The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Revisiting the Bug-Eyed TikTok Bitch with Brittany Broski

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

As we plan a few forthcoming Bald projects to satiate you filthy heathens, we re-visit one of our favorite episodes with the peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Ko...mbucha Girl"). She joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her intoxicating vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals skills, and the secret magic of Dave & Buster's. Follow Brittany: @Brittany_Broski Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com/ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be helpful! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:25 With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. Hi, Bald. This is me, Trixie Mattel. And we're working on some great big upcoming projects. So we're going to revisit some of our favorite episodes of The Bald and the Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:00:40 This week, we're going back to our interview with Brittany Broski. Enjoy. This week, we're going back to our interview with Brittany Broski. Enjoy. I know, I know. And then the Capitol. Sorry, we were just recapping. Brittany Broski was seen at the Capitol in November. Come on!
Starting point is 00:00:58 It was in November. Insurrection? January 6th. November? It was right after the inauguration. Yeah, January 6th. 6th. Brittany, was it you in the wolf, the hooded?
Starting point is 00:01:07 No, she had the lady Viking and then the yellow M&M costume and then the lady Viking hat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And six inch Gene Simmons platform boots. Yeah, yeah. And she was seen in Nancy Pelosi's personal bathroom wiping her ass with seven inch acrylics that couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. So she dumped her ass, dunked her ass in the toilet water.
Starting point is 00:01:28 Yes. And that's how she was caught. And that's how you use a bidet. We have somebody who's honestly, if we're truly, honestly, sincerely. You want to talk an actual beauty icon? Uh-huh. A woman who is not afraid to invoke the smoke and mirrors of hair and hair and makeup cosmeceutical when did she get here i'm waiting who is she also she she's actually my neighbor yeah and so walked
Starting point is 00:01:55 here we say that me her and sarah shower are a content house now oh my god you're like a tiktok house a dick dock house a dick that nobody had asked for Not a single person was like, we need that to happen. Well, Monique Hart used to live on this block too. And then we would have really been a house. Or a content corner or a block. Yeah, it's a content corner. That's what they call it. Truly.
Starting point is 00:02:15 I recently did a little bit of a, well, I just learned about TikTok houses and stuff. And in Russia, they have them as well. And there's one called the Dream Team. houses and stuff and in russia they have them as well and there's one called the dream team and i i i felt so i i felt like that thing where you're like you'd know just without a shadow of a doubt like oh you're old and there's no going back you know what i mean it's like when you can't understand the language of the young very well yeah now y'all understand that very well i don't know if being nice but he's like it's never happened to me oh my god i'm letting you know because i'm 42 years old i'm not ashamed of it. And I just have
Starting point is 00:02:47 really like I've made peace with the fact that I won't ever live in a TikTok house. And that's OK. Are you OK? Do you want to? I'm looking for my water. Sorry. Oh, I'm having a little stroke lit over here. Don't mind me. I was a stroke lit. A stroke lit. It's like a Brink's lit. A Brink's lit? No, I'm having a stroke. Oh, my a brink slit um a brink a brink no i'm having a stroke oh my god when i'm the only healthy one here that's when you know the shit has really hit the fan it's falling apart we got sound effects sis you want to try one i would love to try one no that's too much we didn't plan what if every time you hit it, it was something really negative. A racial epithet. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Look at you with them nails. Speaking of TikTok, you know, Brittany has been to the TikTok headquarters. I don't. What is it? Is there, is it like a.
Starting point is 00:03:37 It's just a bunch of like disgruntled 20 somethings in an office in Santa Monica. I imagine it's just like a, like a very modernist building with a giant plasma screen of Anthony Hopkins going tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. That's the way it is in my mind. Y'all are coming on my tick tock,
Starting point is 00:03:53 calling me daddy. I hate you. You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me $300. Give me $200. Can we talk about celebrities on TikTok? We are celebrities on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:04:03 You are a celebrity. I would say you are your generation's um are you your generation's julia roberts tammy faye baker well you got the lashes down those are thank you you're your generation's kristin chenoweth does youtube pay for the tiktok house who pays the rent you want to know something um very very much rivals um when it comes to like social media platforms is like you can't really you know and we're urged in the tiktok podcast i don't know if we can keep this in to not talk about the other platforms because they want to see tiktok as not social media but as a place to spread joy. It sounds like it is. When it's in the right hands, it is.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Well, I think. Okay. I mean, technology in itself is, you could argue, neutral. It's what it's used for. Sure. Right. Sure. It's a tool for whatever evil you want to put it.
Starting point is 00:04:59 It's a tool for whatever kind of evil fucking stupid choreography you want to do. For the people we run with, we could ruin any platform ruin any platform oh yeah we can make anything dark-sided i would take any tool and and really yeah i'll put it in the wrong hands well i hate to toot your horn but you know brittany is the host of the official tiktok podcast oh shit they are happy they're lucky to have you because i do think everybody likes you and you're gonna get all kinds of guests who maybe they have nothing in common but their unifying thing is that they all like talking to you oh well that's sweet isn't it that's bliss or is it yeah we'll find out
Starting point is 00:05:40 that's not a good one that's like the morning radio that's the full house intro yeah totally you watch wandavision i don't but i did watch the mandalorian and uh did you find have you learned that um sophie innerson and uh rebecca moore have released the mandalorian no but i will be checking that out on disney channel the amanda laporian theorean that is the best one that is so good the idea that I mean like
Starting point is 00:06:08 could you imagine Amanda Lepore in a mask can't see her face until only like 10 seconds at the end of the series and the whole time
Starting point is 00:06:15 you're like hi guys you know what I mean that is of course so fucking funny I imagine like her assistant showing her on the phone
Starting point is 00:06:21 like look they're doing this and she looks at the Amanda Leporean meme and goes okay but what is that it's on disney that's great hi britney the breastplate would be so big you could clock her so easy yeah yeah he's the most clockable oh my god how are you enjoying podcasting podcasting is very fun isn't it this is like i'm living my jimmy fallon fantasy
Starting point is 00:06:46 fun isn't it this is like I'm living my Jimmy Fallon fantasy and no drag yeah which is sad you know what else too they know because like for the guest benefit they book it at like 10 30 a.m pacific time well girl I go to sleep at 9 a.m pacific time so I have to like get up early for the podcast early it's like 11 a.m so I'm never in full beat and it's a video and I just feel I'm giving Owen Wilson everything and it's just like, I hate it. Giving adult, what's his name from the, Freddie Prinze Jr. No.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Giving Haley Joel Osment. Yes. Giving adult Haley Joel Osment. Yes. Oh boy. With his mullet. It's fun because when you think of podcast, I mean, the video aspect to it is definitely fun, but y'all don't do the Osment. Yes. Oh boy. With his mullet. It's fun because when you think of podcast, I mean, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:27 the video aspect to it is definitely fun, but y'all don't do the video aspect. Okay. It's not stress. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a podcast is an audiophile. It is, but they love to watch. All the biggest people have made it a video.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Yes, I realize this, but we're in drag together fucking 10 times a week on the internet. People can just imagine what we look like. Do you really forget by the time can just imagine what we look like. Do you really forget by the time Tuesday comes around what we look like? I can't absorb this audio information as I have a visual cue. It's like, come on. Do you like listening to stuff?
Starting point is 00:07:56 Is it overrated now? I don't know. I was going to ask. Sorry to interrupt you. Go ahead. The TikTok is so visual. What do you do? Talk about choreography? We talk about their experience on the app
Starting point is 00:08:11 because it really is an interesting conversation depending on who you're talking to. I mean, if you're talking to, you know, Charli D'Amelio, it's like, so you dance? Yeah, you do that a lot. I mean, there's not really much to talk about, but when you go deeper into it of, you know, mentally,
Starting point is 00:08:25 how has this affected you? Yeah. Like, what is it like having a hundred million people comment on what you do every single second of the day? That's a very interesting conversation. Um, I've talked to,
Starting point is 00:08:35 um, Derek Huff. Hi Derek Huff. Oh, I just saw him. I just saw him on Tik TOK. Yeah. Doing the,
Starting point is 00:08:42 you know what I'm talking about? No, not at all. But I'm going to act like I do and I love it. I don't even know who Derek Hough is. Dancing with the Stars. Right? Dancing with the Stars? Now, y'all are supposed to be the pinnacle of pop culture.
Starting point is 00:08:55 You know who fucking Derek Hough is. Julianne something and Derek Hough? Yeah. We don't know anything. Blonde male dancer. She knows a little more than me because she watches TV. Well, y'all have these obscure little references that fucking nobody clocks. I'm 50 years old, honey.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I have a lot of like, you know what I mean? I don't watch television. I don't either. You and me watch what? 90 Day Fiance and what? Literally 90 Day Fiance. Oh. I'm watching 90 Day Fiance.
Starting point is 00:09:17 But I don't watch TV. Exactly. That's above that. Yeah. I've seen episodes. I've seen seasons one through seven. It's not like I've seen them all. I've seen seasons one through seven. How's not like I've seen them all. I do. I've seen seasons one through seven.
Starting point is 00:09:27 How many fucking Fiance's are there, girl? Seven seasons? A lot. Damn. You know what I like about it? It's formulaic and still new every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
Starting point is 00:09:35 That's what I like about it. Tried and true. It's like every classic sitcom. Yeah. I love 90. And you know why I started listening to it? Because all my favorite comedy people were always talking about it. I was like, well, it must be funny if they like it.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And it is crazy. Amy Schumer is just like, I love 90 Day Fiancé. Everyone is like, have you been? Oh, I've just been watching 90 Day Fiancé. How about you? And the other person's like, same. Yeah. I mean, that's people's whole podcast.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah. I mean, there's Nicole Byer. She loves it. A lot of people like I see it on Twitter. A lot of people love it. I've never seen it. I don't like reality shows. Or should I be watching the Amanda Leporian?
Starting point is 00:10:04 Yes, you should. It's fucking riveting. That's not even real. Oh. Those people aren't. I hate to break it to you. I hate to break it to you. Those people aren't real.
Starting point is 00:10:12 But let me tell you, Muhammad is real. From 90 Day Fiancé. Oh. It's like, oh, we're getting into religion already. I was like, we're bringing allies to this? I want to divorce Muhammad. I love that show. Do they ever truly fall in love
Starting point is 00:10:26 do you believe it yes you like the bachelor i've never seen it do you like the bachelor i am i've seen clips of it and just enough to know about the fun and i've read people's commentary and i've and i've observed the the the craze around it like i am fascinated that people allow themselves to get swept up in something that is obviously so many levels of of fake is not even the word yeah it's like produced but right and like I was like okay so I'm trying to grapple with is this this is just on this like for real people trying to get famous right for the most part yeah I genuinely believe maybe this is because I'm a woman and I love to romanticize things, but it's very much. And you can say it again. She is a woman.
Starting point is 00:11:10 That was the wrong button. That was not a joke. Sorry. She's a woman. Oh, now that's the one. And even the buttons pink. I don't know why the joke was.
Starting point is 00:11:20 She's a woman. Drum hit. I'm so sorry. That was, you know what? You had your moment. I hope it was worth it. What was I going to say? Did you get the clicks? Did you get the engagement? Is this all that you had your moment i hope it was worth it what was i gonna say clicks did you get the engagement is this all that you ever dreamt of was it worth it flop yes um what i was gonna say is um it's so romanticized i would like to
Starting point is 00:11:35 think it's real and bachelor nation is so that's what it's called oh wow and i call my nation broski nation okay somebody hit the fucking broski no not that one no sorry broski nation yeah yeah crack a few broskis and real let's settle in yeah for real but i i do think i mean because it's on television none of it can truly be intimate and private and real sure but i want to think so because they make it look so convincing yeah I watched a lot of dating shows during lockdown I don't watch TV though well not
Starting point is 00:12:09 no he loves no but in the beginning of lockdown there's nothing to do I had never seen Rock of Love Flavor of Love
Starting point is 00:12:14 I love New York I'd never seen any of that so I watched Simple Life never seen it Top Model never seen it
Starting point is 00:12:21 you'd never seen America's Next Top Model first season's incredible in high school I didn't have cable I didn't see any of this so like
Starting point is 00:12:27 watching it now hey what's she altered well it's funny she was on I mean we were on Drag Race Drag Race for the first three four seasons was a straight up parody
Starting point is 00:12:34 of Top Model yeah no idea yeah watching Top Model now I'm like oh I mean now I'm like oh Drag Race is like this
Starting point is 00:12:42 Tyra though I mean she have you seen the Tyra Banks talk show? Yeah, bitch, where she's like. A crazy person. The fake fading and shit. The worst host of a television show ever in the history of broadcast television. She was so bad.
Starting point is 00:12:54 I mean, it is fascinating to watch. Yeah, and we can't judge people's. Let's just say that she did things on that show that didn't age well. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, I put on a fat suit. Now I know the plight of the overweight oh girl or the homeless i mean it was it was wild also yeah and also she did not did she do and on her the top model when she would do these bits when she fainted and that yeah was anybody scared me too me too yeah so is too Also during the talk show when she's having the fake seizure
Starting point is 00:13:27 And she has foaming from the mouth And then she attacks an audience member It is I want to hear the producers of that show Because it is fucking crazy Say what you want about Tyra Banks But you cannot say she's not entertaining She is so much an entertainer
Starting point is 00:13:43 Through and through to her bones I saw her at the american influencer award she was presenting after me and i just turned around i thought this is not a read she's so tall i thought she was a drag queen i thought it was the queen because i just saw her silhouette and i walked and i was like okay but she's so beautiful yeah she's stunning she's absolutely stunning i'd never and i watched them she there was a re sort of invigorated interest in the smize because of the mask wearing during COVID
Starting point is 00:14:07 and I truly cannot tell you that it's actually a real thing I actually don't think it's real why are you squinting at me like that all I see is
Starting point is 00:14:16 I see no difference that's giving Jeffrey Dahmer everything for me there's this mama future of drag like this is this that's that's my me, there's this. Mama, future of drag. Like, this is this.
Starting point is 00:14:28 There's a thumb up my butt. That's what you're doing. For the audio listeners, he's just raising his eyebrows. Yeah. I'm sorry, but she very much takes pride in having the credit for this very nuanced and important kind of facial revolution. Can you do it, Brittany? It's just one
Starting point is 00:14:45 of these that's but you have to exactly it's not a smile so there's other words for this yeah so there's bug eyes or there's okay girl she said come to my brand okay okay there's other words for this bug-eyed tiktok bitch balding a big foot bald headed headed. Oh my God. I introduced Katya to this thing that you showed me which is just checking in when you take your pictures.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Oh, you love that. Oh, I did it the other day. I did it the other day. It's so good. I did it the other day. You couldn't see any of my face though. It was all done.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Well, you're not doing it right. We'll do one later. No, no, no. It was the right angle. You should be able to distinguish like part of a pupil and then just mainly nose.
Starting point is 00:15:26 This one will snatch the hair back as far as it goes and have the frame start at the hairline. Yeah, you are so brave. Thank you so much. It's the courage. This is my story. How do you find the bravery to locate the courage to be so vulnerable?
Starting point is 00:15:38 You want to know something? I just came from therapy, so let's get into this. Oh, yeah. I have to make fun of myself. Is it a quick four-hour chunk? Yeah, a quick six hour hey can you just write it's just twice a day it's four hours do they have an um do they have a therapist like on location in the tiktok house by the way it's sarah she's outside sarah shower's door like
Starting point is 00:15:59 anyway me and sarah just two patients trying to like counsel each other. That's all that is. It's mentally ill hour. What'd they say at therapy, if you don't mind me asking? Well, it was just intro. But it was, I very much explained, you know, like the reason why funny people are funny is because you have to make fun of yourself or you've gone through something in order to, you know, that therefore is the gateway for people laughing at you or with you, question mark.
Starting point is 00:16:24 We never know. So that's where it comes from. It's checking in in the forehead thing is so fucking funny because it looks stupid but it's also like i've been called a big forehead tweety bird bitch my whole life your drag name that is your drag name big forehead tweety bird bitch the incomparable the legendary welcome to the stage she's your baby sister she's our baby sister she's everybody's baby sister welcome to the stage the 11 dancing toads of the big-headed tweety bird bitch oh my god oh my god intro shania twain you are very striking though And you Yeah when she When she's in the hair
Starting point is 00:17:06 The cause She's a cosmeceutical witch Thank you girl Yes very good with the makeup Sometimes Very good with the makeup Yeah When I
Starting point is 00:17:13 Well it's It's fun isn't it Cause some people do it For She doesn't like it It's a blast She's just trying to get To point A to point B
Starting point is 00:17:21 How he's been trying to quit drag For the last 10 years I have Point A being Mr. Burns Yeah Point B being point b being streetwalker yeah yeah tangerine bitch but do you like you enjoy putting makeup on i enjoy the process of putting makeup on and i love the transformation you and i've talked about this before we love transforming into a character and it's very fun in that regard but doing every day as a career i understand i understand and i think about it all the time how y'all do it i don't know well so for this uh for
Starting point is 00:17:51 example today we're not filming this obviously but i have um i have a little bit of um psoriasis on my face i'm in a gown uh she's in a gown yeah she's in a pageant i'm fully naked she had me cover uh psoriasis on her face before you got here yeah so this morning i i took a shower hadn't showered about three days and so i took a shower exfoliated moisturized heavily blah blah blah and then i went into the makeup corner of my studio and i tried to cover this unsightly blemish that indicates some level of like skin disease and um i couldn't do it and i have a lot of experience with makeup i've been doing make for 10 years on my face couldn't do it and i i have a lot of experience with makeup i've been doing make for 10 years on my face couldn't do it i came over here in this uh this fucking ghoul and her uh put she puts the brush on and i think you can tell that it's still there so i'm really dissatisfied i can't tell
Starting point is 00:18:34 anything perfect we're like here see oh yeah because you pointed here earlier that's where i never pointed i never pointed if we were really trying to hide it i think we would have done concealer on both sides also i think you got to just put it everywhere right no i do like bare minerals everywhere because right now this cheek is really even and this cheek looks like your normal skin right so this one's more perfect gotcha gotcha gotcha this looks horrible this side is just fucking good decaying horrible now did you put those lashes on yourself or those professionally applied well no when i'm this is strip lash really not she strips in those it's it's when i'm feeling like well because i just got this mullet by accident i asked my talk about it i asked my hairdresser
Starting point is 00:19:16 to cut me some bangs girl she did it all the way around my head she cut me look at how short this is you said you said miley hold on literally i said i'm coming for your brand but it's kind of sickening because when i have the black like line on and i'm giving like you know snatch brow and my lips are done i really like it and i'm you know like all black and like silver jewelry it's really a moment but right now sitting here with you ladies and with my one strip lash kind of half hanging off i'm feeling very much. Well, you smell terrific. Thank you. You smell terrific.
Starting point is 00:19:48 What is that you're wearing? It is a vanilla musk. It smells terrific. It's on Amazon, girl. It's an essential oil. Oh, just an oil? Essential oil. Was that $12?
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah. No, literally, it's like 17 bucks. It's in my purse. It's a little roller. My friend Katie introduced me to it. She said all the strippers at her club wear it. And it's just, it's not water-based.
Starting point is 00:20:07 It's like oil-based. So it stays on all night. I was like, yeah. I think female strippers have better taste in affordable fragrances than drag queens do. Because the drag queens like to wear that pink sugar shit. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I wore that shit. It's because it's cheap. What, Britney Spears or something? No, it's called pink sugar. You get it at the beauty supply stores. It's called pink sugar. It's about 20 bucks on sale at Marshall's too. What, Britney Spears or something? No, it's called Pink Sugar. You get it at the beauty supply stores. It's called Pink Sugar.
Starting point is 00:20:25 It's about 20 bucks on sale at Marshalls too. It's like cotton candy. I wore it for five years straight. And then I graduated to like very expensive perfumes. Top shelf. Top shelf. For meet and greets, right? Like I want to smell it absolutely best I can.
Starting point is 00:20:38 I bought it. I went back and smelled the can of Pink Sugar. Like the cat's ass. It's disgusting. It is disgusting. What does it smell like? Cotton candy, vanilla maybe? Like the cat's ass. It's disgusting. It is disgusting. What does it smell like? Cotton candy, vanilla maybe? Cotton candy and motor oil.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Is it just because you go for like, you want that feminine? You need something strong and quote unquote girly to be, you know what I mean? Cover the balls with. We're in contact with people. I was dancing on people all the time.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Do you know what I mean? And I smell like shit. It's also not perfume. It's body spray. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, this was perfume. Pink sugar? Pink sugar is eau de toilette, baby. Okay. More like belongs in the toilette. Yeah, it is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Belongs in the toilette. Have you ever stuck your nose up a cat's ass? Not recently. No. That's pink sugar. Pride was cancelled. When I... Oh, shit. no that's pig sugar when i when i oh shit it was good no the beauty is any of them work but sometimes it's a read yeah right yeah yeah well shade comes from reading it's like let's give it up for britney who's a huge celebrity and it's like
Starting point is 00:21:43 now see that's funny yeah that's funny it's never not funny yourself what else did you learn in therapy say um well it was a bunch of intros but he definitely was like um you need help yes and um he it's very much behavioral therapy cbt cock and ball torture yes yes did he say you need to stop being up at 5 in the morning? No Are you a late Oh you're one of those people This whore Tell them when you're most creative
Starting point is 00:22:12 My creativity tweaking hours are from 11pm to 4am Sometimes up until 6am And if she'll say 3am she'll say it's time for a bang tutorial And she'll film a video It is and I don't think there's anything wrong with that and I'm feeling a little shamed because you're
Starting point is 00:22:27 you're a bitch ass texting me at 2.35am look at these receipts that does happen yes but I'm drinking you're working that's
Starting point is 00:22:34 you know that's what's normal exactly no it's fun it's fun nobody's awake it's just me and the universe
Starting point is 00:22:40 alone and I'm filming a 70s heritage story yeah and I'm doing a smoky eye. Maybe a little sketchy. I'm a woman. I never walk out here.
Starting point is 00:22:49 You've got them claws. You could scratch somebody's eyes out. I had mace, but they took it at TSA. They took it and made me throw it away. When did you start, because you're kind of a nail claw full time gal. When did you start doing that?
Starting point is 00:23:01 High school. Really? I've got man hands, girl. I've got my dad's hands. I got ting, ting, ting. Right. And and so i was like how do i make this not there i mean i'm looking right now you're a selection of rings on three on each finger your your hands are absolutely stunning and very compelling thank you so much yeah no it's definitely like a mental thing of when i have my nails on i feel very feminine i feel very much um helps the illusion same and i mean 100%
Starting point is 00:23:25 in drag yeah especially when i wear long nails which isn't often but when i wear like a long nail in a video i can't stop like yeah i'm pointing to everything i'm clicking i'm touching i'm like everything is the punctuation the elaboration the it's like it's yeah it's even more and i rarely do it because what like occasion do I have to get dressed up? But gloves. You love to wear gloves. Well, like for the photo shoots and all that, like gloves with rings and the nails on the gloves.
Starting point is 00:23:53 I'm thinking Juno Birch. It's a whole different level of fantasy. Right. Of like an Audrey Hepburn. I had 32 pairs of gloves made in matching fabric yesterday that I received. And I am fucking, I am like nutting in my panties right now.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Are they, how long? They're opera fucking length, almost up to the shoulder. Um, I can't say. Okay. Cause it was,
Starting point is 00:24:16 you know, it was a thing. It was a favor. Paid? It was a favor. We did a favor, but yeah, I'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:24:22 It was like, they, I am so. It's one of those under the table, black market glove gigs. Totally. Drag glove gigs. But yeah, I'll tell you. I am so. It's one of those under the table black market glove gigs. Drag glove gigs. But I mean, because you can't. The first rule of glove club. Don't talk about glove club.
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Starting point is 00:26:09 And we're back. Oh, and we're back. Would you ever go to Dave and Buster's? I don't even know what that is. Brittany and I went to Dave and Buster's once and it was really fun. Is it like Chuck E. Cheese? Yes, but for adults. Chuck E. Cheese.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Meaning? I can go naked. It's Chuck E. Cheese and everyone's fucking. Yeah, everybody's titties out dips out hard dripping wet yeah stopping pussies yeah slug marks on the leather yeah yeah god slipping inside snail trails slug marks she comes out of the ball pit and it's empty her pussy just ate all of them oh my god so i have to tell you guys, I watched them. I downloaded a straight porn last night from a browsers.
Starting point is 00:26:48 You've heard of browsers? I have heard of browsers. Now tell me about downloading. Well, this is, I've been going through on my iPhone. You know how like you, um,
Starting point is 00:26:55 on your iPhone or whatever, you can manage your subscriptions and often you'll sign up for something to get a free trial and you'll forget. That's what they count on. I had signed up for a free trial of, um, I guess browsers or, or Pornhub or something that i wasn't aware i was paying like ten dollars a month for like a year and a half okay so this is what your money's going to people yeah please support my straight porn addiction that i agree that i visit twice a year yeah i've been watching
Starting point is 00:27:20 a lot of straight porn as well but this i they I couldn't believe it. It was a squirting one. Love the squirting. They did a fake out scene like I did on my OnlyFans where they squirted water at this dude's face. It was a close-up, no pussy. And I was like, you dirty dogs. You dirty dog-ass motherfuckers. The secrets of the trade. It was so comical.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Don't bullshit a bullshitter. Yeah, exactly. It was so over the top. I was like, you really want me to continue having this boner knowing that you are just someone's off camera with a fucking turkey baster or like a super soaker. Just squirting the hell out of J-Mac's face. They do it all the time with cum though.
Starting point is 00:27:54 They'll cut to the person. It's like white mayonnaise. And I'm like, girl, that's Neutrogena. I could. It's CeraVe. It's CeraVe. Mama, that's CeraVe. It's CeraVe, bitch.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I could not believe it. I have a question for you. Yes. Have you been famous during like a pride month yet? No. It was virtual. It was virtual in 2020. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:12 I hope you start to get doing prides. Oh, my God. How fun. Imagine Britney like host, do a number. Rake it in the dough. Ain't nobody asking for me to do a number, girl. Oh, just you wait. You doing the Sam Smith version of I Feel Love.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Two Moll's deep wearing a boa and they're like you're not even supposed to be doing a number yeah you're like turning it down well what a shame i brought my own parade float yeah headline and float albuquerque pride when we get ready for it you know there was there was a gig that got canceled um that was a radio thing i was supposed to help in some chicago radio station and i was like i don't know what y'all would want me to do hey here's the next song i'm britney broski do your tiktok thing go ahead be funny dance monkey dance okay that is what it is yeah i hope you get to do some prides because doing outdoor prides is um it's funny because it's called pride
Starting point is 00:29:03 and that's exactly what you lack that day absolutely when you're on a golf cart in the sunlight no pride no dignity it's all about shame and suffering yeah yeah yeah have you been i was um on um in drag in las vegas in um in the summer at noon on meth i believe it can you imagine what the temperature of that situation was like how long i mean genuinely can you do that it's hour-long gigs like hours and hours it's like plus the meat and green uh yeah it's in i don't know there's i haven't ever i've reached the point where it's like you just your body would like'm leaving. You just walk away. I'll say this. You get sweaty. You don't ever look as bad as you think.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Well, no, because it also if like if there are times when I'm actually like on drugs, that's what it's like paranoia as well. Sure. But like I'm always hot, always sweating. If I if everything's cool, I'm like, I know I'm probably sweating, but I like I'm concerned about it. But it's you know, it's not like, it's not amplified by the, you know, whatever, because you know, like you get embarrassed
Starting point is 00:30:08 and then you get embarrassed about being embarrassed. You get more embarrassed. It's so meta. It's fucking crazy. Yeah. Big sweater. It's oh, I'm sweating right now. But you know what too is like, yes, I'm a big sweater
Starting point is 00:30:19 to the point where like you put deodorant under your titties. I have sweat droplets down my stomach and my back. And all my friends are little skinny girls. They're little skinny, tiny girls. Oh, it's a little cold in here. Like anemic. Literally like fucking anemic. And I'm like, Lord, I forgot my fan.
Starting point is 00:30:36 The SeaWorld one with the Mr. Shit. Literally, I'm like an old Southern grandmother. I'm about to have a diabetic coma. Normalize bringing pop fans into every occasion. In West Hollywood, it's not too much of like, oh, look at her. It's like a thing. But if I'm here with the mister that goes around my neck
Starting point is 00:30:54 and the fan that's battery operated, not that. I've been places in drag where I have the fans. It's funny because drag queens have the fans because we're hot. And the gays have them because they're doing what the drag queens are doing. Because it's snatch team on a sis hunting. for us we're like i'm seated at an air
Starting point is 00:31:09 conditioned bar sweating yeah and you guys are just like yeah wouldn't it be crazy if we were hot wearing the two inches of jersey fabric covering half a nipple exactly whole prolapsed with a few ice cubes shoved in it fuck off bitch fuck right off the other day it was we started filming at World of Wonder again
Starting point is 00:31:29 and I tell you they had that bitch like a fucking Minneapolis meat like locker it was good it was incredible well they should know
Starting point is 00:31:37 by now yeah they do know I think they've upgraded their air a little bit they had to because I was like oh my god like my lips
Starting point is 00:31:43 are gonna turn blue in a minute I am having an orgasm it was so fantastic it was so sweat at the house times really yeah of course it's part of it like a performance anxiety but the good kind of anxiety no no absolutely not it's just like those two snowsuits in a fucking fur hat true yeah because she will she'll dab the face and so she doesn't appear sweaty and then when she takes the costume off, it's fucking macaroni in a pot, bitch. It sounds like, it sounds like,
Starting point is 00:32:09 like her, when she takes the costume off and she drops it, it sounds like a fucking octopus hitting the ground. Like, I'm serious. You could take a costume off
Starting point is 00:32:20 and fling it at the wall like spaghetti and it would stick. Oh, yeah, yeah. I could throw that thing into the desert and then fucking like trees would grow it was like so it's disgusting tell her what you used to do when we used to do clubs tell her what you used to do overnight with your costumes oh mary i would have to like every single thing would have to be aired out like every single thing my i could ring out i know this is gross i could ring out my undergarments and they would like i jumped into a pool like i jumped into a pool and there was only i mean she knows about it there's
Starting point is 00:32:52 a there's a bar called oil can harry's in austin texas they we could walk into they had a walk-in freezer right by the dressing room right by the i dream about it's nice it was relief if you're hot coming off stage and you walk into, you're surrounded by beer bottles and just loud, isolated, like 10 degrees. That's the happy place.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Because you have to go out through outside in the Texas heat, you know, it's summertime. You have to go through the outside to get to the stage and it's never,
Starting point is 00:33:21 you know, it's packed, whatever. And it's just like, it's so horrible. But every place should have like a, a walk-in freezer. Everywhere. Texas heat is like the seventh layer of hell.
Starting point is 00:33:31 It is like unbelievable. Yeah. And moving out here, I was like, this people live like this where it's nice. It's so nice here. It's like 78 every day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It's insane. It's incredible. And it's also like for, you know, people who want to do like, you know, the scarves and the jackets and stuff, you know,
Starting point is 00:33:46 spring has like, you know, goes, gets very cold and whatever. Where are you from originally? Texas. Which, which city?
Starting point is 00:33:52 Houston and Dallas. I've got family in both places. Which do you ever go down to S4? I do go down to S4 and Roundup. I miss Roundup so much. I love Roundup. Oh my God. We have to do Roundup sometime.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Brittany and Trixie, we have to host Roundup. You can come trixie we have to host roundup you can come maybe girl we're supposed to kill you with tickets was the roundup roundup cowboy bar well because that's where i went the pad the pad i was in a patch you pulled the patch i was in a pageant at the roundup really it's a cowboy bar i know it's so cute i know did they have the like dancing um they have like a balcony area you can can see. Yeah. That's the roundup. Yeah. Miss gay,
Starting point is 00:34:26 miss gay, whatever, but at least at large or something was there. Love that. Yeah. S4 is fun too, but that's more like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:34:32 that's circuit boys. Yeah. So I like Dallas, Houston. I have the Houston gay scene is very different. Um, it's a little messy. J.
Starting point is 00:34:41 R. South beach. J. R. Wars. Go down to J. R. Wars. Yeah. J. R. Wars. It's very, you've been to South beach. No, I haven't. Oh, you can messy. JR. South Beach Houston. JR's. Go down to JR's.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Yeah. JR's. It's very. You been to South Beach? No, I haven't. Oh, you haven't. Okay. You been to South Beach Houston?
Starting point is 00:34:51 No. That must be part of why you love drag so much. Because I bet you the Texas gays gave you a very early exposure. But you know what? I think y'all forget. I just turned like 23. Like I, the time. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:35:01 Yes. The time, the amount of time that I've gone gone to gay bars, you're not allowed in. I'm 21. I'm twice your age. You're 23. Wow. And we're so similar. So similar.
Starting point is 00:35:11 Yeah, I could be your father or grandfather. But it's very much like in high school, I was not going out. I've always kind of, I've had gay friends. It's all I've ever had. I've never really had straight man friends but when i started going out when i was like legal um i was internet famous so it's very different i've never had no thank well thank god because it sucks but it's so no no no people don't tell you this this is gauche it's so much more fun to go to the gay bars when you're famous you get special seating special special drinks, special everything.
Starting point is 00:35:46 How about this? Performing at a nightclub, at a nude, like the nightclub when you're a freak and not on Drag Race, not famous, people look at you like- Like, look at that freak. Look at that fucking freak. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's- Make $40.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Just show up in drag. No, no, no. Like, do a guest spot number. People don't give you the time of day. Two years later, you've been on Drag Race fucking panties flying through the air screaming
Starting point is 00:36:08 20s 20s screams are on the block I saw Kennedy Davenport at S4 Icon before Drag Race no it was like
Starting point is 00:36:15 well what season was she she was on Y'all Stars 7 yeah in All Stars 3 I saw her probably 2019
Starting point is 00:36:20 yeah that was after Drag Race yeah and she girl it was she's fucking wild it was everything and she's the. Yes. And she, girl, it was, she's fucking wild. It was everything. And she's the Dallas dancing diva of Dallas,
Starting point is 00:36:27 Texas. So it was everything. Yes. It was very fun. But, um, it was like, I got mobbed.
Starting point is 00:36:34 So it was fun, but we had to be like, all right, can you, okay, now we're going to go. Yeah. Because it,
Starting point is 00:36:38 I mean, and drunk gays, I love the drunk gays, but oh my God, girl, I'm trying to have fun. And you're like breathing in my mouth hole. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Can we take a picture? Here's follow me on Instagram. And I'm drunk, so I'm giving my phone out. I follow so many just random texting gays on my Instagram. And I'm sure to this day, they're like, you know, she follows me on Instagram. I don't remember who you are. It's in their bio.
Starting point is 00:36:58 When people tell me to follow them. For what reason? People go, you should follow me. I've had people reason? People go, you should follow me. I've had people on Grindr go, you should follow me. And I say nothing. And then a day later, they're like, question mark. I'm like, yeah, I'm not following you. I don't understand why, though.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Get real. Why would I want to? Oh, because of the cultural cred to your friends and stuff, right? Or whatever. Fucking Britney follows me. Got it. I guess. Well, yeah, acting like we're besties or something.
Starting point is 00:37:22 It's like, I don't know you, girl. Well, I've been the biggest wingman. Like, you know, P-Town, have you ever been to Provincetown, Massachusetts? It's a gay resort town on the coast. You would love it. It's fabulous, yeah. And the amount of times that I've told people that they've gotten laid because they've been wearing my shirt. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:37:40 I mean, so many times. Was the person also hot? Huh? Not necessarily. No, all types. How gross? I mean so many times was the person also hot huh not necessarily no to all types how gross like twinks bear you know
Starting point is 00:37:49 all the whole spectrum of gay yeah honestly if it's a good like icebreaker at least that's what I'm saying yeah yeah I love that
Starting point is 00:37:54 like that's always I've dozens of times honestly I think that's so cool that's worth it better than my technique which is standing in the middle of the gay bar
Starting point is 00:38:01 holding my soft dick going someone it can't get hard somebody anybody it can't get hard unless you hit me yeah i love i love that you're 23 that's cool you're 23 talk about that every interview i've ever had you're a kombucha girl tell me about it i'm all right okay but i imagine that because of the the viral nature of your fame i bet people feel like they could cross boundaries with you that they perhaps wouldn't with julia roberts
Starting point is 00:38:32 let's say oh absolutely well i i had a an academic intellectual discourse about this on my instagram the other day about um i'm not respected right as not only a comedian, not only as a woman, but just as a person because I'm an internet personality. And I'm sure y'all feel that a little bit too. Well, because you're recognized professionally for what you do because you are professionals at what you do. But it's like, it's a joke.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Like your profession is, you know, to a certain extent, a joke and so is mine. So it's like that respect that I think that I deserve as a human being. I'm not afforded. So like when people message me, hey, you fat bitch. I'm like, well, that was me. I'm so sorry. And I accept your apology.
Starting point is 00:39:16 And I said, will you come on the pod today? Yes. And you said, yes, you fat bitch. I don't know why you messaged me from user 4050609 though. Well, that's my main account. Trixie Mattel is my burner. Also, I'm a little resentful. Mortgage lending is not a joke.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I never said it was, girl. You're taking words out of my mouth. You know I used to work in insurance? Did you really? I worked at an insurance brokerage. Get out of town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I worked at a bank for a while.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Did you have to wear like nylons? Yes, business casual. But just nylons. Which is such a good look. No top, just nipple piercings. And oh my God. Do you, is it, could you, like for whatever reason,
Starting point is 00:39:55 if you decided to just like ditch the whole like internet comedy thing, YouTube, everything, could you go back to some kind of professional anonymous life and find some kind of fulfillment? I'd kill myself. No, tell them the story. Oh my God. Tell them the story.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Did you hear my throat just now? Yeah, it was horrible. You make so many horrible sounds when you come in. She comes to my house and she belches like she lives here. I love that. And you know how I feel about body noises. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your editor, he says shit up.
Starting point is 00:40:21 Oh, they love it. And I always, they never cut it out. Tell them the story of what they said to you at work when you got accidentally internet famous oh well i approached my boss and i was like sweet 59 year old southern lady um didn't know what youtube was and i was like okay i'm safe i brought it to her and i was like this is me it's like porn hub she's like oh she's like god i got it um i was like this is me this is the meme i created this but people are taking it and making
Starting point is 00:40:45 other memes out of it so when you see me when I ate ass for the first time it's not little Christian girl me it's somebody else and she was like no that's actually I can understand that's a really good helpful in in explanation because I could see how that would be misconstrued sure that it's me posting all that yeah and so I told her and she was like all right and then a few weeks later she brought me in and she was like you need to decide if you want to be a corporate professional and keep paying your rent or you want to be or eat ass and me when I taste had come for the first time on the internet and I was like well girl of course I'm gonna be a corporate professional um but a few weeks later she was like I found your youtube your tiktok
Starting point is 00:41:23 your instagram your twitter your snapchat she found everything she was miss sleuth wow and um yeah yes what what's her name nancy uh uh grace nancy grace nancy grace i found your snapchat bodies mutilated literally um and it was humiliating because i was posting makeup tutorials at the time and i was you know and she was like you use very nasty language it was humiliating my boss talking to me like that and i was like okay and then a few days later i got fired she was like but she put the reason as i was on my phone too much which technically she's absolutely right you're on everybody's phone too much exactly and she was punishing me for it but um yeah a week later i got my first brand deal and it's been you know like this ever since so fuck you nancy i was i was fired from mac and then whenever i would go back to milwaukee i would go back to that mac store and i would big mistake
Starting point is 00:42:21 buy so much oh just browsing i know i would buy a lot and i'll buy a much shit. I was going to say, just browsing. No, I would buy a lot, and I would buy a lot from every single person I worked with separately, so they all had good sales. That's nice. But I was like, I could buy, you know, I could afford makeup now, so there. Why'd you get fired?
Starting point is 00:42:36 They thought I was stealing. Same for me, and I wasn't. I went on a steal later, but yeah, it's hard. You've been falsely accused of something. It's very frustrating. Oh, yeah. I just think it's funny that they said, frankly, I also, it's hard. You've been falsely accused of something. It's very frustrating. Oh, yeah. I just think it's funny that they said, frankly, I also think it's a little anti-women. You have to imagine if what happened to you happened to a man at that company, I don't
Starting point is 00:42:53 think the fallout would have been as swift. You need to be a corporate professional with no sense of humor or delete your accounts. That's crazy. It is crazy. And it's an invasion of my privacy. Yes. It's your personal life. But I'm not going to go up to my boss and be like fuck you you're you know you're crossing the line between professional and personal i was gonna i literally was like i have to pay my rent
Starting point is 00:43:14 i'll do whatever i have to do yeah but you're very right if it would have been a funny man and he could a little you know witty charisma chatted his way out of it that would have been a totally different thing yeah they would have used him to promote the fucking bank probably. Girl. Yeah. We know, Karen from finance had a deal
Starting point is 00:43:30 where she was the face of like an Australian bank during pride month. See, that's hilarious and like so smart. Wow. But it's like.
Starting point is 00:43:37 She's so ugly. I hope an insurance company scoops you up sometimes and you're like, listen, I've worked in insurance and I can tell you exactly how this goes.
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Starting point is 00:45:12 fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. We are ending towards the end of the podcast. Aww. I thought I would give you guys a moment to talk about Bimini.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Okay. I need to ask you. I need to know. Do you know about Bimini Bond Boulash? Have you heard the good news? It's Bimini Bond Boulash, babes. You know what I mean? Two Bonds and the Bimini don't make a Boulash, but guess what?
Starting point is 00:45:43 They do make a boulash. I fucking, so my appreciation for her started out as a joke. Really? Explain. No, not as a joke. It only, it was shallow appreciation because I said, Bimini, Bambou, Boulash, are you kidding me? That's the fucking best name I've ever heard in my life. It makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:45:58 And I do not want to know the origin story of the name. And then over the weeks, I'm like, I fucking love her. And then now I'm obsessed with her. Oh no. For me i was like oh she's going home when i saw the tape when i saw her fucking tuck tape on the first episode and i was like yeah really girl it's rupaul's drag race put your fucking tuck away it was like that was her one blip and it has been just uphill ever since and it is so oh my god i'm thinking about all of her individual looks and i think she's safe every week and i think that's her secret weapon because she's about to pull it out bitch her amoeba look when she came out with
Starting point is 00:46:34 those white contact lenses speaking of safe did you just see the uh safety pin uh wig she just put it's incredible 10 000 safety safety pin wig yeah Yeah. It's so fierce. She's such a visionary. She's so great. And she's not pretentious. She's not trying to pedal catchphrases. She's not. She's just like being herself. Yes.
Starting point is 00:46:53 She's vibing. She's vibing. Just good vibes only. She's vibing. She's vibing vibes. Thank you. No, literally. I feel like that's a perfect explanation is she is so there for the art form.
Starting point is 00:47:06 It is an art to her and it's very evident. But it's not like her art. No, no, no, no. You know. And it's very much, I mean, you can tell that she loves it. She loves the dancing and the rapping and the... Release the beast. Yeah, she's Sillamy Sansoulash
Starting point is 00:47:21 and she's going to Wimini Mawulash. To the end. I hope you get to a judge drag race someday. Oh, it would be so great maybe they could do some challenge or something yeah like some kind of like mini challenge for socials or something like creating social content how fun yeah yeah you'd be great on the judging panel if you did uk would you do an accent um i would come in full adele cosplay oh that would be great just please don't say hello governor my god do you think british people love it when rupaul does like these super crazy like i think they're they're giggling and
Starting point is 00:47:50 googling because they don't want to be sent home when she comes in when he walks in it's like are they like ha ha ha i'm still funny after all these episodes you know i'm telling you i know for a fact it is the i'm trying to think of the american is it like when michelle wears union jack earrings it's no no it's way worse than that it's way worse i love you michelle but I'm telling you, I know for a fact it is the, I'm trying to think of the American equivalent. Is it like when Michelle wears Union Jack earrings? It's, no, no, no. It's way worse than that. It's way worse than that. I love you, Michelle, but it is crazy.
Starting point is 00:48:10 When Michelle walks into Big Brother UK and she's basically in a Jerry Spice dress. Yes, yes. With Union Jack. Talking about sausage rolls and the tube. Hello! She's like, the tube, sausage rolls. Yeah, it's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:48:23 But Ru doesn't know anything. Except one phrase. One phrase, that's like, pie rock, the tube, sausage rolls. Yeah, it's like, okay. But Rue doesn't know anything. Except one phrase. One phrase, that's like. But you know what's so funny is like, to say that, but like, they know more, Rue and Michelle combined know more about British culture than fucking I do. And that's like supposed to be my thing. They're talking about in 1981,
Starting point is 00:48:40 do you remember this chart topper of the UK? I'm like. Well, yeah, I mean,, Ru is Raymond with pop music. Absolutely. She'll tell you what chart at the top, whatever. I try to think of like, do you get offended when people do like a country accent? No, I mean.
Starting point is 00:48:54 But you're not country. I'm not Southern. But that's Derek. But I mean, I mean, I guess. When I watched Barb and Star, I was like, these aren't Midwest accents. I didn't think they were good. Do you get offended when adults walk in with shitty diapers well i'll see that's my culture
Starting point is 00:49:06 would you what would offend you we're white we can't get offended by nothing come on no i can't truly imagine if um alan carr came here and he walked up to tables an american drag race with like a bag of mcdonald's and a gun yeah. I'm uneducated and hate people. You know, like that would be like, y'all about to be racist. Y'all ready for a deeply divided economy so that the rich can stay completely separated from the poor.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Yeah. Everybody like a broken system. Say, yeah. Hey man, who's getting ready to gentrify. You had those locked and loaded. You've been waiting to say that,
Starting point is 00:49:45 rehearsing it in the mirror. Just all the things I hate about America that I think about a lot. Yes. I have a couple more questions before you go. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. All the way down the street.
Starting point is 00:49:54 It took so long to get here. Who are your beauty icons? Who just makes you want to get up and do the thing? To do the damn thing, Dolly, Amy Winehouse. Dolly Levi? With this. Or Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton. you want to get up and do the thing to do the damn thing dolly amy winehouse um dolly with this dolly parton dolly the sheep actually the genetically engineered sheep that's your drag name dolly the genetically engineered sheep sexy and scientific baby yes you want to share this pussy? You want to share this pussy?
Starting point is 00:50:28 Like, mom, I'm so sorry if you're listening. Oh, please. We said it, not her. Yeah. She was horrified. But yes, I love, you know what, what my, my, uh, how about this? Gaggiana. Sorry. Jail. Sorry, the police just arrived. Federal prison. Yeah, federal prison um a beauty mark police i love a beauty mark i love a i think it's so cute and i love when queens incorporate that into their look it's like yes because it's art but it's also like a real face yeah a mole or a
Starting point is 00:50:59 freckle i learned from this is not a read shay used to have difficult like skin when we were doing drag and she taught me when you have a pimple, you just put a little, and now it's a birthmark in drag. It's so cute. Oh my God. I love it, I love it, I love it. I just put my rosacea, I just make it like a port wine stain. Oh, I wanted to ask you this earlier.
Starting point is 00:51:17 Is it rosacea or is it psoriasis or eczema? It's psoriasis. Okay, because I have eczema. Yeah, I- Family genes. Actually, when I was fired, the only time I had, it was just coming from the dermatologist and it was psoriasis. I was shocked though because usually psoriasis is pretty like, it's a nuisance to say the
Starting point is 00:51:35 least. But I have, it's light. Tim Kardashian has psoriasis. I know. I had that yesterday. How about that? Yeah. You feel a little left out?
Starting point is 00:51:43 Yeah. How about that? But it's on my face. Like you can't see it around my asshole, which is fine. But like it's all on, yeah. but it's on my face like you you can't see it around my asshole which is fine but like it's all on yeah when it's on my face it's a problem girl over the summer i had um acute dyshydratic eczema oh you should kill yourself how do you know that is it little bubbles yes how do you know that dyshydratic dyshydratic it was these little bubbles on my trigger warning i, on my hands that were, they would explode and they itched
Starting point is 00:52:07 and burned like a motherfucker. I've done them before. Yes. And they, it transfers between fingers. It's fucking disgusting. Is it like poison ivy kind of? It's teeny little clear bubbles on your skin. I'm going to throw up all over you.
Starting point is 00:52:19 And it's painful and gross. And they itch. Yes. You're sure it's not poison ivy? No, it was a cute dishydratic eczema and I had an ointment. You itch them, they your shirt's on poison ivy no it was and then they dishydotic eczema and i had an ointment it's them they pop and then they sting perfect and they spread yes and i had just fucking worked at the bank i just got in the bank job and i was hi how are you hi how are you band aids all over my fucking fingers with with felt like a leper set acrylic set looking like goddamn
Starting point is 00:52:43 jason vorhees going to the mall. And I have served it, girl. Would you fuck Jason Voorhees or Freddy Krueger? Neither, but do you remember this whole discussion about Ted Bundy being hot? I don't entertain those kind of notions. But Freddy Krueger is fine. They're not real, Mary. Girl, to you.
Starting point is 00:53:01 That's Charles Manson. Charles Manson was kind of cute. Ted Bundy was, I mean, listen, that looks like Bryan Cranston. He was a very attractive person. He couldn't have been that. girl to you that's charles manson this is charles manson was kind of cute ted bunny was i mean listen that looks like brian cranston he was a very attractive person he couldn't have been that sick of a predator if he wasn't charismatic and like absolutely and luring people like you can't be that guy from trailer park boys with the big glasses and be and be like i want to get in my car no one's gonna get in your car mary well speak for yourself believe me i've tried i also don't have a car so i'm also inviting people to a car i don't have do you want to walk side by side to back to my house where i'll kill you
Starting point is 00:53:30 my other question is when did you know you were beautiful oh well you've never told me so i haven't i dm'd you hey fat bitch yes you did yes i did no i um you know what it's a how about this it's a gradual learning process because i used to be you know in high school you're a little self-confident or self-conscious to a certain extent in college i really blossomed both like into a woman sexually found out my aesthetic that i was going for and then I became a functioning member of society was miserably depressed and my self-confidence kind of but being online now is like I have so many nice people beyond all the hate comments you know whatever um I have a lot of nice people and it's um it makes me feel good I mean you know post a little selfie always makes you feel good
Starting point is 00:54:20 when they're like yes yeah so yeah I feel like um it has to come it has to come from within because it does because if you listen to whatever what are you about to say no i was like of course it does well yeah because if you're solely relying on the opinions of others for your self-worth you'll never be satisfied and i'll leave you with that is that something you want well let me tell you you're never gonna going to get it. It's true. Yeah. And also, I always rest on like, even super hot people think they're like horribly fat and ugly and whatever. Nobody, you know, the grass, the grass is never green. No.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Grass ain't green anywhere. It's dead. It just looks green. Yeah. From the other side. Dead and brown and I had shitted on it. Yeah, exactly. And I'm eating that shit, gobbling it up.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yeah. Looking at the other side. Is it greener over there yeah it's it's really true i interviewed um lauren gray if y'all know who lauren gray is nope gray's anatomy no close uh she's a really young tiktoker she was on musically like think of like the beauty standard it's lauren gray and i talked to her and i was like what's the hardest part of you know your day of what you do in a day and she was like, what's the hardest part of your day, of what you do in a day? And she was like waking up
Starting point is 00:55:27 and like seeing myself in the mirror. Like the most beautiful person you can think of. She was like, I pick myself apart. I hate my nose. I hate my hair. I hate this, that. And I'm like, Lauren Gray, you're beautiful. It's so like, I don't want to say comforting,
Starting point is 00:55:41 but it's validating to a certain extent to hear some of the most beautiful people be like, God, i could change everything you know like to what yeah to what from what yeah yeah well they need to discover plastic surgery well we're in the hot spot you think i'm not getting botox the minute i turn 25 it's like sometimes that we talk about like the impossible ideals but the fact that the ideals are impossible should also just be sort of like you said reassuring yeah i mean i love i i really appreciate being like uh sort of inhabiting various parts of the middle realm you know what i mean i just don't middle earth yeah middle earth sorry yeah hobbit land um you know looking like um like an orc is um very comforting to me because- That's a fetish. Also, well, it's like we have our worst selves and especially doing drag and hair and makeup and stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:31 We have our best selves. And we know that the truth is somewhere in the middle. Right, right. We have access to like, because when you work in makeup or you're a performer, if you've ever played any kind of character, then you're not a fucking like uh knuckle dragging dummy you know that it's all just an illusion and and whatever you can't get it and it's also
Starting point is 00:56:51 also changing absolutely like the cat's ass today and like look semi-fuckable tomorrow well and well even with beauty standards if you want to talk about like in the 50s meryl monroe and then in the 90s it was boy body you know like supermodel boy body and then now it's kim kardashian it's like it'll always ebb and flow yeah so i don't know i feel really bad for these young like i see on tiktok all the time 17 18 year olds getting brazilian butt lifts jesus and like literally getting like fat taken out of somewhere and putting it into the sides of their hips they need to put it in their neck ham Ham hock. Support your head. Ham hock neck. Every necklace can become a choker.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Thank you. You know, the less distance there is from your chin to your shoulders, the happier you'll be, mama. Says who? Me. And science. Hello. We're changing the beauty standard. One.
Starting point is 00:57:42 There's an unrealistic beauty standard. Yeah. Having a neck like a tire one stump at a time yeah yeah scarves skin scars mama skin scarves okay love yourselves britney where can people find you you can find me at britney underscore broski would you please spell that b-r-i-t-t-a-n-y underscore b-r-o-s-k. You sure can. And you can check out your new podcast, the official TikTok podcast. Yes, please check out,
Starting point is 00:58:08 it's called the For You Podcast, the official TikTok podcast. We interview guests every week, talking about their experiences on TikTok, how it's affecting change, affecting culture. And it's a good old time. Come check us out.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Will you please have the Dream Team on in Russia? No. Okay. What type of content do they make? Can describe it in two words hit song hit song i'll play it for you it's a fucking bop really yes they make music yeah they're dancing no mama hit song okay period okay yeah a song to get hit too yeah it's It's called partying wildly. Absolutely. Okay. Brittany, I love you. I love you.
Starting point is 00:58:50 You're one of my best friends. Isn't that sad? It's a song. It's not. My heart still flutters a little bit when you text me, hey, bitch. Just say, what are you doing, bitch? I'll be like, what are you doing right now, cunt? I'm like, I'm naked in my bed crying. Get those claws out of your pussy and come over here and hang out. I'll text her a drop of a hat like, can we just go out right now, cunt. I'm like, I'm naked in my bed crying. Get those claws out of your pussy and come over here and hang out.
Starting point is 00:59:06 I'll text her a drop of a hat like, can we just go out right now? She's like, I'm literally in the middle of working. I'm like, ugh, you never make an effort. If I get the whim to go out and she doesn't say yes, I'm like, this fucking friendship is so one-sided. Will the abuse ever stop?
Starting point is 00:59:23 No, it won't. Stay tuned. Goodbye. Will the abuse ever stop? No. Stay tuned. Goodbye.

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