The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Hot in Many Circles

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Join Trixie and Katya for an intimate conversation about circuit parties, society's obsession with weight, and the socially-responsible act of masturbation. Also featured: tips for the lonely during quarantine. To follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel To follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir. I'm keeping it simple. Starting small. That's trading on Kraken. Pick from over 190 assets and start with the 10 bucks in your pocket. Easy. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Non-investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss.

See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee. Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary.

Eligibility and member terms apply. Oh, do you guys mind if we get intimate this episode? Do you mind if we have just the girls? Is it okay? Would you hold it against us if we just talked a little between just the two of us? Just the two. This is the Bald and the Beautiful. I am Trixie Mattel.

And I'm Katya. And we are two balds. Today we are absent beautifuls. We have no beautifuls here. No beautifuls here. They were here. Now they are not. It's just a couple of balds.

Just a reminder, this is probably, I don't know how many weeks in, but if you haven't subscribed yet, we are here every single week because of COVID. We film them. We record them in my house. Yeah, we certainly do. And what's the tea, girl? Yeah. Shall we talk about some of the trials and the tribulations?

Yeah. Listen. of the trials and the tribulations yeah listen the beauty of i want to talk about the beauty of of simple everyday values sure this is um i mean i will say if we're being vulnerable oh always we are i think i'm a very healthy person spiritually emotionally but not physically yes of course okay look at the material you have been looking very slim trim and fit thank you but i have had really no covid fatigue until recently okay and i have been feeling i don't want to use the word depressed a little a little sometimes down in the dump just like like how long right of long? Right, of course. How long is this going to be? Well, it's like Jackie Beat said online the other day.

She's like, listen, if you are feeling anxious, that's normal. Yes, I've had to keep telling myself like, this is, I'm a very happy person. I'm never that sad. And I've been like, yeah, this is a good test of your human spirit. If you weren't feeling a little something, you might have something wrong with you're probably doing a little something something wrong hello hello preach well you know it's i mean i'm at a point where when i see people being unsafe i take it i normally wouldn't i don't think i would care if it wouldn't make me feel like if we don't all do the most to get through this, we're going to be stuck in it longer.

Mary, you know what I think immediately? I think about, take a look back at the last nine months. Nine months. Of not working, not going out, of our lives and careers screeching to a halt, maintaining, I mean, pretty strict stay at home orders. And then we live in a world where you, what? For what? So that you can go to Puerto Vallarta or to go to Mexico to a gay resort,

which is located in West Virginia. Listen, it's two hours away. It's two hours. I don't understand it. I have, I know, I know non,

you know, the drag race girls have done it, certain notables. But they are, they are, they are dropping a bucket. Dropping a bucket, bitch. I know so many people. The only reason the drag race girls get the most tread is because they're celebs. Notable figures, yeah. But the ratio is one to a thousand of the number of like your Caucasian gay neighbor who went.

Do you know what I mean? I don't fucking get it. I mean, I am legitimately at a loss. Like I understand every form of bad behavior, sometimes intimately. Yeah. If anybody's understanding of self-destructive. Self-destruction and law-breaking.

Selfish, law-breaking, deteriorating health. Going against the grain and going against your best interest, going against the CDC with some of your practices, flipping the bird in the face of mortality. I get it. I get it. This I don't get. I understand.

We're in a world where you and I have yet to even enter the soundstage and sit on a couch and talk. We're still shooting Netflix from home. We only now have been able to negotiate shooting in the same room, just the two of us. Just the two of us. We can make it if we try. But in the end, with stringent COVID regulations, of course,

testing and yada, yada, yada. Not putting anybody else at risk. Thank you. But so I just don't get I don't get the what is it over there that is so promising a circuit party

are you that basic are you that basic Jesus can I just say something controversial have a secret party here have a secret party here invite 12 of your

gay fucking faggot friends and fuck each other in one room don't tell anybody about it I don't I don't want to be homophobic i wish you would and i don't want to be racist against the whites i wish you would possible i wish you would possible

but i used to work circuit parties the type of men that go to circuit parties regularly. It's not the cream of the crop intellectually. Yeah. It's not the cream of the crop emotionally. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm just saying that if you, I don't know, it's an isolated incident. We're talking about Puerto Vallarta like it's the only quarantine breaking that happens.

People are going to each other's houses. Underground New Year's parties. Yes. Underground New Year's parties. It, underground New Year's parties. It's just like this will never end. And it's disappointing to see, I guess, members of our team, the gay community. They ain't my team. But I, okay, so one thing.

And I do have a list of names. You do, yeah. I got the party list. I got the email list. I want, okay, the people who are getting tackled by police at the airport for being at the capital i want that to happen to the gays coming home from port of iarta i know well they and i recently discovered that gays so over gays over covid gays over covid instagram or whatever yes and the circuit gays are issuing a reward for revealing that person's identity the circuit gays want that person

exposed because the circuit gays are saying that covet over gays gays over i want to start the account covet over gays and it's just us dressed as germs being like oh why do they have to be so in your face about it they're they want um if you guys don't know, there's an account that just, it's an screenshots of people's Thanksgiving where it's just a bunch of people in a room. Yeah. I mean, I love, I bought my mom this house.

She moved in January 1st. I wanted to go there and watch her move in. And I knew it was the definition of non-essential travel. Yeah. And I called her and said, I can't go. And I'm just saying, if we all made similar

sacrifices we could get through this faster it's not even rocket science it's actual science exactly this is not right yeah it's actual understandable pretty um uh reasonable science also in the age of technology i mean which we know a lot about yeah mama yeah people don't know this you have a bionic arm i have a bionic arm and my leg is a computer unfortunately it's like a 1998 windows it's a gateway pc it's an imac from 98 um it's a palm pilot um no but the uh and so a couple of things being naturally being an introvert. I'm more inclined not to be so affected socially psychologically about it. But then also having access to so many forms of technology that you can be an instant visual proximity to loved ones and whatever. I mean, I know you need to get your jerked off, right?

People need to get a hand job. They want to fuck something. They want to kiss and rub up on something Get a leg Look what I did I ordered Amazon Legs Arms

You want to make more money Get a leg Get a leg I'm not joking When I put the legs The feet The feet Underneath the couch

It's a different With the toes sticking out Toes sticking out Sometimes I prop them up Sometimes I prop them down It's a different vibe But each vibe is less lonely With the toes sticking out. Toes sticking out. Sometimes I prop them up. Sometimes I prop them down. It's a different vibe. But each vibe is less lonely.

Sometimes, and guess what? Guess what you don't get very much in quarantine? Scared. That's a valuable experience. I put the heads out in different places and forget. Oh my God, people here. People here. People are here no

they're not they're not trick yourself you trick yourself i will say i've been in your studio and i've turned the corner and seen uh let's go with a men's bust with the wig on and i've gone with the shoulders really sell it and it had a wig on it had a male full head of hair so i knew it wasn't us yeah yes i said are you the beautiful that i've heard so much about hello sir i got a whole family three more just came the other day um and it's uh i was thinking america's neck top model um do a little spoof do a little spoof why not yeah america's neck top model let's see what the audience thinks yeah have you seen that video the audience video there's a server and the people at the table are complaining that the food

wasn't good but they've eaten all the food and they're streaming it like look at the server not and the server just goes i mean let's see what the audience thinks and holds the empty plate up to the instagram live incredible it's really fierce incredible so back to okay so back to public shaming of um certain um notable figures of covid it's not that what they've done, they're not out killing people. Well, see, but they are not taking a knife and murdering. No. No. However,

there seems to be a very common misconception about the seriousness of that behavior in that, well, I don't care if I get it is one sentiment yes because i'm young i'm whatever and i want to acknowledge that gay people are often made to feel like their lives and their bodies don't have a lot of value i want to say that maybe some of these people do have some baggage that they don't think that their impact on others or their impact on their own health is important enough to consider. And I know that this is like

in kind of an isolated incident, but this is more of a general thing in general. Like we could have been through this. Look at Australia. Or New Zealand. Look at China. Yeah. We're only here.

Like, I mean, you and I have been, let's be honest, in some ways largely affected. Our tourists have been moved. In some ways. Our tourists have been moved. In some ways. Our tours have been, we should have been touring all year this year. Our lives, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying, because I'm very fortunate to have other revenue streams.

Well, that's what I mean. Yeah. We are lucky to do this. We can do, uh, was built to be green screen. We can cheat it. But still, that has not been hassle free. No, I mean, we're miking ourselves. Miking ourselves.

And I'm sorry, this is again, this is like, I'm not to like complain. I can't make myself. She can't. I noticed in the new episodes, she's being dubbed. It's Millie Bobby Brown.

Look, when I listen, it is a comedy of errors when I try to make myself, but no, our lives are hugely affected. All performers were. And you know, and I,

I want to, I want to acknowledge that of course we are employed we can pay our bills which i know is more than a lot of people can understand yeah yeah but it's just so hard to not lash out when you see these very public displays of who cares yeah i don't have a responsibility to anyone around me what about the people the people who are like it also i just think about the time the months past the months and months and months and months of like staying at home not going out people going stir crazy people not being able to work and then all of a sudden when you decide that you're over it yeah it's all for nothing because

they could negate all of that i These are people who take prep every day. But God forbid. God forbid. We'll still get to the country where, I mean, Mexico is not doing better than us. They have equally overflowed, overflown, overflowed. Overflowed, mama. Overflowed hospitals. Yeah, it's not Atlantis.

It's not like some magical place. Yes. It's, and also, girl, who the fuck cares? For a circuit party? For a circuit party. We're acting like they're going to the Olympics. We're acting like they're going to see a presidential inauguration or the death of a loved one. Mary, it's a speaker.

It's a speaker with a fanny pack. With shit ass music and the same motherfucking kind of stupid boring muscle person to stick your weenie in a person that lives at home this is where oh nothing happened i almost dropped the board this is where people from i mean it's like i love i i don't i don't love the um what is it called? Not Palm Springs. They go to the island. Fire Island. Fire Island. Yeah.

They go to the Fire Island. These are people who live in the same zip code as one another going to a new zip code to fuck. No fucking shit. Mary, you live in the same block. And no offense to the lovely people of Mexico, but y'all ain't that special. And also, you're two hours away. There's nothing in Mexico that is like, in this Mexican resort town that is so incredible, so outlandish, so exotic. I mean, I'm trying to think if, not to mention, you could be bringing diseases to these communities.

No shit. Probably are. You're traveling there. Yeah. We've all been tested. I mean. And what are you going there for? Probably to get dozens of loads up your nasty ass,

which is not like in itself. That's not the value judgment. It's just the social distancing or lack thereof that I'm talking about. I don't want to say I'm bashing circuit parties because I've worked them in my life. I've worked them. I've never gone to one for fun. And maybe I'm being like an ugly goblin goon goblin

because maybe the hot gays who go to the circuit parties will look at me and go, of course you'd have a terrible time. gone to one for fun and maybe it's maybe i'm being like an ugly goblin goon goblin because maybe the hot gays who go to the circuit parties would look at me and go of course you'd have a terrible time because your body there's no currency you have no value no one's gonna look at you but if that is not worth doing this for i would say that the gays having 10 people over for thanksgiving is a smaller crime than travel to a party. Yeah. I mean, that,

cause that's the same way. Like anytime one of us gets postmates, it's sort of a crime. There's a lot of small ways to break quarantine that we're all guilty of. Maybe I've gone and gotten the mail without my mask on or like, you know, sure. Yeah.

Absolutely. When I jog, sometimes I take the mask off if I don't see anyone around. I guess I just don't know how to reconcile with like this level of irresponsibility and also this level of pushback. Like, so what? That's what's fascinating to me. Either the denial, the deflection, or the gaslighting. What about some of these people being nurses and doctors?

Oh, Mary. Well, it's funny. Months ago, I read an article about what was going on in Moscow. There was this crowded bar that was open and there were doctors in there. They were like, listen, sorry. Life can't just come screeching to a halt.

Actually, it can. It's called dying. Yeah, exactly. It's insane. I mean, I got a really, I cut myself in the kitchen the other day just to feel just to feel something

I cut myself off I was talking and they just talked to me I was with Eureka and she said you know people make fun of my weight and sometimes I cut myself a piece of cake for a second I was like you really of cake for a second. I was like, you really had me for a second.

This girl, you really had me for a second. Well, the thing is like, I mean, you know, I cut myself. It was bleeding a lot.

And I did that thing. It was like, Oh God, is this a stitches thing? And then I was like, well, regardless of it, I'm not going to the hospital.

Not in LA. Hi, we're going to take a break. That's right. So we're going to take a break. you earn two times more points on things that matter to you and your business, easily track those business expenses, and experience flexible Aventura rewards, you'll realize how much more rewarding your hustle can be. Get up to $1,800 in value when you apply for the CIBC Aventura Visa for Business at CIBC.com slash Aventura Business. Terms and conditions apply. For those who embrace the impossible, the Defender 110 is up for the adventure. This iconic, award-winning vehicle has been redefined with a distinctive, modern design. A reimagined exterior features compelling proportions and precise detailing.

Built with integrity and purpose, the interior boasts robust, durable materials. Whether it's the all-terrain capability, ample cargo capacity, or innovative camera technology, the Defender 110 lets you go further and do more. And with seating for up to seven everyone can enjoy the journey learn more at land rover.ca and we're back we are back anyway i guess what are some uh let's try to throw out some strategies for people instead of flying to mexico instead of having thanksgiving instead of visiting your mom well okay so okay let's let's break it down so got the feet family family and friends

are two different social um networks that you know a lot of times people really miss their family um people really miss their friends sometimes people don't go fuck about their family but your friends are i would say more important you know what i mean yeah if you know as people especially as important if not more important. We got FaceTime. We got Skype. We need to bring back cyber. ASL, CamperCam. Let me tell you this.

The sex thing, mama, I got zero patience. I got zero patience for it. No, for sex parties, being promiscuous, all that stuff, that kind of thing, that level of social distancing, you need to fucking get acquainted with the fine art of bringing yourself to orgasm. Bringing yourself to climax. Yes, because guess what? There are so many ways, there are so many avenues, and there are so many outcomes, all of which are fantastic.

I'll get in the hot tub, and I will electrical tape. You will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me, you will know me I will I will electrical tape you will know me you will know me alone yourself yes I will electrical tape my clit to that massager and it's over listen

and I'm not this is masturbate for America do it for the world do it for Dr. Fauci and honestly if you are gonna this is kind of

okay in season 7 of True Blood when there's the infected vampires with Hep V. Oh, yeah, yeah. And they're like, every healthy human and healthy vampire pair up. Pair up. You walk home for safety and then feed the vampire. Yeah.

You need to get a trusted neighbor who's like, let's both splurge on a COVID test. Let's go to Dodger Stadium or whatever. And then we can just get it on with each other and promise to COVID fuck. Fuck pod. It's a fuck pod. Fuck pod. Yeah. Fuck pod.

And absolutely. And then that's doable. Like you and I, you and I work together enough that like it's, you know, if one of us, I mean, we have enough,

we have little social interaction that is all very traceable. Like, so if one of us were, um, came in with COVID, the contact tracing process could be very easily implemented. Quarantine could be enacted. It's not going to be a giant event or,

or, you know what I mean? It's the, the impact would be, could be low. I just don't get it. I don't, I still,

I don't get it. And I've talked to people. I've actually talked to people who have gone to these, to, to PV and like like and i'm like i've heard about the parties pv herman hpv it's like why why and i can't get a good answer i was like i would go down there i would consider brit you know stealthily going down there if simone biles was doing the olympics yeah and was going to murder President Trump live.

You know what I mean? If Gabby Douglas was going to crush President Trump's head like a grape using her thighs, yes, I will risk my life. Absolutely. But it's just been so embarrassing because it's one of those things where, wow, we are truly what the world thinks we are.

We are the most selfish. Supermodels, oh, yep. The most selfish. Like, my? Oh, yep. The most selfish. Like, my actions don't affect the many. We all fear socialism, but like a touch of caring about other people right now. Oh my God. It's wild.

I mean, the... My boyfriend's been in Palm Springs for two months. I miss him, of course, but I'm like, if you don't have work to do in LA right now, it's safer for you to not be here. it's just safer to get out i mean you gotta just like it's a it's a hard also it's a hard time for everybody nobody's having like the there's no nobody's living on easy street right now yeah you know well people who don't know how to adapt during this time

are having it worse yeah get in touch with the fact that you probably are going to have to talk on the phone and FaceTime more than you think. Yeah. Learn, get a Harvey. Harvey fully loaded. But these are people who, these are, although I suspect perhaps wrongly that these are the type of people who don't have or want hobbies.

Herbies. Herbies. Their hobbies is drugs and sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, I want hobbies? Herbies. Herbies. Their hobbies is drugs and sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, I want to pop a pill. I want to dance to the most ridiculously crap music. And then I want to take my shirt off. I just want to ask like, and I don't want to hate on hot people because I am hot in

many circles. You know, many circles. Which circles are these? Soapy circles. Soapy circles. Slow soapy circles on my breasts. I'm very hot in many circles. Which circles are these? Soapy circles. Soapy circles. Slow soapy circles on my breath. I'm very hot in many circles. And, you know, in some cultures, even, you know, very hot in some cultures.

Extremely hot. Cultured sour cream. Yeah. I was going to say yogurt cultures. Yes. Active cultures. You know, when they do a swab and they do a culture to see if there's an infection. That's me.

That's my culture. Wait, quick, quick, quick. Did you get the nose nodes the way up there? Yes. It happened right there. This stool that you see before you, $5 from Goodwill, right? Yeah. I put it over there.

The man came in. I said, hello. I sat down. He put it up my nose and it was the deep swab, right? That's what I'm talking about. The deep, deep, deep. Deep, deep, deep. Yeah.

Deep, deep, deep. And he said, this is the deep one. So I'm like, yeah. Mama. At this point, my nose is just a hole sir just a hole a cum dump what did it he put it so far up there that he braced my back of my head on my hand and i my instinct was to fight it and he went nope and pushed my head down on it and it was it was it was i i so bad and i thought I don't know if I can get this again. The brace.

That just made my skin, shook me to the core. There was a drag race queen who said that she was getting nose raped. And she had to apologize. Okay. That's all I'm going to say. That's all I'm going to say. She said that the COVID test was a nose rape and people were like, this is over the line. That's all I'm going to say.

I always say nasally assaulted. You know, say that. Oh my gosh. Well, I mean, listen, and I think that the... What's your strategy been to maintain such poise? Well, see, the thing about poise, elegance, and calm is

just woven into my nature. It doesn't really involve anything strategic. It's more of a natural unfurling of my genetic qualities. There is no situation that catches your beauty truly off guard. No, because when you have the kind of beauty that runs so deep and it is so multifaceted. And you've weathered so much. Well, weathered, I'd say. The weathered girl.

The weathered girl. She's the weathered girl. Listen, I always have a, I'm always navigating a maelstrom of self-induced trauma. So no matter what happens outside, it doesn't really matter. It's been a weird time on this pod because we're so many weeks in and I don't think we've really once truly mentioned that we're doing this in the middle of, you know, when we signed up to do this podcast, we thought we would be glamorously flooding into a studio. Rolling into the studio. I thought I would lay downorously into the studio, rolling into the studio.

I thought I would lay down my coach bag. I don't have exactly. I was like, I'm going to bring a purse. Don't, don't ever carry one, but I'll bring one. And I would go,

we've got 40 minutes to get it. And I'm out of here. But instead it's been us meeting up at my house to plug in all these cords and talk to my computer. Yeah. And it's fine. It's lovely. It's fortunate. I wanted the,

I had in my head, especially I had in my head, and I, especially, I had it all mapped out for some reason, the, the, the,

the guy behind the board, you know, with a beard always. I thought a straight guy. I thought somebody that we could come in and drag once in a while and make,

give him a little chub. I'm going to chub him up a little bit, once a month. Yeah, make sure the leg, put on the, I put on,

you know, my hot look. I have to take off these headphones. I'm so hot. Breasts out, you know, stuff like that. I little bit once a month. Yeah, make sure the leg, put on the, I put on, you know, my hot book. I have to take off these headphones. I'm so hot. Brass out, you know, stuff like that. I put on my sexy look. Yeah, yeah. The patent leather orange brunch boot.

With the yellow fishnet. And a mushroom cut. And a mushroom cut. And earrings that say that bitch. Mine say trust no bitch. Yeah, sorry, fat bitch. That's what my earrings say fat bitch um have you explored any different body types during covid um yeah well yeah i told you i

got the legs i got the the feet no no i've been pretty i've been pretty this has been a really exciting time for people to just, to, to let, let out a few inches emotionally and physically. I love it. I love this. And I like,

I'm a person who doesn't have, I don't worry. Great. You know, I'm grateful. I don't, I've never worried about my weight ever. Um,

it's never really been an issue. Many other things are issues. It's been an issue for us. Yeah. But I, let's just say you got bigger fish to fry. Yeah. Thank you. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. You don Let's just say you got bigger fish to fry. Thank you.

That's exactly what I'm trying to say. You don't go to the doctor and they give you physical. They don't spend too much time on the number on the scale. Yeah, yeah. We're not really concerned about the scale. We're about the fumes that are emanating from your sizzling corpse. So your skin is gray. Did we want to touch on that? So the weight not concerned about, the no pulse is an issue.

The way that an entire layer of skin just fell off your lip. Are you drinking water at all? So the one thing that I like, I like hearing about people's journeys with like, cause I'm fascinated. I've never been like, oh, I'm bored.

So I'll eat. That's never been me. I'm bored. So I'll cook and cook and cook and eat and eat. I've got friends who, this guy, he's gained 50 pounds, 5-0 of muscle.

Interesting. I mean, not all muscle, but he's become this very bulky, bulky, bulky guy. Sexy. Sizzling. Hot. And I don't like skinny people. My preference is not skinny minis. Oh, yeah. I'd rather have extra pounds than very thin. Hot. And I don't like skinny people. My preference is not skinny minis. Oh, yeah.

I'd rather have extra pounds than very thin. Always a little extra rather than not enough. Yeah. And I feel for especially men because I think in women's beauty standards, skinny is always better. And in gay men's world. Well, skinny is always ideal. Yes. That's another thing, though.

How can that change? Girl i mean i'm just gonna it's got to it's fashion now when we address this we're addressing the like fascist regime of women's standards being pressured on them we're not attacking women no no but like but fashion i mean women go to the gym and they use the cardio never touch a weight because they're afraid what if a man sees me being strong we need to reprogram yeah like the perfect we've talked about this to me like the perfect body is like a when i think of like gal gadot or jennifer lawrence or like these characters in these films that just look like beautiful but like athletic like they could run around the corner pick something up and throw it yes they needed to run and eat meals and like

they're also i mean those two particularly those two women you mentioned are also impossibly gorgeous. Gorgeous. I'm curious about how- It's lighting. Gall's lighting. It's all lighting. Just all lighting. I saw her in Overhead Fluorescent.

Dog. John Malkovich. John Malkovich. Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence. Jeffrey Tambor. John Malkovich. Jennifer Lawrence.

Jennifer Lawrence. Jeffrey Tambor. I was just like, this is obviously not a question to ask and answer in under five minutes, but like, I was just wondering about that the other day.

I was like, how the fuck can the, because it really originates, I feel like, in the fashion world. You and I have a lot of influence and I think it starts here. All right,

I'm going to gain 100 pounds. Women of the world who listen to this, eat the food you want. But here's the thing, though. Individually, it's a collective problem that needs to be attacked from the locus of that, which is, I feel like, the fashion world, industry.

Yeah. Stick bodies walking down the runway. Stick bodies. Industry. Yeah. I mean. Stick bodies. Walking down the runway. Stick bodies. That's it. I mean, of course, when we see people like Lizzo getting to enjoy custom red carpet fashions from these designers, it always moves the needle. I just want to see more. I want to see more.

And also, yeah. And I'm tired of the excuse, like, especially, and this trickles down into drag race quite a bit, especially recently in the last five years or so. It's like the, oh, well, that kind of, this person simply having a body that's skinny being praised for being couture just because of the body type. Well. Do you know what I mean? Yes. I mean, I don't know when this episode comes out, but I have had the privilege of seeing a lot of this season ahead of time because of the pit stop on the RuPaul's Drag Race YouTube channel.

And there are some queens where they're like, I don't sew. I don't know what I'm going to do. And it's like, well, you're 70 pounds. So when you strap that little fabric around yourself and you walk, they'll say it's fashion. But if somebody a size 18 did it, size 20, they'd be like, you really just put fabric on. This looks awful. Right.

And it's something that's not addressed um because it's such a big thing how would you begin to address it in a critique on a tv you know what i mean i think i i think it well that needs to fucking start being addressed you know and i and also the uh there are a lot of there's a lot of gradations and um levels from gg good or naomi smiles and i'm not singling them out at being villains or whatever but i'm saying that skinny skinny body type and the big girl there's a lot in between there's a lot in between yes but there's you're either the you're either couture or you're like the big girl yeah think, think of like a Tina Burner. She's not a big girl.

She's not 20 pounds. And that's not even a body type that's like mentioned. Right. But that's what like probably most people look like. Somewhere in that middle. Yeah, and I think with drag race, when the aesthetic ideal skews more often than not towards haute couture, which Mary, I never knew drag. I never knew drag to be couture.

I mean, I know it is now, but like- I only did because every time I put something on. They're like, did John Galliano make that for you, baby? They're like, I don't know, there's a runway show this evening. I don't know. And I'm just in my room in a clown wig and an Amazon swimsuit like, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to give everyone boners on this night. Oh my God, did you break your pants? Did you? Long story short, I want to, we need to stop focusing on women, girls and drag queens weight and start focusing on their dicks. Yes.

And also I hope that in COVID with people exploring various amounts of fitness or letting themselves be this new body type yeah i hope we all come out of it a little more enlightened i hope all this time at home has made people like yeah well i'm gonna let myself be that hungry hungry hippo for two months yeah or how about this i'm going to enjoy and nourish my body in the way that this particular moment calls for and then when i emerge i emerge period yes emerge period. Yes. It's 3am. I want to eat four bowls of cereal.

It's not, if I went to an office tomorrow, I might not, but I don't have to. So I'm going to, and I hope that that people are able to use this time to swing that pendulum and kind of land somewhere where they feel really healthy. Yeah.

And also not to have to like numbers. It's not a triumph or a failure. I mean, yeah. I mean, I uh in the beginning of covid probably 10 pounds did you yeah 10 or 15 even okay and now i'm back down to thinner than when i started but honestly it's only because i've had so much free time and downtime to like to run and stuff yeah and just think about like i've just been trying to use this time to reprogram what's my um

i guess how do i say this what's my relationship with food and what's my relationship with exercising and what reasons with each produce the most natural results for me gotcha eating if i'm hungry exercising because i want to right not exercising because there's a gun and there's a punishment yeah right totally and it's been a lot more successful for me but i know that that's not for everyone no and i but i the simple the simple way i was always taught this is that um food is your friend you eat to live and then also you um that there's no point in exercising um unless it's an enjoy it has to be an enjoyable activity or else it's just a level of self-punishment yes totally you know and there's so many whatever I don't talk about

exercise but there's so many different ways you can but exercise isn't physical activity when you think of it more about what you feel afterward and less about what you look like afterward it becomes more about meditation and self-care than aesthetics. Oh, you can't do the aesthetic. The aesthetic is a byproduct, and you have to let go of that. Of course, it's going to be in your mind, but if that's the primary goal, good luck to you. I mean, did you start doing it when you were doing yoga all the time?

Never. No, no, no. It never occurred to you that it would have bodily changes? No, absolutely not. But I've always been more interested in what I can do than what I will look like. We've been interested to see what you could do as well. We've been waiting. Listen, listen.

And also with yoga though, I'll show you a still photo of the body of a person who can do a one-armed press-piked handstand down and up, down and up, down and up. Nobody can do this in human beings. It looks like Bob Regular. It's like big people. Big people are extremely strong.

There is no exact correlation. And let me tell you something else. These bodybuilder types, they can't raise their arms. No. They can't bend in half. And they can't, a lot of times, can't do intermediate everyday activities. Yeah. Or spring break with a whole fam and a whole lot of sunblock. Or even book last minute and go on a whim.

Choose from over 130 airlines on last minute or peak season travel with no points hike. Switch to RBC Avion Visa and get up to 55,000 bonus Avion points. Limited time offer, conditions apply. Visit rbc.com slash Avion. Oh boy, I should have read the best before date on this milk. Since I'm with Fizz, my unused data transfers to the next month automatically. I forgot things could expire. For monthly data that transfers to the next month, switch to Fizz. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Whether you're practicing your morning breath work, waiting for your favorite artist to come on stage, or running errands at the perfect pace, Liquid IV Powder helps you turn ordinary water into extraordinary hydration so you can live a more extraordinary life.

Live more with Liquid IV Hydration Multiplier. Available in refreshing lemon, lime, passion fruit, and strawberry flavors. Buy a stick in store at Costco, Walmart, Amazon, and other Canadian retailers. I've been doing this like running plan and then one of my like trainers that they say in the ear, it's like so cheesy, but I've started to drink the Kool-Aid so fiercely. She'll be like, when you're running, remember your smile is your wings. So let's fly. And I'm out there running and smiling like a crazy person.

But you know what else they've said in the years that I take to heart? What? Moving like this is a privilege. Anytime you can move your body, it's a privilege and it's going to be something you can't do forever. Ever sprained your ankle. Ever broken a bone. Ever, you know, like lost a limb. Yes. ankle ever broken a bone ever you know like lost a limb yes i've often i've often thought that when

i was in like the bliss of like a yoga flow class like you get like it's a privilege it is ecstatic it is a religious experience and you're like i can't believe i'm a lot like i'm allowed to do this and i'm self-employed many of us are some version of self-employed right now you're at least at home doing responsibilities. Yeah. Or Eden's here. Hi, Eden. Hello, Eden.

Eden, one of the top bitches at Trixie Cosmetics is here. Yes. Recently tested negative for COVID. Tested positive for being a bitch. A cool bitch. In her office, she has a pink sign that says, what does it say? Girl boss. Not the girl boss.

It's the girl boss for me. It's the girl boss for me, sis. What else did they say? They say all kinds of crazy shit. Smile as the wings that is deranged. It smiles your wings, so let's fly, baby. I love that. Yes.

Moving is a privilege. Moving like this is a privilege. Also, if you're self-employed in any way, going for a walk, going for a jog, swimming, whatever, it's one of the only times in the day you do something for yourself with no one else for no one other than yourself. The benefits don't have dividends in other areas. It's just for you.

My whole life is like that. You're like, let me hold it right here. I only do something. Did we talk about beauty? And ultimately, it me hold it right here. I only do something. Did we talk about butane? And ultimately, it's all about getting hot. So when you do go to PV, you can get plugged. Like honey. Fucking opened up.

Gash exploded. You need to park that COVID truck right into this nasty garage. I want that fucking thing. I want my hole to fall out like a squid on the sidewalk. You want to switch on Unsolved Mysteries and see your gash laid bare. I want to be walking naked and I want my asshole to hit the floor and someone go, did you just drop 16 pounds of raw meat? And I go, oh, that was mine oh pv did an indiana jones trap door just

open up oh no that was my a-hole my gaping hole i guess what the the the point of this episode is to remind everybody that this is all temporary. But guess what? Everything is. Everything is temporary. But that shouldn't, that could be what the PV gays are saying. So what? We're all going to die. Yeah, yeah. But also if you do make a mistake, a big mistake like this,

Don't double down. Don't double down. Don't deflect. There is value. And listen, you don't have to take advice from me. Certainly I'm not fucking the Dalai Lama. Or I am not the Dalai L take advice from me. Certainly, I'm not fucking the Dalai Lama, or I am not the Dalai Lama. She's a Lama. I'm fucking the Dalai Lama. But it doesn't really help to deflect, deny, or to gaslight.

You can say you're sorry, or just say nothing. Yeah. But listen, don't take it. So I guess what I'm really saying is, Michel Visage, when you're ready to apologize for going to Puerto Vallarta, we're waiting. And I don't know. I think this is all going to go by in the blink of an eye

in the grand scheme of your life. And the only thing that you can quantify is what you leave this experience with. And there's a lot of ways to pamper yourself and leave with something. Yeah. Instead of leave with things you're going to be ashamed of. Yeah. Especially if when you have,

when you're, when you're like, you know, if you're in the fortunate position to kind of, to have some time for reflection, you don't have thought about, am I going to have to at some point remind myself not to be afraid of people? Do you know what i mean am i

gonna forever be on a jog and see a person and go around them am i gonna think six feet forever am i gonna second guess every social interaction forever i i mean if this happened if this goes on for another year yeah it's gonna be weird i i mean I'm already not big on crowds. Like, I prefer to be on the stage alone. Yeah. When it's a crowd. You know what I mean? We don't even prefer that. The audience doesn't even want that.

No. Anyway, protect yourselves. Yeah. Protect each other. Call your mom and call her safely from a distance. And rub it out. Rub it out. Rub it out. Rub it out.

Here's the goal. Flick that bean. Here's the goal. Here's a quick goal. And it's very doable. I've done it myself. For those with a prostate, make yourself come without touching yourself. You can stick something up in there, but try to get to the point where you can actually

achieve orgasm without touching yourself. Fellas, do you like good juicy prostate? Get yourself a plug. Let me tell you. Fellas, is it gay? Is it gay? Is it gay, fellas? Because I'm telling you, that happened to me.

I did it. It was wild. Did you live? Transcendent, literally. Yeah. Anyways. And there's no shame attached. There's no social responsibility there.

Nothing. You don't even need the internet, mama. Tea. Tea. Okay responsibility there. Nothing. You don't even need the internet, mama. Tea. Tea. Okay. Goodbye. Bye.