The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - A Dainty 6'2" with Bob the Drag Queen
Episode Date: November 24, 2020Drag Race star Bob the Drag Queen joins Trixie and Katya, as they take a journey through presidential election drama, tales of fisting, and gross bathroom debacles. Bob also discusses polyamory dynami...cs, criticizes Trixie's Tik Tok, and laments Shirley Phelps' missed potential to be a gay icon. Check out more of Bob's work at https://www.bobthedragqueen.com/ To follow Bob: @BobtheDragQueen To follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel To follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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I voted for Trump.
And you're like, my cousins won't stop texting me.
Like, mom, stop.
Just a random, I voted for Trump.
And then like a hang up, I didn't.
Don't do it, girl.
Don't do it,. So what happened.
Don't do it girl.
It's so good.
So what happened was
during me and Monet
did live coverage
of the election night
and someone called me
in the middle of it.
Someone called me
in the middle of it
and I heard my voice
through their phone
and I was like,
oh my God,
is someone watching us?
And they just hung up.
Oh my God.
I was like,
these fans really out here doing
too much i loved how did they get you know they were in baba money were in drag the night of the
election like doing watching the news and reporting it live women on the scene it was actually really
fun and it was actually very informative because you guys were saying shit like okay this is what
the news is saying which really means this it also was the only way that we could actually,
I don't know,
I felt like we should,
it was going to be a crazy night.
My first thought was how upset I'd be if I was in full drag
when I got the news that Trump was reelected.
And I remember,
it brought me back to my friend,
I don't know if it's at the beginning,
but a friend of mine,
I went to a drag show the night.
Good idea, Kati,
I'm going to do that.
You can just,
hold on, you can just snatch that out. It's like I'm at a comedy show the night. Good idea, Kati. I'm going to do that. Oh, you can just, hold on.
You can just snatch that out.
It's like I'm at a comedy show.
Do you want to unplug it and plug it back in?
You're so smart.
Some people like it and some people don't like it.
She needs to clutch it. I like to clutch.
Yeah.
I like to move.
Well, that's how I do it at a show.
You can push it.
There you go.
But yeah, the night of the election four years ago,
I was at the Liberty Hotel at like a, oh, it's like an election night party.
And there was this drag queen dressed as Hillary Clinton named Heidi Ho.
And she was like, I'm about to get all these Hillary Clinton gigs.
I'm going to be popping.
There was like a couple of drag kings and like people dressed as Trump.
And then throughout the night as it became more and more clear that Trump Trump was going to win, the Trump supporters just kind of started disappearing.
You couldn't see them anymore.
And then my friend Heidi, who was hired to be Hillary, was getting drunker.
Oh, God.
So then Hillary was like, ah.
They started crying.
New York City was dead silent, which is weird because Trump and Hillary were both in New York City. Girl. On the night of the election.
They were both there.
Not this time.
Ms. Trump was golfing.
Well, she doesn't want to.
It must be insane.
Like his hometown, New York City, is like, don't come here, first of all.
It's fierce.
They're like, don't come here.
And then not only that, but like the town he lives in now, D.C.,
do you see D.C. was like 98% blue?
It's so fierce.
Yeah, but also I'm like all of your neighbors are like, boo.
Yeah.
You fucking suck, boo.
Imagine all of your, well, you don't have to imagine.
But imagine, I pointed at Trixie, those of you listening.
All of your neighbors being like, boo.
Yeah.
It's pretty intense.
I mean, what is this play, Florida?
Yeah.
It's like, you know.
We should mention, this is the bald and the beautiful.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, please, I kind of forgot that we were rolling.
Our guest is somebody who embodies both truly bald, truly beautiful, one of the most famous
drag queens in the world, the nicest, funniest, sweetest person I've ever met.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I just love you.
It's Bob the Drag Queen, folks.
Bob the Drag Queen. Oh, my you. It's Bob the drag queen, folks.
Bald, beautiful, and black.
Bald, beautiful, truly talented, nicest people. Kim Chi.
Welcome to the stage.
She's not people.
But also, all the drag queens
are slowly becoming the bald.
I thought you were going to say slowly becoming
nice. I was like, no.
A lot of us are, I mean mean there's those of us who are like
bald because we're just like
we're losing the fight
we want to go down with some grace
and some dignity and then there's those of us
who are just like clinging
through everything like surgery
but I love you
it's a fork
Derek said I'm getting that surgery
and I was like I mean go off but for And I was like, I mean, go off.
But I mean, like for me, I'm like, I'm just going to let it go.
I'm going to let go of the ghost.
Let go of the beast.
Give up the ghost.
Give up the ghost.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Bob's like, I'm going to get that goat.
I'm going to get that goat, that beast.
I'm going to shave that goat.
I'm going to eat that beast.
I mean, I can't.
I think I was 24 and I started going, I started shaving every summer.
And then I was like, we wear wigs.
I'm losing the hair.
Who fucking cares?
And you can be bald.
As a man, you can be bald.
It's totally fine.
But also, even ladies who are bald
are killing it.
Non-binary.
If you're bald and you're wrong,
I'm like, girl, go off.
Go off.
I started shaving my head
when I was 28 or 29.
I was like, I'm done.
But you used to,
I remember you showed me pictures.
You used to have long hair.
I used to have dreadlocks.
How long?
How long?
Like to here, like long, long dreadlocks.
You hear that folks?
To here.
Yeah, to here.
Just to pay the butcher for you.
Now where was it?
How long were they?
Yeah, right about to there.
Just so you guys know, I was right in my nose.
No, to my shoulder.
I used to have shoulder length dreadlocks when I was like a teen.
Then I cut them off and I was like right before my 21st birthday, I cut off my dreadlocks when I was like a teen. Then I cut them off and right before my 21st birthday I cut
off my dreadlocks.
Then I had like a mohawk and I had cornrows
and I had an afro.
So you did it all while you had it.
I did a lot of hairstyles
over the years.
Did you dye your hair?
I bleached the tips of my hair
of my dreadlocks and then I tried to dye
them purple but they just ended up going black again.
Black, black, black again. Once you go black,
you really can go back. I did it.
My hair did it of its own volition.
But don't you think
bald is so much more, it's so easy.
It's so fucking easy.
It is easier, yeah. And one of my
boyfriends is a barber and he just cuts my
hair for me. I just sit and he has like a barber's job, barber's chair in his home and boyfriends is a barber, and he just cuts my hair for me. I just sit, and he has like a barber's chair in his home,
and I just sit in his chair, and he just cuts my hair, and it feels so nice.
I'm just like.
He lives in a salon.
I've been telling you that's his home.
Do y'all ever make love in the chair?
No, no, no.
We've made out in the chair, but never made love in the chair, no.
I think we should touch on it.
I want to talk all about your boyfriend.
You want to touch on my boyfriend?
Yeah, touch him.
You want to touch on my boyfriend?
Honestly, I haven't met the other one.
Jacob's very cute.
Jacob is adorable.
Jacob's super cute, tiny.
He films your videos for your channel?
Jacob does all my photographs for my Instagram.
Jacob does almost all of my YouTube videos.
Some of my videos
If you ever see me on the show having a discussion with another person
Mitch Farino does those
But if you ever see a video of me in my own space
Doing my makeup and stuff like that
The infamous Silky Nutmeg Ganache video
Jacob edited
All those jokes of editing jokes are all Jacob's ideas
He's very very talented
And then my other partner's name
His name is Ezra
And Ezra's um a musician
and a barber living in um the hollywood area cool i have like a million questions already yeah ask
away so i just feel like everybody listens to this knows so much about your career and so talking
about your personal life my career stuff is so like, you ever talk about career stuff
and you're like,
is this interesting to hear again?
When it's career stuff,
you're like,
don't you have a bin-dum-bin-nu?
Yeah.
That like, you know,
yeah, if you're Trixie,
you're like, yeah, I write music.
Yeah, I play the harpsichord.
Right.
That's true.
The harpsichord, yeah.
I play them all.
No, I totally get it.
I'd rather hear like little personal.
You guys may I know this
But Kata
You speaks French
Yeah it's like
Wow
Now can you say
A little something
In the Queen's English
Also
I remember watching
Watching
You watch
Of course you're watching
Canada's Drag Race
And when
She was like
I am the first
Francophone
To
I will be the first
Francophone
To win RuPaul's Drag Race.
I'm like, did you watch season one?
Oh, yeah.
Can I just say?
I was like, the first, literally the very first winner of RuPaul's Drag Race is fluent in French.
The national language.
Oh, shit.
The national language of Cameroon is French.
French, yeah. It's like, you're're not the erasure of bb's heart it was her being like i would be the first you're not even i hope they all cut and
she was like did that seem french you know okay by the way i have to say this i recapped that show
for which by the way you were so good on pit stop and i think you were doing we're here for some
reason you didn't do canada's drag. I was so happy to inherit the job back
because I honestly, if I hadn't had been watching it,
I might not have seen it.
I didn't get Rita Vega.
No, the name.
Ruta Vega.
Ruta Vega.
I never got it.
I still don't get it.
Like a Ruta Vega.
But it's Rita Vega.
I know, but you know, like Bob the Drag Queen. Makes perfect sense. But it's rutabaga. I know, but, you know, like Bob the Drag Queen makes perfect sense.
But that's not a pun that, like, it doesn't, you know what I mean?
Like a rutabaga.
I said it a million times.
The other day I went, oh, my God, it's rutabaga.
And then she, like, that's how someone was with her.
There was a drag queen in New York City that every queen would, like,
randomly remember her name.
She's now, like, a teacher or something.
Her name was Amanda. you know jerry pie
her name was uh amanda amanda poupon and and folks would be like they would know her for
years and soon as like give it up for Amanda Poupon. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Amanda Poupon. See, that's a great aha moment.
That's fun.
Yeah, that is fun.
A Rita Baker, Rita Baker.
I just didn't get it.
How many times did I say this on camera?
Never.
Hello?
Yeah.
Yeah.
McFly.
Thank McFly.
But Lisa Newcar.
That is the ultimate sleeper hit.
Lisa Newcar.
Lisa Newcar is great.
Three years into knowing her.
Yeah. Do you remember? I didn't realize it was a pun. You know what? Lisa That is the ultimate Sleeper hit Lisa Newcar Lisa Newcar is great Three years into knowing her Yeah
Didn't realize it was a pun
You know what
There's a queen
In Philadelphia
Amy Vodka House
It is not a pun
But one day I was like
Oh my god
It's like Amy Winehouse
But instead of wine
It's vodka
Oh that's kind of dumb
I like that
Kind of dumb
But I was like
Oh there's the thing
Took me a while
We veered off
From the boyfriend talk
So okay
So you have a very Well not I'm not going to say unusual, but
interesting, distinct relationship with two men.
Yeah, so Ezra and Jacob are my partners. They're not dating. It's not like
Derek Barry. Do they like each other? Yeah, they just met like two weeks ago.
They're not bitter rivals? No. Are they each other's type in any way? Is there any
attraction at all? I mean, they, I look like me and they look kind of similar except one is Jewish and one
is Mexican.
Okay.
Okay.
So are, um, so you're saying Jewish people and Mexican people look the same?
No.
You know someone who looks like the Mexican version of, they don't, by the way, they don't
look like the versions of each other, but they are both, uh, smaller.
They're both slim.
They both have dark hair. Um smaller they're both slim they both have dark
hair um they're both really pretty and i'm kind of like a like a like a like someone's uncle and
they both love attractive powerful hilarious men yeah they do and what yeah and what about it haney
six three i just two six two but a dainty six two i make it look like six feet now i was having this
conversation with my boyfriend the other day, and I was like, I
don't know if we ever were in a three throuple.
That's what they call it, right?
Yeah, I hate that word.
I don't know how you would come into it.
And I'm assuming for you, you weren't looking for it.
It just kind of presented itself.
Yeah, and again, it's not a throuple because they're not dating.
I just have two boyfriends.
Two boyfriends?
Yeah.
This is polygamy, not throuple.
Yes, this is polyamory. polygamy Polyamory
Polygamy has a nasty bite to it
Polygamy is Mormon
Are you Mormon?
I think polygamy is specifically with marrying
I think, I'm not an expert
But we don't live on the compound
Not yet
Not yet
I met Jacob
At the end of 2017
in San Francisco when I was at a gig
and then I moved to the Bay Area for a play
was there for six months, Jacob and I started dating
Angels in America, Tony Kirshner
yes, yes, yes
and then
I met Ezra on
Instagram, I just saw him on Instagram
I thought he was hot and I was like oh my god
like what's good M, what's good?
Miley, what's good?
What did you say?
What would be your Instagram opening
pick-up line?
It was a picture of him.
ASL, age, sex, location.
It was a video of him
jumping on a couch.
He had just found this couch outside.
He was like, I found this couch.
Which, by the way, a New Yorker would never grab a couch on the street this, he had just found this couch like outside. He was like, I found this couch, which by the way,
a New Yorker would never
grab a couch on the street
because we would get
bed bugs.
And anyway,
he was,
it was him
jumping on this couch,
but he was in a jockstrap.
Oh.
And it looked really hot.
I said,
oh,
this is my new obsession.
I'm trying to be that couch.
Yeah,
what I said was,
this is my new obsession.
And then that was my opening line.
You said,
I got the bed bugs, you got the couch, let's make it make it happen when you said that in New York people are more I think
it was in your Caroline special people are more afraid of bed bugs than ISIS yeah I said I said
people like I said something about people will walk down the street oh people like you will walk
down the street there'll be a big pack of black thugs walking at you and you'll be like move it's
my neighborhood too but they'll cross the street if there's a couch
if there's a couch
couches scare people in New York City
terrifying
terrifying absolutely terrifying
I've had friends who had really horrible things
happen to them they were like having bed bugs
was the worst thing
there was a string of drag queens in Chicago who had
it and it was passing from partner to
partner and then queens were having to like you know dry their good gowns in the dryer trying to kill the bugs.
Dryer?
Bonfire.
Bonfire mama.
A dryer will kill the bugs.
A dryer will kill the bugs.
I don't believe it.
So one of the ways they treat your house for bed bugs, your apartment for bed bugs, they just seal off every vent, every window, every crack.
And they heat your house up to like 115
degrees for about
an hour, and then it just kills everything.
Oh, it's just like a hot... I mean, kids too, if you leave the kids
in there. And then you get in bed with the dead bugs.
Well, they're...
Oh, I don't... Dead bugs.
They're dark-sided. You know, they're
about as thin as a sheet of paper, and they can live
for up to a year without feeding. You just
described the crackhead drag queen
that's your tinder bio girl totally totally i haven't fed in 12 months
but you're on tinder because there's time to feed again three month window gotta make it work so you
met ezra You vibed
And then were you like
Jacob
What if I like this guy
Well when I first met Jacob
I said
Jacob's my first boyfriend
I forgot to tell you that
Jacob's the first boyfriend
I ever had
Really
Yeah I don't have any exes
Interesting
As of the date this airs
As of the day we recorded this
And you know
When I met Jacob
I was like
I don't really I haven't really ever met Jacob I was like I don't really
I haven't really ever dated before I feel like I might be
Polyamorous I'm just saying that now at the beginning of our
Dating just so you know I'm saying this out
Loud we'll see what's good
And then the day came and I was like
I'm sure of it
Now and I'm seeing this guy named
Ezra and I want you to know
And then I was like well then I said
Now I asked Ezra to be
my partner and that's what's up and what did Jacob say Jacob was like okay really and we we had a
moment where we were trying to like figure it out he was like I'm adjusting to this you know I feel
about this but ultimately because I was being up front I was never being shady or sneaky or sly
I wanted to be up front about how I felt the whole time with both of them and i was
like this is where i'm at so i just want you to know that this is what i'm doing and and honestly
in relationships you can never fight if you always talk and especially if you just keep i i will if
if me and someone are or not just my partner this is also with monet this is with anyone i've had
a disagreement with i will talk until i'm like we we will figure this out yeah like there's no way we can't figure this out
we'll just keep talking and talking and then after a while you're like oh my god now i see where
you're coming from yeah and now we can move unless it's you monet and you really never agree and then
the next episode happens and it gets brought up again i love listening sybil ronald is my favorite drag podcast it's so funny because
it is so obvious you guys are best friends and oh my god do you love to disagree with each other
it's not even it's just it just she likes to honestly i'm i am very team bob i think she
likes to fuck with you well she more than you fuck she will argue stuff that she knows is wrong
she's just saying it she does not. She doesn't have a good grasp on
how to get that. And Bob will be like,
no, here's the fact. Here's why. And she'll
just be like, Bob. I just
feel like, I can't even.
I literally can't even. And it drives me
crazy, but that's my good
duty. And I really do
love, I wouldn't want to do with anyone else. We talked
about this podcast on our podcast recently.
We're not siblings. It would be just straight rivalry yeah rivalry yeah yeah just
how long have you known her for i met monet probably oh my god maybe 2013 2012 maybe like
i feel like right when she got out of college she moved to new york city and was um like a baby
queen at the bar and i was like i was like the moved to New York City and was like a baby queen at the bar.
And I was like the sophomore class.
Like I had just got done being a baby queen.
I had a few gigs.
I was working at a couple of bars.
And when they used to come to,
we used to both go to this one show
called Saliva Tuesdays at the Ritz,
hosted by Thorgy.
Drag shows?
Disgusting.
The names of drag shows,
we talked about this,
are just fucking crazy.
Yeah, Saliva.
And a lot of times they get passed down
and you inherit a show with a name you don't even understand.
Saliva Tuesdays is the one.
So I was doing Saliva Tuesdays,
and we would both go there.
We would both compete sometimes.
And Thorgy was hosting.
And one day Monet needed my help for a show called
So You Think You Can Drag.
She needed an outfit made, and she didn't know how to make it.
So I sold her an Ariel dress,
a gown that with a
tearaway skirt that could turn into a mini dress um and over the bonding i used to do this thing
where like i was so excited i didn't i wasn't good enough at sewing to like charge people
but i was like if you just buy the fabric and like hang out at me hang out with me at my house
and you hang out i'll make the dress while you're there. If you leave, I'm going to stop working on it. But if you come...
I love that you're trading for friendship.
You just have to hang out with me, sis.
Well, I'm not going to like... I mean, I don't mind
making you a dress, but not in your absence.
I'm not going to sit around while you're out
skipping la-di-do-da, and I'm just
sewing a dress for a fucking stranger.
I don't want to know you, but if you want to come over,
we can hang out, and I can
make you a dress. I like that.
Honestly, most drag queens can't sew and they're like, that's a good deal to me.
Yeah.
Pretend friendship.
Oh yeah.
Into it.
I used to do this for a lot of queens.
I used to, I would just stay up sewing, but I used to love, I loved sewing.
I just did a sewing challenge on my chat page.
I saw.
You should do it.
It's just eight minutes of your life.
Wait, what is it?
It's an eight minute sewing challenge.
I try to sew a dress.
I'm going to make a dress in eight minutes. Are you going to do it? Oof. I watched you do it. I try to sew a dress in. I'm going to make a dress in eight minutes.
Are you going to do it?
Oof.
I watched you do it.
I thought you did a good job.
I could do an eight-minute dress.
I wouldn't do it.
Just a shift.
She loves sewing.
Well, mine is, it's not a sleeve.
Mine is a tank dress.
It's a tank dress, and I also made a cowl.
With finished edges, or no?
No.
I didn't have it.
No.
It was like a pink lace, so it was pretty forgiving, at least on camera.
Yeah.
And I used a sloper So I had like a shape
And then I also
Honestly it's
It's eight minutes
Just watch this
Yeah
Too much of a commitment
Too much of a commitment
Getting the spark notes
Of like a five
Yeah
How about two minutes
She likes sewing
But I think
You're not into the eight minutes
You're more like
What if we did an eight day stretch
Of stoning a mini dress
I'm gonna wear once
I love
Yeah
I love sewing Didn't you make the outfit She wore on of stoning a mini dress I'm going to wear once? I love, yeah, I love sewing.
Didn't you make the outfit she wore on the stairs?
Step into the plate, I'm chicks in my tail.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She cut out, Fina told me that you cut out the fabric
and then quit and then she did it.
Yeah, absolutely.
That sounds about right, yeah.
I might've like put the zipper down and then left the room.
I was like, Katya made this and Fina was like,
she cut the fabric out and went to sleep.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, love that. But of course, like the Drag Race fans are like, she made that And Fede was like She cut the fabric And went to sleep Yeah absolutely Yeah But of course
Like the Drag Race fans
Were like she made that for her
Yeah
Yeah
Whatever narrative
You want to go with
That's fine with me
When was the last time
You sewed something
Literally the other day
She sews all the time
I love that
So I did the eight
It was
It started as a ten minute
Sewing challenge
I did one with Monet
Where we did a ten minute
Sewing challenge
And she was in a
The pissiest mood She's ever been in.
It was actually so bad we couldn't even post the video.
Because she was in such a bad mood.
She was like.
She was a miserable, miserable monster.
And then we went to YouTube.
We were filming at YouTube Studios too.
We took the book like a month in advance.
So this whole day was just wasted. because Monet was just so pissy.
Yes.
Now, like, over the course of the day, though, is there any, like, do you ever get the sense of, like, this is, we can't use this.
We can't, what is, like, happening here?
Do you know what I mean?
There's only been one time where we, the selling town was the only time that we couldn't Use the footage because Monet was so pissy
There is one where Monet was in a terrible mood
But we still used it and if you look up
Sibling rivalry Bob Ross
Challenge
The challenge was we both watch a Bob Ross video
And then try to paint like Bob Ross
Without pausing
Have you ever followed a Bob Ross before?
You really have to pause and like look up
The color the yellow Like get the colors You know what Yeah. You really have to pause and like look up the color, the yellow, yellow, like get the colors.
You know what?
Speaking of pause, we have to take a break.
Let's take a break.
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You got this.
Mama, look at me.
Vroom, vroom.
I'm going really fast.
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or talk to your broker conditions apply and we're back with bob ross so you you you just paid in
real time with him monet was in a really bad mood all the all the comments underneath were like wow
monet is really in a mood today monet is a bitch confirmed by the way it's so bob to be like well
i did 10 minutes of Monet.
So on my channel, I'm going to do less time.
I'm going to beat her.
Well, that was Jacob.
Jacob was like, we'll do eight minutes now.
Then I want to go back and do a 10 day sewing challenge where I do something like five hours a day for 10 days.
Oh, making one big project.
Yeah, just make something.
And I can't stop until the end of 10 days and be like, here is my 10 day, five hours a day.
Here's my 50 hour dress
this is what this is what i made with 50 i like some of the shit you make you for i think i went
to see what caroline's i think and you had that black lace gown on and you're like i've had it
forever it's nothing oh i love it that dress i can ball it up put it in my purse it's i've worn
that dress a million times like a million times. And now it's like somewhere in storage.
People don't understand for drag.
Of course, I have to like it.
But if it has some magic utility to it, like you can ball it up.
Oh, my God.
I'm like, girl, that's my favorite outfit.
Yeah.
I've worn cat suits that have just disintegrated into like a puddle over the course of like seven years.
Don't you love when you have like Like a cat suit with a sequin
In the middle
Rubbed out
It literally looks like
I don't even know what it just looks like
It starts to look like
Like burlap
Almost or something
Like slime
Almost
No that's your skin That's when the fabric gives way When you see that skin like slime almost. It's just like completely.
No, that's your skin.
That's what the fabric gives away.
We see that skin.
I was like, I think that's your loose pink sock dangling out of the bottom of your garment. Wait, let me ask you, speaking of which,
I got a call from a friend the other day about fisting.
I'm all ears.
Moving to LA, I like sort of quickly kind of started fisting yeah immediately immediately
both hands in there hop off the plane at la
with both of my hands in him
is it gonna fit it all right oh my god do you do you uh get into fisting i've never fisted anyone
i do have big hands right so a desirable fisting top right've never fisted anyone. I do have big hands.
Right.
So a desirable fisting type right here.
Or some people like the small hands too.
Angina, I'm just going to tell her business.
I was with her and she was like, I love fisting.
And the guys love it because she was like verbatim.
She goes, and my hand's so small, they like it because I can.
And then she started punching the air.
Now, if you don't know, Angina can shop in the men's, women's, and children's.
She has that body type
where she's everything.
She used to buy her clothes
at Toys R Us.
She has tiny tiny clothes.
I've never actually
put my hands
inside of anyone's vagina
or anus.
Is the prospect arousing?
Not particularly, no.
But I do have a fantasy
like visually
for an artistic project
of me sitting on a bed
and like a really luxurious look with like an updo.
Think like how glamorous Manila looked in that outfit with the rhinestone armpit on All Stars.
Oh, with the white hair.
Yeah.
But like something like that.
And then like the camera's like, you can almost see my shoulders.
But then when the camera pans out a little bit bit you can see that I have my up to the
elbow inside of two guys
assholes on either side
and they're wearing unicorn masks and I'm like
fisting them and then when I pull my
hands out they're covered in rhinestones
and jewels.
I've always wanted to do that and put it up on like
Twitter or Xtube or something.
Do it. The only problem with stuff like that is
you do end up saying goodbye
to a lot of potential corporate gigs.
And also goodbye to their colons
with the rhinestones.
Did your vagina picture ruin your corporate gigs?
Oh, which one?
The picture of you with your leg up
and the Photoshop pussy.
The Photoshop pussy one?
No, it was weird.
It was some people loved it.
Some people said it was co-opting women's
bodies some people said it's not all women have vaginas that's what i'm saying yeah i mean it's
it's like the we have to talk about it but like the uh the thing you called me about the other day
the plastic thing yeah it was a lot of different conversations different ideas yeah again not not
all women have vaginas not all men have been one of my boyfriends has a vagina one of my boys is a trans man um and i i've
definitely started thinking more about those kinds of things when there's someone like that in your
life totally and it used to be like women and their pussies be like and then i was like well
not all women have pussies not everyone the pussy a pussy is a woman. So there's 100%.
Yeah.
How did you, um, was this, this is the trying to think of it.
Dating a trans man.
Did we always attracted to like, um, are you bisexual or how do you like sort of know your
sexual preference?
I'm pansexual.
It's how I, how I consider myself.
And I've certainly
had attraction to uh women over the years i've i haven't done anything with a woman since i was in
high school i've been very into women recently quarantine really changed my life fantastic
all this time alone all this time maybe challenging what level of gay not challenging but like all
this time in your house looking at porn and then it was like i'm watching straight porn then i'm watching porn with two women in it and then
suddenly i'm watching a porn of just a girl jerking off and i'm like oh my god i would have
never thought i would be aroused by this but i am and then i was like well how much of this was me
being a kid going i'm gay so i'm not so that's it like i almost created my own box oh there's this
tiktok that i know i'm thinking about making an anti-TikTok Or a TikTok against this
It's this guy and he's like
Yeah mom if I'm gay can I say
Vagina
Vagina
And I want to make the video be like yeah if I was gay can I say
Vagina yes I could say vagina because
I as
Straight TikTok is wilding out
It's a gay guy
The same level of just like stupidity.
Like that whole like women hating gay thing is just so puzzling to me.
It's so weird.
Vaginas are disgusting.
They're really not.
They're great.
No, I mean, or they're just there.
You know, it's like it doesn't have to be.
Well, they're not all great.
I'm sure there's some that I wouldn't find favorable.
But they're all very different.
Dicks are really different. I think But they're all very different. But I,
it's are really different.
I think vaginas are even more different,
but I'm definitely not into the whole idea of gay guys being like,
because these are gross.
That is,
that's gross.
Actually,
I think it's mad gross.
That's like kindergarten behavior.
It honestly really is.
And I'm,
I'm glad that we're in a realm where we're like,
where people are,
it's really weird.
We're in this realm where we're worse on the liberal side of things.
People do feel a little bit more embarrassed by their small mindedness.
Yes.
But on the conservative side,
they're like really proud of it these days.
Oh,
they love it.
It's like,
I saw that the other day was like,
when the straight guy's like,
I don't care if you're gay,
but don't hit on me.
The guy's always fucking disgusting. It's like, I wouldn't even. We weren't, but don't hit on me. The guy's always fucking disgusting.
I was like, I wouldn't even.
We weren't in the danger of hitting.
That wasn't gonna happen.
Yeah, never married.
Jabba the Hutt.
I'm into men, not all men.
Can we talk about TikTok for a second?
I went to your TikTok recently,
and it is,
I have to quote Alyssa,
mama,
this is garbage.
It's not good.
I'm not good at it.
What constitutes a good TikTok?
Okay, so one of the comments I saw on the way to TikTok, I was like, oh my God, this is literally like you're it's not good there were people i'm not good at it there constitutes a good tiktok okay so one of the comments i saw on the way it's like i was like
oh my god this is literally someone said not trixie treating tiktok like instagram stories
oh i'm not good at tiktok i'm not trixie would be like at the meet oh so tiktok is like activity
focused i don't remember what it was like today it was like a it was a tiktok of tix of trixie
in line at the meet and greet like hey, hey, everyone, just getting ready to watch Moving Parts.
That's probably it.
You got to dance and then kick a shoe and all that stuff.
Well, I mean.
Okay, I love TikTok as an idea.
I have a hard time not cringing at all of it.
Oh, cringing is a part of TikTok.
But then something fierce like, girl, don't do it.
It's not worth it. Like that, I only need to see it once and i'm like i'm in yeah i love if you don't know
don't do it girl i'm not gonna do it i'm just thinking about i'm not gonna do it girl
that isn't the best it's usually it's all about this woman who cut her hair but not everyone does
it with like with like everything i wanted to do with moving to la i wasn't looking at plane
tickets don't do it i'm not gonna i'm just thinking about girl, I'm not going to do it.
And then be standing in front of LAX.
Girl, don't do it. It's not worth it.
I'm not going to do it, girl.
I was just thinking about it.
I'm not going to do it. I was just thinking about it.
I was just thinking about it.
Oh, this is a remix.
Also, TikTok went off with
You About To Lose Your Job.
I don't know if you know You About To Lose Your Job.
You About To Lose Your Job. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You about to lose your job. Is that? You about to lose your job.
You about to lose your job.
Get this dance.
Is that the one where like the Biden was at the speech and he was like played that?
So what he actually played was Despacito.
Oh.
So everyone just starts putting in their own versions of whatever.
I loved the Party in the USA one.
Oh, yeah.
And then it shows Kamala dancing and then Trump's running out of the building.
Like, the internet during the election was fucking goldmine.
Because the funniest people on the internet are not Republican.
Patty, don't start.
No shit.
Patty, don't start.
Girl.
Did you make a t-shirt?
That was crazy.
Yes.
We sold so many.
Patty, don't start.
And it was like me, a little bit wine drunk, and that white lady tried it. She said, it was like an old, old, and it was Patty with a little bit wine drunk and that white lady tried it she said it's like an
old old and it was patty with two followers and she just was the most the most patty you've seen
who the fuck do you think you are fuck do you think you're talking to and i just said patty
don't start and then i like laid down for an hour and people who never just so many texts
like my mom sent me this i'm like oh bianca went in on patty but yes
i went in on patty patty dude patty was like i'm walking off twitter patty's because karen is almost
ignorant patty is somebody like that who's like almost like trying to be i'm gonna get on twitter
and let them have it like no patty and who the fuck do you think you're talking to because the
president said something about like they found more more ballots. I'm like, yeah, they found
them in ballot boxes from voters.
Pack your shit. He acts like, yeah, pack
your shit. He acts like they're finding them under someone's car
mat. Like under, girl.
Well, it's really funny because Donald
Trump was like, it's absolutely amazing.
They're finding ballots everywhere.
It's really odd. All of a sudden
all the ballots are blue.
All the ballots are blue All the ballots are blue
I'm like is that weird because you literally told
Every one of your supporters not to vote by man
100%
You were like don't vote by man it's the biggest fraud
Excuse me fraud the likes of which you've never seen
Right
We've never seen anything like this excuse me
It's absolutely insane
And then all the blue votes like
Also when it's Republican senate votes it's valid
the senate votes are absolutely excuse me it's absolutely great i love it how do they manage
to be so like i mean just brazenly hypocritical i i don't what was making me go from zero to a
million was the news going in the past few days the news was going well we're just gonna mute him
because he's saying things that aren't true i'm like where have you been also not to mention people being like you're you're encroaching on
the first amendment let's talk about the first amendment for a second first of all not not only
that but um not amy coney barrett not knowing the first amendment mama i know the first amendment
by heart i learned it in seventh grade three years ago i learned it in seventh grade. And I still know the First Amendment. You were still in seventh grade at 30?
Played the long game.
How do I still know the First Amendment verbatim?
And she was like, wait, what are the rights?
That's so crazy.
Like, bitch, you're a Supreme Court justice.
You should know the first, second.
With no experience, though.
Why can you serve for life?
Why?
I don't know.
Listen, let me tell you right now.
When everyone's ordering food, like, where are we going to order?
Where are we going to eat?
And then grandma pops up like, grandma, you're in your early 80s or early 100s.
You're not getting a vote.
100%.
Meanwhile, when it's like, here are the most important decisions in the land, it is someone who.
18 years.
18 years.
They got you for 18 years.
Like, they want you until you die.
That is insane to me.
Insane.
And let's be honest.
People don't get more rational or open-minded as they get older.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg almost died 25 times.
There is no job that you can keep no matter what.
This is the only job in America where you can just be like, you know what? You got the job job in the world, in America, where
you can just be like, you know what? You got the job.
We can't fire you. It's crazy.
We're just here until you decide you
want to leave. And like, as queer people, we have
to deal with fucking Amy Quinn and Barrett.
She's young. Forever. For the rest of our lives.
She's in her 50s. This is insane. For the rest of
our lives. It's also insane that she
started being a judge in 2017.
Yeah, she has no experience. There's no experience. Our president has no experience. It's also insane that she started being a judge in 2017. Yeah, she has no experience. There's no experience.
Our president has no experience. Well, right.
It's a game, girl.
You see the meme?
Michelle Visage has been a judge longer than Amy Coney Barrett.
Yeah. It's true.
It's crazy. And that's the whole
fellowship of the light thing or whatever the
fuck. It's like too much. Oh, so here's the thing about the First
Amendment. When folks are like, you can't silence Trump.
This is banning our First Amendment right.
Just so you're all clear, if anyone's listening to this, the First Amendment protects your,
you have the freedom of speech.
This is in terms of the government.
This is not in terms of private businesses.
This is not in terms of other people.
I can tell you to shut up, and I'm not encroaching on your First Amendment.
This means the government can't silence you.
The government can't stop you.
The government can't penalize the government can't stop you the government can't
penalize you for expressing your opinions unless you're kathy griffin apparently unless you're
fucking but if you have some opinion that i don't like or twitter which is a private company doesn't
like they can say hey you can't say that here they have policies and you are violating the policies
that donald trump signed up for when he created a Twitter.
When Trump created, he had to, you know, that that's that policy that no one reads.
You just scan to the bottom without reading just sort of allow you to click the little check.
I do it all the time.
Trump did the same thing and he violated the policy that all of us have to abide by when it comes to um twitter well the people seem to think that like the first amendment um shields you from the consequences of whatever you're allowed to say which is that's not the case
exactly well even twitter's cowardly though you're gonna start censoring his tweets the day he starts
to lose where have you been for four years when he lied all the time true yeah why now been them
been lying should have deleted him off the app.
There was a four seasons new.
The four seasons.
I still can't believe that's a thing.
If Shonda Rhimes wrote 2020 and with everything, if Shonda Rhimes was like, listen to me and listen to me well, we're going to start with a pandemic for the whole nation.
No, for the globe.
We're like, okay, interesting concept.
And then about two months in, murder hornets.
They're like, okay.
They're like, not only that we're not done, and then people are going to say Black Lives Matter.
Like, yeah, and then other folks are going to be like, no.
And they're going to be insane.
They're going to be saying Black Lives Matter in places where black people don't even exist.
They will still be saying it.
We're like, OK.
And then we're going to also going to be in an election year.
OK.
Not only that, but the president of the United States of America is going to not concede when he loses.
And they were like, Shonda, you have to make it believable.
You're getting too crazy, girl.
It has to be believable still.
It's like Ryan Murphy.
You got to bring us down to earth.
But like this year is like the weirdest Ryan Murphy, Shonda Rhimes, Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
The Office.
30 Rock.
When they showed up at the Four Seasons Landscaping, I was undone. Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The Office. 30 Rock.
When they showed up at the Four Seasons Landscaping, I was undone.
I honestly don't think that was covered enough.
I think that should have been on every news channel.
This is the stupidest shit I've ever seen.
It's too absurd for Veep.
It's so crazy. And then they go, Rudy Giuliani, all the networks have announced that he lost.
He's like, oh, the networks.
What is happening?
Oh, also he goes,
when they go, well, you know,
the media has announced that Donald Trump,
that Joe Biden is president.
He goes, oh, oh.
Oh, the media.
We're also fully listening to a man
that fucking Sasha Baron Cohen
just tricked into whipping his dick out.
This is who we're talking to.
Maybe we are drag queens and we haven't worn pants in a long time.
I don't remember putting them on that way.
I mean, he's standing in front.
He is standing in front of a garage door across from a crematorium and next door to a fucking porn shop that Melania Trump probably works at.
Girl, he needs to go to that crematorium and next door to a fucking porn shop that melania trump probably works at girl he needs
to go to that crematorium this isn't like how he walked past an adult like he walked past a porn
shop and then was stood in front of this girl who answered the phone at four seasons landscaping
and was like i'm sorry who is this rudy julie can i just say that faggot who worked there whoever
that is is fierce whatever faggot was like
You know what's gonna be cute
This is gonna be so cute
They're gonna sell more merchandise
Than landscapes
They'll ever
They won't have to ever touch
They'll never have to escape a land again
The landscaping is done
They're a merch store now
They're a tourist attraction
It's incredible
I'm ready for it to become
Like common slang
Like well how was your relationship Was it a four seasons relationship or a four seasons total landscaping relationship
you know how was that oh god that is i could not when when he pulled up to that four seasons land
total landscaping i i was just undone i was beside myself i was done It's amazing It's like such a
It's the pathetic little wet fart
To like round out the whole endeavor
Perfect ending
I'll tell you what
Trump has
We are all insane now
Because even those of us
Who believe in democracy
We're still like
What if there is a chance
That Trump actually will
Like get these votes
Count it back because we're 100
traumatized because we're traumatized i don't doubt it at all i mean the stranger things have
happened i had the thoughts of what if he really won't leave and what if the army who's sworn to
protect us really just doesn't kick him out and then he's just the dictator like yeah coup from
the it will then it will it will be like it's like the confederate
verse the confederates and the union versus each other again like but the thing is mary when you
look at the map when you look at the map of the united states of america and it's like you see
all this redness it's like from the stripping through the country rosacea yeah it's the it's
the rosacea when you look at it but then you look at the populations in those areas,
you realize, actually, bitch,
do you know how many people live in Montana? This is no shade
to Montana. 32 people.
This is no shade to Montana. Montana's massive.
It's massive, massive, massive.
I think about a million people live in the entire
state. Yeah.
The entire state of Montana.
That's my condo building. Yeah, that's how many people
have been on RuPaul's Drag Race.
Like,
so what you see on the
map is so much red on
the map, which like, it's actually not that much
red in real life.
Now granted, a little bit under half the country did still
vote for her. Land doesn't vote, Mary.
A little under half the country still did vote
for Ms. Dondo. And more, more
white women voted the second time.
More for Trump.
Tell me you're shocked.
That is, I, it's, you guys, Wisconsin, I love Wisconsin.
I'm so happy they're blue again, but I was there.
I'm from rural Wisconsin.
I was like, why are we letting these buck-toothed bitches
from my hometown decide the president?
How far states went blue?
Boston.
The state of Boston.
The state of Boston is always blue.
Wait, did Massachusetts not go blue? Massachusetts always. Yeah, Massachusetts. blue boston uh the state of boston the state of boston is always blue wait did massachusetts not
go blue massachusetts always yeah massachusetts is a swing but it was for the last for the last
like when i was 18 voting it was blue it was blue again and then it was red for the first time the
last time georgia was blue for the first time did you live clint i was undone the memes of georgia
turning blue girl i'm not gonna not going to do it, girl.
Miss Stacey came through.
That's the tea.
Oh, Stacey Abrams. Where did she get 800,000 plus non-voters to vote for the first time?
Bitch.
Girl, I'm obsessed with Stacey Abrams.
She better go off.
And we're not talking about, this is a political podcast now.
Yeah, yeah.
We're not talking about, you should vote.
Okay.
We're talking about people who are so uninspired by the system
they're like why would i vote it's never going to work in my favor and that whore had to get people
to be like it's all broken but we need to start taking these first steps if georgia can flip
anybody flip verse anyone's verse we're all verse now girl if georgia can be very because georgia
has been legendarily an exclusive bottom. Pig bottom.
But she was like, you know what?
Are Dems the tops and then Republicans are the bottoms?
And I was thinking of who would be less likely to flip.
And I feel like less likely is like a bottom who really loves the bottom.
They're like, not me, honey.
Or they lie about it.
Yeah, there it is.
Because the Trump supporters were like, I don't know who I'm voting for, but they know.
Have you ever baited someone with your penis and then was like oh my verseness
you're fucking ass tonight literally until i was like 30 years old i told people i was versed but
i've absolutely a bottom i have the bottom shame is so real well i have a friend is it really yes
i have a friend who was like who was like tricking people into like thinking he was
gonna top them but then he was like never not once I'm not going to do it girl
when I top again in my lifetime
it will be 9-1-1
transition chromatica
yes
100%
Bob
I just love talking to you
we should take a break though.
Oh, we should take another break.
Let's take a break.
So money is a thing, but it's not everything.
I think you really look at the importance of what are you doing with your time?
The conversations that we've had with our financial advisor is very much building what that framework looks like
that helps support those important things.
The places where you're investing your time
and your resources, your family clearly,
and those closest to you.
Edward Jones.
We do money differently.
Visit edwardjones.ca slash different.
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And we're back.
I just used Trixie's bathroom.
Did I pee in the toilet, the sink, or the tub?
Who knows?
That's the bathroom I never use.
Pee in the trash.
It's like a restaurant where people have to tell me if there's a problem in there.
Did you know there's a turd in the back of that toilet?
There's a problem.
Oh, shit.
You're like, there is now.
After what I did?
Years ago when I ordered Chick-fil-A, don't judge me.
When I was in college, I ordered Chick-fil-A.
And I'll never forget the day this one took a shit in the urinal.
Oh, yeah. And the manager came out and was like forget the day that someone took a shit in the urinal oh yeah and
the manager came out and was like hey guys someone's shit
in the urinal so who's gonna get it
and we were like you get paid the
most I was like I'm 18
I'm a theater major
and that's my shit so I shouldn't have to do
anything about it
I'll never forget I was working at the Chick-fil-A
I was sweeping the floor mopping the floor actually
and this guy I had long hair,
was in a ponytail and this old man was standing behind me.
He goes,
ma'am,
ma'am,
ma'am.
Okay.
See,
she would have responded.
I just assumed he wasn't talking to me because I kept saying ma'am.
And then I turned around and I looked him right in the face and he said,
ma'am,
where's the bathroom?
Oh my God.
And I was like,
it's over there i mean
at that point you were like yeah yeah the career was born well bob do you want to let everyone
know where they can find you yeah go to bob the drag queen.com or type in bob the drag queen
anywhere i mean if you type in bob the drag queen on twitter instagram uh tikt TikTok. I just joined Parler.
Oh, yeah.
That's the one Azealia Banks is on now.
What is it?
What's the team? Parler is just a conservative.
What?
It's like Twitter, but conservative.
What?
What do you mean conservative?
It's where all the Trump supporters try to go.
Right wing?
Yeah.
Isn't Monet accidentally Trump supporter famous now because she tweeted like, I know we're
supposed to meet this other side halfway but fuck all those people.
And then and then Ben Shapiro we tweeted it.
Oh my not.
I am so torn about him because I know I'm damaged.
I think he's so hot.
Oh my God.
Not hot.
But some of the things you guys he's such a good.
Arguer that I've watched things where I've learned like
if I was moderate he could convince
me into a lot of shit if I wasn't
drop his ballot in your box
not just because he's hot but because the way
he seems to have an
answer for everything like
that level of arguer is so dangerous
but those ideas
someone who's really conservative
whose views I
Not views
Not her views but her argument
Like the way she argues and the conviction
With which she argues
Is as an arguer
As an avid arguer
Which by the way sibling if you like arguing
Siblingrivalry.com
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a 7 minute sewing challenge
we're halfway
there now we have 5,000 patrons
so we're trying to like work our way up anyway
that's not the point who's this lady
Shirley Phelps hear
me out
Shirley Phelps
from the Westboro
from the Westboro
if you watch
Shirley Phelps
argue
it's one of the most
she's one of the folks
I was thinking to myself
if you were on our team
you'd be a fucking gay icon
I know
of the Phelps
yeah she's the oldest one
Westboro
she's the maitre d'
of the family now
go on YouTube everyone
and watch her on Tyra
oh
it's the tea
my
first of all what I loved about the Tyra Banks show,
I know we're supposed to be wrapping up.
Tyra Banks was legendarily bad at interviewing people.
The worst.
She would lose at interviews all the time,
and then she would still air it.
She called Naomi Campbell into her studio,
had all the audience leave,
and then confronted Naomi Campbell for two episodes
about how Naomi Campbell made her feel bad when she was young model Naomi Campbell just looked
at her and was like that's your problem not mine and Tyra Banks was like crying Naomi Campbell was
like and and then she still fucking aired it and then uh Shirley Phillips had on the show and she
goes there's Google Tyra Banks saying get the fag off the TV. I don't want to see that. Not watching TV. Me, whatever.
Everyone kept saying Bob when Blair shows up on All Star.
It's not true, but when everyone kept saying that.
The Phelps shit is crazy.
Oh, because she goes, see, you don't hate black people. And then she goes, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
It's one of my favorite.
It's one of my favorite moments.
It's like when this.
I gotta watch that.
It's in the Church of Satan walking down the street.
And they're like, do you love Donald Trump?
And they're in the robes with everything.
And they go, of course we don't.
It's so brilliant.
It's so brilliant.
I love that.
But Shirley Fell is one of those folks.
If she was on our side, she would be a fucking gay icon.
Why do you say that?
Because she's so quick.
She's so smart.
She could have done Chromatica sooner for less money.
She's also just such a powerful woman.
You can't take her down.
She's smarter than you.
She's a fucking lawyer.
Well, she believes in God.
I mean, with that part, I mean.
Everything's a grain of salt here.
These are the same people.
The people in my life are religious, are the same people the people in my
life are religious are the same people who are like covid those numbers seem fishy i'm like you
don't think a wizard in the sky seems fishy the day that i found out that ginger man was a devout
christian i was like all right we good we good we good you just told me everything i need to know
well so is asia. I fucking know.
Asia used to try to preach to me on the fucking tour bus every day about Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
The very one.
The very one.
About saving your soul.
And I was like, I can't.
It's crazy, bro.
Also, like, does this even make, if I told you all the stuff Jesus did, just from any other, let me tell you right now.
If I told you all the stuff Jesus did just from any other, let me tell you right now,
when I was growing up and my religious people would say like, this is all according to God's plan.
It's all according to God's plan.
If this world right now is going according to God's plan, this proves that God is racist.
He is homophobic.
He is trans.
His plan, this plan is shit.
The only way I could believe in God is someone says God made earth.
plan is shit the only way i could believe in god as someone says god made earth and then at one point in like 19 and like maybe maybe around 2016 was like i'm cutting my losses i'm just gonna
leave you guys here so i'm going to a different galaxy because this is shit yeah this is my
prototype we'll give you a beyonce visual album as an outro and then i want you all to die to it
because this is not the ticket this is not what I had in mind this is a bad
plan don't do it girl
I don't need to do it
alright we have to end bye Bob
bye thanks Bob Bye.