The Amelia Project - Episode 55 - Patience

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

“Are those... antlers?” With Jordan Cobb, Hemi Yeroham, Erin King, Torgny G. Aanderaa and Benjamin Noble  Written by Oystein Ulsberg Brager Story editing and sound editing by Philip Thorne  Sound design by Adam Raymonda Directed by Philip Thorne and Oystein Ulsberg Brager Sound recording by Dominic Hargreaves Music by Fredrik Baden Graphic design by Anders Pedersen Production assistance by Maty Parzival For full credits see our website.  Website: ameliapodcast.com  Transcripts: ameliapodcast.com/transcripts  Twitter: @amelia_podcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details.

Cold tapes. A gripping crime story that will chill you to the bone. You know, life on the base means, well, it's close to six months without light. That does things to people that study that he was doing to watch us and then set off us like mice around this special little experiment how many people are on this space 16 on this one someone amongst them is our killer experience cold tapes the murder mystery podcast game. Start your investigation where you get your podcasts. Hello, dear Amelia listeners.

This is the penultimate episode of season four. There will be one more episode in two weeks. After that, we'd love to keep making the show, but it depends entirely on listener support. If you enjoy our stories and would like us to keep telling them, please do consider becoming a patron via Patreon. Patreon is like a subscription service where you can choose to pledge a set amount per new episode from as little as $2.

Think of it like buying a cup of cocoa each time we release a new episode. For more info on how to support us, either via Patreon or with a one-off donation, visit ameliapodcast.com. And now, on with the show, this episode is dedicated to Kevin Rowland. Enjoy. Enjoy. It's really dark out here, isn't it? You never see darkness like this in London. Oh, well, I can't see a bloody thing. Huh. Oh! Why couldn't I just stay on the A65?

Well, this is the scenic route. It's about as scenic as a black hole. I swear, once we hit that dirt road, I felt like we'd passed the event horizon. Now we're caught in a moment that will never pass. Forever being swallowed into darkness. Well, listen to you, learned astronomer. I'm just going to pop on the lights for just one second.

Don't! What? What are you doing? They'll see us. So what? They'll see your car. They won't know that it's us. They think they're alone. Don't make them take an even more scenic route. What, you mean off-road? There's no smaller road than this.

I wouldn't put it past them. I promise you, we're going to end up hitting a tree or... Oh, God, you're doing fine. Just keep following their taillights. What if an animal just runs into the road? Then just run over it. Fine. Stop.

What? Stop the car. They're stopping. What? Quiet now. Why do you think they're stopped? I think they might have... I'm not sure.

They're getting out of the car. Do you think they're going for a leak again? Seems that surgeon has the blood of the size of a peanut. Look. That's what I thought I saw. What? In front of the car. On the ground.

Hang on. Are those... Are those antlers? It's a bloody deal. The Amelia Project Created by Philip Thorne and Øystein Ulspek Braga with music and sound direction by Frederik Baden. Designed by Adam Raimonda. Episode 55. Patience.

Where are we? Closer. Before we turned off the main road, I saw signs for Killing Hall, Gar Grave, and Endmore. This area's creepy. Not if you saw it in the light. In daytime, it is majestic. Old trees, ospreys in summer. Birds of prey.

Oh, that's especially creepy. Why? Beaks. Trust me, if you saw this place tomorrow, your eyes could not choose but to open up to the harmony. Like a deer in the headlights. Oh, no. What the fuck was that? Okay, that's... That's bizarre. All right, let's get out. Just as I said, a deer in headlights? Assess the damage. Come on.

I will follow too. Uh, yes. Ooh, whoa. So big. Look at those antlers. A majesty. King of the forest. I'm gonna check if it's dead. Careful.

What? Well, what if it's not? It could poke your eyes out with those things. An animal like that could hurt you. I'm sure it's fine. Okay, have you watched when animals attack? It is true. Strength. Grace. Force. Fine. You do it. Me?

Yes. Check if it's actually dead. But no funny business. If you try to run, I will shoot you. Death by bullet is not my favorite. I will avoid it. Are we sure he should be touching it? It's a dead animal. What, you think it's started to rot already?

Touching dead animals is what he does. Well, dead humans, mostly. He's not wearing gloves. There's blood. Gloves? I do not use gloves. I cannot work my magic using gloves. You do type on the computer, right? Try wearing mittens when you're doing that. Try firing a gun wearing oven mitts. Hmm?

Magic thrives on freedom. Magic? I am feeling for his pulse. Right. Well, I know one thing that's magic. Looks like the car survived. A bump in the hood, but nothing too bad. What kind of deer is it?

A red deer. Largest mammal on these islands. Same eyes as that buck on the riverbank. Is it... It is time, I think, to observe the moment. What does that mean? A small service in his honor. Can't we just drag it off the road and chuck it in a bush or something?

We just took a life, Mia. Let's... Observe. Observe. Observe the moment. Fine. Whatever. It's good to get some fresh air. So what do we... what do we do? Do we just stand here? I would like to tell a story. That seems appropriate. I once knew a man who had a wife.

A house, a job, a car, a normal life. He would come home from work, and his wife would have dinner ready. He would go golf from work and his wife would have dinner ready. He would go golfing on the holidays. He would seldom drink, but he would smoke a cigar on New Year's Eve. One day, his wife got a letter in the mail. The man recognized the letterhead. It was from his attorney of law.

So he opens it, even though it was sent to her the letter surprises him it says please would she consider that it is now time to meet and would she make an appointment with them very soon she can no longer hold off having her husband's last will and testament read to her, and she needs to decide what to do with his estate. But there must have been a mistake. When the wife comes home, he shows her the letter, and she's as surprised as he is. He tries to call the attorney, but the connection is really bad and he gives up. Instead, he tells his wife to try calling them the next day while he's out golfing.

At the golf club, his membership card does not work. He simply cannot get in through the front gates, so he gives up and goes home. Arriving back, he finds his wife crying at the dinner table. She has received a huge bouquet of flowers from some distant relatives, sending their condolences on her recent loss. The man is furious. He throws the flowers at the wall, shouting in anger. Is this a joke? Is someone playing a trick on him? Why does everyone think he's dead?

They go to see the attorney. At the reception, the receptionist talks only to his wife. As if he is not even there. In the meeting, the same thing happens. The man feels entirely invisible. It is a very new feeling to him. He does not know what to do with it. And they return home, perplexed.

It's quite chilly. Can we get moving? Let him finish the story. It's a really long story. We just killed a deer. Exactly. It's just a deer. A red deer. I don't give a red fuck. Over the next couple of days,

similar things keep happening. A bill arrives in the post for a very expensive funeral service. He finds a number of booklets lying on the mantelpiece. The funeral order of service, with his picture on the front. Not a very good picture. One where he has a goofy smile. One of the booklets has blotches of smeared ink as if it has been cried on

the man gets his wife to call in sick for him he figures he needs some time to get his head straight but the person in HR gets angry and yells at the wife down the phone please stop prank calling claiming to call on behalf of recently deceased members of staff. How rude. But the worst of all is,

gradually, every day, his wife talks to him less and less and less and less. Yeah, we see where this is going. Can you cut to the chase? One day, as his wife is on the computer, he looks over her shoulder and sees her booking a holiday. Just for her. Where are you going? He asks. She does not reply.

Why are you going alone? he asks. She does not reply. Why are you going alone? he asks. She does not reply. Why are you ignoring me? he shouts. But still... No sound. Correct. Instead, the wife only shudders. As if there is a draft in the room.

This is fucking creepy. The man is furious. What has he done to deserve this? He grabs the nearest thing, a mirror, and throws it on the floor. His wife jumps, clears up the broken glass, but still does not talk to him. A few days later, she has packed her bags. She gets into her car. He follows her in his car.

She drives to the airport and heads to check in. He follows. She shows the airport staff her passport and gets her boarding ticket. He walks up after her, shows them his passport, says he would like a ticket too. Do they have anything on the same flight? He has decided to join his wife on short notice, but the airport staff just walk off, as if he was not there. And it's only when he sees his wife disappearing through security, with a tickling air of lightness about her,

that the man realizes what has been obvious all along. He's dead. This is a ghost story. I just got shivers. Great, let's dump this animal and get in the car. We need to keep going. The story is not over. No? No. At first, the man is dumbfounded by his discovery.

He is a ghost. What does that mean? But then, it dawns on him. This is the ultimate freedom. He can do anything, go anywhere, own anything. So he drives to a car dealer, a very expensive car dealer, and gets into an Aston Martin Vantage and drives off without paying. What? A ghost story with a happy ending? Not for this man. A few blocks down the road, the police stop the car and arrest him. What? I don't understand. I thought he was a ghost.

Oh, no. He was as alive as you or me. But... He was as alive as you or me. The justice system had real trouble with his case, though, seeing as the man he claimed to be was confirmed dead. But nevertheless, he was tried and found guilty, facing a healthy prison sentence. This story makes no sense. When he finally came out of jail, his wife was nowhere to be found. Gone for good.

Their house had been sold, he could not access any of his bank accounts, and he hit a final dead end, tracing her to an empty savings account in the Cayman Islands. You see, when I first met Steffi Fuchs, his wife, she had suffered years of manipulation, gaslighting, and psychological abuse from her husband. She had had enough, so we helped her fake a remarkable death. Only it wasn't her death you faked. It was his death. You just didn't tell him.

I still think about her sometimes. Imagining her reading romance novels and drinking margaritas poolside at some all-inclusive resort, living off what he left her. I thought you didn't do involuntary deaths. We made an exception. So what's the moral of the story, that being an ass doesn't pay? No, that death is not about loss or disintegration. It is about rejuvenation. Because all flowers grow from the rotten corpses of their parents. Why are you... Why are you unscrewing the thing?

What are you doing? Why are you touching the deer? What is you doing? Why are you touching the deer? What is he doing? He's... Uh... Seems like he's tilting the deer's head back. No, he's... He's removing his necklace?

What? No, it's is removing his necklace? What? No, it's that vial around his neck. Oh. Is he... feeding the deer? Oh. We... Ah, these are the last drops I have left. We will see if it's enough.

Why are you... Poor dear. My poor, poor friend. Can you breathe now? Stop stroking it. Gross. It might have lice. You're washing your hands before you get back in the car. Can we just track it off the road and... It's stirred.

No, that was just a trick of the light. There's hardly any light. Yeah, exactly. Look! It moved again! Good boy. It's blinking. Good boy. It's blinking. Good boy. Um...

There you go. Good boy. Run off, my friend. Run. What? What the hell just happened? Rejuvenation. The foremost quality of the phoenix is its ability to wait for the inevitable. It will burn, it will die, and it will rise from the ashes.

Wait, and have patience. Patience? There's that word again. You said you bottled it. And you told me that's what you're adding to the cocoa. Drops of... Patience. This doesn't make any sense. Ah.

I will take you to remote locations. To the edge of your imaginations. Where medicine meets magic. Are you willing? Are you brave? There is a life beyond the grave. I'll be your guide and you will see. The world is full of mystery.

Though I am afraid that was the last of it. Can you make more? All my labs have been raided. I don't believe this. I... Clean your hands. Do you have soap and water? I have some wipes in my bag. clean your hands. Do you have soap and water? I have some wipes in my bag. Just... Jackie.

Yes? The question is not, do you want to live forever? No. No. The question is, do you want to live tomorrow? Alright, everybody back in the car. Let's go to Scotland. I want to hear the story.

Stay tuned for the epilogue, but first the credits. This episode was written by Einstein-Ulzburg Braga with story and audio editing by Philip Thorne, directed by Philip Thorne and Einstein-Ulzburg Braga, designed by Adam Raymunder with music by Frederick Barden and engineering by Dominic Hargreaves. It featured Torgny G. Ondero as Cole, Benjamin Noble as Haynes, Jordan Cobb as Jackie, Aaron King as Mia, and Hemi Yeroham as Kozlovsky. Graphic design by Anders Pedersen and production assistance by Marty Patsyvay. If you enjoy the show and want to help keep it running, consider becoming a supporter via Patreon.

Not only do you help pay the people making the show, you also get access to some great bonus perks. Next weekend, for example, we're hosting a video livestream crossover show with one of our favourite fellow fiction podcasts, Where the Stars Fell. And you can watch that live by becoming a supporter on Patreon. For more info on how to become a supporter, visit ameliapodcast.com. We would be so, so grateful. A shout out to our super patrons, Kevin Rowland, Angel Acevedo, Sophia Anderson, Jem Fiddick, Auburn, Asant, Amelie and Alison, Stephanie Weidenhiller, Mince and such, Rafael Eduardo Vifas Verastaki and J.K. Robbins.

For transcripts, merch, bonus material and ways to support the show, visit ameliapodcast.com. And now, the epilogue. What the actual fucking fuck was that? That, my friend, was a classic ruse. I mean, it's vile, filled with nothing but tap water and a dead deer that was never dead to begin with. It's very, very easy to do magic in the dark.

I feel a bit shaky. You know what? There are two large, cold pints of gin waiting for us once this job is done. Oh, sounds good. All right, they're getting into the car. Let's get moving. It's your turn to drive. No, you can just keep going.

No, I've been driving for forever, No, you can just keep going. No, I've been driving for forever, so... We can't switch sides. They'll hear the car doors. No, no, no, just scoot over. Wait, why, Cole? Why don't you just keep going for a bit longer? Come on, please, my eyes are going loopy. Come on. Just stay in your seat. Come on, move. Scoot over here. I was in your seat already. Come on, please. My eyes are going loopy. Come on. Just stay in your seat. Come on, move. Scoot over here. I was in your seat already. Come on. Fine, fine. I'll move. I'll watch your elbow.

It's difficult. Difficult. See? Nice and easy. Come on, then. The Fable and Falling Network. Where fiction producers flourish. Hello! Contact Day is in but a few short months,

which means it is time to begin preparations for the bi-decennial festival. This year, we are celebrating every single one of you living in my beloved Windfall. It is not our business to question the Queen's will. It is not our business to do anything but follow it. It is you and your loyalty that has laid the groundwork for this incredible utopian society that we seek for.

Do you have any idea what's going on with us? Keep your mouth shut, grump. It is the duty of each and every one of you to do everything you can to make the festival a success this year. Are you ready to speak kindly with me now, child. I have no doubt that this year will be one for the history books. And that will be due in no small part to the dedication of my adoring son. Ah!

Ah! Windfall, a dystopian science fiction podcast from Rogue Dialogue.