The Amelia Project - Episode 57 - Ross (2001)

Episode Date: September 9, 2022

"Is this more of a Hannibal Lecter or a Magneto sort of situation?" With Alan Burgon, Julia C. Thorne, Graham Rowat, Federico Trujillo, Hemi Yeroham, Jordan Cobb and Erin King. Written by Oystein Ulsb...erg Brager Directed by Philip Thorne and Oystein Ulsberg Brager Sound design by Adam Raymonda Music by Fredrik Baden For full credits and transcript, check our website. Website: https://ameliapodcast.com Transcripts: https://ameliapodcast.com/transcripts Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast Donations: https://ameliapodcast.com/support Twitter: https://twitter.com/amelia_podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ameliapodcast/ Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ameliapodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. Sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets. See app for details.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Cold tapes. A gripping crime story that will chill you to the bone. You know, life on the base means, well, it's close to six months without light. That does things to people that study that he was doing to watch us and then set off us like mice around this special little experiment how many people are on this space 16 on this one someone amongst them is our killer experience cold tapes the murder mystery podcast game. Start your investigation where you get your podcasts. Hello, dear Amelia listeners.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Welcome back and welcome to Season 5, Part 1. This episode is dedicated to Rodney Dullergy, who would like us to fake his death during a bike race, taking a turn a bit too fast and going over a cliff. We will resurrect Rodney as a mechanic in a bike shop in the Netherlands. Enjoy the show. So... So... So... So...
Starting point is 00:01:31 So... You're going to tell me your story? Yes. From end to beginning. You're sure you don't want to... You know... Start with the beginning? No. This isn't one of your interviews.
Starting point is 00:01:50 What do you mean? There's no need to be clever or play mind games with me. Oh, it's not that. It's just easier this way. Easier? Really? Well, you know my memory has been slipping lately.
Starting point is 00:02:07 I thought that was just your short-term memory. I think working my way backwards will help me remember things. Very well. How long will it take? As long as we need. Stories, just like Coco, should never be rushed. I have until sunrise. Such a clear night. Yes. I didn't think you could get such starry skies in a city.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Montmartre is the highest place in Paris. Look, you can even see Pisces. I know nothing about the stars. See that star there? I have no idea where you're pointing. It's brighter than the others. Okay, I think I see it. Then there's a star below, and a star below that, forming a line.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Right. Then another line of stars going up, like a V-shape. And then, at the very end, a little circlet for the head. Head? Well, Pisces is a fish. It looks nothing like a fish. Yes, well, you have to use your imagination, Alvina. Seeing a fish in that takes a lot of imagination.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Well, the fish is a more recent interpretation. Ancient Babylonians saw it as two separate objects. A great swallow and the Lady of Heaven. Chinese astronomers saw it as a farmer's fence that kept animals from escaping. Neither of those really does it for me either. Well, what do you see? I just see a bunch of stars.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I mean, it's beautiful. Really beautiful. I just don't see the need to project anything else onto it. What's that big star? The one to the right of your V? That's, um... Well, that's not a star, Alvina.
Starting point is 00:04:02 What do you mean? That's Mars. Really? I didn't know you could see that with the naked eye. Yes, it's one of the easier planets to spot. But it is unusual to see it so early in the night. Well done, Alvina. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:04:18 What is it? What are you thinking about? Klipturk. Excuse me? Klipturk. Excuse me? Klipturk. Are you all right? Should we... Should I get help? Is this... Are you...
Starting point is 00:04:36 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm fine, Alvina. I was just thinking about a client. A client? Yes. Called... No, of course not. Don't be silly. Oh, I…
Starting point is 00:04:47 His name was Ross. That is a more normal name. Oh, nothing about this client was normal. Well, come on then. I can see you want to tell me about this Ross. I haven't thought about it for a while. This was twenty years ago. Are you sitting comfortably?
Starting point is 00:05:10 Very comfortably. Then let me tell you a little story. Terima kasih telah menonton! The Amelia Project, created by Philip Thorne and Øystein Ulsbeck-Braga, with sound direction by Frederik Baden and sound design by Adam Raimonda. Episode 57. Ross. 2001. Area 51, eh? You took your time. It's already January 22nd, 2001. We contacted you last year.
Starting point is 00:06:24 We tend to get rather busy whenever there's a change of president over here. Always a lot of people who feel the need to escape before the inauguration. But I'm here now, and I'm so excited. No one knows you're here? Of course not. My disguise worked perfectly. I went for crazy UFO enthusiast to blend in with the crowds outside your gate. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:47 It was a bit too hard figuring out which one was you. I said I would be wearing a cocoa stain on my lapel. Nope. Right here. See? Hardly sets you apart. People outside that gate don't wash their clothes that often. Yes, well, I doubt
Starting point is 00:07:03 the cocoa stains on their shirts are from Les Dumas Gaux. Yes, well, I doubt the cocoa stains on their shirts are from Le Dumas Gaux. Well, it doesn't matter. I spotted you. You certainly did, Captain. May I call you Scott? Sure.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Thanks. Riding a super-secret elevator. Ha! You know, this is nearly as exciting as when Elvis almost choked on a chocolate chip cookie right before we faked his heart attack. Yes, yes, that was us. Would you like to hear the story? You see, Kozlovsky was hiding in the bathtub preparing the injection that we were going to put...
Starting point is 00:07:46 Right, listen. No one's allowed in Area 51 without top clearance, okay? And you don't have top clearance. Which means I'm out on a real limb. Just... Please stay focused. Right, yes. Apologies.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Where are we going? The basement Basement, right Yes Very deep basement The less you know, the better Oh, yes Mom's the word. Can't I even ask which floor we're going to? No.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Only a handful of people know how many underground floors there are in Area 51. And I'm not even one of those people. What the devil was that? Not our floor. And what's on our floor? Not what. Who? The client. That's right.
Starting point is 00:08:58 And who's the client? I'd rather you discovered that for yourself. Okay. And why couldn't the client come to my office? He's not allowed out of Area 51. That's kind of the issue. Should I be scared? Depends what you're scared of. Nothing. Except penguins. Then you shouldn't be scared. It's not a penguin.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Good. If it was a penguin, we'd have a problem. Listen! Why did you hit the emergency brake? You've got to understand, I'm putting my neck on the line by bringing you here. My bosses don't know. They mustn't find out. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I've just snuck you into the most heavily guarded military base in the u.s. possibly in the world I've hired you to do a job and you have said yes to doing that job that means you will do that job even if the client should happen to be a penguin is that clear as clear as Bill Clinton's dance card. What does that mean? It's clear. Good. I'm sorry for being curt. I can't afford to have this go wrong. I don't want to end up in the stockade. I've got a little kid, you know. Oh, you do? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:31 Yeah, lovely age. Yes. ages. Huge, fluffy toys. Which we have to bring back and forth to daycare every day. She can't spend a minute without them. In the beginning, the guards would stop us to examine her toys every time we passed. What? Her daycare center is here? Inside Area 51?
Starting point is 00:10:58 Sure. It's one of the perks of serving here. Stressful job, high risk, top secret, but we have some decent benefits. Like free daycare. I'm impressed. Safest place in the world to leave your kid, isn't it? No one gets in here. Yes. Apart from me. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Right. Tell me more about Jess Well every day Ralph and Mickey They're the entrance guards would cut open Jess's toys. Oh, which would make her cry of course of course Then they'd have to stitch him up again to make her stop Monday to Friday we went through the same charade. It went on for months. Drove Ralph and Mickey mad.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Oh, the poor thing. But what happened? In the end, they just gave up. Now they just squeeze the toys a bit and let us through. Now that's pester power for you. All right, this is our floor. Oh. Well, feed me gumdrops and call me Grandma.
Starting point is 00:12:15 This place is huge! Hello? Welcome to the most secret part of the most secret basement in the most secretive military base in the world. Look at that glass cell. Who's inside? Is this more of a Hannibal Lecter or a Magneto sort of situation?
Starting point is 00:12:36 Neither. Why are the lights off? He likes darkness. Reminds him of home. Now listen. He's a friend of mine. You understand? If you mess up, I will have to shoot your pretty face off. Tell my superiors you broke in here. Understand? Do you really think my face is pretty? You get what I'm saying? You tick off these three boxes, or you tick me off, okay?
Starting point is 00:13:00 Okay. Um, what boxes? Number one. Absolute secrecy. No one must ever know who you've spoken to today. My lips are sealed tighter than a camel's butt in a sandstorm. Two. Success. Either this goes smoothly or... Or my face will end up detached from my body. Affirmative. Got it. Three. You only have... fifteen minutes. Right. But what 15 minutes? Why? Because you were so damn
Starting point is 00:13:30 late. And in 15 minutes, we're going to be discovered by the new commander in chief. By George Bush Jr.? That's what I just said. Can you do it? Well, I do love a challenge. I mean, without risk, life is so boring, you know. Well, go on then. Enter. I'll wait out here and keep lookout. I'll watch you through the glass. Right. Hello? Where is the client? He's right there.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Ah, Scott, you can hear me. Look, there's no one in here but me and that small inflatable doll that looks like a clichéd green alien. I'm not green. I'm chartreuse. Good Lord, it talks. And I'm only chartreuse because it's winter. In summer, I'm a much more flattering taupe. Shave me like a bearded lady. You're... Also, I'm not small.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I'm two foot four, actually, and for my species, that's... More like two-two, I'd say. I'm two foot four. Are you the Roswell alien? My friends call me Ross. Short for Roswell. No, it's short for Rosencrantz, actually. Rosencrantz? Really?
Starting point is 00:14:55 That's a very, um, human name. Is it? Well, yes. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are both characters in... My grandfather was called Rosencrantz. My great-grandfatherz and Guildenstern are both characters in... My grandfather was called Rosencrantz. My great-grandfather was called Guildenstern. No. Really? But they're characters in Hamlet. I mean, I should know. I once played the gravedigger.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Where do you think old Willie got his names from? Get a move on. But this is incredible. You mean to tell me that Shakespeare fraternized with aliens? I mean... Yep. My grandfather played Puck in the original production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Well, I'll be damned.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Pleasure to meet ya. Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, no, no, no. The pleasure's all mine. I'm sorry if I'm a bit worked up. You see, Rosencrantz, this is my first time shaking hands with an extraterrestrial. My name is not Rosencrantz. It's not? But you said it...
Starting point is 00:15:55 I was having you on. God, you're such a chump. Knock, knock. Anybody home? There were no aliens in the Midsummer Night's Dream. Oh, yes. No, of course there weren't, yes. Good one. Ross, so how come you're here? Are you really about to start that whole where are you really from shtick?
Starting point is 00:16:17 Because I'm sick of that bullshit. No, I'm just curious what brought you to Earth. Well, I was sent to check how you were doing. Then I had a spot of trouble with a solar flare and crash landed in the New Mexico desert. And I've been a prisoner in Area 51 ever since. Ain't that right, buddy? Yeah. Scott's nodding.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Well, don't you worry. I'm here to help you escape. Oh. So you're who Scott got me, eh? I'm the best in the business. We'll see about that. My case is pretty unique. We've helped people escape prison before. I don't just want to get out. I want to escape Bush Jr.
Starting point is 00:16:59 Who will be here in less than 14 minutes. About that, why is the president coming? The briefing. Which is? Every new U.S. president has to go through what they call the briefing. It's the important information you're only given after you're sworn in. The top, top, top secret stuff. I am chapter three, bullet point two. What's Bullet Point 1? You mean, who's Bullet Point 1? Yes, I do. I mean, who is Bullet Point 1? You don't want to know. I do.
Starting point is 00:17:32 As part of the briefing, the new president is always brought to Area 51 to see me with their own eyes. And he's going to be here in 13 minutes and 3 seconds. Yes, thank you, Scott. Um, Ross, now, if I remember correctly, you've been here since 1947. It's now 2001. Why haven't you escaped before? The answer to that stands right there.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Scott? Yep. He only started working here seven years ago. I'm not allowed outside. I'm not allowed phone calls. I'm a prisoner. Without a friend, I can't do shit. Never mind escape. But why only now, if you've known Scott for seven years? Two reasons. One is it takes time to build a friendship. When Scott was first assigned to my detail, we didn't get on. Because you didn't like illegal aliens, did you, buddy?
Starting point is 00:18:27 Ha! That's right. Thumbs down, boo! You didn't appreciate my wise-cracking ass. But, you know, sometimes there are slow nights when I'm not being poked and prodded. And on such a night, a few years back, I managed to convince Scott to play a round of poker. I beat him bad. Yeah! Thumbs down, boo! Scott couldn't let an alien beat him, so we had to play another round. Then it was best out of three,
Starting point is 00:18:54 and that was the beginning of a long line of late-night poker games. Slowly, Scott gave in to my extraterrestrial charms. We started talking, Scott would tell me about Jess, and I would tell him about my little kid back on Klootork. We bonded. And here we are. You said there were two reasons
Starting point is 00:19:12 it's taken you so long. What's the other? The other is that we've been lax. The last eight years have been a breeze. When Bill came here... Clinton? Yeah, Billy. He shook my hand,
Starting point is 00:19:28 lifted my peyote pan and told them to ease up on the testing. I've had nearly a decade without a single anal probe. Now, with the new guy, anal's back on the table, for sure. And worse. How do you know? Know his dad, don't I? Last time there was a bush in office, they experimented on me in ways that make Dr. Doom look like Dr. Doolittle. Those bastards.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Well, I guess we need to get you out of here, then. In the next twelve minutes. Although, there is one more thing I don't understand. Why doesn't Scott just let you out? Scott, why don't you just let Ross out? Just do your job, goddammit. We're almost at eleven minutes. Scott, that countdown really isn just let Ross out? Just do your job, goddammit. We're almost at 11 minutes. Scott, that countdown really isn't doing it for me.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Either you hurry up, or I come in there and shoot you in the face. Well, he's getting very agitated, isn't he? Ross, maybe you could explain to me why Scott doesn't just let you out? Sure. First of all, chances are we'd get caught. Which would be bad for both of us. I'd start digging a hole six feet deep bad. Then secondly, if I actually got out of here alive, I'd still have to go somewhere. But where? Wherever I go, if someone finds me, I end up being experimented on. I know that for last time. So you have escaped before? To Guatemala. 1954. Jacobo got me safely across the border. I thought he'd let me go when
Starting point is 00:20:54 we got there. Couldn't have been more wrong. The treatment down there was much worse than here. To be honest, I was lucky to be such an important asset to the states. They overthrew Hakuo just to get me back. Oh, Mike, you were the reason the CIA overthrew the Guatemalan government in 1954. Yep, you won't find that in the history books. But coming back here, it was back to probes and cannulas. By now, I've really, really had enough. This time, I'm not just leaving the country. This time, I want to go home. To your planet?
Starting point is 00:21:34 Yes, sir. Do you have your spacecraft? Nope. You expect me to build you a spacecraft in the next ten minutes? I kind of expect you to work magic. I need a miracle. And then Scott st you to work magic. I need a miracle. And then Scott stumbles upon your number. That is a miracle.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Only one in a million do. Scott and I are at a loss. We don't know how to pull this off, but we figured if we fake my death, they won't come looking for me. But they'd experiment on your corpse, and when they do, they'll discover it's fake. My species disintegrates very quickly.
Starting point is 00:22:06 If I die, there'll be nothing left to experiment on. So we don't need a replacement corpse. We need... this. Oh, good lord. What the... Scott and I have prepared a little dead alien
Starting point is 00:22:22 juice. It's a blend of rotting beef stew and jello salad. Oh, great. Makes me dizzy. Yes, finding an alien replacement corpse in under ten minutes could have proven a bit tricky. We need your help to find somewhere I can lay low for the next, uh, three hundred years
Starting point is 00:22:42 until I can phone home and get a ride. I'm sorry, did you say 300 years? Yep. That's the next time Earth lines up with or planet DF-641Z9, as you call it. That's impossible. We can't keep you hidden for that long. Well, you'll have to, won't you?
Starting point is 00:23:01 Where is... Oh, dear me. Just say DF-641Z9. It's in the Sombrero Galaxy. Yes, of course you'd come from the Sombrero Galaxy, wouldn't you? You're an illegal alien. Yeah, yeah, heard it before. Oh, no, no, I didn't mean any harm. Enough. Cut it. I've had it with you. I contacted you right after the election, but it takes you months to turn up. When you do, you waste time chit-chatting, and now you're making fun of your
Starting point is 00:23:34 own client? This is a nightmare. Well, I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but we're currently going through a change of leadership ourselves. Really? Billy told me you were with this guy, the Tony guy, Blair. Tony Blair? No, no, I meant at the Amelia Project. I thought you were the boss. Oh no, I haven't been that for a while. What? So I'm speaking with some junior employee? Senior? Why aren't I speaking to your
Starting point is 00:24:01 boss? Because she's only 20. She needs time to learn the ropes. Right now she's in Wakanda, cutting her teeth on one of our royal accounts. What? Trust me. You're in good hands with me. I've done this many times before. In fact, I'm the best in the business. Well, right now, you're coming across like a goddamn amateur.
Starting point is 00:24:23 Scott, Scott, Scott. This is a very delicate case, and I need you to... You're fired! Ross, I'm just going to get you out of here. We'll work something out. Look, I might not have a plan yet, but there's still time to come up with a plan. Just get out of here before I shoot you. Oh, I really don't like firearms.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Scott, relax. On three, I'm going to blast you to high heavens. One, two... High heavens? That's it! What? Quick! Get me a Mars bar. What? A Mars bar. I need a Mars bar now.
Starting point is 00:24:53 You mean the chocolate? Yes. We have less than ten minutes and you're going to spend them eating candy? I have a plan! Mars bar! How is a Mars bar going to help us? Listen, would you please just shut up? I need to test my plan and we have very little time. I need you to get one Mars bar, one Milky Way, one sombrero, one flashlight, one apple, one orange, and a set of walkie-talkies. And I need it within the next minute.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Can you do that? I... Just do it. Fine. Marvelous. But if this doesn't work, I will shoot you. I'll shoot myself. Very high strung, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:25:28 He has a very stressful job. Yes, yes, I suppose. So, um... Are you really the best in the business? I mean, really? Oh, yes. Well, I sure do hope so. Nine more minutes and I'll be so full of needles I'll look like an anemic hedgehog.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Don't worry. Won't come to that. Oh, look. Scott's back. Yep. I got you, buddy. I got you. There we go.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Okay. Right. Can you come? Let's see what you've got. One bar of Hershey's. American chocolate. Okay. One Milky Way. A helmet. Good Lord. One flashlight. An orange. A toilet brush. And two walkie-talkies.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Well, a toilet brush isn't quite an apple, but it'll have to do. Now, Scott, I need you to wear the helmet, take one walkie-talkie, the flashlight and the toilet brush, and run to... Oh, let me see now. The Sombrero Galaxy is 9.55 megaparsecs away from the Milky Way in the Virgo constellation,
Starting point is 00:26:40 and we're two days away from a new moon. The far corner at the left side of the hall. Go! This is insane. What are you doing? Testing my theory. What theory? If I stand here just to the left of this hanging lamp... Scott, turn on your flashlight please and start circling the hall at a very quick pace.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Seven minutes left of your face. Run please, sir. Run. Excellent. And aim your flashlight towards us. What is happening? Scott out there is wearing the helmet which was supposed to be a sombrero because he is... The sombrero galaxy? Exactly. Now, Scott, could you swing the toilet brush over your head as you're running? Thank you. The toilet brush is your planet.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Just speak human. DF64109. If Scott is over there and I hold up this orange like this and walk around this lamp at this speed, now you see this orange is Earth. You'll notice how this lamp, which is our Sun, is blocking any signals going from the orange towards DF-641Z9. But I already know this. I'm stuck here. I've known that since 1947. I can't phone
Starting point is 00:27:58 home for another... 300 years, yes I know. But no one can stay hiding for that long. We normally have to keep our clients hidden for one or two weeks before they resurface, and that's hard enough. So what do we do then? What we'll do is, you'll grab this bar of Hershey's and run in a circle around me. I have to run too? Chop, chop. Come on, clock's ticking. I, I...
Starting point is 00:28:19 Fine. Now how the hell does this help? Hey, what if I eat the Hershey's? My guts can't handle chocolate. This bar will end up sprayed all over the walls. Why don't we try that? Ross, pay attention! Now do you remember what the bar of Hershey's was supposed to be? Sure, a Mars bar. And as you can see, Mars is in line with the Sombrero Galaxy twice a Mars year for the next... Oh my God. Five years? Give or take?
Starting point is 00:28:55 If we can get you to Mars, you can call home. How do we get me to Mars? In two years, NASA will be sending two probes to Mars, Spirit and Opportunity. I know a technician at Cape Canaveral who owes me a favor. She used to be Nikolai Ceausescu's speechwriter. Space techie suits her so much better. It's a good thing you're so small. That will make it a lot easier to smuggle you on board.
Starting point is 00:29:22 I am not small. My proportions are perfectly normal for- Two years is a while, but at least it's not 300 years. Oh, I know. We can hide you in Amsterdam. Yes, you can live in a so-called coffee shop, man. Then you won't even have to wear a disguise. No, no. People will think you're a hallucination. I guess that could work. yeah but how are we going to fake my death no that's the easy part I was planning something a lot more difficult but you just gave me the perfect solution which is this the Milky Way yes which was supposed to represent what? The Milky Way?
Starting point is 00:30:05 No. I just asked for that because I was peckish. Perfect. Now, let's drop the wrapper here, as if you've just eaten it. And let's pour this dead alien juice all over the floor. What the... Why the wrapper? Well, what if your alien physique isn't just intolerant to chocolate,
Starting point is 00:30:34 but... Holy cow! Of course! They'll think the chocolate made me, um, explode. Exactly. Well, they don't know any better, do they?
Starting point is 00:30:43 Okay, so... How do we get me out of here? Through the nursery. What? We'll pretend Jessica got tonsillitis and Scott needs to take her home. He'll stuff her rucksack so full of cuddly toys it spills over. You hide between the toys, pretending to be a cuddly alien replica. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I am not going to pretend to be a dog. Ross, Ross, Ross, this is no time to be vain.
Starting point is 00:31:05 You're small and green and you look like a toy. Let's just face it. I'm two foot four. Exactly. You're fun-sized. Now, hiding in Jessica's backpack is the quickest and safest way of getting you out. Jessica's toys are the only thing leaving Area 51 that don't get triple-checked and torn open. Apparently, the guards can't stand Jessica crying. So if they think she's in pain, they'll let her out of here faster than you can say Kessel Run. They might prod you a bit on your way out, but it should be nothing compared to what you're used to, let's face it. So all you have to do is stay still and not breathe.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Oh yeah, we don't have to worry about that. My species aren't ticklish. Perfect. My god aren't ticklish. Perfect. My god, this is crazy. No, this is nothing, trust me. We've pulled off much crazier. Yes, when the monarch of Sikkim wanted to make the whole country vanish before India could be- Wait, wait, wait. How are you going to get out of here? Oh, I brought a black suit and some sunglasses. I'll blend in with the president's security team as they leave the building.
Starting point is 00:32:09 You know, if this harebrained scheme actually works, I'll be eternally grateful. Oh, that's right. Yes, we haven't discussed payment, have we? Ooh, how about we combine payment and celebration? I've got some peyote in my back pocket. Would be happy to share it with you. It helps me relax. It'll make it easier for me to pretend I'm a... ...doll.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Thanks for the offer, but I had my fill in the 70s. I think I'll pass. I'm more of a Veuve Clicquot kind of guy now. But how about we make this disappearance on the house? Why would you do that? Listen, Ross. I get to take both visiting Area 51 and rescuing an alien off my bucket list. That is payment enough.
Starting point is 00:33:05 I feel bad. You're saving my life. Well, how about you owe me one? If I ever come to real... Don't, don't, just, just don't. Please. Your planet. And I need a favor.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I'm there for you. Much obliged. Um, uh, the whole Mars bar and running in a circle thing. Yes? Did you really need to see all that laid out to know if it would work? Of course I didn't. Your friend Scott was just being a pain in the ass. I thought as much.
Starting point is 00:33:40 Scott! Scott, buddy! You can stop running now we got it fuck you now I'm gonna shoot you in the face now just calm down, soldier boy. It's all been sorted. It's good. It's good, buddy. It is? Yeah. It's insane enough to maybe actually work. What do we do?
Starting point is 00:34:17 No time to explain. Just follow my lead. Junior and his entourage will be here in less than two minutes, so you and I need to run. We're heading to the nursery! Run? Run? Oh for fuck's sake!
Starting point is 00:34:32 Come on! I'm coming! Toodle-oo Ross! Safe journey home! You too! Thank you! See you on stay tuned for the epilogue
Starting point is 00:34:54 but first the credits this episode was written by Einstein Braga directed by Philip Thorne and Einstein Braga with story and audio editing by Philip Thorne it was designed by Adam Ray and audio editing by Philip Thorne. It was designed by Adam Raymunda with music by Frederick Barden. The episode featured Alan Bergen as the interviewer, Julia C. Thorne as Alvina, Graham Roa as Scott, Federico Trujillo as Ross, and coming up,
Starting point is 00:35:20 Hemiyeroham as Kozlowski, Jordan Cobb as Jackie Williams, and Erin King as Mia Fox. Production assistance by Marty Patsival and graphic design by Anders Pedersen. The Amelia Project would not be possible without listeners who support us via Patreon. So we'd like to say a huge thank you to all our patrons. Whether you're supporting us with $2 per episode,
Starting point is 00:35:48 $20 or more, we are so, so grateful. A shout out to our super patrons. That's Heat312, Seagreet, Rodney Dilligie, Ella Silver, Kevin Rowland, Sophia Anderson, Jem Fiddick, Alban Assant, Amelie and Alison, Stephanie Weidenhiller, For info about the cast and crew, transcripts and info on how to support us and to access bonus content, visit ameliapodcast.com. If you become a patron from the $5 tier upwards, you can listen to The Alvina Archives, a mini-series that follows Alvina's arrival at the company. Becoming a patron gives you immediate access to the first 10 episodes of this mini-series, and there will be
Starting point is 00:36:38 a brand new Alvina Archives episode coming very soon. That's ameliapodcast.com, and you can also find us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram. And now, the epilogue. Ah, we have arrived. Where the fuck? I can't see a thing. You got a flashlight, Jackie? We have the light of the stars. Listen. What? Can you hear that?
Starting point is 00:37:24 The sea. At night, when the sky is full of stars and the sea is still, you get the wonderful sensation that you are floating in space. Very poetic. That's Natalie Wood. Remind me why we trekked all the way out here again. When anxious, uneasy, and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea. And the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds. Cleanses me with its noise.
Starting point is 00:38:08 wide sound, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused. Ugh, please don't tell me we came here just because you like the sound of waves. Oh, no. I was still quoting. Hmm, Natalie Wood? Rainer Maria Rilke. Okay, we're here because you wanted to tell us a story. Yes. And a story is best told at the source.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Uh-huh. And this muddy field has got something to do with the Amelia Project? Yes. This is where it began. Where what began? This is the site of your first case? Your first office? Both. This is where we used to make beds of bracken, lie on our backs, and gaze up at the stars. We? Look, that's Pisces. I knew that. Ah, I have a fellow enthusiast
Starting point is 00:39:07 When I was a little girl, I had this book with all the constellations Marked with these glow-in-the-dark stars I used to hold my flashlight to the pages And switch off all the lights and crawl under my covers And just gaze at the little fluorescent dots for hours There, just below Pisces Isn't that Mars? covers and just gaze at the little fluorescent dots for hours. There, just below Pisces. Isn't that Mars?
Starting point is 00:39:30 It is. I am impressed. Hmph. It's amazing what you can see without light pollution. Indeed. Some nights I have even spotted Kleptoruk here. Kli- what? I doubt that one was in your book. Guys guys we didn't come here to stargaze you are right we need wood wood to build a fire um the nights here get
Starting point is 00:39:57 chilly and stories are best told around the fire. We're spending the night here? You want to hear my stories, do you not? Yes, yes. Of course. Then let us build a fire and begin. The Fable and Falling Network where fiction producers flourish

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.