The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Believing in Milk & Cookies with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Whilst reclining in the frigid air of Trixie's expansive manse, Trixie and Katya wax poetic about the art of creating country songs, Julia Roberts working at Sbarro, and appearing on Shark Tank to pitch Katya's footskin as a renewable resource. This one is a pure delight. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eligibility and member terms apply. Ciao, babe. Ciao, bello come stai. Welcome to another exciting edition of About the Bit. The About the Bit. You ever been to Italy? No. Italy?

Never. Never. Italy? No. Italy? Also no. No. Is that a real place? It's Never. Italy? No. Italy? Also no. No. Is that a real place?

It's a restaurant called Eataly, which, listen, got to give it up for the branding. Authentic Italiano Cuisine. Yeah. There's this fierce episode of The Office where Michael goes to New York and he's like, I decided to get an authentic New York slice. And it shows him in Sbarro. Oh. I mean.

Do you care about that stuff? About Sbarro? Deeply. When I worked at the mall. Oh, I mean. Do you care about that stuff? About Sbarro? Deeply. When I worked at the mall, oh my God, the pizza, the baked ziti. No, not pasta at the mall.

Yeah, oh honey. No pasta at the mall. Honey. It comes from a freezer. Noodles that were cooked yesterday, I live. Well, noodles that were not only cooked yesterday,

but 50 miles away. Well. Shipped in. But then the digestive process has already started. Straight from Hinkley. Shipped in. But then the digestive process has already started. Straight from Hinkley. Hinkley. Oh my God.

Who had that linguine shipped in? Right from Hinkley. Yeah. Who had her cervix removed? Who was also 12? You want their diseases? Oh my God. Erin Brock of Vinciolini.

She could be the comeback, but for mall Italian food? She's exactly Erin Brockovich with an Italian mustache and a mall outfit. Where is the producer money? They're called Boobshead. When I was on Drag Race All Stars, I had to do Sharon Brockovich. Oh, that's right. And I had never seen the movie, and I had to watch it. I had to watch it.

They let you watch it? Yeah. Okay, well, that's good. When did she let you watch? When? My best drag friend's, squirrel friend's, Bridesmaid's wedding party

was like a parody of an Oscar movie. Oh, I see, I see, I see. So we had to watch The Help, The Queen, Black Swan, La La Land. What?

When? We had to watch all these Oscar movies the weekend before. So I had to watch all these Oscar movies the weekend before so I had to watch like six Oscar movies over the weekend The Queen nothing else to do

oh my god I'm sure she's a lovely woman whatever yeah Mary anybody get time for that anybody get time for that nobody has time for that

dino DNA I would sooner watch a mega clip of them removing dino DNA from Mosquito and Amber what are you talking about you know what I'm talking about I would sooner watch a mega clip of them removing dino DNA from mosquito and amber. What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about.

Do you want to tell the audience about your biking? Oh my God, I do. Sorry. Dear audience, I am sweating the house down boots for Saatchi Realness because I am the proud new owner of an electrical bike. Give it up, Chiz. Electrical bike. Which I have to tell you, I was a little, perhaps rightly so, cautious of the maiden voyage, which was yesterday.

Because the thing is like 4,000 pounds. Wait a minute. That thing's been sitting in your house for weeks. It's been sitting in my house. I've been kissing it and dusting it. I know, but every time I've come over and you go, it's fierce. And you hadn't ridden it yet? No.

I have ridden it, a version of it, before. That's what prompted me to buy the bike. And I, so I went to Jason's to my trainer's house yesterday, got lost because I was vibing. Love it.

And I was like, oh, I'm not going to listen to headphones on the first trip because what if I get, what if I die? You know what I mean? And I have AirPods in. I feel like that could be bad.

Are you kidding? I was coming from David's this morning and I go, can you give me a ride home? He goes, I have a meeting. I said, at noon? I said, I have a meeting at 1130. He goes, yeah, but I have to get ready for my meeting. I said, okay. Well, I guess I'll get on a bird scooter.

And when the talent for your TV show dies, we'll see how good that meeting is. And then he gave me a ride. Well, see, by every way, yeah, whatever means necessary. Do you really have to bully him into giving you a ride home? Not always. I mean, it is like, we've been dating five years. And I have to wake up and go, can you drive me home? Yeah. And then the killer

is he'll be like, no. And then I know as soon as I leave, he drives to go get coffee. So I'm like... What's the problem? It's just not Hollywood. I know. I'm 11 minutes down the road. But that's good though because you have to keep some tension. Do you know what I mean? He also used to pick me up from the airport. So the veneer has rubbed off. He picked you up from

the airport? He used to for years. Oh, Mary, fuck that ride. I would leave you in the dust. His karma is way built up. The airport? He's in the deficit now. Not only that, he could start hitting me. He hits me, but he picks me up from the airport. Honestly, a completely even.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if he hits you for your whole year, you had it coming. Don't say that. Mary Dugan. Get you a man who can do both. Yeah. Meaning pick you up from the airport and beat the shit out of you.

Wait. He hit me, but it felt like a kiss because he left me at the airport or you know you know what i'm saying oh that's a country song yeah oh yeah he hit me every day but it felt like a kiss because he dropped me off at the airport at the delta terminal delta one delta one let's talk about it i love about delta no no let's talk about Delta One. No, no, no. Let's talk about Emirates. Emirates. Let's talk about that shower in the air. Mary, I flew Emirates from Dubai once. Yeah. With Fina Barbital.

Yeah. And Brandon. Right, Brandon? No, it was David Silver. Okay. It was David. Did he shower? Did he shower in the air?

He didn't shower, but there's a nice club, you know? There's like a nightclub on the plane. Yeah, there's a nightclub. And Fina and David, the whole flight, vibing in the nightclub. Not drinking, but oh. Just vibing. It was, you know, the remix of Dusty Springfield's Spooky playing. It was loungy.

They were just like, ugh. Whore derves. But I also love on Virgin Atlantic, they have that, Virgin Atlantic, you know how it's like the cool, like the marketing? I know what you mean. All the flight attendants look like Kylie Minogue. Or Virgin Australia. They all have the bun here. Oh, yeah, yeah. They have the low bun. The chic low bun with the marketing. I know what you mean. All the flight attendants look like Kylie Minogue or Virgin Australia. They all have the bun here.

Oh yeah, yeah. They have the low bun. The chic low bun with the scarf. And painted, Mary, painted. The amount of makeup. Yeah. They came from their shift at Sephora. I know.

I feel like. Double stack lashes. Do you think it's necessary? Would you enforce that as the CEO? I feel safer. You do? Oh, because competent people who are prepared. Yes.

That's a really good point, actually. Do you want the flight attendant who looks like a compact and cast away? With clutching a volleyball? I guess I see your point. However, would you let somebody work without a full face of makeup? No. I think that presentation does matter. And if you're making people

feel safe. Yeah. And let's be honest. It matters more. A plane is a bus in the sky. It's a hotel in the sky. The flight attendants looking wonderful

is one of the only ways to elevate the experience. Yeah, I suppose you're right. Men and women. This isn't a female. Men should have a clean haircut. You know,

look good. Makeup though? If you have like a whitehead pimple, I think you should put some makeup on it. Or put a bandaid on it. Yeah.

Or draw, or do like, a mole? No, like a drawn on black heart, like very Marie Antoinette. Oh yeah. Or a sticker.

Or a face tattoo sticker. A teardrop perhaps. Would you allow face tattoos on your airline? Absolutely. Really? I think, I mean, the discrimination of discrimination against tattoos

needs to stop. Okay, fair. What about always tired under the eye? That's more of a crime to me than tattoos. I'm like, I don't have an issue

with the blatant gang-identifying paraphernalia on your neck. A gang-identified self-mutilation. Yeah, but your eyes look tired

and your lips are chapped. The tattoo on your forehead that says I killed someone, no issue. Not an issue. Yeah. No issue. The fact that you have bags and red eyes. Yeah. Gotta go.

Or like we have a friend who has a neon pink tattoo that says cunt. Oh, is that amputated? And yeah. I have no issue with that. Where is it on her body though? It's on her leg. Oh yeah. So I mean in a flight, I think she would have hosiery.

Yes. She would have hosiery. She also has, she has a thing that says slut in Russian that I think she would have hosiery Yes she would have hosiery She also has She has a thing that says Slut in Russian That I encouraged her to get Love that Yeah I like like Pride Month

Not Pride Month Hi Gay Brass Cancer Awareness Month The flight attendants on Delta Wear pink Which I love Yeah that's great But I think Susan G. Komen

Is up to something She's trying to take pink away from me I think she's trying to I think that she's trying to like Build an empire of pink That has nothing to do. She's trying to take pink away from me. I think she's trying to, I think that she's trying to like build an empire of pink that has nothing to do with women's boobs. But more on that later.

She'll have to get up pretty early to beat me at the pink game. You should be Susan G. Komen for Halloween. Maybe I am. Honestly, it would probably get me

in less trouble than some of my past costumes. That is, that is true. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next-level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry?

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Download Bumble and try it for yourself. Wait, we have to decide about a Halloween costume. Oh, gosh. Well, that's right. That's right now. I don't know if it's been announced, but... What? What? Our Halloween gigs.

Oh, yeah. I'm not even talking about that, though. I'm talking about, uh, we're doing the Halloween episode. Oh, we have to do the Halloween. And I don't know what to be. I have no idea. Do you think I have a closet full of fun, spooky looks? Well, it's not spooky, but fun. Maybe we could do, like, an homage to.

I was going to wear an orange swimsuit and put pumpkin face on it. Like two triangles, a nose and a mouth. So sexy, sexy pumpkin lady. And the green eye shadow for the stem. Oh my God. It's like the girls are like, so I want to look totally different. Um,

I want to look really, I want to go like really out of the box, but I happen to be exactly like me. And, um, so I went into like not crazy makeup, but super dramatic, but also really simple. Yeah. Like huge lashes are teeny. I don't want to look like I have makeup but super dramatic but also really simple

and like huge lashes they're teeny I don't want to look like I have makeup on okay can I see a reference photo and they pull out Megan Fox

on a red carpet I'm like not Megan Fox fucking Dame Edna they're like I don't want to look like a drag queen but I want top

and bottom lashes that aren't long but really long there's no crime in having a vision there's crime in not being self-forthcoming about what that vision is let's be honest about what you really want to do you just want to look sexy

and slightly more done up than you are right now yes can you just sit down on the chair and say i know it's halloween yeah i just want to look really hot yeah there you go give me like a porn eye and like a sexy lip but they don't even want that like they they want, I want to be like a crazy, gross, kooky monster thing. So I guess maybe just blush. Yeah, they do that. I'm doing, we're going to a Hollywood, like, you know. Okay. Either one.

Give me Heidi Klum. Oh. Or give me like, you know. Or the bargain basement bin. Yeah. Five minutes out the door. Oh, it's Halloween. Quick.

You know, I don't know what I'm gonna wear Do you have a favorite Halloween costume you've done? I don't even remember what they are I know last year was like A priest cardinal something It's gotta be the vampire Witch from the future Oh yeah yeah yeah

With the eyeball Yeah the eyeball Yeah that was great That was a good year for me too What else Do you always do sexy? Can't help it I don't know what I'm trying

I don't know what I'm doing I walk onto set And I think I look spooky And then I trip over everyone's huge cocks They're just jutting out of the wall Penis everywhere I look there's a penis Where did all these hard cocks come from I turn to Pete I go we've talked about this

And the veins Your hard cock. It's purple. I'm going to trip on it. Can you at least take off the cock ring on set? Fuck my ass. I love it. What do you think about people wearing cock rings during the day when it's not sex?

Okay. Personally, I am not a fan of cock rings in general. Me neither. I, in fact, they turn me off. Like they actively take me out of the sexual experience. Yeah, same. What about you, Brandon? What is about about it brandon you like the coke ring oh he passed brandon has passed well you know what he does when we're doing stuff like this he'll go in my closet and he'll close the door and he'll sit in there so he doesn't disturb the

sound he'd take phone calls so he's in the closet he's in my closet on the floor don't literally um quiet place because he knows i'll walk in there like we're filming yeah um that's the assistant you need mama i'll say that i've i've seen a cock with a cock ring what i've seen a cock with a cock ring a cock why am i saying it like that i've seen a cock i don't like the word used casually like because we don't really do that in america i feel like it's also just it's always sexualized porn yeah yeah can i see show me show me your cock show me a big fat well you know on porn hub they don't say dick but they add on porn hub always be some girl fingering herself being like, you want to show me your cock? Always that word. Well, it's not dick because dick is too playful.

Yeah. K-A-W-K. Cock. Cock. Show me your penis. I guess it's the alternative is like the ill... Show me your cock. Hey.

Hey. Hey. I like your cock. Hey, guy. Will you show me your cock real quick? It's so big. God, the head. That's the purple, huh? Do you say that in the bed real quick? It's so big. God, the head. That's the purple, huh?

Do you say that in the bed sexy times? Cock, the word cock? Or did you say dick? Dick. Dick. Cock is a little, who am I pretending to be? Rebecca Moore. Right.

My Sophie Anderson is not convincing. You know, like when I'm sucking dick and i do that thing in porn where girls put their hair back and there's nothing there there's nothing there yeah i'm just oh she's good i'm doing a moment yeah you're doing like um a pictures thing that code that like wait sophie anderson and rebecca moore's halloween costumes oh kind of expensive no no no you get balloons right no. You get balloons, right? And then you just get... Well, we have breastplates. You're, um...

Yeah, but you need big. You need... You don't think ours are big enough? I don't think yours are big enough for Sophie's. Do you know how big hers are? But I have the Dolly Parton ones, which were bigger. Are they really big?

I mean, they have to be huge. They're big. They're not probably... They're not Jimbo. Okay. I mean, do we have to do Jimbo? Oh, wow. Why did she invent... Sorry, when did she invent breasts? Jimbo Okay I mean do we have to do Jimbo Yeah I mean Oh wow Why did she invent Or sorry

When did she invent breasts Jimbo Yeah Did you know that If you wear A breastplate online You have to pay homage To the fact that

Jimbo invented Oh James Mansfield Anytime I wear a breastplate It's James Mansfield What is that Why do people feel Compelled to do that Because Their Only reference And scope of drag What is that? Why do people feel compelled to do that? Because

their only reference and scope of drag is a television program. Yes. Talking to you. But they don't realize. But you don't realize? You don't smell that? That shit in your mouth? People weren't wearing titty plates since before any of us were born. Yeah. Tang Dynasty.

I would say that the original titty plate Eve from the Bible. Yeah. Tang Dynasty. I would say that the original titty plate, Eve, from the Bible. Yeah. Excuse me? Maybe look at, pick a book up, you fucking cock. Cock. Cock. Sucking dick and cock.

Okay. So I'm not going to die in this bike. I'm not going to die in this bike. You're wearing the helmet. I'm wearing the helmet. I have the helmet over the hat, which makes me look a bit prepared. Okay. For anything.

You know what though? Sun in your eyes seriously safer i have um glasses but i mean the brim yes safer safer um i got my little spf i got my glasses but i'm just i don't know i'm worried because the people in la are really they're ornery you're pushing 40 on an electric bike. We're all worried. Yeah. Okay. The traffic's not the issue here. It's the red flag. You know what you're one step from? One of those fuckers who has those bikes where you sit down. Oh my God. With a little flag.

With a flag. And some of my favorite stickers. Oh, stickers. And also not headphones. Your own radio. My own radio. I see a bad moon rising. My own radio with giant headphones corded into it.

Oh. On my lap, trying to change the thingy, you know what I mean, do the dial. And then there's a sticker on the back that says, how's my driving? Call 1-900-SOCK-DICK and suck my ass. Suck on my dick. If you ever got a car, would you get a vanity plate? I would not get a vanity plate. Great drag name.

Oh, yeah. Vanity plate. What is her last name? Vanity Fair? Don't know. It's Friday. The weekend. The real me comes alive.

I think it's the Fair. That makes sense. Yeah. Great name. Such a good name. Such a good face. Have you seen the cover of Courtney Act's book? Gorgeous.

Are you kidding me? Courtney Act's book called Caught in the Act, which I guess you coached her into that. I did. Yeah. She wanted to name it Inflagrante Delicto. Are you lying? No. I mean, I love that, but mama, this ain't corny.

We're selling books. This ain't clue. Yeah. Mary, this isn't corny we're selling books this ain't clue yeah i mean mary yeah this isn't intro to latin at cornell we're not a banister in the 1830s and who's buying this yeah i learned something new what a non-binary people say nb i just learned that too i nby and i learned that the other day and i was like i feel real stupid i you know what's stupid i said what is and then as soon as I said it I went oh Mary I didn't get I understand it up and I had even after having

looked it up I was still a bit confused and then Andrew's like oh it's envy but that's what's great about being open-minded we're always learning and we're always growing growing oh my god you know I feel very fortunate that I'm a cis male because imagine imagine how tired we are having to explain to people if you're non-binary do you have to explain that to people every other week or do you just go Mary look it up and then walk away

I mean think about like the time you've had to explain to customs what you do for work oh my god imagine that every day it depends on your energy level depends do i want to do the heavy lifting for someone depends on how they look where they have a hard cock right in front of you you know what i mean or a full a full full pussy i was trying to think of the engorged wet pussy. Engorged wet clit. Yeah.

Tumescent clitoris? Is a hard cock is the equivalent of wet pussy? Yeah, right? I mean, in colloquialism. Hard cock would be like a pulsing clit. No. Because if you're turned on, I'm hard. Yes.

If you turn on with a vagina. Wet. As a woman, a person with a vagina. A person with a vagina. Wet. We're clearing it up for people yeah listen also the fact that there's so much mystery still surrounding the the female or let's just say vagina yeah the vulva and the clitoris and all that stuff it's kind of dazzling sometimes i worry that i'm a gay person i still know more about it than straight men must right well i mean

straight men are probably like they don't ask but they go down they explore do you know what i mean like they they have the experience they dive into the the cave but sure a lot of people probably still think that that you piss out of the the pussy they do don't they my sister had her baby i just have to tell you this because i asked her i said i you know, I've never been this close to someone who's been pregnant where I can ask anything, anything, anything. I mean,

I used to change her diapers. So like I know I've, you know, so I know her body as a child. So we're very, and she's always been very open about sex and everything. And I go, can I ask you,

how do you feel? She's like, it was the worst pain ever. And she hadn't, she had a, um, the dural. Yeah. And it still was horrible. She was like, I don't think I could do it again. Yeah feel she's like it was the worst pain ever and she hadn't she had a um epidural yeah and it still was horrible yeah she's like i don't think i could do it again yeah she's like i'm so proud she's like i didn't put my pants good did she get ripped apart she's

like i don't put my pants oh she was like so like and what she's like i didn't put my pants and what bitch like she was so excited the tiktok dance for that i'm sure is pretty fierce yes uh what did what then i said how's she said she said oh she doesn't mind i'm saying this Like she was so excited. The tick tock dance for that. I'm sure it's pretty fierce. Yes. Uh, what did, what did I said? How's your, she said, she said, I hope she doesn't mind.

I'm saying this, whatever. She was like, I did tear a little, but I guess that's normal. And I go, how bad I said, are you going to be walking tomorrow?

Or is your pussy hit the ground like a wet bandaid? And she was like, not that. She was like, okay, good. Like a wet sack of grapes. Yeah.

Just, but she did it. It's just so weird to think about. No. I remember when my sister was a baby. So the baby's having a baby. Yeah. I don't know why that's blowing my mind.

And then that baby might grow up to one day. Have a baby. Have a baby. What's the, was it Odelia? Odina. Odina. Okay. Odina.

Full head of hair. It's four inches long. More hair than I've ever had. Are you serious? Yes. So much hair. Wow. She's Native American. Odina. Full head of hair. It's four inches long. More hair than I've ever had. Are you serious? Yes. So much hair. Wow. She's Native American.

That's. Father's African American. Hair is. Lit. Huge. Perfect. Flawless. Wow.

Not relatable content on this channel. Hairline starts one half inch above the eyebrow. Pretty much. Like I saw. I'm like this person's two years old and came out. Two years old? Two days old. Two days old. This person's two days old and came out. Two years old? Two days old. Two days old.

This person's two days old and came out with a full weave. Yeah. A yaki bundles, mama. Six yaki bundles. Virgin Remy Brazilian bundles. Get those bundles. You can't bundle that baby up quick enough. It's wild.

That baby came out bundled. Bundled. I'm having babies. Are you sure you're going to do the nails? You know, you got to do the ears first. You got to get the baby up quick enough. It's wild. That baby came out bundled. Bundled. I'm having babies. Are you sure you're going to do the nails? You know, you got to do the ears first. You got to get the ears pierced now. Well, we immediately talked about it. She's, my sister's been on the YouTube channel, very girly girl as it is.

And we were already like, we got to get the wig, acrylics, lashes. Let's do it. You should do all, you should get Latisse now. Because I mean, mama, when she turns 13, it's going to be a wrap. And then you do the acrylics on those baby fingers because she ain't touching nothing. I also have a hard time understanding pregnancy makes sense. There's a baby makes sense. I just, not to be ignorant, that baby was in that person.

Wait, wait. That baby was in that person. I've never. That baby was in that person. I've never met the baby because it's three days old. Yeah. But I've also sat this close to her seven months pregnant. So I guess I've been

a foot from the baby. Does that, you know, that's the same body. I don't mean to be ignorant, but I'm gay. I don't think about having babies. So I'm just like, what? Can you think about

having something in your body that's living? I mean, you know, I wish. Not against your will. Well, I've got a lot of things alive in me. Yeah, my cock. What about several hundred million

sperm? Your dad's cummies. We're taking a break. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands.

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Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. And we're back. Cummies. Daddy's cummies. What about daddy's cummies? Your life is about to change forever. What? Is that something you say during sex?

Not me. Not me, Mary. Zero conversion. This is the act of passing on a virus such as HIV to a person who's there. Willingly. Willingly or not to accept it. Well, sometimes also ceremoniously. We're not condoning it.

We're just talking about it. No, no, no. Yeah. But some people, it's like a, today's the day. Today's the day. I'll get healthcare. Do you know what I mean? Today's the day.

I'll be eligible for housing. I don't, yes. I don't, I don't understand it. I think the only way to, to, to grasp it and move on is to say one of those like colloquialisms like, well, takes all types, you know, I don't really understand it, but takes all kinds. Yeah. I also don't have peanut butter. Others like to catch AIDS. Do you remember when we were on some kind of press tour where I said, you know, you can have chili or chili with noodles. And I don't know what I was saying. It was that we were doing press for, and yeah, you said, I still don't, I am so curious about that moment. I don't know what I was saying.

You can have chili or you can have it with noodles. Listen, I'm trying for sound bites. They're not always successful. You can have one lunch or you could have six or seven. You could go to five or six stores or just one. Can we talk about the elephant in the room, which is this fat fucking air conditioner. This hot, This fucking sexy, fat,

thick, viscous gel, hot, snappy, fucking freezing cold air. I am getting tentacle porn. Got you together. Sexualized by this air conditioning.

Yeah. I want to like, that's the duct or the vent. It's one of many, you know, you know, you know what I want to do. I'm going to get on a ladder.

I want to suction cut my asshole to that fucking grate and then just suck up all that cold air. It's so sickening. It's so sickening. It's fabulous. They'd be like, how did Trixie die? That idiot plugged in 12 window units and didn't ventilate the room and died. Carbon monoxide. Yeah.

And she loved every minute of it. She died doing what she loved. I love air conditioning. I got to tell you, the mix of being a Californian now and a drag queen. Oh, yeah. Air conditioning matters to me more than the company I keep. Oh, Mary. It starts air conditioning, then air, then food, water, and so on and so forth.

Oh, I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something. I went to a makeup event last night. Colourpop launched the Powerpuff Girl collection with Colourpop and I was already in drag filming

with Eureka so I said, it's down the street. I'll go. I'll take a lap. Have a free drink. Come on. And I love Colourpop.

And you get goodies, right? Got goodies, of course. And I go there and who's there but Miss Gina Gum. Love it. She's on the patio. What is she doing?

But I have to tell you it's a makeup event at 5.30pm on a patio in the summer in Los Angeles oh no no no so everybody's there

in makeup looks and wigs and we're like melting melting melting so I love color pop but indoor next time please but there's free drinks which I love

and then Miss Gina Gum comes up and it's a power pop event she's in a blue I mean suggestion of a dress a swatch of fabric scraps tied together by you know two pinwheels She's in a blue, I mean, suggestion of a dress. A swatch of fabric. Scraps tied together by, you know, two pinwheels and some floss.

And she comes up and she's in two pigtails and she goes, tricks. Because, you know, we go way back, like pre-drag race. She goes, tricks. That's right. You do, yeah. And we were talking about management. We were talking about how a lot of the newer girls don't have managers. Yeah. And a lot of the. girls don't have managers. Yeah.

And a lot of the. Were good ones, yeah. Yeah. And she goes, at this point, Trix, the dolls are the dolls. Which I think means, like, I don't know what she meant. But I get what she meant. You don't know. I do.

I do. I don't know what she meant, but I get what she meant. I do, I do. It's like, you're either a doll now, or you're never going to be a doll. You know what I mean? The dolls are the dolls. And then she doesn't drink, but they're serving alcoholic drinks with boba. So she goes, is that boba? And she goes and gets a non-alcoholic boba and kills it.

And I was like, how's the boba? She was like, it's good. non-alcoholic boba and kills it and i was like how's the boba she was like it's good yeah and she's in the cutest little purse an acrylic bag that has nothing but um a selfie light in it a purse with a selfie light just gia is everything you want her to be oh yeah when she came to my birthday party she had her own like um photo shoot right by the dj booth and she was like i latex i mean latex done uh flawless and then just tuned out the whole room. And she was like, I mean, latex done flawless. And then just tuned out the whole room. You know,

it was like, I love that. I love that kind of like that, that power. I could never do that. Always through self-conscious, but she just does like, Oh no,

no. Yeah. It's fierce. Yeah. So then she, she did a couple other things, which I love. She goes,

the dolls, the dolls. So then she's going to the pretty, not dolls. At this point, the dolls are the dolls. So then she's going to the pretty young, not pretty young thing, pretty, what's that company? Pretty Little Things. Pretty Little Things. She's going to that event afterward. And so she's downstairs.

We're downstairs in the lobby and we're waiting for the car. Okay. And she's going, she's taking selfies. People are walking by trying to get in the restaurant and she's stopping traffic to take pictures. And then the girl at the reception goes,'m really sorry i my manager my manager's here so i'm probably gonna have to ask you guys to leave and i couldn't help but think by the way transphobia um just because she's dressed in xenophobia that too just because she's dressed provocatively and taking photos doesn't mean she's doesn't mean she's a whore exactly she's a hello i was just like and then she and then jay goes it's okay doll i've been kicked out of places before

and then lee i mean i just loved it i loved it i mean unshakable and then but then get into this i go jay you look she looked gorgeous of course i go you look amazing she goes she goes doll i came here yesterday thinking the event was yesterday i read the flyer to rsvp yesterday and so i came in this look she did a dry run she came in and no one was there and she was like i'm here for the makeup event they were like what so she's there in like basically it's fierce though a club dress and full drag makeup and they were like what are you here we're not doing that. Think about the girls, the dolls usually late. That's

a day early? A day early. That's pretty fierce. She's more punctual honestly. Yeah. Did a dry run. I know. I just thought it was so funny because I'm like you know what Gina that's why you don't work in scheduling and that's okay. That's why we don't have Gina Gum in logistics. We have her on the main stage.

I love Gina Gum because every time I see her, I get some kind of little story like that little nugget. A nugget or like a really perfect poetic encapsulation of like. It's like a tableau. Oh, yeah. Like a theater. She doesn't really want to break the fourth wall. I don't think there's any walls in the Gina Gumm experience.

It's a wall-less venture. And then she goes, so Trix tricks how can the doll get on the pr list wait for your makeup yes and i said well you just got on it sis you just cornered me at the party and you know reminded me shame me yes that's so funny i mean she's like i i think that she sort of lives her life as if it's always being videotaped. Does that make sense? And even in private little moments like that often you'll find these things where like, is there a camera

here? Because this is gold. Do you want me to hit the thingy? Yeah. Start that and stop it again. Should it be going? It's going. I think we lost you for a couple minutes. Nobody be mad. Whatever. We'll put in a picture of a pumpkin. Love it. I mean, I'd like people people know the milk and cookies thing tell again please

we were in a cab in Brazil and just me her and Laganja just going god knows where probably get lunch and she just turns to me and says huh Jim do you believe in milk and cookies what does it mean I don't know Santa Claus we're not talking about Christmas Do you believe in milk and cookies? What does it mean?

I don't know. Santa Claus? Like, I don't know. We're not talking about Christmas. We weren't talking about anything. I believe it was just after a pretty long silence. Uh-huh. She broke the silence with that truth bomb.

And what did you say? I said. Did you just laugh? I probably just laughed for like 20 minutes and said, I think so. Do you believe in milk and cookies? Do you believe in milk and cookies? Do you believe in milk and cookies? There's a NYX lip color I love called Tea and Cookies and every time I use it I think of that. I mean, yeah.

She was on All Stars for what? Two, three episodes? Iconic? Iconic! I'm sorry. And even with Farrah, it was just great because she's so produced and Farrah's so kind of raw but that storyline was just so fucking magnetic. There's a

few things. Gina going I was so bored after that performance. Girls soak up that sponge in your forehead. Sweating her forehead. That also when Fair goes like you're insecure and Gia goes oh mom I'm very secure

are you secure? That's the perfect Reality TV Strategy I don't I don't know what you're talking about What are you talking about Yes I don't know what you're talking about

What are you talking about Also Well there's room for everyone Let's just say that What privilege Everything Everything What you wanna do

Is not necessarily What you're gonna do Ah On the On the On the fridge On the fridge At our management company they're on the

fridge what you want to eat is not necessarily what you're gonna eat in parentheses you fat fucking bitch yes and it's helpful and it applies to everything and nothing do you believe in milk and cookies that will pop into my head anytime because i don't know what exactly it's yeah. It's, yeah, it's like one of the, it's a Zen koan. It's a riddle that's supposed to, meant to provoke enlightenment. She's an icon. Yeah.

I just get excited every time I see her. I mean, she's very exciting. She's very exciting. Do you think it, we have talked about Gia Gunn for 20 minutes. And before that, we talked about Vanity for about five.

So are we chasers? Oh, we're chasing the dolls. We're, we're drag chasers five. Are we chasers? Oh. We're chasing the dolls. We're drag chasers. Are we race chasers? Are dolly, dolly amorous? Dolly amorous?

Oh, that's the other good Gia one. Dolly amorous. When Gia was saying, is the person attracted to drag queens, trans women, crossdressers, et cetera, she goes, does he worship the dolls? I love it. And I still use it. Yeah. And it is particularly apt to worship the dolls because often men, I would say men or,

you know, anybody really who is on that track, they're on it. They're on to different types too. Yes, definitely. But they are, they have a singular kind of focus when it comes to securing the bag of the doll. Do you know what I mean? In a bag in the trunk. Yes. Like they will chase you down the highway. They will stop at nothing. We talked about it.

I used to leave the club and that car would pull up and tinted windows and roll the window down this much. Yeah. Which is very helpful. Oh sure. No. No. Oh since I don't choose murder today thank you I know me my dumb ass be like well he sounds kind of cute if I wanted

to roll the dice I go down to Pottawatomie and play craps Pottawatomie Casino in Milwaukee Wisconsin oh that's where y'all have casinos oh yeah because it's a part reservation there right right right yeah so they have casinos and it would be like Oneida, Pottawatomie, all of them. And a lot of the gays will go out, and the bar closed.

They go to Pato. We're going to Pato. We're going to Pato. Going to lose some money. They're going to Pato. Do you ever do that gamble? Never. I'd rather just throw my money in the trash.

Mary. Just throw it in the trash. Or shop. Whoa. Yeah. I'd rather buy Bubblyly bounce for my fridge yeah or shopping you go to bubbly bounce when you think of shopping that's a luxury carbonated flavored water with caffeine in it okay that's not they're not giving that out at relief centers do you know

what i mean you're still very much salt of the earth. Well, when I splurge, I buy bottled water. What the fuck do you buy? I'm sorry. A dragon? I know. Brandon went shopping for me today, and I was like, Brandon, I want to try that bubbly bounce. I want to be bad.

That's me being like wild with my money. Yeah, you are. Oh, God, she's decadent. She got fizzy soda. Well, no, I have changed a little because now I'm obsessed with Nordstrom. Okay. I just asked David today. I said, if we get married, can we get married at Nordstrom?

At the cafe. You don't have to get... Can we get married at Nordstrom cafe? That's the trashiest thing ever. That's literally the definition of trash. You should get registered at Nordy's. At once a day, I turn to David and I go, why don't you buy me anything from Nordstrom? And he's like, this bit you're doing is not funny.

It's not a bit. I said, for the honeymoon, I want you to take me anything from Nordstrom? And he's like, this bit you're doing is not funny. It's not a bit. I said for the honeymoon, I want you to take me shopping at Nordstrom. A big one. A big Nordy's. Would you do a Nordy's rack? No, it's gotta be the,

although I've heard good things. I've never been. I've loved it. Is it like TJ Maxx? It's like a up market TJ Maxx. If you have found something good at Nordstrom, let us know in the comments or on Twitter. Do you love Nordies? Do you love the rack?

The rack. If you found a good thing. Well, the rack. I love the rack, mama. The rack. The rack is good. It's like TGI, not TGI Fridays, TJ Maxx. Yeah.

But. Well, I read these men's health magazine articles about being more European and owning far less clothing, but only nice clothing. Yes, yes, yes. So now I'm interested in being like, if you have one pair of blue jeans, you don't need four. Well, you don't because if you have one pair of nice blue jeans, they'll last forever. Right. Forever.

So I've been trying to like, if I haven't worn it, let it go. I have a stack of Drag Race shirts. It doesn't mean I need to keep all of them. We're thrifting. Do you thrift? Do you pass? I used to. Oh, give away? Yeah, give away. Oh, we donate everything. It doesn't mean I need to keep all of them. We're thrifting. Do you thrift? Do you pass? I used to. Oh, give away?

Yeah, give away. Oh, we donate everything. We don't throw them away. No, no, no, no, no. I mean, like, do you, what's it called? Upsteel? I don't know. What's it called?

Upcycling or recycling or? Oh, like going thrift shopping? No, like when you, what does upcycle mean? Upcycle means I'm not going to throw away this planter. I'm going to turn it into a brush cup. Like you're just using it for something else. I think, right? Is that upcycling?

Upcycling? So I don't remember. But anyways. What is upcycling? You can like, what is it? Okay, it just says cycling. What is upcycling? It's known as a creative reuse.

It's the process of transforming byproducts, waste materials, useless or unwanted products into new materials. Yeah. Okay, upcyc. Okay, so like I upcycled my jokes into better a new show. Yeah, if you turned your Altoids tin into a wallet. Which I've done. Well, that's the great too. Yeah, waste not, want not.

But yeah, I don't like um especially boy stuff i want to have it all in um one closet yeah they were saying in men's health they were saying like uh live like james bond like if you had to take your whole one thing in a suitcase tomorrow you could who would be in that suitcase for you well they were saying like you really need one dark denim. Yeah. And a pair of like neutral blue or green chinos. Okay. Blue or green? Like an olive.

Okay. They were saying olive chinos are deceptively the most like universal type of pant. I guess. Okay. I don't know about chinos in general. I don't have any. I'm not trying to do that. But I want to get into the chinos.

Well, we're getting, I mean, I'm that age now. Well, that's the problem. I should have a shoe jeans all together. I'm bald. Now I'm just wearing chinos. Yeah. So chinos on me, 24 hour photo. What? Robin Williams in 24 hour photo.

Is he a serial killer in that? Yes. I mean, I think it's like past that. It's like a step beyond. Dilbert, Philbert. I think it's like past that. It's like a step beyond Dilbert, Philbert.

Um, uh, do you think I look worse than Robin Williams playing an old serial killer? Great. Um, and they also said, uh, you need like a denim jacket and then like a, like a black bomber jacket,

something where with both. Okay. They said like a pair of like white sneakers, like more casual. And then a pair of like black leather sneakers. Cause that can be dressy. Oh, okay. But and then dress shoes as well?

I think they said one dress shoot up. Like, yeah. Okay. And then they said like, you know, a few different t-shirts. A thong. A thong panty and a wig, a clown wig. I have so many socks and so many underwears that I have a hard time throwing them away. I recently had to do the purge where I went, if it doesn't have a sister sock, it's going.

Oh, yeah. And for underwear, I'm 31. Some of my underwear I've had since probably college. And I was like, we got to let it go. But it was in good shape. There's no holes in it. Are you sure? The elastic was good.

That brown crust. Don't yell at me. The brown crust. It's not like I'm going to wash it. Are you sure? The elastic was good. That brown crust. Don't yell at me. The brown crust. It's not like I'm going to wash it. I'm not going to be villainized for using it. You know what? Maybe it's a country thing. Like, use it until it's... Yeah, brown and crusty.

Right. Yeah, yeah, no. I can't wear socks two days in a row, but I could wear underpants more than one day in a row. Do you do that? No. See, that's what you just said is wrong. Me washing and keeping underwear for 10 years is not weird. No, no, no, no, no, no. Living in underwear? No, not living. I'm saying one time. So Monday to Tuesday, it could happen. Socks could not happen. That's why I have so many socks. Do you know what I mean? Okay, but Monday to Tuesday is one day. Yes. That's what I meant. Socks is one day. I'm saying that wearing a pair of socks or a pair of underwear for two days in a row can only happen with underwear for me.

Yeah, I mean, out of necessity. Yeah. I can't put on a crunchy sock. I don't sweat at all. No, I mean, I'm talking about my feet are idling at kiddie pool. It is hammer time. Yeah. Wet feet.

Wet feet, but also here's the thing i scrape them with the uh the the cheese grater in the shower every day every time i shower and they're had they have an ability to turn over skin that i think is like they're making up for something or do you know what i mean like they're in debt yeah my secret talent or my superpower is just having extremely maybe we need to learn to make things out of your foot skin the way people make things out of bamboo because it grows so fast and it's renewable it's a natural resource like pretty soon i'll be like i love that ashtray thank you foot skin which speaking of my gay uncle's foot skin which speaking of you left American spirits in a lighter

out here and they've just been sitting here well I know it's like planting bombs around the city but two people have come over

and gone are you smoking now I said who's you think that is they were like she smokes American spirits they were like

what did you think I smoked menthol Newports well no like for you that's turning a new leaf oh yeah because it is

a safe cigarette yeah it's turning over which by the way turning over a new leaf. Oh yeah. Because it is a safe cigarette. Yeah. It's turning over, which by the way, turning over a new leaf, a tobacco, it's the same leaf. What does that mean? Oh, it's because it's a different side. Turning over a new leaf. I don't know what that means. I'm turning over a new leaf. Mary, that's the same leaf. That's the same leaf. Somebody on the pit stop said that I think, and I was like, oh my God, you're fooling yourself. You know what else? Somebody said on the pit stop that blew my mind

Heidi said everybody always says I don't want to send her home Because I want to beat the best If you send her home you did beat the best Isn't that a gag Also enough with the Enough with the Enough with the what do you call it The skittish drag

But enough with the like, I did, did, did, did, did, did, did. Be Gina Gumm. Be Gina, be Naomi Smalls. Yes, be Naomi, be ruthless, be calculated, most of all. Be entertaining. Mary, look her right in the eye and say,

I sent you home because I was afraid if you stayed, you would win. And I want to win. There you go. Boom, boom, boom. Like that's the television show everybody's trying to make. Do you know what I mean? And that's the competition you're trying to win are you joining all stars this season i am i'm not watching

it i you have unfairly advantage yes do you love it i mean listen i'll tell you what i did i paid 10 fucking dollars for paramount plus so that i could watch laganja uh jump from a split or jump into a split from the ceiling and that's all I've watched so far. Oh the Laganja lip sync was fucking lit. It was great. Lit. Lit. I mean it's funny that like you know sorry World of Wonder but like they kind of

destroyed her for her her black scent and her verbiage and her vocab and then proceeded to use it and mine it for jokes and laughs and content for the subsequent seasons on that show yeah and then invited her back as if nothing had ever happened i mean listen listen the thoughts and feelings of katya's amalachkava are not mine and do not reflect the values of trixie mattel llc as a whole the views expressed by this garbage

person do not necessarily reflect but you know know what I mean though. Is that should I cut that? No. I think LaGanja it was like joyous seeing her on Drag Race in a way where she was like I love myself. I'm comfortable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm here to do what I do extremely well. Yeah. Yeah. Although

I'll say this Trinity was the lip syncer right. It was against Trinity. Trinity K. Bonet. Yeah. She gave her a fight bitch. She did through that four inch flipper. I would have laid down. That taken a short nap. this. Trinity was the lip syncer, right? It was against Trinity. Trinity K. Bonet, yeah. She gave her a fight, bitch. She did. Threw that four-inch flipper. I would have laid down. I'd taken a short nap. No. Trinity's a fabulous lip syncer, though. If anybody's going to go against Laganja, it should be her.

You know what I'm saying? At my level, I would have been like, do you need me on Spotlight? Yeah, should I? I can collect tips for you. Sarge, take a break. I'll work the camera. Yeah, totally. Water, spritz.

Yeah. I'll be the spritz girl. Kind of stack of money and just throw it. Yeah. Didn't they ask you to come back and be a lip sync assassin? They sure fucking did. Tell the story. I was in, I don't know, I think I was on tour, so I would have had to like fly and whatever.

And I said, a lip sync what now? Assassin? I don't believe that I qualify for that role, having been. Someone lied to her several times, a lip sync attack many times or four times. And I was like, okay, I would go if I was guaranteed to win.

I don't know that they can do that or we'll do that. You know what I mean? I just don't want to go make a fool out of myself. Would you ever compete again? No, no, I would not. I wouldn't either.

I would not compete again. There's I, it's again the dolls are the dolls maybe that's what Gina meant she was a foreshadowing the dolls are the dolls I mean that's that is actually very like heavy and wise at the same time

because she's right in a way it's a big deep field to compete in and if you haven't already snatched something, good luck to you. Yeah. Do you agree that the dolls are dolls? Well, I think everyone's like drag's hotter than ever. I'm like, there are 45 million people in wigs right now. Drag is a concept. Yeah, maybe

hot, but the drag goldmine for individual earners. There's always someone skinnier and prettier than you willing to do it for free now. In less than that. Yeah. Good luck. Willing to actively conspiring against you in whatever. Once you're dead.

Yeah. Well. At this point. Shit. Well. The pod is the pod. The pod is the pod. Do you want to,

I know you're going to want to wrap up and have a cigarette before we work on our next book. Yes. I don't know if we're, have we announced our book? Are we allowed to say? Oh, well it was the one year anniversary apparently of our first book. Really? Yeah. Bookiversary. Yeah. I don't know if we're have we announced our book? Are we allowed to say? Oh well it was the one year anniversary

apparently of our first book. Really? Yeah bookiversary. Yeah. Do you want to grab it? It's on the bookshelf. Grab it. Sorry I guess I could have

got up if I would have known it was going to be a presentation. The whole bookshelf comes down. Could you imagine? I get really worried about that bookshelf

because it is a lot of stuff on it right now. Earthquake, mama. Earthquake. Yeah. It's spooky. Isn't it you who always says we're due for the big one?

We are. It's not, it's a fact though. What does that mean? So it, when you, if you catalog the movement of the plates and you kind of like predict the next kind of big one, it's going to happen.

We're due for the big one. Within our lifetime. Northridge, you hear that? I'm coming. Oh, I love, Nordy's.

Nordy's. Yeah. I love that picture. I love it. I think that, um, it's still on sales on Amazon. Um,

New York times bestseller, honey. Beautiful, gorgeous. I kind of feel like we're not given our due credit for how beautiful and amazing we look in this book. Tell them. I think that as the creator of this content, I feel slighted by your lack of engagement with the product. Also, first people in wigs to have a New York Times bestseller.

Everybody can eat my shit. RuPaul. Bianca. Dead. Bald. Forgotten. Death. Irrelevant.

Yeah. Death. Death, forgotten, irrelevant. Yeah. Death to all of them. How about that TikTok star? Mary, this show will become the Wendy Williams recap show. Absolutely. The Wendy Williams apologist hour. I mean. Does anybody know who that is?

Anyway, he was murdered. What? After two minutes of talking about how, I don't know anything about TikTok. This guy has more TikTok followers. I don't know Instagram. Whimsical, ridiculous. He was murdered this weekend, 19 years old.

It wasn't even funny. It was like. It was shocking. Oh, gosh. I was like, Wendy, why did you do that? Why did you have that crazy setup? Jeez. Death toll.

David was, say I was talking about getting a COVID again, and I don't have COVID, but David was like, there's been zero hospitalizations from people who are vaccinated. So if you get it, it won't be that bad. And I go, death to none of them. Death to none of them. But yeah, people aren't going to the hospital for COVID if they're vaccinated. No,

they're, they're, what are they doing? Just languishing at home? They're sick and they're not hospitalized. I want the Lambda variant. The gay one? The Lambda variant?

There's like, you know, the Delta. There's the Kappa. I want Delta, but I want sky priority. I want priority boarding. I want Delta one.

I want the Lambda legal variant. So I want to beoarding I want delta one I want the limbs of legal variants so I want to be gay and have all I want an attorney who's going to represent me in the hospital court well I guess that's the pod

get the 40 was it 42 bucks or something less than that much less 27ish probably

let's look it up on Amazon but we do if you can buy it from the publisher not from amazon yes buy it from the oh we also josh does not need any more money pretty much every local bookstore stocks it i've seen it everywhere barnes and noble has a lot of pictures in here beautiful ones beautiful photos my favorite pictures of me ever taken are in there not that one there's this one

of me in the decluttering chapter where I'm covering jewelry. It's so beautiful. Albert Sanchez. Just, I mean, I can't believe we get photographed by that person. I can't believe it either. He's done like the greats in the Dita Von Teases, the RuPaul's, and then he will, he will stoop to our level. Well, you know, I'm obsessed with Michelle Branch. I was on her Instagram the other day and she posted an old picture of her from when she was like 20.

She was like, Albert Sanchez took this. And I sent it to her and be like, did you take this? He goes, yeah. I was on her Instagram the other day and she posted an old picture of her from when she was like 20. She was like, Albert Sanchez took this and I sent it to him and he was like, did you take this? He goes, yeah. I fucking love that picture. Oh, God. So gorgeous.

And it's only about $14 in jewelry. To be honest. All right. Bye. Thanks, guys. Bye.