The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Nobody's Snowballing in This Economy with Trixie and Katya

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

In a world where one's public image is everything, we here at Bald, LLC would like to propose a different route: that of radical honesty. Have a small penis? Wear it like a tiny, proud badge. Hairy in... all the wrong places? Include that despicable rat's nest in your nude pic. What we're trying to say is stop trying to be something you aren't, and live your life as the disgusting, disfigured, and completely unlovable quasi-human-being that you've always known yourself to be. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:42 Historic. Historic. Historic. Historic. Do you want to tell the kids? Hi there. Is that even pointed on me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's on both of us.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Do you see? Well, I got my tussy. I'm tussied out. I put my whole robe of tussy into this performance tonight. Girl, is it cold? We got... Chesty. She's got a cough.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I'm fatigued. I don't know what's going on. We have a croup going around. We got the... Well, Tom nearly died. Tom nearly died. Then Eden got sick. Now I'm sick. Now. I don't know what's going on. We have a group going around. Well, Tom nearly died. Tom nearly died. Then Eden got sick. Now I'm sick.
Starting point is 00:01:09 Now you're sick. Yeah. And I chose to get sick on the best day of the tour, which was 7 a.m., 6.30, wake-up call to a flight delayed and then do a show that night. Travel day, show day, not great. Travel day, show day, not great. KMS. Travel day, show day, not great. KMS, bitch.
Starting point is 00:01:25 Yeah. There's no way to complain about show business without sounding ungrateful. Yeah. But I could complain at a gig that pays $30 or $30 million. I'll find something. Yeah. That is my X-Men power. Take any wonderful situation and turn it into a horror movie.
Starting point is 00:01:44 There was a girl on American, did you watch American Horror Story Cult? No. Okay. Leslie Grossman. Yeah. The actress. She plays a witch whose ability is,
Starting point is 00:01:53 she like rolls her eyes back and then tells you whether or not there's gluten in something. And then her power evolves to being able to say exactly how many calories are in something. Diet girl. Yeah. Diet girl. That's so, that's so, that's so that's so that's so that's so gay i love it
Starting point is 00:02:08 she's like down about it because she has a shitty power yeah she does have a shitty power she's a shitty power i can tell you if there was asbestos in this building that's it'll be more useful well did you know that buildings can have asbestos as long as it's sealed off okay but if you want to update the building at all, by law, you have to remove it. Okay. I learned that because the motel had asbestos and we had to pay to have it all removed. And I was like, what do we care if they die? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:34 They leave. What's the lifetime experience that they'll have forever? Or, you know, is the next six months? It could become more of a end of flight. Palliative care facility. Yes. The Trixie Motel Palli palliative care facility phasing them out yeah sunset awaits their invitation to the sunset that sounds like a cult yeah i've been watching a
Starting point is 00:02:53 lot of documentaries a lot of documentaries you have you've been watching rachel wait wait i didn't even get to the whole historic moment okay tell them okay so we performed i guess what you said uh uh the most well the most pop i don't know what do you said, the most, well, the most pop, I don't know, what do you call it? The most obese drag performers to ever step on stage in the same outfit. Period. That's what I heard. Fetty on the tilly. I am the biggest, the biggest drag queen.
Starting point is 00:03:20 The biggest, yeah. You won an award, which was the biggest drag queen. The biggest. Yeah. You won an award, which was the biggest drag queen. The biggest drag queen to make it up, make it out on stage and on her own two feet with no supports and no runway reinforcement. The audience slow clapped. It was like Remember the Titans or something. People were just slowly rising to their feet. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:40 And then what was it? About 75 minutes of continuously thunderous ovation. Yeah. And what song was playing? It was minutes of continuously thunderous ovation. Yeah. And what song was playing? It was just the elevator music. Was it Work That Pussy by Tiana Taylor? It was just a Muzak version, a karaoke version. My heart will go on.
Starting point is 00:03:57 It was Eye of the Tiger, but it was MIDI. Oh, my God. It was just piped in from the lobby. Somebody left a door open, but people were really, there were tears. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:09 On tour, do you gain or lose weight? I lose. Yeah. I lose weight. It really depends for me. I can be really good and come back snatched. Oh,
Starting point is 00:04:18 I've never done that. Or I can undo progress and come back. Months and months of diligent progress. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm coming back
Starting point is 00:04:25 Miss Big These whores are not Going to be able To handle me Physically They won't be able They won't be able To wrap their arms
Starting point is 00:04:30 Around you Well I told you About my grand scheme To gain three kilos Oh no Thirty Oh you're trying To gain thirty kilos
Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah sixty five pounds Holy shit Cause then Of muscle I'll take anything I'm not picky But I'll go on drag race as the big girl. If I go on drag race, I'm going to go on all stars.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Well, I mean, assuming they invite me. I'm sure they would. And then I'm going to go as a big girl, reinforce the runways and widen the door. Whatever. No. Widen the doors and reinforce the runways. Big girls come and win. I'm going to snatch the crown.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Ambitious. Focused. Diligent. So you're not just going to go through a physical transformation. Also a complete personality change. Yes. And I'm also, here's my thing. I'm going to bring Drag Race
Starting point is 00:05:18 back to its roots, okay? Which was? Would you like to share with the class? Can't do spirit? Can't do spirit? Can't do spirit I have a can't do spirit I can't do I've never flown spirit knock on wood
Starting point is 00:05:35 I did it once and never again It is a chicken cart with wings With bird wings, dead bird wings taped to it And they throw it in the air I put a video on Twitter saying spirit aligns, you better get spiritual because that plane's going to fall out of the fucking sky. And then somebody commented
Starting point is 00:05:50 don't fly spirit unless you want to become one. Isn't that crazy? It's true though. They're just rickety and rotten. Do we know that? Yes, I've been on spirit, bitch. It's rickety, rotten, and horrible. But wait, wait, wait. Back to me. I'm going on Drag Race.
Starting point is 00:06:09 65 pounds heavier. Big girl. Plus size, Diva. I'm going to go and I'm going to be unapologetically fat. Okay? No excuses. No qualifications. No reservations. What's the other version of that? Apologetically fat. Where you enter the room and you just go, sorry.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Well, you know, here's the thing about that. Like, a lot of times, there's always, like, I think the viewer and the producers and people, the critics, are always looking for, like, well, yeah, you're fat, but you don't want to be fat, do you? Mama, not me. Oh, they want that? No, but you know what I mean? Like, people are so fat. I'm not going to say fatphobic. I just, like, hate fat people.
Starting point is 00:06:44 That, like, they're always looking for always looking for a, you must hate yourself. You have to. You have to hate yourself. When people lose weight, it invites a congratulations. Of course. The discourse around being fat in this country or anywhere is really, really fascinating. People are fat. Let people be fat.
Starting point is 00:07:04 I mean, let them be fat and healthy. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fat people at the gym. More fat people at the gym. Be fat and go to the gym. Well, fat people are everywhere. So like, you know, whatever.
Starting point is 00:07:14 But it was, I thought it was, somebody said this and I thought it was very fascinating that like the discourse around being fat a lot of times is that the truth of it is that people hate fat people. And that's the truth. And it's like this whole like, what grinds me up is the patronizing language around like, I just want, you know, we just want you to be healthy.
Starting point is 00:07:45 We just want, like, looking out for your you to be healthy. We just, you know, we just want like looking out for your health. Girl, nobody's looking out for anybody's health. Certainly not in the United States. It depends. Have you ever met a doctor
Starting point is 00:07:52 who's looking out for your health and not trying to get rich? It depends. If you have, let's say you have some preexisting conditions and the doctor says the best thing you could do
Starting point is 00:08:00 would take some weight off. It would take stress off your heart. It would take a stress off your bad knees. Like whatever. Yeah. But girl. Then you listen to the doctor. Yes, of course. But like, people,
Starting point is 00:08:09 nobody's out there looking out for your health. They want you to be thin and sexy. That's all it is. Nobody cares about, like, just let people be big or whatever. Who cares? I think it goes both ways. No, it does. It does. Because a lot of, like, later in life, incurable things come from decades of poor habits attached
Starting point is 00:08:29 to being big. But see, when I miss big, when Miss Big goes through the runway like that, all that conversation is going to melt away. They're going to be like, she's huge and sexy. I have a huge boner. Yeah, yeah. Look at it. Look, my boner's even bigger now because there's all that.
Starting point is 00:08:45 And it better get bigger because she needs something big. You know? She needs Mr. Big. Yes. I think people might criticize me for fetishizing being fat, which of course is exactly what I'm doing. However, you know. This happens to me where my boyfriend's chubby and people will be like, oh.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Chubby chaser. That's your, I'm like, my boy, this man that I fuck happens to be chubby and people will be like, oh, chubby chaser. That's I'm like my boy. This man that I fuck has to be chubby. That is not a precursor saying that every man I fuck is chubby. Yeah. Does that happen to straight people? I'm sure. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:17 Yeah. Guys get criticized all the time for liking big girls. But if a girl dates a big wait, if a guy dates a big girl, people are like, oh, he likes big girls. But if a girl dates a big guy, no one cares. No one cares because that's the king of queens. It's the king of queens. That's the king of queens. What's his name?
Starting point is 00:09:30 Joe Pesci. Joe Pesci. Was it Joe Pesci? No. Kevin James. Kevin James. Kevin James. Big, big, great, big fatty.
Starting point is 00:09:37 And Leah. Leah Remini. Gorgeous, lovely gal. You know, that whole yarn, that whole sitcom model. I would fuck Kevin James. You would? I would have when I was younger, yes sitcom model. I would fuck Kevin James. You would? I would have when I was younger, yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:09:48 Yes. Paul Blart. Who is that? Paul Blart Mallcott. That last name is horrible. Paul Blart? That was the point. You want him as Blart?
Starting point is 00:09:59 It's big in Mr. Blart. One of the documentaries I recently watched that I turned. I think that's how they came up with it. I turned it off. It was a palliative care documentary about phasing out end of life care. And I couldn't watch it. Why'd you turn it off? I could.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Well, did I watch it? No, I watched the preview. And I moved on. You did. I moved on to something more uplifting like the John Wayne Gacy tapes. Or the Rachel Dolezal documentary. The Rachel Divide. I watched the Rachel Divide.
Starting point is 00:10:28 I've been doing a lot of Netflixing. Yeah, yeah. Netflixing has a lot of nonfiction content. Yeah, no shit, Mary. That's what they're known for. Oh, no, that's not true. They're just known
Starting point is 00:10:37 for having lots of trash. I watched Bad Vegan. Oh, is that the scam? What was all that? Give us a recap. Give us a recap. By the way, we still haven't gotten to the thing we were trying to talk about at the beginning. Oh, tell them the scam? What was all that? Give us a recap. Give us a recap. It was just... By the way, we still haven't gotten to the thing
Starting point is 00:10:46 where we were trying to talk about in the beginning. Oh, tell them the historical moment. And we only found this out from Karen from Finance. Yeah. She could be a liar. She could be a bald-faced liar. We did the biggest drag show in Australia. Yeah, this venue is 5,600 seats,
Starting point is 00:10:59 and they said it was the biggest, like, seated-in-one-event drag show here ever. Yeah. Maybe that's true. I don't know. I don't know, because Sydney Mardi Gras is enormous yeah maybe that's true i don't know i don't know because sydney mardi gras is enormous and that's the gay mardi gras do you know what i mean but it's seated theater maybe since this is a seated theater show oh maybe okay you know maybe that's what she meant well we sold 11 000 tickets that's fucking crazy crazy between today and tomorrow 11 000 yeah that's great it's awesome. I know. And I still can't get fucked.
Starting point is 00:11:26 11,000 people who come. Somebody on Grindr reached out to me and said, Katya had that break on stage. Did she get everything sorted? And I said, I don't know. She surely didn't. But you were in here at midnight. And I was like, I guess she didn't then. No, surely not.
Starting point is 00:11:41 No. I was up coughing until 4 a.m. Anyways. I'm only fucking straight guys now. What? Because they don't know who I am and they're not going to tell anybody that they slept with me. Oh, that's a good point. Gay guys used to tell me on the grind or whatever.
Starting point is 00:12:00 They used to be like, oh, love your work, whatever. Now they hide it. They say nothing. And it's a very weird thing. Yeah. They go, what are you's a very weird thing. Yeah. They go, what are you doing in town? What do you do for a living? And I go, you know, I went to your Instagram. You follow me. You know what I do. Crocheted Trixie blanket on your body right now. So now you're forcing me to do this improv. We're doing Groundlings. We're doing like
Starting point is 00:12:21 Second City. What are you doing? Okay. Give me a suggestion. Give me a suggestion. We're at like Second City. What are you doing? Okay, give me a suggestion. Give me a suggestion. We're at a shopping mall. Okay, great. No, but here's the thing that I'm not super comfortable with. Oh, my vagina's been out how long? Oh, no. Oh, gross.
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Starting point is 00:14:03 thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. The other day in Hobart, this guy wanted dick pics and I wouldn't send him one because I was not at the hotel at the moment. I don't have any dick pics on my phone. So I didn't't send him he said um and he got snippy with me like well are you talking me on a phone does your phone have a camera i was like damn i was like okay work he works at the
Starting point is 00:14:35 apple store i was like and i was like okay i guess i'll take one when i get back to the hotel i tried to take i mean i did take some and i have to hide them because i had given eden my phone to take, I mean, I did take some, and then I had to hide them because I had given Eden my phone to take some pictures and it comes right up. Girl, she gets what she gets. No, absolutely fucking. She's using it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My 24-year-old female assistant
Starting point is 00:14:51 does not need to see my penis. There's a, we have boundaries, Mary, boundaries. I'm saying she's going through your phone for a work thing. If she sees a nude, it's not going to derail her life. It will derail my life. I don't want, we have great, wonderful boundaries and we have wonderful relationship. I'm not doing that. She picks up your wet panties.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I know. She doesn't know you have sex. No, I know. But you're not her daughter. Isn't that enough humiliation? Isn't that enough humiliation? Would it be like if your mom found your porn or something? Would it be shame?
Starting point is 00:15:18 It's like, she knows what it smells like. She doesn't need to know what it looks like. You know what I mean? Like gross, gross, gross. She doesn't, she has a cast iron stomach, but it's the indignity of it yeah it's the indignity of it yeah anyways so um and i was just like i don't want to send him my dick pic he didn't know who i was he didn't follow me on instagram or anything like that but i guess is this stupid is it like naive or selfish or egotistical for me to be self-conscious about
Starting point is 00:15:44 the possibility of someone like telling their friends, this is Katya from Drag Race's dick and showing photos at brunch. Is that, I mean, maybe that's not a thing. I don't think people care. I would do it. I don't think people care. I would do it. It doesn't reflect badly on you though for having a sexual life. It reflects badly on them
Starting point is 00:15:59 for sharing someone's nudes without their permission. I know that's true. That's the moral issue. That's the moral issue. That's the moral angle. I'm just talking about the actual angle. Well, just know this. If they fuck you, they're absolutely telling people. So what is the difference?
Starting point is 00:16:13 That's what I mean. Now I'm only fucking straight guys. They're not going to tell anybody. They're not going to talk about it. It's hearsay rather than photographic evidence that's not admissible in court. Are you taking it to court? Well, but I mean,
Starting point is 00:16:24 if we're talking about real tangible things in the world like they have they distributed photographs of my genitalia yeah or they just lied you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:16:31 like one thing is like oh yeah it's John he's drunk we don't believe him no they all lie no I know that's what I'm saying but photos don't lie
Starting point is 00:16:38 they're lying gay guys on the internet are lying when it comes to sex they're lying they're fabricating they're creating fantasies they're John Grisham.
Starting point is 00:16:48 It's the Pelican Brief. It's the firm. It's Tom Cruise and the firm. Men are liars. Men are liars. Gay men are liars. Stop lying about sex challenge. Let's stop lying about sex challenge. Stop lying about sex. Stop lying about sex. Period.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And stop lying about your period. Get your period. Stop lying. And stop lying about sex. Stop lying about sex. And stop lying about your period. Get your period. Get your period. And stop lying about it. Yeah, that's the thing is. Stop lying about sex. Stop lying. Stop lying about your penis.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Stop lying about the sex. Stop lying about everything. Do you know what I mean? Stop it. Yeah, stop. Stop lying about your penis. They should put your fucking dick size On your fucking driver's license, bitch It should be verified by the government
Starting point is 00:17:29 When I had to get a passport I had to bring two forms of ID When you take your dick picture You should need two forms of ID It should be taken at the DMV You know what I think is hysterical? So I went on a date And I found out
Starting point is 00:17:44 That the person lied about their age. Two inches. Sorry, sorry, sorry. His two inch age. Height. That is stupid. I know. I'm obsessed.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Obsessed. Because I was like, I'm an inch shorter than that. The label being taller? Yeah. I'm an inch shorter than that. And I'm taller than you. So Mary, what is the truth?
Starting point is 00:18:09 Well, and ironically, you like short guys. I do. So he lied for no reason. Well, right. I mean, he's obviously not lying for me. He's lying for everybody else. Because everybody else, they're so It's fruitless. It's fruitless to lie. It is. Because guess what? At some point, you are going to have to show up. I know. You're going to have to show up. You're going to have that tiny penis. You're going to be that little shorty guess what? At some point, you are going to have to show up.
Starting point is 00:18:25 I know. You're going to have to show up. You're going to have that tiny penis. You're going to be that little shorty. And no one cares. Or you're going to be chubby. Yeah. Like, people do care, though.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Take a picture of your real weight, your real body hair, your real everything. Yeah. And that way, when it happens, you can go in with confidence. Because they've seen fire and rain. You know what I mean? They've read. I don't know what I mean they've read I don't know that this is true though I mean
Starting point is 00:18:47 it's like you're a person who's you're six foot with an above average wiener right so like it's very easy for you to just flap your gums like that
Starting point is 00:18:54 it's not like everything else for me is great literally nothing yeah that's what I'm saying a bald cross dresser no no no no but okay no
Starting point is 00:19:01 I'm looking at the pros of you and I'm saying okay tall large penis rich that's enough you could just be you could have gangrenous sores on half of your face and no leg and you would be that's that's the catch so like i i i was just thinking today because i was so self-conscious about sometimes because i when i go to hook up with mostly bottoms right like 100% bottom I am pretty much only top but my dick isn't huge it's medium to above average well it's not huge I'll
Starting point is 00:19:32 tell you this so not every bottom cares about a giant dick I think a lot of them do I don't think they really do I hope they don't I don't think they do so like I hope they don't. I don't think they do. It's so, like, it's very disheartening. Do you care about every bottom having a huge butt? That's different, though. You think? Well, because it's the size of the butt itself, not the hole. But I'm talking about the hole. When I go to a fucking hole And I don't even hit the sides
Starting point is 00:20:06 I feel like It's bad when he asks Is it in? It's really bad when you ask Is it in? Damn bitch Is it in? You tell me Sometimes No I don't think they care
Starting point is 00:20:21 Because you also don't want Fear factor dick. Every bottom experience doesn't have to be the bone collector. It doesn't have to be. The Goodyear blimp. Girl, it doesn't have to be survivor. It doesn't have to be lost. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Lost? Yeah. Is that the show with the island? I think that's not what I meant. But I said lost. I've never seen it. The leftovers. I mean.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Nine Perfect Strangers. You know what I mean, but I said lost. I've never seen it. The leftovers. I mean, I. Nine perfect strangers. You know what I mean, though? You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, oh, my God. Especially also, like, especially if a person is 100% bottom. And I mean, I'm getting long in the tooth here. At 40, let's face it, all of our friends in their early 30s, late 20s back in LA. Fisting champions.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Oh, are you kidding me? Pussy, blown out cow pussies. Blown the fuck out. The upside down. Trevors.ussies blown the fuck out the upside down girl trevor is the upside down it's the upside down it is it's the upside down it truly is and so i i get self-conscious i'm like well what do i bring to the table there like i have like thankfully i do not have a small dick and then that got me thinking about that. I was like, but even people with small dicks, there are people there who don't care.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I don't care if someone has a small dick. Mary, I don't either because there's so much, I guess I'm answering my own question. There's so many other things to do. But when you're, when you're approaching, like I think in the beginning of like,
Starting point is 00:21:41 if you're thinking about being in a relationship or thinking about you like somebody, you're all that stuff is in the front of your mind. Like, what would I bring to the table? And all those things get like magnified in the beginning. You know what I'm saying? Well, I think. Sexually anyways, if you're thinking about sexual compatibility.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yeah. And I think people in general are sort of attracted to their opposite or their exact same, right? So like in gay world, it's always like the chubby, muscly, hairy guys who want chubby, muscly, hairy guys who want chubby, muscly, hairy guys. Or the opposite. Chubby, muscly, hairy guys want tiny, scrawny, hairless young guys. At least in gay world, it always feels
Starting point is 00:22:11 like it's the game of exact copies or exact opposites. I don't know. What's your exact opposite? I don't do types, though. I'm really not. I'm not anyone's type either. The problem is when you're bald,
Starting point is 00:22:27 and you're not necessarily ripped, or necessarily young, or not really anything, you're just existing. Half the time I can't tell if I'm Curious George or the man in the yellow jacket. Girl, I can't even tell. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:43 I really don't know. Indian drag? Girl, Miss can't even tell. I don't know. I really don't know. It didn't drag? Girl, Miss Nelson is missing. Miss Nelson is missing, honey. Fuck. Viola Swamp, bitch. Viola Swamp. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Well, the problem with the online thing, too, is... We gotta go, mom. We gotta go. Are they waiting for us? Yeah, we gotta go. Yeah, we can go. We'll be back. We're going to do meet and greet.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Psst. Hey. for us yeah we gotta go yeah we can go well we have we'll be back we're going to do meet and greet hey i have a secret uh-huh i use secret whole body deodorant because more than just my armpits stink can i use it with my bra rubs under my oh yeah and what about down there you know my totally four out of five gynecologists would recommend it. So I tried it and now I get 72 hours of freshness from my pits to my... Ooh, I love that it's a spray. Me too. And it comes in sticks and creams too. Go get your secret whole body deodorant. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome? Who knew you could give yourself the
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Starting point is 00:24:10 This episode is brought to you by Mazda. When you drive a Mazda, you'll find out why RSUVs won more 2024 IIHS Top Safety Picks than any other brand as of June 2024. Find out what makes Mazdada different at mazda.ca we're back from meet and greet yeah a lot of hotties up hot teas and i you know what i it's a con you know what it is it's a conundrum water water everywhere uh-huh lots of people who know what we do for a living and like us. But that doesn't lead to people you want to fuck you wanting to fuck you.
Starting point is 00:24:51 These are two different Venn diagrams. Well, I think it comes down to that pig in a wig who makes me giggle will not make my little weenie waddle wiggle. Yeah, exactly. will not make my little weenie waddle wiggle. Yeah, exactly. She's not going to make my little dingy wig wiggle. Yeah. Because she makes me giggle that thing.
Starting point is 00:25:13 The best is when you hit on them and they're like, well, talk to me later. And you go, I'm not joking. Don't play games. I passive aggressively, my tone is hardened from years of rejection and ghosting where I'm like, like, I'm not joking, bitch. No.
Starting point is 00:25:30 And like, you know, like don't say shit. Don't you don't. We're not going to say who said it, but there's this famous drag queen who said to a driver in the mirror. Yeah. Don't look at me unless you're going to fuck me. Which honestly is tea. It's tea. It's really tea.
Starting point is 00:25:43 I wouldn't look that far though. I would say, don't say you're going to fuck me unless you're prepared to follow through on that. We're on a deal, mama. It's a red light special. Don't sign a check that your ass cannot cash. Your ass literally. If you're going to look in my direction, you better have dushed. You better have dushed, bitch.
Starting point is 00:26:03 I don't even need that. I will fuck your shitty ass. I will fuck your shitty ass. I will fuck your shitty... In the shower. We can... I'm not into scat. I'm not into scat. Well...
Starting point is 00:26:12 I'm not into scat. But things happen. Things happen. But you shouldn't be... You know. You should be diligent and hygienic. But girl, I don't need you to be all that. Because we're going to go have a lovely time in the shower in the tub.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Well, what happens if sodomy becomes illegal because well the government's gonna come into my house enter my boudoir check under my negligee to count the loads in my ass and it's gonna be zero zero mary no nobody's sodomizing this pussy but will stray people be arrested for sodomy too because straight people let's have that conversation okay we're all doing anal okay straight people are all doing anal i have a question to ask you so uh latasha leggero's podcast there was a little clip that came up and somebody called in and so i have a compliment i have a question for you the guy called a guy called in about his girlfriend and said i'm having a problem my girlfriend i are in love but maybe many years and then,
Starting point is 00:27:05 but together many years, but she won't do my ultimate sexual fantasy, which is for me to come in her mouth. What do you make of that? She won't let him come in her mouth. Correct. And it's his, it's his,
Starting point is 00:27:17 he decided he describes this as his number one sexual fantasy. What do you make of that? Every, well, let me just say that everybody should do what they're comfortable with, right? Yes. And that's it. Yes. So I was thinking. My first.
Starting point is 00:27:33 That's so fucking vanilla. I know. Well, you don't want cum in your mouth? I was going to say. I'll put cum on my fucking pad thai, bitch. I'll put cum on my hair, in my eyes, rub on my teeth. I was going say Unless she The only thing I didn't think
Starting point is 00:27:46 I was like oh Maybe she's got some like Past something going on You know what I mean Maybe there's like a But I was like My thing She doesn't love you bitch
Starting point is 00:27:53 If she If you won't If she won't let you Cum in her mouth Or he or she won't let you If you don't love you That was my read on it What do you think about that
Starting point is 00:28:01 Well I know there's a lot of people If she doesn't wanna do it she doesn't want to do it period and that's your ultimate fantasy that's what i'm saying i feel bad for you i feel bad too like if that's dream big dream bigger i was like do you know how many guys want to fuck you in the ass like that i would say no that's like you're gonna go to a car dealership and you're gonna steal the used prius you don't mean i don't know what I just said. I guess I mean like if you're going to do it dream bigger.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yes, totally. Your dream car should not be a Camry. Exactly. Right, right, right. If you're in a situation where that's your dream, your ultimate dream
Starting point is 00:28:36 would be that she he's not even asking for her to swallow. No. Or even say I love that. Which by the way if it comes in your, just swallow it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:47 It's more undignified and weird to spit it out. To either run to the bathroom or spit it on. Yeah. What? My thing is, I think if I'm. Eat that cum. Eat all that cum. Eat the cum.
Starting point is 00:29:04 I hate eat. Yeah, I hate eat. It's not eating or drinking. But the cum. I hate eat. Yeah, I hate eat. It's not eating or drinking. But she ate. But she ate. It's not eating or drinking, though. It's not food. The way none of them ate.
Starting point is 00:29:15 It's the way none of them ate. Girl, let them eat. Let them eat cake. Let the girls eat it. Eat the cum. If the cum is in your mouth, it's more undignified or whatever to like get up and spit. Yeah, be like,
Starting point is 00:29:27 ooh, gross. Yeah. Don't let it in your mouth in the first place. I think it's like, I think it's hot. Also, here's the thing. Once,
Starting point is 00:29:34 if that's your partner's ultimate fantasy, then they're done. Once the cum is in the mouth, cash is checked, the finish line is reached, game over. He doesn't want to continue
Starting point is 00:29:45 yeah because he just orgasmed it's over you just turn around and then you know what i mean don't you don't have to do the porn thing no you spit the load back out and like sometimes they spit it out and then like slip it back up again it's a lot of like it's yo-yo it's a lot of yeah because in porn you want to see the cum Yes To like Yeah It's you know But in real life Mama I don't really want to
Starting point is 00:30:09 Spit it out And like look at it Drop my name in the snow Snowballing We're not doing all that Nobody's snowballing Nobody's snowballing The only thing that's snowballing
Starting point is 00:30:16 The only thing that's snowballing Is the idea of snowballing Yeah yeah yeah yeah Because I remember I saw this porn With these two straight guys And they were snowballing And I was like If you're If you're I would say So many of these guys Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I remember I saw this porn with these two straight guys. And they were snowballing.
Starting point is 00:30:31 And I was like, if you're – I would say so many of these guys want to, like, fuck you in the butt. And if you don't want to get fucked in the butt, getting fucked in the butt is horrible. You know, it's different than a little cum in the mouth. Well, it can be your angle or it can be your double. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this can be your, like, anal backdoor slut seven or Shawshank Redemption. Also, if you want to do something that your girlfriend doesn't want to do, bitch, move the fuck on. Move on.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Move on. Just fuck. Because honestly, finding somebody- Get over it. It doesn't make you shallow to want to be with somebody you're sexually compatible with. It's the only part that makes you. Oh, no. I was just saying deal with it the other way.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Just don't do it. Oh, you mean move on from the idea? Yeah. Oh, no. I'm saying. Oh, you're just fine. That's sort of maybe a flag that this relationship is not going to be long term sexually fulfilling, which could really be an issue.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I would say that, too. I know that's really simplistic and probably doesn't give The girl the benefit of the doubt Well it depends Well it can go both ways If she's not getting The sex she wants She can also be like Well that's really important to me
Starting point is 00:31:31 Yeah Because to some people Sex maybe is not important to me Right To me My sex has always been Good in relationships Yeah
Starting point is 00:31:38 Probably because It's important to me Yeah And I'm not I'm not even going on That third or fourth date Unless it's good You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:31:43 Right This isn't pity This isn't pity You know what I mean? Right. This isn't pity. This isn't pity. And how do you feel about this though? Because like, so I, if you went out, if you went out on a grinder date with someone and you guys had sex and you didn't come,
Starting point is 00:31:56 would you think of that as a failure? No, no, not at all. Okay. So we didn't come. Yeah. Say you got fucked Like twice
Starting point is 00:32:06 And then Neither of you came You just It just kind of like I don't What What I don't
Starting point is 00:32:14 I don't relate to not coming And that Okay So I don't know about that Okay Would you consider that a failure If it's like Let's say
Starting point is 00:32:22 I was Was that There was a guy I dated Would that be Flaptina? Would it be Flaptina? No. Okay. There was a guy I dated where the first date, making out, jerking off, he comes and then we were drinking. And if drinking is part of it, maybe you just like diffuse and go home, whatever.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Somebody came. Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't see a world where you like engage in anal intercourse and no one comes. I don't see a world where you like engage in anal intercourse and no one comes. I don't know where that, who, by the time the anal is happening, I'm like ready. Like by the time we're doing that and everything that leads up to that, I'm probably pretty close to being done. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:59 By the time we're having sex, sex, sex, I'm like, you got about 10 minutes. You know what I mean? Yeah. We're good. It's a wrap minutes you know what i mean yeah we're good it's a wrap you know what i mean yeah i will say i've been with guys we're like their dream of topping is like marathon sex and even though i'm a bottom bottom bottom yeah you have about t minus nine seconds you know what i mean i'm doing like the apollo 13 countdown 10 9 8 exactly I'm like I got stuff to do I got emails
Starting point is 00:33:27 I gotta get on slack I have a zoom do you have something a different experience do you think it's a failure if no one comes so I I don't consider
Starting point is 00:33:38 A I don't consider any sexual experience to be a failure it was a trick question kind of sort of like I don't I would never walk away from a sexual experience thinking, like, bop or flop.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Do you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't, I would say, like, bop or flop. Like, if, do you know, like. Is bop good? Yes! Oh, I thought, like, you bop him because you don't like it. No, no. No.
Starting point is 00:33:59 You know, like, as I'm leaving, I'm like, bop or flop. Like, you know, I kind of resist that, like. Have you ever been in a hookup where the vibe isn't right and you make out and then stop and someone goes home? Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Even then, it's not a failure. No, it's information.
Starting point is 00:34:12 You applied the brakes. Yeah. Information. Yeah. Yeah. Graceful, like, navigation of a social interaction. I would say that's the hardest thing about sex, like, in my 20s, early 20s, in college. Going along with it when you don't want to.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Have you done that? Marry all the time. I describe it as being too white to say no. Yes. Yes. Where I'm just like, yes. Well, I'm already here. Yeah. early 20s in college going along with it when you don't want to have you done that Mary all the time I describe it as being too white to say no yes where I'm just like yes
Starting point is 00:34:28 well I'm already here yeah I hate it I hate it I'm not hard I'm gonna let him fuck me I mean it's just when you're young you don't have the confidence
Starting point is 00:34:36 to say like hey it's just not a good fit yeah or just like hey stop and then just kind of hey I'm just gonna take a break and then you know actually I'm just gonna go home
Starting point is 00:34:44 well that's when it's good to have something to pivot with. You know what I mean? I like to sort of go, Hey, I have to ask, have you heard the good news? You know,
Starting point is 00:34:50 like, and I'll sort of go into religious. Yeah. Have you heard the good news? Have you heard the good news? Do you think Bush did 9-11? I couldn't help but wonder. Have you heard the good news?
Starting point is 00:35:07 You pull out your unabridged Bible. I'm excited that we're here together because I brought this cassette tape of Ojibwe rain dances, and I thought we could listen to it together. Put it on. Put it on. I also brought some Cheeto Puffs. I've been meaning to read Moby Dick out loud non-stop from beginning to end
Starting point is 00:35:27 okay wait wait I've turned the corner on the word faggot me too where like I like it and I've always been like fine with gay people saying it
Starting point is 00:35:35 at this point I get a thrill out of straight people who hate gay people saying it yeah I'm like say it you hate me don't you you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:35:43 yes I do it's like you're showing your ass by using it I'm like use the word do it you hate me don't you you know what i mean it's like it's like you're showing your ass by using i'm like use the word i know do it show me how fucking stupid you are how much you hate me show me how stupid you are how stupid you are stupid literally stupid yeah and um i was i was when i was on z-way i was like wait she said something like i was like um oh she asked it was like a baiting question was like when you say that like somebody was like i think it was like ashley tisdale was like a clip of her It was like, when you say that, like somebody was like, I think it was like Ashley Tisdale was like a clip of her.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Someone was like, when you say the word queer, it's something, something, something. Hilary Duff. Hilary Duff. When you say the word gay, do you know what you're saying? Yes. I was like, I want to bring the word faggot back. A hundred percent. Because honestly, not to be political, but now we're in a world where people are viciously
Starting point is 00:36:22 anti-gay, but it's all coded. Oh yeah. if they just said faggot i'm running on the platform of i hate faggots just it's like when something is traditional family stuff yeah when something's like against gay marriage and it's called focus on the family focus on the family just say you hate faggots and i'm not even being funny i know i know you hate faggots we want to burn faggots um on in like on a pyre because i think what they're doing is they're getting away with doing some hateful shit yeah by not having to own up to it i'm like wear that fucking badge
Starting point is 00:36:55 yeah if you mean it yeah absolutely well it doesn't agree with the lifestyle and my belief yeah just say when you think of me fucking my boyfriend you throw up yeah just say it just fucking say i hate cornhole sucking faggots and i want them all to die because we have a lot in common yeah you're like when i think of you naked you're the man i want to throw up i'm like bitch me too bitch me too when i think of you cross-dressing i I want to retch. Yeah, bitch. Everyone. Grow up. Take a number. Girl, take a number. Get in line.
Starting point is 00:37:29 People in the meet and greet with my shirts on won't fuck me. Tell them what happened. Tell them what happened yesterday. I stood up three quarters of the way through a sold-out show
Starting point is 00:37:38 in Melbourne, Australia to address the 5,500 people in the audience. People who bought tickets starting from $50 all the way up to $300 the audience, people who bought tickets starting from $50 all the way up to $300 or more, people who waited three years to honor these tickets and comments. I said, please, will one of you fuck me?
Starting point is 00:37:53 And not one of them did. I wish. Oh, my God. It's so funny. I've also turned a corner on the United States. Oh. I'm not like one of those 2016, I'm moving to Canada people. I might be a 2022 moving to Canada person, though.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Mary, at this point, I'm like, let the... 21% of the country is Christian. And the only people who can make effective change... Are you serious? Yeah. The only people who can affect change are people who are so rich they don't care to do anything. Yeah. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:38:31 It's so hard to get like, when people are like, you need to stay mad and get involved. I'm like, we are Kate Bush running up that hill and that hill is only getting steeper. Yeah. We aren't winning anything. No. We're moving backwards. We're literally moving backwards. Literally uncovering. Separation of church and state has never been there,
Starting point is 00:38:51 but now it's just so belligerently not there. And no one cares. It has nothing to do with anything. It has nothing to do with the founding fathers. It has nothing to do with dusty ass constitutional whatever. Nothing. These people are are dumb these people these marjorie taylor greens and these ted cruz's and these all these people
Starting point is 00:39:11 they are fucking sick fucking psychophants and they don't they don't know they don't read the bible they don't read the constitution they know nothing about it coney barrett amy coney barrett oh the justice yeah like fucking she'll be there for the rest of our lives. Yeah. Voting against our rights forever. Yeah. Forever. Yeah. Forever. Ever, ever, ever, ever.
Starting point is 00:39:29 That Supreme Court is a flop court. I know. It feels like we don't talk about politics on this podcast because we're preaching to the choir, right? Yeah. If you listen to this, if you're watching this, you're either conservative and jerking off. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Hi. Or you agree with us. Yeah. Yeah. Or you have more sophisticated Points of view than we do Right Which we're just stupid But
Starting point is 00:39:47 At a certain point It's like I just want healthcare But I just want to be like I just want to go to the doctor Like I was like
Starting point is 00:39:54 When I have like a major health issue And it takes me Like with Fierce health insurance For to go I have to wait a month To get an appointment With a specialist
Starting point is 00:40:04 And then I come to Australia And i wait about six hours we have health care we have to pay a lot of money any doctors you and i have the money to get any surgical procedure that exists i could have my head replaced actually not a bad idea and every time when we go to we go to the same doctor every time i go to our medical facility i'm'm like, God, what do people do? I don't know. They don't. They avoid it. I mean, when I was 22 or whatever, I went from college, going to my college doctor, to doing drag race and being able to afford a doctor.
Starting point is 00:40:35 There was only a few years there in the middle where I just, if I was sick, I don't know what I did. I didn't go to the doctor. I had no health insurance, nothing. It's not just the health insurance. It all comes down to the separation of church and state is so bogus because all the rich white people are Christian or pretend to be Christian everything is about that
Starting point is 00:40:53 everything is about the bible and hating gay people yes and I also I cannot at least in a way I almost respect them for having a clear but crazy point of view. Rather than these do-nothing Democrats. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Nothing. Word salad. You've got to hear that clip of Kamala talking about, we will work together. It was like, what are you talking about? Shut up. Just word salad, word salad, word salad. Here's the thing. I see there's two sides of it, right?
Starting point is 00:41:23 Because the moment some crisis happens, like Roe v. Wade being overturned, the moment it happens, within an hour, as a major leader, you're supposed to have a statement. When in fact it takes more than an hour to formulate a real plan. That is very generous of you, but they're also just flops.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Sleepy Joe? Flop Tina. Flop Tina. That's the problem, that's the problem. It's just- Flop Tina. And then when we have a candidate that I really liked, like Bernie. I remember seeing the picture of Bernie, like, Flop Tina. Flop Tina. That's the problem. It's just- Flop Tina. And then when we have a candidate that I really liked, like Bernie. I remember seeing the picture of Bernie, like the black and white being arrested for like
Starting point is 00:41:51 protesting and then I'm like, work bitch. And I'm like, but I know the world is horrible. I know that if there's certain candidates where because they know exactly what we need to do, they will never win. Because they're not rich enough, because they don't appeal to the, I mean, the only way you can really win anything is if you get the mass amounts of crazy Christians to go vote for you.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Republican party used to not even be Christian. When Reagan happened, they suddenly went, well, if we get all these fundamental Christian-y people to vote, we can get all these people who've never voted before to rush to the polls let's start including things christians care about it's so bogus imagine and not to be like uh hypothetical because i hate in politics when it's always hypotheticals if these were muslim religious ideals any other type of religious ideal than Christian nothing No, people would be like no no no
Starting point is 00:42:49 No, and also there's no I mean there's absolutely no It's it's so hypocritical. So it's so common for this gay marriage. They're fucking coming for a bitch and I'm not even somebody who's desperately wants to get married no but I just also don't want to get killed for being gay I mean it's like aren't we moving a little I want to be choked for being by the right people at the right time yeah by the right people not people on the right I get really scared when I'm like on an airplane googling what can I actually do I know what can I actually do how can I actually help I don't know I mean I don't think it's it's I don't think it's great to have like to be to be hopeless
Starting point is 00:43:29 obviously as just in general but um I was like I was thinking today I was like somebody was somebody somebody posted a really funny thing about like this thing when I think was tick-tock they're like are you preparing for the apocalypse she's like honey preparing we're in the middle of it you know and i was like okay yeah i was like oh i bet this is just you know hindsight if we even have the grace of that later on i think it's gonna go straight into class warfare in a civil war i kind of do i mean what are all these people hoarding guns for i don't know because they're gonna kill everybody well that's the problem is conservatives are so-
Starting point is 00:44:07 Why do they want their guns so bad? Because they hate half of the country. Well, and because they- That's what's funny when people get really critical of drag queens for- When they treat us like we are ideals in any way. Or that we have an ideology, a uniform. Or that you and I are anything to aspire to or people you should listen to about your life. Right.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Half the country and half the country, we would be murdered for walking down the street like this. Yeah. And people forget that. Yeah. You and I might be like mainstream now or whatever, but like people still hate us just for doing this. Yeah, yeah. You and all your gay friends. It really seems like everyone likes us.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Oh, it's, it's nothing, nothing of the sort. Most people find what we do probably really gross and offensive. Like super disgusting and morally reprehensible and worthy of like, it must be a, like stamped out.
Starting point is 00:44:59 Yeah. Like a bug. Yes. Like a eradicated, like a, like a pesticide needs to be on it. Yes. Like, ooh, gross.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Like a cockroach. But what I really don't get, and this is like, what I really don't get is, whatever people do with religion, whatever religion, any of them, they don't, they do it, and like, I will vote for your right to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I want you to be able to do it. Sure. But then the flip side of the coin is.
Starting point is 00:45:23 But then the flip side of the coin is. But then the flip side of the coin is, the religious't take your magic book and put it on my life. The flip side of the coin is the religious people don't want us to do whatever we want. No. They don't want us to not be religious even. And not only that, they want us to adhere to the rules of their fairy tale book, their mythology. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Ron Hubbard. Mary. Mary. The Garden of Good and Evil. Snakes and Apples. God's Coming Out of Zeus's Thigh. Xenu. Xenu.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Warrior Princess. It's all mythology. Not literal. It's all mythology for lessons. And I was like, so what? Oh, my God. Mama, the Catholic Church has so much explaining to do. There's so much wrong.
Starting point is 00:46:01 And I just don't even know where to begin. I'm just like. I don't either. But so now I'm literally thinking about it. I'm just talking about quality of life and I really don't like that kind of like, oh, now that I have the means to abscond, escape and be a – or not a refugee. What do you call that? An expat. Like now that – because that's very bougie, of course.
Starting point is 00:46:20 It's like people who are like – well, the rich can still get abortions however they need. They can take a private jet somewhere to a country they get an abortion well any i mean america that is america man like that is america it is just money nothing else there's nothing else besides money even that fucker that piece of shit joel austin and in uh houston the mega preacher it's all it's all of them. Are you kidding me? Oh, I mean, all of them. Jan Crouch used to fly her dogs private. Her dogs. It's just...
Starting point is 00:46:50 You and I flew coach the other day. Yeah. We're dogs. And we're dogs. We're Pomeranians. God, it's so... I don't mean to be so defeatist, but the problems...
Starting point is 00:47:01 I was thinking while I was putting makeup on today, I was thinking, when I was younger Was it this bad Like I just remember Watching the news And hearing about like Jizz on a miniskirt
Starting point is 00:47:08 You know what I mean That's all I heard about But it's the stuff we don't see It's the stuff that's always been there But was I just too young to understand Was I too young to understand The problem is Everybody's like
Starting point is 00:47:16 Well you need to vote And it's like Go vote for who for what That's what I'm saying It's like The problem is The conservatives Will get people to vote Based on religious things And religious people Get very fired up Yes And the problem is the conservatives will get people to vote based on religious things and religious people get very fired up.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Yes. And the problem is Democrats won't vote unless it's the perfect candidate for them. Right. And the other problem is the left wants this and the right wants this. And all we do is watch things get overturned, changed back and forth. Prop eight. You know, we don't see a lot of compromising. We don't see a lot of Iising we don't see a lot of
Starting point is 00:47:50 i want this and you want this what's the middle it's just a lot of fight until you get this and then wait until that justice dies and somebody else comes in and then it can be flipped it's just a lot of i mean this new supreme court like we're going to deal with this forever anything conservative will get passed in our lifetime america's really we that's what it's the longer you look at it the more you're like disgusting yeah it's a really bad shit it started bad and it's gonna end bad it's a little like i mean it's not like renovating but you pull up the carpet and you're like hardwood and then you're like oh there's termites oh yeah you know what i mean human slaves yes it's worse and worse it's like oh and there's an electrical issue and there's asbestos yeah yeah and all of these together have made this house unlivable and there's a poltergeist it's not electricity it's just evil gas yeah and i don't know i guess we're
Starting point is 00:48:35 just you know we're just entertainers and our job is we don't ever talk about politics and we shouldn't we're not going to continue yeah yeah because we're also stupid i mean stupid and we just trying to make people laugh but oh fuck i mean the day we were in we weren't even in america when roe v way was overturned and it's just like i was like well what can i do we're over here and i'm like what could i do if i was there yeah fucking nothing go walk in the street not that not that protesting isn't important no but i mean what else can i do it It's certainly better than Planned Parenthood having the gall to like ask for donations I was like my Mary what you been doing? What you been doing about this? Like what have you been does a ghoulish? What have you been doing to prevent this?
Starting point is 00:49:17 Well, that's the problem is I mean I was like I don't think it was meant to last the Roe v Wade thing was not meant to last this long period. I mean and then we'll be like, well, people should be able to judge, decide this on a state level. I'm like, you want people in the Bible belt to be able to tell these like, it's just so cool. Do you think people won't get abortion? No, no.
Starting point is 00:49:39 See, it's- Do you think people won't get pregnant? It's not, it's the thing about it is like, this guy was like, don't really try to shift the conversation. It's not banning abortions. It's criminalizing them because abortions will continue. They will just be illegal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:54 And so dangerous. People will be arrested. There'll be, and then people are going to die. So that's all it is. You're just making something illegal and it will continue to happen. It will be unsafe and dangerous and deadly.
Starting point is 00:50:07 In the courts, when they talk about things, when people mention their faith, their beliefs, anything, it should be objection. Like, that should not even be talked about. It should not even be talked about. No, it's immaterial. It doesn't. It makes no sense. My golden horse, my golden goose, my 17 wives in heaven. Girl, fuck off.
Starting point is 00:50:27 What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Are you talking about my three pussies? Well, now you got me. Now I'm interested. The court will allow it to you. When I hear them talk about their faith or anything, I'm like, you need to stop. Bullshit, too. Bullshit too.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Bullshit. It's all buzzwords. Why does the president have to be at least 35? And there's an unwritten rule that the president has to be pretty much a practicing or fake practicing Christian. Oh, a hundred percent. I mean, even I bet even for even for atheists and non-practice, like I bet they would be like something about that is not really like. Yeah, I don't want I don't want one second of the president's attention to go towards something that doesn't exist. I'm nervous.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Thank you. That doesn't exist. Live in the reality. There is nothing up there besides atmosphere, you fucking whores. But even if. Get a grip. But even if there is, even if God turned out to be real tomorrow, I don't think that the change the way people – I don't – sorry, the GoPro.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Oh. I don't think that the change – Mama, we heard you. I don't think it should change the way people make laws. No. No. Because – We're making laws for us.
Starting point is 00:51:37 All of these people live as if their religion is 100% real anyway. Yeah. Talk to any religious person. And they're like, oh, this is the one. Yeah. Oh, Mama, that's cute, but this is gorgeous right right so it's just so crazy to me that it continues to be adult educated traveled cultured people still fucking around and not just fucking around with it trying to impose it on other people that's like like it's anything to do with truth. Wake the fuck up, bitch.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Wake the fuck up. Well, here's the thing. Be religious if you want. Whatever. I'm not being critical of people being religious. I am. I am. Because y'all are, I mean, listen. But good for them.
Starting point is 00:52:14 Oh, sure. Good for people who knit. Before you go to bed, if you want to kneel next to your bed and pray. Absolutely. If you want to go to church on Christmas, good for you. If you want to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy. That has nothing to do with it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:23 If you want to put on a little latex pussy pants. If you want to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy. That has nothing to do with it. Yeah. If you want to put on a little latex pussy pants. If you want to play Clue or whatever. But the urge of like sitting alone in a room Christian and you notice some people who aren't Christian and you're like, oh, they're not Christian. Oh my God. What are we going to do? I'm going to tell them the good news. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:38 They're not praying before their meal. Like what is the urgency? Yeah. Worry about your, eat your food. Eat your food, bitch. Eat your food. Brush your hair, bitch. Brush your fucking your food eat your food eat your brush your hair brush your fucking hair it's just so crazy it's so crazy and honestly i feel like as drag queens
Starting point is 00:52:52 a lot of times i feel that i'm because i'm not very politically vocal i actually feel like well i know how the world works the last thing anybody right wing needs to see is a drag queen like me screaming about my beliefs because i'm already their picture of like what the future liberals want yeah you know what i mean yeah it's almost like at pride sometimes i'm like the person leading the parade should be a boring librarian who's gay because not all of us are vibrant openly sexual yeah with clits pierced and like yeah most gay people are just watching netflix They're boring. Yeah. They're boring. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:30 And it's hard with the religious people because there's a lot of religious people who believe in abortion, believe in like want gay people to have marriage. They exist. Reasonable people. But the loudest and craziest among them get all the airtime. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're unhinged. And the gaggy part is these super conservative religious politicians,
Starting point is 00:53:46 they're not. They just want the votes of those who are. And guess what? They just want money. They're not. They just want money and power. They're not.
Starting point is 00:53:54 No. Oh, girl, they're fucking trans hookers in the shadows. Yeah. They're fucking doing shooting Tina with whores. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:54:03 They're shooting Tina with hookers. And to clarify, they shot Tina with aores. You know what I mean? They're shooting Tina with hookers. And to clarify, they shot Tina with a gun. I mean, this is a CPAC convention. They are shooting meth with whores. If you went there in drag on a grinder at a conservative... Mama.
Starting point is 00:54:17 If you want to get fucked, that's what you should be. 40 plus hours a week, honey. Over time. And 40 plus age. It's exhausting. Yeah, I don't mean to be defeatist, but I just really, I truly was on the plane. They're Googling. What can I actually do about this? What can I actually do?
Starting point is 00:54:33 Because I don't want to do nothing because it's stupid. And I think I spent too much of my early 20s not being more involved than I was. Well, I know it can happen get is to do action in the neighborhood right because things like i mean literally in the block you live yes like in the block you live like find out who is like what's going on in the action because that's how anything substance like anything um that's going to catch and anything locally um i know what you're saying anything actually you can tell something's different. Yes, you can.
Starting point is 00:55:06 This is and then it's like because other communities can then apply that. You can go through all the grunt work and then the streamlined version can be available to other communities. Yes. Next door. Like, hey, actually, we did all that crap. We trial and error, trial and error. This is what worked for us. Boom.
Starting point is 00:55:19 And then all of a sudden it's it's like county wide. Oh, and it's statewide. So, like, I think that makes more sense too because also like little like personal stuff is like you know those those horrible adages like oh change starts within or whatever like you uh you know like maybe it's on a poster a treatment facility of some sort you know but you know being nice is also something you can do well now i'm gonna stop you right there because that's not something i believe in not my religion is being mean so
Starting point is 00:55:52 it's being a huge bitch all right can we call it here we gotta go get picked up for the show i guess i'm so tired i know i don't want to this is hard touring is so hard it's really this has been so many tour dates this year, back to back with Queen of the Universe and Trixie Motel and everything. Well, let's just put a name to the elephant inside the room, which is workaholism. It's taken me to a place of, what am I doing? What are you doing? What am I doing?
Starting point is 00:56:20 Mama, look at me. I'm a lizard just baking in the sun. But would I say That you're doing well You know what I mean I'm not gonna look at you And be like Well there's what I should be doing
Starting point is 00:56:31 Totally She's doing great She's so happy She's engaged She loves her community She has so many close friends She makes You know
Starting point is 00:56:40 She has an incredible Five year plan You don't have A five minute plan Five minute Five minute yeah Alright Well Let's do a show Aren't they cute she has an incredible five year plan you don't have a five minute plan five minute five minute yeah alright well
Starting point is 00:56:47 let's do a show aren't they cute Marcella got them for me so pretty well listen I guess just
Starting point is 00:56:54 I can't recommend anything other than you know what will heal the world watching Trixie Motel on Discovery Plus I will say renovation I know we have to go change but let's be honest i'm on discovery tlc
Starting point is 00:57:08 like at that world hgtv it's mostly probably conservative viewership sure and renovation is probably the last heterosexual frontier of television think about it renovation is about a man and a woman yep children we're expanding our family yeah're moving the great American dream it's about family family family family family home ownership and so doing renovation and not having to be about kids family
Starting point is 00:57:30 being straight just about being fabulous it's just about being gorgeous being fabulous and making money yeah and she
Starting point is 00:57:37 and she should say it and she should say it let's have that conversation let's have that conversation I would say it's always it's funny to watch you in the trailer the clips where you're like you're like you're just like dying over a hot
Starting point is 00:57:48 pink bathtub it's fantastic i couldn't handle that i was like is she upset i almost cried i was like is she hate it she love it i almost cried i almost cried the pink bath i thought i thought i was gonna cry i was like she's not a good actor I was like that's real no but what I excel at is reacting how I really feel people in the universe they're like are you really I'm like the people are singing no choice
Starting point is 00:58:14 I just feel what I feel I didn't period this industry to stifle myself thank you deadass I'm horny and I'm allowed to be horny you know dead ass no literally i have a dead ass i have a dead ass oh did the camera die oh okay bye Bye.

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