The Amelia Project - The Perils of Freelancing - Crossover with Where The Stars Fell

Episode Date: August 21, 2022

A bonus crossover episode between The Amelia Project & Where the Stars Fell! Featuring Newton Schottelkotte, Madelyn Harvieux, Kiera Gill, Alan Burgon and Julia C. Thorne. For transcripts, merch, bonus material and ways to support the show visit ameliapodcast.com. For more info on Where The Stars Fell visit wherethestarsfell.com TW: mentions of technical suicide Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Because the Skip app saves you so much time by delivering stuff like your favorite cool treats, groceries, and bevies, you get more time to have the best summer ever. Like riding roller coasters. Learning to water ski. Applying sunscreen to your dad's back. Yep, definitely the best summer ever. Squeeze more summer out of summer with skip did somebody say skip cold tapes a gripping crime story that will chill you to the bone you know life on the base means uh well it's close to six months without light that does things to people. That study that he was doing, to watch us and then set

off us like mice around this special little experiment. How many people are on this space? 16 on this one. Someone amongst them is our killer. Experience Cold Tapes, the murder mystery podcast game. Start your investigation where you get your podcasts. Hello, dear Amelia listeners, and welcome to this new crossover special. Not that long ago, we discovered the fiction podcast Where the Stars Fell, and we immediately fell in love with the accident-prone and ridiculously foolhardy Dr. Ed Tucker. with the accident-prone and ridiculously foolhardy Dr. Ed Tucker.

Where the Stars Fell is made by Caldera Studios and showrunner Newton Shuttlecotty, whose madcap mind really chimed with our sensibilities. In that show, we follow Dr. Ed Tucker as she moves to Jerusalem, Oregon, to research the strange and unusual, and she finds strange and unusual things in abundance, to the constant frustration of her housemate, Lucy Kensington, who always has to take Ed to the emergency room.

But at the end of the day, the most unusual thing in Jerusalem might be Ed herself. She just doesn't seem to be able to die. We'll leave it at that. We are proud to present a special crossover minisode between Where the Stars Fell and The Amelia Project. We hope that you enjoy it, and we hope that you also go and check out Where the Stars Fell, as it's a fantastic show. Also, we're doing two different endings to this episode, one on our feed and one on theirs, so do go check that out too. We you enjoy this mini-sode which is called

the perils of freelancing Субтитры подогнал «Симон» Ow! Dammit! Ow! Damn it! You are one tough nut to crack, huh, bud? Are you talking to the slime mold? It's not weird. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. It's been almost half a year since I found the thing and I still can't get a read on it. Have you tried turning it off and on

again? Yeah, but it just threw more of that acid on me and burned my goddamn leg off. Very illuminating ten minutes, though. I kinda get it now. Then your penance can be making dinner. Fine. It's still your night to do the dishes, though. Oh, hey, you know that fucky thing I can do with my eyes? I figured out how to do it on

command. Check this out. Good Christ, that's creepy. I know, right? I did it in front of Mike, and he freaked out. Oh, that'll be mine. I think I have a bra in there too. If there's still blood on it, just throw it out. Please be a little more kind, not the dean. Please be a little more kind, not the dean. Hello.

Hello, Dr. Tucker. Alvina! How's the aloe plant? Brown and squishy, I'm afraid. dean. Hello. Hello, Dr. Tucker. Alvina! How's the aloe plant? Brown and squishy, I'm afraid. Classic root rot. Put it in a high sunlight area and don't touch it for two weeks. If that doesn't work, you're going to need to get a dehumidifier. I live in Britain. There is no dehumidifier in the world that can do anything about this damp. My condolences to the little guy.

So, I'm assuming you've got something on the docket for me? I was just calling to let you know we've emailed you the details. I know how often you check it. Ha ha ha. I'll get my best screen reader on it. You have more than one? I switch up the voices sometimes. Keeps things interesting.

See you when I see you. Email from alvina.write.tap at gmail.com. Hi, Ed. We have a job for you. Louisa Graves is the owner of the number one interactive haunted attraction in the United States, Andy Wehrwolf Hole's Factory of Screams. Unfortunately, five-star reviews can't protect you from the scariest thing of all, OSHA. Amen to that, brother.

Graves' predilection for the frightfully avant-garde has resulted in enough strikes to get the attraction shut down. Over a hundred out-of-work actors and artisans will soon be banging down her door for severance packages. Packages that she can't afford to provide. She needs to disappear, and has requested a demise that will showcase the true fright mind of her factory, being scared to death. So, a heart attack.

Also known as a heart attack. There we go. How do they keep forgetting one of my doctorates is in biology? Your compensation is listed below. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Picking up or eating in? One woman unionizing, but I'll also take a coffee. Have fun with that. Did you see a guy come

in? Weird British, probably ordered a hot chocolate. He's in the booth over there. Friend of yours? My Pinkerton. Hello, Ed. What the hell, man? How are you today? Are we doing this? Are we really doing this? If by this you mean initiating the beginnings of a polite conversation, then I do hope so. I... Fine, fine. Work is good. I taught William Shakespeare to roll over. A bunch of small, terminally online children invaded my home last week and almost burned down my backyard. You know how it is. How exciting.

And William Shakespeare is... My alligator lizard. And lab partner, in a way. Ah. You know, a few years ago, Joey got a nasty concussion, so we brought in a very large rat to be his replacement. Wonderful help around the office, and an excellent cook. Truly left us too soon.

What happened to him? Joey found out he'd been replaced and ate him. He ate the rat. Allegedly raw. Yeah, that's the line for me. I managed to get Lucy to like squirrel, though, which... Considering what you people call a delicacy, should not have been as hard as it was. Wait, what were we talking about?

I believe you were gearing up to begin shouting at me very expressively. Yeah, that sounds like me. Now I remember. What the hell? Retracing our steps, are we? No, reacting extremely normally to some bullshit. A hundred fifty K? For a goddamn heart attack? You paid me more to get buried by cement. The arsenic pill was included in that.

You have a billion of those. I didn't need to make my own, and you know it. Buried alive is easy. You just die some other way and wait to get pulled out. An induced heart attack? I've got to be visibly in agony the entire time and get an air bubble shot through my foot. All I'm saying is that for the personal labor involved, I should be getting at least 200. Especially since I'm literally the only one who can do this. I wouldn't say that. How many other physically immortal people do you know? Quickly, one, two, three, four, list them off for me. Certainly, I've found no one else with your particular set of skills,

but there are always a handful of Tisch students overly eager to go method. But I'm irreplaceable. As in, you don't have to keep replacing me every time you throw me into an airplane engine. Dr. Edison Tucker. The eco-friendly choice. Exactly. That kind of renewable guarantee deserves fair compensation. You know, compared to your original pitch, this one is seeming a little dry.

You mean when you saw me get run over by a Range Rover outside an In-N-Out and offered to buy me a milkshake if I did it again? Seeing is believing in your case. You shot me in the face! I did no such thing! I had Salvatore shoot you in the face. Same difference! You said, and I quote, uh, do your worst, dude, I can take it.

Yeah, but he shot me in the face! That was my favorite jacket. Do you know how long it takes to clean blood out of corduroy? Yes. Of course you do. Look, all I'm saying is, with a history of quality like mine, can you really put a price on that? I'm afraid for the sake of our accountant, I must. Accountant? Alvina. saying is, with a history of quality like mine, can you really put a price on that? I'm afraid for the sake of our accountant, I must. Accountant?

Alvina. Goddammit. All right, you two. Coffee for Ed and cocoa for... Ooh, thank you. How did you do that with your mouth? Wouldn't you like to know? I would! Is that your real name? I don't know anyone called

Bleep. You know what I mean. No. It's not. Worth a shot. You have your mysteries, and I have mine. Well, mine's not exactly a mystery anymore. Really? Do tell. Not your department, I'm afraid. Oh, let me guess. Do you mind if I guess? Unless one of my last ones was correct. Nope, I'm not an

alien. Phooey. Government experimentation? No. Although, the U.S. nuclear bunker is about two hours from where I grew up. Previously unheard of Appalachian legend? You think I'm the cryptid? Huh. That would have been pretty ironic. Kind of. Poetic interpretation of a well-known archetype that circumvents the expected narrative. Too bad this is my life!

Have you tried yoga? No, I haven't. Tell me more. Wait, that gives me an idea. Secret government super soldier trainee that simply cannot die until her mission is completed. What would my mission be? Well, something no average human could ever hope to accomplish. Have you ever been in and out of the DMV in 15 minutes? Dear God, if only. Well, you've stumped me again. You know, the office has a betting pool going.

Don't I feel special? Tell you what, I'll put it to you this way. When I tell you that my particular time and talent is worth a certain amount of compensation, and you tell me no, it makes me kind of angry. Makes me upset. And I have learned, as of recent, that very, very bad things happen to people who do that. Very bad things happen to people who do that.

Because what I am is something you really don't want to fuck with. You seem to have a problem with your eyes. Would you like me to ask Kozlowski to do something about that? What? No! I don't want Kozlowski to operate on me. The last time he did, I looked like if someone threw me in the back of a horse trailer and made it run a coaster at Dollywood. Then he proceeded to tell me I looked so handsome he hoped I wouldn't regenerate. Shame. I'm sure for a valued asset like you, he would fix your eyes for a significantly reduced rate. I was trying to scare you.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm so scared. Was that better? I was proving a fucking point! I'm the... Do you believe in God? Not particularly. Do you believe in the other guy? Really? Really. Well, I suppose with a record as long as yours, there's some room for negotiation. Fantastic. Have you always been able to do that? Wouldn't you like to know? To compromises

Indeed So, how did it go? Good, good Good, good? Yes, good, good You can't just say good, good. Why not? Good is a perfectly good word. I can use it more than once. Because you went to the States for wage negotiations. And? You were in very serious talks with a unique subcontractor

without whom there are a number of disappearances we could never have pulled off, like the Bangladeshi tiger mauling. And she was unhappy. So? So I need to know how it went. Is Ed still working for us? Can I send her the details for the San Francisco tram accident? And, most importantly, did you manage to keep our overheads down? Well, um, I'll answer in order.

Yes, yes, and no. No. No. How much did she want? Two hundred thousand. Two hundred thousand? Yes. That's a raise of thirty-three percent. Yes, it would have been. Would have been? Oh, I asked what she wanted. Sorry, we're talking past each other. So, how much did you end up agreeing to pay her? Three hundred thousand. That's more than two hundred thousand. Oh, she had very convincing arguments. Are you sure you mean three hundred thousand? Yes. Three hundred thousand. Per death? Yes. 300,000 per death?

Yes. Are you absolutely insane? Oh, dear. I knew I should never have let you go. Why couldn't upstairs do this herself? Why didn't I go? I should have sent Kozlowski. Don't you dare leave once I'm shouting at you.

I should have sent Salvatore. I should have sent Joey. That rat we hired would have done a better job even after he got eaten! Come back here! Come back here, you! The Perils of Freelancing was a crossover special between The Amelia Project and Where the Stars Fell.

It was written and designed by Newton Shuttlecotti with additional writing by Øystein Ølsberg Braga and additional editing and sound design by Adam Raimunda and Philip Thorne. It featured Newton Shuttlecotti as Dr. Edison Tucker, Madeleine Javier as Lucille Kensington, Kira Gill as Mama Gabe, Alan Bergen as the interviewer and Julia C. Thorne as Alvina. Gabe, Alan Bergen as the interviewer, and Julia C. Thorne as Alvina. The Amelia theme is composed by Frederick Barden. The Where the Stars Fell theme is composed by Tyler Petty and Newton Shuttlecotty. For transcripts, merch, bonus material, and ways to support the show, visit ameliapodcast.com. The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish. So this is the end of the world.

Pretty weird, right? I'm Hannah. I'm sure you've probably noticed by now. I'm a zombie. My name is the last one. From the creator of Redmond Bourne and Cybernautica. I can't exactly control most of the things zombie me does. I'm basically what amounts to a backseat driver in my own body.

You learn to kind of just go with it after a while, I think. Like, do I feel bad for eating a family of four when I was new? You bet. Not exactly my favorite memory. Hannah is living her best un-life, while unknowingly being on a crash course with Callie, an explorer desperately seeking to leave her mark on an American wasteland that seems to be all out of new discoveries.

One might say that it's the comics that got me into this, but between you and me, I'm going to blame the McSotas. I have no sense in ruining everything I like in one day. Together, this unlikely pair team up against the dangers of post-apocalyptia. Okay, okay. This thing is not playing around at all. Shit, incoming! Sometimes I miss the old days.

Killing zombies for upstart communities. Now that was a lot more simple. A lot more ethical, too. Wouldn't you say so? Don't you think it's a little more ethical to kill a zombie than just some stranger on the road? Pan-Apocalypse. A story about love, death, and robots. Just not the next guy.