The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Christmas Dinner at Judi Dench's House with Bianca Del Rio and Katya

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

'Twas the night before Christmas, and the house was filled with holly berry stench. Bianca Del Rio was headed to Surrey, to have dinner with Dame Judi Dench. The car service was booked, excitement hung in the air, but little did she know, a tiny airborne virus was also there. As the Covid test came back positive, and she had to cancel her trip, all she could murmur was, "Well this is some utter bullsh*t." To check out Bianca's Dead Inside tour dates, go to: https://www.thebiancadelrio.com FX’s Feud: Capote vs. The Swans premieres January 31st on FX. Stream on Hulu. Head to https://ViiaHemp.com and use the code BALD to receive 15% off + one free sample of their Sleepy Dreams gummies! (21+) Check out SquareSpace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://SquareSpace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful Follow Bianca: @TheBiancaDelRio Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Oh, we're rolling. I'll introduce you later. Oh, that's all good. I was like, wait a minute. No, my age, I mean, I was... Stop screaming. I keep thinking I'm on stage. I'm in this set. Fuck you, God. No, I'm 48. I'll be 49 this year. Okay, I'm going to say... And'm like, fuck you, God. No, I'm 48. I'll be 49 this year.

Okay, I'm gonna say it. And wait, how old are you? 41, but why do you look 15 years younger than I do? Because I'm not white. Oh, that's, so should I, how do I, maybe I should, do I Rachel Dozle myself? Well, no, no, because that's problematic. I would say you just need to get some black dick

and get that little melatonin inside of you. Honey, I've had plenty of melanated black dick inside me, but I remain this pale and pallid and translucent. Well, you can work on this. I mean, you don't look your age. I look older. Yeah. That's exactly what I was thinking as I was looking at you.

But real though, let me, I just, you know what? Because this is the ax I've been grinding since I moved to LA. Tell me. I'm sick and tired, sincerely, of older is bad, younger is good. Not only that, older is useless, younger is the ultimate value. No. Get the fuck out of here. No, I think it works both ways.

I think it's just they're all fucked up. I know people that are 20 years old that are assholes, and I know people that are 60 and are total fucking miserable cunts. So I don't think it's – But do you know any wise 20-year-olds it's their fresh dewy like um okay you said 20 you didn't say 18 so 20 well 21 year olds 21 year 18 is the age of consent bianca don't judge me in america well i haven't been to court so i have no idea but i was just assuming it's all 21 but no i have you really children don't excite me i, no, no, no. I'm not talking about children.

I'm talking about in Hollywood. Well, 18 you're not considered a child. The starlet is 22. Oh, a starlet. Oh, we're talking about the show business in general. Yeah, the show business.

Yeah, I would say that it is interesting that they always look at the young and think the young is profitable and the young is exciting. The young is the only option. Right. No, don't care for it.

Like, you know, there's that funny bit, I think Julia Louis-Dreyfus and a bunch of other actresses in their 40s and 50s are like, welcome to the unfuckable table now that you're turned 40. There you go. But it's not a joke. It's true.

No, when you think about something like Sunset Boulevard and, you know, here was a woman who was 50 at the time. Norma Desmond? Yeah, Norma Desmond, who was the character, was in her 50s and her career was over. It's like, that's fucking insane. Look at Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep's like 70-something years old. Look at fucking Judi Dench, 320. Did I ever tell you a story about Judi Dench?

Blind. So Judi Dench had come to see me when I was doing the musical Everybody's Talking About Jamie. So I was there, and then I was doing the tour of the show, and then I got a text message from her daughter, who I know, Finty, who's a lovely actress as well. And she's like, I see that you're going to be on the road, and you're going to be, I don't know where the hell,

Brighton, I think that was, in the UK. And she goes like, I see that you're going to be on the road and you're going to be, I don't know where the hell, Brighton, I think that was in the UK. And she goes, that's near our home and we wanted to know if you wanted to come and have Christmas. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I'm going to go have Christmas with fucking Judi Dench. Like, sign me the fuck up. Judi fucking Dench. She's a hoot. So anyway, all of this has worked

out and I'm all excited and everybody on tour is like, Bianca, well, I know that you're away from your family because they don't realize. Yeah. They're like, we know you're away from your family. Would you like to come with us? I'm sure you don't have plans. And I'm like, girl,

girl, someone as rotted as you for the holiday season is going to be lonely and desperate. Not even the Salvation Army would want you, girl. I would want the Salvation Army, but I'm girl. No, I would want the Salvation Army. But I'm like, girl, I'm going to Judi. They're like, what? I said, Judi Dench invited me to her house for Christmas.

And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? I go, yes. So this leading up to this and everything's amazing, right? Then we get to Brighton. I believe it was Brighton. I can't remember. It's the one with the beach. I love Brighton.

I think it's Brighton. Brighton's with the beach, right? With all the rocks. So I'm there. Everything's going well. And it's all during the covid moment so nobody was supposed to leave our circle okay and the lead leighton williams who was uh in our cast who's actually just did uh dancing with the stars in the uk i haven't heard of him

anyway he went to a party and he got covid and we all got covid so i could not go to judy dench's fucking house. And I thought, wait a minute, what if I'd have gone and not known? And then I would have killed Judi Dench. Can you imagine? That's a really healthy psychological spin on a horrible situation.

Well, it was the easiest way to look through it. I, however, would like to not spin it that way. And I'm going to look at this camera and say, Leighton Williams, you are not a star and you cannot dance that part. So take that down to Fear Ruchi Boulevard and give Judi Dench COVID with that. Listen, I love him. But I was like, I wanted to kill him because I was like, fuck!

But she did send me Christmas gifts, which was very, very sweet. She was lovely. Were they cheek swabs? No, she sent me actually little reindeer tassels. I have a picture. I'll have to send it to you. Little rainbow titty tassels. And she made me a stocking.

How sweet is that? Judi fucking Dench. How lovely. And. I'll have to send it to you. Little rainbow titty tassels and she made me a stocking. How sweet is that? Judy fucking Dench. How lovely. Judy fucking Dench. And then we shared a dressing room at one point. Well, I was in the dressing room early. It was during Edinburgh Festival and I was there and I was using a dressing room and the deal for me, this was in my rider, which was as long as I don't have to change

dressing rooms for a week and a half, I will use this particular theater. And they were like, okay, great. No big deal. And then when I got there, they're like, we have some convention happening in the morning. We need you to move your stuff. And I'm like, didn't we fucking say no move or shit? Because you know how much shit I bring. So I'm like, oh, fucking pain in the ass.

So I moved all of my stuff. And then when I came in for my evening show to set up, there was a sign that said Judi Dench. And I went. Is it a joke? Wait a minute. I cleaned my room for Judi. So then I texted her daughter and I told her what was going on. And I went, is it a joke? Wait a minute. I cleaned my room for Judy. So then I texted her daughter and I told her what was going on.

She's like, oh my God. And then I left the note for Judy and then they lost the note for Judy. So we missed each other. But I know. I know. Judy, I know you're listening and I know you're watching this. Can we just have your mailing address? Comment below.

Comment below. Your mailing address and phone number. Put it up. So just we'll call you. So we can contact you and make it happen. We'd love to have you here on the podcast. No, I wouldn't. But we'd love to call you.

It's Judy fucking Ditch. No, but just call her. She'll give us COVID. We don't want to make her travel. Could you imagine? Yeah. Listen, I mean, Maggie Smith. Another one.

Let's talk about Maggie Smith. Talk about a bitch who made a career being a cunt. Sweetie, have you ever seen Murder by Death? No. Have you seen, which one's the other one? Death on the Nile. Have you seen that the other one? Death on the Nile. Have you seen that one? No.

Death on the Nile? Maggie Smith, Angela Lansbury, Betty Davis. Yes. Yes. Oh, shit. Do you really need the whole hand? No, just the, okay, I was going to say. One finger, one finger.

But they, they're all in that movie, and it's costumes that are done by Anthony Powell, their amazing drag on Academy Award for Best Cost best costumes it's an amazing movie girl murder by the death was you know about clue right yes so in the earlier truman capote is in this movie we love we got uh peter sellers as the yellow face ching chong no yeah he does a yellow face ching chong character so offensive of course and then maggie smith and her she plays like um oh dicky how tacky i mean it's she's done a lot cunt she's so there's a rich bitch and and it's just the movie's absurd i love it so much and um i have to look i haven't seen it it's fabulous if you

love clue you'll love this one it's it's. Truman Capote with his fucking gay lisp. Oh, of course he had a big gay lisp. It's so funny. It's great. Anyways, who else is your, like, if you had to, like, body snatch the body of an actress who is over 50. Okay. And get to live in her heyday, live her whole life, whatever you wanted to. Live in, like, somebody that I wanted to be? Or somebody that I like?

an actress who's still living, but over the age of 50, and you can snatch into her body whenever you want during any era of her life. Ooh. Oh, I'd have to say Glenn Close.

Oh. Now you see, that's a crazy fucking bitch. You see? And then what's crazy, not crazy, she's not real crazy in real life. No,

no. But what's crazy is that she plays crazy, and you've got to be crazy to play crazy that fucking good. Well, you gotta know crazy, and you've got to be crazy to play crazy that fucking good. Well, you've got to know crazy. And you've had to experience crazy. I'm on my way, baby. On your way?

You're on the fucking crazy train, bitch. I fucking know you. I've worked with you. I'm on the caboose. Crazy. Crazy. Caboose. I'm on the bus.

I'm not on the train. I'm driving the bus. Make it all stops. I'm Sandra Bullock. Make it all stops. But there's no bomb under there. I'm driving over 50. No, no. So I saw, I've been Googling. Make it all fucking stops. But there's no bomb under there. I'm driving over 50. No, no.

So there's, I saw, I've been Googling. A lot of Googling. What have you been Googling? Liza fucking Minnelli. Oh, don't get me started. Another bitch. That's who you want to be? No, I am her.

Well, okay. Just without the talent. I see the resemblance. All the pills, no talent. I've got the drug abuse, but no talent. A great mother. So it's not actually, I'm not really her at all. 1972, I gotcha.

Cabaret. Not cabaret, but I gotcha. Liza with a Z. Yeah. Yeah. I gotcha. Have you ever done that number?

Are you, you think I could do that number? That's such a compliment. I don't know what you do. I've never been to your show. What do I know? I can do this part. Show me.

Yes. Yes. That's very Fosse or it's an epileptic fit. Yeah. That too. If there weren't the backup dancers You would be convinced she was having a seizure

You see? A nervous breakdown But a seizure in sequence Different, she's wearing Halston, honey That makes it a show And that, and you're on a stage Sweetie, that outfit That outfit's a little red sequin

Cut to the coochie Sheer red tights Red pumps Red shoes It might be red boots, I think it is No, they're shoes They're shoes Yeah

Are you sure I'm sure I thought they were red boots 54 times Okay I'll take a word Because I said Trixie should wear the pink version I wear the red one

We do it together But if we were to perform We'd have to wear the boots I see Yeah because the boots actually work Because you probably fight matching boots For the two of you right Of course

In a size 15 for her What size shoe do you wear I am a dainty European 42. Oh, okay. You have surprisingly large leg hoops. Yeah, I wear 12 in women's, which is crazy. That's crazy.

You are four foot two. I am not four foot. How tall are you? Four eight. You're four eight. Four nine. Four nine with lashes. Five foot nine.

Four nine with lashes. No, I think I'm like five eight in real life. You're full of shit. 5'8? That's not tall. How tall are you? Okay, yeah, you're right. Get the fuck off!

I'm 5'9. Well, if I'm 5'9, so it's fine. Oh, that's no big deal. You're just how much taller than I am. But you know what's crazy? There's people that are like my height that I consider smaller. Well, because they have... Do you know what I mean?

Like, oh, what a small little... Like, Courtney Act, I think of her as like a tiny little thing. But she is petite, girl. I know, but she's not... she's like our height or taller. No, she's like 5'7". No. Honey, her shoes, she slept at the kids section. Oh, she could wear tiny shoes.

Yeah, she could wear tiny fucking. She is like 37. I'm amazed at the people with tiny feet. You know who else has big feet that I found out? Because I knew this fag that worked at. Angela Lansbury. No. Louboutin in Paris who sent me a message saying, come and get some shoes. And I'm like, great. So I'm going to the store. You couldn't get Louboutin. I said, I have big feet. You couldn't get Louboutin in Paris, who sent me a message saying, come and get some shoes.

And I'm like, great. So I'm going to the store. I said, I have big feet. So we went in, and we're looking at all the shoes. And he's like, don't worry. You can get a 42. We can get a 43. I said, do you even make 43s?

He goes, in specific shoes, we do. And he says, you know who fits in the 43? Paris Hilton and Kamora Lee Simmons. I knew you were going to say Paris Hilton. She has 11, size 11 feet. There you go. Size 11 feet. She's also 6 feet tall almost. Well, I guess on Louboutin she wears a larger size, which is crazy to think about. You know what? It's the funny thing.

What? Because when, in my opinion, when you're a drag queen especially, and you have a shoe size out of the normal range, you're dodging a bullet. The most uncomfortable shoe you could ever wear in your life. Well, they don't look comfortable. They look fabulous. No, they don't look comfortable They look fabulous No they don't look comfortable

The queens that I see wearing them No they look fabulous The queens I see wearing them don't look comfortable And the worst part is It's the same thing with purses I don't understand the fascination with purses Me neither Because they're like

Ooh I spent all my money on a Gucci purse Now you have no money to put in the fucking purse Also so it's gonna get stolen on the subway you fucking idiot Thank you Thank you Perfect example A big fancy purse and you're riding the subway A Birkin? Are you

nuts? You're gonna leave it in a bathroom somewhere doing cocaine, you fucking lush housewife? Not talking to you. I was gonna say, did somebody tell you? Real housewives or whatever. It's happened to me before. But you know what's interesting is that I always find funny. I don't get any sad expression out of going, this cost this much money. I love going, girl, two dollars. Amazon.

Yeah, you're never gonna believe this. So it's funny because we talk about this all the time, Trixie and I. She's very newly rich. She grew up in a trailer. Yeah, I saw the teeth. I did. Upper. Just the upper.

She's not here. I don't think she's got to go to a lower specialist. I think her doctor only does stuff. No, stop it. Girl, when Jiggly had her bottom done, that says a lot. That was some Frankenstein incredible. That should have been Nobel Prize winning.

That's some fucking work, honey. Yeah, the Kennedy Center honors. Honey, that is make-a-wish. That is reconstruction. The swan. Remember the swan. Could they get away with the swan now? No, not because it's offensive,

because they're cheap. Oh, that too. Because they would send them away. For those of you who don't know, they would send them away and then just totally tear these people apart. Like liposuction, new titties, new teeth. Let's see. It would be Stacey Lane Matthews walks into the swan

and out walks Emma Stone. There you go. Literally. And yeah, you'd go, is that her? It's her. Yeah. I bet it was a bait and switch. I bet it was all like they had a lab set.

With other people that look like them. And maybe pick contestants from what they look like. Yeah. You're onto something. Oh, you got a younger sister who's thin? Is she pretty? We'll give her a nose job and call it a wrap. Bring her in.

Bring her in. That's it. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family.

Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. Three, two, one, zero. The final seconds of the game separate true fans from the rest. The fans that are there for every victory, defeat, agony, and ecstasy. We have to talk about the tour because I'm going to forget. And it's very important. So you have, for some reason, against all odds

and against everybody's wishes, decided to go on another tour. I did! I did! You know what? And the weird thing is that I would have done it last year, but I decided to take a break because, you know, there was, I don't know if you heard, but there's a couple of these people that were out there by the name of, like, Beyonce and Taylor. And I thought, like them. Wait, are they folk artists?

they're working. They're working. They're up and coming. They're working up and coming. And I just thought, you know, let them go make some money for a minute. I mean,

you have to give them a chance. You know, I got the call. I said, take the dates, honey. So, um,

yes, I am hitting the road. I start, uh, February 12th, I believe in San Diego. It's in like three days. It is.

It is. But you know, I'm out on the road. And what's great is that I'm going to be out. So we're doing the first 60 to 70 dates, which are in America and Canada. And then I'll be traveling all across the globe after that. Girl, I saw you at the House of Blues 14 years ago. You did, remember that?

Wait, you know what's so funny about that? What? Do you know how I didn't know it was you? Because I hadn't been on the show yet, but I just got cast. No, I know you hadn't been on the show yet, but you sent me a message on Twitter and your Twitter handle

was like Katya's number one fan. And I was like, that was your Twitter name. And then, yes, I got a call from Mish who said to me, she's like,

Katya's been trying to get in touch with you. And I'm like, well, who the fuck is this? Oh, cause I only had one fan at that time, me. There you go.

So it said Katya's number one fan. So I'm like, I thought it was like some fan page. it was Katya's number one flan. It was a cuisine account. Oh, that's what it was. I forgot your answer. I was my baking number one fan. So I'm like, I thought it was like some fan page. Oh no, it was Katya's number one flan. It was a cuisine account. Oh, that's what it was. I forgot your answer to desserts. Yes.

So in the end, Katya's number one flan sent me a message and I didn't see it because I thought it was like a fan site. But we did. I think we did end up meeting. Then you showed up. They said, no, it's really her. And that's when we were sitting backstage. I'll never forget.

You said, why don't you stick a loaf up your pussy, you fucking bitch? Because you're yeasty. No, not to me. Oh. To a woman in the crowd. Oh, oh, yeah. It was some kind of, there was a yeasty something, something inside. I bet you, no not to me oh to a woman in the crowd oh oh yeah

it was some kind of yeah there was a yeasty something something inside i bet you know i bet you have a fucking loaf up your pussy right now you fucking bitch and it was so quick and it was sourdough yeah that was now you're a baker now i'm a baker i was like i was spit out my drink because i was like what it was really like just a very casual quick uh audience exchange you weren't doing crowd work. And it was like, it was. Well, that's what they pay for. I know, but I was just like, that had me gagging.

It was just so funny. You should have seen a pussy. It was so vulgar. That made me gag. But we had a good time. And that's when you came back. You were so nice. We chatted that night and you was like, I'm about to go on the show. And we caught up on all that madness.

I said, don't do it. It's a trap. Like it's already done. And here we are. Well, it's funny. I am so, this is going to sound so corny. I said, don't do it. It's a trap. Like it's already done. And here we are. Well, it's funny. I am so, this is going to sound so corny, but God, here we go. I, um, I mean, it's so strange. Is Judy Dench in that closet?

You're about to bring her out. Is that what's going to happen? Judy, just stay in there for a second. There's an oxygen tank in the, in the upper drawer. She can't see us. She can't hear it. She can't. Well, she's blind.

I know. Okay. Okay. Um, the, uh, she was inviting me to her house she had no idea who it was she thought you were Bianca Jagger she thought I was Latrice

I don't think she's well anyway what? wait wait wait I was gonna say it's such a like I feel such it's so strange

to have like have met people that I've you know like you Lady Bunny Coco Peru people I've been jerking off to for years old people? is that what you're trying to say? to have met old people?'ve, you know, like you, Lady Bunny, Coco Peru, people I've been jerking off to for years.

Old people? Is that what you're trying to say? To have met old people? You're not far behind, cunt bag. Well, no. I'm three or four years behind.

You know, it's so like, sometimes you slip into the bunny voice or a bad bunny voice. And it's like, it's almost like a brain infection. Completely. Because you're like, um,

and then you'll be, it takes over. You'll be at the, I was at the bank the other day. It was like, how would you like it? Large bills. Like, Because you're like, and then you'll be- It takes over. You'll be at the, I was at a bank the other day, it was like, how would you like it? Large bills. And I'm like,

what the hell is happening? Give me large bills. And it takes over. What's crazy is that she told me that I sound more like her than she does. Fig. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, she calls you, we call her drive-by bunny, where she just goes through a list of queens. Oh. And if you don't answer, she moves on to the next queen. Bam.

I've been at my house. Honey. Mariah Balenciaga. And then my phone will ring. Oh, sweetie. And if you don't answer, she moves on to the next queen. Bam. I've been at my house with Mariah Balenciaga and then my phone would ring and then I don't answer. I'm like, I don't have time. Because you know how it is with Bunny. You got to like take a break

and have a moment. So, so, so, okay. You know, with Bunny, it's,

she, I idolized her. I mean, I loved her so much. I watched her extra, her special X-rated for X-ray, you know what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And on, I think it was a CD-ROM at that point so Tilda DeBarge does the narration she's fucking hysterical but so then when I actually got to meet and then work with her I realized it's a double edged sword sometimes you be careful what you wish for

you shared a dressing room did you? it's not only that I shared a telephone number and then for maybe a good year and a half I would pick up the phone like, oh, my God, I can't wait to have some riveting political analysis from a very in-tune person. You never know what you're getting. You never know if you're getting this political agenda or you're getting a fart joke. I hear you guys.

Fuck me. Wait. Sherry Vine told me she used to call her. You gotta fuck me, girl. And it never stops. You put the phone down, you go do the dishes. And it's still there. Where you gonna?

It's like dire. She used to call Sherry Vine and go, Apple, Apple, Apple, Apple. And Sherry would go, what do you want? You don't like apples, girl? Apple. And then hang up. But then she called me. She'd go, banana. There you go. Banana. She called Trixie. Apple And Sherry go What do you want You don't like apples girl Apple And then hang up But then she called me

She go banana There you go Banana She go Trixie Corn There you are She made her way down the alphabet Back in the day

Back in the day She would call your answering machine And like fill up your entire Answering machine That's cunt though But that's old school Mama you have a hard day at the office And you come home

And you get Beep beep beep beep beep Serotonin You don't need that prozac anymore you're like white noise that's what she would she would fill up your answer i mean remember batman returns selena kyle comes home with it and she's like yeah it's like imagine if it was hey cat woman has you changed a little box today that's my little pussy, girl. How many lives do you have left? I have some milk for you, girl.

Shitty kitty. Shitty kitty. Wait, speaking of which, we have a special celebrity call-in question. I hope they're available. Call-in question. It's kind of a big deal. It's kind of a big deal. Is it Juju Dench? It's actually probably more famous than that. Can she call from the closet?

Let's see. I mean, I'm kind of famous now. I mean, I know a lot. I'm kind of famous now, Bianca. I know a lot of famous people. Oh, I know you're famous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kate Beckinsale invited me to her birthday party once. Hold on.

Let me try again. Yeah, do it. Because we've got time. This is humiliating. I did a pre-call yesterday, too. To warn them. You know what? Maybe because she's in glam right now, she doesn't want to do FaceTime.

Oh, I got it, I got it Charlize never likes to do glam Also, like Julia Roberts Oh, is this delightfully Sexpot Lady Bunny By chance? Oh no This is the dried up old winter version

Hi, Lady Bunyan. I'm here to assert myself. What other random clowns have you near? Hello, Lady Bunyan. Who is that? It's the Vinegar Witch. I hope that does not mean Jacqueline beat. No, no, gosh, no, no, no, no, no, I haven't thrown up yet.

I'm hard, Bunny. I'll give you a hint. I'm hard looking at her. You want me to talk you through it? You want to talk me through it? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, polka. Big girl polka, big girl polka. Connecticut big girl, Connecticut good girl, Connecticut good girl. Oh my. Well, listen, this person, Bianca, is about to go on tour. We wondered if you had any words of wisdom or encouragement for her as she embarks on her next solo tour. Well, I wish her the best, of course, but I do want to thank her for

cooperating with me so that she could show her concern and begin her tour, upcoming tour, you know, when it comes down to it. I am Connecticut Ann

Flintstone realness. Don't come around here if you can't hang. Well, Bunny, thanks as always for your riveting and insightful political insight. We appreciate that. Thank you so much. Who is that?

That's Bianca Del Rio. I believe you were... Oh, gross. You just gave me a statement, you cunt. Yeah, she's going to slay herself. Yeah. Okay, well,

thank you, Bunny, and Please have a happy new year. Well, I wish you luck, Bianca, on your tour. And Katya, I really wish you luck on this podcast. Thank you, Bunny. Bye, Bunyan. She hung up. Oh, God. You can always count on Bunyan to just hang up.

Well, when she's done talking, she hangs up on you. Oh, no, singing. Yeah, well, as soon as you start mentioning yourself, because she's like, girl, girl, girl. You can't get a word in. You get a word in, gotta go, click. But, girl, so that went on for two years, then I stopped answering the phone. Of course. If I start in person, it's always a kiki. Of course. Always a kiki. Then I stopped

answering the phone, because I know I'm 24th on the phone tree. Well, not only that, but you need to sit down for like an hour and a half. Like, there's no way, like like you gotta go, where am I? Or you could just like roll over, press and then go back to sleep and put her on mute. That works too, but you can't walk. Like if you're in New York and you're walking around the street and this would happen to me all the time, my phone would ring and it was her.

And I'm like, do I pull over from walking? How much, do I have three hours? Yeah, can I just stand here under this while it's raining and deal with this? Because you will walk into traffic and get killed by talking to her. And you should, if you're talking to her, it's actually a better solution.

If they see the name on that phone screen, well, but then, but then fast forward to like, I don't know, three months ago, I was like, let me see what fucking money's up to.

Oh God. Not only did we have the most, not only cause I figured she's probably mushy banana brains right now. Well, it just, Oh yeah. With all the politics. Yeah.

You know, cause I'm not really, I just see all this stuff. I don't really, Oh yeah. With all the politics. Yeah. You know, cause I'm not really, I just see all this stuff. I don't really, I'm not, I'm not a good, like, like a very skilled,

cogent media, literate viewer of social media. Cause I don't care anymore. Of course. But like, not only do we have the Kiki of all Kikis, she is sharper, wittier,

funnier, more insightful. And, and, and just as articulate as ever. She really is so fucking interesting. She is very interesting. And if you see her out of drag, it's even more interesting.

Because everybody asks, what does Bunny look like? And I just swollen Jeff Daniels. Or Ben Franklin. Yeah, that too. And I told her that. And she's like, Ben Franklin, fake. So as an American, Ben Franklin. But Jeff Daniels.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Swollen Jeff Daniels. You would never, ever. And she's the one, she's the only person because she hasn't really, she doesn't have an out-of-drag public persona that much. But the voice, honey. And that voice is telltale. A sea of Jeff Daniels impersonators and then Bunny, you wouldn't be able to.

You'd be like, what? Where is it? Where is it coming from? That's very much so true. It's cutty. It is. So what is the name of the tour? The tour is called Dead Inside.

And this is the most, well, this is when you're supposed to go, why? Well, it just seemed fitting. You know, you have to find the right title. I wanted to do Salty Bitch, but then they were like, it's problematic when you're going on the road because you can't have bitch in the title. Also, yeah, because you're not a bitch. You're quite a nice person.

It depends on who you ask. Well, what's your Chinese zodiac? I am, I think I'm June 27th. So I think I'm 1975. So it's a rabbit, I think. Oh, let's check it out. Let's check it out. Yeah, I think I'm the, I'm June 27th, so I think I'm 1975. So it's a rabbit, I think. Oh, let's check it out. Let's check it out. I'm a dog, obviously. Makes a lot of sense. 1975.

I just, I think it's a rabbit. I don't like, every time I've been to a restaurant, I would see it on the menu. What kind of rabbit? What kind of, it wasn't that specific, that feng choy. It was just on the, it's, it's the, no, no, no, it's the wood, wood rabbit. Now, what is a wood rabbit? Hold on, let me check that. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I didn't know I was getting a reading today. The wood rabbit. There's like the wood,'s the... No, no, no. It's the wood rabbit. Now, what is a wood rabbit? Hold on.

Let me check that. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I didn't know I was getting a reading today. The wood rabbit. There's like the wood... Because it's an element. Okay. I'm the water dog. You're the wood rabbit.

Oh, okay. You know more about this than I do. I just was... At the restaurant, I would look for my year and it said rabbit. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Oh, bunny.

That's why I get along with bunnies so well. That must be it. She's my person. Have you ever fucked her? Sorry. How many times have you fucked her? Twice. Three times.

Were you awake? Yeah. Was she awake? Listen, I thought it was a gun to my head, but it was a situation where, oh, you mean like have sex? Yeah. I mean, I left the gig without paying her.

Let me tell you a good story about her. I fucked her over. That was good fucking. But we had a moment one time that she was, we were back, we were doing the show in New York at XL and we were doing the show and she came up to me and she's like,

girl, let's have some fun tonight. And I'm thinking, what does this mean? And then she's like, I've got the itch. So I was like, oh, she must be talking about cocaine. So I was like,

okay, yeah. So I'm like, oh, this will be fun, you know, because I'm an adult and I've had my share with drugs. So I thought this would be fun. Me and Bunny are going to have a good time. She's like, girl, I didn't have any money on me. I said, oh, I've had some cash. Cause I lived in Harlem at the time. So I always had to have cash to take the cab back home. And, um, I said, oh, I've got money. No big deal. So we went to the crackhead girl that was in the group and I went to her and said, Hey, listen, I don't have a drug vendor. Do you? And so I gave her the money. She's like, no problem.

I'll get it for you. And then after the show, I saw the girl and she's like, oh, gave it to Bunny. I said, no problem. So I'm packing up all of my stuff. And Bunny says, I'm going to run and grab a drink. I said, okay, great. I'll meet you at the front. I pack up all of my stuff. I'm like, this is going to be great. We're going to have a good time with Bun Bun. I go up to the front bar and I said, where's Bunny? They go, she left. She took my drugs and left and then didn't answer her phone. Divas!

Las Vegas! What a shady cunt! No, what an entrepreneur. And then acted like it didn't happen. $60! God damn it. Took it. That's Brigitte Nielsen in Beverly Hills Cop 2. Oh, we just watched that. Eat the floor. Have you ever eaten the floor? Are you kidding? Like, I mean, you've licked the floor, right?

I eat the carpet. I eat the linoleum, the parquet. You munch on the rug? Everything. Everything down there. The trash. Cigarette butts on the driveway. So basically you're a drag raccoon.

Moss. Pete Moss. Pete Moss. Tire tracks in the road. Crime scenes. Oh, the chalk. Trash cans Chalk, the outline

Not that it's gone when I'm there That's fierce, honey That's fierce All of a sudden my nose is itching Because I'm talking about cocaine Hello Oh, it must be a flashback Mental

So, do you bristle How do you feel about I'm not gonna I don't want to lead the leading question How do you feel about people who are like I'm a New Yorker Oh, I think it's stupid Because I don't know many people

That are born and raised there And so a lot of us well well okay but that was like queens so that was like outside of the city so that's kind of fine because you can sense it with her with the sound and with the look and all that matter so like people that are from jersey i'm like oh there's a look to it and you understand it but i think what's funny is that anybody that moves to new york and i think the rule is you have to be there 10 years before you're considered a new yorker but i say kudos to the person who decided to get out of their hometown to go to What's funny is that anybody that moves to New York, and I think the rule is you have to be there 10 years before you're considered a New Yorker. But I say kudos to the person who decided to get out of their hometown to go to New York.

I think that's a good thing because then you're a smart bitch. And it's a hard thing to do. It is. Nowadays, I think you have to be a billionaire to have any kind of two-bedroom apartment in Manhattan. But also when you're there and you're paying what you're paying and doing what you're doing to pay for the rent, you don't realize how absurd it is until you leave there

and come to California and you've got what space? What? You've got sunshine? A friend of mine from New York was like it cost $30 to leave my apartment It does no truly truly and that's the get out the door $30 I had a moment I was living in Harlem and the rent was cheap But I had to take a cab every time to come downtown then I moved downtown Because what I spent in camps I could pay for the apartment so I just

New York is enormous. How long does it take with no traffic, say, to get in a car from Harlem to downtown? Oh, well, if you catch all the lights, it's about 15, 20 minutes. Oh, but in traffic. But in traffic, it could take forever. Bro, we would do these, this is so boring,

but we would do these gigs like, you know, you do these things that... What were the gigs? VH1, for example. Oh, excuse me. You go to New York to do press, okay? Oh, yeah, yeah, for your season. They get you a car from 51st Street to 53rd Street.

Which is insane. 25 minutes. Yeah, of course. Just go... I could have... You could have walked. I could have ate the floor on the way there. You could have done it.

Like, snail trailed. It's crazy. I don't like... I hate it when you're going somewhere and they send, like, a limousine. Like, it's the worst fucking car for a drag queen. It's so stupid. You gotta get in like this. You've got a corset.

You've got wigs. They can't drive well. Give me a Mini Cooper. Strap me at the top of it. queen. It's so stupid. You gotta get in like this. You've got a corset. You've got wigs. They can't drive well. Give me a Mini Cooper. Strap me at the top of it. It'll do my hair as I go. Give me a fucking U-Haul, bitch. I just stand up right the whole entire way. Just a little ramp to go up there.

A rickshaw. Now that would be fierce. And you get a little blanket to sit on the back. That'd be cute. I'd love it. No, it is tricky though, because I always say I would rather just walk. And like when I lived in West Hollywood,

I lived near that mall, you know, like when I lived in West Hollywood I lived near that mall you know the Beverly Center and so Courtney actually lived near me and I was like oh I'm going to walk to the mall she's like you're walking we don't walk here excuse me walking to the Beverly Center when you put on my headphones and just walk what that's not far the Beverly Center that's not far from there the Beverly Center

you're not Mary you cannot walk to the Beverly Center you're thinking of a different place no the Beverly Center That was the big But that is not that far It's like two miles Walking Walking That would have taken an hour

Yeah and Oh wow I love that That's a New Yorker That's so New York No you walk It's so much easier Than getting in a car And slipping down there

Well I lived right down The street from you You know because I arrived At your house one day Let's just say In high spirits Let's just say Feeling my fantasy.

Let's use a euphemism, shall we? We're going to leave it at that. Yes, yes, yes. It was a good night. I don't think I knocked on the door. I think I came through the window. You did? I think I maybe flew through the window.

It was Christmas. I remember that. It was Christmas. I took a shower with my clothes on. We got a package. Yeah, I was cutting invisible cucumbers on our kitchen counter. Then I went into the bathroom,

turned on the shower, left the bathroom it was a lot it was a lot going on it was good times but you know what though you are a consummate professional and a decent human being

because not only did you not call the police no I didn't you did not call my mother no or my babysitter no or my grandmother

no I didn't know any of that I was like girl well I killed them all makes sense another piece of the puzzle I know that you have been I know that you're a woman of experience,

experience with crazy difficult people. Not only how you control a rowdy crowd with a microphone, but the way that you navigate and having a crackhead in your house was very admirable. Well, you know, what's crazy is that, you know,

we, when I started drag, I mean, it was a different world and you met all different types of people. So you, you have the hoes, you have the druggies. I mean, I've had my share of drugs as well. So it's not, yeah. I mean, it was a different world and you met all different types of people. So you, you have the hose, you have the druggies. I mean,

I've had my share of drugs as well. Yeah. I mean, it was just part of the scene. So it's not so much, well, you know, I mean,

I know. And I, I don't want to be so okay. Boomer or remember when, or back in our day, but like, I've always said this, honey,

drag Queens were typically three things. Yeah. Prostitutes, drug users, drug dealers, or scammers. No, I don't forget alcoholics too. Oh, alcohol and drugs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Prostitutes, drug users, drug dealers, or scammers. No, and don't forget alcoholics, too. Alcohol and drugs, yeah.

And all of us steal. We all stole because we're all poor. Right. And it's like, so, when did it become that we're not only running for Congress, we're running non-profit businesses to serve the community? Well, it's also crazy that when drag, it became a business because in the beginning, it was like, remember when you... Well, it's also crazy that when drag it became a business because in the beginning it was like, remember when you-

Well, it's business. It's risky business. Very risky, but you would get in drag to like go meet with your friends and hang out. Or fuck a man or like- Oh, I've never done that. You fucked a man in drag? No, nobody wants to fuck this. No, honestly, you were- No, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, listen. What? What? Mama. Mama. What? Darling.

Yes, sweetie. Talk to me. Honey. Oh, I'll talk to you. Speak to me. We. Oh, I'll talk to you. Major. Speak to me. We need subtitles for this section. I'm going to go. We can't do ballroom because Aja's going to get pissed. No, that was Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Hum-a-na-hum-a-na. Oh, that. That. That. Yeah, got it. No, no. You would think, because let's just not, you don't exactly look like Margot Robbie. No.

More of a Lucille Ball, perhaps. Wait, this is news to me I don't look like Margot Robbie Listen Girl She would never wear bottom lashes Oh she wouldn't Those devastating lashes

That incredible crease The soft blending Those ruby Blending Okay now you lost me Those luscious ruby lips That glossy bang Covering that horrible forehead

Fuck you cunt The hair The hair Tastefully wrapped up In a Chignon Police chignon Police chignon forehead the hair tastefully wrapped up in a police and they say oh yeah i want to fuck no i want her to fuck me in the butt that's what they say they say you are wilma flintstone and i want you to bedrock my ass with your fucking tank okay now that you make now you're getting me hard because that actually sounds appealing true though but you know the scary thing about it is you know how we talk about all the

time the queens that love to have the fans that they have sex with that are always like oh i like that type of i've never met those type of queens i don't know yeah get a mirror so anyway these people that enjoy that i couldn't imagine but then like like imagine like in a moment where you're having sex and somebody just like turns around and looks at you and goes yeah not today satan like that would like ruin. Think about it. Think about it. I'm only saying it because it happened.

But think about it. It's horrible. Like my dick just crawled up back inside of me. But what you say, you go, you go, need help packing. I didn't need any help packing until he brought up Satan. Then my dick crawled back inside of me. Unmarried. Yes.

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There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. This will be the day. What's the scariest thing somebody told you in the bedroom? Oh, well, we don't have time. But the thing that comes to mind immediately And this is not only scary, it's insulting It's a bone to break that's insulting Because they didn't ask about me

They didn't repeat one of my catchphrases They were like, is Violet really a bitch? Really? So after you said yes You're going to find out because she's in hell And I'm sending you straight there right now Is Violet really? That's what they asked you?

About something about Pearl Because this was before Trixie had really ascended to her status. And she was just a brown tooth, whatever. Now she's just lower brown tooth. Do you know that she is the, I mean, can you believe her success? I don't want to harp on it. No, I can't. It's insanity.

No, truly, I can't. She's a person who would not describe herself as a person with immense innate talent. Neither would I, but yeah, I get it. And I certainly wouldn't either. Wait, so what's my excuse? Why aren't I successful? Okay, back to the show. The point of that story was, people will fuck you.

How did you think that was a compliment to her? The way you said, oh, I don't want to compliment her. I don't want to sing her praises. Oh, I don't know. I was just a backhanded non-compliment. What's your worst show you've ever done? Oh, God, to ask you, what's your worst show you've ever done? Worst show ever. Oh, God, many.

Like, one in particular? Can you think of any? Oh, God, yeah. What comes to mind? Listen, there's always a moment. There's always some shit that goes wrong. What's the worst thing that ever happened to you on stage? The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage.

Post-Drag Race. Oh, post-Drag Race. Because I know before Drag Race, all of our careers were fucking messes. Oh, yeah, everything was bad, yeah. Married. I've been pissed on, vomited on. Well, you know what? You don't have that same reaction anymore because people are a little kinder.

And especially if people are coming to see you, it's a different setup. It's an appearance. Yeah. I mean, every show is bad for me. Like in my mind, when you leave there, you just, if you come off the stage and go, Are you hard on yourself? That was famous. Of course you've got to be. Okay. You've got to be realistic. You've got to go, oh, that wasn't that funny tonight or this did this that night. And I've got to figure out what I'm doing with that.

Yeah. I mean, I think there's a balance. Like any performance any, any performance, like if you are a type person that was like, well, I did that. It's like, well, you probably didn't. No, no.

And also that's, that's who says that? Who the fuck says that? People who are not eating. Well, true. But also like the best thing about being on the road is that if it didn't work that night, then you have the next night to do it.

Yeah. But you also don't go to everybody and go, Oh, what a horrible show. I acknowledge it within myself. So it's just you, you're doing your solo act. Well, Oh yeah. It's solo. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't have. Also, it's just you. You're a solo act. Oh yeah, it's solo.

I don't have an untalented best friend to travel with. Oh. Wait, am I the... I don't know. I'm not one half of an untalented duo. All of you are in groups. It's like everybody's like this and this and this and this. I've never been that person. She keeps me tethered to this

earthly realm. Otherwise, I would be somewhere in Middle Earth, girl. You'd be in my shower at my house still. Honey. Oh, boy. Like on the ceiling. You know how they do that in the movies? Like where they're like, the legs like a spider. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I don't know what movie you're talking about, but yes, I'm going to say yes. You're going to wash that ass, Bianca. I'd be like the shower. The spider in the shower. Yeah, the spider who encourages the troll. No, okay. So wait. Worst, best show ever.

Best show ever. I don't, you know. Oh, come on. But I don't remember. Best city? Is it? The best, no, it's because like one of those things where I can't remember because when you go to the, you know how it is, when you go to these cities, you're in the city and

then you're out of the city. So it's not like you're spending a week in South Africa Where you go okay I've lived it and had a great time That's not fucking It's kind of a tragedy I know you know this And this is not something most people can relate to You wake up and for 20 full minutes Could not

Tell or say where the fuck you are Oh of course 20 minutes I've been at the airport before I've been at the airport before. Countries sometimes. Countries. I've been at the airport where my luggage doesn't show up and like I've had connecting flights

and I'm going from here to there and I get there and I spoke to someone saying, I don't know where my luggage is. They go, where'd you come from? And I go, could have been Argentina, could have been Alabama.

Could have been Akron, Ohio. I have no fucking idea. So yes, that is challenging. So you kind of go in and you do it. So I don't remember one that was like the greatest. I don't know. You ever take vacations? I'm not a vacation person. Oh my God't remember one that was like the greatest. I don't know.

You ever take vacations? I'm not a vacation person. Oh my God. I'm not a vacation person though. I can't relax. Oh, well, lovely. Yeah, I'm not good with that. But I like to be home and do my shit that I need to do at home. And I have to say, you let me, for some reason,

you let me into your home for more than one night. Well, your parole officer called me. Yeah, you came to the house. Oh, did I tell you? Did I tell you about the car ride home? No. So I spent a fabulous weekend at Bianca's estate.

Sprawling estate. 15 floors. 13 pools. The car park underground with a highway. With a tunnel. Gorgeous house. Incredible. Right by Palm Springs.

As soon as I was sick of you, or as soon as you kicked me out, I had to. No, I did not kick you out. We scheduled the amount of time for you to be there. We fucked, it wasn't bad. It was great.

You left your snail trail. So I take a car and I get into a black car on the way, two hour drive back to LA. Yeah. It's 116 to 120 degrees. Oh, I thought you were going to say dollars.

I'm like, that was a steal. No, no, 1 p.m. In Palm Springs, in the summer. Yeah. What would you guess going to say dollars. I'm like, that was the steel. No, no, 1 p.m. in the summer. What would you guess was the temperature of that car? No air conditioning? No. No air conditioning all the way back? No, not.

The air conditioning in this black Lincoln Continental was not only working, not working, it was completely broken. I wasn't even given the benefit of hot air coming out of a vent. So your balls were stuck to the seat. Mama. You're marinating in faggot stew. Do you know crockpots?

Yeah, I know. You know slow cookers? I know fucking crockpots. You ever made a stew over the course of about 18 hours? No, but I know a drag queen, I'm not going to name who it is, who every time she's around me, I'm like, what's she cooking? Mama, nothing good. No, nothing.

Nothing. So, and when you are in a situation, if you're like on a stage, for example, like flop sweats, you know, if you're. Are you a sweater? Where do you sweat from? Am I a Nicki fan? No, I'm asking where do you sweat from? Do you sweat from, are you a head sweater? Are you a ball sweater?

Are you a pit sweater? Everywhere. Are you a funky sweater or are you just like a wet? No, I'm wet. You're wet, but you're not a stinky sweater. Mama, I do laundry three times a day. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Don't come for my scent. I'm not just asking. If I smell it's because I'm smoking. Try to understand your stink. Okay. To classify your stink. So it starts immediately in the head.

Okay. Right here. Yeah. Right here. I feel the drips right here. And then if I feel this trickle down, then I know the forehead's wet. And then it I mean, and then it's just like the back dripping down the back.

Okay, so you're wet in this SUV heading back to- And I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. It's leather. Leather black interior. Wait, what's leather? The outfit you have on? No, the black interior of the car. Hot leather. Yeah, hot leather. And I'm like, and I'm doing this. I don't have a pop fan. Usually I carry an emergency pop fan. Do you?

Yeah. Yeah, is that just because you get warm or because you never know when it's going to be a circuit party? Well, no, because like if I'm in drag and there's the AC is unreliable, that goes a long way. It cools you off. Yeah. Okay.

So I'm, I can't describe, you know, I would rather tell me, you know, um, jiggly before the teeth and the gorgeous surge. I would rather squat over my face and and push so much three weeks worth of diarrhea into my mouth than to sit in a hot car gurgle it have you ever gurgled diarrhea i would if i didn't have to go in that car okay got it got it you set a scene here i totally yeah i was so you know when you're out in the rain in a romantic comedy kissing your beloved oh yeah i've done that so many times you and i did did that. Yeah, remember in Paris, our night in Paris. I'm dripping. A pool is forming and I'm like, why

in the fuck did I not just say, excuse me, I'll take another car. Why didn't you? So the air wasn't working at all? Did you ask about the air? He said it's broken. Is the air conditioner not working? You could have called another car. Of course. You could have, but this is the state of my self-esteem and the level that I'm able to advocate for myself.

I sat there. Now, when you go back to LA, you cross the mountains or something and then the temperature drops like 10, 20 degrees. Of course it does, yes. But that was a good 20 to 30 minutes. And I was panicking so much. So you were saying your self-worth was low because you were at my house and I dogged you down to where you felt. Well, I think you beat me so viciously emotionally, physically, and sexually that I

could not even, and you also had sewn my mouth shut. So I wasn't able to advocate for myself. Double cross-stitch. But what's interesting is that you're telling me this story as if it's a bad thing. No, it's your fault is what I'm saying. Oh, of course it is. Everything is my fault. Everything is my fault.

Oh yeah, so I ruined your fucking life. Yeah. Yeah, or at least that day. And that's why you haven't been back out. Yeah, I haven't gone out. It's tricky.

I'm an agoraphobic. I haven't gone to Palm Springs or anywhere. You guys should. You know, I zoom into our podcast on the road, you know. You're not even here right now.

You're an hologram. Thank you. Oh, wish. Could you imagine how great that would be? Like, that would be the best. Manila said to me, she's like,

we were talking about Dame Edna who has an understudy and Manila was like, isn't that fierce? I'm like, girl, they come to see you. It's just you.

You ain't got no talent. They're coming to see you, not somebody else who says. Isn't that crazy? It's crazy. It's just like when people have these shows that are on Broadway

that are like their biography, their life, and then they have a standby. But it's your story. But that's Broadway though. I know, but honestly, if you're going to see them,

you don't want to see some second rate bitch doing the story of Dame Edna. But here's the tea. But that's Broadway, though. I know. But honestly, if you're going to see them, you don't want to see some second-rate bitch doing the story of Daymanda. But here's the tea, though. Here's the tea. When you have, at least in these productions, like Chicago starring Erika Jayne. When she has a contract where she needs to appear three nights a year. Okay. And then guess where Understudy is? Who? A show-stopping, unknown, incredible dancer.

Of course. You're like, thank God Erica wasn't here. But that's how it is, though. It's like, I've been at shows where, I forgot what show it was, but do you know who Linda Lavin is? Linda Lavin was from Alice, which is the Kiss My Grits show.

You are so old. Anyway, the point was, I was there, and then they announced that the star wasn't there, and then they said, in the performance we played by Linda Lavin. And you're like, fuck out of here. And I thought, I'm not going to dog her and leave. So I stayed and I watched it.

But I did see people leave. And I'm like, that's fucked up. You bought the ticket. But you know this, if their name is above the title, that they have to give you the money back. Well, fierce. It's true. So like, you know, if you were trickster doing a show

and one of you were not there, would they really notice if you weren't there? Oh, please. We could put Bunny in her place and Sherry in mine. There you go. You know what if you were trickster doing a show and one of you were not there, would they really notice if you weren't there? Oh, please. We could put Bunny in her place and Sherry in mine. There you go. You know what I mean? And people would stay for the whole thing. They would stay for the whole thing.

For once. Yeah, they'd laugh, you know. They'd be like, no intermission. Just keep going. We love this. Keep moving. Keep moving. No, but on the road.

Listen, and I don't mean this is such a fucking obnoxious thing to say, but when you are on the road. Whenever you preface it with that, it's going to be bad. When you're on the road with Bianca, you want to fuck her so bad. No, it's like when you're sick on the road, you can't take a night off. No. You can't.

It's too much. Yeah, you can't. Because there's no understudy. Right. They're there to see you. That's the unique quality of our professions. We're famous for being us. Yeah, and you've got to go and do the show.

I've never canceled a show. Fierce. Yeah, I've had. We've rescheduled. Okay, never canceled the show fierce yeah i've had we've rescheduled okay the truth comes out no we've rescheduled there was one uh in peru last year because we did 129 shows in 27 countries in 99 cities and i peru was the only one we had because there was some political shit going on so we couldn't get there so that was it that was the only one and then i had to go make it up later the hardest working bitch i am and i you know you are it's crazy you do it are, it's crazy. But you do it to work. That's me. I do it to work. You love working.

I do like working. I like working on the road. Oh. Which, you know, a lot of people have gone and done, you know, television stuff and different things like that, which is great if that happened, but I always like being on the road. I prefer the road. There's nothing like being a live entertainer. Yeah, I just like being, well, alive. Depends on the night. Dead inside. Some keep, come see Dead Inside.

But I, no, but I like, I like live interactions with people. So that's always been my thing. Mama, you're so quick and you do not even let them get a word. Before they've even tried coming up with their rebuttal

or their, their rebuttal. They're like, you're like, well, find the pussy. Next. It's like,

it's so, you're like, you are such a, um, drill sergeant with the comedy. Well, it depends on who you talk to. You know, it's not everybody's cup of tea

because that's what we deal with nowadays. Of course not. I mean, I hate most standup. But the weird thing now is that everybody's called a comedy queen when they're ugly. Have you noticed that? Girl, we went on a comedy tour with you. You know what I was doing on stage wasn't comedy.

It was comedically awful. Oh, we did do that gig together. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. You just brought it up. I did not. Okay. Let's get back to your show.

I forgot all I got it Thank God See you are rotted This is why you deserve That hot fucking car With your balls melting You're out of time Speaking of rotting balls

This onesie is heating me up It's hot isn't it Yeah I can see the sweat coming in Right here I do see No literally I do see it

Do you want me to You need a little moisture No I'm good I'm good No contrary to belief I am moist at my age Girl Well let me just be sincere

For a second You look fucking fabulous Up close, which is no small feat. Wait, what does that, have you seen like horrible people up close? Is that you just go? Do I have eyeballs? Do I have glaucoma? I'm asking though, because it's like, would you mean that it's like, do you look like yourself? Because that's what I always find interesting.

Because you see some of these photos where you're like, okay, they look good. Like I'm going to throw credit. You look gorgeous. Rue. Oh. She looked fabulous. Oh, I thought you were going to say she looked bad. No, no, no, no. Not on the main stage going to throw credit. You look gorgeous. Rue. Oh, in person? Fabulous. Oh, I thought you were going to say she looked bad.

No, no, no, no. Not on the main stage. I haven't seen her in years. Not on the main stage. She's lit so fiercely on the main stage. We did a little live podcast towards the end of All Stars 2. I saw her,

we were this close to each other in regular lighting. I was like, okay, so how many bottles of baby blood did she fucking drink today? No, she does look good. Fabulous. You've never done a tic-tac,

you've done a tic-tac lunch with her? That was the tic, that was the tic, instead of that, it was a Fabulous. You've never done a tic-tac. You've done a tic-tac lunch with her? That was a tic-tac. That was a tic-tac. Instead of that, it was a podcast. Okay. So we did the tic-tac. Was she in drag or out of drag? In drag.

Full drag. Yeah, yeah. It's always good when she's in drag. But I had that moment when we did tic-tac lunch and I was just like, am I allowed to look at you? And she said, yes. It was crazy. And I was looking at all of it.

All of it. It was fabulous. It was fabulous. I mean, of course, Raven's artistry is fabulous. Yes, it was. Our season was Matthew Anderson fabulous. I mean, of course, Raven's artistry is fabulous. Yes, it was. Our season was Matthew Anderson art. So yeah, it was like, just, uh. But girl, you look, and I'm like, I mean, we did two podcast tours on the road.

And on day one, I was rusty and dragged and shave, right? Didn't do my skincare. It looked horrible. Day two, Fina did my skincare. I looked amazing. But whatever you're doing, keep doing it. I look like my picture, girl. It's just what it is. But that's fierce, though. No, but if you look like AI to start with, you're doing Keep doing it I look like my picture girl It's just what it is

But that's fierce though If you look like AI to start with You just continue to do it That's what I mean There ain't no way You just stop blending And you add a bottom lash

When you got wrinkles Bitch it covers everything AI is that anal intent? That's it That's what I'm all about Anal intention Okay Where's the first show?

Oh the first show's in San Diego And then my last one will be My last one of this round Will actually be in Palm Desert Which I'll end in Palm Springs so the bus will pick me up at home Cunty

that's what I just figured out that's Cunty and you know people think a bus I go yes it's the best thing because you don't have to you don't have to fly so I start there

and then we do all of it and then we end up back in Palm Springs so for all ticket information you can go to thebiancadelrio.com which is and you are on socials

at Bianca Del Rio yeah it's always the Bianca Del Rio there's a whole nother story not a Bianca Del Rio no there's a is and you are on socials at Bianca Del Rio. Yeah. It's always the Bianca Del Rio. There's a whole nother story. Not a Bianca Del Rio. No, there's a girl that has the same name in Florida. Oh, fuck her.

Oh, girl, imagine the hate mail that cunt gets. Well, from the bottom of mine and Lady Bunny's hearts, we both hope that that bus crashes right away. But then I can make a comeback because remember Gloria Estefan had that bus that crashed. Oh, yeah. No, she came back with Standing in the Dark. Remember that song that she was staying there? Well, girl, we could just take that airline out. Was it United where the doors fly open? Can you imagine? Spirit. No, she came back with Standing in the Dark. Remember that song that she was staying there? Well, girl, we could just take that airline now. Was it United where the doors fly open?

Can you imagine? No, really. Did you hear about that plane that just flew open with the door? I saw the picture. I thought it was fake. No, it's real. A baby almost flew out, but it didn't. But I'm going to ask you this.

Have you ever been on the plane where you've been fucked up or drunk and you just look at that emergency exit and you're just thinking to yourself, I'll go push it? I've done it. I've been in my brain where I sit there sometimes and I'm just like, it's that devil-y side of me that just goes, do it. It's the subway. You have to push somebody on the tracks. The train's coming and you're like, I could just push it. She tripped.

I saw it. Let's do a whole series where we just go and do that to people. You do me first, then I'll do you. Okay, great. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Well, thank you so much, Ruben.

Thank you for the onesie. I'm keeping it. You can keep it. Honestly, you're so fabulous. Thank you so much for coming. Oh, please thank you for having me. It's good to see you. Break a leg on tour. Thank you. much for being here. Thank you for the onesie. I'm keeping it. Honestly, you're so fabulous. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. It's good to see you. I'd break a leg on tour.

Thank you. I plan to. I appreciate it. Good to see you, Kyle. All right. Bye.