The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Hard Turds Only with Monét X Change

Episode Date: June 1, 2021

From deep in the wilds of the San Fernando Valley, two bald bastards have begun their Pride celebration in a cold, dark recording studio in the basement of a vacuum cleaner repair shop. But will they let these frigid environs prevent them from welcoming a very special guest and waxing poetic about the consistency of excrement and the secret lives of Hollywood Royalty? Nay! So put down that maple-glazed doughnut you progenitor of filth, and turn on ye old YouTube or IGTV for the very first special edition video of The Bald and the Beautiful with the most specialest of guests, the one and only Monét X Change! Follow Monét: @MonetXChange Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do stop losses work on Kraken? Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So, sensible me pre-books a taxi for 10pm with alerts. Voila! I won't be getting carried away and staying out till 2. That's stop loss orders on Kraken. An easy way to plan ahead. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer

for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Eligibility and member terms apply. Fuck it, we'll do it live! Okay! Okay, I think we're doing it. Is it happening? Oh, definitely, I'll start over here. Yeah, yeah! What, do you want some fucking drum roll?

Yes! You saw me here for four hours. Yeah. So, let me, let me, let me. I don't want to throw up. Everybody shut up, everybody shut up. I'm going to give her a proper intro. Thank you, Katya. Let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me let me dollar. The eunuch of the euro. It's Monet et Chans.

Yay! That was great. Thank you. Yeah! Was that like Rocky music? No, I have like a bunch of stuff. I guess that could have given you applause. This is right. What was the other thing you gave me? Was that bullying? Oh, give it up for Monet Exchange.

By the way, these are the stock ones, and you can program in whatever you want. So if we ever have any requests. Sucking dick and cock. Do you know about that? No. Oh, Monet. God, wait. Long story short, there's a 38-year-old woman who tried to take someone to the cleaners

on YouTube, and she was complaining that he was at her birthday party, a 19-year-old, and he was talking about sucking dick and cock at my birthday party. I know who that is. Sucking dick and cock. I will say, this is very shady. I did not know this was going to be on camera. And Trixie is over here giving full on. She did her skincare, moisturizing routine today, and I look like Gollum the black bitch.

I'm going to stop you right there because we have camera evidence of this. I see nothing of the sort. Nothing of the sort. She looks very moisturized and very healthy. You too, though. I mean, she is the moment.

Come on. Monet is lying several times. Am I being crucified for setting up all the cameras or for having good skin? I'm very happy to... What is the truth? What is the truth? I'm so happy to What is the truth? Yeah

So what is the truth? I'm so happy to christen your new recording space Well we needed someone who looked good Let's address the elephant in the room

which is the room The elephants in the room The elephants in the room Which is we have cameras finally Yay And we're to work in progress. Two of these are my YouTube cameras I snatched

out of my house today. That one's the one from the studio. That one's actually a really nice camera. It was a full... Trixie has become like a fucking... Martin Spielberg. Martin Spielberg. She's here programming things. She's moving cameras.

She's doing lines. And Kati and I are just eating high chews. Literally just wandering, drooling, wondering when's it going to happen. I got cooler into my eye earlier. It's so crazy. We've been through a lot. Life can be so hard. Well, you know, I do the fat bitch thing.

Okay, have you ever eaten chips in public? Of course. You get to the back, to the end, and you don't want to be that girl to do this. And so I normally do the thing. I'm like, I'm trying to be as coy as possible. Pinch, pinch, pinch. But I'm like, I don't. I dumped the entire thing in my eye and Cooler Range got in my right eye.

Damn. Yeah. Would you do that in front of Selena Gomez? I sure would. Okay. I'll do it again. Bop, bop, bop. Selena Gomez is next door today.

She is. She is. Selena Gomez is in the building next door. Yeah. She is. Yeah. Yeah. She is. Yeah. Yeah. When they have security out there, when I pulled up in my little Mazda protege Uber,

the band came out and said, who the fuck are you? And do you think you're getting in here? I don't think so. Not on my watch. I love you like a love song, baby. That's a Selena Gomez song. It surely is. I think that's Vanessa Hudgens.

And Selena Gomez. It's Selena Gomez It's Selena Is it Selena? Absolutely Are y'all sure? I'm positive Because I have the Russian version So I mean

Let's address it The elephants in the room Which are You have two podcasts I know What the fuck Who are you trying to prove? You know

Why do you think You are so interesting Okay So my first time into podcasting Was a similar one with me and Bob But I genuinely I like podcasting I like talking to people

And finding interesting things I'm actually Three I have the The Macbeth one too Oh my god Oh you don't know about her And the drag queens doing Macbeth

I would like to not know It's my supplement to live preferment And we did it for Play on podcast And we're being the witches in Macbeth. I would like to not know. It's my supplement to live preferment. And we did it for Play On Podcast. And we're being the witches in Macbeth. That's amazing. Now, yes, that is amazing. Sounds amazing. And it is amazing. But I am the most ignorant

cultural theater bitch, okay? I never did any Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Shakespeare in love. When I was assigned Shakespeare in school, I never did it. I would always go to sparknotes.com. I was like, what happened at the end

of this Romeo and Juliet thing? I don't got time to read this whole blah, blah. Well, you know what happens. Yeah. Sucking dick and cock. They both go suck dick. They go into the cock

in New York and they get Jäger bombs. Have y'all ever been to the cock in New York, either of you? No, I think I have. Are you like delighted in the activities there?

I have not particularly. My New York experience is so limited because I, I think I have. And like delighted in the activities there? I have not particularly. My New York experience is so limited because I only ever went there after I was like Drag Race. Okay. So I only ever go there

to do a show or like maybe go to one bar. I go to see you. Yeah, you did. Trixie, there's a picture, I just pulled it

on my computer actually of you coming to see me at Industry Duvet Drag and Trixie, and Kati has come a couple times too. I mean, I loved it.

I think I'd never forget that night. That was fantastic. You're amazing. Thank you. You've always been amazing. Thank you. You really are like, I think, one of the best, like, I don't know, living drag queens. Well, because I also recalled, if I'm not mistaken, I think Bob had probably been on the show that season.

And I was like, oh, it's like a pretty Bob. Pretty Bob. Pretty Bob. Pretty Bob. Oh, my God. So, Bunny and I recorded an episode of Ebony and Irony, and Kevin Avianza was our guest, right? So, I talked to Kevin Avianza about Nightlife, and obviously his song's Cunty, then da-da-da-da.

And he was like, then he goes, and like one year, Miss Thing, do you know there was this queen in New York, she's on the show now, Bob, I was like, oh, yeah, Bob the drag queen, she's on the show. She's on the show now. Bob. Oh, yeah. Bob the drag queen. She's on the show. She's like Miss Thing. She was fierce.

And like fierce in the bad way. Yes. Fierce can be used. He was like, she called herself doing a tribute to me. And Miss Thing, it was not the tea. And he was just dragging Bob. I'm doing this again. Oh, my God.

Someone lied to her several times. Someone lied to her several times. Someone lied to her several times. It was so juicy. I loved it. I was like, ooh, I love this so much. Say it again. It was so good.

Uh-huh, say it again. I love that. I love it. Kevin Avion's dragging bob. How the look wasn't like him. The performance was bad. I'm like, Miss Thing,

I would never wear that, Miss Thing. Ooh, girl, chop. I was like. It was amazing. That is never wear that Miss Thing. Ooh, girl, chop. I was like. It was amazing. That is fantastic. That's fierce. That never happens. Well, people have mostly nice things to say about.

I mean, she's my Bob. So people have mostly nice things to say about you. Yeah. And I think if they have something like on, on, if there's something not nice to say, I totally get it. You know, cause it's probably like, you know, opinions don't ever bother me. Right. But if it's something that I've done,

then I probably did it. And, you know. I don't know what you're talking about. You guys have honest kids. I love kids' juices. You do? Are you a chimo? Because that sounded like you, you know, I don't know. I love kids' juices.

Yeah, I was just going to say. Like tiny, like duh. You have been hanging out with funny. I love kids' juices. Oh my God, I wasn't thinking that way. But they're low calorie, they're the perfect size, and it's like the proportions you should be having. Because when you're American and you go to the UK or whatever, as you guys obviously both know, you're like...

Oh, we travel. Booked. You're like, in America, they are trying to kill us. The proportions are big as your head. In the UK, they're like, hey, girl, how you going? Here's a little slab of brisket. Yeah, that'd be $35. You know what I mean?

And it's like normal people's servings of food. Although I did recently, somebody posted an Instagram food pic of a full English breakfast. And this is my dream breakfast. And I was like, I looked at that fucking thing. And I said, I hope I never see any of that fucking shit again in my life. The food there is not aspirational in any way. I was like, this is his culinary dream. Someone lied to them several times, girl.

it was my nightmare. A nightmare on Elm Street right there. The fried egg, the brown sea of beans. The half tomato pan fried. The half tomato and the mushrooms.

The baked beans. The baked beans. The gray mushrooms and then it was that black The black thing with the little blood pudding. It was the charcoal

briquette of blood pudding. Not the tea mama. The thick, tough, and fatty bacon sauce. It was just so disgusting. It makes me think of touring Halloween with Sharon. And no matter what state Sharon was in the night before, she walks into that hotel lobby going, I never miss an English breakfast.

She loves it. Does she? It's disgusting. Oh, she would be down there in a leather jacket eating blood pudding. Sean is wild. Blood pudding, that's what came out of my ass after the marathon. Blood pudding. Have you already talked about the fact that you put a suppository in because you had hemorrhoids

and then it came out during the marathon? I was about to be like, shut up. I didn't mean to put you on blast, but I really did want to mention it. Oh yeah, thank you for not giving me the opportunity to speak on it with in no way describing exactly what happened without my permission.

When I ran the marathon, I ran so much that I gave myself a hemorrhoid. And so I had a suppository of my asshole and I put it in before the marathon. Probably not smart. Well, because the training is what you had given you the marathon. Yeah. I mean, it happens.

People. Yeah. So then I'm running and when you're, let's say you're, you're running 30 miles basically and you're not even halfway there. Don't trust a fart. Yeah. Trixie, shut up. It's crazy.

I had to pull my pants down on the side of the road and wipe myself with a leaf and keep running. Well, Steve, do you know what? I finished the marathon. Hello. It's a marathon, not Survivor, girl. What are you doing? This didn't surprise me at all because I remember from the Boston Marathon years and years ago, her name was Uta Pippig, famously finished

the marathon with shit, I think, and maybe like period blood running down her legs. People shit themselves a lot in marathons. I don't know if that's a thing. I think that's what the white people, black people don't be shitting themselves in marathons. I don't need a marathon to shit myself. The fastest marathon runners in the world

are usually from Kenya. Yeah, Kenya, Ethiopia. And they finish it. I watch videos of people from Africa finishing a marathon in under two hours. 26 miles. That can't be true. Five and a half hours.

That cannot be true. That cannot be true. Yes, yes. Under two hours. 26 miles. That can't be true. Five and a half hours. That cannot be true. That cannot be true. Yes, yes. Under two hours. But I will say this, after learning a lot about marathons and like reading, the people who win marathons

look like they are on the verge of death. Oh, girl. Yeah. Veins, vascular, skull head, 100 pounds with a bunch of metals. Yeah, yeah. And never under 30. I know.

Fucking 55 years old. I know. Fucking 55 years old. I know. Horrible. But this is when you're 55, what else do you have to live for but fucking run a marathon? Like, what else do you have to live for? Not your fucking snotty nose kids.

Finish this marathon and then suicide. Yeah. Anyway, I wiped my butt with the leaf and I kept running. That's crazy. She had also, I think on a longer training day before the marathon, about five miles in, she pissed herself.

I do that all the time, girl. But she said at five miles in, this was like a 15 mile run. I had to run 20 miles and I peed at five. Word. At that point, she wanted to pee. You sure do. You wanted to. Have you ever been coming from a gig and you get in the car and you're like,

okay, I can make it to the hotel in time. Everything will work out fine. Bitch, by the time your body senses you're a minute away from the lobby of the hotel, it's happening. It's coming. It's happening. I pissed myself in so many hotel lobbies, especially the one in El Paso, Texas. I was so drunk.

I just let myself go in the bathroom. one in El Paso, Texas. I was so drunk. I just let myself go in the bathroom and then I came back down, makeup so long, corset on, panties with a towel, attempting to wonder how I was like, can I help? I get drunkly trying to clean up my piss in the

fucking lobby. Oh, you talk to this one. She famously has about 12 seconds between the hotel door and the toilet. That's how I started pissing in the sink. Because it's such a crazy biological thing that happens. As soon as I get into the... It's really just like the clock is ticking.

It is. So I went into... I crashed the threshold of the bathroom in my apartment. And it just started. The stream came. So I quickly just faced the sink. And then I found out it's the perfect urinal. It's the perfect urinal. I had a low toilet. And I was like, it's a perfect urinal. It's the perfect urinal.

I had a low toilet. And I was like, it's a perfect urinal. Plus, I'll save all that water. I just do a quick shh. I pissed in the sink for five years after that. Like, just because. Yeah. Door open.

Actually, I didn't have a door in the bathroom. You've been there. A piss in the sink is worth a shit in the toilet. Okay. Or a shit. Okay, can I tell you guys a story? Please. So, I had this guy I was hooking up with regularly for, like, at least a year in the toilet. Okay, or, okay, can I tell you guys a story? So,

I had this guy, I was hooked up with regularly for like at least a year, you know, about a year, we hook up regularly and it was always regular things. Like, he's expressed some of his fetishes to me,

you know what I mean? And I'm like, that's cool and we tried some of them. No, just out of drag. And he was, I was like,

some of them we tried, you know, because he's like a regular partner, whatever. And then one day he was like, I really want to get into like, poopy stuff. try, you know, because he's like a regular partner or whatever. And then one day he was like, I really want to get into like poopy stuff. Yeah, he sounds regular. He keeps saying regular.

And I knew that. Poopy stuff. Also the description. Oh, I want to try poopy stuff. What exactly did he say? Did he say exactly those words? No, he said poop. Poop.

Because he's also, he's Dominican. Okay. This guy up in Washington Heights. And he had a full girlfriend too, I believe. Anyway. Okay. So then he said, and I was like, yeah, that's just, I don't want to get into, like, I'm not into that. He's like, okay, cool.

So we hooked up that time. He came over again. He brings it up again. Like, as I'm, like, between his legs sucking his fucking dick, right, going in on this foreskin. Like, it's like the last supper right wow and then chewing the cud so now he wants to try this like 69 moments now he's sucking my dick and then but i want the bottom so he's sucking my he's sucking my dick and his dick is in my area and then and then he like pulls his dick out of my mouth and he's jerking off. And then I feel a warm sensation.

This motherfucker dropped a dollop of shit on my chest. Like, a sizable dollop of, like, legitimately, y'all. Like, about probably like this. I cannot. And I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. So, I push him off and I run to the bathroom. I take a baby wipe, scoop it in the toilet. And I get Clorox wipes because I had them in my bathroom sink, and I wipe my teeth.

I'm like, you have to go. Like, this is not okay. And he's watching me do this and just still jerking off. No, no. As I'm in the bathroom cleaning, he's like jerking off. Yes. This is bad. I was so upset because it was great dick.

You know what I mean? And I was like, now this can never happen again. I don't trust you, motherfucker. You just shit on my chest. What the fuck? And it's funny because, I mean, I assumed that he would be like eating your ass trying to suck the shit out of you. No, no. Pardon my French.

No, he wanted to put his shit on me. He wanted to be the shitter. He wanted to be the sh out of you. No, no. Pardon my French. No, he wanted to put his shit on me. He wanted to be the shitter. He wanted to be the shitter. Fuck. Yeah, it was. That, I, oh my God. Honestly, at that moment, I literally lost my faith in people

and I was like, I can't trust anyone. Dominicans especially. Just kidding, just kidding. That is psycho. We're going to take a break. Okay. going to take a break. Okay. This episode is brought to you by CIBC. From closing that first sale to opening a second store, as a business owner, you've hustled to accomplish a lot, but the rewards don't stop there. When you earn two times more points on things that matter to

you and your business, easily track those business expenses, and experience flexible Aventura rewards, you'll realize how much more rewarding your hustle can be. Get up to $1,800 in value when you apply for the CIBC Aventura Visa for Business at cibc.com slash aventurabusiness. Terms and conditions apply. What's the feeling of fall? It's wearing a jacket you'll be taking off because fall doesn't want you feeling cold all the time. No, sometimes it wants you feeling way too hot. Oh, and that jacket you wore? Now it's draped on your elbow,

overheating your arm. While you cool off with your Starbucks vanilla sweet cream cold brew and the rich Parmesan, Monterey, and cheddar of the new three cheese and egg sandwich. That's the feeling of fall. And it's only at Starbucks. Introducing TD Insurance for Business,

with customized coverage options for your business. Because at TD Insurance, we understand that your business is unique, so your business insurance should be too. Whether you're a shop owner, a pet groomer, a contractor, or a consultant, you can get customized coverage for your business. Contact a licensed TD insurance advisor to learn more. And we're back. So you have this incredible podcast that I love called Ebony and Irony with one Lady Bunny.

Lady Bunny. How did she get? I know you guys knew each other, but how did you get this idea? Can you see all this on the table? What? Can you see all of this on the shot? Oh, no, but I'm going to make sure people know what she's doing over here. It's fine.

It's fine. You don't know about fucking Reptar over here letting the kids have it. So, you know Bunny. You call her. You go, we should do a pod or what's the tea? Yeah, so, okay. So, one of my, I don't know if y'all have ever heard of

Bunny and Bianca did a podcast like are you kidding Derek and Romaine Derek and Romaine come on that's all we talk about

it is one of the funniest things ever it's just it's all we talk about it is pure serotonin pure serotonin I like Trixie's now eating her high chews

and throwing them in front of me so I look like the big fat monster bitch gaslighting gaslighting oh my god I have a flask in my bag I'm gonna put it next to you but listen and throwing them in front of me because I look like the big fat monster bitch. Gaslighting. Gaslighting. Oh my God. I have a flask in my bag.

I'm going to put it next to you. But listen, I like can quote that thing. It's one of the funniest things ever. All the time. You know what I mean? All the time. So then,

so like one day randomly, like in September of 2020, I was doing something and those bunny phone calls. Yeah. You see the phone ringing, but I was like, oh God,

do I have an hour in my life to devote to this conversation with Lady Bunny? There's a lot of drag queens like that. What is vivacious? I've never received a phone call from her.

Well, here's the thing. I don't think she has one. Anytime a New York City queen gets on drag race, vivacious does her ceremonial vivacious conversation or home visit. Is this like orientation?

Honestly, that's what it is. But Vivacious and I weren't friends like that, but she was friends with Bob, so she had heard that I got on the show, and then, oh no, this was after filming, but it was about to be announced. So then Bob invites, just shows up at my home with Vivacious in my door.

So I was expecting anyone. Bitch, I was probably trying to plan some dick for that evening. You know what I'm saying? And I hear my home with Vivacious in my door. So I was expecting anyone. Bitch, I was probably trying to plan some dick for that evening. You know what I'm saying? And I hear my, I'm like, who the fuck is at my door? Off my door is fucking these two bald black bitches, Bob and Vivacious, standing at my front door. And I was like, what are you guys doing here? This is odd.

And you had twists at the time. I got twists. You had twists, yeah. And then so Vivacious stayed at my home and followed me to work for about six hours, just talking to me about Drag Race, what I need to expect, what I need to do, how to prepare, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Did she have a binder or a packet or handouts at all? No, she was just spouting off her Vivacious knowledge. Powerpoint, yeah. Powerpoint. What was she saying? Just different things about like, Mama, when you go to that gig in Vienna, the life ball, mama, let me tell you one thing. On the plane,

plane, dude, you plane talk, like, just different her tricks and tips and tricks about drag. Stop putting the fucking candy in front of me, bitch. I don't know what you're talking about. It's so rude. So that's how he used to be Bunny. So Bunny and I had been like conversing here and there, and she called me in September.

And she was like, we're talking about something. It goes about probably Nancy Pelosi. And then something about Bernie Sanders. And I was like, Bunny, have you ever thought about doing a podcast? She's like, well, me? What's a podcast? I was like, that's a really funny one of you from years ago. I said,

do you remember doing the Derek and Romaine one on YouTube years ago? And she was like, no. And I was like, but it's kind of like a radio show. Like you just saw, it's just like, well,

do I have to get in drag? I was like, not if you don't want to, but no one sees your face. She's like, well, um, fuck you fag.

And she hangs up the phone legitimately and I was like oh my god so then I was like whatever and then she called me again like a month later

I was like Bunny for real let's do this podcast thing and we just planned it and we came out in January it's fierce I love it I love it it plays this dichotomy

of Bunny's obviously from a very old school drag and hot school very old very old and what do you think you are up and coming young children? This fucking 40-year-old man

in our studio. Honey. How old are you? How old are you? I'm 31. Oh, me too. Yeah, we're the same age, bitch. How old are you?

I just turned 42. No, she didn't. No, you did not. That whore is 38. Oh, my God. Whatever. Lies. Vicious rumors.

She's the only person I know trying to convince people she's older. I mean, honestly, when you meet someone and they play that game, you're like, how old do you think I am? I don't play that game. I don't play it either. I do. Do you?

I always guess right. Do you? Mama, when I tell you, and this is my own, I was like, you know when stars get asked this question, what's your secret talent? I was always, I always sweat because I don't have any talent. But like, this is actually my secret talent. So guess people's ages. Yep. Especially actresses. They're like, oh, you know, I'm bankrupt. I'm't have any talent but like this is actually my secret talent so guess people's ages yep

especially actresses be like oh you know Anne Bancroft like 62 look it up really and it's just like in my

and I'm always right you're the you're the rain man of celebrity ages yeah don't ask me to right now but I'm always I am like no seriously

I'm like I bet she's this old and it's like literally that or like maybe a year younger yeah I'm really good at

guessing people's ages but you know young women or any kind of woman who's not a celebrity you know they never want you to they never so you always go five years younger yeah I'm really good at guessing people's ages. But, you know, young women or any kind of woman who's not as, you know, they never want you to tell them. They never. So you always go five years younger. Yeah.

I'm Madeline Ashton, which is like, how old do you think I am? And Madeline Ashton goes, 38? Yeah, like, 28. 25? 25? Yeah. I am 72 years old. Do y'all believe in psychics?

Girl. How much time do you have? I believe that there are people who believe they are psychics. Okay. Yeah. But not real. Like, like, Teresa Caputo. Not Teresa Caputo.

She's a great entertainer. Right. She's an entertainer. And they just sit around and shit. They'll be like, you experience happy and sad feelings sometimes, right? She's a great entertainer. I get sad and happy. I'm the real housewives.

They always have psychic episodes. And this one bitch, girl, this one bitch, she got in this big fight, right? It was an old season, season two. So she had an electric cigarette. Remember when people used to smoke cigarettes? Oh, God.

Electric cigarettes? Yeah. That looked like a cigarette. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's smoking that. And then she gets in this big, the psychic gets in this big fight with one of the housewives.

And the girl storms out. And the girl goes, and the psychic goes, I can tell you when she will die and everything that's going to happen to her family. And I love that about me. Whatever is fucking brilliant. Whenever a psychic comes to the housewives, it's incredible because it's a room full of people.

Half of them are skeptics. Half of them are sobbing. Talking to their mom. My friend knew a Frank once. And the psychics are so vague. So vague. It's just a superfluous just anything. Does anybody have a mother?

People are like, oh my God. Oh my God. What about on Drag Race? What did you think of the psychic that came to feel out the energy? This season? Girl, yes. 84 years ago on this season.

They should have asked the psychic how long is this season going to go? Honestly, I don't remember that it was so long ago. Back in 2012,

this psychic came on the show. Drag Race started on January 1st. No, no, no. Listen, here's a statistic. In 1982. Drag Race UK season two

started three weeks after Drag Race season 13 and finished two months before it ended. That is insane. It's not true, but it feels that way. Oh my God, Katya. The first episode of Season 13 was filmed on the Titanic.

Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. I mean, during Pit Stop, I was just like, so should I buy another house? Or how are we going to be here? It's crazy. It's crazy.

But you know, now it's done. It's done. All stars. Oh my God, we're going to get a new bitch in the Hall of Fame soon. Is that confirmed? No. Oh, can we talk about the night? I know it's like kind of old news, but

you won Drag Race. Oh my god. I was there. I was there. I could not believe. Tell them what happened. You guys did not know. We had no idea. We had no idea. No idea. No idea. The real Trixie Mattel was booked. Yeah. I walk in there looking like We had no idea. We had no idea. No idea. No idea. The real Trixie Mattel was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I walk in there looking like Trixie Mattel after, like, what, two months of meth? And then, like, it was. After the marathon. Yeah, after the marathon. And then, and I remember, like, sitting down with you guys and watching that. Or, no, you guys were sitting down. I was watching the monitor and watching you guys.

And, yeah, Trinity, the look on her face is so funny. Oh, girl. Let me say something. It's like this. And you see, it's all those equations behind that meme. As soon as I was like, you cannot show, you need to just, bitch, watch your face. Of course. And just like. Yeah.

And just smile. Yeah. There's nothing that can happen if you smile. Were you mad? I wasn't mad. At first, honestly, my honest reaction at first, I was like, I would rather be second place and be able to come back than both of us share $100,000 and share all the things. I was like, I don't want to share all that.

You know what I mean? You got your own money. Yeah, yeah. We got our own. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I found out we were getting our own everything, I was like, that worked. And also, it'll probably never happen again. Yeah.

So to have that moment in time, you know what I mean? And queer culture. Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. So to have that moment in time, you know what I mean? Queer culture. Yeah. I'm into it. Yeah. Okay. That's a great pageant answer. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I think Trinity felt the same way. Oh, no. I think Trinity fucking hated it. Yeah. She hated it. Yeah. I bet she did.

She coerced herself into liking it later on. Yeah. Well, after we had conversations, and I was like, girl, it's honestly the first time it'll ever happen. We both got our own shit. No matter what camp you were wanting to win, your person won. So who cares? And she was like, I still hate it.

Not Monique's camp. Not Naomi's camp. Monique. Monique is so funny. You're friends with Monique. Love. Monique is one of the wildest. She's just chaotic energy all the time.

She cracks my shit up. Oh, she's so funny. I love Monique. Love Monique is one of the wildest. She is just chaotic energy all the time. She cracks my shit up. Oh, she's so funny. I love Monique. Love Monique. She'll come over to my house, and she brings a wig that she's sewing a bunch of human hair bundles into, just hours of sewing, and then she puts it on and wears it home. That's very Monique. Also, I told you, I take like a five milligram gummy, cut it in fourths, and go to Saturn.

That's crazy to me. She eats three, and she's like, I felt nothing. Yeah, yeah. She don't fuck around. I love Monique. I love fourths, and go to Saturn. That's crazy to me. She eats three, and she's like, I felt nothing. Yeah, yeah, she don't fuck around. I love Monique. I love, love, love Monique. She is so fucking funny, dude. Yeah, she's hysterical. You smoke the wacky weed?

I do. I delight in marijuana. Do you like the smoking, or do you do, like, what do you do? Do you smoke joints? I like babes, edibles, and since I've come to, moved to L.A., like, over the past, like, year, I've gotten into pre-rolls, but I don't know how to roll, and I don't like grinding it up and doing it myself. It has to be done for me. Who've got into pre-rolls but I don't know how to roll and I don't like grinding it up

and doing it myself it has to be done for me who is doing who's like I don't know people love it though it's like an art form some people love that shit

but you know what's so annoying about it whatever people can fight me people are so everyone thinks they're the best at rolling a joint

oh yeah people it's like a thing I said Mary they all look the fucking same it's so annoying and you lick it you lick it I put it in my mouth are you fucking kidding me, it's like a thing. I said Mary, they all look the fucking same. It's so annoying. Those pre-rolls are great stuff. You lick it, I put it in my mouth? Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, that's a good thing. But the people

that pre-roll it, they probably lick it too. Also, bitch, if you eat ass, why do you care? That's like when people find a piece of hair in their food. I'm like, you eat booty. Not everyone hates booty. There's shit in your mouth. Not everyone does. There's shit in your mouth. Do you not like eating ass? Not really.

You don't like eating ass? Mama, it's the only thing I ever want to do. I just want to be here. I wish there was a giant ass on my face to be two of the fuck home. You notice how she's really aged up here but completely exfoliated and the nose down? The amount of Russian red Mac lipstick

on that man's ass that is out there is just too much. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I don't get bothered by stuff like that. I'm is just too much. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't get bothered by stuff like that. I'm like,

it's just a little hair. And do you, oh, I had, there was a bug, a pretty big bug that flew into my smoothie the other day. Into your ass?

Yeah, into my open, gaped ass. Into the, no. And I was like, oh, I'll just eat that.

Oh, well, that's different. Why the fuck not? Like, okay, how big of a bug? Oh,

it was a fly. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, that's fine. It was a not? Okay, how big of a bug? Oh, it was a fly. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah, that's fine. It was a fly on a turd. It was a fat turd that had come into the... And it was thrown on my chest. Yes, yeah. It was a turd the size of an ice cube. Okay, it wasn't a fly.

It was a Pomeranian. And I ate it. We're going to take a break. Yes. So money is a thing, but it's not everything. I think you really look at the importance of what are you doing with your time? The conversations that we've had with our financial advisor is very much about building what that framework looks like

that helps support those important things. The places where you're investing your time and your resources, your family clearly, and those closest to you. Edward Jones. We do money differently. Visit edwardjones.ca slash different. Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB World School, UCC offers a supportive environment, cutting-edge facilities, and a best-in-Canada financial assistance program.

UCC, a place where tradition, excellence, and innovation meet. Learn more at our open house events on October 15th and 16th. Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no.

What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches. Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. And we're back. Love in LA, have you found it yet? I have not. Well, welcome, by the way. Thank you. Yeah,

I'm an LA girl. I knew a while, and you told me because you were surprising Bob. Yes. I couldn't tell you. Yes. I couldn't tell anybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you and Naomi. And we eventually decided, Bob, when I moved here, Bob, like, cried.

Was he surprised? He was surprised. He cried? Yes, he cried. He said, do you want to be my boyfriend? I was like, oh, number four? Yeah. I'll do it.

He said, I need another boyfriend. That's right. He is a big love over there yeah big love Bob is so enamored by the masses

he cannot keep the men away from him yeah man they all love Bob yes they're surprising him he

Jacob lied and said like you wanna come visit my cousin who lives in LA and Bob was like we've been here for eight months we're just gonna visit her now

but Jake was like yeah so then I get to my house of course I ordered a fucking I ordered Uber Eats in LA and Bob was like we've been here for 8 months we're just gonna visit her now baby Jake was like yeah so then I get to my house of course I ordered a fucking I ordered Uber Eats but Uber in LA is fucked up

my Uber was supposed to get there with my food at like 320 and it moved to 340 then it was 355 and it ended up being 405 which was

Jacob's ETA as well so then Jacob and the Uber and Bob all ended at the same time so I open my townhouse door and then Jacob and Bob are standing there and the Uber and Bob Led all in at the same time So I open my townhouse door And then Jacob and Bob are standing there

And the Uber eats man is like Bob's crying Bob doesn't see me yet So then I open the door and then I Like my hand goes out to get Food and Bob is like Monet? And I was like Hey girl

But he's still not putting it together. Mind you, my entire house is set up. That's not like I've got, I moved all my shit here. My entire home is set up. My picture is my everything. Both things. Everything set up. Both of it.

Both of it. Both of it. So he comes up my stairs, and I have huge artwork. I have artwork that's like 60 by 90, like really big piece all over my head. And then Valka's in. He's like, I was like, do you notice? I'm filming him. I was like, artwork. Like I have like artwork that's like 60 by 90, like really big piece all over my head. And then Bob comes in and he's like, I was like, do you notice that I'm filming?

I was like, do you notice anything? Does anything look weird? He's like, no. He's like, what are you doing here? I was like,

Bob, nothing in here looks weird to you. Nothing in this place looks weird. He's like, no, nice pictures. I was like, Bob,

I live here now. He's like, this is crazy. And then he starts crying. It's like the whole thing. We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. It was very sweet. That's so cute. He's like, this is crazy. And then he starts crying. It's like the whole thing. We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe. It was very sweet.

That's so cute. He loves you. I love him. I love you guys on Sibling. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's a lot. It's so good. And I've talked about this before, but like, you obviously love each other, but you both

want to be right. But you know this. But Bob wants to be right more. Yes. And Monet knows it. Whatever. Monet knows it. So. Monet knows it. So Monet will fight him just to like, are you sure?

And like Bob will stop the podcast to Google something. It's crazy. To make sure he's right. Yeah. And Monet's like, what's the source? Bob loves being right. He loves being right. He's the most competitive person I know.

He also is really smart. He is right a lot, so whatever. It depends on the room. It depends on the room. I'm sorry if there's cameras. We did that trivia thing the other day. He was like, just to let you know, I'm very competitive. I was like, okay.

I'm also really smart, so whatever. I'm really fucking smart. I went to fucking school, bud. White people keep their studios. It is cold in here. My feet are fucking school, bud. I will say, white people keep their studios, it is cold in here. My feet are literally have frostbite. You know what they said

to me out there? I'll just be honest and be vulnerable in the studio today. I came in here and they said, we've been working on getting this.

They said, they were like, we were trying to get this all ready for you and it's been like a big hectic thing all day and we were told that if it wasn't cold in here

you would get mad. And I wanted to say, no, but then I thought of all the times I'm going to be in drag and I said, I want people to know. I'm like, amp up the story. One time Trixie walked in, it was hot. She slapped someone like, I want that.

Raise the stakes. I did a thing. I can't, I'm not going to say drop any names over. I did like an industry thing. I went to like a party, blah, blah, blah. A hype house, TikTok house party? No. And I heard a story about

how like someone who is involved in a really big show is so like verbally abusive to their female assistants and I was like

I'll tell you I don't want to spill anybody's tea but I'm like riveted can we wrap this up so we can get to the story I say that to say

like you like see these folk involved in like you know this like celebrity thing and you don't know how they're fucking assholes outside of it.

Oh yeah. Oh my God. So many people. So a producer at VH1 that I love and I've worked with forever, back in the day, he was a personal assistant

of a A-list star. A-list star. Had to take him to small claims courts because the motherfucker didn't pay him. Really? And for a year, like a year's work, and won because

it was insane. Incredibly cheap and just totally dismissive and outrageously ridiculous. And when I tell you who it is after we wrap here, you will gag. Kelsey Grammer. It was Kelsey Grammer. Yeah, you will gag.

Gag. Gag. How do y'all eat and not get the sounds? I'm watching these two fucking people eat. I'm sitting far away. Are y'all? We're not like you on eight. Bitch, I have literally like my esophagus.

I'm like here all of it. Oh! I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. We just talked about this before the podcast. It's the worst thing ever.

The worst thing ever. Well, welcome to Los Angeles. This is a call to action. Everybody in Los Angeles, if you want to have Miss Monet on your thing, if you want to book her, she's down the street now.

Yeah, she's down the street and around the corner. It's so great. So many wonderful opportunities are just going to fall into your lap. Do you think that is the best decision you made

to move to LA? Are you kidding? Really? Yeah. I mean, I love I love Wisconsin, but I love it here. Yeah.

The weather or the people or the vibe? Not the people. Are you kidding? TikTok influencers who begrudgingly drive Uber during the day. The fucking worst

sludge of the earth, bitch. Sludge of the goddamn earth. People blocking traffic on Hollywood Boulevard, pulling out their ass and taking a picture of it. Did I just tell you I was almost witness to homicide on the way here? I'm not joking. So I was in an Uber. My Uber is Russian, so we're a little chitchat.

And this BMW came in fast and furious like with millimeters to spare screeched in front of us very scary I've never seen anything like this and then of course gets to a red light and we were talking like oh my god what the hell it's so crazy and the guy's like is Armenian I know he's Armenian

we pull up right next to him the motherfucker's Armenian and the Porsche pulls up behind him, gets out of the car. Oh my God. And goes right to the window, hands in the window. You motherfucker.

The Armenian is like veins bulging, throwing it right back at him. I will fucking kill you, you motherfucker. And we go, it was so scary. I swear to God, if there was a gun,

it was Kim K. Yeah, it was Khloe. Khloe. But if there had been firearms there was a gun It was Kim K. Yeah, it was Khloe. But if there had been firearms We would have seen somebody get shot. And the Russian guy was just like, Armenia, in Russia you can do that.

Not here in the States. Apparently that's how they drive in Russia. I haven't noticed this, so I have a car here and I noticed that in LA it's about defensive driving. In New York and New Jersey are the L.A., it's about defensive driving. In New York and New Jersey are the only places where it's offensive. Boston, too. Boston, too. New York is like, I'm the only one on the road.

You have to seize. Don't indicate to go over. Indicate, but don't wait. Bitch, take your go when you're going. Changing lanes in New York, it's driving first and then signaling. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. Ask for forgiveness. Well, Boston is actually, it's not really offensive or defensive. It forgiveness, not permission. Ask for forgiveness. Well, Boston is actually,

it's not really offensive or defensive, it's just drunk driving. Drunk driving. I've had great dicking off in Boston. Well, because there's a lot of, it's a very repressed city.

They get that taboo dick. Girl. You get that taboo dick. Girl. You show up with the wig on. I definitely put a wig on in Boston. Oh, mama.

I've been there about three or four times and they were for a gig. So after the gig, I'm like, you. I've only been there 12, I've been about three or four times and they were for a gig, so after the gig, I'm like, you going out tonight? No, girl, I'm staying in. I'm staying in.

I'm just tired. How many times have you pulled the I'm just tired minutes per day? So many times. Tired equals discreet encounters for discerning gentlemen with plenty of on-street parking. Have you ever done just the wig

for the men? I put on just a lipstick. Bitch, full-on balding black man. No way. Yes, not shave legs, not anything. Just a lipstick on. I'm like, hey. Hey, how you doing?

It's that meme. Hey, how you doing? Like, what is the feminized voice? Do you do that whole feminized voice? Do it, give it a little. I mean, I really can't. My voice doesn't do it. So I'll do like, hey, how are you?

Yeah, just a little. Just a cup. Just a little bit higher. A few, like about three semitones. Yeah. You know, you and Bunny talked about it when you guys were talking about it. Because you didn't know about Bunny's phone sex career. Yeah.

Could you believe this story about hard turd? That's crazy. Do you know about this story? I have not heard this story. Bunny used to work at a phone sex line. I mean, that's absolutely not surprising. There was a guy that would call to talk to her. Her name was Pepper.

Pepper. Pepper. Bunny was Pepper. Oh, my God. And the guy would call him. The guy was really into scat. Sure. Or as that guy calls it, poopy doopy or whatever he said.

Poopy panties. And call Bunny to talk about poop. And Bunny goes, I got a big surprise for you. Oh, my God. That's great. Yeah. And, you know, you keep on the phone longer. Yes. They pay more money.

Of course. So Bunny's going, but, like, that hasn't dropped. You know, it hasn't dropped yet. It's going to grow. And then she goes, I'm standing over you in hot, wet diarrhea. And he stops and goes, no. Hard turd only. diarrhea. And he stops and goes, no. Hard

turd only. If you want to hear stories like that, listen to Ebony and Irony, bitch. Hard turd only. Hard turd only, girl. I heard that story before your podcast. Really? From her.

H-T-O. H-T-O. Get that diarrhea Out of my face And you were Doing your phone voice On your show Yeah Oh my god

It's not great What would your sex name be No that's nice My sex name I feel like I'd be an Angie When you pick up the guys Oh you did say Angie When you pick up the guys

Do you say Monet Oh yeah Monet So they know who you are A lot of the time No they I don't If they do They don't

Say they do They don't say they do. Or they wait till after. That's what happens to me. And they'll text me. I'll be like, I had a great time. By the way, love you on Instagram. I'm like, block.

Oh, girl, they pull out of me and go. Block, block. Yes. They pull out of me and go, by the way, a condom broke and Shangela's robbed. And they fucking storm out of my house. Monet, thank you for coming on the show today. Thank you for having me. This was a blast.

Let everybody know where they can find you. Yes, you can find me on Instagram, MonetExchange, Twitter. I like TikTok sometimes. It's too much. It's all too much. And I still frequent the Facebook. A lot of kids turn their back on Facebook. That's so retro.

And tell us again how you're not in Bunny's Generation. You're on Facebook forwarding jokes. Yeah, seriously. I've been to you on Facebook too. I've been seeing you on there.

Oh, sure. I do post on that fan page. No, you're regular. You're old one. I never on that. Oh, somebody got you. Somebody got you. Once a year,

I show up on my own Facebook and I go, is anyone still here? And I wait another year and then I come Facebook and I go, is anyone still here? Yeah. And I wait another year. Yeah. And then I come back and go, are you horse still here? You know what?

Facebook went downhill for me when people stopped posting their statuses and just started posting. They would share articles. Articles. That's a big article thing. Share 12 reasons you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It, as soon as I got on Drag Race, it became like,

because my, my feed Was not curated anymore I accepted too many Friends or something like that You know how you reach I don't know if it's still like that You reach that limit

And all of a sudden I'm looking at this I'm just looking at spam all day If you want to know How extinct Facebook is The most followed drag queen On Facebook is Jujubee Is she really?

Yes Oh that is A relic of a bygone era And that's shade I'm deleting my account. Shade. I hate crickets and magic. I love that.

It works, though. My drag name, Cricket Magic. Cricket Magic sounds like she would sell jugs of a fanny pack at White Party. Oh, you got to go see Cricket Magic. Bath salts. She got all the good shit. Bath salts. She doesn't even lick her own blunt.

She doesn't, you know, get them dirty. She won't lick the roll. Bye. Bye. Well, Angie, thank you. Thank you. Bye, Angie. Bye, guys. Bye.