The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Men Lie for It, Women Cry for It:“Noodle Madness!” with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

The dawning of a new year is a time for fun and jokes and ice cream cones. It's a time for Q&A podcast episodes and trips to the West Hollywood Gateway Shopping Center for a chocolate malt with your steady gal or guy. But behind the innocence of those youthful improprieties lies a menace. A menace made of wheat flour, rice flour, and mung bean starch. A menace known as authentic Chinese noodles. You'll travel from a momentary pleasure to a prison of your own making with Satan's sizzling spicy beef noodles. You'll find nothing but debauchery, violence, murder, and the ultimate end of the authentic Chinese noodle addict: hopeless insanity. This New Year's Eve, celebrate 2025 safely and name a designated noodle eater. It may just save your life. Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I have to tell you guys, I had not been to Wasaki, Wisconsin in so many years since pre-COVID and I went up there last month. And of course, my whole family moved to Milwaukee. You guys know, I bought my mama house and so everyone years since pre COVID. And I went up there last month. And of course, my whole family moved to Milwaukee. You guys know, I bought my mama house. And so everyone lives in Milwaukee now. So I had nowhere to stay. And there's not even like hotels in that area.

It's such a small area. So I got on Airbnb and my host Jodi, hi Jodi. She probably doesn't listen to this or know who I am, but she made it so easy. Her cabin was beautiful. It was like right in the middle of my small town sitting exactly where it was. The wifi, the heating, and it was like a family cabin.

So it had a bunch of like, you know, DVDs. You know, when you go on vacation, you just like watch, you know, movies with your family. It was perfect for staying a couple of days. It had everything for cooking. It had knives. Like because it's a real family's cabin, I didn't have to bring anything.

In my suitcase, I packed a pan, I packed like a spatula, because I thought it'd be cooking breakfast, and they had all of that. It was so nice. You know, it was just perfect for me, and it slept eight, but honestly, it was so affordable that I just got it anyway. So instead of a bunch of kids' beds being used and stuff,

it was just like, I had a full bedroom. It was like perfect, perfect for me. I could have never achieved like that experience of like relaxed and everything kind of provided for me if I had stayed in a hotel. I mean a hotel in rural Wisconsin. So check out airbnb.com or check out the Airbnb app, download it. I cannot recommend it enough. Trips are always better with Airbnb. download it. I cannot recommend it enough. Do you like noodles? Yeah. Are you talking about noodles and company? No. Noodles in

general. Noodles in general. I do. I love. Let me tell you something about this new store that opened up. It's called Lan or Lan noodles. L-A-N. Chinese noodles. authentic Chinese noodles. Noodle soup, wide noodles, round noodles, flat noodles, long noodles. So delicious. Do you know what six to eight PM is becoming? Flip my wig, make him feel like he's eating noodles. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, pussy grip like pliers on the dick kind of noodles.

Right. These noodles. Make Yeah These noodles wife noodles Do whatever you like kind of new girl the noodles your mother warned you about What about them? Noodles in the sheets and noodles in the streets, right? As 6 to 8 p.m. In my life has become noodle o'clock So you're like you're deep in it. Sweetie, these fucking noodles have been. You're on Noodle Chan, you're logged in on Noodle Chan.

Chan land, yeah, I'm on the land Chan. Like it is, it's at the Plaza on La Brea and something else by the Target in Hollywood. Mama, these noodles! Oh, these, mm. By the Best Buy and the Ulta and all that? Not at Best Buy, but no, it's in Hollywood, Hollywood. I think technically it is West Hollywood. There's an Ulta, there's a Target, there's a Starbucks.

For people listening from rural Wyoming, this is really important that you know exactly in Hollywood where it is. No, I mean, this is like, if you come to LA, skip the Hollywood Walk of Fame, go to Lawn Noodles. They're eating. Mama, you will eat and they will serve. Girl, it is so delicious.

Oh my God. Sometimes it's all I got. You know, can I say these local restaurants, when you and I shout them out, they find out. My favorite donut place, California Donuts by my house. They shut down after you talk about it. No, no, no, I went in there one day and she goes, are you Trixie?

And I said, yeah. And she goes, I saw your TikTok. Thank you for shouting us out. That really helps us. And she said, do you want a Simpsons donut? And I said, yes, I do. And so she gave me a pink frosted donut with sprinkles. Oh my God.

And she's, she's my, she's my bestie. Although when I don't, she's the godmother of your future child. She is my bestie. She's my bestie when I have cash, when she has to process the card, she turns on me. Oh, really? Yeah. She wants the cash, and I get it. It's like the fabric people downtown.

You get the cash, you don't pay tax. Girl, the fabric people. They'll pinch your butt and elevate it like an Italian man. The fabric of the community down there. But these fucking noodles, Mary. So when you get it to go, you got your soup, you got your noodles separate. Then you plop those noodles in the soup. Spicy beef the soup.

Spicy beef noodle soup, life changed. Wig flipped. Sex. I wanna try it, I wanna try it. They're so good. Cause you know, I live close now over by like, Thai Town. Sweetie, you could walk there. And I haven't been partaking enough

because honestly, Thai Town is so robust with restaurants. Well, this is nowhere near Thai Town, but yeah. Where do we begin? I feel like that clip of, um, Kath and Kim when she's walking on the street and it says, like, Lebanese and dyke and stuff. And she's, like, overwhelmed. That's me with all these Tytown good places.

A restaurant called Crispy Pork Gang. Yeah, well, my favorite Thai place is Love to Eat Thai, L-U-V-2 Eat Thai. It is in a shitty strip mall with, like, the only broken down 7-Eleven. And it's like sketchy for real. So delicious. Girl, there's this Indian food place in London,

wait, in Corbin, Kentucky. Oh yeah. Rural Kentucky Indian food place called, it's obviously set up in what used to be a Denny's. Very clearly it was like a chain restaurant. Shit. But. What's it called? A-M-I it was like a chain restaurant. Shit. But. What's it called?

A-M-I-R-I-T. Okay. I'm pretty sure it's Amarit, but I like to go, am I right? And I don't think that's it. And they love that. No, I don't say it to them. Okay.

But I was like, all right, I guess when I want my good Indian food, I go to Corbin, Kentucky. It's slayed. Mama. It's slayed, it was delicious. It's late. It was delicious. It's don't judge. You cannot judge a restaurant by anything other than sitting down

and giving them money and trying the food, eating the food. Did you eat the food? How's the food? Delicious. When I worked at. Delicious. Delicious. When I worked at the restaurant at Rock Bottom Brewery,

there's a sign in the kitchen that said, is it hot? Are you proud to serve it? And my faggot ass was like, here come the hurricane bitch. Here come the hurricane bitch. Throw the food on the floor. You take, you unhooked your bra.

You took off your blouse. You can't have the boots. Yes, one clothes pin. I clipped both nipples together. Cause they said, cause in restaurants they say, hot food, hot, cold food, cold. Well, that makes sense. I hate when you're like, oh, it's my side of fruit salad. It's been sitting under a light.

Oh, it's my warm item. It's cold. It's my Vichyssoise, room temp. Get out of here. What's a Vichyssoise? It's supposed to be cold. It's a cold French soup. That's like gazpacho.

Yeah, it's like, well, it happened in Batman. He's like, oh, the soup's cold. It's a cold French soup. That's like gazpacho. Yeah, it's like, well, it happened in Batman. He's like, oh, the soup's cold. It's vichyssoise. What's the best Batman movie? Uh... I think it's Batman Returns. It's really, I don't want to be a faggot, but it's hard to beat that mentally.

Yeah. I love... Batman and Robin. You like the Joel Schumacher ones? With the hard nipples. Yeah, in the Cod piece. As I told Lady Frese, yeah, it's fierce. With the cock and ball outline in the Cod piece.

I don't like the camp ones. I watched Batman, the first Tim Burton one, Jack Nicholson. It's great. It's great. But how does that get... I like a character development. Like, I like Harvey Dent turning into, like, yeah, evil. And so what I don't like is that in Batman forever, we get Two-Faced.

We don't get to see the creation of Two-Faced, you know? But I like how we have, like, in Batman and Robin, we have Uma Thurman, like, oh, I just care about working for this scientist who's mean to me, and I love plants. And then they hit her with that one drip of the substance. And she comes out, and she's literally like, my pussy's a jungle. Like, it's so fierce. Well, I's literally like, my pussy is a jungle.

Like it's so fierce. Well I mean like they push a cat woman out, they push Selena Kyle out a window and those cats are like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But why was she working in an office if she didn't have a parachute? That's on her. That is a really good question. Women and children first. Yeah.

And why would she go back to the office after she trying to clock in overtime? Well I think that's kind of a dangerous game of like, you want your boss to know that you'll go above and beyond, but suddenly you're the only one in a giant office building doing clerical work. For a guy who's trying to suck all the power out of Gotham City. Right.

And stockpile it and store it and hoard it. She really served in that movie. The lighting, everything. She went from mousy to fucking like, cunty. I love the scene where she comes into work the next day and she's alive and she's acting like she has amnesia. Yeah, it's not, it's a blur. Like I remember Sister Mary Margaret puking in church

and the boy, and the day I forgot to wear my underpants to school and the boy, you know, this is Ricky Friedberg. Yes, he's dead now. He's dead now. Yeah, she's so good. She comes like, ugh, acting. On my YouTube channel, I was talking about skiing.

And I was talking about, I never went skiing till my second boyfriend in college, Matt. He took me skiing with his family. And in the video, I was watching it and I'm selling makeup and I'm like, oh, so I love this color. I don't even been skiing once. My ex-boyfriend, Matt brought me there. Oh, he's dead, love him.

And I was watching it and I was like, I do love him. He is dead. And he is dead, but those two things too close together without taking a beat. It's a little rough. That's the bummer. It's a little rough. It seems like I'm coarse and callous.

Poor went out for the beat. It's always bittersweet to remember a personal story about someone. And then you remember, oh, that person's dead. I hate that. Did he die from skiing? Because skiing is notoriously dangerous. No, he didn't die from skiing, but you're right, anybody could. Mary, don't go skiing. Don't do all that. Yeah. Mountains, shut them down.

Shut it down. Natasha Richardson, Sonny Bono, you could be next. I'm going to build some brick walls and put snow on them. I'm just going to teach people lessons. Molly from Molly's Game. Gerald from Gerald's Game. You know, give it up for Gerald. Poor one out for Gerald and his wife.

I guess we have some Q&As. Yes. Yes, we do. Christmas just happened. Happy New Year. It's the New Year special. Happy New Year. You know, we had a great, by the way, we got to do,

our tour manager, Audrey, posted a bunch of backstage clips of us doing Bald and the Beautiful all year. And I didn't realize how many we did. And I was watching it and it's so many different outfits. We did so many cities this year. Exotic fashion walk. Thank you everybody for coming to see us. Yes, thank you so much for coming to see us.

Taking a chance on love. I love to do the live shows. They're fun. My nipples get hard. I loved the first one we did this last time. St. Louis. Oh, it was fabulous. So fun.

Loved St. Louis. It was really fun. Should we do some questions? Yeah, these are questions that are submitted on the internet by You Find People. So the first one is, Kaji, do you questions? Yeah, these are questions that are submitted on the internet by You Find People. So the first one is, Kaji, do you have any packages coming that are signature required? And yes, I actually do.

And I'm not going to be able to sign for them today. Can we as an audience empathize further by asking what's in it? Like, what's at stake here? Well, OK, so there are fashion items that are there for a podcast because I've been coming to set dressed like who done it and I need to up the fashion game. So I went online and bought all these garments that are expensive because they gave me a budget.

Why did I buy the wrong size? I've turned a complete corner on any and all dancing label clothing. Oh, yeah. If it's an artist I like and it's one of a kind and someone made it, I'm wet. But no, no, no, see, I'm not doing labels. I'm about to take, Brandon, I'm about to give Brandon

all my Goosey, all my Versace. I'm about to have him take it all to Crossroads Exchange and give me that good, good money. Yeah, yeah. Because I'm embarrassed of all of it. I'm not into labels. I don't want to like, I don't believe like, a sweatshirt that says Vetement on it

is like better than something else. But for example, Comme Des Garcons had some sale shit on clearance on Farfetch'd for half off. And it's cool looking. It's really, really cool looking. And I bought all the wrong size. Oh, all the wrong size. Well, Comme Des Garcons is small. No, they're huge.

I have a large sweater from them that is, it's like a goddamn small. Mama, the girls' stuff is so small. The men's stuff is enormous. I have a large, I have a large like sweater from them that is, it's like a goddamn small. The girl's stuff is so small. The men's stuff is enormous. It's enormous. Yeah. I love our friends over at Fiorucci.

I wear like a XL there. The men's, everything's so little. Italian people, petite. Yeah. They're a little like... Pocket squares. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right they're little like... Pocket squares. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's get to the questions.

So, SluttyZamo, at SluttyZamo wants to know, would you have the substance daughter or an Oppenheimer son? I mean, I didn't see Oppenheimer. Oh, it was great. Was it? I was a hater. I was a hater, because I was like,

mama, we know about that. But it was great. I don't know, What is it about? It was about building the atomic bomb in World War II. The man who like... It's great. Sounds awful. No, it's riveting. It's well acted.

It's like, it's tragic. It's amazing. Christopher Nolan. Yeah, I mean, I guess I want the... Bar- Barbenheimer? The substance daughter. Absolutely. Well, I wanna... I was like, the substance version of me, I was like... It's a guy, by the way.

I know. And he's not that much younger than you. Like, if you're gonna start taking it, why don't you wait? Wait till I'm 60. Yeah. Wait till I'm 60 and then what? The 28-year-old me comes out and smokes cigarettes? And also, if it really is you, it seems like the crazier,

more cracky version of you. No, I think it would be like a, like he would be like a drip. Like he'd be like annoying and like, like, you know what I mean? Like stuck up and like, um, like, are we okay? Yeah. Like he had hair. What color? Jump scare. had hair. What color? Oh, jump scare.

What hair would he have? Sandy blonde. Bleh. Would it be your hair from when you were younger then? Like blonde. It would be like, he'd be blonde, like a dish, a dish water blonde. You had the hair of Butters from South Park.

That like little blonde smattering right on top of the head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that is the hair that you had. Yeah. Okay. Right? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? I don't know what that is, but yeah, I believe you had. Yeah. Okay. Right? Do you guys not even talking about? I don't know what that is, but yeah, I believe you.

Fellow blonde. Okay. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Friends, Romans, countrymen, I'd like to officially announce that the insanity of the holidays is almost over. The once festive tree is now dry and rotting on the sidewalk. The presents that were so meticulously wrapped have now been opened

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Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash bald today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com slash bald. At Emma Blairs, what's your genuine analysis of why young, often queer women are drawn to you two specifically? I have no idea.

I have my ideas, but I'd love to hear both of your takes. I have no idea. I have my ideas, but I'd love to hear both of your takes. I have no idea. I don't know either. No idea. But I think that we have fans that... We have a wide spectrum of fans through age and gender, though. I know that we do. There's just a vocal minority of them that are just louder.

The people who come to the shows do not match, like, for example, the people who comment on me online. No. And those people don't match the people. You know, it's like, it's all different. Yeah, the analytics differ from the reality. For real. Yeah.

And you can get a really imbalanced or inaccurate picture of who the fan base is. I do notice we have fans that like age out of us. Of course, which is really depressing. Because I don't want to be the Wiggles. I'm not Peppa the Pig. We have fans who like were in high school up until like COVID. And after COVID, I'm like, that girl stopped coming to shows.

And then she'll come to a show and she'll have like brown hair and be like, oh, I got married and I have a job now. So I don't like to stand you guys on Twitter anymore. I deleted my slutty Zamo account. She moved on. Yeah. Change. Can we talk about what happened at the airport?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, we gotta pause the questions for a second. This is an interesting Kragmeier, hopefully for you guys, definitely for us, maybe boring for them, but... So, you set it up. Okay, so we were at Chicago O'Hare Airport. Do you like how she's like, I don't know how to start and I'm like, I've

rehearsed this. We were at Chicago O'Hare Airport. And my accent is so back. We're Chicago O'Hare. It's my shirt. Oh, your shirt and my hat. Oh, crap. The lights. Can I get a bagel? Do you watch the kid? That little boy was like today while outside the Woodmans, I'm gonna watch the whites turn off. And he sits outside the store and waits for the store lights to turn off at closing.

And then, so he's turned around and then the lights turn off and he looks at the camera and goes, day turned off. How old is he? 33. He's gotta be in third, second grade. Love that. Loves it.

Pouring out for the turnoff. So somebody came up to us at Chicago airport and he's standing in the airport and I'm trying to get a pretzel because I'm big, right? 195 pounds now, biggest I've been in four years. It's really hard. And thank you.

Thank you for saying nothing. And... I actually think I'm your size because I'm buying large, come dig our son things. I put them on, it's like a child in his dad's clothes. You're by and large, by and large. Like what the fuck? Go ahead, sorry. I'm by and enlarged.

This guy comes up with a stack of glossy printouts of me. And goes, Trixie, I didn't think I'd catch you. Can you sign these for me? And it isn't a fan, you guys. It's not a flight attendant noticing us. It's not you at your waiting for your gate, take your head from off and like, oh my God, love her. Yeah. It's a person who profits off signatures of us, a reseller

yes, with a ream of bootlegger bootlegger with a ream of. Printed off unauthorized headshots of us badly printed by the way. Yeah, pixelated, nasty. And not authorized by us or the photographers who took them. And so the first time I'm standing there, I'm signing, and I go, how did you get in here? We're at the airport. During a connection.

No, no, a connection. We were doing a one hour connection. St. Louis to Madison. And I said, how did you know we were going to be here? Connecting in Chicago for one hour. Yes. And he said, well, there's only so many ways for you to get from St. Louis to here. And I figured this is, and I said, I don't believe you.

I think somehow you knew we were on this flight and I don't like it. It makes me feel unsafe. Number one. Number one, I feel unsafe. So I go, how did you get in here? He goes, well, I knew you were going to be here because there's only so many ways you could get to Madison. I said, okay. And then I said, well, how did you even get in the terminal?

He goes, I bought an airport ticket, Mary. He said, I bought an airport ticket, Mary. Yeah, he probably bought a $40 Avello Airlines or Spirit ticket, like, you know, whatever, and then went in through the security and then found us in the terminal. So I signed the whole stack and then I go, have you seen Kya in here yet?

He goes, no, where is she? I said, she's not gonna wanna do this. And I said, I don't think I wanna do it again either, just so you know. Like if you don't try to come find me. So if you try to find me, I'm flying away from you now. You know, I'm not doing this. So she called me and she gave me the heads up

and I was like, okay. I go, there's one of them in the airport. So I'm over by somewhere and he comes, he approaches me and I'm like, okay. I go, there's one of them in the airport. Yeah, so I'm over by somewhere and he comes, he approaches me and I'm like, what are you gonna do with these photos? And I'm mostly like, what are you gonna do with these Funko pop things? And he told me point blank,

he's gonna exchange them for RuPaul Funkos because RuPaul's are more valuable. Also, he told me yours are way more valuable than mine, which I believe. So anyways. That part I'm happy you told you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am, so I was like, you know what? There's something about this doesn't feel right.

So give me 10 bucks for his signature. And he went to the, and he was gonna, he didn't have any cash. He was gonna PayPal me. And I'm like, I really thought he was gonna stiff me. I really, really did. But he PayPaled me 80 bucks, but I still didn't feel right. I was like, ugh.

So his friend came with some cash and I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna do this. Can I interject? Yeah. Before that friend came to you, that other guy came to me and I said, you know, I just did this for some other guy and I feel weird about it.

Yeah. And he said, so you're not even gonna sign one? I said, no, I said, I don't wanna like encourage this. Yes. I don't wanna encourage you doing this again. Yeah. I was trying to figure out a way to be direct, clear and not mean, it was challenging.

And then I was on the phone with you in the air pod when he came up to her. So I said, I said, bitch, you leave me. I said, you mute me. And you talk to him while I listen right now. Did you hear it? All of it. So he comes up and he goes, can you sign this?

And she goes, I thought you were really nice. You said, I won't, and I'm going to tell you why. You said, these photos of us, these aren't just photos of us. These are taken by professional photographers, and this is their art, and they're friends of ours. And their livelihood. And they're livelihood. And these are our friends, and you're kind of stealing

from them. And if we sign it, we're kind of cosigning that you keep printing bootleg shit of theirs to have us endorse. Yeah. Kind of explained it to him. And by the way, I heard in his voice he had the nerve to be disappointed. Which bitch, get a job. You know what I mean? Like, girl. If you have the ingenuity of finding out where we are

and coming through the airport, mama, you could be a private investigator. Go shoot another COO. You know what I mean? Like, girl, you could be anywhere private investigator. Go shoot another COO. You know what I mean? Like, you could be anywhere. You could be starting a revolution. Girl, you could dismantle the patriarchy, bitch. Girl. And they're also like, this doesn't matter either. But I was just like, why does it bother me?

A, because it feels stocky, feels following me. I feel used. I feel used. And it's us endorsing, yes, please steal our friends' photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please continue to pimp them out at your house. You know what, it was the trading card thing.

It was the trading up. That's what really got me, got my ego. It's like, I'm gonna trade this Funko in for RuPaul's because that is three times more expensive. I was like, you fucking piece of shit. The art of the deal. Yeah. The art of the deal. So you're using me as a bark,

you're like stepping on my back to get to her. Yeah. I was like, no ma'am shit. She art of the deal. Yeah. They art of the deal. So you're using me as a bar, you're like stepping on my back to get to her. Yeah. I was like, no ma'am. It just, two months ago it happened to me, I DJed at High Tops Los Feliz. I finished my DJ set, I walked outside the bar, and they were standing outside the bar with a bunch of printouts. I'm like, so you didn't even pay the cover to come hear my shitty music? Mary, there always a, I've done it like ten times after my show.

After the show. One time, Guy was waiting at the door with a pallet of Funko Box. Mary! So many. So many. I'm like, what is going on here? And I feel bad because obviously you've been on here,

but I have no obligation to you. You're not, if you were a real friend, a real fan, I will get down on my knees and eat your fucking pussy. I will eat pencil shavings out of your dirty gray clip. I don't care. But like... I will take that Sharpie and stick it up my ass. Girl, but you're not a fan.

You're not a supporter of queer shit. You know, you're not holding space. You're not in queer media. You're not in queer media. Ah! I didn't want this. I didn't want this. I'd sell, you know, I don't know how widespread it is,

but yeah. So anyway, I just wanted to say that like... I've seen a couple of posts. If you're a fan, like come up always. But if you're a reseller, stealing pictures of our friends and asking us to co-sign on it, you got another thing coming, honey. Cause guess what?

You just spent the day at the Chicago airport for nothing. You get nothing. Good day, sir. You stole fizzy lifting drinks. at the Chicago airport for nothing. You get nothing. Good day, sir. You stole fizzy lifting drinks. Signatures, she has none. She has none. She gave me a key chain of myself too. I said, I know what I look like, faggot.

I was like, I don't want that. He's like, you're gonna give to me my own merch that I don't sell? Bootleg of my own merch. Bootleg of my own merch. I got like, I got a key thing. You're also stealing from Funko. You're stealing from everybody involved in that.

I don't know. I just, it bothered me. And we talked about it a little bit on stage and it wasn't really funny. But I thought on this pod, it was worth mentioning. When you're stealing from a friend of ours and asking us to sign it, think about why that would bother us.

Yeah, it's funny because I don't know. I feel like on one hand it's like, just be grateful that you're, I don't know, I feel like on one hand it's like, just be grateful that you're, I don't know, I just, I feel like you can do whatever you want. Be grateful someone wants to use you. Yeah. Like, no. Be grateful that you're hot enough to be. And also you come into the airport like,

girl, you're not traveling. I have no obligation to. It's weird. And also if I sign this for you, you'll do it again to someone else because you think this is cool. And I said, how did you start doing this? And the guy told me he met a celebrity, and that's when he realized he could find anyone. And I said, well, I'd love to meet my dad.

You could use this time more wisely. Damn. Anyway, I don't want to get heated. Okay, okay, okay. I hope that's funny. I don't know. No, it's interesting, at least to me. This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit.

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a website or domain. Today's episode of ball in the beautiful sponsored by Airbnb. Y'all, the holidays are upon us. I have to tell you guys, I had not been to wassaki Wisconsin in so many years since pre COVID and I went up there last month. And of course, my whole family moved to Milwaukee. You guys know I bought my mama house. And so everyone lives in Milwaukee now. So I had nowhere to stay.

And there's not even like hotels in that area. It's such a small area. So I got on Airbnb and my host Jodi, hi Jodi. She probably doesn't listen to this or know who I am, but she made it so easy. Her cabin was beautiful. It was like right in the middle of my small town to know exactly where it was.

The wifi, the heating, and it was like a family cabin. So it had a bunch of like, you know, DVDs. You know, when you go on vacation, you just like watch, you know, movies with your family. It was perfect for staying a couple of days. It had everything for cooking. It had knives. Like because it's a real family's cabin,

I didn't have to bring anything. In my suitcase, I packed a pan. I packed like a spatula because I thought it'd be cooking breakfast. And they had all of that. It was so nice. You know, it was just perfect for me. And it slept eight,

but honestly it was so affordable that I just got it anyway. So instead of a bunch of kids beds being used and stuff, it was just like, had a full bedroom. It was like perfect, perfect for me. I could have never achieved like that experience of like relaxed and everything kind of provided for me if I had stayed in a hotel. I mean a hotel in rural Wisconsin. So check out airbnb.com or check out the Airbnb app, download it. I cannot recommend it enough. Trips are always better with Airbnb. Okay, if you were part of the Terrifier,

okay, at KatzZamo, if you were part of the Terrifier franchise, would you be killed or would you be the killer? No, I would be killed, and I think I figured out the way to do it. Somehow, Art the Clown wanders into a drag show and I've got my Beyonce fan, and it's like one of those really big industrial fans and it's blowing my human hair

and it's so punty. It's hanging off the back of Lana Del Rey's boyfriend's boat. Yes! It's one of those giant fans. It's hooked up to a generator. Girl. Yeah, he takes my head and he,

he basically woodchips my face. Like he goes, and then he pulls it back and like my nose is gone. And then, and then my whole mouth and nose is gone. Oh, so it's kind of different levels. Yeah, and then it's like until he holds like a skull with a wig. And then, and then my whole mouth and nose is gone. Oh, so it's kind of different levels. Yeah. And then it's like, until he holds like a skull with a wig.

And the skull comes out of the wig. Yeah. Plop. And he puts the wig on. And he does, I got the strength, strength, strength. Yes, yes, yes. He lives in you. Is that the end?

No. Yes. All right, deleted dyke. At deleted dyke wants to know, hi, balds. So say zero percent is you just pooped and you're feeling great, and 100% is girl, you are going to shit yourself. At what percentage do you decide

to make your way to a toilet? Wow. An SAT question? Girl. Wait, what? This is like, if one train is going 150 miles, you know. I don't understand the question. I try to go early.

It's better for you to go right away. I don't care if you're stuck on your computer, trying to finish a movie. If you feel the beat drop, you scuttle. You know? But if you go too early, you're gonna be sitting there a while too. I mean, I always go like in the morning. It's like, it was like clockwork.

I had a gay friend who was so constipated that he, um, did poppers on the toilet. To make you poop? Yeah. Oh shit. Well, if you smoke, if you coffee and smoke cigarettes, you got to sunlock. He needs some fiber.

Girl. Frosted mini-wheats. Eat the wig. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like a bunch of people, what about you? When do you go to the bathroom? In the morning.

All right, cause the coffee. Huge log, no wipe. What about you? When do you go to the bathroom? In the morning. All right, because the coffee... Huge log. No wipe. I feel a bunch of people... I don't like... When something like that is said

and I look over and Nick is just texting, no response. That's how I know that that person's been blown out. This career has blown out that person's ability to process fear. Oh, my God. I feel like a bunch of people believe that TV streaming show cancellations over the past year were a clear indication of how the election results would go.

Just further proof that our elections are predetermined and rigged. Based on that, who do you think is the sexiest person in the world? This is from at-hog jerky. Jesus Christ, that is so stupid. Who is the sexiest person in the world? Margot Robbie. Can we do, can we do, can we do? I think it's Margot Robbie.

Or we're talking 20 years ago, Monica Bellucci. I mean, she's still stunning. I'm gonna say Selma. Selma Hayek? Selma Hayek. Selma Hayek, and I guess if it was, I hate to gender anybody, but I guess on the flip side, if it was a male.

It depends on what time of the day. I really think Miss Chris Pine gets the girls together. See, that is so funny because I don't. Okay. Like, no, no, no, no, I think he's extremely handsome. Don't get me wrong. But he's like, is Chris Pine versus Chris Evans type of thing? Like who would win in a cage match?

Cage match being sex in your bedroom. Chris Pine versus Chris Evans. Now I can't tell who's who. Now I can't imagine who's who. Chris Pine versus Chris Evans. Versus Chris Hemsworth. Now I can't imagine who's who. Chris Pine versus Chris Hemsworth. I saw Monet Exchange playing a game like, do you know this white person? And I honestly could put that game in Stolnat No,

because I can't tell you which one of those Chris's is who. Well, one's Thor. I'm thinking of the one that plays the flame, the flamer. Flame on. Flame me, baby. I'm thinking of the one that plays the flame, the flamer. Flame on. Flame me, baby. I'm flaming. No! The Fantastic Four.

That's Chris Evans. Okay, sure. Okay, that's Chris Evans. Flame me, baby. Chris Hemsworth is Thor. Oh, wait, cause his brother Scott Evans, gay. From Barbie. Oh.

See, I need to have the deseparation of the gayness. Oh, I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Well, Chris Evans is from Boston, Boston area. Who's Luke Evans? Great question. Who's Luke Colmes? Luke Evans is gay.

He's gay. He was in Nine Perfect Strangers. Maybe. Wow. Yeah. Really makes you think. I really think that Miss Hayek is just, I mean, when I think of her in... Yeah, sensational. From Dusk till Dawn. Yes.

I think her dogma, everything, she just is gorgeous. And I love how her in... From dusk till dawn. Yes. I think of her dogma, everything. She just is gorgeous. And I love how her Spanish accent increases. Honey, the velocity. Twenty years ago, no accent. Girl. Mama, she's doubling down. She's great.

Okay. I think that probably means that she speaks to non-English speakers often and all the time. You know what I mean? Absolutely, absolutely. At only Otis in town, I don't know what that... My friend smells often and all the time. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. At only Otis in town, I don't know what that... My friend smells really bad all the time. God.

I tried to tell them, but they brushed it off like it was a one-time thing. How should I go about telling them without it seeming like an intervention? This is actually a great question. Because I have a poor memory. I said it a million times when the guy that I was fucking told me I stink like shit.

It really hurt. It stung bad. Like he bra... snapped my fibula. Pfft. Snapped. And it took a long time to heal. But you gotta just hit him with the hard truth. You gotta hit him with it. You gotta go, whack! What do you do? Honestly, I think most people would recoil

in a way that ends the friendship. I bumped into somebody in Milwaukee this weekend. I gave him a hug and I was like, -"Oh, are you dying? Like the smell was like, if you do, you know, but that man was a saint. He really jumped started my career of not smelling like shit. Do you know what I mean? I have you ever smelled an alcoholic?

I don't, this is not to be funny. Advanced alcoholism. They have like a base level, sour alcohol smell that I feel like is impossible to address because I smelled it. And then I'm like, Oh, well, it's like a base level sour alcohol smell that I feel like is impossible to address because I smelled it and then I'm like, but this is from your drinking. A heavy smoker smells like shit all the time. I mean, it's true. I just had my first cigarette of the day.

I know I smell like shit. I think I would do monkey see monkey do. I think around my friend I'll be like, oh, I just took a shower, I still feel so fresh. Do you mind if I put my deodorant on? It looks kind of crazy. Can I wash my teeth in your house?, oh, I just took a shower, I still feel so fresh. Do you mind if I put my deodorant on? It looks kind of crazy. Can I wash my teeth in your house? Like, I would kind of do a lot of...

Can I use your hands to wash my body? Right. You should try this. Right. That's actually really good. I don't know. Give them soap. No, I would say, I would sit them down and be like,

you might get offended by this, but I got to tell you something. I'm going to tell you something that somebody told me one day. Well, you, honestly, you have kind of an end because you've been on the receiving end. Yes, I was hit with some hard truths that at the time was a snapped fibula, a broken femur, a dislocated shoulder. But you get through it, you just smell like shit.

Onwards and upwards. Yeah, you smell like shit. Here's some soap, make it happen. I have almost no body here. And so I think that I have an easier time. Yeah, that could be true. Not necessarily. I know it is for you, but it's not necessarily for other people.

If they're big and fat, they got to get into them rolls. Yeah, the creases and crevices. All right. When did you know you quote, made it either individually or together? Was there a specific moment of achievement that felt extra special? I would say getting cast on a HBO show. Oh, was that in room? That was the room 104.

Yeah, that was wild. That's like, I was like, HBO? You gotta be kidding me. Home box office. Home box office. Now Max. Six episodes of Doom Prophecy? I got your number, Hussie. I need 10.

The show is so good, girl. It's so good. The acting is superb. The production design is amazing. The show is so good, girl. It's so good. The acting is superb. The production design is amazing. The story is incredible. Why are you doing it like that? Six episodes, you fucking cunts. God.

I'll watch it, I'll watch it. It's, it's... It's the part of the thing when I felt really like whatever. It's spectacular. You got to, you got to... The... You've had a lot. Well, I'm trying to think of what was the thing, honestly,

when my own doll happened with Integrity. I remember I was filming tricks in a motel at the time, and I sat in my hotel room and hugged the prototype and cried. You were filming a TV show. That you starred in. Yeah, but I guess for me, because I love toys, it was like, whoa, a toy of yourself. That felt significant.

And you know, there's an Ariana Grande doll of Glinda. Do you know what I mean? If I was in something where I was a character, but it was the doll of me, that really gagged me. You know what though? I'm gonna change mine. I'm gonna say when RuPaul said I was a star. Yeah, honestly.

I was like, okay, I'm gonna believe that. Yeah. You know? And I guess when I won Drag Race, but I mean, but at the time I wasn was like, okay, I'm gonna believe that. Yeah. You know? And I guess when I won Drag Race, but I mean... But at the time, I wasn't like... I'll just be honest, at the time, me celebrating that was not encouraged. Right, right, right. I was not like a lot of people like that I won.

You know, everyone was just mad at me. So, it was a weird... I was like, wow, like, you want your... It was like bedazzled. You won Drag Race, but in the most way where you don't get excited, huh? But you have cancer now. The next day, when I won drag race,

remember the next day all the press was like, have you been online? How are you holding up? And I was like, damn, I don't know. Like I'm not mad. I don't know. I'm fine. Yeah, fuck.

Let's see. Okay. Fuck, Mary kill the sand worm in dune. Yeah, fuck. Let's see. Okay, fuck, marry, kill. The sand worm in Dune, Eliza Sue, Monstro Eliza Sue in The Substance or Art the Clown. Ooh. Damn, okay, these are really you coded. Yeah, it's for me.

This question's for you. Yeah, I would, well, I would fuck Art. I would marry the worm and I would kill Sue. Why are you killing Sue? Because she's- What about the Demi on the back? But she's, I love her, but she's good. I mean, you can't, I would marry the worm and I would kill Sue. Why are you killing Sue? Because she's... What about the Demi on the back? But she's... I love her, but she's good. I mean, you can't... I would fuck her, but that's the one night only type of situation.

She's gonna... she's gonna like chunk off. Respect the balance. Yeah. Yeah, she didn't respect the balance. She's not gonna respect our boundaries. I'm not gonna answer that question, because I don't wanna be with any of those people. So, I think I would kill the man for... the woman from the substance though, because I don't think she's doing any of those people. So I think I would kill the man, the woman from the substance though, because I don't think she's doing well.

Like that worm is... seems to be okay. Art seems to be okay. I think Sue, Eliza Monster Sue, she really needs help. She needs a supportive community. Supportive referral. At protocol, cold roid.

At protocol droid. Protocol droid. Dick hurts from Holden. I know. If you could be any type of condiment, what would you be and why? I don't know. I don't know how to say it's Sriracha. Sriracha. Love that. And what dish would you most want to be served on?

Oh, well not Sriracha in Love that. And what dish would you most want to be served on? Oh, well, not sriracha in beef noodle soup. When I used to go to Nose & Company all the time, my friend would take that sriracha and squirt it right on the mac and cheese. And I would just have to be like, you pig. I mean, I'll put it on white rice. I, yeah, I mean, it goes, it has a lot of uses. For sure.

It's flavorful. And it doesn't taste like much. It's just heat. You know, it's not like... You know. What condiment would I be? You guys, you know, I famously don't love condiments. Does peanut butter count?

Uh, yeah. Nope. Um, condiments like mayo, mustard, ketchup, um, hot sauce, soy sauce, I don't... Buffalo ranch, Thousand Islands. I get ketchup and only with fries. I don't like sauces. I like dry bland food.

Me fucking too. And I have like 42 years of that hell. Let me live. That hell. I like baked carrots with cinnamon. Get out of my house. I like them real thick and juicy. I give a piece of that bubble.

I like big butts and I will not lie. All right. At Dolly Daydream, favorite fragrances in and out of drag. Oh my god, easy peasy. So my favorite fragrance in drag, it's like, it's gonna be until I die. Oud Save the Queen by Atkinson's. I love it so much, I love it so much. It's what I always wear in drag.

And then out of drag, I love this, um, this one, this Italian thing, it's called stercas, and it's Latin for shit. I'm wearing it right now. I'm wearing it right now. It's great. Out of drag, I like to wear... Dreg.

Dreg, out of drag, I like to wear... Wear fresh or fruity or floral? Woody. Woody, sandy, tobacco, something on fire. You would love all the ones I just got at the scent bar. I like that replica replica by the fireplace. It just smells like wood burning. And then in drag, I just wear Marc Jacobs perfect all the time.

Otherwise you guys, I do a lot of scent bird collabs on the YouTube channel. And some of those little ones they've sent me, they have a new strawberry short cake collab that smells like the plastic eighties strawberry shortcake doll. And I've been wearing that in drag and I just love it. Cool. What is your favorite food to snack on when you're feeling a little cutesy, a little precocious, or like a little rascal?

You, she is the queen of snacks. I, queen of flips, queen of snacks. Queen of snacks. Her dressing, in your dressing room, you always got them dark pretzels. Well, so these are hard to come by. Oots, U-T-Z, special extra darks. Burn them up.

Leave them in the oven. Put them back in there. They're so good. You like normal pretzel rods? Not really. I want them dark like that. I like the sourdough nibbler, like those big ass motherfucker,

the Bavarian ones. You like peanut butter pretzels? Mm. No. Okay. No. Okay. No. Chocolate, you eat it. Girl, our dressing rooms, they have to patrol me.

I get like some health, mostly health snacks because, but Miss Thing, when I'm with the good good, I go in there like a thief in the night. I know, I told him to get rid of all of it because I'm like, I don't want all this shit, it's too wasteful. The chocolate chip cookies. It's crazy.

She gets chocolate chip cookies in every room. It's crazy, it's crazy. I get the green juice. I get bananas. I love Smart Pop in the dressing room. Really? In drag. I'm hungry, but I can't eat heavy. No shit. I know.

The white cheddar Smart Pop is horny. I love those high shoes. I love those high shoes, but they're going to rip my teeth right out of the socket. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Can you please send words of motivation to those who want to get shit done? Just do one thing at a time.

Let's take a break. Ask Cindy to do the QED report for you. Yes, and this is so important. No matter what, I always say... I'm right on top of that, Rose. You know, I've really turned a corner in my new self. Unless you really want to do it, really ask yourself why you have a compulsion that it has to be done.

Well, let's say, I mean, let's be specific. Let's say it's studying for a final, something that's very relatable to the listener. How do you, and you, they're chronic procrastinators. Right. What kind of advice do you have for a chronic procrastinator? Someone who's always written the term paper the day before, waits till the last moment, stress and all that.

Well, I know some people feel like, I do my best work under pressure. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you do your first draft under pressure. Honey, that's what I'm saying. If I were a teacher, this is what I would do. I would be like, I do my best work under pressure. I'm like, no, you don't. No, you do your first draft under pressure. Honey, that's what I'm saying. If I were a teacher, this is what I would do. I would be like, the paper is due on Friday.

I'd be like, on Monday, I'd be like, take this. This was your first draft. You flop, try again. Next week is the, you know what I mean? That's savage. Nobody does that. Make people turn in entire drafts. Like here's, I want the final. I want the first draft on Friday.

No, no, but you don't tell them that. You don't tell them that. But you don't tell them? No, hell no. Because they're gonna give you their first draft as their final product. Because they're doing it the night before on Adderall. But I'd never had a teacher that gave it back

and said, fix it. Right? Because if you write a book, you don't turn in your first fucking draft. Yeah, we did. But, you know, that's us. Like, yeah, lately I'm just like, is it that serious? Lately I've been trying to, you know, what if we miss a week on YouTube?

I'm like, what if we do? Girl, what if the CEO of National Health Care gets shot? You know, it's just nothing's that serious. But I would just say, I would just say, there's no way around it other than sitting down and dedicating yourself to it. Yeah, or this is a good one. Right action leads to right thinking. So you don't feel your way into productivity.

You do your way into productivity. Yeah. You know? Or you know what I'll do if I have to work out and I don't feel like it? I'll be like, all right, I'm gonna do some work and then I'm gonna work out and I don't feel like it? I'll be like, all right, I'm going to do some work and then I'm going to work out. Because I don't want to work out.

I'll get so much time. Or you put a butt plug in. Let's take another break. Right away. OK, so at Busy B wants to know, are you and David still together? You know, this is such an opportune time to mention that we have not been together for some time.

Interesting. And we talked about on the YouTube channel this week and it happened a very long time ago and because of a lot of things, the television program and everything, there was just, it never felt like the right time to say anything. And then so much time has gone by that now it feels like such old news. And I have to remember, oh, not everybody knows, but it's, it's old news now to all of you and everyone, but everybody in this room, everybody in my bubble, my family, my friends, it's not old news.

I'm shocked. Yeah. And it was... I feel so shocked. I feel so betrayed. Yes. New year, new vibes. And at a certain point, I felt like I had to say something. Yeah, so it's a weird thing, like, when you want to keep your private life private,

but you also need to address the situation. Yes. I mean, breakups are hard enough, but imagine there's... Please respect our privacy at this time as we heal. Yes, like breakups are hard enough, but imagine there's everybody... You've welcomed everybody into your life to talk about your relationship and view it and root for it. And then you feel like you have to tell everyone there's no Santa Claus.

It's like, Brangelina's over. Right. And we're basically like that richer even. More sexy. But I'm still really proud of our motel and everything we've done together. And, you know, I wouldn't say that we're best friends, but now everybody knows.

And I have a new boyfriend. His name is David. Shut up! Um, yeah, thank you, Busy B, for asking. Okay, athertime35 wants to know, what's your best kept beauty secret? I don't think you keep any beauty secrets because you have a beauty company.

I think you just gotta drink. I mean, this is... Honestly, I love everyone. Mm. Water. Drinking water and exercise. Water. Is... Water. Water. Water. Water. Drinking water and exercise. Water. Water.

Water. Water. Water. And a lot, I mean, I just think I love makeup, I love skincare. There's really no way around. Sleep. Sweating, sleeping, and drinking water. Sleeping.

Sleeping's a big one. If you don't, if you get sleep deprived, it's bad. Everything. Especially, I mean, when I was younger, I felt like I could live on very little sleep and look exactly the same. Yeah, you probably could. And now, like, if I'm tired or hungover,

I swear to God, I look like the... The terrifying. ...Elizabeth Sue version of myself. If you could be instantly good at a hobby, what would you choose? Ooh, um, a unicycle. Skateboarding? Skateboarding is so conting. That would be amazing. What would you choose? Ooh, unicycle. Skateboarding? Skateboarding is so conty.

That would be amazing. Skateboarding, and I would get so much pussy, meaning dick. Elle, yes you would. Girl, when I did Cyndi Lauper, one of the venues was connected to an ice rink, and so next door I was peeking in and watching people ice skate.

It's so con. It's conty. Skateboarding would be amazing. Figure skating is fucking fierce. I would be so irritating. Ah! Mary, a 42 year old gay skateboarder? Girl.

Bring a book. Well, she went out there, she fell once, and now she's in the ICU. What is your most recent impulse purchase? Ooh, this is good. Crazy if true. Yes. There's, you go first, cause I can't think of it yet,

but I know there's one. This isn't super recent, but like six years ago, six months ago, I bought that Apple Vision Pro. That $3,500 thing? And I love it. I use it like probably twice a week. I love to lay in bed and watch TikToks or answer emails. Or sometimes this is my favorite.

When I'm working on remixes and stuff, I have my computer in my lap and then my goggles, I'll like lay in bed and watch TikToks or answer emails. Or sometimes this is my favorite. When I'm working on remixes and stuff, I have my computer in my lap, and then my goggles, I'll like lay back. So instead of this with my computer, I'm like relaxed up and out, and I have giant screens of all my music shit I'm working on. That's incredible.

And it just keeps me from doing this for hours. It's more like, all right, I can get in the position I wanna be in, and like all muscles loose, like work on my computer. Dick out hard. Balls clamped. Yeah, but it was a little bit of impulse purchase. I went into the store for a demo and they got me.

Well, that's, I just thought of mine. I went to The Grove to get a new iPhone because mine broke, and I went into Philip Plin and I bought $2,000 boots. And I'm so scared to wear them, they're just wrapped up in a box. What happened? I did.

Oh, they're battery operated. Oh, you guys, Nick is here. Nick, Nick. Yeah, $2,000 boots. I went in for boy clothes. Girl. I didn't get any boy clothes. I just left with the boots. Very you though. Yeah. They're so cunt, but I think they're like, I'm not get any boy clothes. I just left with the boots. Very you though.

Yeah, they're so cunt, but I think they're like, I'm not gonna wear them because I'm too afraid. Where will you be on January 6th, 2025? Girl, that is, okay, at cookies mom asks us, she and I are on a, we're in a meeting in a studio that day. And I said on the group chat. Oh yeah. On the group chat, they were like,

they were like, are you guys available January 6th? And I said, last year I was busy, but this year I'm wide open. Which was a bold. On the group chat, they were like, are you guys available January 6th? And I said, last year I was busy, but this year I'm wide open, which was a bold move for the group chat. I think it was fine. I think that's it. All right. No, I wanna read this.

Yeah, go for it. I'm a whore. Sad face. Is there any way I could remain faithful to my partner while maintaining a single lifestyle? I wanna have my cake and eat it too, because what's the point of having the cake in the first place, IDK, comma.

Okay, so I think there's several approaches to this dilemma. Number one, I think you really need to examine the concept of cheating. You really need to break that down. And you need to break it down with your partner. And then you really need to define it, and you need to define exactly the emotions that are involved in a betrayal of that thing.

You know what I mean? And then, I don't know, then go from there. Because for some people responding Merry Christmas to your ex is cheating. Mm-hmm, right. Some people porn is cheating. Yeah. And to some people full fucking is cheating,

isn't cheating, as long as everyone knows about it. As long as I'm in the room. Yeah. Getting cucked. So it's, I love the cucking. Me, as long as everyone knows about it. As long as I'm in the room. Yeah. Getting cucked. So it's, I love the cucking. Me too. I love the theater of it.

They're like this close from the pussy getting fucked and they're like, why? Why? And then they have to lick up the cum. Okay, Kelly Mantle's in the studio and since you said that, she's probably about to run in here. So you guys, we have Kelly Mantle on the pod next week. And so we've been, I just want to say this year,

we're having less and less guests this year. We also would like to return to the good old days of, you know, woke liberals and queer media. We're bald sitting talking. We've seen a few posts. We've seen some posts, but we got to have Kelly. Yeah. So you're going to like it.

We're having Kelly in this blue fucking background and you're going to like it. We're, we're having Kelly in this blue background and you're going to like it. Yeah. We got Kelly Mantles ugly ass and this goddamn blue background. So get into it. Okay. Let's get that whore in here and put her on the eggshell blue background. Okay. Tiffany blue, Tiffany blue, Kelly, get in here. Try putting this podcast on your living room TV. You will die. Wait, do you know what that bitch Dante from TikTok who's like,

you know what's another name? Kelly. Kelly. Hey, Kelly, get in here, bitch. You know what? I'll show you later. Okay. Happy new year. Happy birthday, Sarah. Yes. Don't forget, take care of yourself. Mwah! Mwah! This podcast is brought to you by Aura, the most complete online safety toolkit.

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Once more, that's aura.com slash defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check their site for details. Today's episode of Ball in the Beautiful sponsored by Airbnb. Y'all, the holidays are upon us. I have to tell you guys, I had not been to Wasaki, Wisconsin in so many years since pre-COVID.

And I went up there last month. And of course, my whole family moved to Milwaukee. You guys know I bought my mama house and so everyone lives in Milwaukee now. So I had nowhere to stay. And there's not even like hotels in that area. It's such a small area. So I got on Airbnb and my host Jodi, hi Jodi.

She probably doesn't listen to this or know who I am, but she made it so easy. Her cabin was beautiful. It was like right in the middle of my small town, so exactly where it was. The Wi-Fi, the heating, and it was like a family cabin. So it had a bunch of like, you know, DVDs. You know, when you go on vacation,

just like watch, you know, movies with your family. It was perfect for staying a couple days. It had everything for cooking. It had knives. Like because it's a real family's cabin, I didn't have to bring anything. In my suitcase, I packed a pan. I packed like a spatula because I thought it'd be cooking breakfast

and they had all of that. It was so nice. You know, it was just perfect for me and it slept eight, but honestly it was so affordable that I just got it anyway. So instead of a bunch of kids beds being used and stuff, it was just like, had a full bedroom. It was like perfect, perfect for me.

I could have never achieved like that experience of like relaxed and everything kind of provided for me if I had stayed in a hotel. I mean a hotel in rural Wisconsin. So check out airbnb.com or check out the Airbnb app, download it. I cannot recommend it enough. Trips are always better with Airbnb.