The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Kelly Mantle's Trixie the Cable Girl Nightmare with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

'Twas a dark, menacing Los Angeles winter's eve, with nary a soul walking the deserted streets of West Hollywood. A strong, dry Santa Ana wind blew down from the mountain passes to make one's skin itc...h and nerves curl. On nights like this, anything can happen. Even a sudden knock at the door of Kelly Mantle's palatial mansion as the clock strikes twelve. What is waiting on the other side? Why, it's Trixie the Cable Girl, wearing overalls and threatening to climb the gutters to sabotage your cable connection. If you don't check out Kelly's amazing new podcast "The Kelly Mantle Show" at: https://bit.ly/TheKellyMantleShow, don't be surprised if you're also visited by Trixie the Cable Girl at the stroke of midnight, for all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. If you want more space, more privacy, a better location, and the most loved homes, check out https://Airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app today! Try VIIA today! Head to: https://viia.co/BALD and use code BALD for 15% off! This year, get your gut going with Ritual! Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Follow Kelly: @KellyMantle Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. Gather round children as I'd like to tell you a tale. A tale about a haggard drag queen who had just finished a whirlwind tour and was in desperate need of a trip. And as most of you already know, trips are simply better with Airbnb. Late one night after returning home, tired and barely able to keep my eyes open, I opened up the Airbnb app and searched for an escape. A place east of Los Angeles where I could relax, recuperate, and rejuvenate all by myself amidst the peace and tranquility of the California desert. After checking out a few listings, I happened upon the place that dreams are made of. An orange frenzy of mid-century post and beam
Starting point is 00:00:39 architecture complete with vintage details like period furniture, amazing art on the walls, and a conversation pit that would make even Don Draper swoon. I booked it immediately and set to packing for my glorious high desert getaway. After a few days of solitude, I invited a few friends and we made excellent use of the multiple bedrooms and bathrooms. A hotel would not have worked for us at all. With Airbnb, you can stay close and hang out in the living room rather than a crowded lobby. And while hotels are filled with strangers, we had the entire house and yard to ourselves, allowing us to enjoy the serenity of true privacy. It was the perfect trip and the perfect way to
Starting point is 00:01:16 recover for an absolutely insane tour. Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore. Don't get me an HD. Kelly, don't use your sexy voice, please. This is my sexy voice.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Jesus, you're gonna fuck me. Are you gonna fuck me? Wait, do I have... Is this on? Oh, I was expecting to hear a PA system. Get it all out now before your husband comes because... Are we filming? I ran into your husband. James, can we... We're just talking about your husband. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Hold on, let me find the placement of this microphone so it can cover my face. All right, perfect. Why are you Barbara and Oprah Winfrey right now? You're like. I know I'm slouching. I'm always like that. Even when I sleep, I sleep like a vampire.
Starting point is 00:02:20 I love your outfit. You sleep in a chair. James is all over the place. Like he's a Wiggle City Limit. And I'm literally, like... Wiggle City Limit? Wiggle City Limit, sonny. You sleep like Dracula.
Starting point is 00:02:32 I do the same thing. But you dress like Dracula. She is... Little people don't know this. She was in Ryan Murphy's American Horror Story Coven. You were in almost every scene. And then they had to cut you out because of that scandal. The scandal. Oh, right. You fucked all cut you out because of that scandal. The scandal.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Oh, right. You fucked all those football players. The Shake Weight scandal. The Shake Weight scandal, because I was trying to turn Jessica Lange on with a Shake Weight. Oh. And so they made me lead the set. And they tried to press charges, right?
Starting point is 00:03:03 Yes. Honey, I'm always dressed for a funeral. I mean, it's usually my own. But this is actually Kate Moss. Kate Moss? Yes, I didn't even know she had a clothing line. She's got an agency. Yes.
Starting point is 00:03:13 We look gorgeous as usual. Well, I tried it on in the dressing room, and I immediately wanted to snort coke and tear up a hotel room, honey. I felt like the only 90s supermodel. It was amazing. But that's how you felt before you put it on. Well, this is true. No, that's who you were before you put it on. Are those ruched leggings? Speaking of supermodel, it was amazing. But that's how you felt before you put it on. Well, this is true.
Starting point is 00:03:25 No, that's who you were before you put it on. Are those ruched leggings? Speaking of supermodels, the Alex Contean. You better shut up when Kelly's talking. Wait, what did you say? I'm trying to get into that. I'm sorry, what did you say? No, I don't want to overlap.
Starting point is 00:03:35 I just asked if those were ruched leggings. They are. Do you know, your girl made these. Amy. You had Amy make you black leggings? Yes, well, it was part of a gown. Oh, I was like, you had her just make casual separates, you bitch. I really want some cut-off jeans.
Starting point is 00:03:51 She's a woman of sports and leisure. Amy, can you make me some Jinko jeans? I like the fishnets under. Well, you know, I love a good fishnet into a shoe. Oh, yeah. All that just for that. Yes. You could wear a fishnet sock. Well, the problem is, well, it is a sock.
Starting point is 00:04:10 That's the problem. The problem is I wanted to go bare-legged, but I can't. She looked over here like... I wanted to go bare-legged, but I was cursed with knobby knees. Mama, nobody goes bare-legged. Yes. Nobody does. Not when you're sitting in chairs
Starting point is 00:04:30 that are too low to the ground because your knobby knees are the only focal point. Knobby knees. You two have rather, let's say, kind of like long legs. Long, slender legs, slender. Yeah. Leggy.
Starting point is 00:04:44 It has been too long since I have been bullied by these two every day of my life for a year and a half. No! You want to talk about bullied? We ever had you on here together? I don't think so. No, we've never had a menage-a-tois together. I left this. I had you in my drag studio in West Hollywood once.
Starting point is 00:05:00 That was way long ago. I did one with you and I did one with you in the pink studio. Now we're blue. What do you think about the blue, Kelly? Blue, if true. It reminds me of a place I used to stay at a mental hospital. When I first moved to LA, I had like a mental breakdown for a minute
Starting point is 00:05:23 and they threw me in the loony bin because words would not form out of my mouth. And the only way I was able to speak is if I was holding a guitar and strumming it. And so when my agent like called, I would have to pick up a guitar and start strumming it in order to speak to him and be like, hello, how are you? I mean, it wasn't anything masterful. It was like A to C to D. But that's what the color of the walls was when they put me in there. It was only for like a week and a half.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Wow. I know. But it's also like a Tiffany blue. Right. Very Cartier. Is it Tiffany or Robin's egg? Ooh, good question. A little bit of both. I don't know. People have very strong feelings about it. Some of the comments are like, I killed my family. Yeah, that blue killed my whole family.
Starting point is 00:06:10 That blue is, is, is nice. That blue is the reason the aliens won't talk to us. She like that. Kelly, one time, um, I just want to talk about bullying Kelly. I remember we were on tour during Trixie and Katya Live. Some of you might have seen Kelly in it last year, two years ago. It was so much fun. And it was when I quit drinking and Kelly goes,
Starting point is 00:06:28 oh God, Kelly goes, it's bad enough. That one doesn't drink. And I hear you're back on the bottle. Thank God, honey, I have lost too many friends to sobriety. No offense, I want you to stay sober. I will still be your friend, but I've lost too many friends to sobriety. Thank God, as you're back on the bottle.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Well, you know, Kelly, you act like when I was drinking, you and I would just tear up the night. Kelly, you would stay in that venue, drinking in your own, in your dressing room, eating ham and cheeses. We would have the only Kiki in the dressing room with our little wine and our little crackers and cheeses and cheeses.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Katya was already passed out in her hotel room. She's in bed with a towel on the head at 8.30 in the bus. The show's not even over, and she's on the bus in bed. And Trixie and I would hang out in the dressing room until the venue closed. They'd have to kick us out most nights. I love that idea. I love that. What? I wish I loved the taste. I love that. What? I wish I loved the taste. Wine tastes like shit to me.
Starting point is 00:07:29 Oh, honey, I don't love the taste of it. I only drink it to get drunk. Oh, okay. And that's why I don't understand non-alcoholic... Do you drink non-alcoholic beverages? My brother does, and that is the weirdest fucking thing. I can't think of anything weirder. I don't understand it, because I'm like,
Starting point is 00:07:40 if it doesn't get you drunk, what is it? You're doing it for the taste? It's like smoking cat shit. That is weird. I've had some sparkling canned rosés that if you put them on ice, like, you know, drinking, it's kind of nice. It's not better than a Pellegrino. No, it's not better than a Pellegrino. But sometimes it's something different, something fun to do.
Starting point is 00:07:56 And it gets you tipsy. It gets you out and about in the community. I have an iced coffee. I've been drinking iced coffees lately. Are you cleaning out? Mm-hmm. It's time. Colon broom. It's been years, 80.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I heard, overheard in the dressing room that your husband's picking you up today. Does that mean you've been drinking today already you can't drive yourself? No, I don't drink during the day. Would you submit to a breathalyzer right now? No. I ran into your husband in public.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Oh, that's what he told me. What a mensch, what a guy. Oh, that's what he told me. What a mench. What a guy. Oh, he's so hot. He is so hot. Y'all. I mean, listen, I told him the other day, I said the biggest gift you could give me is to go blind because then I wouldn't have to worry about what I look like all the time.
Starting point is 00:08:39 My God. Oh, blind. I thought you said blonde. Blind. Well, obviously, I mean, I don't want to put words in his mouth, but a beautiful woman like you, I'm assuming being able to behold you is part of the fun of the deal. It's fine for now, but can you imagine in like 10, 15, 20 years?
Starting point is 00:08:54 We need him to go blind. Well, you still love me when I'm no longer... Young and beautiful... Why don't you poke his eyes out? Oops, oops, I did it again. That's a good idea. Start with one eye and then you do the other one. Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Maybe I will. Well, by then, perhaps like you'll be an economic ruin and you'll have no lights out in your house. So just sit around and face tape or your new pod takes off so fiercely that you get all the surge. Oh. And you poke his eyes out.
Starting point is 00:09:23 And I poke his eyes out. And I poke his eyes out. We have Kelly here today because we are involved in her brand new podcast, Kelly. Tell us about the podcast. You all are executive producers. Did you know this before today? We just learned about it. I just saw the deduction from my checking account.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Yep. Right, exactly. To be honest, Kelly, you're one of the only people I would ever get involved with in that way because I believe in everything you do. Yes. You know, I don't even think I've ever gotten a chance to publicly thank you all face to face
Starting point is 00:09:48 for all the opportunities that you have infiltrated onto my life. And I'm eventually gonna have to take a break like a struggling drag queen like Trissy Mattel. Because it is so much work. But yes, I just wanna hold hands right now and thank you all. When you did that, what was the line?
Starting point is 00:10:06 What was the line? This is the... you will get... Before you get totally assassinated. What was the line? Oh, yeah, from Eagleheart. That was the best thing I've ever seen in my life. When you walk into the courtroom and you kill the judge. What did I say?
Starting point is 00:10:19 You said, I want you to see... The judge is like, is it he? Before you get completely assassinated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Completely assassinated. Completely. And I added the completely. That is so funny. It needed to make, it needed like one extra like... Not partially.
Starting point is 00:10:35 No. Not partially assassinated. Completely assassinated. Completely assassinated. So funny. Also, first of all, I didn't see the whole episode, but obviously one of the plot points was gender, because you walk in and the judge goes,
Starting point is 00:10:48 ma'am, sir, like doesn't know who you are. That's what I love about that episode. And you know, that was on Adult Swim. And I just loved that network and everything that they produced, General Hospital and all those shows. And it was so ahead of its time because it was talking about a non-binary character before they even, not General Hospital and all those shows. And it was so ahead of its time because it was talking about a non-binary character before they even, not General Hospital, the soap opera.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Children's Hospital. Oh, is it called Children's Hospital? I was like, what? Children's Hospital. You know, Cartoon Network and General Hospital. Adult Swim is the team. But it was so ahead of its time. And so I really loved that.
Starting point is 00:11:21 It was so cool. And then I got blown up later, which was amazing. I did. Did you screen yours? Yes. They had to put all these contraptions right here on my body underneath my trench coat. Oh, fierce.
Starting point is 00:11:35 And like you feel it go off and it's like a shock to the heart. Oh, my God. Sag-Aftra. Sag-Aftra. Sag-Aftra, honey. Jews are... Did you pay your dues? Fuck yeah. Okay. I'm always up... Jews are... Did you pay your dues? Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Okay. I'm always up on my dues. I get those screeners, Hanny. Get those screeners, Hanny. I get those screeners too. I never watch any of it. But they used to send DVDs and now they just send crysos. It feels less exciting.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I'm going to the premiere of Nosferatu tomorrow. Are you? Yeah. Or on the 12th. I am so excited. I wanted to go with you. I think I might dress up as the vampire, which will take me about three minutes. I was also invited and I thought maybe we were both invited
Starting point is 00:12:10 and if I was available, I was gonna say, let's go as fucking vampires. Yeah, I think me and Andrew are gonna do it. Oh my God, you totally should. You think so? Yes. It's not stupid? No. Not at all.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Okay, okay. It's perfect. Because I really do look like Nosferatu. I love that. Have you ever seen that clip of Selena Gomez and she has like blue in her hair and she's like, yeah, I just wanted to put a little blue in the hair for the Teen Vogue party.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Yeah. That's gonna be you with like your shitty vampire cheese. For the Teen Vogue party. For the Nosferatu premiere. I love that. You know what, I love how, you know how you love to use prosthetics and stuff. If you did all of the facial prosthetics,
Starting point is 00:12:45 you could pull off the guy from Poltergeist. Oh, Kane, I don't need the prosthetics. No, you do need the prosthetics. You're far too beautiful. But they're on the screen door. Oh my God, that would be amazing. Can I come inside? Huge of truth.
Starting point is 00:12:59 There's a guy who's gonna die. No, I don't need any prosthetics, unfortunately. Yes, you do. Kane. Kelly, you're obviously the any prosthetics, unfortunately. Yes, you do. Kane. Kelly, you're obviously the epitome of glamour. If you ever got opportunities, do you like to play like old nuggly, gross monster? Oh, honey, I love to get my Meryl Streep's on. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:15 And you think that Meryl's old and ugly? No. What I mean by that is like in August of Osage County, you know, she has the cancers and everything and like there's the, you know, the thing where she's like, you know, her little low stumbles of hair coming out. I can smell it. You want to do, you want to do Glenn Close and the deliverance. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:32 I do. Those little sharp teeth. I want that. I love that. Because when you're playing, when I'm playing a character, I don't feel so like you're the character. Yeah. You know? I mean, look at Sandy. She was a mess. She was horrible looking.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Beautiful teeth, Kelly. She was not horrible looking. Thank you. They're not real. They're incredible. They're the character. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, look at Sandy. She was mad. She was horrible looking. Beautiful teeth, Kelly. She was not horrible looking. Thank you. They're not real. They're really there. Well, they're, They are present.
Starting point is 00:13:52 They are here. They're with us. We're here. The spirit of the myth. We were here before we were here. We were here. We were here. We were here.
Starting point is 00:14:01 We were here. We were here. We were here. We were here. Hi, it's Trixie. and this episode is sponsored by Airbnb. I am from Wasaki, Wisconsin. I recently went up to Wasaki, Wisconsin, and that area only has like two motels really in the area of where that is.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And I went on the website, I wasn't really sure about it. I wasn't sure about the accommodations. I wasn't sure about the price based on what I was getting. And I didn't want to stay at a hotel that was attached to a gas station. So, you know, I just, Airbnb for that area was the way to go. It was easy to use the wifi, the laundry.
Starting point is 00:14:36 I mean, and I just brought things like eggs and toast. And because it was a real cabin, they had pots and pans and spatulas. And, you know, instead of when you're staying somewhere remote where it's not like you can just like get food delivered, it was really great to be able to like just cook for myself. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:14:54 If you guys ever want to go to Wasaki, look for the cabin by Jodi. It was so beautiful and perfect. It was like five bedrooms and it was so affordable. And I didn't even need all those bedrooms, but it was a really, it was like, why not? It was so affordable and I didn't even need all those bedrooms but it was a really it was like why not it was really affordable and my favorite thing as well as it just felt I don't know am I really gonna go to like remote Wisconsin you know most of my family's all my all my family's moved to
Starting point is 00:15:14 Milwaukee now so I didn't have like a home to stay in so I really got that hometown feel and I don't think I would have got that if I was staying in a hotel honestly you guys I've even stayed in Aaron B a B's on the dry queen tours got that hometown feel. And I don't think I would have got that if I was staying in a hotel, honestly. You guys, I've even stayed in Airbnb's on the Drag Queen tours. There was one Drag Queen tour I was on where it was like me and two or three other big famous drag queens all staying in a house together.
Starting point is 00:15:36 And like the memories I have of us like playing board games or like, you know, hung over making breakfast in the morning is like really core memories of what made those trips special. I can't remember a lot of the hotels I've stayed in, but I can remember every single Airbnb I've stayed in. If you want more space, more privacy, a better location and the most loved homes,
Starting point is 00:15:54 check out airbnb.com or download the Airbnb app. That's arbnb.com. Take it from the queen of relaxation, you owe yourself a trip. And trips are always better with Airbnb. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at VIA. You guys, is it cuffing season?
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Starting point is 00:18:47 cross dresser bar something peanuts, but before we... 7969 peanuts. Do you know about this? No. Okay, tell her. Oh my God, you would have left it girl. Where is it? Cause I know your stories.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I know your stories. Girl, she used to go to a doll house with the girls, the boys would go meet the dolls, called 7969 peanuts. Pean kitten. Not the not the cat splat or whatever that the sexy names. Seven nine six nine peanuts. Peanuts. On seven nine six nine Santa Monica Boulevard. No, no. P-E-N-I-S?
Starting point is 00:19:15 Peanuts. Do do do do do do do peanuts. It was a bar. Hot and roasted. Seven nine six nine Santa Monica Boulevard is still there. It's something else now. Raja would perform there. Delta would perform there. RuPaul would come and watch the show. And it was a bar for the dolls.
Starting point is 00:19:30 7969 Peanuts. I just feel like there's a branding issue. I just feel that doesn't, that to me sounds like you sell peanuts at the mall. It could have been like... It's giving pretzels pretzels. It could have been like the lavender room. It could have been the...
Starting point is 00:19:42 Right. The kitty cat club. Yeah. Peanuts. The dollhouse. It's like been the... Right. The kitty cat club. Yeah! Peanuts? The dollhouse. It's like, hey, do you want to meet me out for a drink? Yeah, where should we go? How about the peanuts?
Starting point is 00:19:51 Like, I don't know about that. Seven, nine, six, nine, peanuts. Seven, nine, six, nine, peanuts. And then the other one that I was telling Trixie they had was called the Lodge. But that was where all the cross dressers would go, like the trappers. That's not giving crossy. No. The Lodge is giving, like, DL. And it not giving crossy. No. The lodge is giving like DL.
Starting point is 00:20:06 And it looked like a lodge. It was very, everything was brown. No. And wooden. Katya and I always lament like the... When I first started doing drag especially, the presence of cross dressers in the clubs, I felt was more prevalent.
Starting point is 00:20:21 It was the drag queens and like, you know, I don't know how to describe it to the men who dress up for the public turn on of cross-dressing. Cross-dressers, yeah. Which is a different reason than drag queens or trans women, you know what I mean? Well, for one, they don't like crowds.
Starting point is 00:20:39 They don't like big crowds of girls that are not their target. You know what I mean? They're not going to meet blue hairs. Right. But they have a convention. They sure... Tiffany Club. Is it in Boston?
Starting point is 00:20:50 They have it... There's one in Boston, but it's the... Tiffany Club is one of the... Yeah. And usually they show up with their wives, because their wives are usually supportive of their cross-dressing. Oh yeah, they're always straight. Usually, yeah. And they love the dolls. They love the dolls. They love the dolls. They love the dolls.
Starting point is 00:21:05 They love to put their little kitten heel on and wobble through the kitchen with the selfie stick. Yes. Oh really? Oh yeah. I do that. Lauren Desire. Am I across the street?
Starting point is 00:21:15 Yeah. And then sometimes, I just remember being younger and sometimes it's like, you know what? You're all right, gal. And then they start hitting on you and you're like, you're not that old. I know. I'm like, girl, this ain't that kind of kiki. We ain't gonna turn the kiki into a kai kai.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Have you done the kai kai? No. Oh, Jesus. Absolutely not. That's the only thing she hasn't done. No, I have not done the kai kai. You wouldn't? Huh?
Starting point is 00:21:35 You wouldn't have a kai kai, a three way with your husband? No. No. You ain't woman enough to take my man. I mean, listen, you ain't woman enough to take my man. I don't know. I mean, I have been in many lesbian relationships. What? Yes, I've been in many lesbian relationships. My very first girlfriend, like, real relationship,
Starting point is 00:21:58 she was a Madonna lookalike. She, like... For real? Yeah, for real. It was Venus Delight. No. Ha-ha-ha For real? Yeah, for real. It was Venus Delight. No. Girl, that scene of her hitting the mirror
Starting point is 00:22:11 in the dance room and the thing and the thing. You ever seen this? No. It's Kelly, let it rip. What is it? I am Madonna and then she takes the wig off. Venus. It's fucking... From which show?
Starting point is 00:22:24 She was on a television program about like, I'm obsessed. And she was- I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with it. And her obsession was impersonating Madonna. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And she struggled with the push and the pull of being this other person, but not being this other person and her identity between the two. It's amazing. It is cinematic. I don't have to watch it. If you were going to be a celebrity impersonator, do you get somebody a lot?
Starting point is 00:22:47 Like when you're up in the drags, do people have like, oh, you look like... Y'all, I get Taylor Swift all the time. I can see that. All the time. I was in an Uber the other night in a little SUV, and I was back there on my phone, and I had the window rolled down,
Starting point is 00:23:03 and there were two gays at best stop and they were like Taylor? Look over. Dane? And I know. Tim the tool man Taylor? And I roll up the window and it goes up and they're like, oh my God, that was Taylor Swift. Like I heard them scream like that because I had like bangs and like the thing. Shitty blonde hair.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Yeah. I think next time that happens, you should lean out the window and go like, I say it too late! And just pull away. So that you have your guitar. It's either that, exactly, especially when I'm playing my guitar, but it's either that or Christine Baranski. So it's like a whole spectrum.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Which is night... I mean, that's like mother-daughter. Total. Yeah. That's fierce. She's quite pretty. I'll take it. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:23:43 I fucking love her. Yeah, if you had to, if you worked at a club that demanded at least one celebrity impersonation, who would you do? See, I'm terrible at impersonation. Who wouldn't you have to? Like, you know, like somebody does Cher, somebody does Madonna. Do you think you'd just out like a shitty dolly or something? I think no.
Starting point is 00:23:57 See, I can't do that. Who would I do? I would do Cher. Yeah, Cher. I would do Cher. You got the eyes. Yeah. I love you. I love you Cher. Yeah, Cher. I would do Cher. You got the eyes. Yeah. I love you.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I love you, Chaz today. Even Chase. Wait, what's his name? Chaz. Chaz. I love you, Chiaz. Chiaz. Cheers.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Cheers. Cheers, where's? I love you, Chiaz. What is that? That's actually, listen, in this group, that's a great Cher. Seriously. Because, you know, it can get a lot worse.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Yeah, it can get a lot fucking worse. I love your share. Your shoes are absolutely bewitching. Thank you. Do you drive, Kelly Mantle? Do I drive? Yeah. She drives like a sports car.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Honey, I love to drive. I love my muscle cars. I like to put the top down. You should drive. I have a 79 Camaro with teatops. We take those teatops off, honey. The tea girls and the teatops, girl. And are you a safe driver?
Starting point is 00:24:51 Are you kind of mowing people down? I'm a Haleian. No seatbelt in the car. Oh, sometimes. The car's flying down the road. She's in the back seat, whipping her hair. If the seatbelt doesn't match your outfit. That's huge if true.
Starting point is 00:25:11 Can I tell you, I feel that way about purses. If it doesn't match, don't leave it at home. I don't understand a mismatched purse. And for DJing, headphones. Headphones have to, like, somewhat go with the outfit. Very down. Because you have pink ones. Pink ones, black ones, rhinestone ones.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Oh, really? I can love when you DJ. Well, thank God. Do you remember when we went to that club there in, I think it was Australia? Oh, that was bad. That was so good. That was actually really fun. That was fun.
Starting point is 00:25:33 And I love that you always throw in, give me, give me, give me a man after midnight. Yeah, you play a good selection. That's been one of my go-to ending ones for years because it's impossible to beat. Like, people love that song. So good. The other one I end with when people are really drunk
Starting point is 00:25:48 and I want them to really turn up is the, I love it. I love it. Oh, the Iconopop one? Yes. Have you ever meshed Gimme Gimme Gimme a Man After Midnight into Madonna's Hung Up?
Starting point is 00:25:57 They're so similar. I know. Well, she actually samples it, yeah. Yeah, it's like a sample, and it's like a, she kind of misplaces it and reverses it. And she didn't sing it when I saw her, which really, I love that, it's like a sample and it's like a... She kind of misplaces it and reverses it. She didn't sing it when I saw her, which really... I love that song and she didn't sing it.
Starting point is 00:26:09 That's my absolute favorite Madonna song. She didn't add that to her tour, did she? And she didn't sing L, U, V, Madonna, which I love, and she didn't sing Beautiful Stranger. Those are like my three faves. Well, those aren't concert songs. I know. But Hung Up is her... I feel like her best song.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I know. I was really surprised it wasn't part of it. I was hoping she was going to add Rescue Me to... Rescue me! That's like a deep cut though. I know, but she said in an interview that she would add it. I think Bob helped her with the set list. It's all y'all thought Bob. What would your set list be? Madonna's like,
Starting point is 00:26:39 Hi, you're my set list manager. Shut up. Do it right now. Get Here. Never heard it. Get Here If You Can on it's on Confessions. Oh. It's song number two.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Okay. Get Here. I've hung up. Anything from Confessions, anything from Like a Prayer. She'd have to throw in Burning Up. She did Burning Up in this tour. She did Burning Up. I think she opened with it, didn't she?
Starting point is 00:27:05 She played her guitar. She talked about her days at CBTV. Yes, exactly. I mean, there's so many. Frozen. Um, I mean, my gosh. I wanted to do bedtime story or like human nature. Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Secret. Yes. My baby's got a secret. Some of them I wouldn't have asked to see like like, in my dream list, but then like when she did Ray of Light, I loved it. But I wouldn't have really thought of like, can't wait to hear Ray of Light, but then live I loved it. And I loved Borderline.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Borderline was great. And Burning Up was awesome when she did it. Hey, Mr. DJ, put a record on. I want to dance with my baby. For the girls who have all those hits, though, I mean, how many can you fit in one? You got to kill your babies a little bit. I know, that's wild. I mean, that woman, my gosh, I'm just...
Starting point is 00:27:52 I just saw Cindy when I did her thing. Oh, you did Cindy! It was so cute. And she did basically everything I hoped she would do. Including when you were mine with that Prince song. Yes, I loved the cover of the Prince song. I was like, it's not a... It's a Prince song, maybe she won't do it.
Starting point is 00:28:07 And she... It was amazing. I was like... Did she do, And I'm heading west? No. Sorry, girl. I love that song. I love that song. True Colors was horny.
Starting point is 00:28:18 She had this long, grey, bald scarf with this fan that blew the scarf straight up in the air. And she was holding it, singing True Colors, and it was all super gay. And at the the end she let it go and it flew away. Wow. It was... What was it like being on stage singing with her? Were you just like...
Starting point is 00:28:31 Terrifying. Terrifying. Terrifying. And girls just want to have fun is a hard key. Oh, I just sang it an octave lower. She was like, all right, girl, I messed up one of the words and she stopped the whole rehearsal. In a nice way.
Starting point is 00:28:42 She was like... She kicked her in the cunt. No, she was like, Trixie, this is a song of protest. You said, and daddy. She's like, no, it's, it's, but you're not agreeing with your father. You're a woman. She was like, you're a woman and this is what you want. Don't try to, don't meet your dad halfway. Tell that man what you want. And I was like, damn. Girls just want fundamental rights.
Starting point is 00:29:01 She says it's a song of protest. It has to have integrity. And I was like, listen, girls just want equal pay. Yep. Damn. And it's not even hers. Right. She told me that. She told me she changed. She changed a couple of...
Starting point is 00:29:12 Changed some of the lyrics. Is it the words, boys want to have fun? It was girls don't want to have fun. I think it was written by a man though, wasn't it? It's wild. Perhaps. This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Everywhere I go, I find myself in a place wasn't it? Wild. Perhaps.
Starting point is 00:29:31 This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Everywhere I go, it's the same thing. Whether I'm at the opening of my friend's Artisan Mashed Potato pop-up or walking my neighbor's pet goat Wilhelm Rammstein, it seems like everyone is talking about the gut microbiome these days. When I visited my friend Hercules Starburst to try on the new dress he was making for this year's live Bald and Beautiful tour, he couldn't stop talking about his gut microbiome. He told me all about his flora and fauna and how the microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity, and of course, digestion. He even sang me a song called If Your Tummy Is Bloated and You're Stuck at Home, Ritual Has Got Your Back, Your Belly, and Even Your Biome. It was horrible, but take it from both me and Hercules. With Synbiotic Plus, a 3-in-1 supplement of clinically studied pre-, pro-, and post-biotics,
Starting point is 00:30:12 you can help support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. For instance, do you know the difference between prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics? They sound super similar, but it's actually fascinating how they work together. Probiotics contain the live microorganisms themselves, the kind that make up a flourishing microbiome. Prebiotics contain the nutrients that microorganisms need, and postbiotics are natural byproducts that support the gut barrier. And while both Hercules and I have both raved about how Ritual Simulotic Plus helped transform us from gassy monsters to cool, calm, and regular pooping members of society.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Scientists are also praising Ritual. In a study that modeled the human colon, Symbiotic Plus increased the growth of beneficial bacteria and microbial diversity. It's designed with a delayed-release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach, an ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow. All it takes is one daily mint-scented capsule for simple, streamlined gut support. Plus, it's vegan-friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, or artificial colors. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual's Synbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's ritual.com slash bald for 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald.
Starting point is 00:31:25 That's ritual.com slash bald for 25% off your first month. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. Gather around children as I'd like to tell you a tale. A tale about a haggard drag queen who had just finished a whirlwind tour and was in desperate need of a trip. And as most of you already know, trips are simply better with Airbnb. Late one night after returning home, tired and barely able to keep my eyes open, I opened up the Airbnb app and searched for an escape. A place east of Los Angeles where I could relax, recuperate, and rejuvenate all by myself amidst the peace and tranquility of
Starting point is 00:32:00 the California desert. After checking out a few listings, I happened upon the place that dreams are made of. An orange frenzy of mid-century post and beam architecture complete with vintage details like period furniture, amazing art on the walls, and a conversation pit that would make even Don Draper swoon. I booked it immediately and set to packing for my glorious high desert getaway. After a few days of solitude,
Starting point is 00:32:24 I invited a few friends and we made excellent use of the multiple bedrooms and bathrooms. A hotel would not have worked for us at all. With Airbnb, you can stay close and hang out in the living room rather than a crowded lobby. And while hotels are filled with strangers, we had the entire house and yard to ourselves,
Starting point is 00:32:40 allowing us to enjoy the serenity of true privacy. It was the perfect trip and the perfect way to recover for an absolutely insane tour. This episode is sponsored by Airbnb. Gather around children as I'd like to tell you a tale. A tale about a haggard drag queen who had just finished a whirlwind tour and was in desperate need of a trip. And as most of you already know, trips are simply better with Airbnb. Late one night after returning home, tired and barely able to keep my eyes open, I opened
Starting point is 00:33:10 up the Airbnb app and searched for an escape. A place east of Los Angeles where I could relax, recuperate, and rejuvenate all by myself amidst the peace and tranquility of the California desert. After checking out a few listings, I happened upon the place that dreams are made of. An orange frenzy of mid-century post and beam architecture complete with vintage details like period furniture, amazing art on the walls, and a conversation pit that would make even Don Draper swoon. I booked it immediately, and set to packing for my glorious high desert getaway. After a few days of solitude, I invited a few friends and we made excellent use of the multiple bedrooms and bathrooms.
Starting point is 00:33:48 A hotel would not have worked for us at all. With Airbnb, you can stay close and hang out in the living room rather than a crowded lobby. And while hotels are filled with strangers, we had the entire house and yard to ourselves, allowing us to enjoy the serenity of true privacy. It was the perfect trip and the perfect way to recover for an absolutely insane tour.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Kelly, what's gonna happen on your new pod? You just read my mind. I was just gonna ask that. Well, I read your mind because she had a fucking psychic recently. Oh, that's great. Are we allowed to give away what's happening on the pod? Okay, you've got to give us the kernel. I have no idea what I'm doing, y'all.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Great. I mean, I'm not much of a talker. Okay, Kelly, we're trying to promote this talk. Oh. Semi-nude podcast, I love talking. Semi-nude? I love what I'm doing. Semi-nude podcast.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I love touring. I love touring. I love to tour. I love to tour. I go through hell talking on the microphone. I love podcasting. No, it's a lot of fun. I mean, it's basically just me with good friends or new friends and we kiki. And I had a Tammy. Tammy's on it.
Starting point is 00:34:54 And Jeria is on it. Coco. I had Coco Peru. And then we had a psychic medium. And should I tell it? Yes. Y'all are my executive producers. You let me know. Hold on. Let me ask. We cut the checks. Yep. They said it's okay. Okay. Um, I can't believe they don't hear that. What's the airplane? Yeah, I love the airplane sounds. Um, cause it also means a transition in life. Um, And we just all brought up the psychic medium. I proved to you last time I was psychic.
Starting point is 00:35:28 Mary, we're next to an airport. Like there's bound to be flight sound. Every time a plane goes by, she's like, can you believe it? Transitions, people going from one place to another. Every time a plane goes over, someone transitions. Yes. Someone in this room has to transition now.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Someone, it's Carrie Colby Airlines. Who is the psychic? Mancuso? Sherry Mancuso. Thank you. Sherry Mancuso, she was very popular. She's still very popular, but she was big on the talk show circuit in the 80s and the 90s. Like Phil Donahue.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Exactly. And Celia and Jesse Raphael. All those. And she gave me a reading, she had her eyes shut, and she told me my grandmother was coming through. And I said, now I'm not gonna believe this. I said this to myself as I was sitting there. I was like, I won't believe this
Starting point is 00:36:18 unless she brings up the horse. The horse or the horse? The horse. The horse. The horse. They might've been horse, but they were horses. Because my grandma right before she died said, Kelly, did you see the white horse at the top of the street?
Starting point is 00:36:32 And I said, now, Carl, there aren't no horses because we're in Oklahoma City. She was asking for cocaine. Do you want to ride the white horse? That might have been what she was asking for. Which I could have provided, and it might have kept her alive. So you killed your grandmother. I killed my grandmother because I didn't supply her with coke. Right. Wait, so how do you think she knew about this horse?
Starting point is 00:36:54 Let's be very, very skeptical. Because I've never told the story about the horse other than to like, you know, close friends and family, like, you know, whatever, never live on a thing. And I'm sitting there and she has her eyes shut, and she opens her eyes and looks at me and family, like, you know, whatever, never live on a thing. And I'm sitting there and she has her eyes shut and she opens her eyes and looks at me and says, what's the story about the horse? That's very creepy. Damn. I was like, what? You said I have a long face. Okay. So what did you get? Did I get like, did you? I would have flipped out like I'm the chills and everything everything. Oh my God, I freaked out.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Because I literally said it to myself right before she said it. I told myself, I don't believe this woman's real. She's giving very general things. And I said to my... She shut her eyes and I said to myself in my head, if she doesn't bring up the horse, I'm not gonna believe this woman. That's crazy. And she literally opened her eyes and said, what's the story about the horse? I would have punched her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Didn't you say she had some kind of like, she was famous for like solving some cases or something, right? Well, yeah. She found the Zoya killer. She worked with like FBI and detectives and police departments to help locate like dead bodies. Missing babies.
Starting point is 00:38:01 I wanted to find the one that Tammy Brown was talking about. Jessica? The dead body? Mm-hmm. Oh. I just watched that this morning. I wanted to find the one that Tammy Brown was talking about. Jessica? The dead body? Oh. I just watched that this morning. I know. I found it this morning. Dead bodies.
Starting point is 00:38:13 I watched your interview with Bruce Blanche this morning. It was so good. Girl, that was so crazy because the more I tried to learn about him, the more I realized I could never learn everything about him because his career was so beyond. He's done everything. Isn't it crazy? Yeah. Hollywood Squares, right? Yes it crazy? Hollywood Squares, right? Yes.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Crazy, Hollywood Squares writing on it and being on it. Not to mention... Ben Midler, I mean, he wrote all the jokes. Barbara, everybody. I know. Wild. Wild. A joke writer, honey. What is your favorite part of the podcast?
Starting point is 00:38:40 My favorite part of the podcast is the ending. It's when it ends. Kelly, we're trying to promote that you're, you know, chatty. My favorite part of the podcast is the beginning. I love when it begins and I get to talk and engage. Do people have to pay for it or is it free of charge? It is free of charge. You can go on my YouTube channel.
Starting point is 00:39:06 If you go to the YouTube.com and you type in Kelly Manil, my little channel is going to pop up there toward the bottom. Incredible. And don't you think that the people subscribe and watch your videos? We're also available anywhere where you get your podcast is available to you right now. Anywhere availability is available for podcasting and podcasts and availables. Huge. True. Apple, storage unit and Spotify. What if I got Spotify?
Starting point is 00:39:36 Yes. We're on Spotify. Is that correct? Kelly's husband said that if she doesn't start majorly bringing in the bacon, she's going to get a divorce. Honey, she wore the break-in to bring home the break-in. She's going to get her eyes poked out if she doesn't start majorly bringing in the bacon, she's going to get a divorce. Honey, she wore the break in to bring home the break in. She's going to get her eyes poked out if she doesn't make some money. Now there's, you know, there's Bob and Monet, there's us, there's all the girls.
Starting point is 00:39:55 What are, what is Kelly? You know, there's, um, there's Joe Rogan. There's Delta work, the greats, you know, what are you bringing to the table? That's a little different than what the other girls are bringing? Yeah. What's this? Nothing. Nothing at all. What distinguishes the singularity of the mental brand
Starting point is 00:40:14 from your average podcaster? Messy. Messy. Chaotic. Lots of long pauses. Can I say what's predictable? Lots of subtextual conversations going on inside my head that never come out on the microphone. And everything turns lesbian.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Okay. And everything turns lesbian. Everything turns lesbian. The lesbians are going to love my podcast because we are very lesbian-tronic on it. Layered. Layered. The lesbians love you. Lesbian transgenders love me. Lesbian transgenders.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Yes. The lesbian transgenders love me. The Kelly Mantle podcast, a place for lesbian transgenders. Kelly Mantle podcast. A place where lesbian transgenders can come listen to long pauses. What the fuck? The long pause with Kelly Mantle. Now am I doing this right?
Starting point is 00:40:54 Is this the way you do it? No, you're doing it terribly. I think I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong.
Starting point is 00:41:02 I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. I'm doing it wrong. What the fuck? The long pause with Kelly Mantle. Now, am I doing this right? Is this the way you do it? No, you're doing it terribly. What's it called now? Kelly Mantle's podcast?
Starting point is 00:41:12 The Kelly Mantle Show. The Kelly Mantle Show. Now, the Kelly Mantle Show is bound to be something unique, riveting and unexpected. Wouldn't you agree? Absolutely. It really is. I mean, I think what happens is things come to my mind in the middle of conversations. And so it can go from A to Z very quickly
Starting point is 00:41:35 without much transition going on. Unpredictable. Kind of like my gender identity. It just goes from A to Z very abruptly. What age did you lose your virginity? I lost my virginity to the Madonna lookalike. And so I was a freshman in college. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah. Damn. In that wild. I lost my virginity to a woman who looked like Madonna. Damn. Wow. It was the most amazing, immaculate... That's the most LGBT thing I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:42:09 That is pretty LGBT. Was there music playing? Madonna. Yeah, I don't remember the song. Justify My Love. Oh, wow. Damn. And it had just been banned on MTV.
Starting point is 00:42:20 I also really like Wrap You Up in My Love. Wrap you up in my love. I'm gonna wrap you up in my love. Did you know I used to think it said, dress you up in my love? Well, it could. It's dress you up in my love. It's dress you up. What did I think?
Starting point is 00:42:33 Wrap you up, that's the Christmas version. Yeah. Christmas. Do you like Christmas, Kelly Mantle? I fucking hate... Kelly! ...Christmas. I'm sorry. This is the only thing she gets opinionated on. Honey, listen, if I had children, then I would decorate and do the whole thing
Starting point is 00:42:47 because, you know, it's for the children. But we are adults. We are celebrating a day for a man who was born to a virgin. To all you virgin mothers out there. I see you, Mary. I mean, there's only one. But I mean, you know, besides Jesus, you don't like the snow and the lights and the presents and the- Hashtag tax the churches. This is the thing.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Merry Christmas. This is the issue. It's one of two things. Mary got pregnant by a man without consent. Or Mary took hot loads on the side and then pretended to be a virgin. Exactly. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:43:23 I'm gonna go with the latter. That's right up there with like, oh, I'm on the DL and I got gonorrhea. Must've got it from a urinal. Like, no. Or an angel. Don't know. An angle. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:32 I got gonorrhea from an angle. Touched by an angle. Have you ever gotten STI, Kelly? No, I don't even know what that is. Sexually transmitted infection. No, I hope not. You've never had an STI. No.
Starting point is 00:43:42 For real. No. Gonorrhea. No. Syphilis. No. Her real? No. Gonorrhea? No. Syphilis? No. Herpes? No.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Shingles? Rubella? No. Mumps? Shingles is an S, sexually transmitted? No. If it's transmitted during sex, you get it. If you get a paper cut during sex, it's an STI.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Measles, mumps, rubella? Well, no, I did get a paper cut on one of my phlobeon tubes one time. They were trying to put a post in there to remind them. Post it notes up the pussy. So you have this strapping military husband who's gorgeous and handsome. James, shout out to James.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Hi James. And did he know when you all got together, did he know- That I wasn't born a female? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know what you all got together, did he know... That I wasn't born a female? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know what you're talking about. Did he know that maybe perhaps you weren't exactly a virgin and white up to that moment?
Starting point is 00:44:34 Did he know that you'd perhaps made the rounds? Did he know that your flowerbed had been trampled? Did he know that you had kind of a... That you were a loose woman. Time central station. Yeah. An old boot. No, he did not know that, but he's going to know now.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Thank you so much for revealing that here on the podcast. Your rusty wheel. He thinks he escaped a combat. I mean, I don't think we talk about it because it's kind of one of those things. It's off limits. But I think he knows. I think relationships are built on secrets and lies. There you go.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Relationships are made in the dark. Absolutely. I mean, do you cut in with actors and athletes and rock stars and washed up stars and... Who's the most rude celebrity you've met? Is it us? No, it's not us. She's afraid to say.
Starting point is 00:45:24 We're not celebrities. Judge Judy Shanklin. Shanklin? Is that her name? Shanklin. And Katya are sober. Now you know the answer to this. Modern family. Oh, who?
Starting point is 00:45:32 Remember? I don't remember. Our pod that we did together. That was so long ago. Sofia Vogel Royale. No way. That's, I mean, someone so hot, they're liable to be a... I know.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Which she let you look in the eye. Maybe it was just a bad day. I'm just going to say it was a bad day. I'm just going to say it was a bad day. I'm just going to say it was a bad day. I'm just going to say it was a bad day. I'm just going to say it was a bad day. I'm just going to say it mean, someone's so hot, they're liable to be a... I know. Maybe it was just a bad day. I'm just gonna say it was a bad day. Of course.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Because she's hilarious and beautiful and talented and gorgeous and wonderful. So I'm sure it was just a bad day. She's allowed to have a bad day. We worked together on the set, and it was not the most pleasant experience I've ever experienced. Now, why? Was it unprofessional behavior or just cunty behavior? It wasn't toward me. It was the way that some of her staff was being treated. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:46:14 And one of the big things was that in the episode, she's wearing a wig. And so they kept wanting to put bobby pins in the wig. And she kept telling them, no bobby pins. So in the shot, they yell action and I'm supposed to put the crown on her hair. So I put the crown on and then they say cut. And she's like, watch out for the wig. You're putting the crown on my head.
Starting point is 00:46:41 And I said, well, girl, you should have put those bobby pins in. What the heck? I know it just came flying out of my mouth. So, but you know, it was more than that, but that was one of the little things that happened that day. That was a fun day. Did she beat the shit out of you? She did. She, um, she beat the shit out of you. Well, she ruptured my funny bone. Did you have any clothes on?
Starting point is 00:47:04 No, she snapped. We did the whole. Did you have any clothes on? No. She snapped both tibialisks. We did the whole thing nude. It was a very modern family. It was Halloween. A Halloween episode? Mm-hmm. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:47:12 I know. Do you like Halloween? I love Halloween. Every day is Halloween for me. Will you dress for it? Yeah. Every day is Halloween for me. What's your favorite Halloween costume that you've done?
Starting point is 00:47:22 My favorite Halloween costume I've ever done? Um, Wonder Woman. I did Wonder Woman. It was hot. It was a sexy Wonder Woman. A woman who wonders. That's your new pod name too. A woman who wonders. I also went one year with a guitar and a Darth Vader mask and called myself, um, Darth Brooks.
Starting point is 00:47:43 So you carried a... That's funny. You wore a mask and carried myself, um, Darth Brooks. So you carried a... That's funny. You wore a mask and carried an acoustic instrument to the bars? Mm-hmm. Well, it wasn't the bars. It was, um, a stage thing. Wow. That's funny. And I didn't want to put on makeup that day, so I was Darth Brooks.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Do you ever miss... Well, I guess I could ever miss, like... We talked about it on the pod when you came on with me. You didn't really do drag in like a regular sense before. Before you were like primarily acting. You were primarily acting the whole time. I was. I was a huge fan of drag shows
Starting point is 00:48:12 and I would go to the clubs all the time and watch drag shows, but I never really was in the drag shows at the clubs. So when you did Drag Race. When I did Drag Race, I didn't have that five night a week experience of putting looks together and styling hair and putting outfits together and makeup and the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I had usually always had it done for me or was doing it for a character that I was playing or something like that. So I really got in over my head on that one. Damn. But it's one of those things where they say, when you go into an audition, they say, do you speak Russian? You're like, sure.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Yes, of course I do. And then you'll go home and figure it out because you just want to get the role. So it was kind of like, Oh shit. They'd been asking me to be on Drag Race for so many seasons, the first two seasons, and then it dropped off and they didn't ask me anymore.
Starting point is 00:49:00 And then season six came rolling around and I thought, well, I can do this. How hard can it be? It's hard. They said, Kelly, we heard that you don't own any wigs and you don't really lip sync or work in clubs and we need you on Drag Race. Well, you know what else is, I was so used to being on sets where you kind of get to ask them, can you put the camera over on this side?
Starting point is 00:49:22 Because this is my good side. Oh, my God. I was on the set of Drag Race and I didn't realize, because I'd never been on a reality show before, the cameras would come over here and I'd be like, you want, can you all come over to this side and shoot me from this angle? And they're like, Kelly, you can't talk to the camera. And I'm like, why not?
Starting point is 00:49:41 And so when Rue came up to our workstations, I said, I think, could you stand on this side since the cameras are right here and that's why they cut you. They sent me home because I didn't think anything of it. I thought, oh, everyone just works like that and they'll be cool with it, you know, because Rue's gorgeous. She's got two good sides. And she looked at me and she's like, okay. You bitch.
Starting point is 00:50:06 And she had you. Wait, she did? RuPaul can have you audited like that. RuPaul has a lot of power. So that's probably why I went home. Yeah. Damn. But I didn't know that you weren't supposed to do that.
Starting point is 00:50:18 To tell RuPaul where to stand and talk directly to the camera. It's not the news, Kelly. I didn't tell her. She's like doing the weather in the workroom. I asked very nicely. I said, do you mind? Oh my god. That's almost worse.
Starting point is 00:50:30 That is worse. And that southern accent, hey, doll. Could you just? Yeah, would you do me a favor, Rue? Oh, no. That's hysterical. Kelly, I think it's fine. Can I be honest, Kelly?
Starting point is 00:50:39 I think the point of view that you offer that's so special is in some ways, you're like so beyond tuned in and intuitive, and I think you have so much wisdom and you know about everything. But in other ways, you're like, what's DVR? Yeah, you literally... You know and... That's what I mean, you know and don't know. What is that?
Starting point is 00:50:56 Is that a sexually transmitted disease? Yeah. Well, they're called STIs now. Infections. Oh. Disease is a very hard disease. It's very queer as folk. STI.
Starting point is 00:51:06 STI. You would be familiar with four different kinds of Mongolian silk, but you don't know what a stop sign is. Yes. Well, I actually don't know what four Mongolian silks are, either. Are you tech savvy, Kelly? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Yes. I think. Well, no, actually, I'm not. I meant to send you one the other day. I sent you this thing. Did you get it? Sent me one? Uh-huh. I sent you a text. Oh, a text.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Tech savvy. Tech. Technology savvy. Oh, no. Do you have a satellite dish? I think I do. This reminds me. I had a dream about Trixie. Okay. A couple of months ago and you were the spectrum
Starting point is 00:51:49 cable person and you were, you showed up in like overalls. We fucked. But you were dressed as Trixie. No, you climbed up to the top of the cable pole. I was in drag. Yes, in overalls. Kelly, if you... And you were trying to unhook my cable. And I was knocking on my window going,
Starting point is 00:52:06 why are you unhooking my cable? You were the spectrum cable woman. The cable woman. That came to my thing. At least... So no, I don't have a satellite dish. I have spectrum cable. Did I look good?
Starting point is 00:52:17 Yes. Hey, honestly, if you see me outside your house, hanging off your building, trying to unhook your cable, don't ask no questions. Leave me alone. You had on brown shoes. Oh, my God. You had brown shoes.
Starting point is 00:52:28 I just remember brown shoes. Because they were dangling from the pole. Dangly brown shoes. Dangly brown shoes. Yes. And you were the Spectrum Cablewoman. It's fierce. What happens at the gym?
Starting point is 00:52:44 Our producers have told us to ask you what you do at the gym. Because you're always in such great shape. You pick people's pockets, don't you? You go through the locker room. I go through the lockers. I smell their jock straps. I think you're one of those people who only does elliptical and has jeans on and sunglasses.
Starting point is 00:52:58 Yeah, and top and bottom lashes. No, I love my workout gear. What's going on there? It's all black and everything is like... Skin tight. I love my workout gear. What's going on there? It's all black and everything is like... Skin tight. I love it. Is it a brimmed hat and a cape? I wear a hat, but no cape.
Starting point is 00:53:14 But I do wear a hat and my little workout jacket that I love to wear has shoulder pads, like little mini shoulder pads in it. Oh my God. I know. What's your favorite exercise? Elliptical. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:27 I do 30 minutes on the elliptical. I do 20 minutes on the bike and I lift at the same time. Oh, I think that's kind of efficient. That's crazy. Killing two birds with one stone. Absolutely. And then I lay the mat out and I do my crunches. And then I do a pull down bar thing and then I lay the mat out and I do my crunches. And then I do a pull-down bar thing.
Starting point is 00:53:48 And then I do my butt exercises. And then I sit in the sauna for 10 minutes. Kind of. But I'm a germaphobe. And so I don't do well in gyms. And so what I do is I carry these little out of order signs with me in my gym bag. And I will put them on the elliptical next to me
Starting point is 00:54:06 and the elliptical over here so that no one will come and get on the machine next to me. That is so crazy. And I also put one on the sauna when I get there so that no one gets in the sauna before I get into it. You are a scam, Tina. It works. It works. You are scamming. It works. It works.
Starting point is 00:54:25 You are scamming. You're Joanne the Scammer. It does. And then people will come up and go, I went, out of order. I just screamed because I have my headphones in. I can't. I just go, out of order. Keep walking, sweaty. But I don't understand this because this is the reason I do it. There will be a line of ten elliptical machines
Starting point is 00:54:43 and a person will walk in. All those will be empty and they'll get on the one right next to you. And they're like, why? So that's why I started doing it. Yeah, that's weird. I'm very efficient. I have a black member, well, I have a black card membership. I have a black card membership at Planet Fitness because it's only $20 a month and they're
Starting point is 00:55:04 everywhere. Are they, are they a Glam's only $20 a month and they're everywhere. Are they a glamorous gym? No, but there's locations everywhere. So if you're on tour or whatever, no matter how lazy you are, 0.5 miles away. It's always 0.5 miles away. I'm that brand of where I won't walk or run to the gym because that's too much, but I'll go there and walk and run.
Starting point is 00:55:20 So I don't know what that is. I had Bally's. I was a member of Bally's. Bally's Total Fitness. Yes. I think they're still taking money out of my account. But this is a smaller, more private gym, but it's still busy all the time.
Starting point is 00:55:32 Oh, yeah, I don't like that. It's crazy. I like the Planet Fitness because it's not glamorous, but it's super affordable. And for $20 a month, I think you get more than what you. It's like a dollar a day. And it is regular people. And, you know, my self-image goes up and down.
Starting point is 00:55:46 And I like that it's not supermodels. No, it's equal. It's me and librarians and car insurance people. You know what I mean? Like working out. Tom, Dick and Harry. It's like you're Dave and Busters. It's my Dave and Busters. I got to go because my points are going to expire.
Starting point is 00:56:00 What, your Dave and Buster points? I got 16,000 points. I want to go with you. I love Dave and Busters. I've never been,000 points. I want to go with you. Girl. I love Dave and Buster's. I've never been. I've never been on Hollywood. You've never been? No.
Starting point is 00:56:08 We're going. I love to go. We're having a date night out at Dave and Buster's. There's a wonderful one there on Hollywood and Highlands, where James and I go all the time. I went at the basketball hoops. Ooh. Nice little flow through with that wrist.
Starting point is 00:56:24 And I went a little necklace that had a K on it. For what? Kelly. For Kelly. Ketamine. I don't know why I thought of like ketamine. So Kelly Mantle, star of the Kelly Mantle show, a new riveting podcast. Where can the viewers and listeners find you on the worldwide web?
Starting point is 00:56:42 They can find me on my YouTube, typing Kelly Mantle, and you will find the podcast there. The podcast is available on Apple podcast and Spotify and the Spectrum Cable. And you can find me on TikTok and Instagram and Blue Sky. I'm on Blue Sky. I'm on Blue Sky now. I love your TikTok Kelly. What's your app?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Do you? The Kelly Mantle? I think my Blue Sky is just Kelly Mantle, but my Twitter is The Kelly Mantle. Her TikTok is kind of like, it's like beauty filters and you kind of just like smiling at the camera and like playing with your hair. And that's like the whole TikTok.
Starting point is 00:57:23 I don't like that. I don't use filters. Oh, right. Right. Sorry. It's it's HD, unedited footage. Sorry. K raw images.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Filters. I don't know what you're talking about. Love those shoes. I love y'all. I love you too. Support Kelly on our podcast journey. It's hard to start a brand new pod because you feel like you're just. When we started every episode, I was like, is this right?
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah. Y'all are so good though. I mean, y'all are so easy to listen to. Y'all spanch her back and forth. Listen to her or die. Or die. And I'll go out and say it. Or get completely assassinated.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Yes. Yeah. Put the Kelly Mantle Show on before you get completely assassinated. If you don't listen to Kelly, you hate the LGBT UIA plus community. Lesbian transgenders. You hate the lesbian transgenders. You hate the lesbian transgenders and the questioning IAs. Goodbye. The long pause with Kelly Mantle. Bye. Thanks for watching!

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