The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica with Katya (Part 1)

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

MEN SEEKING MERMAID/MERMAN (Pacific Ocean Adjacent): Here for a naughty-cal time with sexy sirens of the sea. We are two fit & fabulous drag queens, one folically-challenged (Katya) and one with a glorious mane (Sapphira), seeking wet and wild night with sensual seafarers turned on by promiscuous pirates. Must have functioning fish genitalia and be DTF with land-dwelling homo sapiens. Tolerance for fish badussy strongly recommended. (ability to speak on land a plus) Please send juicy pics of your driftwood and/or mariana trench to: "buckets_of_seamen@if_the_boat_is_rocking.org" (Part 1 of a 2-part interview!) Achieve the zen of being regular and feel the difference daily with Ritual’s Synbiotic+. Get 25% off your first month at https://Ritual.com/BALD Happy squatting! Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code BALD at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! Try VIIA today! Head to: https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off! Take more control of your finances and stop waiting for payday. Open your Chime account in minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress. Follow Sapphira: @SapphiraCristal Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: http://bit.ly/baldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatya.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Hello, my name is Katya and I have an interesting factoid that I'd like to share with all of you. All human beings poop. From my producer's dog Luna to my neighbor Mortimer to every A-lister in Hollywood, they all have pooping in common. And let's be honest people, don't you feel your best when you poop on a regular basis? With Synbiotic Plus from Ritual, you can finally throw away the stress of having a bathroom emergency at the worst possible time and find the inner peace and tranquility you've always been searching for by pooping predictably. What is Synbiotic Plus?

Well let me tell you about this little piece of science that will make your BMs the stuff of legend. It's a 3-in-1 clinically studied pre-, pro-, and post-biotic containing strains LGG and BB12 that supports healthy regularity. Plus, it's vegan-friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors. Be like me and poop on the regular before leaving the house to conquer the world gas-free. Climb back on that porcelain throne and make me proud, people.

Feel the difference daily with Ritual Synbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's 25% off at ritual.com slash bald. Happy squatting. So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir. I'm keeping it simple. Starting small. That's trading on Kraken. Pick from over 190 assets and start with the 10 bucks in your pocket. Easy. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice.

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On eligible cards, terms apply. Learn more at mx.ca. Hi, Divas. As you know, Tritzy is on break, so I'm solo here on the podcast to tell you that we are bringing you more Baldin and Beautiful Live shows this fall. That's right, we're going to be in Baltimore,

Providence, Columbus, and a whole bunch of other East Coast cities that I don't have on the script in front of me. But all tickets and info will be at TrixieAndKatiaLive.com. So get your panties in check for the best damn podcast you've ever seen. ["Trixie and Katia Live"] So get your panties in check for the best damn podcast you've ever seen. Okay, welcome back to another riveting episode of The Bald and the Beautiful.

I'm Bald and she's beautiful. Please welcome, Safira Kristal. Hello, hello, hello. How are you? Oh, blue! I'm in blue, yes. Oh, that makes sense. And I'm like white and red.

White, red in blue. Yes. Oh that makes sense And I'm like white and red White red and blue We're America or France or Russia or Thailand. Wow, is that that's got to be the most I Wonder is it the most written? Yes, is it the most frequent? Australia? Combination? Yeah. Yeah. Don't say no. But I'm just in flags, like just solid block colors. Yeah, probably so. Red, white and blue is probably the most common.

It's a big combination. Russia and France. Blue, white and red is France. Blue, blanc, et rouge. And then I forget what Russian is. You can say however you want, it's still red, white and blue. Thank you. This body bleeds red, white and blue. Baby, every day. Blue lives matter. It's blue inside.

Did you know that? The blood is blue inside. And then when it comes out, it's- The word is oxygenated. And then when you first open, it's white. Open what? You know, like if you cut somebody to the white meat, you ever heard of that?

Cut them to the white meat? Cut them to the white meat show? You heard of that, yeah you cut somebody to the white meat. You ever heard of that? Cut them to the white meat? You know, cut them to the white meat show? You heard of that. Yeah. Cut them to the white meat show? Yeah. Maybe it's a black thing. I don't know.

Or an ethnic thing. Does ethnic mean black? You know, apparently, no, no, it means not white. Which I would think that you wouldn't think that because all people are some ethnicity. But white people have decided that ethnic means not white. Yeah, there's white and ethnic. There's like white or Hispanic and non-Hispanic.

Yeah, that I don't understand. That's ethnicity, right? Yeah. All these questions like the senses, the questionnaires, the like, would you like to, would you like to share your, uh, information about yourself? It's always race and ethnicity is like, and then I don't want to share. Yeah. I don't like not, I don't identify as any of that.

I don't need you to know any of these things about me, baby. There was a, there's this dude who wrote a book called white, I think. And, um, talking about like the white as the regular and everything else, like you just said, is ethnic. Yeah. But like, so wild. It's interesting to me because I think that the regular is actually black

because the original was black. So white all of a sudden is white, the regular. The OG is black, we've already decided that. Well, I think because Santa Claus is white, Jesus is white, and Ariel is white. That's why people think it's regular. They're all well I guess Jesus wasn't necessarily black. No he was. Who knows? He was like he looked Swedish even though he lived in the Middle East. You know I isn't it well I still think about the Ariel must be white, the Ariel the mermaid. That whole online or the controversy that to me is so fascinating.

Well, I think that, you know, when people are so used to seeing a white girl, and they go, well, that's who she is, she's a white girl. Well, she wasn't a girl, she was a mermaid. She was a mermaid. With a cartoon. With a fish pussy. Well, no, she didn't have a pussy.

Come on, let's not get crazy. She had a fish pussy. No, no, no, we're talking about, no, no, that's, she didn't have no fish pussy. You think she didn't have a fish pussy? I never saw it. Well he saw her from the, the prince saw her from the thing and said,

ooh, I want to get in that. I want that white fish pussy. Fish pussy. I want to get in that white fish pussy, baby. If there's anything I want, it's that white fish pussy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you, would you give up your voice to have, I wanna get in that white fist pussy baby. If there's anything I want in that white fist pussy. I'm gonna eat it.

I'm gonna eat it. I'm gonna eat it. Would you give up your voice to have a mermaid tail? Hell no. Would you give up your voice to have legs? If you had a tail? Well if I gave up my voice to have a mermaid tail, then I'd have to give up my dick.

No, no, no. You got a white, you got a, sorry, black fish dick. And black fish pussy. Not to be confused with black snake bone. Do I get both? Absolutely, but you gotta give up the voice. To give up my voice though, no, I like my voice. It's so much fun.

What if you had, you could speak, but the sound that people heard was like Danny DeVito or like, you know, Megan McCain or something. It wasn't your voice, somebody else's voice. No. No. No. I'd stay me. Okay.

I love being me. It's something I always say to people like, I really love being me. It's cunty. It's really cunty and it's kind of one of those things that kind of pisses people off but. Self-esteem is a real divisive issue these days. It's really crazy.

You know, be your own best friend. That's what I always say. Well, nobody can love you the way you can. You have to be the first one. It's true. If anyone else is going to, you've got to be the first one. Well, right. I was thinking about this,

because you know that thing that RuPaul always says, because if you don't love yourself, then you don't know how you want to be loved. So then how can you accept love? And you have to teach people how to treat you. Yeah, that's we have to guide their hand while they're jerking you off. Yes. Yeah. Typically, I I usually guide their face, but you know,

do you do like jerk off instruction like I don't like it when people touch me. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I prefer to just insert myself and do all the work myself. That's what you've got. You've got your I feel like this is a very blue collar. There's no collar. I know, but it's like, you're here to work. I'm here to work.

Work, work, work. That's right, baby. I'm gonna work that. Okay, let me try to be focused for once in my life because I really wanna talk about fucking, I really wanna talk about your season of Drag Race and I guess I didn't realize, I'm a little ashamed to say I didn't realize

up until today. That I was on the show? No, I had no idea. No, the level of drag in general of course has gone up insanely, but the level of drag on your season in particular is mind blowing. It's mind boggling in particular is mind blowing. Yeah. It's mind boggling.

Yeah. It's mind bending. It was air bending. Hello, it's cash heavy. Depleting. Yeah, it's savings depleting. Maybe gone. For mortgage, reverse mortgage foreclosure inducing.

Yes, honey. Like, what the fuck? Where do y'all get these outfits? Where, why? And the question is, where are you gonna wear it afterwards? Well, that is, that's why they need to do a rent the runway for Drag Race, you know what I mean? I mean, you wanna win and unfortunately,

the girls come so hard every single season and you know they do it and you have to step it up every season you can't go and you know wear what's-her-name-fashionova anymore. Do you think that do you... But apparently you can. I was gonna say in your opinion do you think it is even remotely possible for someone to walk into Drag Race regular season with a wardrobe with a very modest and I'm talking let's just say boo boo like a boo boo wardrobe and get like to have any success mostly based on their

talent yes you think it yes if they're exceptionally so funny they've got to be super fun They got to be able to surpass all that. Yeah, and there are girls who can do that Unfortunately, you also need to be able to at least so you know what I mean? Like you could you could come in with the with a modest because I saw girls even who Weren't really great in sewing but they had a great runway. But unfortunately, that one challenge gets the girls every single time. Yeah, I can sew pretty well.

I sewed one of the most horrible things ever seen on Drag Race, then went home because of it. So like, you know, it all depends. But I mean, I just think it's a little bit, I mean, for the viewer, God, it's like a feast for the eyes, like the Met Gala every episode. But for the wannabe contender, the future contestant, what the fuck?

Who do you? Some girls take out loans. It is what it is. Where? How? I don't know. I didn't do that. I just saved my money.

I was a successful drag queen before I was a drag queen. Yeah, that's what I mean. I want to talk a lot about that because we've known each other. We have known each other for a long time. And I knew you way before you're on the show. Before I was successful. Before you're on the show. And we worked together at Jacques Cabaret.

Do you remember how long we worked together? We worked together for about three or four years. Yeah. And we knew each other for like the entire time. A couple years before that. No, I think I met you when I got there. So, and I started working there fairly soon after I moved to Boston.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. When you have talent, you just got it. See, that's the thing, because we didn't have a lot, looking back at the days of Jacques Cabaret, we did not have also I won't speak for you but I'll speak for myself I did not have amazing costumes they were all trash girl what all the wigs were ratty they were all hard front it was back before this

this thing I mean we would get shit from rainbow and tellows, all that seal. Dorothy's Dorothy's stolen. Boosted, lifted, gifted, donated, donated from Nordstrom. Yeah, I mean, it's like the I was looking at pictures and there's a great picture. Thing about you, though, is that you always looked good. Your face card was always there. And there's a picture of us where it's got to be 10 years ago. I look 45 and you look 25 because I was 20.

I know you were 20 something and I look like so old, so haggard. And we both have crunchy wigs and just like stretch dresses. Is it the face? Face card is just thank you. It was funny because I remember Chris Knievel would always say, I watch you paint and you put so much makeup on and like I would like, I would beat my face in these like, like just so much powder and everything. And she'd go, and then I'd turn around

and you'd look beautiful. And I just, I don't understand how you do that. Ha ha ha. ["Rituals of a Human Being"] This episode is brought to you by Ritual. Hello, my name is Katya and I have an interesting factoid that I'd like to share with all of you. All human beings poop. From my producer's dog Luna to my neighbor Mortimer

to every A-lister in Hollywood, they all have pooping in common. And let's be honest people, don't you feel your best when you poop on a regular basis? With Synbiotic Plus from Ritual, you can finally throw away the stress of having a bathroom emergency at the worst possible time and find the inner peace and tranquility you've always been searching for by pooping predictably. What is Synbiotic Plus? Well let me tell you about this little piece of science that will make your BMs the stuff

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to view the feathered nobility of these majestic birds, it's because I want to and not because my distended belly looks like an alien is about to burst out of it. Instead, I can now attend all of the trendy disco cowgirl parties in Echo Park. All thanks to Rituals' Synbiotic Plus. This daily 3-in-1 prebiotic, probiotic, and postbiotic features two of the world's most clinically studied probiotic strains to support gut and digestive health. It's designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach, an ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow. All it takes is one daily mint scented capsule for simple, streamlined gut support. Plus, it's vegan-friendly and

formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors. Be like me and poop on the regular before leaving the house to conquer the world gas-free. Climb back on that porcelain throne and make me proud, people. Feel the difference daily with Ritual Synbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash bald. That's 25% off at ritual.com slash bald. Happy squatting! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

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It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash bald today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash bald. I mean, do you remember, did you ever see Misery paint? In a split second, mama, she would come on to, this is one of my favorite stories.

I remember one time Misery came in to the room. The show had already started. Oh, absolutely. The show had already started. Absolutely. She came into the room, no makeup, nothing on. She sat down, one person went on, I went on, I came back, she was ready to go on stage.

That is less than 10 minutes that she was full drag. And not just her face. No, no, no, the whole outfit. Pads, pantyhose, fishnets, hair, shaper, costume, no, the whole outfit. Yeah, panty pads, pantyhose, fishnets, hair, shaper, costume, hair, boots. She usually had nails already or something. Yeah, her nails are done. Always an earring.

Always an earring. Definitely always an earring. Glued on. Yeah, super glue. Ouch. Yikes. A bus driver wig, though. No. Yes. Not that one. Oh, sometimes, right. She would do the thing, the snatch up and because she had. That's right. She would braid her. Sometimes she would do the snatch. Because she would do the thing, the snatch up and Because she had That's right.

She would Braid her hair and She had braids and then she would do the Kennedy, like Kenny Davenport does, the giant Texas dancing hair. Yeah, yeah. It was like five ponytails all teased, sewed together and teased out. People need to realize what you just said.

We're gonna say it again. So, Misery, the show would start at 10.25, the overture would go on. Overture's five still not there still not 1030 Chris goes out for the monologue She's still not there As Chris is finishing up the monologue in Getting ready to bring on the first entertainer misery still not there. Okay, she walks in as the first entertainer First entertainer goes on for a six minute number. Misery is, like you said, not in drag.

I think the time that I was there, the time that I got there, it wasn't even a six minute number. It could've been me, but the four minute number. She, I mean, she just busts through the back door in this cloud of dust, because that backstage is horrible. And she just, she knows exactly what to do.

And she wears a lot of makeup. A lot. So she'd have a, she would do a big eyebrow. She would do a black crease, usually blended out with purple, and then like maybe a shimmer highlight. Yeah. And then, but the funny thing about Misery

is that over the course of the evening, she would add more makeup. So like by the third number, she had a glitter lid, bottom lashes. Shimmer on the face. How does she look like Iman? It went from like, I mean, sometimes- From Grace Jones to Iman.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was so, to me, that was this most stressful thing to witness, but also it was like kind of inspiring. It's inspiring, and it gives you like, sort of like, oh, this is not that hard. No. We think way too hard about this thing.

Yeah. I remember when Fina would always ask me to come and do the show downstairs, it would be probably last minute, and I would get there right before the show started because I was like, oh, I didn't know this was happening until just now. And I, she, my favorite thing about Finna,

she'd go, you're first. You're just kidding. You're first. Punishment. So I would go, punishment for what? Being late? I wasn't late. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you for some reason in my mind, you're like you, she, she books you last minute.

You show up like, um, last minute because she booked me last minute. So wait, your first is a good thing. No, she's like your first girl just because I'm first and I'm like, okay, I guess I gotta put this place on. But the face was always there. And I did that with the Houston number every single time and it popped every single time. I feel like that was sort of like the boot, what do they call it? Not boot.

Oh, I know what you mean. The school, like not school, boot. Hard knocks? No. Boot camp. Boot camp. That was like boot camp. Boot camp. That's like boot camp of drag for me. Like being in Boston, honestly, if you,

they didn't really try and give girls opportunities the way that they do right now. Like the way that the girls are really, like when they were younger, the younger girls are really able to do mini shows in Boston right now. I went there and I was like, oh, these are all kids. Really? Like, yeah, it are all kids. Really? Yeah.

It's not a lot of like the old school girls like it used to be. Like when I was in Boston, it was like, if you thought you were going to work at Jock's. Mama, like check that. Pull out the license. Are you under 55? Get the hell out of here. Get out of here. Like you're right.

It was like, you want it. It's like, mama, get in line. Melinda Wilson's 175 years old and she ain't going nowhere No, no crystal Crawford 672 not going anywhere misery age undetermined No one will know and Chris Knievel again aarp not really not really but it was I think I was always the youngest one there at like 35

Yeah, no, you were definitely the youngest one there. Looking 45. You and, and... Dina, Dina. You and Fina. Destiny and I are the same age. Destiny might be like one month older or something. Yeah.

Not a lot of young blood in that show. Ooh, baby. Especially, especially the Saturday, the Friday Saturday show. Oh, honey. Yeah, although that doesn't, that didn't necessarily mean it was a bad show. No, it was a great show. Oh, honey. Yeah, although that didn't necessarily mean it was a bad show. No, it was a great show.

That's the reason why they didn't let the young blood in there because they had a, it seemed like they had this sort of- If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Well, y'all don't know what you're doing yet. You're not here yet. You're not professional. You're young, you're still learning.

And luckily, at some point, I think you, you definitely gave me more chances than anyone, and you haven't had me in Player of Strika. And then I think eventually Fina was like, yeah, you should come and do this show. Your Whitney is really great. And we did a lot of impersonations in this show. And so it was just like, eventually someone,

there was a, someone saw it for me. But- So now that you've basically gone on record saying that I gave you all your success, or that I am the one responsible for you getting on Drag Race and succeeding so much, what do you think is a, what are you gonna do for me? Did I say that?

Just kidding. I feel like I didn't say that. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. But you know, I could think of some things to do for you. We could go on a walk and have a little time. We could get a nice lunch. We can get a lunch. I'll take you to lunch.

Sure. You want to go to Ruth's Chris? Ruth's Chris Steakhouse! Wait a minute. Ruth's Chris. What the fuck is that? I don't know. What is a Chris? Why does Ruth have a Chris? What's up with Ruth's Chris?

How's that better than any other normal Chris? I think if you're owned by someone named Ruth. It's like, is that Chris? Is that, oh, that's Ruth's Chris. That's Ruth's Chris. He's got the steakhouse. He's got the steakhouse. It's like, is that Chris? Is that, oh, that's Chris. That's Ruth's Chris. He's got the steakhouse. He's got the steakhouse. It's like, this is the weirdest fucking thing ever.

Yeah, we can go to Ruth's Chris. Back to Steakhouse, back to Drag Race, or back to Jogs, rather. So yeah, and also Norelle Gardner. She gave me my spot. Norelle. Just like you were talking about, she gave me my little like chance in the,

Chris Torrelli the the bartender Torlini Love her, but she was like a very jocks always Oh my God. Love her. But she was like a very, Jocks always, Jocks was a strange vortex where it was kind of like a bizarro world. Where they were like, all like,

oh my God, it was just such a bizarre place. I went back. You did. Oh, so like every time I go to Boston, I like, you know, I walk, you know, I go to, you know, get some oysters, cause that's what I like to do. And we ended up going to Jocks every time. And every single time it's just like, it is this like,

but it's still the same. Yeah. And it's wild to go to a place that is the exact same. Same tinsel on the curtains. Same tinsel on the curtains. I think they took all the pictures down though. Oh really? All the old pictures of the girls.

Those are all gone. I couldn't, I didn't even know. It's just like, it's a very, I mean, obviously for me and you, it's such a very particular place and it's like cheers from hell. You know what I mean? It's like the hell. Oh, I went there and they were like, It's so dark.

I know you, right? And I was like, it's me, Safira. Oh, hey girl, good to see you. And it's like, sometimes I'm like, well, I am significantly larger than I was when I lived in Boston. And so, like, sometimes I'm like, well, I am significantly larger than I was when I lived in Boston. And so, like I was probably around 150 and I'm about 100 pounds more.

I weigh 250 pounds now. And it's just like, they see me. And someone has also said, oh, you, there's a lot more of you today. No way. I love that shit. Lot more to... Okay. Um... Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss commenting about weight that American culture does, they're like, oh, hey, so you got fat, you got really fat. Like that kind of thing is like not,

doesn't have the same, how dare you, like that we would have here. In my, so my dad's have Thai and half Mexican, and my mom's black. And we, I grew up with a very much like that kind of, you're getting fat, so you should do something about it. They'll like poke your belly and stuff. That's just something I always grew up with.

And so like coming into the world where people don't do that. Yeah, they're like, they're like, oh, how dare you talk about my weight? Or why are you talking about your weight so much? I was like, I don't know, I just, I don't know. It's just something I grew up with. I'm bigger than I was once and and now I'm fine with it.

I still get laid just as much as I did, if not more. I was gonna say probably more, especially with Ruth's Chris hanging around. Baby, Ruth's Chris is always hanging up on this hanger stake the game. Well, Chris Knievel is pretty great. But that's Chris with a K. That is Chris with a K. Very important distinction that you might not, we have to make on the podcast if you're listening. Ruth's Chris is a CH Chris.

CH. Chris Knievel is a K Chris. That's, but Chris is a Chris. If you're listening. I'm sorry, I'm not going to yes and you on that one. I'm not going to yes and you on that one. I draw a line in the sand. There's a CH and if you're listening. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna yes and you on that one. I'm not gonna yes and you on that one. I draw a line in the sand. There's a CH and there's a K. Yeah, two Ks.

We don't want too many Ks. No, we don't. We don't want that. You know, in fact, when I'm one of the challenges when I was on Drag Race, I wanted to call my thing Kacch's Crisis Control with three Ks. It took me a very long time to realize

that the Ku Klux Klan is also KKK. Too long, a little too long. It took you too long to do that. Not too long. I said Boston. Yeah. Boston's still racist as ever, guys. Oh yeah, it didn't change.

Philadelphia's a close second in terms of racism, nationally I would say. I don't know, because Philadelphia actually has more black people per capita. It's actually, it's 40, 46% black. Do they let them live in the city, unlike Boston? No, they actually are all in the city, and the white people live around.

Oh, fears, okay. Yeah, there's like, I think there's 40, there's more black people than any other people in Philadelphia. Okay, I love Philadelphia. Yeah, I love Philadelphia. Philadelphia is just a place full of real ass bitches. You know what I mean?

That's kind of why I stayed there and have lived there for so long. It's just full of people who just get it, they don't care to pretend like things are different than they are. They just sort of like, yeah, we like this. And if you, I think one of the things that my ex, my ex fiancee used to say is if the difference between New York and Philadelphia is that in New York, they'll talk shit.

Okay. And in Philadelphia, they'll punch you in the face. Fierce. Like they don't have time for the talking shit part. Yeah, they got to get to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. They're hungry. They got to get to Tony Luke's, honey. And they got to get those, those cheesesteaks. Cheesesteaks. I don't, that's the thing. I don honey. And they gotta get those cheesesteaks. Cheesesteaks.

I don't, that's the thing, I don't love the cheesesteaks. I don't, well, you got the wrong one. So this is the thing. I don't like cheese. So if you don't want cheese, you don't have to get it. But you get a cheesesteak without the cheese? You just get a steak. A steak sandwich.

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about Jocks for them to care. But so. I mean, we could go back to us. I know. We've known each other forever. So what year do you reckon would be the first time performed in my little monthly? 2010.

Okay, 2010. 2010 is the first time we met. I remember you came into the back of Jock's. I was performing in Sunday dinner show with. Raquel Blake. Raquel Blake. Yes. And you came back and I thought, oh my God, he's so cute.

And you were in full drag. And I was like, I'm like one of these people who like really, I... Are you some kind of non-binary gender queer? Well, yes. Well, yes. Well, yes. But I just saw you in drag and I was like, oh my God.

And this is before I was like, even I could be like, ooh. I was like, under that makeup, he's really cute. Like I could, I was into it. And then we just became friends. I remember we hung out with me, you and Becca. We went out to get some. Did we get hot pot? Hot pot.

It was like hot pot or some noodles somewhere. Yeah. Somewhere in Chinatown. And that's when we first like started hanging out. And then, then eventually I was in Becca's show at Cherry. Cherry. That's right. And then when Becca left, she left it to me

and she gave it to me. When Becca was deported, excuse your mouth. When they took my friend from me. When they took our friend. They took our baby away. They took her away. They did. She was deported.

She did not leave. No, she didn't leave. They took her, she was taken in the night. I don't think it was in the night. It was during she was taken. She knew for quite a while that she was leaving. No, just because you leave. They took her. She was taken in the night. I don't think it was in the night. It was during she was taken. She knew for quite a while that she was leaving. No.

Just because you know you're going to die doesn't make the death any less sweet. You know what I mean? Like it was, that was a real... Yeah, that was real rough. That sucked. It really did. She wasn't... our friend who was a Singaporean was not able to find employment after being let go from her job.

Thus her visa was in jeopardy and she was not able to, she was deported. And it's sad because you know, she really was. It's like my best fucking friend. I don't like that, that term seems so high school-y, but like. Yeah. She was really sickening and just a sickening person. Just like really awesome.

Sweet, generous, genuine. Wonderful, intelligent. And oh. Stupid, smart and stupid. How are you gonna be be both? Ask Becca. That's what I'm saying. Hello. It's sickening. Yeah. Big fat is a house and just loves it. And well, not loves it, but she's just like unapologetically fat. Yeah. She's like, move on fat.

Love it. She definitely did. Love it. She definitely. Love it. Yeah. Took space. She did. And then they took our big baby away from us, that was very sad time I was very not happy about that Yeah, anyways big also not just anywhere to Singapore Yeah, I mean she's still like no she's doing great a damn thing. Yeah, but she's not here Yeah, you know anyways, so so Race, you looked amazing all the time.

And I think I'm trying to try to just like think of what my favorite look of yours was. I mean, first of all, I'm like, how many the five suitcase rule cannot be still in effect with all those outfits? I don't know nothing about that. OK, moving on. We had a five suitcase roll, 50 pounds each. That's all you could bring. There's no way that that's still the case. I mean, there were rules. Really?

Like you couldn't shoot anybody? Yeah, like I just, you know, honestly, I am Mary Poppins and I had one little bag that I brought with me and I just shoved so many big things into that little bag kind of like what you do on a Friday night. Friday morning. Saturday afternoon. So I mean and you have to do all this yourself there's no assistance fluttering around when you're all getting into drag you're gluing the lace

down you're gluing the nails on you're fixing everything yourself. I mean... Well, I mean, we have the PAs, you know. They don't do nothing. They're not skilled at it, but they help. They do Alyssa because she asks, Alyssa's like, baby, get the shoe, baby, get the shoe. Yeah. But do they help you really? No, I mean, they zip me up. Yeah, but that's about it, right?

Hey, yeah, that's about it. I mean, it's real fun. Who took the longest to get into drag? Who would be the, or who would be the misery? I'm the misery. No, actually, me and Morphine were the misery in the sense that we were done with our faces first. Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. Because, and we would all be done,

but we'd just be like, Morphine, that face takes her 20 minutes. Oh wow. 20 minutes. 20 minutes. And it's from no makeup to run way ready. 20 minutes. She'd be like, boop, hey girls, what's going on?

No way, for real? Yeah, it was sickening, I loved it. I mean, if you know what to do, you just have the stuff No way, for real? Yeah, it was sickening. I loved it. Wow. I mean, if you know what to do, you just have the stuff out, you know where it goes, just put it there. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, that was like, Misery's station, it was disgusting. Of course, all the dust in there. But she had all her Maron black and colorful pancakes out. Morphing station wasn't even disgusting. No, no, no. Yeah, I know. That's great.

But you do it so fast. I like to I don't like the feeling of... She wasn't rushing. That's just like how she does her makeup. She's just not... it's just it's like putting on your pants. And then you look over you're like you're done. Oh yeah. Damn. Other girls, like girls on my season, a lot of the girls took a long time to get ready and did not end up looking like they spent, you know what I mean?

It's like all that for that. You know, they're beautiful, but like not a lot of stuff going on. Yeah. And I think the thing about Morphine and even Misery is the big shapes don't take that long. That's what it is. I mean, it is about broad strokes

in theatrical impactful makeup. When you're this close to Morphine, you're like, damn. Fuck, that's great. Yeah, Misery, I've got to say, I have to say sometimes she went out on stage and she went on stage and she might've said that she was ready, sometimes she went out on stage, and she went on stage, and she might have said that she was ready, but she was not ready.

Do you know what I mean? But it was like a bravado thing with her. She was a very, or she is, you're not dead, but it's a very macho. She's got that Latina. She's like, I'll show you what's up. We're very confident. Well, and the entire audience was like, yes

They believe it. Yes. Yeah, that bus driver is gonna take me to church. Yeah We're buckled up. I Was transfixed the first time I saw me too I was on I'll never forget I'll never forget I was back to the wall back Standing up packed Friday night crowd She was doing her lose control mix and just she went around and she gave me these weird eyes and I was like, oh my God, that's the most amazing person in the world. Yeah.

Misery is, she was my blueprint for a while. It's the best, it's one of the best dragon names ever. Misery with a Z. With a Z. Get out of here. Get in here. Yeah, get in here. It's cunt, right?

Misery, it's such a fucking good name. And then, and then when you meet her, you're like, Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mystery is what happens when you meet her. Actually, straight up mystery. She's like, she's like, I know it's like, I was like, what's your last, Hey, misery, what's your, what's your real name? I don't know.

You're like, what's your last name? I don't know. How old are you? How old are you? 25. Yeah. Yeah. What do you what do you think? Do you have a social security card? No. Yes, no, I was just so like, she like, she really, like,

turned up the fog machine to 11. And true, like, in terms of, like, you know, in terms of her, like real identity, it's kind. It's really kind. Anyways, I, yeah. It's really kind. Anyways, I, uh, yeah. Let's stay over here on that one. Okay, so what's your what was your least favorite outfit that you wore on Drag Race? If you had to rank yourself, what do you thought? Did it was anything?

Uh, did you like watching it back on the on the television? Do you really like? Well, I haven't watched it since it's it aired. Really? No. Was it hard to watch yourself? Or did you love it? Well, during the season watched it since it aired. Really? No. Was it hard to watch yourself or did you love it? During the season loved it. I mean, I slayed.

So it's like not hard to watch yourself slay the whole time. It's true. And I say that with the most- Humility. No, no humility at all. It's just a fact of life. When you're blessed and you really do something, you should be proud of what you've done.

I think that more people should be proud of achieving greatness. Yeah, if you do something good, recognize it. Recognize it so that you can do it again. You know what I mean? But after the outcome, I've come to a point that I probably will watch it soon because I've gotten over it.

I had an entire, you know, I toured my own one-woman show this summer and it went really, really well. Did you love it? I loved it. And, you know, I got to a point where I was like, okay, I think I can go back and watch this whole thing again. Because the whole time, I thought, I'm about to win. Yeah.

Like, you know, having known you and remembering your season, I thought, okay, the goal is to make it far. Yeah, yeah. The goal is not to win. That's not what I'm trying to do here. It's not pass, fail. It's not pass, fail. It's not pass, fail. It's not what I'm trying to do here. It's not pass fail. It's not pass fail. It's not pass fail.

It's not gold or nothing. It's like, that's not the case. But at some point during the show, I was realizing, oh, I am slaying. I am eating these girls up. And also, I would assume when you're on the show, the vibe you get from the judges and from Rue can often be invisible to the audience.

Because it's just, you weren't there, it's not in the edit, it's a feeling you can't, that might not come across in the edit or whatever. So it's strange. I'm also a little blind to some things like that. What do you mean? Like, I live in a reality and not in feelings every single time Okay

And so like there were times that I thought I was not doing well one of the ones was when I drank my potion I didn't think I was doing well and they were like, why did you do that? Like what was that for? That was stupid. Like if you saw the face that the TS made when I did it, she was like... Not the boar worms. Not the boar worms. Oh, oh, oh. I was like, uh, what?

Her titty said, not the po shit. I was like, oh shit, maybe I shouldn't have done it. And then they said, are you sure? I said, yep. I said, girl, you stupid bitch. But it was because I was having a moment. I had only had one hour of sleep. And after making all that stuff and I'd made it

and I just was stressing out all night long. And I said, well, you know what? You don't have to stress out. You have an out. Take it. Go sit back. I don't feel like hearing nobody's mouth. I don't feel like hearing people talk about me today.

And then I saw Law Roach was on the thing and I said, what's not gonna happen on this day is I'm not about to get the dog shit read out of me on this goddamn stage by Law Roach. Now, for some people that is an honor. For me, I was not there for that. And the funny thing is he comes in the back and I said, okay, what do you have to say about me?

And he goes, you're pussy. You're just a woman. You are so gorgeous. And I was like, well, fuck. I was like, I can see your labia from here, bitch. Are you even wearing panties, you slut? And I was like, god damn it, you stupid bitch. But, so you know, I, and it wasn't because I, I mean, I even, I was like, I have this feeling,

like that's why I stopped going based off of feelings. Cause feelings will make you make some dumbass fucking decisions. Feelings are not facts. Um, I know there's a lot in between that and the finale, but I just want to talk about... I want to... I don't think I like drag... I don't like lip sync competition, um, performance. As in, two drag queens on the same stage performing the same song against

each other. I don't think it yields a great result. I don't like it. I just realized that today. I don't like it. Why? Because so for example, you could have two different... So when you did the Beyonce one, you started off very slow, very confident. I mean, it was like oozing confidence, and your body seemed to say, just get off the stage, you white bitch. You know what I mean? Just let me do this one.

Let me do my song. Let me just get, why are you on the stage right now? Get off. And it's like, let me do this one. Let me do my song. Let me just get, why are you on the stage right now? Get off. And it's like, no disrespect to the other performer because often on Drag Race, we have like, you know, a song that is suited much more to somebody else than, but I just, when I was watching you and Nymphia perform

for the live crowd, I was like, I love this, but I don't want them to do it together. Yeah. You're not performing together. No. It's not a duet. It's not a duet. No.

It's an adversarial lip sync performance that I hate. Yeah. Like, and I don't know. It's difficult because the real thing is how do you convey what you're trying to, one of the things that people constantly ask me about is the vampire teeth. Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that. They're like, I don't get the vampire teeth.

I don't get it, can someone explain to me? Do you have vampire teeth? And I was like, okay. I didn't think it was this hard, but there's only one person, there's only one being I know who can hear people's heartbeats and it's vampires. Like literally, it's their thing. I can hear your heart.

I can hear your pulse. I can tell when you're afraid. I can tell when you're horny. Oh, so you you knew it was going to be put on, but um, yeah. OK, I mean, of course we knew you have to prepare the song. Oh, I did. Sometimes you don't. That's not necessarily a given. Well, they said we've given you the song to prepare. but I mean like in it like a lip sync like oh, that's right the day They never just like but don't they do sometimes like during that live finale like it could be one of these three and then you

Get this one. Um, it hasn't been that in a while. It hasn't been that's place in Sasha Ballour Maybe yeah when they used to do that when they yeah, yeah, open the box or whatever It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long.

It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long.

It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been that long. It hasn't been a fight, I don't like that format. Just personally. I don't like a lip sync fight,

unless you're actually gonna, you know what I mean? I don't know. It's also really difficult to determine, where am I supposed to look? And also, where's your costume drop? And then it's a hazard on stage for- For the other person, yeah. Absolutely.

Then it pulls focus from you as an entertainer, and you have to worry about all these other things that are,, they're incredible reveals happening balloons and shit wigs flying off But they're also littering the stage and inhibiting movement and stuff like things like that. I just hate Yeah, I hate that shit. That's you know I think that's just like one of those things when it comes to this competition is yeah, it is what it is It is what it is and I like, I mean, the lip sync, Lala Peruzza that they had the week before. Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Just to clarify, I loved the put on, put on lip sync by the way. Just because I don't like the format. I loved it. You both looked incredible. Thank you. I loved that, I loved that fucking song. And you both had great reveals. Not like the Jiffy Pop Aquaria.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, this is just, like, you know, they were, you look, they looked good on their own. They were something else. You guys, it was wonderful. Wonderful. Go ahead. I love the one before the Lollaparooza because it was kind of more of a battle battle. Okay. It sort of felt like more of a, what do you call those things?

Battle Royale. Okay, sure, sure. And you get to see people who really have something. I don't know, I feel like at the end, they didn't do that for the All Stars, I noticed. The girls weren't on the same stage. I know, but we didn't have the fly, I don't think we had a finale. Not yours.

Sorry, oh. This most recent one. It didn't look like it, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Oh my God, there's, wait. What is the most recent All Stars? Nine. And Jiria. And Jiria. That's right.

And if you look at it, it looked like they were all, because they showed them in different. That's what I like. That's what I like. That's, yes, that's what I wish they would do. I loved that format, actually. They cut between them. They each performed solo and they cut in between to feature each one. I thought that was cunt.

Did you? I loved that. I liked that because then you get the whole stage. It's your stage. You don't have to. I don't mind it. I mean, it's the format of the flagship show. So like I enjoyed it. I don't mind that I didn't.

I mean, I wish I had $200,000, but everything else is going quite great for me. I have my own album coming out. I have all these things. On the radio. Oh, and I'm on the radio, yes. Let's talk about that for a fucking second, you bitch. On the radio.

On the radio. So if I'm driving in my car, and I'm sorry. And certain, what do you call those things? Terrestrial radio. Can I flip it on Kiss 108 FM? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's on this one yet, but it will be soon.

It's definitely on Kiss in Chicago, on Kiss in Savannah, Georgia. Is it, wait, is this enough? No, not enough. No, it's Get Your Flowers. Oh, Get Your Flowers. Get Your Flowers. It's a song about, you know, just like giving people their just you,

and I think, and getting them as a person. Like, come and get your flowers. Yeah, hey, bitch. And it's one of those songs that you can just like jam to, and you can play during like a family reunion. You can all just get, because there's a line dance in it. Oh, fierce.

I mean, I wish life were more like wedding reception line dances. I don't think that's the real experience of life, but. Well, in black people's lives it is. Ethnic life is much better than life. It is, well, that's just a true statement. Yeah. Ethnic food is better. Ethnic, just the word ethnic. I was just thinking of that. It's so a true statement. Ethnic food is better.

Ethnic. Just the word ethnic. I was just thinking of that. It's so rotten and rude. I was like, at some point people said, okay, we can't say any of these other bad words. We can't really. What's the dog whistle euphemism we can throw in there?

Let's just say ethnic. Yeah. Oftentimes, you know, ethnic comes with, I with I never I'm not gonna go down ethnic cleansing but it's crazy we don't not right now yeah not this segment maybe I just noticed you're fucking loafers bitch I just noticed your Alexander McQueen they're really comfortable about fucking low they're really comfortable they look they my fucking loafers. They're really comfortable.

They look very comfortable. You know what? I always expect fancy shoes to not be comfortable, right? Why would they not be comfortable? Because sometimes they are, which just boggles my mind that a pair of shoes that cost more than $200 could not be comfortable. That's stupid. It's absurd.

Like, why would they not be comfortable? Why would they not be comfortable? If I'm going to pay this much motherfucking money for these shoes, they better walk me to the goddamn car. Yes, yes. I better just go. Yeah, you just look floating. I'm just gonna float to the car. Balenciaga had a pair of like muppet looking

little kitten heel mules. Most uncomfortable piece of shit I've ever tried on ever. My- Crazy. One of my dancers has those Balenciaga huge tennis shoes that look like you're wearing a goddamn tire on your foot. And they say that it's like, it's gong, gong, gong. Yeah, it's insane. Are they heavy?

They're like, they're not light. Yeah, it's like, are they comfortable? They're not killing me. Yeah, yeah. They're killing me, baby. No, they're're not killing me. Yeah, yeah. They're killing me. Yeah, they're killing me. No, they're very cute, actually. It's nuts.

So you didn't win Drag Race. No. Neither did I. Well, I got further than you. Yes, you did. Did you? Yes, you did. Yes, you did.

Yes, I did. I'm a top four finalist. Four. And you're a Yes, I did. I'm a top four finalist. Four. And you're a top two finalist. I was a top two finalist for my actual season. Okay. So, please refresh my memory. When was, how, you, Nymphaea, Plane, in the top, that's three, top three, who was the fourth,

who was caught before that? Q. Q. Okay, some of these names are really interesting. Dawn. Love Dawn. Dawn. Dawn. Dawn loved Dawn because Dawn, my mom's name is Dawn. Oh, no way.

And so like the second I knew that there was gonna, the second I saw her and I was like, Dawn, greet the Dawn with enthusiasm and you may expect satisfaction at sunset. Make it a great day. Oh my God. That was my mom's, like when you call her, that is her ringtone, I mean her message.

Fierce. So Dawn was your mother. Dawn is my daughter, actually. Your daughter and your mother, that's fierce. She's so cute. Yeah, I love her so much. I love the makeup. My favorite face.

The face is so cool. The ears are so lovely. The ears, and we got ready together right next to each other. I bet she can't do a 20 minute face, Ms. Dawn. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. But she can't paint faster than you think. Like an hour?

Even less because she had to change her makeup sometimes. Damn. And she would do it. It was like, oh, you're sick, artist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so funny that she's so cute. What do you call those people? Engineer.

What? Yeah. Straight up engineer. Damn. Yeah, degreed. Degreed. Degreed. Diplomad.

I love, I just, I love, if I had to choose a occupation for my future husband, I would say engineer. Yeah. I think same. Not drive. Mechanical engineer. Electrical engineer or, yeah, yeah. Engineer is just sexy.

Yeah. Just make stuff. Musical engineer? Musical engineer is great, yeah, yeah. Engineer is just sexy. Yeah, just makes stuff. Musical engineer? Musical engineer is great, yeah, but we'll see how much money they make. Well, I mean, they could- Whoever makes the most. They could be producing albums for Dr. Dre. For Duck.

In the 90s. I don't know if anyone's doing that anymore. No, I mean, you know what I mean. Oh, like back in the day. You want an older engineer. Yeah, somebody in his 60s who's worked with the Rolling Stones. No, you want someone in their 90s. Well, have you seen that clip about like, I think it's called, I don't know how to say the word, gerontophilia. It's like the love of oldies.

And there's a guy who's like, you know, they have Silver Daddy as a website. And the guy is like, he wants to, he's I think maybe 50, 40. And he's looking for guys in their 90s, but it's not very practical to date guys who are in their 90s, because they're gonna die soon. Oh, for that reason. Okay. You know what I mean? I know people who are trying to they want doing 90s so that they do die soon. Oh, no, no, no, no, this is like, stay alive, you old, stay alive, old, I want to like, suck on those. Yeah, long nuts. you old stay live old I don't like suck on those yeah long that's cuz the look the things over is the older you know is that true yeah the older you get the longer your nuts get they just keep I don't like that I don't like that at

all it's like door knockers I mean I oh I... Oh, man. I don't like that at all. I'm not a ball stretcher. I'm not like a cock ring person. Oh, no. I'm not into any... Dick tourniquets. That's what I call those. Dick tourniquets. Thank you. I call cock rings dick tourniquets. I'm like, get that dick tourniquet away from me. It's like...

You look at that penis and the cock ring, you're like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what about with the ball stretchers? So they got the cock ring on. And like, ah! What is that? What about with the ball stretchers? So they got the cock ring on, and they got the ball stretchers, these like giant fucking, they look like napkin holders. I used to sell those things. Yeah, I used to work at Full Kit and P Town. Oh, like a sex store? Yeah, P Town, Full Kit and P Town.

And we would sell them, and I never got, I tried it once, I even have some still at home. I don't use them because I have very sensitive testicles. I, yeah, I don't, I'm not, I have a friend who's, I've known, he was into like the most extreme whatever. I mean, he was getting fisted before anybody was getting fisted. I don't know if that's true.

No, I mean, you know what I mean? Like he was, he was born in the game is what I'm trying to say. That's true. So like he's tried everything. Every kind of like stimulation tool for the genitals has been thoroughly explored by this guy. And he was telling me like, you know,

yeah, he's got like ball stretchers and fucking cockerings, all this shit down there. I'm like, wow, I don't want anything down there like that. Is he into sounding? Sounding, fisting, everything, stim this shit down there. I'm like, wow, I don't want anything down there like that. Is it into sounding? Uh-huh, sounding, pissing, everything, stimming, like, everything. E-stim is cunt. Yeah, yeah. That E-stim, I don't like it on me,

but I have used it on partners before, and it is really, really lovely. Yeah, I don't even like getting hit, girl. Interesting, I don't either. I do not. I don't like it, because, girl. Interesting. I don't either. I do not. I don't like it because I'm very sensitive. Me too. And like feeling, like the mouth is a very hard thing. And there's a lot of sharp things in there.

There's sharp things in there. If you're dealing with men, sometimes there's like beards going on or stubble going on. Maybe the back of the throat, not soft. Nope, not at all. The hard palate, the soft palate is soft, but then you get to the back of the throat not soft. Nope. Not all the hard palette. The soft palette is soft but then you get to the back and they are like yep adult braces and then my favorite people are like they try and force you down that throat and you're like ow what the fuck are you doing? Yeah

ouchy especially have they they have adult braces that's a whole nother side of I'm never in my life. What about Queen of Flips? What's her Flips? She didn't give me head. That is not the reason why I helped her with her stuff. Queen of Flips, we're really wondering what the head game is. Apparently, it's off the chain. I'm not going to say why, no. But she doesn't have the braces anymore either, by the way. Put them back. Queen of flips. Put them back on. Okay, we do have to wrap up, but I just want to round off this little segment.

I know I apologize to the listener. I've been very scatterbrained. But you, I'm interested to, do people, is this too personal to ask if you're cut or uncut? I'm French cut. Okay, because I don't like jerk off either, because guys pull on my... That's why I don't like people who touch me. Yes, I feel the same way. Because people don't, not many people know, they do what they do to themselves. Yes, and if they're uncut, it's like, oh, I know immediately if a guy's uncut,

because the way that he approaches my dick is like not his dick Yeah, I'm too. I'm fiercely cut like it to be very like I'm French cut So yeah, which is like half and half. Okay, but mostly I appear to be cut. Okay but like it's I usually am like girl no just just Turn around. I mean I couldn't even masturbate without lube. Yeah, same, same. Couldn't, it's not an option. Much to the chagrin of people who visit my home

and slip on hardwood floors, stain lube, and then die. Then die. But you know, it's annoying. Then leave. But it's like, but very sensitive. I hate it when people grab it, yank on the dick. And then they yank it down? Yeah, and I was like, ow.

You're like, girl, get your, you don't know what you're doing. And also, if you're as a top, if you're in a sexual situation where you're kind of, where you have more of a dominant energy, I don't like, ow, I don't like saying, I don't know, there's something about it. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, I just go. Yeah, turn around, yeah. I just take their hand off. I just go, mm. Throw them against the wall. I go Oh, no, you're good. Yeah, they're like give me head I just pulled them by the hair and just go like next card, baby. Next card Where my background blow is at? Where my background blow is? That's when you blow out that back though. Yes!

It's like, okay, cool, you've gotten it on. Let's just turn around and do the thing that we came to do. Okay, so I think we do have to wrap, but I think if you're here for the week, I think we're going to have to strong arm you into doing a part two. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, you might have to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we got through like 12 seconds of drag race. Okay, so stay tuned for that.

Severe, thank you so much. Long time friend, how long has it been? 2010, 14 years? Yeah. 14 years, that's older than some of the people listening are. That's fucking scary. Okay, on that note, thank you so much. We'll see you next time.

See you next time. When can people find you? Oh, you can find me on all streaming platforms at Safir Crystal. That's S-A-P-P-H-I-R-A-C-R-I-S-T-A-L. Also, you can find me on Instagram and like all, everything. Are you a TikTok? TikTok? Yeah, and TikTok.

Yeah, yeah. I'm not great at it, but you know, I do it. None of us are, but we're trying. Yeah, especially us with the threes or fours or fives in our numbers. Girl, mama. Seriously. It's hard for...

These fierce French cut dicks. Baby. AARP card and a French cut dick and a ball stretcher in the Christmas stocking. Baby, if you could put a ball stretcher in the Christmas stocking. Baby, if you could put a ball stretcher in my Christmas stocking, I'm going to stretch your ass out. Okay. Have a lovely day.

Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye!