be awarded a Michelin star. It's settled. Let's all go back to our day jobs. Well, we have to get out of here first. Oh, what's stopping us? About a dozen Russian secret service agents. Ah. That stage door is better protected than Fort Knox. And you told us to come backstage. Ah. That stage door is better protected than Fort Knox. And you told us to come

backstage. Smart. Oh, don't worry, Amelia. I have a plan. Of course you do. Well, let's hear it. Oh, um, they're rehearsing the Nutcracker in the Chauvieray studio just down the corridor.

Okay. The rehearsal finishes in 15 minutes, but Hiroshi bolted the door shut. We'll pose as the cast and... We'll pose as the cast? I managed to sneak into the costume department and got quite the haul. Three zip bags full. Look! Oh, what's that?

Your costume. You're kidding. You'll be the sugarplum fairy. We're not. Oh, what am I going to be? Oh, you're going to be... You're going. You'll be the sugarplum fairy. We're not. Who am I going to be? Oh, you're going to be... You're going to be... The Mouse King.

Ha! Perfect. I know. Hiroshi will be a harlequin, and I'll be Herr Drosselmeyer. Hiroshi, you'd better start removing my cladding. I'm on it. Okay. Hold still. Hold still. Do we have to learn how to dance?

No, not necessary. Though a little more grace in your movements wouldn't hurt. Watch your head. How does dressing up as characters from The Nutcracker get us out of here? Turn this way. Turn this way. Okay. Paddy Match is doing a feature on the new production of The Nutcracker.

Lift your arm. A photographer is waiting at the stage door. He'll take us to Place de l'Opéra and take pictures of us on the steps. So, we're starting our new life as an underground organisation in a new city by having our faces splashed across the papers? Great. I thought you'd be excited. It's Paris Match.

I haven't been featured in Paris Match. Then what? After the photos outside the opera? Other way, please. We leg it down to the metro. Take line 3 to Salazar, change to line 12 and get off at Pigalle. I know a place in Montmartre where we can lie low. Well, come on, get into your costumes. Come on, get a move on.

What's this fabric? This dress is... tight. A mouse head. Honestly. You look more like a rat, really. Just what I wanted to hear okay careful one more I couldn't move my arms again alright turn about a quarter turn to your right would you mind buttoning me up Alvina

sure alright can you move your ankle yeah like that thank you alright the right leg, please. I was too tight. No, extend it. Thank you, thank you. This costume is scratchy.

Bend forward, please. Okay, there's that piece. My legs! I have my legs back! Okay, brace yourself. This'll be loud. Oh. It's nice to have my peripheral vision back.

Oh, Alvina, Amelia, may I just say, those costumes really suit you. Who is that? I don't know. Shh. Why is it locked? Boris? Let me in. I can't open the door right now.

Why not? Ivana is getting changed. She's a robot. She still has a right to privacy. Well, you've got two minutes to get her looking her best. Two minutes? Why? Mikhail was in the audience tonight. Oh, shit. Mikhail.

Mikhail wants to inspect Ivana for himself. Who is Mikhail? He makes Al Capone look like a saint. Right you are. Hey, wait, how do you know? Shhh! Come on, Hiroshi. Mikhail demands to see Ivana. It's not really a good time. I'm recharging her batteries and oiling her axles. Here he comes. Mikhail, the ballerina is ready to welcome you. Hiroshi, Mikhail is here. Now open up. What are we gonna do? Ballerina is ready to welcome you. Give us a softer landing. You're okay. Hey. Hurry.

Go! Hurry. That wasn't actually too bad. Speak for yourself. You're wearing a padded mouse suit. Oh, look. 11 p. 11pm on the dot. We made it just in time to see the Eiffel Tower sparkle. What a view.

The view? It's no time for sightseeing. Oh, you're wrong, Hiroshi. Excuse me? This is the perfect time for sightseeing. Haven't you ever wanted to see the Paris Opera Catacombs? We can't see the catacombs if we're dead! Do you really exist? I thought that was just a myth!

Hey, stop! Stop! This way! Quick! Here we are. Careful, careful! Ready for another jump? Really? Down to that balcony. Ready?

One, two, three. We're outside the second floor rehearsal room. That door over there leads to the prop department, but I doubt there will be anyone working there this time of night. All clear. Right, in we go. Look at all those swords! Look at that guillotine. Yeah, it's not very realistic. The rope is far too thin. Oh, and look at this. All wrong.

Is that a Chokudo sword? The rope should be tied to the top of the Mouton like so. Then run through the hole in the upper crossbar. It is! Then through the rings. Don't you think we should be... Wrapped around the Deklik like so. This is so cool!

That's better. Now, if someone severed the rope... May I? Go for it, Emilia. Bravo. Okay, very impressive. Now let's put away the sword and... What? No!

I've always wanted one of these. I'm taking it. You don't think wandering around Paris with a 9th century Japanese sword might look a tad suspicious? I'm covered in sequins and you're dressed as a rat. Mouse! My point is that we're going to stand out like a fly on a wedding cake anyway. At least the sword might deter any troublemakers. Where do we go next?

Down that staircase. Right. It will be dark. Alvina, take that candelabra. Okay. Are there any matches? Yes, here. Excellent.

Now follow me. Why do you know this building so well? I've told you many times, Alvina. I once sang Pagliacci here. I thought that was a fib. Well, you may want to reconsider. Did you know about this, Amelia? Uh, this isn't the time, Alvina. We have to focus on getting out of here.

isn't the time, Alvina. We have to focus on getting out of here. Welcome to the catacombs. There's even an underground lake. When the foundation was built in 1862, they dug too deep and hit water.

They incorporated a cistern into the design to redistribute the groundwater and relieve the water pressure on the basement walls. Nowadays, it's used to train firefighters to swim and row in the dark, but otherwise it's strictly off-limits. Most people don't even know it exists. So, this is where we're going to lie low? Gosh, no. No, we shouldn't stay here longer than necessary. Victims of the Paris Commune are buried here, and their souls still roam the tunnels.

They don't like to be disturbed. He's... he's joking, right? I'm starting to find it difficult to tell. We're going to use one of the firefighters' boats. We're rowing across the lake? To the western wall of the cistern, yes. Let's just hope we get there before the candles burn down. Roshi, do you mind rowing?

Certainly. Here, give me that. Alright. Somewhere along the western wall, there are rungs leading up a drainpipe. If we clamber up, we'll reach a manhole that gets us onto Rue Scribes. Mon Matre is a 25-minute walk away. Are you alright, Alvina? Oh, yes. I was just thinking how a moment ago, Emilia and I were sat on red velvet chairs admiring the crystal chandeliers.

Now I'm in the sewers, dressed as a rat. And who knows what tomorrow will bring. Wow. The acoustics down here are amazing. Join me. um um I'm sorry. Stay tuned for the epilogue, but first an announcement. As mentioned at the beginning, we're making a brand new mini-series that chronicles Alvina's arrival at the beginning, we're making a brand new mini-series that chronicles Alvina's

arrival at the Amelia Project. There are so many stories we want to tell about how she first met the interviewer and adapted to office life, and we don't always have time for that in the regular series, so every second week between each regular episode, we'll be releasing the Alvina Archives, audio minisodes that will be available by supporting us on Patreon from just $5. So if you don't want a single week to go by without Amelia, and if you want to help fund the show, go to ameliapodcast.com, click on support the show, become a patron and get the first Alvina Archives episode entitled The Maltese Falcon next Friday. That's ameliapodcast.com and click on support the show.

Epilogue coming up after the credits. This episode was written and directed by Philip Thorne and Einstein Breger with sound design by Frederick Barden and Dominic Hargreaves, and music by Frederik Barden. It featured Julia Morizawa as Emilia, Julia C. Thorne as Alvina, Alan Bergen as the interviewer, Eli Hamada-McElveen as Hiroshi, Andrei Zayet as Boris, and Patreon cameos by Stéphane Girard and Vincent Suresco. Graphic design by Anders Pedersen and production assistance by Marty Partivel. Thank you to our wonderful patrons who make all this possible and a special shout out to our super patrons Sophia Anderson, Kate Sukiyasu,

Sophie Leveso, Jem Fiddick, Albina Sant, Ruchab Shukla, Amelie Harris, Stephanie Weitenhiller, Chloe Lefferman, Elizabeth Curry, Mince and Such, Raphael Eduardo Vifas Verrastaki, and I am Trash. Next episode in two weeks time, or if you're a patron, next week. And now, the epilogue.

Eighty odd years worth of case files is going to take some time, but if I start now, I might finish up before Christmas. Alvina, how long have you been working here now? time, but if I start now, I might finish up before Christmas. Alvina, how long have you been working here now? Um, I think it's been just over a year. Right. I think it's time we let you in on a little secret. Follow me. Where are we going? I... We're going to Kozlowski's basement?

Um... Oh! I didn't know there were more rooms down here. Oh! Oh! What's all this? Case files. In all the boxes yes but there are dozens of boxes there must be thousands of case files down here there are two more rooms what not as big as this room but still box says 1805 17 1794? 1442?

You're not going to get through these before Christmas. Several people have tried organizing them before. All have failed. I suggest you give up. I... But, should you decide to give it a go, please be careful. Some of these boxes contain papyrus. Papyrus? How old is this company? Old. I thought your grandmother founded it?

She didn't. She just gave us a new name and shook things up a little. Huh. So how long has he, you know, who worked for the company? A few years. Listen, not knowing his name is getting a bit old. I know you've told me to just refer to him as the interviewer when I talk to clients, but it's so awkward not to have a name to use when I'm talking to you or Kozlovsky. I told you when you started. The Amelia Project has a lot of secrets. You won't get to know them all at once. Still, referring to someone by their job title... weird. You can call him Arthur. Arthur. It's his middle name.

The interviewer is more like his... rank. Or codename. Like 007. Or the Phantom. Exactly. So there have been other interviewers before... Arthur? For a second there, I almost thought he was immortal or something. There have been other interviewers before Arthur? For a second there, I almost thought he was immortal or something.

Well, it can seem like that sometimes, can't it? He does struggle to keep up with the times, but he's as mortal as you and I. I know, I'm being silly. Don't worry about it. So, do you still want to organize these case files? I... I'd like to try. Very well. Good luck.

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