The Amelia Project - Episode 50 - Mia Fox

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

“So you have looked into the face of death! Stared at his blue complexion, heard his ragged breath!” With Erin King, Hemi Yeroham, Jordan Cobb, Jessie Baade AKA Mama BangBang, Kiba Walker and Graham Rowat Written, edited and directed by Oystein Brager Story editing by Philip Thorne Sound design by Eli Hamada McIlveen Sound recording by Dominic Hargreaves Music by Fredrik Baden Graphic design by Anders Pedersen Production assistance by Maty Parzival For full credits see our website.  The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network.  Website: ameliapodcast.com  Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts  Twitter: @amelia_podcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details.

Cold tapes. A gripping crime story that will chill you to the bone. You know, life on the base means, well, it's close to six months without light. That does things to people that study that he was doing to watch us and then set off us like mice around this special little experiment how many people are on this space 16 on this one someone amongst them is our killer experience cold tapes the murder mystery podcast game. Start your investigation where you get your podcasts. Hello, it's Pip here welcoming you to another episode of The Amelia Project.

It's time to catch up with agents Mia Fox and Jackie Williams and Kozlowski again. Last time they had started off on a road trip to Scotland, only for Mia to turn the car around and head back to London while Jackie was sleeping. We catch up with them as they're approaching the CIA headquarters in London. Today's episode is dedicated to Angel Acevedo, whose generous Patreon support is an enormous help. Enjoy the show. Will you say something? Please? Come on, Jackie, this is ridiculous. You have to speak to me.

Fine, your choice. Your loss. Okay, so, where is the U.S. Embassy parking lot? That's the New Mill Road parking lot. That's where we lost you last time, so let's not park there. Did you say you lost me? Oh, yeah. When you were still knocked out, those two MI5 guys, Cole and Haynes, they stole you right there in that parking lot.

And then we stole you back. But then they stole you again, and then we dragged you just all around London for the better part of a day. That explains the bruises. Sorry about that. Now I can strike being a MacGuffin from my bucket list. But aren't you glad you ended up with us in the end? Oh, look, that must be the embassy parking lot.

Agents Mia Fox and Jackie Williams? Jackie, show your card. Sorry, ma'am, but the car park is full. What? Big event today. We don't have any space. It's oh-so-sad. Yes, it is sad, but we need to park. I'm afraid you'll have to park elsewhere. Are there any other parking spaces around here?

There's New Mill Road, but they're normally full this time of day. Yeah, we don't like New Mill Road. It can't be that hard to find somewhere to park, surely. We're in London, ma'am. Meaning? Good luck. Well, then, I don't know. Listen,

I am so angry, I don't even know where to start. The nerve, driving back to London when we had agreed to go to Scotland, going back to the embassy whilst I am asleep. We flint a coin. I don't let coins decide what I do. We agreed! I base my decisions on what's the right thing to do, and the right thing to do was going back.

The right thing to do? The right... You think coming here was right? Yes. Lord, give me strength. What? Right now, you look a lot like Justin Timberlake to me. Justin Timberlake? He broke up NSYNC.

Well, we still need to figure out where to park. I'll park the car. I need to be by myself. You can take the clown and bring him to Miss Kennedy. Okay, that's a good plan. That works. The only reason it's a good plan is because it's the only plan that is currently stopping me from breaking all your fingers. Geez. No, we had a good plan.

The good plan was to fake this guy's death, gather more evidence, and then take what we found to Miss Kennedy. fake this guy's death, gather more evidence, and then take what we found to Miss Kennedy. The plan was to make sure we came back with something solid so that she would excuse our methods, such as, I don't know, faking the death of a key suspect and going against a direct order to cooperate with MI5. That was a good plan. Uh, to be honest, Jackie, I always thought that plan was kind of... Your plan is to reveal to Miss Kennedy that we still have Kozlovsky, but without bringing her a shred of new evidence. He's alive, though.

Well, I wish you good luck. Truly. All the best to you on this valorous endeavor, because you are going to need it. Now get out of the car. Good luck finding a parking spot. Get out of the car. Thank you. The Amelia Project. Created by Philip Thorne and Ostein Braga, with music and sound direction by Frederik Baden.

Designed by Eli Hamada-McElveen. Episode 50. Mia Fox. I truly wanted to take you to Scotland. Forget it. Miss Kennedy's never going to allow it. What a shame. It is a very beautiful place. Where is she? How long has it been? 47 minutes and 26 seconds.

How do you know you don't have a watch? My body clock is accurate. Down to the second. Yeah, sure. I'll check my phone. Huh. Well, that was a good guess. It's been 47 minutes. It was not a guess.

No? Well, then you must have looked at a clock or something. I don't see any clocks in the hallway, though. I have not used clocks for many years. I find it much more accurate to simply feel the iron in my blood. What? My blood. The iron is affected by the gravitational pull of the sun and the moon. I have trained my senses to be acutely aware of my blood at all times.

So, at any given point, I can tell what time it is. Like a clock. That way I don't need technical remedies. All I need is presence of mind. Right. Anyhow, I hope Jackie's back soon. You do not want to face this Miss Kennedy on your own. Not particularly.

Even though you know that your partner is angry with you. Absurd, isn't it? Sorry, excuse me. Hi. Do you work here? I've been waiting for nearly an hour. Do you know when this event is over? It's oh so sad. It will last until the wee hours

of the morning with the after party and all. Yeah, it's tragic. Now, if you could- That's funny. What's funny? Your joke. What joke? The tragic joke. Oh, so sad, tragic. Um, yeah, so this event-

Oh, so sad? Sad or not, is there any way to get hold of one of the participants? I need to speak to Miss Kennedy. Sad or not? You've still got it! Got what? Can I or can I not to Miss Kennedy. Sad or not. You've still got it. Got what? Can I or can I not see Miss Kennedy? Miss Kennedy? Oh, she'll be in there for a while still. This is the Oh So Sad, remember?

The program is packed. The Oh So Sad. Yes, the Oh So Sad. The Overseas Security Organization's seminar and dinner. Right. Right. They just finished the roundtable on the prevention of cybercrime and how to get Mark Zuckerberg to pipe down. And now they're having salmon.

So I wouldn't have very high hopes of seeing anyone from that room anytime soon. Well, are you going in there? Can you give Miss Kennedy a message from me? Tell her Agent Mia Fox needs to see her. Say it's urgent. More urgent than gravlax with gin and juniper accompanied by Yo-Yo Ma and the trumpet? I thought Yo-Yo Ma played the cello. Exactly! This is not to be missed! I'll wait out here. Just please let Miss Kennedy know I'm here, will you? I will, if I see her. So, here we are.

Truer words were seldom spoken. Though dumber words by any token, even rarer yet. We should use this time to talk. About what? About something that's been bugging me. Please, go ahead. When I was assigned to this case, the Amelia Project Investigation, I started studying the brief, reading transcripts of interviews, listening to wiretaps. And as I was doing that, I noticed this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't shake. Through all of the interviews, there was one thing that stood out to me. One surreal thing that kept coming up again and again and again.

And what was that? Your preferred beverage. Mountain Dew. What? Mountain Dew. My preferred beverage. No. Cocoa. Ah, the cocoa.

What is it about the cocoa? What do you mean? Why serve it to all your clients? Why does your colleague drink so much of it? Is it a drug? Is it a codename for something? Have you added something to it? Tell me about the cocoa. Have you ever been close to death?

You're not answering my question. I think in time you will find that I am. Tell me about the cocoa. Have you ever been close to death? You're not answering my question. I think in time you will find that I am. Cocoa. Death. Have you experienced it? Do you mean like a near-death experience? That is one option. Another option would be if you have been in close proximity of someone else's death.

I mean, my grandma passed when I was a child, but I was so small I don't really remember it. I see. So, not really. I guess not. Not even as an agent of the CIA? You have not had to deal with fallen friends or extinguished enemies? Before I came to London, I worked in an office. This is my first field assignment.

Congratulations. Thanks. I guess. Too bad we're not actually in the field then, but rather sitting in a hallway at the U.S. Embassy. Where I was about to take you, there is a very beautiful, very literal feel. I'm in London for the first time in my life. It's one of the world's greatest capitals. As soon as I get a day off, I'm heading straight for the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace. I'm good. And you know nothing about death. That makes this very hard for me.

Why? Because if death has not marked you, I cannot expect you to understand. Woe is me. You actually? Yes. No, nothing. Please tell. No, I just, I thought of something, but I don't think it's what you're asking for, though. Please tell me anyway. I sense a story coming, and I love a good story. Well, I saved someone's life once. So I guess that means I was kind of close to death, I suppose, but I didn't really experience death as such. You have my ear.

All right. First I have to set the scene. I'm 19, and I am on the road with my band. You were in a band? I was a manager. Well, I kind of put this band together, like a supergroup kind of thing, only it was made up of teens from the tri-state area that had won a local singing contest or starred in some high school musical production. You created a band?

Yeah. That is a very dorky thing to do. Yep. Most people who are into music start playing an instrument. Anyhow, we were on tour. I mean, it was mostly bar mitzvahs and block parties, but our biggest gig was this outdoor Fourth of July event in a local park. Our set has just started, and I'm standing at the back of the park watching when this older guy comes up to me and starts asking me about the band. Turns out he's a bit of a music freak. He's

asking if the band has written all their own songs, which they had, and he was very impressed by that. When all of a sudden he gets a bit too excited. He forgets to take a break in between speaking and eating his corn dog, and suddenly he is choking on a big piece of meat. So I'm only 19, remember. I never experienced anything like this. So at first I'm kind of, well, embarrassed, I guess, on his behalf. He's crying and coughing and making a fool of himself. So I just look the other way and wait for him to finish the whole thing and clean himself up so we can pretend it never happened.

But he doesn't stop. He starts wheezing and his legs buckle and he falls to his knees. He's slapping his hand on this trash can right next to him like that's going to help. And nobody helps him because we're right at the back by some trees and no one can see us. And the band, my band is really loud and good, so everyone's looking the other way. So when I turn back to look at this man, well, he's blue, like Smurf blue. He looks like a Smurf had a baby with an avatar and then fed it nothing but blueberries. And I realize if I don't do something,

this man is going to die. So I do the Heimlich, which is a bit hard because he's on his knees crouching, so I have to bend down, sort of. But I do it. I grab him and I gather all my strength and I thrust once, twice, three times, breathe in once more and there it goes. Flies out of his mouth like a corndog rocket. And he lives. So you have looked into the face of death. Stared at his blue complexion. Hurt his ragged breath.

Well, that's the thing. For me, this story is about something completely different. No, so it turns out... Miss Kennedy! Mia! What are you doing here? I have to ask your advice. Where's Jackie? Parking the car.

What thing? You might not see her till morning. In the meantime, I wanted to ask you... Who is this? My name is Piet Kozlowski. Kozlowski? I thought you were dead. You are not the first, madam. Miss Kennedy, I... Mia, can you explain?

Yes, that's why I'm here. Did he fake his death? Did he run away and you apprehended him again? Uh, yes? No? Yes or no? No. I... We...

Agent Williams and Fox were kind enough to help me fake my death in return for information about the Amelia Project. Mia, is this true? Yes, but... Why didn't you inform me? We were going to. Mia, is this true? Yes, but... Why didn't you inform me? We were going to... Mia Fox! Did you go behind my back? I...

Madam, it was I who asked them to keep it secret. Why? I said if they told anyone, I would not disclose any information. I see. So what's this information? We haven't gotten it yet.

Why not? Because we have to go to Scotland? For the love of God, why? I am going to tell your agents a story. And I'm afraid I can only tell it if I'm at the place where it happened. You're taking them to a crime scene. No. It is not a crime scene.

It's a place in Scotland where... Yes? Well, it's... What? I... Yes. We... Go on!

I don't understand a word you're saying and I really need a smoke. Uh... I've been listening to Yo-Yo Ma and Trumpet Butcher and La Cucaracha for 15 minutes and I can't take it anymore! Madam, please feel free to attend to your needs. We promise to still be here when you return. Thank you! But, ma'am... We should let her smoke.

Without the nicotine, it seems she cannot focus. But... Ugh! Will you stop interrupting me when I'm speaking to Miss Kennedy? I was just trying to help. Well, you were annoying the fuck out of me. You were about to continue your story before Miss Kennedy arrived.

Yeah. This man whose life I saved, Mr. Anderson, he'd been a songwriter for the CIA. I beg your pardon? He'd been a songwriter for the CIA. The CIA employs songwriters? Sure. Mr. Anderson wrote Wind of Change, one of our biggest successes. Wind of Change?

Would that be the power ballad by some 80s rock band? The Scorpions. That allegedly brought down the Iron Curtain. That's the one. And Mr. Anderson wrote this song. For the CIA. And many others. The Barney theme song?

You could argue that's been almost as significant. In its own way. Anyhow, the CIA has a whole department dedicated to soft power. Soft power? Affecting change not through violence, but through appeal and attraction. I see. The CIA employs musicians, filmmakers, animators, TikTokers. Name a branch of the arts, we'll have someone exploiting its soft power potential

for the benefit of the United States of America. Any art form, you say? Any. That cannot be. Popular music, maybe. Films, certainly. I do believe in the power of the silver screen. But any art form? Try me. Fashion. We have designers working for Chanel, Versace, Lorraine, and Armani. If it hadn't been for the leather separates and cut-out dresses at the Paris Fashion Week in 1999, Hungary would never have joined NATO.

Modern art? Pollock, Warhol, Hockney, Magritte. Ceci ne pas une pipe. No, it's a piece of propaganda. I know one art form the CIA cannot possibly have corrupted. And that is? Cross-stitching. The CIA runs 44 cross-stitching clubs across the U.S.

Providing patriotic patterns to grandmas all over the country is a great way to keep up the national morale. You might not hang the homemade birthday present from granny above your bed, but the message will still come across. I will think about that the next time I suture a wound. I know the soft power branch like the back of my hand, because that is where I began my career with the CIA. Mr. Anderson wanted to repay me for saving his life, and he was impressed by my organizing skills. At the time, he was the head of the soft power department, or the wind of change, as we call it, and he offered me an internship as a cross-media production assistant. From there, I went on to assistant manage the Soft Power archives

before I took the big step. What is the big step? Training to become a protective agent. After training, I spent a few years in surveillance learning the ropes, and here I am. So your meeting with death is in fact a story about a new direction in life. Yes. I am glad.

From dorky teenager who assembles a band because she's got no friends to... International secret agent. Yeah. So you do know... Know what? That death is never about death. It is always about life.

Death is never about death? Seems like an exaggeration. And yet, I hold it up as my highest truth. Miss Kennedy, great, you're back. I am, but make it quick. I don't want to miss the next keynote speech. It's on how to train special agents for space missions. And before that starts, I have to order my selection for the accompanying tequila tasting.

Well, what I was trying to ask you earlier was... You wanted to know if I should let this criminal take you to Scotland. Yes. Why not? Because he should be here. In a holding cell. Why? Because we just heard back from Istanbul and all the information he gave us is, well, it's bullshit.

It was Istanbul shit. Oh, that's good. That's good, Mr. Kowalski. I like that. Okay, this is a serious matter. What is wrong with you two? My name is Kozlovski. Of course. I'm sorry. Kowalski is the tallest penguin in Madagascar. Of course. And the funniest.

You're right. He is the funniest one. And the funniest. You're right, he is the funniest one. Listen, Mia, when you get to Scotland, what is going to happen? I don't know. Well, I can tell you. Mr. Kozlovsky here is either going to tell you what you want to know, or he is not. Right.

And if you stay here and interrogate this man in a holding cell, what is going to happen then? Well, um... He's either going to tell you what you want to know, or he is not. Right. So that leaves you with the choice. Humoring Mr. Kozlovsky by taking him where he wants to go, hoping that he's in fact going to talk when he gets there, or keeping him here and torturing him. Whoa, torturing? Who said anything about torturing? How else are you going to extract information from an unwilling suspect?

Um... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You call it enhanced interrogation techniques all you want, but we're all friends here. Miss Kennedy, I... To be honest with you, we try to avoid that kind of thing when we're in the UK. Now, standards tend to loosen up a bit when we're at home or in certain other regions of the world, but when we're in Britain, do as the Limeys. While we're on the subject, I should probably disclose that I don't respond very well to torture.

Most people don't, sweetheart. No, I mean, I do not respond at all. I have conducted so many experiments on my body, I do not register pain anymore. Well, there you go. That settles it. You think we should go to Scotland? I'm curious about what's up there that could be so important. A story about friendship.

I want a full report when you get back. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Not you. Leave that to my agents. Sure will do, madam. Now, bait it. I'm about to order tasting menu A. Sure will do, madam. Now, bait it.

I'm about to order tasting menu A. Tequila sunrise to sunset. And once that arrives, I don't expect to be able to give any kind of intelligible advice for a while. I like her. Do you now? So, what's in the cocoa? You never answered my question. Tryptophan, phenylethylalanine, and theopromine.

I knew it. I knew it was drugs. Yes, they are powerful substances. What do they do? drugs. Yes, they are powerful substances. What do they do? Our clients come to us because they find themselves in unimaginable situations. Their circumstances are so particular that the only choice left is to die and be reborn. Sure. To alleviate their fear and dread. We provide tryptophan, which the body uses to create serotonin, the neurotransmitter producing feelings of happiness. Phenylethylalanine adds to this effect, acting as an antidepressant when it combines with the dopamine in the brain. Then there is theobromine, which is a chemical belonging to the methylxanthine family.

These are chemicals that act as stimulants of the nervous system and the heart. Theobromine contains high levels of flavanols, which improves blood vessel function, protecting against the harmful effects of psychological stress. It also lowers blood pressure, helping to prevent cardiovascular disease, thus lowering the mortality risk. In other words, the chemicals we serve our clients prepare them for what is about to happen. A stressful near-death experience, the loss of everything they know, and the immense task of starting over.

Wait a minute. Theobromine, phenol, whatever it was. These are just chemicals that are naturally found in cocoa beans, aren't they? Yes. Oh, that's it? Our clients frequently have to undergo radical reconstructive surgery. Then they might have to learn a new language or study for a new profession. They have to lay low for months before they can resurface. And once they start their new lives, it will take them years to truly settle in. All of this demands... Coco. Patience.

We serve our cocoa as it comes from Les Deux Magots with only one small addition. A few drops of patience. You're back. Oh, that took forever. I have been thinking. Did you find parking? Just hear me out, okay? Sure.

You were saying you did the right thing. That, yeah. Why did you think it was right? It's protocol. You confirm with a higher officer. That's what I thought. Mia, what you've got to understand is that there is no such thing as right or wrong. Of course there is. You either follow the law or you break it. The law, the rules, the protocol. Mia, the law isn't right. I'm not saying it's wrong either. What I'm saying is you cannot confuse terms like right and wrong with legal and illegal. Then how do you navigate, I don't know, life? The law isn't a God-given thing.

You can't say that. You work for law enforcement. I do not. Who do you work for, then? I work for the Central Intelligence Agency. And intelligence is a whole other ball game than law. And what, you don't think the two are linked? Okay, listen. Something that is legal in one country might be illegal in another. Something that was illegal ten years ago might be legal today. Laws are arbitrary and man-made, and they change. Which means, at the end of the day, there is no such thing as a law that can be trusted. You cannot have faith in the law. In fact, it makes little sense to even talk

about legal or illegal. What? All there is is politics, Mia. And for us, what matters is whether what we do is efficient or inefficient in achieving those political goals. That's how you see it? Yes, that's how I see it. When you are an international agent and you are in the field, what law do you follow? The local law? U.S. law? International law? I'd think. If you're placed in a war zone, which laws are valid then? Military law? The laws that were there before the war broke out? Or the new laws of the insurgents?

That depends on which side we're on in that particular conflict. Baby, it's never that clear cut. Whichever law you choose to follow, once you follow one law, you've broken another. You do the right thing according to one group, you've got another group waiting to cut your head off. And that's just internally in the CIA. Which is why you do what you think is right. The CIA. Which is why you do what you think is right. When your partner is lying on the ground unconscious, bleeding from multiple gunshot wounds,

moments away from death, do you run after the shooter? Do you capture the criminal whom you've been chasing for over a year, that your country has spent thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to apprehend? A person whose arrest or death would save hundreds, maybe thousands of lives? Or do you haul the body of your partner into a car and try to save her life? You both knew your lives were on the line. Sacrificing yourself for your country, that's part of the job description. This is very specific.

I think this has happened, has it not? I'm... so... sorry, I... What did you do? Me? Yes. Did you catch the shooter, or did you try to save your partner's life? I did nothing. I was bleeding to death. Oh.

But my partner hauled me into a car and got me to a hospital. And that was the right thing to do. Then, three years later, when you discover the same partner snorting cocaine through a rolled-up classified document together with a Saudi Arabian secret agent, do you report her? Or do you let it slide because this person saved your life? What is the right thing to do in that situation, Mia Fox. I... I don't know. You and I, Mia. Us? Agents. Very quickly we learned that there is no law or rule or protocol that is right. Because none of those things are constant. No. What is right is a felt thing. It's in your gut. And either you feel that or you don't. And if you don't, you shouldn't be here. Because when you are in the field, there is only one constant that you can rely on, and that is loyalty. You always have to know where your loyalty lies.

I need to be able to trust you, Mia. Because if we can't trust each other, we cannot work together. Because we are not going to survive that. I understand. I'm sorry. I made the wrong decision. Yes, you did. Let's go to Scotland.

Are you sure? Yes. No turning back this time? No messing around? I promise. Great. Let's go. Oh, fuck. Dammit. What? The car. Great. Let's go. Oh, fuck. Damn it.

What? The car. It's parked all the way by Covent Garden. Where's that? It's an hour's walk. An hour? You parked an hour away? This is London. There is no parking. It would be nice to stretch our legs. I promise I will not try to run off. Yeah, right.

We have to pass the West End. We could get some last-minute tickets. I have been meaning to see the mousetrap. So, are you getting the car and bringing it here, or... We're taking a taxi. We're taking a taxi to the car. Yes, and you're paying. Let's go. Sure. Come on, Kazi. I am not a character on the Muppet Show.

We once faked the death of a Muppet. It was one of the chickens. So, did you see Miss Kennedy? Not important. But did you? Doesn't matter. You did, didn't you? Maybe.

So, what'd she say? Nothing. She told you to. You did, didn't you? Maybe. So what'd she say? Nothing. She told you to go to Scotland, didn't she? I said it's not important. Kozlovsky, what did Miss Kennedy say? My loyalty is stretched very taut right now. credits and epilogue coming up but first an announcement on the 5th of march we'll be doing our first video live stream show of 2022 we'll be performing episodes four to six of the patreon bonus series the alvina archives featuring the interviewer Alvina Nkoslowski. You can watch it either live or on replay by becoming a patron of the show from just $5.

We're so thankful for all of our patrons. We've got some really big and exciting plans for the show coming up. And those plans are only possible through patron support. So you'll be helping us make those a reality too. For more info, go to ameliapodcast.com and click on support the show. Today's episode was written, directed and edited by Einstein Breger, with story editing by Philip Thorne. It was designed by Eli Hamada-McElveen,

with music by Frederick Barden and audio engineering by Dominic Hargreaves. It featured Erin King as Mia Fox, Jordan Cobb as Jackie Williams, Hemi Yeroham as Kozlowski, Mama Bangbang as Miss Kennedy, Kiba Walker as the embassy worker, Graham Rowett as the security guard, and Yo-Yo Ma on the trumpet.

We wish. Production assistance by Marti Parzival and graphic design by Anders pedersen incidentally you can find all of anders's amazing designs on mugs t-shirts and more by visiting our web shop at ameliapodcast.com thanks to all our patrons and as always a shout out to our super patrons those are angel asavedo sophia anderson jem fididdick, Alban Assant, Amelie and Alison, Stephanie Weidenhiller, Mintz and such, Rafael Eduardo Vifas Verastaki and JK Robbins. And now, the epilogue. Oh, there's one. Hello. Hi. It was taken. The light was off.

It was taken. The light was off. Hi. Hey. Hello. Also taken. If you just wait a second, I'll order one. I'm already on the phone. And how's that going? They haven't picked up yet, but... And how long have you been waiting? For as long as we've been standing here, but... No, stop. Stop. He turned the light off when he saw me. Rude!

In den Fütze, na na na na Na na na na, Regenbogen Wolken is am Winterin Na na na na na na na Du du du Über den Wolken Over the clouds, freedom must be unlimited. Over the clouds. What? What?

Über. You could call an Uber. Oh, yeah. What? What? Uber. You could call an Uber. Oh, yeah. Jackie, why don't you order... Nope.

Nah. Nah. I don't think so. Why not? I, uh... Don't have the best rating. How bad? My rating is... The Uber appps equivalent of a restraining order.

You must have snapped really bad. That's not what happened. Okay, then what did happen? That is personal, and I won't discuss it. And in my defense, I thought he was flirting back. You made a passenger Uber driver? It is not sexual harassment if... Oh, oh.

Uh, hi. Hi. Yes, we need a taxi to pick us up. We're outside of the U.S. Embassy. Now? Yeah. No, I haven't pre-booked. Yes, I know it's Saturday afternoon.

Oh, hi. Hello? You haven't got any cars? Not a single car available? Not until Monday? Right. Thanks anyway. Hello? Stop! His light was on, I swear.

Yeah. So? It is a beautiful afternoon. Does anyone fancy a stroll? The Fable & Folly Network. Where fiction producers flourish. Contact Day is in but a few short months, which means it is time to begin preparations for the bi-decennial festival.

This year, we are celebrating every single one of you living in my beloved windfall. It is not our business to question the Queen's will. It is not our business to do anything but follow it. It is you and your loyalty that has laid the groundwork for this incredible utopian society that we seek for. Do you have any idea what's going on with us? Keep your mouth shut, grump. It is the duty of each and every one of you

to do everything you can to make the festival a success this year. Are you ready to speak kindly with me now, child? I have no doubt that this year will be one for the history books. And that will be due in no small part to the dedication of my adoring self.