The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Nobody's Snowballing in This Economy with Trixie and Katya
Episode Date: July 12, 2022In a world where one's public image is everything, we here at Bald, LLC would like to propose a different route: that of radical honesty. Have a small penis? Wear it like a tiny, proud badge. Hairy in... all the wrong places? Include that despicable rat's nest in your nude pic. What we're trying to say is stop trying to be something you aren't, and live your life as the disgusting, disfigured, and completely unlovable quasi-human-being that you've always known yourself to be. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out the Trixie and Katya Live Tour, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To pre-order your copy of our new book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Oh, yes.
Die to you in Melbourne.
Die to you.
Die to you in Melbourne.
Historic.
Historic. Historic.
Historic.
Do you want to tell the kids?
Hi there.
Is that even pointed on me?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's on both of us.
Do you see?
Well, I got my tussy.
I'm tussied out.
I put my whole robe of tussy into this performance tonight.
Girl, is it cold?
We got...
Chesty.
She's got a cough.
I'm fatigued.
I don't know what's going on.
We have a croup going around.
We got the... Well, Tom nearly died. Tom nearly died. Then Eden got sick. Now I'm sick. Now. I don't know what's going on. We have a group going around.
Well, Tom nearly died.
Tom nearly died.
Then Eden got sick.
Now I'm sick.
Now you're sick.
Yeah.
And I chose to get sick on the best day of the tour, which was 7 a.m., 6.30, wake-up call to a flight delayed and then do a show that night.
Travel day, show day, not great.
Travel day, show day, not great.
KMS.
Travel day, show day, not great.
KMS, bitch.
Yeah.
There's no way to complain about show business without sounding ungrateful.
Yeah.
But I could complain at a gig that pays $30 or $30 million.
I'll find something.
Yeah.
That is my X-Men power.
Take any wonderful situation and turn it into a horror movie.
There was a girl on American,
did you watch American Horror Story Cult?
No.
Okay.
Leslie Grossman.
Yeah.
The actress.
She plays a witch whose ability is,
she like rolls her eyes back and then tells you whether or not there's
gluten in something.
And then her power evolves to being able to say exactly how many calories
are in something.
Diet girl.
Yeah.
Diet girl.
That's so, that's so, that's so that's so that's so that's so gay i love it
she's like down about it because she has a shitty power yeah she does have a shitty power
she's a shitty power i can tell you if there was asbestos in this building
that's it'll be more useful well did you know that buildings can have asbestos as long as it's
sealed off okay but if you want to update the building at all, by law, you have to remove it.
Okay.
I learned that because the motel had asbestos and we had to pay to have it all removed.
And I was like, what do we care if they die?
Yeah.
They leave.
What's the lifetime experience that they'll have forever?
Or, you know, is the next six months?
It could become more of a end of flight.
Palliative care facility.
Yes.
The Trixie Motel Palli palliative care facility phasing them out
yeah sunset awaits their invitation to the sunset that sounds like a cult yeah i've been watching a
lot of documentaries a lot of documentaries you have you've been watching rachel wait wait i didn't
even get to the whole historic moment okay tell them okay so we performed i guess what you said
uh uh the most well the most pop i don't know what do you said, the most, well, the most pop, I don't know, what do you call it?
The most obese drag performers to ever step on stage in the same outfit.
Period.
That's what I heard.
Fetty on the tilly.
I am the biggest, the biggest drag queen.
The biggest, yeah.
You won an award, which was the biggest drag queen. The biggest. Yeah. You won an award, which was the biggest drag queen.
The biggest drag queen to make it up, make it out on stage and on her own two feet with
no supports and no runway reinforcement.
The audience slow clapped.
It was like Remember the Titans or something.
People were just slowly rising to their feet.
Yeah.
And then what was it?
About 75 minutes of continuously thunderous ovation.
Yeah. And what song was playing? It was minutes of continuously thunderous ovation. Yeah.
And what song was playing?
It was just the elevator music.
Was it Work That Pussy by Tiana Taylor?
It was just a Muzak version, a karaoke version.
My heart will go on.
It was Eye of the Tiger, but it was MIDI.
Oh, my God.
It was just piped in from the lobby.
Somebody left a door open,
but people were really,
there were tears.
Yeah.
Yeah.
On tour,
do you gain or lose weight?
I lose.
Yeah.
I lose weight.
It really depends for me.
I can be really good and come back snatched.
Oh,
I've never done that.
Or I can undo progress and come back.
Months and months of diligent progress.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
I'm coming back
Miss Big
These whores are not
Going to be able
To handle me
Physically
They won't be able
They won't be able
To wrap their arms
Around you
Well I told you
About my grand scheme
To gain three kilos
Oh no
Thirty
Oh you're trying
To gain thirty kilos
Yeah sixty five pounds
Holy shit
Cause then
Of muscle
I'll take anything
I'm not picky
But I'll go on drag race as the big girl.
If I go on drag race, I'm going to go on all stars.
Well, I mean, assuming they invite me.
I'm sure they would.
And then I'm going to go as a big girl, reinforce the runways and widen the door.
Whatever.
No.
Widen the doors and reinforce the runways.
Big girls come and win.
I'm going to snatch the crown.
Ambitious.
Focused.
Diligent.
So you're not just going to go through a physical transformation.
Also a complete personality change.
Yes. And I'm also, here's
my thing. I'm going to bring
Drag Race
back to its roots, okay?
Which was?
Would you like to share with the class?
Can't do spirit? Can't do spirit?
Can't do spirit
I have a can't do spirit
I can't do
I've never flown spirit knock on wood
I did it once and never again
It is a chicken cart with wings
With bird wings, dead bird wings taped to it
And they throw it in the air
I put a video on Twitter saying
spirit aligns, you better get spiritual because
that plane's going to fall out of the fucking sky.
And then somebody commented
don't fly spirit unless you want to become one.
Isn't that crazy?
It's true though.
They're just rickety and rotten.
Do we know that? Yes, I've been on spirit, bitch.
It's rickety, rotten, and horrible.
But wait, wait, wait. Back to me.
I'm going on Drag Race.
65 pounds heavier.
Big girl. Plus size, Diva.
I'm going to go and I'm going to be unapologetically fat.
Okay? No excuses.
No qualifications. No reservations.
What's the other version of that?
Apologetically fat.
Where you enter the room and you just go, sorry.
Well, you know, here's the thing about that.
Like, a lot of times, there's always, like, I think the viewer and the producers and people, the critics, are always looking for, like, well, yeah, you're fat, but you don't want to be fat, do you?
Mama, not me.
Oh, they want that?
No, but you know what I mean?
Like, people are so fat.
I'm not going to say fatphobic.
I just, like, hate fat people.
That, like, they're always looking for always looking for a, you must hate yourself.
You have to.
You have to hate yourself.
When people lose weight, it invites a congratulations.
Of course.
The discourse around being fat in this country or anywhere is really, really fascinating.
People are fat.
Let people be fat.
I mean, let them be fat and healthy.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fat people at the gym.
More fat people at the gym.
Be fat and go to the gym.
Well, fat people are everywhere.
So like, you know, whatever.
But it was, I thought it was,
somebody said this
and I thought it was very fascinating
that like the discourse around being fat
a lot of times is that the truth of it is that people hate fat people.
And that's the truth.
And it's like this whole like, what grinds me up is the patronizing language around like,
I just want, you know, we just want you to be healthy.
We just want, like, looking out for your you to be healthy. We just, you know,
we just want like
looking out for your health.
Girl, nobody's looking out
for anybody's health.
Certainly not in the United States.
It depends.
Have you ever met a doctor
who's looking out for your health
and not trying to get rich?
It depends.
If you have,
let's say you have
some preexisting conditions
and the doctor says
the best thing you could do
would take some weight off.
It would take stress off your heart.
It would take a stress
off your bad knees.
Like whatever.
Yeah.
But girl. Then you listen to the doctor. Yes, of course.
But like, people,
nobody's out there looking out for your health.
They want you to be thin and sexy.
That's all it is. Nobody
cares about, like, just let people be big or
whatever. Who cares?
I think it goes both ways. No, it does.
It does. Because a lot of, like,
later in life, incurable things come from decades of poor habits attached
to being big.
But see, when I miss big, when Miss Big goes through the runway like that, all that conversation
is going to melt away.
They're going to be like, she's huge and sexy.
I have a huge boner.
Yeah, yeah.
Look at it.
Look, my boner's even bigger now because there's all that.
And it better get bigger because she needs something big.
You know?
She needs Mr. Big.
Yes.
I think people might criticize me for fetishizing being fat, which of course is exactly what
I'm doing.
However, you know.
This happens to me where my boyfriend's chubby and people will be like, oh.
Chubby chaser.
That's your, I'm like, my boy, this man that I fuck happens to be chubby and people will be like, oh, chubby chaser. That's I'm like my boy.
This man that I fuck has to be chubby.
That is not a precursor saying that every man I fuck is chubby.
Yeah.
Does that happen to straight people?
I'm sure.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Guys get criticized all the time for liking big girls.
But if a girl dates a big wait, if a guy dates a big girl, people are like, oh, he likes big girls.
But if a girl dates a big guy, no one cares.
No one cares because that's the king of queens.
It's the king of queens.
That's the king of queens.
What's his name?
Joe Pesci.
Joe Pesci.
Was it Joe Pesci?
No.
Kevin James.
Kevin James.
Kevin James.
Big, big, great, big fatty.
And Leah.
Leah Remini.
Gorgeous, lovely gal.
You know, that whole yarn, that whole sitcom model.
I would fuck Kevin James.
You would? I would have when I was younger, yes sitcom model. I would fuck Kevin James. You would?
I would have when I was younger, yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Paul Blart.
Who is that?
Paul Blart Mallcott.
That last name is horrible.
Paul Blart?
That was the point.
You want him as Blart?
It's big in Mr. Blart.
One of the documentaries I recently watched that I turned.
I think that's how they came up with it.
I turned it off.
It was a palliative care documentary about phasing out end of life care.
And I couldn't watch it.
Why'd you turn it off?
I could.
Well, did I watch it?
No, I watched the preview.
And I moved on.
You did.
I moved on to something more uplifting like the John Wayne Gacy tapes.
Or the Rachel Dolezal documentary.
The Rachel Divide.
I watched the Rachel Divide.
I've been doing a lot of Netflixing.
Yeah, yeah.
Netflixing has a lot
of nonfiction content.
Yeah, no shit, Mary.
That's what they're known for.
Oh, no, that's not true.
They're just known
for having lots of trash.
I watched Bad Vegan.
Oh, is that the scam?
What was all that?
Give us a recap.
Give us a recap.
By the way,
we still haven't gotten to the thing we were trying to talk about at the beginning. Oh, tell them the scam? What was all that? Give us a recap. Give us a recap. It was just... By the way, we still haven't gotten to the thing
where we were trying to talk about in the beginning.
Oh, tell them the historical moment.
And we only found this out from Karen from Finance.
Yeah.
She could be a liar.
She could be a bald-faced liar.
We did the biggest drag show in Australia.
Yeah, this venue is 5,600 seats,
and they said it was the biggest, like,
seated-in-one-event drag show here ever.
Yeah.
Maybe that's true. I don't know. I don't know, because Sydney Mardi Gras is enormous yeah maybe that's true i don't know i don't
know because sydney mardi gras is enormous and that's the gay mardi gras do you know what i mean
but it's seated theater maybe since this is a seated theater show oh maybe okay you know maybe
that's what she meant well we sold 11 000 tickets that's fucking crazy crazy between today and
tomorrow 11 000 yeah that's great it's awesome. I know. And I still can't get fucked.
11,000 people who come.
Somebody on Grindr reached out to me and said, Katya had that break on stage.
Did she get everything sorted?
And I said, I don't know.
She surely didn't.
But you were in here at midnight.
And I was like, I guess she didn't then.
No, surely not.
No.
I was up coughing until 4 a.m.
Anyways.
I'm only fucking straight guys now.
What?
Because they don't know who I am and they're not going to tell anybody that they slept with me.
Oh, that's a good point.
Gay guys used to tell me on the grind or whatever.
They used to be like, oh, love your work, whatever.
Now they hide it.
They say nothing.
And it's a very weird thing.
Yeah. They go, what are you's a very weird thing. Yeah.
They go, what are you doing in town? What do you do for a living? And I go, you know,
I went to your Instagram. You follow me. You know what I do.
Crocheted Trixie blanket on your body right now. So now you're forcing me to do this improv. We're doing Groundlings. We're doing like
Second City. What are you doing? Okay. Give me a suggestion. Give me a suggestion. We're at like Second City. What are you doing? Okay,
give me a suggestion. Give me a suggestion.
We're at a shopping mall. Okay, great.
No,
but here's the thing that I'm not
super comfortable with. Oh, my vagina's been out
how long? Oh, no.
Oh, gross.
Maybe that's why I know.
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The other day in Hobart, this guy wanted dick pics and I wouldn't send him one
because I was not at the hotel at the moment.
I don't have any dick pics on my phone. So I didn't't send him he said um and he got snippy with me like well are you talking
me on a phone does your phone have a camera i was like damn i was like okay work he works at the
apple store i was like and i was like okay i guess i'll take one when i get back to the hotel i tried
to take i mean i did take some and i have to hide them because i had given eden my phone to take, I mean, I did take some, and then I had to hide them because I had given Eden my phone to take some pictures
and it comes right up.
Girl, she gets what she gets.
No, absolutely fucking.
She's using it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
My 24-year-old female assistant
does not need to see my penis.
There's a, we have boundaries, Mary, boundaries.
I'm saying she's going through your phone for a work thing.
If she sees a nude, it's not going to derail her life.
It will derail my life.
I don't want, we have great, wonderful boundaries and we have wonderful relationship.
I'm not doing that.
She picks up your wet panties.
I know.
She doesn't know you have sex.
No, I know.
But you're not her daughter.
Isn't that enough humiliation?
Isn't that enough humiliation?
Would it be like if your mom found your porn or something?
Would it be shame?
It's like, she knows what it smells like.
She doesn't need to know what it looks like.
You know what I mean?
Like gross, gross, gross.
She doesn't, she has a cast iron stomach, but it's the indignity of it yeah it's
the indignity of it yeah anyways so um and i was just like i don't want to send him my dick pic he
didn't know who i was he didn't follow me on instagram or anything like that but i guess is
this stupid is it like naive or selfish or egotistical for me to be self-conscious about
the possibility of someone like
telling their friends, this is Katya from Drag Race's
dick and showing photos at brunch.
Is that, I mean, maybe that's not a thing.
I don't think people care. I would do it.
I don't think people care. I would do it.
It doesn't reflect badly on you though for having
a sexual life. It reflects badly on them
for sharing someone's nudes without their permission.
I know that's true.
That's the moral issue. That's the moral issue.
That's the moral angle.
I'm just talking about the actual angle.
Well, just know this.
If they fuck you, they're absolutely telling people.
So what is the difference?
That's what I mean.
Now I'm only fucking straight guys.
They're not going to tell anybody.
They're not going to talk about it.
It's hearsay rather than photographic evidence
that's not admissible in court.
Are you taking it to court?
Well, but I mean,
if we're talking about real tangible things
in the world
like they have
they distributed photographs
of my genitalia
yeah
or they just lied
you know what I mean
like one thing is like
oh yeah it's John
he's drunk
we don't believe him
no they all lie
no I know
that's what I'm saying
but photos don't lie
they're lying
gay guys on the internet
are lying
when it comes to sex
they're lying
they're fabricating
they're creating fantasies
they're John Grisham.
It's the Pelican Brief.
It's the firm. It's Tom Cruise
and the firm. Men are liars.
Men are liars. Gay men are liars.
Stop lying about sex challenge.
Let's stop lying about sex challenge.
Stop lying about sex.
Stop lying about sex. Period.
And stop lying about your period.
Get your period. Stop lying. And stop lying about sex. Stop lying about sex. And stop lying about your period. Get your period.
Get your period.
And stop lying about it.
Yeah, that's the thing is.
Stop lying about sex.
Stop lying.
Stop lying about your penis.
Stop lying about the sex.
Stop lying about everything.
Do you know what I mean?
Stop it.
Yeah, stop.
Stop lying about your penis.
They should put your fucking dick size On your fucking driver's license, bitch
It should be verified by the government
When I had to get a passport
I had to bring two forms of ID
When you take your dick picture
You should need two forms of ID
It should be taken at the DMV
You know what I think is hysterical?
So I went on a date
And I found out
That the person lied about their age.
Two inches.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
His two inch age.
Height.
That is stupid.
I know.
I'm obsessed.
Obsessed.
Because I was like, I'm an inch shorter than that.
The label being taller?
Yeah.
I'm an inch shorter than that.
And I'm taller than you.
So Mary,
what is the truth?
Well, and ironically,
you like short guys. I do. So he lied for no reason. Well, right. I mean, he's obviously not
lying for me. He's lying for everybody else.
Because everybody else, they're so
It's fruitless.
It's fruitless to lie. It is.
Because guess what? At some point, you are
going to have to show up. I know. You're going to have to show up. You're going to have that tiny penis. You're going to be that little shorty guess what? At some point, you are going to have to show up.
I know.
You're going to have to show up.
You're going to have that tiny penis.
You're going to be that little shorty.
And no one cares.
Or you're going to be chubby.
Yeah.
Like, people do care, though.
Take a picture of your real weight, your real body hair, your real everything.
Yeah.
And that way, when it happens, you can go in with confidence.
Because they've seen fire and rain.
You know what I mean?
They've read. I don't know what I mean they've read
I don't know that this is true though
I mean
it's like
you're a person who's
you're six foot
with an above average wiener
right
so like
it's very easy for you
to just flap your gums like that
it's not like everything else
for me is great
literally nothing
yeah
that's what I'm saying
a bald cross dresser
no no no no
but okay no
I'm looking at the pros of you
and I'm saying
okay tall
large penis rich that's enough you could just be you could have gangrenous sores on half
of your face and no leg and you would be that's that's the catch so like i i i was just thinking
today because i was so self-conscious about sometimes because i when i go to hook up with
mostly bottoms right like 100% bottom I am
pretty much only top but my dick isn't huge it's medium to above average well it's not huge I'll
tell you this so not every bottom cares about a giant dick I think a lot of them do I don't think
they really do I hope they don't I don't think they do so like I hope they don't. I don't think they do. It's so, like, it's very disheartening.
Do you care about every bottom having a huge butt?
That's different, though.
You think?
Well, because it's the size of the butt itself, not the hole.
But I'm talking about the hole.
When I go to a fucking hole And I don't even hit the sides
I feel like
It's bad when he asks
Is it in? It's really bad when you ask
Is it in?
Damn bitch
Is it in? You tell me
Sometimes
No I don't think they care
Because you also don't want
Fear factor dick.
Every bottom experience doesn't have to be the bone collector.
It doesn't have to be.
The Goodyear blimp.
Girl, it doesn't have to be survivor.
It doesn't have to be lost.
Okay.
Lost?
Yeah.
Is that the show with the island?
I think that's not what I meant.
But I said lost.
I've never seen it.
The leftovers.
I mean.
Nine Perfect Strangers. You know what I mean, but I said lost. I've never seen it. The leftovers. I mean, I. Nine perfect strangers.
You know what I mean, though?
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm like, oh, my God.
Especially also, like, especially if a person is 100% bottom.
And I mean, I'm getting long in the tooth here.
At 40, let's face it, all of our friends in their early 30s, late 20s back in LA.
Fisting champions.
Oh, are you kidding me?
Pussy, blown out cow pussies.
Blown the fuck out.
The upside down. Trevors.ussies blown the fuck out the upside down
girl trevor is the upside down it's the upside down it is it's the upside down it truly is and
so i i get self-conscious i'm like well what do i bring to the table there like i have like
thankfully i do not have a small dick and then that got me thinking about that. I was like, but even people with small dicks,
there are people there who don't care.
I don't care if someone has a small dick.
Mary,
I don't either because there's so much,
I guess I'm answering my own question.
There's so many other things to do.
But when you're,
when you're approaching,
like I think in the beginning of like,
if you're thinking about being in a relationship or thinking about you like
somebody,
you're all that stuff is in the front of your mind.
Like, what would I bring to the table?
And all those things get like magnified in the beginning.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, I think.
Sexually anyways, if you're thinking about sexual compatibility.
Yeah.
And I think people in general are sort of attracted to their opposite or their exact
same, right?
So like in gay world, it's always like the chubby, muscly, hairy guys who want chubby,
muscly, hairy guys who want chubby, muscly, hairy guys. Or the opposite.
Chubby, muscly, hairy guys
want tiny, scrawny, hairless young
guys. At least in gay world, it always feels
like it's the game of exact copies
or exact opposites.
I don't know.
What's your exact opposite?
I don't do types,
though. I'm really not.
I'm not anyone's type either.
The problem is when you're bald,
and you're not necessarily ripped,
or necessarily young,
or not really anything,
you're just existing.
Half the time I can't tell if I'm Curious George
or the man in the yellow jacket.
Girl, I can't even tell.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Indian drag? Girl, Miss can't even tell. I don't know. I really don't know. It didn't drag?
Girl, Miss Nelson is missing.
Miss Nelson is missing, honey.
Fuck.
Viola Swamp, bitch.
Viola Swamp.
Oh, shit.
Well, the problem with the online thing, too, is...
We gotta go, mom.
We gotta go.
Are they waiting for us?
Yeah, we gotta go.
Yeah, we can go.
We'll be back.
We're going to do meet and greet.
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totally four out of five gynecologists would recommend it. So I tried
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And it comes in sticks and creams too. Go get your secret whole body deodorant.
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we're back from meet and greet yeah a lot of hotties up hot teas and i you know what i
it's a con you know what it is it's a conundrum water water everywhere uh-huh lots of people
who know what we do for a living and like us.
But that doesn't lead to people you want to fuck you wanting to fuck you.
These are two different Venn diagrams.
Well, I think it comes down to that pig in a wig who makes me giggle will not make my little weenie waddle wiggle.
Yeah, exactly.
will not make my little weenie waddle wiggle.
Yeah, exactly.
She's not going to make my little dingy wig wiggle.
Yeah.
Because she makes me giggle that thing.
The best is when you hit on them and they're like,
well, talk to me later.
And you go, I'm not joking.
Don't play games.
I passive aggressively,
my tone is hardened from years of rejection and ghosting where I'm like,
like, I'm not joking, bitch.
No.
And like, you know, like don't say shit.
Don't you don't. We're not going to say who said it, but there's this famous drag queen who said to a driver
in the mirror.
Yeah.
Don't look at me unless you're going to fuck me.
Which honestly is tea.
It's tea.
It's really tea.
I wouldn't look that far though.
I would say, don't say you're going to fuck me unless you're prepared to follow through on that.
We're on a deal, mama.
It's a red light special.
Don't sign a check that your ass cannot cash.
Your ass literally.
If you're going to look in my direction, you better have dushed.
You better have dushed, bitch.
I don't even need that.
I will fuck your shitty ass. I will fuck your shitty ass.
I will fuck your shitty...
In the shower.
We can...
I'm not into scat.
I'm not into scat.
Well...
I'm not into scat.
But things happen.
Things happen.
But you shouldn't be...
You know.
You should be diligent and hygienic.
But girl, I don't need you to be all that.
Because we're going to go have a lovely time in the shower in the tub.
Well, what happens if sodomy becomes illegal because well the government's gonna come into
my house enter my boudoir check under my negligee to count the loads in my ass
and it's gonna be zero zero mary no nobody's sodomizing this pussy but will stray people
be arrested for sodomy too because straight people let's have that conversation
okay we're all doing anal okay straight people are all doing anal i have a question to ask you so uh latasha leggero's
podcast there was a little clip that came up and somebody called in and so i have a compliment i
have a question for you the guy called a guy called in about his girlfriend and said i'm having a
problem my girlfriend i are in love but maybe many years and then,
but together many years,
but she won't do my ultimate sexual fantasy,
which is for me to come in her mouth.
What do you make of that?
She won't let him come in her mouth.
Correct.
And it's his,
it's his,
he decided he describes this as his number one sexual fantasy.
What do you make of that?
Every, well, let me just say that everybody should do what they're comfortable with, right?
Yes.
And that's it.
Yes.
So I was thinking.
My first.
That's so fucking vanilla.
I know.
Well, you don't want cum in your mouth?
I was going to say.
I'll put cum on my fucking pad thai, bitch.
I'll put cum on my hair, in my eyes, rub on my teeth.
I was going say Unless she
The only thing I didn't think
I was like oh
Maybe she's got some like
Past something going on
You know what I mean
Maybe there's like a
But I was like
My thing
She doesn't love you bitch
If she
If you won't
If she won't let you
Cum in her mouth
Or he or she won't let you
If you don't love you
That was my read on it
What do you think about that
Well
I know there's a lot of people
If she doesn't wanna do it she doesn't want
to do it period and that's your ultimate fantasy that's what i'm saying i feel bad for you i feel
bad too like if that's dream big dream bigger i was like do you know how many guys want to
fuck you in the ass like that i would say no that's like you're gonna go to a car dealership
and you're gonna steal the used prius you don't mean i don't know what I just said. I guess I mean like if you're going to do it
dream bigger.
Yes, totally.
Your dream car
should not be a Camry.
Exactly.
Right, right, right.
If you're in a situation
where that's your dream,
your ultimate dream
would be that she
he's not even asking
for her to swallow.
No.
Or even say I love that.
Which by the way
if it comes in your, just swallow it.
Yeah.
It's more undignified and weird to spit it out.
To either run to the bathroom or spit it on.
Yeah.
What?
My thing is, I think if I'm.
Eat that cum.
Eat all that cum.
Eat the cum.
I hate eat. Yeah, I hate eat. It's not eating or drinking. But the cum. I hate eat.
Yeah, I hate eat.
It's not eating or drinking.
But she ate.
But she ate.
It's not eating or drinking, though.
It's not food.
The way none of them ate.
It's the way none of them ate.
Girl, let them eat.
Let them eat cake.
Let the girls eat it.
Eat the cum.
If the cum is in your mouth, it's more undignified or whatever
to like get up and spit.
Yeah, be like,
ooh, gross.
Yeah.
Don't let it in your mouth
in the first place.
I think it's like,
I think it's hot.
Also, here's the thing.
Once,
if that's your partner's
ultimate fantasy,
then they're done.
Once the cum is in the mouth,
cash is checked,
the finish line is reached,
game over.
He doesn't want to continue
yeah because he just orgasmed it's over you just turn around and then you know what i mean don't
you don't have to do the porn thing no you spit the load back out and like sometimes they spit
it out and then like slip it back up again it's a lot of like it's yo-yo it's a lot of yeah because
in porn you want to see the cum Yes To like Yeah
It's you know
But in real life
Mama
I don't really want to
Spit it out
And like look at it
Drop my name in the snow
Snowballing
We're not doing all that
Nobody's snowballing
Nobody's snowballing
The only thing that's snowballing
The only thing that's snowballing
Is the idea of snowballing
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Because
I remember I saw this porn
With these two straight guys
And they were snowballing And I was like If you're If you're I would say So many of these guys Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I remember I saw this porn with these two straight guys.
And they were snowballing.
And I was like, if you're – I would say so many of these guys want to, like, fuck you in the butt.
And if you don't want to get fucked in the butt, getting fucked in the butt is horrible.
You know, it's different than a little cum in the mouth. Well, it can be your angle or it can be your double.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, this can be your, like, anal backdoor slut seven or Shawshank Redemption.
Also, if you want to do something that your girlfriend doesn't want to do,
bitch, move the fuck on.
Move on.
Move on.
Just fuck.
Because honestly, finding somebody-
Get over it.
It doesn't make you shallow to want to be with somebody you're sexually compatible with.
It's the only part that makes you.
Oh, no.
I was just saying deal with it the other way.
Just don't do it.
Oh, you mean move on from the idea?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I'm saying.
Oh, you're just fine.
That's sort of maybe a flag that this relationship is not going to be long term sexually fulfilling,
which could really be an issue.
I would say that, too.
I know that's really simplistic and probably doesn't give The girl the benefit of the doubt
Well it depends
Well it can go both ways
If she's not getting
The sex she wants
She can also be like
Well that's really important to me
Yeah
Because to some people
Sex maybe is not important to me
Right
To me
My sex has always been
Good in relationships
Yeah
Probably because
It's important to me
Yeah
And I'm not
I'm not even going on
That third or fourth date
Unless it's good
You know what I mean
Right
This isn't pity This isn't pity You know what I mean? Right.
This isn't pity.
This isn't pity. And how do you feel about this though?
Because like,
so I,
if you went out,
if you went out on a grinder date with someone and you guys had sex and you didn't come,
would you think of that as a failure?
No,
no,
not at all.
Okay.
So we didn't come.
Yeah.
Say you got fucked Like twice
And then
Neither of you came
You just
It just kind of like
I don't
What
What
I don't
I don't relate to not coming
And that
Okay
So I don't know about that
Okay
Would you consider that a failure
If it's like
Let's say
I was
Was that
There was a guy I dated Would that be Flaptina?
Would it be Flaptina?
No.
Okay.
There was a guy I dated where the first date, making out, jerking off, he comes and then we were drinking.
And if drinking is part of it, maybe you just like diffuse and go home, whatever.
Somebody came.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I don't see a world where you like engage in anal intercourse and no one comes.
I don't see a world where you like engage in anal intercourse and no one comes.
I don't know where that, who, by the time the anal is happening, I'm like ready.
Like by the time we're doing that and everything that leads up to that, I'm probably pretty close to being done.
You know what I mean?
By the time we're having sex, sex, sex, I'm like, you got about 10 minutes.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
We're good. It's a wrap minutes you know what i mean yeah we're good it's a wrap you know what i mean yeah i will say i've been with guys we're like their dream of
topping is like marathon sex and even though i'm a bottom bottom bottom yeah you have about
t minus nine seconds you know what i mean i'm doing like the apollo 13 countdown 10 9 8 exactly I'm like
I got stuff to do
I got emails
I gotta get on slack
I have a zoom
do you have something
a different experience
do you think it's a failure
if no one comes
so I
I don't consider
A I don't consider
any sexual experience
to be a failure
it was a trick question
kind of sort of
like I don't
I would never walk away from a sexual experience thinking, like,
bop or flop.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I wouldn't, I would say, like, bop or flop.
Like, if, do you know, like.
Is bop good?
Yes!
Oh, I thought, like, you bop him because you don't like it.
No, no.
No.
You know, like, as I'm leaving, I'm like, bop or flop.
Like, you know, I kind of resist that, like.
Have you ever been in a hookup where the vibe isn't right and you make out and
then stop and someone goes home?
Yes.
Yeah, absolutely.
Even then, it's not a failure.
No, it's information.
You applied the brakes.
Yeah.
Information.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Graceful, like, navigation of a social interaction.
I would say that's the hardest thing about sex, like, in my 20s, early 20s, in college.
Going along with it when you don't want to.
Have you done that?
Marry all the time.
I describe it as being too white to say no. Yes. Yes. Where I'm just like, yes. Well, I'm already here. Yeah. early 20s in college going along with it when you don't want to have you done that Mary all the time
I describe it as being
too white to say no
yes
where I'm just like
yes
well I'm already here
yeah I hate it
I hate it
I'm not hard
I'm gonna let him fuck me
I mean
it's just when you're young
you don't have the confidence
to say like hey
it's just not a good fit
yeah or just like
hey stop
and then just kind of
hey I'm just gonna take a break
and then you know
actually I'm just gonna go home
well that's when it's good
to have something to pivot with.
You know what I mean?
I like to sort of go,
Hey,
I have to ask,
have you heard the good news?
You know,
like,
and I'll sort of go into religious.
Yeah.
Have you heard the good news?
Have you heard the good news?
Do you think Bush did 9-11?
I couldn't help but wonder.
Have you heard the good news?
You pull out your unabridged Bible.
I'm excited that we're here together because I brought this cassette tape of Ojibwe rain dances, and I thought we could listen to it together.
Put it on.
Put it on.
I also brought some Cheeto Puffs.
I've been meaning to read Moby Dick out loud
non-stop
from beginning to end
okay wait wait
I've turned the corner
on the word faggot
me too
where like
I like it
and I've always been like
fine with gay people saying it
at this point
I get a thrill
out of straight people
who hate gay people saying it
yeah
I'm like say it
you hate me don't you
you know what I mean
yes I do
it's like
you're showing your ass by using it I'm like use the word do it you hate me don't you you know what i mean it's like it's like
you're showing your ass by using i'm like use the word i know do it show me how fucking stupid you
are how much you hate me show me how stupid you are how stupid you are stupid literally stupid
yeah and um i was i was when i was on z-way i was like wait she said something like i was like
um oh she asked it was like a baiting question was like when you say that like somebody was like i
think it was like ashley tisdale was like a clip of her It was like, when you say that, like somebody was like, I think it was like Ashley Tisdale was like a clip of her.
Someone was like, when you say the word queer, it's something, something, something.
Hilary Duff.
Hilary Duff.
When you say the word gay, do you know what you're saying?
Yes.
I was like, I want to bring the word faggot back.
A hundred percent.
Because honestly, not to be political, but now we're in a world where people are viciously
anti-gay, but it's all coded.
Oh yeah. if they just said
faggot i'm running on the platform of i hate faggots just it's like when something is traditional
family stuff yeah when something's like against gay marriage and it's called focus on the family
focus on the family just say you hate faggots and i'm not even being funny i know i know you
hate faggots we want to burn faggots
um on in like on a pyre because i think what they're doing is they're getting away with
doing some hateful shit yeah by not having to own up to it i'm like wear that fucking badge
yeah if you mean it yeah absolutely well it doesn't agree with the lifestyle and my belief
yeah just say when you think of me fucking my boyfriend you throw up yeah just say it
just fucking say i hate cornhole sucking faggots and i want them all to die because we have a lot
in common yeah you're like when i think of you naked you're the man i want to throw up i'm like
bitch me too bitch me too when i think of you cross-dressing i I want to retch. Yeah, bitch. Everyone. Grow up.
Take a number.
Girl, take a number.
Get in line.
People in the meet and greet
with my shirts on
won't fuck me.
Tell them what happened.
Tell them what happened yesterday.
I stood up
three quarters of the way
through a sold-out show
in Melbourne, Australia
to address the 5,500 people
in the audience.
People who bought tickets
starting from $50 all the way up to $300 the audience, people who bought tickets starting from $50
all the way up to $300 or more, people who waited three years to honor these tickets
and comments.
I said, please, will one of you fuck me?
And not one of them did.
I wish.
Oh, my God.
It's so funny.
I've also turned a corner on the United States.
Oh.
I'm not like one of those 2016, I'm moving to Canada people.
I might be a 2022 moving to Canada person, though.
Mary, at this point, I'm like, let the...
21% of the country is Christian.
And the only people who can make effective change...
Are you serious?
Yeah.
The only people who can affect change are people who are so rich they don't care to do anything.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
It's so hard to get like, when people are like, you need to stay mad and get involved.
I'm like, we are Kate Bush running up that hill and that hill is only getting steeper.
Yeah.
We aren't winning anything.
No.
We're moving backwards. We're literally moving backwards.
Literally uncovering.
Separation of church and state has never been there,
but now it's just so belligerently not there.
And no one cares.
It has nothing to do with anything.
It has nothing to do with the founding fathers.
It has nothing to do with dusty ass constitutional whatever.
Nothing.
These people are
are dumb these people these marjorie taylor greens and these ted cruz's and these all these people
they are fucking sick fucking psychophants and they don't they don't know they don't read the
bible they don't read the constitution they know nothing about it coney barrett amy coney barrett
oh the justice yeah like fucking she'll be there for the rest of our lives. Yeah. Voting against our rights forever.
Yeah.
Forever.
Yeah.
Forever.
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
That Supreme Court is a flop court.
I know.
It feels like we don't talk about politics on this podcast because we're preaching to
the choir, right?
Yeah.
If you listen to this, if you're watching this, you're either conservative and jerking
off.
Yeah.
Hi.
Or you agree with us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or you have more sophisticated Points of view than we do
Right
Which we're just stupid
But
At a certain point
It's like
I just want healthcare
But
I just want to be like
I just want to go to the doctor
Like
I was like
When I have like a major health issue
And it takes me
Like with
Fierce health insurance
For to go
I have to wait a month
To get an appointment
With a specialist
And then I come to Australia And i wait about six hours we have health care we have to pay a lot of money any
doctors you and i have the money to get any surgical procedure that exists i could have my
head replaced actually not a bad idea and every time when we go to we go to the same doctor every
time i go to our medical facility i'm'm like, God, what do people do?
I don't know.
They don't.
They avoid it.
I mean, when I was 22 or whatever, I went from college, going to my college doctor, to doing drag race and being able to afford a doctor.
There was only a few years there in the middle where I just, if I was sick, I don't know what I did.
I didn't go to the doctor.
I had no health insurance, nothing.
It's not just the health insurance.
It all comes down to the separation of church and state is so bogus
because all the rich white people
are Christian or pretend to be Christian
everything is about that
everything is about
the bible and hating gay people
yes and I also I cannot
at least in a way
I almost
respect them for having a clear but crazy point of view.
Rather than these do-nothing Democrats.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Word salad.
You've got to hear that clip of Kamala talking about, we will work together.
It was like, what are you talking about?
Shut up.
Just word salad, word salad, word salad.
Here's the thing.
I see there's two sides of it, right?
Because the moment some crisis happens,
like Roe v. Wade being overturned,
the moment it happens, within an hour, as a major leader,
you're supposed to have a statement.
When in fact it takes more than an hour
to formulate a real plan.
That is very generous of you,
but they're also just flops.
Sleepy Joe?
Flop Tina.
Flop Tina.
That's the problem, that's the problem.
It's just- Flop Tina.
And then when we have a candidate that I really liked, like Bernie. I remember seeing the picture of Bernie, like, Flop Tina. Flop Tina. That's the problem. It's just- Flop Tina.
And then when we have a candidate that I really liked, like Bernie.
I remember seeing the picture of Bernie, like the black and white being arrested for like
protesting and then I'm like, work bitch.
And I'm like, but I know the world is horrible.
I know that if there's certain candidates where because they know exactly what we need
to do, they will never win. Because they're not rich enough,
because they don't appeal to the,
I mean, the only way you can really win anything
is if you get the mass amounts of crazy Christians
to go vote for you.
Republican party used to not even be Christian.
When Reagan happened, they suddenly went,
well, if we get all these fundamental Christian-y people
to vote, we can get all these people who've never voted before
to rush to the polls let's start including things christians care about it's so bogus
imagine and not to be like uh hypothetical because i hate in politics when it's always
hypotheticals if these were muslim religious ideals any other type of religious ideal than Christian nothing
No, people would be like no no no
No, and also there's no I mean there's absolutely no
It's it's so hypocritical. So it's so common for this gay marriage. They're fucking coming for a bitch and
I'm not even somebody who's desperately wants to get married no but I just also don't want to
get killed for being gay I mean it's like aren't we moving a little I want to be choked for being
by the right people at the right time yeah by the right people not people on the right
I get really scared when I'm like on an airplane googling what can I actually do I know what can
I actually do how can I actually help I don't know I mean I
don't think it's it's I don't think it's great to have like to be to be hopeless
obviously as just in general but um I was like I was thinking today I was like
somebody was somebody somebody posted a really funny thing about like this thing
when I think was tick-tock they're like are you preparing for the apocalypse
she's like honey preparing we're in the middle of it you know
and i was like okay yeah i was like oh i bet this is just you know hindsight if we even have the
grace of that later on i think it's gonna go straight into class warfare in a civil war
i kind of do i mean what are all these people hoarding guns for i don't know because they're
gonna kill everybody well that's the problem is conservatives are so-
Why do they want their guns so bad?
Because they hate half of the country.
Well, and because they-
That's what's funny when people get really critical of drag queens for-
When they treat us like we are ideals in any way.
Or that we have an ideology, a uniform.
Or that you and I are anything to aspire to or people you should listen to about your life.
Right.
Half the country and half the country, we would be murdered for walking down the street like this.
Yeah.
And people forget that.
Yeah.
You and I might be like mainstream now or whatever, but like people still hate us just for doing this.
Yeah, yeah.
You and all your gay friends.
It really seems like everyone likes us.
Oh,
it's,
it's nothing,
nothing of the sort.
Most people find what we do probably really gross and offensive.
Like super disgusting and morally reprehensible and worthy of like,
it must be a,
like stamped out.
Yeah.
Like a bug.
Yes.
Like a eradicated,
like a,
like a pesticide needs to be on it.
Yes.
Like, ooh, gross.
Like a cockroach.
But what I really don't get, and this is like, what I really don't get is, whatever people
do with religion, whatever religion, any of them, they don't, they do it, and like, I
will vote for your right to do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
I want you to be able to do it.
Sure.
But then the flip side of the coin is.
But then the flip side of the coin is.
But then the flip side of the coin is, the religious't take your magic book and put it on my life.
The flip side of the coin is the religious people don't want us to do whatever we want.
No.
They don't want us to not be religious even.
And not only that, they want us to adhere to the rules of their fairy tale book, their
mythology.
That's what I'm saying.
Ron Hubbard.
Mary.
Mary.
The Garden of Good and Evil.
Snakes and Apples.
God's Coming Out of Zeus's Thigh.
Xenu.
Xenu.
Warrior Princess.
It's all mythology.
Not literal.
It's all mythology for lessons.
And I was like, so what?
Oh, my God.
Mama, the Catholic Church has so much explaining to do.
There's so much wrong.
And I just don't even know where to begin.
I'm just like.
I don't either.
But so now I'm literally thinking about it.
I'm just talking about quality of life and I really don't like that kind of like, oh, now that I have the means to abscond, escape and be a – or not a refugee.
What do you call that?
An expat.
Like now that – because that's very bougie, of course.
It's like people who are like – well, the rich can still get abortions however they need.
They can take a private jet somewhere to a country they get an
abortion well any i mean america that is america man like that is america it is just money nothing
else there's nothing else besides money even that fucker that piece of shit joel austin and in uh
houston the mega preacher it's all it's all of them. Are you kidding me? Oh, I mean, all of them.
Jan Crouch used to fly her dogs private.
Her dogs.
It's just...
You and I flew coach the other day.
Yeah.
We're dogs.
And we're dogs.
We're Pomeranians.
God, it's so...
I don't mean to be so defeatist,
but the problems...
I was thinking while I was putting makeup on today,
I was thinking,
when I was younger
Was it this bad
Like I just remember
Watching the news
And hearing about like
Jizz on a miniskirt
You know what I mean
That's all I heard about
But it's the stuff we don't see
It's the stuff that's always been there
But was I just too young to understand
Was I too young to understand
The problem is
Everybody's like
Well you need to vote
And it's like
Go vote for who for what
That's what I'm saying
It's like
The problem is
The conservatives
Will get people to vote Based on religious things And religious people Get very fired up Yes And the problem is the conservatives will get people to vote based on religious things and religious people get very fired up.
Yes.
And the problem is Democrats won't vote unless it's the perfect candidate for them.
Right.
And the other problem is the left wants this and the right wants this.
And all we do is watch things get overturned, changed back and forth.
Prop eight.
You know, we don't see a lot of compromising.
We don't see a lot of Iising we don't see a lot of
i want this and you want this what's the middle it's just a lot of fight until you get this and then wait until that justice dies and somebody else comes in and then it can be flipped it's
just a lot of i mean this new supreme court like we're going to deal with this forever anything
conservative will get passed in our lifetime america's really we that's what it's the longer
you look at it the more you're like disgusting yeah it's a really bad shit it started bad and
it's gonna end bad it's a little like i mean it's not like renovating but you pull up the carpet and
you're like hardwood and then you're like oh there's termites oh yeah you know what i mean
human slaves yes it's worse and worse it's like oh and there's an electrical issue and there's asbestos yeah yeah and all of these together have made this house unlivable and
there's a poltergeist it's not electricity it's just evil gas yeah and i don't know i guess we're
just you know we're just entertainers and our job is we don't ever talk about politics and we
shouldn't we're not going to continue yeah yeah because we're also stupid i mean stupid and we
just trying to make people laugh but oh fuck i mean the day we were in we weren't even in america when roe v way was overturned
and it's just like i was like well what can i do we're over here and i'm like what could i do if i
was there yeah fucking nothing go walk in the street not that not that protesting isn't important
no but i mean what else can i do it It's certainly better than Planned Parenthood having the gall to like ask for donations
I was like my Mary what you been doing? What you been doing about this? Like what have you been does a ghoulish?
What have you been doing to prevent this?
Well, that's the problem is I mean I was like I don't think it was meant to last the Roe v
Wade thing was not meant to last this long period. I
mean and then we'll be like, well, people should be able to judge, decide this on a
state level.
I'm like, you want people in the Bible belt to be able to tell these like, it's just so
cool.
Do you think people won't get abortion?
No, no.
See, it's-
Do you think people won't get pregnant?
It's not, it's the thing about it is like, this guy was like, don't really try to shift the conversation.
It's not banning abortions.
It's criminalizing them
because abortions will continue.
They will just be illegal.
Yeah.
And so dangerous.
People will be arrested.
There'll be,
and then people are going to die.
So that's all it is.
You're just making something illegal
and it will continue to happen.
It will be unsafe and dangerous and deadly.
In the courts, when they talk about things, when people mention their faith, their beliefs, anything, it should be objection.
Like, that should not even be talked about.
It should not even be talked about.
No, it's immaterial.
It doesn't.
It makes no sense.
My golden horse, my golden goose, my 17 wives in heaven.
Girl, fuck off.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
Are you talking about my three pussies?
Well, now you got me.
Now I'm interested.
The court will allow it to you.
When I hear them talk about their faith or anything, I'm like, you need to stop.
Bullshit, too. Bullshit too.
Bullshit.
It's all buzzwords.
Why does the president have to be at least 35?
And there's an unwritten rule that the president has to be pretty much a practicing or fake practicing Christian.
Oh, a hundred percent.
I mean, even I bet even for even for atheists and non-practice, like I bet they would be like something about that is not really like.
Yeah, I don't want I don't want one second of the president's attention to go towards something that doesn't exist.
I'm nervous.
Thank you.
That doesn't exist.
Live in the reality.
There is nothing up there besides atmosphere, you fucking whores.
But even if.
Get a grip.
But even if there is, even if God turned out to be real tomorrow, I don't think that the change the way people –
I don't – sorry, the GoPro.
Oh.
I don't think that the change –
Mama, we heard you.
I don't think it should change the way people make laws.
No.
No.
Because –
We're making laws for us.
All of these people live as if their religion is 100% real anyway.
Yeah.
Talk to any religious person.
And they're like, oh, this is the one.
Yeah.
Oh, Mama, that's cute, but this is gorgeous right right so it's just so crazy to me that it continues to be adult educated
traveled cultured people still fucking around and not just fucking around with it trying to impose
it on other people that's like like it's anything to do with truth. Wake the fuck up, bitch.
Wake the fuck up.
Well, here's the thing.
Be religious if you want.
Whatever. I'm not being critical of people being religious.
I am.
I am.
Because y'all are, I mean, listen.
But good for them.
Oh, sure.
Good for people who knit.
Before you go to bed, if you want to kneel next to your bed and pray.
Absolutely.
If you want to go to church on Christmas, good for you.
If you want to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy.
That has nothing to do with it.
Yeah.
If you want to put on a little latex pussy pants. If you want to sing Yankee Doodle Dandy. That has nothing to do with it. Yeah. If you want to put on a little latex pussy pants.
If you want to play Clue or whatever.
But the urge of like sitting alone in a room Christian and you notice some people who aren't
Christian and you're like, oh, they're not Christian.
Oh my God.
What are we going to do?
I'm going to tell them the good news.
Yeah.
They're not praying before their meal.
Like what is the urgency?
Yeah.
Worry about your, eat your food.
Eat your food, bitch.
Eat your food.
Brush your hair, bitch. Brush your fucking your food eat your food eat your brush your hair
brush your fucking hair it's just so crazy it's so crazy and honestly i feel like as drag queens
a lot of times i feel that i'm because i'm not very politically vocal i actually feel like well
i know how the world works the last thing anybody right wing needs to see is a drag queen like me
screaming about my beliefs because i'm already
their picture of like what the future liberals want yeah you know what i mean yeah it's almost
like at pride sometimes i'm like the person leading the parade should be a boring librarian
who's gay because not all of us are vibrant openly sexual yeah with clits pierced and like
yeah most gay people are just watching netflix They're boring. Yeah. They're boring. Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's hard with the religious people because there's a lot of religious people who believe in abortion, believe in like want gay people to have marriage.
They exist.
Reasonable people.
But the loudest and craziest among them get all the airtime.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because they're unhinged.
And the gaggy part is these super conservative religious politicians,
they're not.
They just want the votes
of those who are.
And guess what?
They just want money.
They're not.
They just want money and power.
They're not.
No.
Oh, girl, they're fucking
trans hookers
in the shadows.
Yeah.
They're fucking doing
shooting Tina with whores.
You know what I mean?
They're shooting Tina
with hookers. And to clarify, they shot Tina with aores. You know what I mean? They're shooting Tina with hookers.
And to clarify, they shot Tina
with a gun. I mean, this is
a CPAC convention. They are
shooting meth with whores.
If you went there in drag on a grinder
at a conservative... Mama.
If you want to get fucked, that's what you should be.
40 plus hours a week, honey. Over time.
And 40 plus age.
It's exhausting.
Yeah, I don't mean to be defeatist, but I just really, I truly was on the plane.
They're Googling.
What can I actually do about this?
What can I actually do?
Because I don't want to do nothing because it's stupid.
And I think I spent too much of my early 20s not being more involved than I was.
Well, I know it can happen get is to do action in the neighborhood
right because things like i mean literally in the block you live yes like in the block you live like
find out who is like what's going on in the action because that's how anything substance like
anything um that's going to catch and anything locally um i know what you're saying anything
actually you can tell something's different.
Yes, you can.
This is and then it's like because other communities can then apply that.
You can go through all the grunt work and then the streamlined version can be available to other communities.
Yes.
Next door.
Like, hey, actually, we did all that crap.
We trial and error, trial and error.
This is what worked for us.
Boom.
And then all of a sudden it's it's like county wide.
Oh, and it's statewide.
So, like, I think that makes more sense
too because also like little like personal stuff is like you know those those horrible adages like
oh change starts within or whatever like you uh you know like maybe it's on a poster
a treatment facility of some sort you know
but you know being nice is also something you can do well now i'm gonna stop
you right there because that's not something i believe in not my religion is being mean so
it's being a huge bitch all right can we call it here we gotta go get picked up for the show
i guess i'm so tired i know i don't want to this is hard touring is so hard it's really
this has been so many tour dates this year, back to back with Queen of the
Universe and Trixie Motel and everything.
Well, let's just put a name to the elephant inside the room, which is workaholism.
It's taken me to a place of, what am I doing?
What are you doing?
What am I doing?
Mama, look at me.
I'm a lizard just baking in the sun.
But would I say That you're doing well
You know what I mean
I'm not gonna look at you
And be like
Well there's what
I should be doing
Totally
She's doing great
She's so happy
She's engaged
She loves her community
She has so many close friends
She makes
You know
She has an incredible
Five year plan
You don't have
A five minute plan
Five minute Five minute yeah Alright Well Let's do a show Aren't they cute she has an incredible five year plan you don't have a five minute plan five minute
five minute yeah
alright
well
let's do a show
aren't they cute
Marcella got them for me
so pretty
well
listen
I guess
just
I can't recommend anything
other than
you know what will heal the world
watching Trixie Motel
on Discovery Plus
I will say
renovation
I know we have to go change but let's be honest i'm on discovery tlc
like at that world hgtv it's mostly probably conservative viewership sure and renovation
is probably the last heterosexual frontier of television think about it renovation is about a
man and a woman yep children we're expanding our family yeah're moving the great American dream it's about family family family family
family
home ownership
and so doing renovation
and not having to be about
kids family
being straight
just about being fabulous
it's just about
being gorgeous
being fabulous
and making money
yeah
and she
and she should say it
and she should say it
let's have that conversation
let's have that conversation
I would say
it's always
it's funny to watch you
in the trailer the clips where you're like you're like you're just like dying over a hot
pink bathtub it's fantastic i couldn't handle that i was like is she upset i almost cried i
was like is she hate it she love it i almost cried i almost cried the pink bath i thought i
thought i was gonna cry i was like she's not a good actor I was like that's real
no but what I excel at is reacting
how I really feel
people in the universe they're like are you really
I'm like the people are singing
no choice
I just feel what I feel
I didn't period this industry to stifle myself
thank you
deadass
I'm horny and I'm allowed to be horny you know dead ass
no literally i have a dead ass i have a dead ass oh did the camera die oh okay bye Bye.