The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Gym Peacocking on Taco Tuesday with Jaida Essence Hall & Heidi N Closet

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Straight from the 12th season of RuPaul's Drag Race, this week we welcome Jaida Essence Hall & Heidi N Closet to engage in thorough conversation about Gym Peacocking, Green Asses, Paul Ruth's Steakhou...se, and Humps with Eyelashes. To follow Jaida: @JaidaEHall To follow Heidi: @HeidiNCloset To follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel To follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:54 Shut your ass up then. I told them I ain't got no kids. Oh my God. Wow. We are really here. We're here. We're queer. And we are joined.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Well, hold on. Well, first, welcome back to the bald and the beautiful. We are two faggy bald fucks who have the distinct pleasure and incredible honor to be joined by two gorgeous and beautiful ladies who have a full head of hair each. Absolutely. Except for a tiny piece in the front of my head. Wait, wait. And also, wait. So, Jada Essence Hall and Heidi in Closet, can I please serenade you very quickly? Yes, please.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Sincerely. Please. Congratulations. Oh, that was supposed to be applause. Oh, shit. Yay. It was beautiful. Thank you, thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:42 One congratulation to you. Thank you. And then I was thinking that you were going to sing as well. Why am I still in this amazing voice right now? You sound like you're selling something. This is like right now we're selling shade buttons. And we have one in the pussy pink. And we have another in raging red. Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Now, we're lucky because I saw you on orville's story yesterday and i was like this woman's in town we're gonna try to get her and then i didn't know that this woman was gonna be here and i really didn't either they kind of just picked me up off the corner i didn't even see them pick her up i just looked over and she was next to me in the car you thought she was a bag. Can somebody please get their things? Oh, it's talking. It's Heidi. We were recapping season 12 to do a little
Starting point is 00:02:32 cramming before you got here and I was like, we should get Heidi next and then somebody said she lives here now. Yes, I moved a month ago and I'm living my best life over on the hoestroll. Welcome to Los Angeles. It's Los Angeles. Which can be a little more specific about this stroll?
Starting point is 00:02:50 Behind the 24-hour gym. That's one. Oh, the one on Santa Monica? Oh, that is the whole stroll. Do you also want to tell them your full address? What's the last form of your social? People won't tell that. People will be waiting outside the gym,
Starting point is 00:03:05 just looking like she's going to come past at some point. People have a right to know that is the whole gym. And I've heard, I went to 24 hour fitness for three and a half years. And my friend told me that people aren't drinking off in there all the time. I went there for four years and never saw no one naked, except those extremely old people whose skin looked like tortilla. It's right here.
Starting point is 00:03:22 You know, I'm right here, but I never see anything sexy, but I got for taco Tuesday. skin look like tortilla? I'm right here. I'm right here. I never see anything sexy. Thank God for Taco Tuesday. Taco Tuesday. Only day for tacos. I never see any naked shit at the gym.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Do you? Like sexy stuff? Yeah, me and Courtney went. This is before the quarantine. Me and Courtney worked out at Crunch Fitness and we looked over and this man was looking at both of us and he had a huge dong. He had took down his shorts and it unfurled. What? and we looked over and this man was looking at both of us and he had a huge dong. He had took down his shorts and it unfurled. What? And we both looked at it
Starting point is 00:03:52 and then up at him and then at each other. Not that he missed it. But wait, there's more. It was huge. You see this microphone right here? It was like that soft. It was enormous. And he was probably five, six. Did anything happen? Nothing Yes. It was like that soft. Whoa. It was enormous. And he was probably five, six.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Did anything happen? Nothing happened. Thank goodness, because that would tear you up. Destroy. That's a big microphone. With my teeny cunt. Oh, my little cunt. My tiny cunt.
Starting point is 00:04:19 The money spot. Yes. Well, I got to tell you, you picked the right time to visit Los Angeles because this is kind of the best time to live here with the smoke I mean the smoking air
Starting point is 00:04:30 the air is currently unlivable which means she just started smoking with her windows open I'm driving no she's driving with a cigarette
Starting point is 00:04:39 blowing it out the window yeah yeah no you guys you guys obviously didn't know each other before season 12 hell no no I didn't know this at guys obviously didn't know each other before season 12.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Hell no. No, I didn't know this at all. You don't claim each other now. Absolutely not. Okay, great. She stole my... Sorry to this man.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I would not know if he was walking down the street. We still know each other. Yes. Who is this woman? Me and this prostitute woman have known each other
Starting point is 00:05:01 an extremely long time. Oh my God. I'm sorry. I was literally just in the car when we were driving around. I was like, I remember when she crashed her smart car. Yes. And she was so proud when she got that little smart car. Yes. I crashed a smart car delivery
Starting point is 00:05:14 driving sub sandwiches. I believe it. It happened to me. Yeah. An old man with a fake leg ran a red light and hit me head on. It was fucked up. And luckily three cars stopped and we're like, we've been following him for like a half mile.
Starting point is 00:05:26 He's been swerving. We'll like vouch for you. So I totally got my car. You're a victim. And if you ever purchased a car, I got the type of insurance where if it's totaled, you get all your money back.
Starting point is 00:05:35 So I walked away with no car but I didn't owe anything, which thank God. Can I ask, was the sandwiches okay? The sandwich was fine but I was a delivery driver and I was so shook.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I remember calling the person and being like, I'm not going to be able to get your sandwich. Oh, no. She said, I'm covered in blood, but the sandwich is still in the bag. It was the Herbert and Gerberts on North and Farwell in Milwaukee. And I called my store manager and was like, I didn't get the delivery. I got in a crash. And he was like, did you get the delivery? Oh, my God. Not are you okay, but did the delivery I got in a crash and he was like did you get the delivery not are you okay but did the delivery
Starting point is 00:06:08 make it well cause they were like we'll make a new sandwich and run it to where it's gotta go that's service I mean but yeah you must be a little older than me because I turned 21 on my birthday which most people get older on their birthday I went to see you at La Cage and I was there to see Bibi Zahara
Starting point is 00:06:24 Bonet on my birthday. And that's that day when I had that little tiny chop wig with that pink ass lipstick. It was Nicki Minaj like pink Friday. It was even pre-pink Friday. It was probably that pink Friday. Because it was Nicki Minaj with the bob. And Jada was doing Nicki Minaj. And you're, I mean, you're skinny now.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Your waist and your pads, you just were. You said that as if she was fat before. No, her waist was like just stupid. Back in the days, it was like much more. She was skinnier. And she wore huge pads. Yeah. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:06:54 Well, no, it wasn't even pads. You know what it was. Remember, that was back in the days when I would like get the stock and then fill them up and stuff them with like pillow filler. You're kidding. Yeah. You're kidding. With loose filler?
Starting point is 00:07:04 Yes. I did the same thing. Cotton filler? That's it. Girl. Girl. It was the best shape in the universe. It was.
Starting point is 00:07:09 It was pillow stuffing. I've never even heard about this. It was polyfill pillow stuffing. And you just, every day you'd try to even it out. You just stuff it. And then you pull it out right. You haven't done that? Never in my life.
Starting point is 00:07:19 I've never even heard of it. Never seen it. But it's right. It's right. It's like the smoothest lines around the edge. But when it's wrong. it's so totally out. I was going to say, what if you kind of like lean on something? Does it shift?
Starting point is 00:07:29 Well, this is a thing. Well, that's what the girls' asses are doing now anyway. But it was literally like if you, some of the girls would pull it up and stuff it, and then they would just pull it down, and the next time you pull it back up, but it didn't, would get like bungee and it was like knots. Oh no. What about like the heat and moisture make it congeal or harden ever? No.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Okay. No. I want to try that. At the end of the night when it was heated up, it will kind of come out in one loaf. Yeah. Oh, a loaf. Just all together. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:03 And until you really figure out pads and unless you have some really broken in couch cushion, those are hard. Because when I first started, I'd be buying the green stuff from Michael's and it's so stiff. Absolutely. No deal. I bought the green foam, but then it turned out that was for stuffing flowers in. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Oh no. No. The styrofoam. Crunchy. Crunchy ass. No way. I'm doing this all the way wrong. That explains your runways on Drag Race.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Crunchy ass. Oh my God. Shit. I wore green foam on, I had my green ass on Drag Race. Yes. I had a green ass too. I did. Did you really?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Yeah. And when you have the green ass too, you have to wear so many sets of. Yeah. Because even if you get it smooth, the green shine stills. Yeah. Can't go to the green screen with that ass. But you have to like layer like the stockings. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Yes. Very that. Like you have to color correct. How many stockings do you wear now? Let me see. In my mind. I wear one, zero. Maybe like, you know, I wear like five, but then I wear like the transition tight.
Starting point is 00:09:03 So I like reverse it. Where like the toes are out in the front But then if you wear too many Then it's like Couldn't under your Toes do this The toes start to crunch Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:11 The pull back How many tights do you wear? I probably wear Two pair of tights And like three pantyhoses Okay Just because I'm a real woman
Starting point is 00:09:19 Say it again Two pairs of How many Two pair of tights And then three pantyhoses So pantyhoses So pantyhoses Little So pantyhoses, little thin things.
Starting point is 00:09:26 Three pairs of panties. I'm like, what? Little thin. Yeah, they're very thin. Those sheer, ultra sheer? Ultra sheer panty lines so they don't have that ugly control top.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yes. I hate that. Leave Canada's drag race alone. Wait, wait. And remember when we were doing drag, we would always go to Walmart and get those
Starting point is 00:09:45 Fucking tights where you could see like the line The control top And we layered them and it would be like A line here here here The Walmart drag was the good drag You would get the tights the control top legs tights The fingernails The kiss express nails
Starting point is 00:09:59 And then people would tell people She's just doing mall drag I'm like we did Walmart Dots Dots Of the wig store I would go to the wig store Get all my jewelry
Starting point is 00:10:16 Get the hoochie mama outfit from the back The bangles The wig that's only $35 That has three scraggly pieces of hair Straight bangs You remember the lady who worked at the hair store On North Avenue Do you guys remember? That's only $35. That has three scraggly pieces of hair. Straight bang. Straight bang. And then you also, you remember the lady who worked at the hair store on North Avenue.
Starting point is 00:10:30 Are you talking about Victoria's? Yes. Of course I do. And she was like, I'm so proud of you and Trixie. You know what she said to me once when I came in? I was in drag. I was, I don't ask me.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I was there in drag. And she goes, I was in, she goes, you know what you look like? You look like that Paul Ruth. Yes. She said I looked like the Paul Ruth. like? You look like that Paul Ruth. Yes. She said I looked like the Paul Ruth.
Starting point is 00:10:47 I love Paul Ruth. Paul Ruth. Paul Ruth. Big house. Paul Ruth's big house. Girl, and that store was lit though. And do you remember, I used to, it was very frugal. You get the wigs, the double stack wigs,
Starting point is 00:10:57 and then you get that shitty black lace catsuit with the open crotch. Oh my God. Leg avenue. From the lingerie. Yes, from the lingerie. Leg avenue. Leg avenue. And then you wear the black waist belt. Three my God. Leg Avenue? Yes, from the lingerie. Leg Avenue.
Starting point is 00:11:07 And then you wear the black waist belt. Three belts. If you need it. 40 belts, a bangle. Were you ever this bad, Katya? Absolutely. Up until two weeks ago. I do kind of want that ring back that you never gave me back.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Was it gold? Yes. Was it big? Yes. The confrontation. I think I do remember this ring. That ring. It was when we did the college I think I do remember this ring. That ring. It was we did the college show.
Starting point is 00:11:28 I do remember that ring. That was AKA you're not getting it. I said, I'm on television now. I will not be buying my own jewelry. Have a great day. She's picking her job. On today's episode of Drag Queen Serengeti. I know that Drag Queen Serengeti. Serengeti. I know that Serengeti. Yes. I know that Drag Queen Serengeti.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Serengeti. I know that Serengeti. We have the Jada Swallowtooth. Jada Swallowtooth. Oh my God. I've never swallowed in my life. It is crazy because we, I mean, I remember being really young and being like, me and Jada would be like, you should be on Drag Race.
Starting point is 00:12:02 No, you should. Oh my God. And then we both won. But then we auditioned at the same time. I can't even. Yeah, this is a whole other pod. I'm going to ask you guys to leave. It's time for the winner's circle.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Bye, everyone. We're leaving. The winner's circle. And you know what? We love James Mansfield, but she is the other third queen from Milwaukee. So me and Jada won. And then James Mansfield was first out. James called me after from Milwaukee so me and Jada won and then James Mansfield was first out
Starting point is 00:12:26 James called me after Drag Race and I go how'd it go and she goes remind me again which cut is the deepest oh no
Starting point is 00:12:33 and then of all the songs to go home on she went home with Sinking the Love Shack which plays in every store all day every day all the time every mall
Starting point is 00:12:42 yeah where you can buy a new sweater we are selling sweaters right now beautiful sweaters argyle sweaters gorgeous every day. All the time. Every mall. Where you can buy a new sweater. We are selling sweaters right now. Beautiful sweaters. Argyle sweaters. Gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:12:49 And we even have some made from genuine yak hair. Genuine? If you're interested in that kind of thing. Yak hair? Ew.
Starting point is 00:13:00 You need to be on the intercom of every department store. Please. I'm chiming in every once in a while. Hi. We have a dead woman in homeless.
Starting point is 00:13:05 We have a woman stealing things in lingerie. It's me. Her legs are covered in blood. Have a lovely day. I will say this. Did you guys ever, can I ask, did you guys ever steal from the beauty stores? Because I never did. But when you're a drag queen, they watch you.
Starting point is 00:13:20 I never did, but they watch you like you steal. I think they watch you. Well, I'm used to that. Anyway, so. Being a woman of color. I never did but they watch you like you steal I think they watch well I'm used to that anyway so being a woman of color being a beautiful woman of color shop I was going to say shoplifting in the store
Starting point is 00:13:33 that's part of the problem is you walk in shoplifting in the store they always seem to watch me while I stole things that's the problem you walk in and say I'm here to shoplift it's like if you're going to think that I'm stealing now I'm going to start taking things. You want to profile me? I'm going to rob you.
Starting point is 00:13:49 You know what? I wasn't going to take anything until you made me feel like I was going to take something. And now I'm taking everything. All of it. I'm going to take four of these dollar rings and stuff them in my purse. Yes. I think drag queens do get watched at stores. And maybe it's because, for good reason, you both gave me a look when I said, have you
Starting point is 00:14:03 ever stolen from the store? Well, I ran the store and robbed it That's right She ran a costume store and stole But I had a very fierce policy when it came to shoplifting I will only steal from places I work at Okay That was after being wrongly accused
Starting point is 00:14:17 Which I really blame the system Because I was wrongly accused and terminated And said I'm going to get back When she comes over here I make her use a clear bag like Macy's. In a full body, first ever way out. I get the full pat down, which I love.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Do you ever work anywhere we had a clear bag? It's very dehumanizing. I worked at JCPenney. Did they make you have the clear bag? I get why they do it, so that they don't have to accuse you of stealing because they can see in your bag. It's like Privacy please I've never worked anywhere that was nice enough to do that kind of policy
Starting point is 00:14:50 There's nothing to steal The best job I ever had was janitor at a hospital Oh my god Wait wait wait Get out of town I did steal some stuff from people What did you take? I did steal gloves stuff from people. Key bags? What did you take? Boxes of gloves.
Starting point is 00:15:06 I did steal gloves. I stole the warm socks that they keep in the little drawers. The hospital socks. She stole them because they were warm by the time they get home. They're ice cold. You are a freak. Like you can't warm your own socks. Absolutely not. Do you ever steal a bedpan?
Starting point is 00:15:21 No, but I should have. You take a kid. See, I don't want to go here stupid those clear back uh i used when i worked at the mac counter he used to come sometimes yeah trixie is the only person well now somebody else did my makeup um but she was literally the only person who ever did my makeup ever in my life but it was as a boy. Yes. She came in as a boy. I think I remember it. Studio finish concealer. That's how much I remember it. And your skin looked
Starting point is 00:15:49 the same today as it did then. Thank you. Oh my god. That's from across the room. In the dark. I didn't mention work completely in the dark. With her eyes closed. I gotta ask. I'm sure you guys are getting sick of hearing about it but we were recapping 12 today and we were like
Starting point is 00:16:04 they really did that while nobody could go anywhere in the world. I'm sure you guys are getting sick of hearing about it, but we were recapping 12 today, and we were like, they really did that while nobody could go anywhere in the world. Yep. I mean, what a fucking gag. I can't imagine you guys. I think, you know what, I feel like the craziest thing I think is like,
Starting point is 00:16:18 one, it was good because, you know, you could be out on the road, and then you have a bad day, and you're like, okay, all these people are here, and they can be like, what the fuck, this bitch is a mess. You know what I mean? But we didn't have to deal with that.
Starting point is 00:16:36 But then also a lot of us, you know, like traveling on the road is the way that people can get to know you outside of what they see on the competition. And then you miss all of that. So it was a little weird. I mean, can I ask, I don't want to ask financials, but like i'm assuming most of your gigs came digitally or like prides or i've done a lot of online gigs especially some college gigs some pride gigs just all kinds of gigs online and i've never been like a technologically sound we had her on the pit stop and she had just moved here and you didn't even have furniture. She was sitting on the ground. I was sitting on the ground. Her ass shifted. Running my laptop.
Starting point is 00:17:11 I was on a pillow. She was sitting on her nut like it was an exercise ball. Big enough. It was running my laptop off of my hot spot on my phone. Shut the fuck up. That's why I look so grainy on the video. Can you say thank you T-Mobile right now?
Starting point is 00:17:30 Thank you. Thank you T-Mobile. Thank you T-Mobile for your excellent service. It does well because I ran laptop. I ran my PlayStation. Gaming with other people off of my hotspot on my phone. She illegally watched Canada's Drag Race. And did.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Fire stick. You better work Canada's Drag Race. Amazing. Fire stick. You better work. That was the nice thing about Pit Stop is you don't have to worry about where to find it because they just put it in front of you. Absolutely. It's everywhere. Because when you don't have cable, it's kind of hard to find drag race unless you just buy it on iTunes. But even then, you're watching it the day after. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Do you guys have cable? You can buy it on YouTube. I do. It just got turned on because I paid the bill. I have cable, but I buy it on YouTube. I do. It just got turned on because I paid the bill. I have cable, but I never, ever watch it. Like, I feel like now I just have not been in the mood for TV. I think because we've been in the house and we had no choice but to watch TV. Absolutely. I don't give a fuck about none of this. Like, I don't want to watch, like, in some of the shows, it's like you realize how repetitive some stuff on TV is when you have no choice but to watch it all day.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Yeah. We I don't watch a lot of TV and we only see things for like the Netflix show. Yeah. If that shouldn't exist I wouldn't see any of that. Yeah. No. Absolutely. Damn.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah. We don't watch I don't watch a lot of TV. I don't even know why I pay for cable because when I do watch TV it's streaming services like Hulu or Netflix. Yeah. Every fucking cable outlet has an OnlyFans now. It's like you know what I mean? You gotta pay for like HBO Max and then da-da-da-da-da-da
Starting point is 00:18:48 and then you realize it's like, wait a minute, I'm subscribing to like 1400 OnlyFans. We almost had a heart attack. I was like, I don't see it. Where? Where is it? Do you subscribe to OnlyFans?
Starting point is 00:18:58 No. Oh. I'm too poor. I can't afford it. You should start your own. Ain't nobody gonna pay for that. Excuse me? Sure they will.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Absolutely they will. Nothing will bust it open, girl. Oh, well, I mean, what else do they want on there, Ian? Shea Coulee does fashion videos. Fashion videos. What would I do? Personality videos?
Starting point is 00:19:13 Whistle. Just whistle. Topless. Topless hours. Well, then, how are you going to make something? We're going to be right back. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store,
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Starting point is 00:20:57 And we are back. Wait, and so I have to give a shout out to one of the best entrances in Drag Race Herstory. Just insane. And I don't even remember doing it that long. It was so long. And I mean, I was like, okay, this could either be like real time or editing or whatever. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:21:18 I think it was real time though. It was so fantastic. It just went on forever. It was so funny. Crazy. went on forever. It was so funny. Crazy. That entrance matters. You know, I just sit at home when I'm doing nothing and just make as weird, fucked up noises as I can think of doing
Starting point is 00:21:35 just to know that I can do it. It's like, it's called talking. Do you live alone? Do you live alone? I do live alone. When I started living alone, I'm never here silent. I'm talking. I'm doing voices.. Oh my God. I'm talking. I'm doing voices.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I'm doing accents. I'm making sounds. If I hear something, if I hear something, I paired it to myself for days. I don't know why. It's a narrative. It's a story.
Starting point is 00:21:53 It's a journey. And for no one. We're here. Yeah. And for no one. Yeah. You don't live alone. I don't live alone.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Oh, you don't. But she stands alone. You do. Okay. You live with G? Yeah. Were you guys public about that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:06 How long have you guys been together now? Now it's been 13 years in November. Wait, what now? Yeah. Her boyfriend, 13 years. How does it feel? We still have a relationship as old as I am. That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:22:22 Are you her son? What could you imagine? Are you her son? What could you imagine? Are you her daughter? The only plot twist Now without my daughter The Jada S. Hall story You're only involved In the beautiful
Starting point is 00:22:31 Do you find family secrets? Yeah Maury Popich Watch out I mean we've been together For a really long time And it's like It's good Because you know like
Starting point is 00:22:37 That weird thing Where it's like Hard for drag queens To find love Yeah we were just Talking about it And I'm like I literally did not do drag
Starting point is 00:22:44 Until I met him And he was like This would be good for you And I was like I I literally did not do drag until I met him. And he was like, this will be good for you. And I was like, I don't know. That's not something I want to do. He was right. He was well,
Starting point is 00:22:51 look at you now for once in his fucking life. Wow. Well, not to mention he's sort of a, um, he's more than a boyfriend. He's sort of your assistant. He does hair.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Creative partner. Even like, you know, pre drag race, he would be backstage at the gigs helping all the girls. It's like a smorgasbord of help. He's a helpful person.
Starting point is 00:23:11 He's a smorgasbord of help. It's not like it's a fucking help. A help sandwich. By the way, we're making it sound like Jada couldn't do a thing without him. We're like, thank God he's there to paint you. Remember that was a rumor that We're like, thank God he's there to paint you. Remember that was a rumor that people were like,
Starting point is 00:23:27 she never comes, she never does her makeup at the shows because she doesn't know how to do makeup and her boyfriend is doing her makeup at the house.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Well, you sure did prove them all wrong on Drag Race. You're like, I wish. The gag is, it's he was there doing it. I'm like, I was like, please, I need to tend one.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. He's in the bathroom with the brushes. I need some glue on that eye. I need to 10-1 please please please please he's in the bathroom with the brushes I need some glue around that eye I just come back fully painted leave the room and share come back and share
Starting point is 00:23:53 I have to shit really fast I'll be right back I'm just taking my makeup with me and I just try to do as much as I can while I'm in there oh my god we had a girl on 7 who was it was maybe her first times getting in drag by herself. I'm right here. Miss Fame. It was probably her first times
Starting point is 00:24:09 doing her own corset. Yeah. It was getting all the things. I remember on All Stars with Alyssa, it was like when, because we had been working once you had been used to having an assistant and then you go back on Drag race and you got no help.
Starting point is 00:24:26 And it's like, can somebody get the shoe? No, no, nobody can get the shoe. Actually. No, no,
Starting point is 00:24:32 we can't get yourself. Yeah. Yeah. But it's jarring. I know. Cause I was never that helpful period. People would be like, can you just come help me with this sewing machine?
Starting point is 00:24:41 I'd be like, yeah, yeah. So you take, you build a time machine. You go back in time. You take some sewing classes. And you wouldn't be in this position.
Starting point is 00:24:48 And then you walk away. And then I walk away. Do something with yourself. Or no, I tried to help. That's one time I tried to help Shangela. And she tried to make a tube dress. And she didn't know to use stretch fabric. So she had me show her how to sew a straight line.
Starting point is 00:25:01 And then at the end, she was like, it doesn't fit. I'm like, that was a dress you were making it was like sequin dot fabric no stretch I was like I thought you were making like a trapper keeper that was a tiny dress if she can't fit in I was like it's not happening girl
Starting point is 00:25:17 it's just not it your ball thing was fantastic well everything that I wore on the show besides the yellow look and the black wedding dress, I made everything. You made everything? Yeah. Everything.
Starting point is 00:25:33 You used to make everything. Going into drag races, I'm a really poor bitch. And I want to look okay. Yeah. And nobody can do things for me. I have no money. So I'm going to have to figure it out. Well, locally, like doing drag in our town, Milwaukee is, I think, the 16th biggest city
Starting point is 00:25:46 in the US. It's not huge. If you want nice drag, you have to get it. Because we don't have wig stylists in Milwaukee. And it wasn't like we were ever paid enough budget to be like, and a drag investment. It was like, literally, you would do drag, and you would get done, and you were like, let's go to Taco Bell. God,
Starting point is 00:26:02 we need to do another show tomorrow, because I have no money now. And if you could stack a Hamburger Mary's gig with an appearance at a club, you were rich. let's go to Taco Bell. God, we need to do another show tomorrow because I have no money now. And if you could stack a Hamburger Mary's gig with an appearance at a club, you were rich. Oh my God. And then, but that's only if the club
Starting point is 00:26:11 would be like, you're not doing another gig somewhere else. Oh yeah. Yeah. The exclusive gig. Oh no. The exclusive gig for $40.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Right. They want exclusivity and loyalty and then for nothing. Yeah. For nothing. And new costumes. I'd be like, you just did that number. I'd be like, well, yeah, I made $4.
Starting point is 00:26:30 I'm doing it again. You're going to see it tomorrow. I hope you like it. And I might learn the words tomorrow. You never know. I went into drag race poor as fuck in debt. You made a lot of your stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:44 I made a lot of my stuff. I made a lot of my stuff. Yeah, because I didn't, I get no money. Heidi, did you make your stuff? It's hard. Me and my two drag sisters
Starting point is 00:26:49 made most of my stuff. It was very stressful because actually I was supposed to go compete at nationals for a pageant the same week that we left for drag race.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Miss what? Entertainer of the year. She chose drag race over a pageant? Are you stupid? You could have been entertainer of the year. And that race over a pageant are you stupid you could have been entertainer of the year and that's coming
Starting point is 00:27:08 to Jada and the thing is I got approved for the show like the week after I spent all my money for nationals so then I was poor
Starting point is 00:27:14 when they gave me the call so I was like oh so now I have to scrounge up what I can so I can go do this thing now
Starting point is 00:27:21 I think most people are making their drag I mean not to call her out thank god the theme for the pageant was Drag Race. And for gown, she was wearing
Starting point is 00:27:29 a black wedding gown. Actually, actually it was the theme I was going to do was like the sparkle was going to be my pageant gown. I'm like, ooh,
Starting point is 00:27:38 was not going to wear the ramen wig. I was not going to wear the ramen noodle wig. I was going to say choices are being made. Cornetia. Choices are being made.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Cornetia. Cornetia. Remember are being made Cornatia Cornatia Cornatia remember Shangela's Cornatia that green wig I sure do that micro braids the green micro braids with popcorn glued in it
Starting point is 00:27:51 that was cute my friend just sent me a text the full Cornatia moon bestows peace and blessings to you I think most people are making
Starting point is 00:27:59 I mean on season 7 I had never even seen drag like Miss Fames no absolutely not all designer I still have wigs let's be honest at the time as nice as RuPaul's yeah On season seven, I had never even seen drag like Miss Faves. No. Absolutely not. All designer. I still have it. Wigs, let's be honest, at the time, as nice as Repulse.
Starting point is 00:28:09 Yeah. And better. Perfect hairlines. Sometimes better. Better. Better hairlines. Yeah. Custom.
Starting point is 00:28:15 I'd never seen drag like that. A custom hairline. I think that changed drag race a lot because then it was like, we can't just go in here with anything that we brought now. And Violet. Seven was a turning point. It was. After that, you had Kim,
Starting point is 00:28:33 Naomi, people just like, oh, this is drag now. Looks and fashion. Expensive. Can we go back to season two? You could get something from Seal. It's crazy though now because all of those fucking when you leave to do the show
Starting point is 00:28:50 we are literally just regular ass girls working regular gigs. You cannot expect me to show up with a $100,000 wardrobe for a competition. I think that there should be a limit or something. A budget. It's like you did the Yankee for a competition. I think that there should be a limit or something. There should be a budget
Starting point is 00:29:06 or you can't. It's like you did the Yankee swap at Christmas. $20 gift limit. They're inspecting lace. They're like, is that Swiss lace? Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Get out of here. Get out of here. Get out of here. just have half or have half of the challenges be design challenges design challenges yeah you know
Starting point is 00:29:29 I think I would go home I would really would really like more like design challenges I really do think that would be really our season was rare
Starting point is 00:29:36 because we only had one design challenge just one just one same with all stars we only had one design challenge I think our season
Starting point is 00:29:44 is one of the only seasons to ever have just one. Girl 7 had like 20, didn't it? 3 had like 20. 3 had the most. It was Project Runway. It was the season of Project Runway. I remember being rejected. That was the first time I applied for season 3 and I got a call back
Starting point is 00:29:59 and then I was like, I'm on it. You were in the casting special. I was like, I'm on it. I didn't tell anybody, but I was like, I'm on it. I'm on it. You were in the casting special. I was like, I was like, I'm on it. And I started to get it. Like, I didn't tell anybody, but I was like, I'm on it. You started to feel the fans. Yeah. This is great. And then, and then I didn't receive a second call.
Starting point is 00:30:11 It would almost kill myself. And then, but then I saw the season. I was like, thank fucking God. I would have jumped out the window. You know who else thought she was on it? Who? Thorgy thought she was on it. Cause she was on that casting special too.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Oh really? And she was like, I'm on Drag Race. Yeah. And then never heard back. And she was like, oh. Devastated. When the cast came out, I was like, oh, I guess I'm not on it? Who? Thorgy thought she was on it because she was on that casting special too. Oh really? And she was like I'm on Drag Race. Yeah. And then never heard back and she was like oh. Devastated when the cast came out I was like oh I guess I'm not on it. Yeah. But I would never. Months later. Episode one. Coming this summer RuPaul's Drag Race season three. Huh.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Interesting. Yeah. Wow let me just call that number back. Hey I'm not seeing myself in the ad. What's going on right now? Where should I tell my Uber driver to go? I have all my drawings. So I'm in LA with a bunch of things. I'm just walking.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I'm just in drag walking. How would you have fared on season three? I think I would have did really good. I feel like I'm very good at making things when I'm under pressure. That's what I think I usually will do the best. But this has to be like. And I like to sew stuff like really fast versus like taking my time. But is this 2011 Jada?
Starting point is 00:31:14 2011 Jada was like. Okay. This hooker was gorgeous. But I used to like go to the beauty supply store, right? Buy a pair of leggings. Buy another pair of leggings. And make a tattoo. And make a hole in the crotch and pull them up in your arms through the legs. Did you ever do that?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out. You sew the waist together and you cut a hole in the crotch and it's a catsuit. I need to see that to believe it. It works if you use a busy print. Oh my god, yes. You gotta go to the beauty supply store and get all
Starting point is 00:31:44 the crazy print leggings Okay That's what Like that literally Was my Nicki Minaj fit All of that With a waist belt A cheap waist belt
Starting point is 00:31:51 Oh cover up the seam Yeah yeah yeah Or you corset over it Oh right sure of course Yep yep yep And then you poke that hole And then every time You put it on though
Starting point is 00:31:58 You have to crawl in Through the head hole Yeah Cause there's no zipper Oh so it's just a Scoop neck or something Okay Yeah
Starting point is 00:32:03 It's a gig With a little jewelry on Yeah and then sometimes I would buy a third pair And then I would cut because there's no zipper. Oh, so it's just a scoop neck or something? Okay. It's a gig. A little jewelry on. And then sometimes I would buy a third pair and then I would cut one of the legs off and attach it here like a hood so then it can go over your face. Yeah. Like a freak.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Oh, wow. You know, this is Milwaukee, classic Milwaukee drag. Classic. Okay. These are things that people in the world would know if they would have just casted us a little bit sooner.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Yeah. Or we could have changed the world, but whatever. I think you would have done fine on early seasons, though. You had your shit together really early. I think the main thing is I was not really comfortable talking. I would talk to you, but I wouldn't ever really have conversations with a lot of people. I didn't feel comfortable around people like that. We were a good 10 years younger
Starting point is 00:32:45 than any other working drag queen, probably. Milwaukee's a very- And you know, people- Experience. Sometimes Trixie will say, but some people were so nasty to Trixie. And I thought it was just ridiculous. Really?
Starting point is 00:32:55 It was for a while. We would be in the dressing room, we were just talking, and she looks really terrible right now. And this is just like a conversation. And we're in the mirror like, we're looking in the mirror like, did she just say i didn't look good but also did you no i thought this i love that i love that you're like that's awful but did you
Starting point is 00:33:14 were you episode one hiding closet season 12 bad well if you look at season seven though didn't you all look at me like, who's this idiot? I was like, I thought, who is this fashion woman? Thank you. Who is this runway model?
Starting point is 00:33:30 Well, I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't think I was a comedy person. I was like, I'm doing modeling. Absolutely. Because she did, she did so much modeling too.
Starting point is 00:33:39 And then you look over there. Like, really, did you not? She was literally like, always in fashion shows. What kind of modeling are we talking about? Original OnlyFans stuff. That's what it be. OG OnlyFans. I was just, I was as weird looking as I was now, but with none of the actual intent or knowledge. She would go bald and just like wear just like a little piece of hair.
Starting point is 00:33:58 So you were like, yeah. So you walked in on seven and was like, I am the fashion queen. And then looked over at Kachi and was like, no. No, I was like, I'm a makeup artist and I'm a fashion model. And we both look at them like, we're looking at her like.
Starting point is 00:34:11 And she was a woman. I thought it was a woman. She was going to Entertainer of the Year 2 when she was the fashion. Yeah. It was crazy. But you know what?
Starting point is 00:34:18 Thinking back though, you know when you're young in drag and everything's an insult. So somebody would be like, if you're going to do your cheeks that dark, maybe do your forehead a little darker and I would go home like she fucking came for me
Starting point is 00:34:28 I'm like yeah everything is a read but people are just trying to help you you might want to contour your nose what the fuck what the fuck are you and then you go home looking in the mirror you don't get my drag it's older queens being like have you tried wearing shoes and you're like you're coming for me how dare you
Starting point is 00:34:43 because you can't be told anything don't stifle my art damn it but no literally I'd like to tell you like literally Trixie was like
Starting point is 00:34:49 I'm like wherever I remember when she was like we both auditioned that's when we did the fashion show like at the haunted Fister
Starting point is 00:34:55 the what the what it's like this haunted ass hotel in Milwaukee and people always stay there because it's haunted
Starting point is 00:35:00 but we did a fashion show there and then like that was like right when we were like I'm like my tape I submitted it she was like i submitted mine it's like yeah you're gonna get a show she's like no trust me you'll get on before me i'm like no i'm like
Starting point is 00:35:10 because the thing was like when we did drag like what we would do in milwaukee more people would be like we love jada because we get it because that was different than you were you were the perfect type of drag though because you were pageant how you did your drag was very like 21 year olds loved it and all the pageant girls who booked shows loved your drag normally hate the young girl and she was like well you get on updos and gowns and she was like well you get on the show because of that and I was like that is so weird I'm like I think you will get on the show because your drag is not
Starting point is 00:35:51 I was like I hope as soon as you get on the show you will take off and the world will like be able to see you and then it will be completely different because in Milwaukee it was like people had like such a defined idea of what drag was like you had even for like
Starting point is 00:36:06 Trixie or me either you did pageants even if you didn't like it you had to or they would not give you bookings that's a lot of places at home
Starting point is 00:36:13 it's a lot of cultures where when you do the pageants to prove to sort of the bookers that you aren't booger that is the biggest way and they still
Starting point is 00:36:22 kind of won the pageant she's not kidding and they begrudgingly give you your $40 prelim win and they still kind of won the pageant she's not kidding and they begrudgingly give you your $40 prelim fee and they dethrone you if you skip
Starting point is 00:36:30 your $30 booking absolutely girl they take your crown away if you don't come to your $10 booking entry fee $100 prize
Starting point is 00:36:37 $125 girl entry fee $100 which is hard to come up with and then a $1000 package booking fee $100, which is hard to come up with. Yes, it is. And then a $1,000 package.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Booking fee $125. Then they give you the price of the crown. I'm like, why is that my problem? You did miss Gate, Wisconsin. Yeah. And you won. No. I remember the year.
Starting point is 00:36:58 So you're not a state title holder? I think I should have won that year. So you're not a state title holder, J.D? I mean, I am. You know, I am, but you were there that year at the pageant. I was there. And when we say gooped at the pageant, Jada looked perfect. And you did that song, Like an Animal.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Yes, Animal Talent. And she did African dance with a big, huge hair on with backup dancers. And it was flawless. And they didn't give you nothing. And then you know what they gave me? They were like, you seem upset. Why are you packing your things? You should stay on the stage a little bit longer. I'm like, I stayed and took the photos
Starting point is 00:37:33 you asked me for. Now can I just pack my things? They're like, but why? I was like, why are you trying to like, y'all already got me. Why are y'all trying to make me feel so bad right now? They were trying to get you to get as a girl you know how they say it's her year sometimes it's hard with pageants
Starting point is 00:37:50 because you're competing but when people say things like it's her year it's like well how fair is this it's not at all no they're not going to do that it's nobody's year it's my year until then they're like first alternate
Starting point is 00:38:03 how political is the pageant system? And are they different? Like is the continental system from the gay American system? I think the pageants are all different, but I like to believe in a trusting system. Like at least for like national pageants. I mean, I would never like even go to or support a pageant I didn't think was fair. You know what I mean? Right.
Starting point is 00:38:23 But I think also like people give pageant like pageants like shit and pageants have like some of the most creative like like wild ideas even when people see some stuff off Drag Race they're like oh my god I'm like you do know that they stole that from a video of a pageant girl 100% some of the
Starting point is 00:38:39 runway looks that people gag for like all of that stuff when I see a girl do a jump split in a Wonder Woman on Drag Race, I'm going to turn off the TV. If she does not drop from the rafters, look up there. Look up there. Look up there.
Starting point is 00:38:56 We're going to take another break. What's better than Tim's Rewards Points? Two times the Tim's Rewards Points. Use Scan and Pay on the Tim's app from now until September 30th to earn two times the points. Pay, earn, and redeem, all with one scan. Only on the Tim's app. Canada only, limited time only. Terms apply. See app for details.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Oh boy, I should have read the best before date on this milk. Since I'm with Fizz, my unused data transfers to the next month automatically. I forgot things could expire. For monthly data that transfers to the next month, switch to Fizz. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. This episode is brought to you by Mazda. When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why our SUVs won more 2024 IIHS top safety picks than any other
Starting point is 00:39:47 brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazda different at Mazda.ca. Not if a dick. And we're back. I hope that's how we come back. Not if a dick. Not if a dick.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Get that thing away from my face, Trixie. Back to pageants, too. I always tell people, like, whether or not you like pageants, the pageant is going to be the shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry. I told you not to have that milk.
Starting point is 00:40:17 The pageant is going to be the best drag show you'll see all year. Yeah. You'll see all year. Yeah. And also I feel like on drag race for people who are casual fans of drag or just drag race fans that the, this pageant quote unquote pageant thing gets oversimplified into generalized on drag race. Yeah. Because the pageant world is enormously diverse and very complicated and like interesting
Starting point is 00:40:37 ways. Like, and there's multiple systems, different systems with different roles. And also drag Queens get pigeonholed before they even open their mouth on Drag Race. Absolutely. So you're a pageant queen, but can you be funny? And it's like, well, where does that come from? I don't get it. It's so strange.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Because no one clocked me as a pageant girl on the show. I was like, oh, I probably have the most crones. Because they were busy trying to figure out what was going on. Did you say the most crones? She had the most crones. Cones. Cones.
Starting point is 00:41:07 It happens a lot, I think. Like, if you look at somebody like a Kennedy Davenport, you're like, how could you ever think that a pageant person can't be hilarious? Yeah. Because that hooker wins every comedy challenge. Ginger Minj is also a pageant. She goes to the pageant scene, too. Most people do comedy pageants.
Starting point is 00:41:20 Absolutely. Yes. Have you ever done a comedy pageant? No, I've never. Honestly, before the show, I've never. Honestly, before the show, I've never done anything comedy adjacent. I was probably... You thought you were a model and not a woman. I thought I was the full woman. The only pageant queen.
Starting point is 00:41:33 I was the queen that was in North Carolina doing, I wouldn't say do all the pageants, but the girls knew which pageants I was going to do and they would not go do that one. How was that, y' that. All two of them. And we'll be spelling delusion. Delusion.
Starting point is 00:41:50 This episode is brought to you by... This episode is brought to you by delusion. Delusion. You're out of your fucking mind. She was the only one in Ramsur, North Carolina. The only Ramsurian.
Starting point is 00:42:03 She said, when I went to the pageant, the other three and a half girls knew not to show up. It was so funny. I know this one girl from back home. This one girl from back home, she always does pageants and she always wins because no one shows up and then I never get that lucky.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I always show up and that's when eight other bitches want to be at the pageant too. I'm like, why can't I never just have a walk in the park? That does happen, especially in the club system. You just might be the only competitor and just win. And then the pageant happens. They do the pageant anyway, though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:33 You gotta walk the category. The worst part is the girls who get like a really big head when they're like, I'm going to Miss Wisconsin. I'm going to do the pageant. And you're like, okay. And then you're like, you won a prelim with nobody there. That's like my friend. You're going to be a problem when you get, yeah. You get to do the pageant. And you're like, okay. And you're like, you won a prelim with nobody there. That's like my friend. You get to be a contestant.
Starting point is 00:42:48 You get to do the full thing. Oh, you do. What if you still lose? You have to. Well, some do that, though. Some do that. It could happen. Some systems have it where you have to score a certain amount of points or you still lose.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Because I could imagine. Damn. I would cry myself to sleep that night and then wake up and keep crying. It's like, here's a box of shit. You still lost. You still lost. Entry fee? Entry fees are ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:43:16 They are very high. Almost as much as you would win if you win. Yeah, and pageant systems are a business. So you also win. The commitments are huge. You basically have to do whatever those promoters ask you to do pageant systems are a business. So you also win, the commitments are huge. You basically have to do whatever those promoters ask you to do for free
Starting point is 00:43:28 for a year. You gotta cut those ribbons at the supermarket. You gotta kiss those babies. But you know, if it's 2011 and you're Aurora Sexton Miss Entertainment of the Year
Starting point is 00:43:37 and you're touring the country and the booking fee is probably a couple hundred, which is better than $40 at the hometown game. And also you get to go travel travel travel and then people
Starting point is 00:43:49 who love pageants I mean I feel like pageants and like drag race have a lot in common especially like the way that the fan base would be because people
Starting point is 00:43:56 you go to a pageant and you would make so much money and tips that it's ridiculous ridiculous that's true before the show
Starting point is 00:44:03 pageants are where I got the most of my money from. Yeah. It just was. I don't know what you were competing. You were just taking the crowd.
Starting point is 00:44:12 She was on the crowd with a bucket saying this is for the girl. This is for her. I promise. They cannot be tipped during the pageant. So put it in my pocket.
Starting point is 00:44:21 And I will give it to them. Not that she's like robbing entertainers during Corona time. She's like, you can't touch the entertainer. You have to put the money in the pocket
Starting point is 00:44:27 and she's like, out the back door. She's operating digital drag shows and everyone's Venmo is Heidi in Closet. I'm going to split it. She's like,
Starting point is 00:44:37 it's just less complicated to me and I'll give you your tips and it's like $3. Like, what the fuck is this? I'm splitting it even. I swear.
Starting point is 00:44:43 This is all we made. Have you guys done some of the digital? Yeah, I've done a couple. Can I just ask? I have to ask. Hard. It was weird to win Drag Race, period. Was it weird winning Drag Race in your living room? Yes. And closing your computer and laying down in bed? It was so weird.
Starting point is 00:45:03 Today's feature project. Delusion. Delusion. You lost your fucking today's feature project delusion delusion you lost your fucking mind no we're running a two for three sale on delusion
Starting point is 00:45:12 I could have sworn I wore a galaxy gown to the finale oh my god no I think it was someone else and your cinch
Starting point is 00:45:19 was so flawless I actually had a wave yeah it was amazing I don't remember that the mask just the mask right wait wait wait I actually had a wave Yeah it was amazing I don't remember that The mask Just the mask right Wait wait wait Wait wait wait
Starting point is 00:45:28 The mask RuPaul In the mask of Zorro Yeah What in the I don't know I mean I don't think Anybody knows
Starting point is 00:45:35 I don't know It's like you know When Netflix releases The next few episodes Of Unsolved Mysteries We will probably find out But as of right now, there's no way of telling.
Starting point is 00:45:46 The jury's still like you. I'm still, I'm still haunted by it. When I, when we watched it, I was like, oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I'm just assuming she may be, I mean, I'm just speculating. She likes to look her best and maybe she had a skin treatment or I don't know. I think, I think like the crazy thing
Starting point is 00:46:00 is probably like no makeup and she probably wanted to be like in drag and like have that done. Like if I can't get that but with quarantine it was just like you can't but her men's clothing
Starting point is 00:46:09 is so fabulous pull out any of those suits I mean I know so strange I love buying Klein, Epstein and Parker exactly
Starting point is 00:46:15 I love suits are you trying to get an endorsement as try wow as try as try as try
Starting point is 00:46:23 what was your favorite what was your favorite from What was your favorite? What from the season are you most proud of? Challenge-wise or runway-wise or whatever? Sending Me Home. Oh, my God. What was the song? Are you triggered when you hear it?
Starting point is 00:46:35 1999 by Prince. Wow. Humps me to this day. I love that. You know, you're lucky because Twisted Fate doesn't come up much. Never. Never. Never hear it in my life.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Mine's everywhere like I go to the bar it's playing I go to the store it's playing I go to the gas station it's playing playlist is playing
Starting point is 00:46:51 yeah like I think like I was like that day I was like oh my god I know I'm going and also
Starting point is 00:46:57 I had to pee so bad so bad and they would not let me pee and then the worst part was that I was going out to do a horrible skit about really peeing on myself at a pageant and I would have let me pee and the worst part was that I was going out to do a horrible skit about really peeing on myself at a pageant and I would have pissed on myself in the audience waiting to go on stage
Starting point is 00:47:10 to tell a story about peeing on myself how ironic that's a little too on the nose but I had to go to Rue's bathroom like the one that all the judges use it had like poopery in there please tell me you walked in and she was in there powdering her nose
Starting point is 00:47:24 what the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here, you fucking loser. And I'm like, no, she could do a mad dance. And I'm like, hey girl, I didn't know you were in there. Can I ask, had she flushed? Yeah. Was it clean? Was she letting it mellow?
Starting point is 00:47:38 It was flushed, but the water was like a sheer citrine. Citrine. The water was sample of green. The water was Periol. Could you imagine? After you flush, fill it with this water bottle. You do hold your pee so long on Drag Race. Sometimes you're like, when I get to that bathroom, I know it's blood coming out.
Starting point is 00:47:59 You just feel like your guts will explode and you will die on the stage. I remember I couldn't get my nails off quick enough to like claw my pantyhose. You're actually afraid you're going to pee your pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, this is going to happen. Because the closer you get to the toilet, your body's just like incoming. I'd always have a PA help me with the tights. I'm like, look, don't look.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Just start pulling down and I can take the rest. Oh my God. Just pull it a little bit and I can go. But I never peed because I couldn't put it back on. Like if I took it You had to put the dick back on That's Oh
Starting point is 00:48:27 It's a strap on I had to put it back on Strap on I had to cover my genie cunt The little cunt The strapper The strapper Stupid
Starting point is 00:48:36 Oh my god So you won in your damn living room Yeah I mean I was like We won in the living room And like When you watched like That reaction video
Starting point is 00:48:42 We actually watched it Like separately And they told my boyfriend They were like he can't be in there watching it on his phone or something because no because I'm like I don't want to know like in case like if if the phone would go faster and they announced that on the phone faster than what we watched on the the show when we watched all together he would have been like oh my god you won or like got excited and I would have knew but then I knew before him so we were completely prepared that he would know before me and all of a sudden like like scream and he came out the corner like
Starting point is 00:49:11 did you guys feel weird too i saw like um because you know we've done a lot of stuff remotely and it's just drag remotely is not magical it's so hard to feel it. You're just like, I'm in my house. The energy from the audience is not there. I feed off of that. The fact that you're not in uncomfortable shoes on your feet. I feel like I deserve some energy from the crowd. I think you do too.
Starting point is 00:49:37 I crave it. I yearn it. Not you pulling your shirt closed like it's a necklace day. It's a V-shirt and a neck shirt and she's pinning it closed like it's a necklace day. She is. For the listeners at home, it's a V-neck shirt, and she's pinning it closed like it's a blouse. She is. She's a southern woman, okay?
Starting point is 00:49:50 Well, I do declare her. She's got her ankles crossed, beveled, and she is just pointed. She is pointed. Boom. And she is literally perched. She is perched. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:02 Arched and perched. Arched and perched. Do y'all not just sit all perched like a woman at She is perched. Yeah. Arched and perched. Do y'all not just sit like all perched like a woman at all times? No. She is in a suit
Starting point is 00:50:10 brought to you by Chanel. Chanel for the southern woman. She went to Dillard's. Dress Barn. Dress Barn. She went to Christopher Banks. I don't know where I'm going with this.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Yeah. Wow. Christopher E. Banks. What do you guys Want to do when I mean you know We're tired old Show hags But young
Starting point is 00:50:30 Young new celebrities Like you guys What do you want to do When the Corral opens up Wait You toured a little Didn't you do
Starting point is 00:50:38 Work the world No I did Like the drive and drag show Which was like different Than the work the world A little bit What is this We did this On video Heidi said was like different than the work the world a little bit. What is this? We did this on video so bad.
Starting point is 00:50:48 Heidi said, no, I did not do work the world. Thank you so much. That's like when anybody brings up AJ and the Queen and I'm like, oh, the show everyone was in? Even though I was on tour and couldn't do it. I'm like, I was not there. The thing is, is I would have been there had I been asked. If you look at my schedule and assume that I can't be somewhere, I don't want a part of it. I don't want a part of it.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah. Well, there was like that book, that fucking book was, I don't know if it was Bagnus Tayser. There was a drag book that literally had every fucking drag queen in the goddamn world except me. Damn. Not in that book. Was I in it? Yes, you were on the cover. Congratulations.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Everyone. They put Heidi on the cover of something. I have a beautiful tan. We're in that book. You're the picture for me, the author. You look great. Yeah! In the back.
Starting point is 00:51:36 And then I also, on the audio tape, about the author. Yes! It's a full book. Jenna Essence Hall is a woman from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with a mission. She knew that one day she'd be successful. A great writer, philanthropist, and artist.
Starting point is 00:51:49 She celebrates life every single day by being exactly who she is. Once again, delusion. Once again. She drives a black Mercedes Benz. Girl, you don't drive. God damn. Do you not have your license? No.
Starting point is 00:52:05 Her driver is a black guy named Mercedes. A black guy named Mercedes. My Mercedes is outside. I drive around. A guy named Ben. A guy named Ben. Yes. Like, literally.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Like, I always, like, the first time that I tried to, like, I was learning to drive, and I was on fucking Valit not Valit Villard Avenue and I got pulled over by the police and it was like four cars and then I got like a ticket ticket ticket and went to jail is a thing surprise it's a thing it's the thing
Starting point is 00:52:38 do you remember Devere Burnett remember Devere Burnett yeah I would me and Devere Burnett lived together I would only get pulled over when he was in the car with me always always and always shit my roommate was black and we would only get pulled over together
Starting point is 00:52:49 and I'd be like what I'm so I would be like why am I getting pulled over he's like you know why because I'm in the front seat with you as soon as you like
Starting point is 00:52:56 sometimes well most times as soon as you cross over into Wisconsin it was like you're like nobody anywhere else is like on the street
Starting point is 00:53:03 patrolling this hard yeah it's the most segregated city and so it's um in a few blocks it goes from white kids white families to like the black neighborhood and then it's the hispanic neighborhood it's like literally like in milwaukee like when you cross the bridge the 27 and 35th street bridges and then it was like, a whole new world. It's very, it's so. You'll get pulled over here,
Starting point is 00:53:28 but not here. Literally. It's like real crazy, but anyway. But you, Heidi, the way you drive, you'd be pulled over every neighborhood.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Drive? What's her? I get tripped. Who is she? Driving. Drive, who is she? What's that?
Starting point is 00:53:43 Drive, who is she? A southern woman as myself would never. You're lifted. I'm walking. You mean my Uber? She's pushing my shopping cart. Going to get groceries.
Starting point is 00:53:54 She's pushing a shopping cart. She's using hand signals. I get to tie up her Heelys. Tying up her Heelys. People need to know. Do y'all have Heelys? I do. People literally need to know. y'all have Heelys I do People literally need to know
Starting point is 00:54:06 I just got some On Amazon They make them up To men size 15 Wow They were 40 bucks They're very worth it Oh no
Starting point is 00:54:11 I'm a 16 Oh no Time to find them feet You know what they say About being with big feet They have big socks God You like that
Starting point is 00:54:21 You like That was good That was good Heidi has been over here At Walmart literally perched like a fucking southern dove. Do you want a tip? I am a physical person.
Starting point is 00:54:32 You like that? Oh my God. I'm funnier to look at what I'm doing than what I'm saying. I'm funnier to look at. I'm funnier to look at. Which is great for a podcast.
Starting point is 00:54:44 It's great for a podcast. I'm funnier to look at Which is great for a podcast It's great for a podcast I'm funnier to look at than here For the Patreon You get to see the visuals We didn't mention she's in drag Imagine she opened her Patreon and then all of a sudden Her followers start going down Just because you mentioned it
Starting point is 00:54:59 Only fans quit Because they heard you might come They're like nope Yes Get the fuck out of here Do you have fans Have you gotten sick of any like People trying to ask you to whistle
Starting point is 00:55:10 Or anything like that Has it been You know Long enough or No You know What we get from the show You know
Starting point is 00:55:18 People see what they really enjoy about you And they want that from you Yeah And I Or they don't Jada enjoy about you and they want that from you. Or they don't. Jada. But I have come to terms that for the rest of my career, I'm going to have to cry in lotion
Starting point is 00:55:39 bottles, whistle. Honey, those are called assholes you've been crying into. that's not lotion coming out girl that's a topical ointment that was so funny though I see what you did there you guys both did an amazing job on drag
Starting point is 00:55:57 I mean come on we always talk I mean that idiot almost went home second I went home fourth on season seven yeah the girl I mean winning's fabulous, but like, yeah. Yeah. People love you guys. Now with National Coming Out Day coming out, and your name being Heidi in Closet,
Starting point is 00:56:11 do you want to issue an apology on this podcast? Because the way that you're weaponizing those words. Yeah. Your rhetoric. It's not that I'm weaponizing it. I'm trying to claim back the word closet because. You're trying to go back in the closet story. Nobody took the word closet, lady.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Look, see, look. Played on closet. We're coming for you. Back in your day. Yesterday. The people. I'm still young. I promise.
Starting point is 00:56:37 Would say, they would make it a negative thing. Closets are for fashion, not men. Okay? So this is the story. This is what I'm going for. Okay. We are taking back, not men. Okay? So this is the story. This is what I'm going for. We are taking back the word closet or closet, depending on how you're feeling. Or closest.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Or closest. Closet or closet. Closet. Closet is my cousin. How about just Heidi and close it. Heidi and close it. Heidi and close it. Heidi and close it.
Starting point is 00:57:13 You gotta do the either or. Oh, either or. Oh, fuck. I only have the ones from last time. It's okay. Do you know I want to be House of Heidi instead of House of Closet? Just Heidi something like Heidi and cupboard, Heidi and cabinet, Heidi and cas something. Like Heidi in cupboard. Heidi in cabinet. Heidi in casket. Heidi in casket. Heidi in seagate.
Starting point is 00:57:29 I don't think we have time for either. This has gone long. You've ruined it, Heidi. Jesus fucking Christ. But I did take a little short video of Miss Closet so that people can see the true audio. That hump in her back where she shakes it.
Starting point is 00:57:47 She has a lash on it. And I'm still paying in profit while I do. She put a stone on it. She has a lash on the hump. If you lash it, then you're not going to put a stone. If you have a hump, you better draw an eyeball on it
Starting point is 00:57:57 and put a lash on it. And make it wink. And make it wink, sis. Don't make the hump wink. Heidi, do you want to know where everybody can find you on the internet? Yeah. Yes, they can find me on all my social medias.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Heidi and Closet, except for TikTok. Okay. It's the Heidi and Closet because someone stole Heidi and Closet from me. I was Trixie Mattel 8. Wow. And I called TikTok personally. I called her. And I got Trixie Mattel.
Starting point is 00:58:22 The power that is. The beauty that is the grace that was Trixie Mattel but this is Los Angeles and I'm white so I can just ask TikTok she said TikTok I'm really upset right now
Starting point is 00:58:38 excuse me on my name white woman in trouble help me she pushed her white woman button There's an ace on my name. Only ace on my name. White woman in trouble. Help me. She pushed her white woman button. Oh my God. It's just a help button.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Where can people find you, Jada? You can find me everywhere. Right now, I'm in my mind. I'm in your mind. The back alley of Mickey's. Are you looking at me? No. You can find me on social media Everywhere Jada E. Hall
Starting point is 00:59:06 That's Jada E. Hall And jadeahall.com I sell some things on there Oh yeah The girls can support It's the best way to support The teens right now During these trying times
Starting point is 00:59:15 And I'm working really hard To get a Gucci duffel bag And if you could just buy A couple of things from me Please Please support the essence of beauty Yeah You know what
Starting point is 00:59:23 When I'm in the airport I want to floss a little bit savings retirement real estate that yeah get that duffel bag the clouds are not sunny anymore it's not sunny skies anymore it's gloomy day well it's because of the reveals yeah well with covid there's no better time for travel equipment she said i'm not going anywhere out, but when I do, it's over for you, Hugs. And it's going to sit and collect dust in my home. You know what? Also, I think that
Starting point is 00:59:52 gender reveals have done a lot of damage during this time, and I think that this is a good time for us to reflect and think about the reveals that we are doing on Drag Race and that some people need to calm down a little bit. We might start a fire next. Oh my God. Utica.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Gender reveals. This is 2020. Gender reveals have been dangerous for a long time. Did you see the post where they talked about the very first official gender reveal and it was really just this woman whose their child does not even really conform to typical gender norms, which is crazy.
Starting point is 01:00:23 And then they like, do you have any proof of it being the very first one? It's literally just a vanilla cake with icing and pink icing in between the two layers. And she really tried to say I did that. I did this. I am an inventor. Trailblazer. Risk taker. I invented burning down the forest
Starting point is 01:00:40 with wild displays revealing gender. I know it's sad it's crazy there's nothing funnier than what started a fire a gender reveal party that's something that didn't need to happen
Starting point is 01:00:51 didn't need to happen this wasn't someone camping this wasn't a home electricity no during the pandemic at that girl
Starting point is 01:00:58 having a party having a party should you not be having parties during quarantine times absolutely not Miss Closet I thought that was a question I was like? Absolutely not I thought that was a question I thought it was a question at first Speaking of
Starting point is 01:01:10 We should get back to the 400 person get together In the living room Thank you guys you

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