The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Dreaming About Being a Sumo Wrestler with Katya & Katya's "Mom"

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

Part 2 of our special Mother's Day Bald and the Beautiful Extravaganza continues as we welcome Katya's Mom to the podcast! After recovering from the only known case of COVID hemorrhoids, she is fresh out of acute posterior rehab and ready to talk about Katya's placenta, her tragic deli-based skull injuries as an infant, and the actual legal name she was given at birth. This episode is touching. It's confusing. It's kinda gross. In other words, it's a microcosm of genuine motherly love. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to another riveting episode of the Bald and the Beautiful podcast. Today, I am flying solo.

I am the only host. Trixie, she's passed on, and so she has given me the great opportunity to do this by myself, and I'm here with an incredible woman in our second installment of the Mother's Day extravaganza eleganza. So I'm here with an incredible woman, a woman who, she is the sister I never had. She is the friend you've always dreamed of. She is the lover that dare not speak its name. She is, in fact, my mother. The incredible, the talented, the show-stopping Patricia Ann McCook.

Nay, Morin. Thank you so much. Well, of course, known to me as simply Mom. Thank you so much for being here, Mom. I know we had a little bit of a, you know, listen, you are so good at so many things. Technology perhaps is not one of your strong suits. I think it took us about three and a half hours to set up this Zoom call, but I appreciate you sticking it out. It was just a quick hiccup.

No, is that a hiccup and a cough? That's a hiccup and a cough. Quite honestly, I can't believe you sprang from my loins. Now, okay, so we have so much to talk about. But before we get into the nitty gritty, I want to ask you a very personal question. Yes. So during labor, when you were giving birth to me, you famously said to me at one point that the doctor or the, it was the doctor or the nurse in the room administered an enema to you during labor. Now, why?

Why? What is the point of that? Well, I didn't think it was appropriate to tell you before. I think you're mature enough to handle it, but you were a twin. And the other one wasn't coming out. Oh. And so they had to detach the placenta. Now, wait. So, okay. So was it a, so my, okay, wow, this is a lot to process. Was the twin coming from the, excuse my French, but the other hole or? Here's what happened. I had a simple handlebar accident when I was young

and my uterus fell out. And so one of my eggs was fertilized outside of my womb. You were fertilized inside my womb. See, I didn't fuck your father. I fucked your grandfather. Fuck your father. I fucked your grandfather. So you have a sister that's 60 years old. She's older than me. We called you, everybody calls you Katya, but your name was Catheter. And there's a third one called Transvaginal Mesh.

Now, this is a lot to chew on. This is a lot to chew on. It's funny. It's funny.'s funny that character like your umbilical cord that wasn't gonna give up the ghost i mean this is oh god you know this is this is fun because this is really kind of what our relationship in a nutshell this is what our relationship is like it's been a lot of lies a lot of deception but mostly a lot of fun mostly a lot of fun um it doesn't mean I love you any less. It just means I love people more. Right. Right. Of course. Now, what, so how would you, I mean,

you know, I did about two and a half semesters of psychology, both at regular university and community college. Right. So I know a lot about the, you know, the psyche and the inner workings of people and especially parenting styles, which I studied quite a bit of. Now, how would you describe your parenting style? Not just with me, but with my siblings. Well, I would consider it a very Dr. Spock approach. Very little nurturing, very few breasts.

Just to let you know, by skull measurement alone, I think Brooklyn Heights is your sister. So there's that. There's a reason that you plank so much. And that would be? Because we were in Canada when I dropped you. because we were in Canada when I dropped you. No, it's funny you should mention that because I don't, I'm not a person who likes to hold onto the past

and I certainly wouldn't ever use things against you, you know, or anybody, you or anybody really. But if you could kind of let me in on what was actually going on that day that you dropped me because it wasn't a grocery store at the checkout line. And, you know, did you feel guilt? Or is there any residual kind of like guilt from that? I have two emotions.

Two emotions. They go from A to B. Gotcha. In the grocery store, we didn't have the money to go on the rodeo ride. No. With our clowns? Yeah. But we didn't have access to them.

So I thought it'd be really sweet to just grab you by the ankles and swing you around in the hot deli section. Well, I mean, I certainly can't ever, you know, accuse you of not being fun. Listen, Catheter, you made contact with a pastrami. being fun. Listen, catheter, you made contact with a pastrami.

I wasn't mad. I was disappointed that your skull was so soft. I thought, and then I realized all your bones are hollow. Somebody got to you first. They sucked the marrow right out. I didn't even have a chance. You know, it's, it, oh, sorry to the marrow right out. I didn't even have a chance. You know, it's... Sorry to interrupt you, Mom. Sometimes you just don't track with me.

And I try and reconnect. Well, have you ever considered that maybe it's your fault for the things that were, you know, that you did to me? And I'm not liable for anything that I've ever done? Has that possibility ever crossed your mind that the things that I did wrong are absolutely all your fault? And what are even those things? Tone, please. Vibe check. Three words. Bugle boy jeans. All right, let's regroup. Let's regroup because I don't like the way this is going in. So you married my dad. Why?

going in. So you married my dad. Why? Look at, do you see his gold teeth when he's gone? That's an investment right there. That was fantastic. Did he have bigger breasts than I did? Just remember, you were suckled and nurtured by your father. Why do you like to exercise the vampires? Because he was Transylvanian. Right, of course. Which is funny because, you know, actually I think there are a lot of listeners, even now, that still believe that I'm Russian. It's not my character.

You know, my character is really Russian. You know what I'm trying to say. And they believe that you are from the old country. Are you from the old country or are you just old? It's sticky. It's a sticky. We're on tricky terrain here. Catheter, here's what happened.

I was in Canada. Next thing I know, I'm crawling across the Aleutians and I end up in Russia. Who's kicked out? Well, I had to get on the next ice flow, get myself back to Canada. But I think really what you're asking is, why do I keep asking about a grandchild? When are you going to get that pancake batter

you call sperm in action? Right. Well, this might be a good time. I don't know. I don't want to weaponize this holiday against you, as I have done so many times before. Yes, you have. But I would... Hold on.

Let me just... Give me a second for... Okay. Listen, every now and then, I just think, I should have flushed you when I had the chance. Flushed me? But then I take the... Oh, flushed. Flushed. Flushed. Flushed you. Wait, flushed you when I had the chance. Flushed me? Oh, flushed, flushed, flushed.

Flushed you. Wait, flushed? Well, this is to that point and also unrelated. I'm gay. When did that happen? I'm gay. Thank you for coming out. Listen, I chose to be gay about three to six months ago.

And it's a decision that I made because I have no choice. So listen, I know you have a lot of opinions and that's why you're so easygoing. But I just need to let you know that a grandchild is not only not possible, it's imminent. It's not going to happen. Maybe. It could. Never. Except it's 100% 50-50.

Thank you. Finally, we agree halfway on something. Yeah, that's absolutely right. Although, when I was just trying to catch up, just catching snatches of your lods out there. I believe you said, and I quote, you wanted my flop ass out of the spotlight. Well, maybe it's time for mother to return to the roost. That was also to that point. And thank you for bringing that up.

We'll get to that later. But right now, what was it like being on RuPaul's Drag Race? Because I know that you are, I mean, you're a very outgoing person. You're extremely competent. You're very capable in all manner of social situations, but never really a performer yourself. How were you feeling?

How were you feeling that when we had to go out on the runway together on RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 2? What was that like? I was just waiting for some balloons to drop, maybe have like a Chuck E. Cheese moment.

Maybe there would be some games or something. Yeah. I didn't realize I was going to be like a Chuck E. Cheese moment. Maybe there would be some games or something. Yeah. I didn't realize I was going to be such a show pony. But, nip, what has happened? I now do Shakespeare. I do backstage modeling. Maybe one day I'll do front stage.

Front stage modeling. Just, you know, spare time. And that's pretty, I mean, you know, it's pretty unusual for a woman who's what, 60? Same floor. Yeah. In her mid to late early 60s. So how do you, I mean, don't you feel self-conscious back there or in front with the modeling? I mean, at your age. Not that you, I mean, your figure is feel self-conscious back there or in front with the modeling? I mean, at your age.

Not that you, I mean, your figure is incredible. Let's just get that straight. Incredible. I only feel self-conscious when that eye of yours begins twitching. I see the aneurysm start and it's a look of the hour of discontent. Yeah. That hour leads to a 24-7 cycle, doesn't it? It sure does.

And then the flop sweats start. Yeah. So this is the second time you've mentioned flop. I feel like when you weaponize my own rhetoric against me, it brings us together. So thank you. You have a congeniality defect. Okay. Enough of the show. Enough of the show because people really want to know.

And I have a list of questions here from the viewers that, or the listeners. The listeners. They're listening. So I have famously talked about this story about you that people don't know if it's real or not. And of course it is real about when you were a mother of three, you know, I think all of us were, God, we were in, you know, six to seven, eight, nine years old. You were overwhelmed one day you screamed. And then the next week you were in China. You just, you screamed and went to China. That's how I remember it. And you were there for two weeks, riding bikes with some women that I'm not sure who those women are, but

friends, I'm assuming. So why did you go to China and what did you learn there? There's something you don't know about me. I had a dream and that dream was to be a sumo wrestler. I sold bacon, just the bits on the weekend. And I tried everything I could, but I have Skinny's disease. I think that I'm going to need a telethon. Or two. I just can't gain a pound. I can't. You are famously very, very thin.

Notoriously. Notoriously, T-H-I-N. Yeah, one bone. If you look at my hip bone you'll cut a cheek now i want to go back to what you just said because it was interesting um why china for sumo wrestling but i do believe that that sumo is native to japan if i'm not mistaken if i'm not mistaken which i could be am i mistaken well I see that somebody read the encyclopedia Britannica from 1974 didn't they you don't know this is an underground

this is an underground oh Chinese wrestling we don't talk about it. This is the first time probably it's ever been spoken about. I trained with rickshaws. I trained with sashes. I trained with chopsticks to no avail. And so when coming back to America and to the family, it must have been kind of disappointing because I'm assuming that you intended to do something with this training, the sumo, Chinese sumo training.

Well, I still do. I still do. I portage. I canoe. I can make a strong soup of sorts. It's all helped me get to this point in life and raise the three of you like you were in my eye all the time. Yeah.

Which one of us, oh, sorry to interrupt you. Which one of us did you give birth to first? I can't remember. Well, the problem is that when you have four holes, who knows what's going on down there. It's like a busy furlough. Now, are you unclear about which one came for, which of us came first? Or are you just kind of trying to be fun for the podcast?

You don't have to be trying to tell jokes or anything. This is very, people want to hear the real you. As your father said, because I had things going downtown, they also opened the sunroof. And one of you came out through the belly button. Oh, that must have been, well, that must have been. Listen, I still have a belly full of Tegger claws to prove it. Now, was that Danny or?

Plachenta or was it transvaginal mesh? Now, was that Danny or... Lechenta? Or was it transvaginal mesh? Now, let's talk about your work, because people, I know especially my fans, will be fascinated to know about your work in psychiatric nursing. Correct. Listen, sometimes when I show you two sides of an inkblot that I've put together, there's only one correct answer. It is, you should know this. A Fandango?

An inkblot. That's all it is. Okay, okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. So you've worked with populations. Let's see. You've worked with adolescents, geriatrics, eating disorders. You've worked with, have you worked with animals? Yeah, I've worked with nibbler dogs.

And so out of all those populations, which would you describe as the most challenging in terms of nursing? Oh, six-year-olds are assholes. Okay. Yeah. You know. Yeah. They're just incorrigible. And then I find something happens between the tween and the adult.

There's a self-awareness that simply insists upon itself. And that's hard. Six-year-olds are famously hard to tame. Well, do they respond to meds at all? I put them on a wheel. I put them on something to get them outside of themselves and generate electricity at the same time.

I can't tell if you're joking or not, which is, I think, part of the fun of being your son. Yeah, I think that's part of the fun. That's the thing. Who knows what you are? Do you need a definition? That's the least most interesting thing about you. What you do in bed is the most fascinating thing about you.

Well, let's talk about that because I don't recall, and I don't mean to put you on the spot, but growing up as a person who decided much later on to be gay, like I am, I never received any actual sex education or any kind of the birds and the bees talk, let's say, from you or from dad. And I'm kind of wondering why that was. And was it because I was myself way too sexy? You just assumed that I knew everything? Or I just, I'm not really sure. I threw a pink pamphlet on your nightstand. I expected you to read it.

But I couldn't read at night. There were no lights in the house. So why do you do that? I mean, I think this is like that kind of gaslighting thing, right? Except it's dark. Can you gaslight in the dark? I understand where you're coming from. It's because I walked in on you.

And that boy and the girl and the half donkey, which is a mule, rubbing you raw. Well, I mean, I don't know what to say. And then what's the next thing that happens? I don't see you for weeks, and I see you're playing an informant on Redmond Hand, Private Dick. Well, at least thank you. I mean, that's something that Trixie surely can't say. Her mom hadn't even known that she'd been on Drag Race.

So I do appreciate you knowing at least one little line out of my IMDb. IMDb. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot. But the rewards don't stop there. When you earn two times more points on things that matter to you and your business, easily track those business expenses, and experience flexible Aventura rewards,

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Light it up! And hits like Dexter. You're decent and good. I'm not. Paramount plus your eyeballs equals entertainment stream. Paramount plus from six 99 a month. Listen, I need to keep my finger on the pulse of what's going on.

I like to fiddle with the zeitgeist and I need you. I need you back in my womb. I need you to come right back. And we're going to try rebirthing all over again. Oh, my God. So that's funny because my next the next question from one of the fans here is. So what they're wanting to know is when you reach menopause, do you do you age in reverse? I think what they mean is like, do you unget your period at a certain point and then grow younger?

Or what's kind of the biological process of un-becoming a woman? You're not becoming a woman. Your body just goes back to how it originally was. You're born. You menstruate. Give birth. And then? Then you menopause. Then you die. Oh. That's right. Give birth. And then? Then you menopause.

Then you die. Oh. That's it. The Fab Five. It's just a cycle. That's all you're going to do. Your body's going to go back to its natural state as when it was born. Okay, so.

Do you want, look it, I could be an 80-year-old mother. And I'd have to shit another one of you out. Was that something that you think is... Was that something you'd actually be interested in? Because, you know, not... I'm not going to have children, and I

know I have a nephew and maybe another niece or nephew on the way, but I would be interested in having another brother or sister. Oh, I know you would. And it's all up to you now, isn't it? What goes on in my vagine? Oh, OK. If catheter wants a baby, I guess mommy will have to have a baby. Let's talk about dad. Shant we? Yeah. So your dad passed away at some point.

And were you ever confused about, oh, sorry. Yeah. He passed away due to death. Yeah. Now it was, that was the cause of death was it was mortality. It was, that was the official cause of death. Okay. Were you ever confused? Because I know growing up, me, Danny, and Shannon often called Dad, Dad, or simply just Dad. Were you ever confused that he was your dad because of that? I was very confused because I had urges, feelings. Listen, I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with the teacher. I'm the kind of girl that sleeps with the teacher's father.

Well, that must have been tough because Dad transitioned from a businessman to a teacher when he was about 45. That's exactly what I'm saying. Not just your father, your grandfather. Everybody's been inside. It's a family affair. Just to let you know, it's best we keep the bloodline pure. Oh, by the way, you're a hemophiliac. You don't need to take a test.

You don't need to take the test. And your father had a secret identity. He's got four passports. Oh. To four different countries or for four different ages? America, Transylvanian, Londonese, and Nepalese. Well, I mean, I'd say I'm surprised, but I don't believe you. So let's just move on.

I've got the receipts. Right here. From the passport store. Okay, let's move on. Let's move on. Let's move on. Let's talk about dad again. So. You can just call him Ned.

You're at the point now. You can call him first names. He's lanky. So dad, dad never talked about having sex with you. So naturally, I mean, not that it's any of our business. It's a family thing. You know, business and family are separate. But he never really explicitly mentioned ever having sex with you. So I'm I mean, I know know for me i can't speak for

danny or shannon but i know that that was probably the the the kind of that was the really the catalyst of us coming to of us coming to you and trying to force you out of the house because we had no idea that you were the mom you know and right right because anal's not really sex. No, it's just union. That's how you preserve the rose, the flower, the bud. You know, after crapping all of you out, you stretch the old hymen there. How do I regrow it? I needed a moment of reprieve.

Reprieve, yeah. Did you find that you had to, I mean, you and dad both worked a lot. Do you ever regret working so much? Or, I mean, did you ever wish to stay at home? Were you satisfied with the amount of time that you had with us growing up in the house before we all left for college? Why have regrets at this point when you can tell everybody how awful it was? I don't mean. So let's talk about your maiden name.

Yes. What was it again? Foflorigan. What was it again? And that was. A hybrid. Oh, hybrid. Yeah.

Well, obviously the height came from Sweden. Mm- hybrid. Yeah. Of. Well, obviously the height came from Sweden. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And the weight. Oh. The weight. I have an Oregon passport because it's very hard to get in and out of that state. No bones about that.

The Canadian passport. You know, I've got some Sicilian. You're half black, by the way. And do you regret that or has that been an asset? It's been a tremendous asset. Just ask my moles. Look at how hairy they are.

Not everybody has a hairy mole. Yeah. That's been good luck in many cultures and all throughout at least the 80s. Correct. Although moles are known for tears. You may not know that. Yes. You should have.

I had all of my moles removed from my body. Too much crying. I preserved them in a pickle. Correct. They're pickled. Don't mix that up. No. Oh, God, no. I wouldn't dream of doing that. Okay. So't mix that up. No, no. Oh, God, no.

I wouldn't dream of doing that. Okay, so let's move on. Back to Dad. Yes. Who do you think, in the lifetime original movie of your life, who would play Dad? My father, your husband. Who would play him? Michael J. Fox. fox okay from which era

family ties okay okay great wow okay not because he has the canadiana in him he's the canadiana he has the google eye like one eye is bonk. Well, dad was notoriously shifty. Is, sorry, he's still with us, of course. Yeah, he's still with us. I would definitely mix it in with a little bit of Alex Trebek, some Alan Thicke, some Michael Bublé. Oh, wow. So a lot of Canadian influence here, which is interesting.

Interesting. You shouldn't be shocked. So close to Russia. Look at that. Can we just look at the most precious child of all, Johnny Weir? Yes. Yeah. When did he decide to be gay? When did he decide to be gay? His early, early, very early days. Yeah yeah but he always knew he was russian at heart okay right yeah what so what i i mean it's tough because do you think that uh well let me look at the questions hold on one second i think if i would have had different sperm you would have turned out differently? Perhaps.

Perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. And if I had, if you had wanted a girl and I had turned out a boy. Yes. What kind of sport or what kind of extracurricular activities would you have preferred that I'd not do? Calligraphy. Another perfect answer.

Okay, so back to your career. Let's talk about Dad again. Why was he so sexy? Because he was an narcoleptic. That's why. His skin was pure. He slept 20 hours a day. How could you not be hot?

Look at that. Close one eye. Close it. See? God damn it, you're gorgeous. Oh my God. Okay. Next question. You famously became a nurse in order to... No, I'm sorry. Let me start that again. So complete the sentence. I famously became a nurse in order to solve my blank. Speculum problem. Okay. So, oh, okay. So can't beat him, join him kind of a situation.

Exactly. Doctor known thyself. No. Right. Right. Right. Of course. Of course.

I should have taken grammar. I should have done. Well, let's go back. Let's go to your childhood. Now, growing up, okay, so you come from a family with a sister and a brother. Correct. And so your brother, my uncle, grew up to be gay as well. Do you feel that he turned me gay?

Or do you feel that there is some kind of genetic component to homosexuality? And also, am I gay? Nature versus nurture. I don't think it's just a yes or no question. There's a lot of fluidity in the middle. Do you need to make a decisive, I'm this or this? I'm a different kind of asshole than I was when I was five years old. I'm a different person than I was when I was six months ago. So you don't have to stick with the label, honey.

You don't need to say, I'm gay today. You may be gay tomorrow. You may test the tar a little bit differently in a week or so. It's how you feel with the knowledge that you have. And I just expect you and nurture you to grow as you feel comfortable in your own skin. That's all I can ask of you. Incredible. of law. This episode is brought to you by Dyson OnTrack. Dyson OnTrack headphones offer best in class noise cancellation and an enhanced sound range, making them perfect for enjoying music

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Turn off hesitation. Turn off doubt. Turn off fears. The YMCA of Greater Toronto helps you turn off whatever's holding you back so you can let your potential shine. Turn on confidence. Turn on connections. Turn on connections.

Turn on possibilities. There are hundreds of programs and services available at the Y. See what you can achieve at ymcagta.org. This will be the day. Now, so on the show, it's funny because you had a pretty, you had a pretty entertaining Boston accent, right? When did you decide to lose the accent? Because I noticed just about five minutes ago, you kind of talk a little bit differently than I'm used to, which is fine. Because I know when the birds flee the coop or whatever they say, you know, I know that there's usually a kind of a renaissance with an older parent, right?

Am I not correct in that? I went to elocution classes up in Canadialand. And the Canadian accent negated the Boston accent. Ergo, I have just a generic, a nondescript affectation. Okay. One that says I'm pompous, one that says I'm better than everyone else. That's so funny because I've always kind of known you to be like more,

I would never describe you as pompous. I would say down to earth, nurturing, loving. What happened? Because the second that you little bastards left the home, I took it back for myself. But now I realize there has to be a balance to everything. I can't be shooting my mouth off like that. I can only tell you in private.

Would you go back on the show, RuPaul's Drag Race? If I was on there and you were called back for another challenge, would you do it? If you felt strongly about having me, of course I would. I'd only, I'm here to please you. I want to see you happy. And if that's what would make you happy, to have you suckle in my arms again, then yes. Yes, I would, of course. To stand by your side and see you happily prance about.

Of course, I would. That's really, I'm glad to hear that. I want to talk, I want to, okay, I want to kind of expose you for a minute, just in a very lightweight, friendly way. I remember when I was 16, you and dad were on the way to go see my therapist. I was having a little bit of a tough time, but I had made a deal with my therapist that before you guys came to see her, I would try and tell her that I was, you know, gay. Yeah.

Because if I didn't, there would be not a lot of usefulness to your meeting with her, right? Because that was really much, it was pretty much the only thing we discussed for the past, you know, whatever, how many weeks. So I said to you, I'm gay, in the kitchen, literally minutes before you left to her, to see her. And you, I'll never forget, you said, oh, really? And I said, you didn't know.

And you said, I had no idea. Now, I know what I was like back then. And I've shared with the listeners what I was like back then. I find it a little hard to believe that a psychiatric nurse who is a very intelligent woman and a very observant and loving parent had quote, no idea that her son was gay. Meanwhile, your brother, famously gay. What was really going on in your head that day? There's certain things that as a mother, you can't see. The blinders are up. There are so many other things going on. That wasn't your leading quality. You had other things going on, which was clouding the actual sexual situation. But as a young man blossoming into whatever you wished to be, it wasn't a

question of how could I not identify it? That really was not on the radar. It was how could I nurture you through what you were going through? That's it. It was just, where was my focus? My focus was getting you healthy and getting your, we're wiring on a place where you could live with yourself. Whatever you did, if you felt like you were gay, great. But that wasn't what I was like, oh my God, he's gay. but that wasn't what I was like oh my god he's gay so you didn't see any of the stacks and stacks of macho and hot jock magazines that I had piled up in and outside of my bedroom the ones that were covered in pardon my french but semen um that didn't ring any bell or that didn't because you had to move them in order to get into my room. Everybody did. I barricaded my doors with gay porn videotapes as well that were clearly, you know, well-worn because of all the cases were torn and there was a lot of fluid on all the tapes.

I just assumed it was pancake batter. I did love to cook. I did. Listen, you were a little bit of a hoarder. They could have come from anywhere. They could have been your friends. You know, the mind chooses what it picks to ignore. That's true.

That's true. That's psych 101. You can quote me on that. Yeah. It's psych 101. Because what is it in myself that I chose to ignore? That's really the question. It's a reflective question.

It's not what I didn't see in you. What didn't I see in myself? Why do I not like some people? For the exact reason I don't like things in myself. Give me a quality of what you didn't like in your father. The feet. Much too rough. Coarse feet. Too rough.

They were goddamn... Barney Rubble. Barney Rubble feet. And how are your feet? Smooth as a baby's butt. You're obsessed with them. Because of that. It's all cyclical. Did dad ever get any of those holiday packs, the miniature stockings that were stuffed with pumice files,

the pumice stones and the little foot files? He did. Did he ever get any of those? He thanks you for each and every one of them. He didn't know they were for the feet. He put them in the bottom of the aquarium. Well, at least they went to good use. okay i'm gonna i want to ask you a little um a little so there's this like cheesy little questionnaire um that is uh it's from inside the

actor's studio so here are the questions so um so thank you okay mom well first of all thank you so much for doing this i know the technology darling. I love you, darling. You're my favorite child. You're just saying that. Actually, I heard Danny say that. I heard you said that to Danny last week, but it's okay. How dare you? Okay. So this is the Inside the Actress Studio question. They're not particularly relevant to a nurse, but I think that you are a woman of many abilities. You're certainly multifaceted. So, and much more interesting than the average celebrity, if you don't mind my saying. So what is your favorite word? Bees. Sorry.

Excuse me. What is your least favorite word? Close the barn door. I like mine open. That was a, that's a long word. What turns you on? What turns you off? Hold on a second.

What? I'm having a moisture right now. I'm full of moisture. You should never have said that. I'm sorry. That is disgusting. What turns you off? Oh, cash.

What sound or noise do you love? The queen waving. What sound or noise do you hate? Cruise ships. I hate when they dock. What is your favorite curse word? You bitchy mime. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Champagne. Oh, I'm sorry. That was an answer to another question. Excuse me. attempt? Champagne. Oh, I'm sorry. That was an answer to another question. Excuse me. What profession would you not like to do? Hawaii. Is that a profession? Hawaii. For you? Absolutely. For you? Absolutely. Okay. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say

when you arrive at the pearly gates? Magic eight pulses. Okay. Now, and finally, what does motherhood mean to you

in three words? Huh? Uh? Arts. And very finally, I just want to say thank you so much. We don't get to see each other in real life very often, especially since

COVID and all this stuff. But I'm just so excited that you finally figured out how to use the computer. Without Dad's help, I should add. And I know that technology has been challenging and a real trigger for you. So I've loved you a very long time. And I want you to know that if you ever struggle with anything, you can always come to me. I'll always love you no matter what decisions that you make. Hopefully with everything that I've raised you with, you make smart decisions.

But we all get off track and we all feel down on ourselves. But I'm always here for you, dear. Thank you. So will you actually give, you think you could give me your phone number? I know you've been very secretive about it. Because I don't know how, you know, how do I get in touch with you if I have an issue? I can give it to you now. It's 310-

Thank you so much. That is such a generous act from a generous woman and with a truly generous soul. Happy Mother's Day. Mom, happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Thank you, dear. I love you dear I love you

I love you too