The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya - The Lure of the Potent Dad Nut
Episode Date: November 17, 2020From epic Midwestern Halloween tales to living room awards show presenters to the unparalleled magnetism of dads with kids, this episode is full of all the news you can use, including: Wisconsin is li...tty, there's no such thing as a Laffy Taffy soup kitchen, and sometimes nuts taste like old boot and clorofil. That's life in 2020. Deal with it. To follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel To follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TBATBYT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Okay.
Welcome back to episode, what are we up to, 74?
Yeah, 74.
No, I think seven.
Is this seven?
I don't even know.
I think it's seven.
We recorded, when we first started, we recorded like a lot, a big, huge chunk.
And then we had a little bit of a break, but not really.
I mean, the viewers don't know or the listeners.
Yeah, we haven't recorded in a good, at least, what, two months?
No, it hasn't been that long.
A month and a half, maybe?
Maybe, yeah.
You were gone in Milwaukee for a while.
I went to two and a half weeks of Milwaukee time.
I am shocked by that.
Why did you do that?
I lived.
I loved it.
Tell me, how did you live?
Why?
Where?
In Milwaukee.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, the good land.
America's 16th largest city.
One of the most epically racially divided cities in the united states
yeah but uh similar to boston it's probably very segregated very racist yes there's we talked about
the jada podcast when she was here um i loved it i went i got an airbnb i shopped for a house for
my mom oh that's oh you bought that horror house i bought the house she bought the house my mother
is the mother of the house now
by the way this is what it's like to be
a midwesterner and you want to
impress your mom you want to whatever
and I'm like my mom doesn't care about my record
she doesn't care about being a best selling author she doesn't watch
me on TV really she doesn't care but me
buying her a house she's gonna gag
before we went I told my realtor
Matt well it's a drag queen
Chanel Devine she's a realtor.
I said, Chanel divine, just so you know, you might see some emotions today.
Like, you know, my mom, she might cry.
You know, I don't think she's owned a house like this probably in a long time.
And you know, my mom, God love her.
She lives in a trailer in the country, you know, and this could be waterworks today.
And she's, he's like, I know I was talking in the office today that today might be emotional.
We walk in, my mom follows me behind me and I'm like,
I got you this house.
And my mom goes,
it looked bigger in the pictures.
Not good enough.
Did you gag?
Did you gag?
I just,
I,
well,
the great thing about wearing masks of all time is I can hide my emotions
because I looked like that woman from couples court,
Miss Jackson,
but she's like,
you can't,
you're not very good at concealing your true feelings.
Oh my God.
Did she,
did she ever get like a little misty in the eye?
No.
After the fact,
I think she could tell that I was a little disappointed by the response.
So then she was like,
Oh no,
it's great.
Yeah.
I love it.
She was like, I'm so grateful that you did this for me.
And you just,
I really appreciate it. And it's cool. I mean, it's great yeah i love it she was like i'm so grateful that you did this for me and you just i really appreciate it um and it's cool i mean it's wonderful but i was also looking at for a place for myself so i got myself a very small loft in the milwaukee area too just just a casual
you know my friend's home said they said you're so bald you're buying houses you're like the
monopoly man yeah it's like well i i i just wanted to pick up another residence on my way back from
the coffee it's like what the fuck well i wanted to pick up another residence on my way back from the coffee.
It's like, what the fuck?
Well, I was originally looking at a place for myself.
And then my mom was like, well, you know.
Oh, so you're.
I was already looking at condos for myself because I love Milwaukee.
And, you know, you and I have a lot of projects coming up that we have to sit and do a lot of writing for.
That's true.
Writing projects.
I need my little zhuzh.
That makes sense.
But like, why Milwaukee? Well, I know why, because you're from there but i love it you do did they get foliage in the fall they get the
fall foliage and it's one of the biggest is it pretty and it's one of the fastest growing cities
in the country so what does that mean houses go on sale there and sell in a day okay because it
has five fortune 500 countries companies in that little city okay so there's a lot of people moving there
a lot of people making a lot of money there everything in milwaukee every street is like
new businesses every other week it's just growing so fast and do you like are the real estate prices
like reasonable or are they how do they compare to la obviously not as much but they're a little
more reasonable now because of kobe toms ko Tom's. I was just talking about this today.
Isn't it crazy to think we're going to have to tell children someday that this
happened.
I'm going to be like,
no,
we had masks on for two years.
Yeah.
And it's,
it's doesn't have like the,
the kind of,
I don't know the interest of like a bubonic plague.
Do you know what I mean?
I feel like it's kind of,
no,
I mean,
it's not as like terrifying. It's, I mean, 200 and what, 40,000 people have died. So it's not good.
Yeah. It depends what news channel you watch.
That's true. But like, it doesn't have the, um, or like the intrigue or the drama of like, you know, a real good kind of like Spanish flu.
I don't know.
What were you up to for the two and a half weeks I was gone?
Music videos.
That's right.
Music videos.
Yes.
Vampire Fitness comes out Friday.
Two days from now, I'm a musician.
How do you feel about it?
I actually feel really good about it.
I really like it.
It's fucking cool, dude.
Yeah.
It's a different
kind of um sensation to release something that i actually really like no i mean like
i'm talking about my storm yeah no like the in terms of like a solo project that's um a hundred
percent like a vanity project you know what i mean? Like nobody commissioned it. Nobody asked for it. I just wanted to do it.
But usually when I do something like that,
it turns out very sideways.
But this is like,
I actually am really into it.
I'm into it.
Yeah.
And I think anybody in our position
who's making music
become comfortable with the fact
that you might never see a dollar from it
and just be proud of what you're making.
Oh, absolutely.
If I wanted to make money,
I'd go work at the TJ Maxx.
Well, that's a stringent hiring process.
And they do do a background check.
So they're going to find out about Jennifer with a G.
It's going to be all over.
Poor Jennifer.
She met an end that she did not deserve.
Stuffed on the trash, the fucking trash chute.
The trash chute.
But she was so heavy, though.
So heavy.
You got to get rid of her.
What's her winter weight?
24 pounds.
That's a poundable pussy.
Yeah, 24 pounds of fuck meat or whatever.
It's so disgusting.
So disgusting.
I just want someone to talk to me like that though.
I want a guy to talk to me the way that the salespeople talk on sex toys.
Oh my God.
I wish I was only 24 pounds of fuckable.
Yeah.
24 pounds of poundable pussy action or something.
I mean,
it's like a,
it's like a,
um,
like a car commercial.
Do you know what I mean?
It's like four wheel drive.
It's so funny.
You know what I enjoyed while I was home?
Wisconsin has the most wonderful,
like locally produced radio ads.
Like Jennifer convertibles or whatever.
So like,
Oh wow.
Come on down to the color box in Ashwaubenon,
Wisconsin doing half off cotton colors.
If you call now,
like,
wow.
Just the most like really talk like that.
Yes.
A hundred percent.
Minnesota and Minneapolis.
Wait.
So Wisconsin and Minnesota are.
They're the same thing to the world.
Yeah.
Are they really like,
what's the difference?
So Minnesota is to the left and just to the right of it is Wisconsin. So they're the same thing to the world. Are they really like, what's the difference? So Minnesota is to the left and just to the right of it is Wisconsin.
So they're,
they're,
they're,
they're side by side.
And I'll have,
you know,
that Wisconsin turned blue again last week.
So that was lovely to be home.
I closed on the,
my condo and I spent my first night there and I woke up to the news of
Wisconsin being blue.
Did you teabag the television?
I cried.
Did you really? I sure did. Oh, good Wisconsin being blue. Did you teabag the television screen? I cried. Did you really?
I sure did.
Oh, good for you.
You know, my first time voting was in 2008 for Obama.
And I lived in the dorms.
So voting and having Obama win while you live in the dorms
was so exciting.
Okay, yeah.
Because it was all-
Communophilia.
Yes.
Blackman.
Yes.
And so it was fun.
And now you better believe I'm going to vote in Wisconsin
because I have a residence there
You can't take me
They don't need my gay vote
Can you double dip
You can't
Felony
Felony
Well you have
I'll wait
My mom
I said I will do voter fraud
Because she didn't vote this year
I said listen
Okay
Next time
I'm coming over to your house
I'm taking that geriatric hand
And I'm signing the papers Mary
You could just like
Put on a wig
Get on that rascal
And go down to the little Ballot box say, I am Mrs. Mattel.
What is her name?
Val.
Val.
Oh, I love that.
She's Val and she's unimpressed.
Not moved to tears by you buying her a dream house.
Not at all.
I mean, it's fine.
It makes perfect sense.
It does make sense.
I would have been thinking about it. I'm like, what if she would have reacted big? it would have been thinking about it I'm like what if she would have reacted
big that would have been so
inconsistent yeah
what would bring her to tears
like a nice
a death in the family
oh oh okay
yeah just something light
I mean like tears of like joy
well she didn't cry at the house showing so then I killed
one of our I killed my brother i made her watch yeah i'm gonna
juice some tears out of that face 100 one way or another no but it was cool um it was cool to be
able to you know not to be gay but like my aunt my my mom they all can live in a house and they
can have an extremely affordable like you know it's like the real world slumlord edition. I, that would be great
if you became like, it just like inch by inch, little by little every year, more and more
ruthless. You should have seen their faces when I said this has to have a good resale value though.
So you can't smoke in the house, bitch. They looked like, why would we live here? We can't
smoke in here. To be honest, that's a fair point. I'm going to take their side on that
because think about it. Like, I mean, if you're a smoker and you're all in,
if you're all in,
you don't have any illusions about quitting really in the next
five years, that's
kind of how you live your life.
When we got to Drag Car in New York and they said
you can't smoke anywhere, I was like, well,
I guess I'm going home.
Seriously, you know what I mean though? It's like
crazy. So I get that.
They're going to smoke in the house.
And I did.
Finally, no, they cannot.
I also look straight at them.
And when my mom was like, because I walked in the day after that we showed her the house
and I was sitting there and it was like three, two, one.
Anyway, mom, remember yesterday when I brought you to the house to look at it and you barely
said anything and you said that it looked bigger in pictures?
And she goes, what?
And I go, I'm in a tulip.
She goes, are you?
She's like, do you think I'm not wasn't grateful I said I already
told everyone I said I've already put it in
the next show are you kidding me that
was the funniest thing it's 20 minutes of new
material is so
so funny and then she um
that bitch just makes me laugh
she's one of those whores who
she's one of those taking
great care of herself in her life and
she's one of those people that no matter how many times,
like the doctor is like,
you need to do X,
Y,
Z.
She's like,
I'm just trying to party.
I just want to party,
party,
party to my baseball.
So the next day I come over,
I said,
what'd you guys do last night?
And she's like,
well,
your auntie had to sit up with me.
Cause we stayed up late and we had some of those drinks.
And then I had some spicy sausage and I woke up and I had heartburn.
And I felt like one of my arms was numb and your aunt had to spicy sausage and I woke up and I had heartburn and I felt like one of
my arms was numb and your aunt had to sit up and watch
me. I said,
watch me through a potential heart attack.
I'm like,
how old is she? She's not old,
but in Wisconsin, we're not here for a long time.
We're here for a good time. The life expectancy
is like what? Like the 1600s
over there. Yeah. She's not
as in good shape of as pat
serving she's going to outlive everybody everybody i want to meet her she's great yeah she's great i
mean she's like you know the best thing about her is like if you ever go on a walk or like you're on
an errand on foot she leaves you in the dust oh she she's hitting it she hits it and she doesn't
look back yeah you just gotta keep up or just get, you know,
lost in the shuffle.
I love that.
A little bit.
You though.
Yeah,
for sure.
Yeah.
I just like,
you know,
we'll,
we'll arrive as a group and then I'll just cut out.
And you know what happens happens.
Do you believe in like a French exit in that sense?
I just call it exiting.
You know what?
No,
seriously.
I don't need to speak French.
I just leave French,
Irish,
whatever.
That's French people laughing.
I mean, think about this.
I don't understand the people who make a point to say goodbye to everybody in a party on the way home.
It's so weird and self-indulgent.
Yeah, that seems like the, not rude, but that seems like the crazier thing to me.
I agree.
Okay, so we're thinking about getting, know Each one each one it's like a whole theatrical production
I'm heading out
Get out who cares bye
I'll go to the door
I'll put one foot in the door I'll lean back around the corner of the door
And go
That's more my vibe Oh, I even get to go home now.
That's more my vibe.
Yeah.
We'll be right back.
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I did finally get to do something in Wisconsin that was litty.
I got to finally hand out Halloween candy at a house.
Okay.
All right.
was liddy i got to finally hand out halloween candy at a house okay all right so i think i saw your tweet about this and you said it became you were bored of it like five minutes i was like
which is it that happens this is all led up to this i wasn't five minutes in i was yelling in
the screen door like you guys tricked me this sucks my mom and my aunt having drinks in the
kitchen like you got it i'm'm like, this is horrible.
Did you dress up now?
Did you dress up?
No.
Oh, see, that's kind of the part of the problem.
I wore like a flannel with like an orange beanie.
So I was very fall.
But I wasn't like serving a costume.
A little cheek stick and a freckle.
What's she dressed up?
What's she dress up as?
Oh, she had this horrifying mask with like a weapon and a black shroud.
And when the kids came to the screen door, she like popped out and stared at them.
See, that's what you got to do.
That keeps it interesting for you.
So Auntie Gooch would scare them and just go,
I love scared kids.
Yeah.
I love it.
So then I'm sitting there handing out the candy.
These kids don't dress up, Mama.
Oh.
These kids are not dressed up.
I'm not kidding.
Nine out of 10 children were not in a costume yeah we
don't do that i feel like that's something you don't you don't get the candy unless you get the
costume this girl said trick or treat i said where's the trick yeah she said i'm a whore or
they were rocking up and not saying trick or treat and just sit there hold out the bucket then going
thank you oh no no no no no no so it's just a laughy taaffy soup kitchen, you fucking cunt? It's just like a soup kitchen parade.
Just homeless youths.
She pissed me off.
So you know what I did?
I went inside.
I heated up some Campbell's tomato soup.
I brought it out and I put a ladle into each bag.
I said, this is the kind of treat you're going to get.
Do you want grits or pea soup, ma'am?
I will say I was kind of tearing out the candy bits in the costume.
If it's babies, I had like gummies.
Like, oh, here's this whatever.
Like a gummy bear.
Oh, sure.
Weed gummies.
Yeah.
Those babies are flying.
Toddler, only 50 milligrams for that one.
I would love to give a baby an edible.
Just see what happens.
Oh, absolutely.
I think they would love it.
I think it would probably be like a good thing
well you know how with marijuana you have to it's very the craft how do you enter with perfect love
and perfect trust babies wouldn't have any preconceived like what's gonna happen with the
weed no yeah it just completely just soaks their consciousness naturally that baby from ali mcbeal
the dancing baby yeah 50 milligrams 50 milligrams 50 c CCs of Mary J. Yeah.
They're just go from bait,
like baby to toddler.
They skipped those terrible twos.
It was a lot of costumes that were like a Mickey hoodie.
I'm like,
that is not a costume.
That's a piece of clothing.
I said,
where's the reveals.
I want to see lashes.
I mean,
and I know that,
you know,
Hey,
where's the,
give me a ghost.
Give me a Dracula.
Give me something. Yeah. I don't like that. And also, um, you have, give me a ghost. Give me a Dracula. Give me something.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
And also you have to say thank you.
Yeah.
And it was, I mean, it was so cute when the kids were sometimes like two and the mom's
like, what do you say?
And they're like, like trying to say, that's fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is fun.
And then sometimes the little ones were confused.
There was one little girl who walked up, reached into her bucket and gave me candy and left.
And I was like, this is what I'm talking about.
That's fantastic.
Yeah.
Oh, that's another thing.
Cause if you live in a, it depends on what kind of area you live in, but you could just
be like, all right, that'll be a dollar.
Yeah.
Charge for the candy.
You know what I mean?
Make some money.
Turn it into like a, like a for profit kind of like.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
Cause you get 150 trick or treaters.
I'm seeing $300 right there.
A hundred percent.
Make it a sliding scale. Like if you're dressed good, you get candy. And if youtreaters, I'm seeing $300 right there. 100%. Make it a sliding scale.
Like if you're dressed good, you get candy.
And if you're dressed bad, you owe me money.
Or you dress really well, yeah.
I'm going to take a 10 out of you because I know you got it.
Dress for the job you want.
Now, when you were a kid and you went trick-or-treating, what was the candy you hoped for?
Oh, all time.
I didn't really care.
I just wanted a lot.
Nothing's changed.
Nothing.
I just wanted so much of it because we did pillowcases. You do pillowcases? Oh, all tight. I didn't really care. I just wanted a lot. Nothing's changed. Nothing. I just wanted so much of it because we did pillowcases.
You do pillowcases?
Oh, yeah.
We did pillowcases always.
Big, long pillowcases.
And I'm talking like-
Like a robber?
20 pounds of candy.
Like you were coming in to take their silver flatware and their heirloom dishes?
Big opening and deep.
Big and deep.
Yeah.
And then you walk around
over the shoulder santa claus absolutely yeah you strong thread count 250 or whatever and we just
fucking just go until we can't go anymore and i'm just telling you 20 pounds of candy really see i
don't even think pounds i think tricker people trick-or-treat less yeah i didn't even see that
many trick-or-treaters yeah it's a dying I didn't even see that many trick-or-treaters. Yeah, it's a dying art. Oh, right.
It's a dying art.
When I was a kid,
trick-or-treating was lit.
Absolutely.
I went home with more candy
that I got.
All through November.
I would be like,
Christmas will come
and I'd be like,
you gotta throw this candy away.
Yep, absolutely.
All through November, guaranteed.
Yeah.
And I think the thing
that I miss about
like that suburb vibe
is the hot dads.
Well.
The hot dads
with their little youngsters
oh because that's how you know that that nut is potent and that nut works you know that
that seed is gonna flower that nut is gonna taste like an old boot
because you know that it is chlorophyll dna and
chlorophyll i'm not a biologist
this is so gross I can't believe I'm about to ask this
do you yeah whatever it is
absolutely sis
absolutely
just ask it
do you swallow cum
do I swallow cum do i swallow cum yeah sometimes oh yeah okay yeah yeah yeah
okay that's what i went to well i don't know uh let me just say i mean not for everyone
yeah right sure sure it has to be the right time dollar calvin comes into your life for a reason
i mean the because i know that gay men love to,
I don't know why I pivoted to this.
Oh yeah, because the potent dad nut.
What about trick-or-treating made you think about swallowing nuts?
Oh, the potent dad nut, yeah.
But I know that it's a very common kind of fetishized,
like put your nut in my butt kind of thing, situation, scenario.
Pregnancy.
Pregnancy.
Knock me up.
Knock me up. Knock me up.
Knock this pussy up.
Breed me, mom.
I just think of dogs.
I think of purebred chihuahuas.
It's also straight people nut in each other's
pussy holes all the time.
They don't say breeding.
Are straight girls like breed me?
No. Definitely not.
Definitely not.
I don't think.
What are they saying?
Come in my pussy?
All I'm saying when I say get this bread, I'm talking about money.
I'm not talking about cum.
Okay.
I still find it so revolting that expression.
Breeding.
I just think of chihuahuas and I like poodles and stuff like that.
I do think it's a comment.
I know a lot of gay men who there's something about a man with children that elevates the sexuality.
The virility of it is very appealing.
Kyle, isn't that you?
You like guys who have kids.
Is it because you did the potent the lure of the potent dad nut?
They're competent. They can take care of another being. Oh, it's the lure of the potent dad nut? They're competent.
They can take care of another being.
Oh, it's the responsibility effect.
So it's like the opposite of the bad boy complex.
100%.
Okay.
All right.
And at your present weight, you're looking very thin, by the way.
Yeah.
You know that that dad already has a baby Bjorn.
Oh, yeah.
He can strap me to the front.
Strap me to the front.
There was that episode of Veep where that guy,
what's his name?
Mike adopted an infant from China and she was six years old.
He had her like on the little baby Bjorn in the front,
like all six years old.
Yeah.
So what do you infant?
What do you think about?
Like,
I remember I watched a UK documentary about a woman who still breastfed her
kid at like 11, 12, 13.
I am Bialik.
Blossom did that too.
What's into that?
I, well, it's just different, like different understandings of like the attachment thing during like parenting.
I mean, I, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's a, oh gosh.
I mean, think of it, think of it this way though. I don't know. I don't know. It's a, Oh gosh. It's a,
I mean,
think of it,
think of it this way though.
How fucked up are humans in general?
So like,
it's not the worst thing.
It's not the,
exactly.
It could be worse.
Although I mean,
sucking on your mom's titty when you're 13.
Well,
what about the adult men who want to drink the milk from the titties?
Oh,
that's completely fine.
Cause that's just a fetish.
So then when the woman is pregnant,
the men drink the milk from the titty,
the grown men.
I don't believe that they do.
Wait,
who,
who?
Everything I know about sex,
I learned from the movie precious.
I was going to say,
I don't know if we have reliable data to base our conclusions on.
That's all I know about.
Oh,
we should take a break.
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And we're back.
And we're back.
Oh, it's nice to be back.
Okay.
So do you ever get like, so you're always doing videos.
YouTube.
Congratulations on 1 million subscribers, by the way.
Look at the plaque.
Look at the material.
Look at the material.
It certainly is gold, isn't it?
Yeah.
It came in the mail twice as big as the silver.
Thrilled.
Excited.
You and I are nominated for a streamy.
We are YouTube excellence. Oh, yes, we are. Now, what did i are nominated for a streamy we are youtube oh yes we are now
what did we get nominated for this time we got nominated for best show which is like best picture
of youtube and digital content okay now what do you what do you reckon are the the like is the
likelihood of us getting not high okay because usually like we've been nominated for best show twice now and best
unscripted once um and usually there are listen i love us it really is they're a megalomaniac yeah
a psychopath and a green screen oh yeah and they have like full crews and stuff there it's like a
it's like a full thing yeah i mean not to disparage what like you know it's just apples
and oranges let's say.
A hundred percent.
Although,
no,
it's not because,
I mean,
apples don't get nominated for being oranges.
Today,
you know what I mean?
So I guess it would be,
what would be like,
what would be the film equivalent?
Say like,
It's best picture.
Avatar versus,
The Help.
Honey.
I would say Avatar versus like, you know, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah. Yeah. Honey. I would say Avatar
versus like,
you know,
Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Help.
I just pulled a movie.
By the way,
you know what I,
you know how we talk about
things we do in the house
alone?
Yeah.
My new thing is
and the nominees are
and then listing movies
to myself.
Lisa Weapon 3.
And I'm only doing movies that are a good 15 years old.
So I'm like, and the nominees are Memoirs of a Geisha.
That's great. Babel.
Babel.
Crash.
Crash.
Harry Potter 2.
My God.
So that's my other new.
I like that.
That's good.
Are you doing any new?
I have a new rattle.
What's my new rattle? I have i like that that's good are you doing any new i have a new rattle um what's my new rattle i have um oh it's more sanskrit it's more sanskrit but i've had to
i've had to tone it down because actually been approached um no i've been approached to
kind of not do it anymore like if you you've been encouraged, I've been encouraged to stop because for some people,
for people who are like religious and devout in that part of the world,
it can be very Sanskrit is it's a sacred language.
Oh,
it's like,
it's like me saying,
you know,
hail Mary with my titties.
I don't know.
It's a similar effect.
Something like traditionally in religions,
they love to say,
this means this to me. So it has to mean it to everyone. Yeah. So you got to get on the level. I'm traditionally in religions, they love to say this means this to me. So it has to
mean it to everyone. Yeah. So you got to get on the level. I'm like, well, I don't want to get
on that level. Also, as if you haven't paid your dues as a yogi. Doesn't even matter. I feel like
it doesn't even matter. It doesn't even matter. I'm going to scream Sanskrit naked in my, in my
apartment. A hundred percent. In any way I like to. I was telling Kyle, my house guest, I was like, if you thought I was weird when we lived together, living alone, everything's calcified.
Absolutely.
I'm Nell.
I'm fucking Nell, girl.
I am Tay in the wind.
I'm titties out.
You're Nell and Russell Crowe from that beautiful mind.
A hundred percent.
Absolutely.
Having full conversations.
My other favorite one is, babe,
like someone's here when no one lives here.
Can you turn that down? Babe, babe.
No one's here.
You don't live with anybody.
I do call and response too.
What is it?
Just act out a scenario with like, I can't believe you did that.
Just go back and forth.
We've talked about this, you know.
You deserve it.
You deserve it.
Look at your behavior the last three weeks.
I can't even believe we, yeah, just kind of things like that.
But revenge fantasies sometimes.
And the nominees are revenge fantasies.
Lethal Weapon 4.
That's a gig.
Whoever gets to be that voice, that's a gig.
That is a good gig.
What would be your dream?
Wait, wait.
So we did a voiceover-ish, like, it's not quite ASMR, but on the album, like a guided meditation.
I listened to the preview the other day.
I really enjoy it.
You like doing it?
I usually, yeah, I love doing it.
But I also, like, I enjoy listening to it,
which is shocking because you know,
most people hate the sound of their own voice.
And I,
it even calms you,
the beast.
Yeah.
Interesting.
You know,
it actually makes me a little emotional.
Really?
Yeah.
Talk about that.
Well,
I think just,
I don't know.
I think,
um,
the,
the tone of it,
or I don't know what,
and then I think like ripping out your teeth makes me cry.
And let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you.
Can I tell you?
Tell me.
We filmed a music video for it in virtual reality.
Like it's a 3D kind of whole immersive environment kind of thing.
And I spent the whole day with stainless steel pliers in my mouth and fake
blood ripping out teeth.
I had a whole collection of teeth.
Remember the teeth that people send me through the mail.
I had them in my mouth.
I had them all in my mouth.
I was spitting them out.
I was yanking on the pliers,
like trying to,
it was gnarly.
It sounds awful.
It's awful.
But just the sensation of having cold, hard metal on your molars or on any tooth.
Yeah, it's hammer time.
Can I say something?
I love doing music.
Yeah.
I hate doing music videos.
I was going to ask you because it's...
I hate doing music videos.
Yeah.
But I can't figure out.
It's so much work.
It is, but is it better or worse than a TV show?
Filming a TV show or filming a movie?
Oh, I love doing anything television related.
Okay.
Really?
Music videos are so much work.
Because it's just so long.
And so much money.
Well, that, but yeah.
But the process is not very enjoyable.
Video,
video,
music videos?
I don't think it is.
Like video games,
which was nice and short,
turned out beautiful.
Even that was a short day.
I still was like,
yeah,
Yellow Cloud,
which was a big production,
Puppets.
Did you do one day?
Yeah.
One day.
Like,
where's me out,
dude?
And I don't know why,
something,
I love making the songs. I love playing them. But when to a video to me it's a um it's a means to an end
because yeah you know i love i love our managers and they're like you know if you want people to
hear your music you got to give them something to look at which i know makes perfect sense
look at these legs look at the legs when the music video's out i love it but the process of
making it is so hard
but you know what this is an industry where i constantly battle with things i don't want to do
yeah but i think that's any industry i didn't want to do this today
i don't want to do this right now yeah i don't i mean it's it it's such a weird thing because
it's like i i agree 100 i want the video. I want the video. I love the video.
I love the song.
I love it.
Love it.
Love that it's there.
Love that it's going to be there.
But like knowing the night before, like it's tomorrow.
I got to be in a wig by 9am pretending to sing my own music like over and over and over.
And you know what else it is?
When I hear other people's music that inspires me, that makes me want to lip sync, I get
to feel it.
And when I made this song, I don't feel it as hard.
Because a woman's voice
and something fun to lip sync to,
it buoys me.
Yeah. Let me ask you this
because this is something we had
or I had a hard time with.
So a male voice in a female
presentation, the dissonance
between that is...
You think you have a male voice?
The dissonance between that is.
You think you have a male voice?
I'm talking hypothetically.
I wish I had a female voice like Tatiana.
Oh, yeah.
I know.
She can drop right into that female Unclockable audio register Yeah
You need to do like the
Felicity Huffman Transamerica tapes
This is that
You can train
You can train it
But I mean
At 38
No I don't
I think
That ship has sailed
Yeah
And burned down
But like
I'm not even talking about
That's not the desire even It's like, say you get like a nice resonant tone in a male
voice, but then you have this female presentation in drag. Like, do you, does that ever like weird
you out at all? Well, I think that out of drag, I have a little bit of a gay voice even when I'm
singing. And so in drag drag a lot of times people's
comments are i like your voice because it sounds like both oh okay because like i have a deep voice
but when i sing it's a little bit breathy a little bit gay like when i say video games i know to me i
sing it like a woman sings it even though i have a male voice and so i think there's somewhere in
the middle somewhere in the middle all right that makes middle. All right. That makes sense to me.
When I'm not in drag,
I don't sing like Trixie sings.
Wait, say that again?
When I'm not in drag,
I don't sing the same as like Trixie sings.
Okay.
Because when I'm in drag,
it's a lot more like,
where do you sing?
My tongue is out,
rolled down the street.
A lot of saliva.
Wet mucus.
I'm jerking my pussy.
I got three fingers
shoved up my hole.
My front hole.
My front butt.
Your front.
Oh.
Oh.
Let's take a break.
Okay.
Hey, listen.
We're standing by.
Call in.
Yeah.
This is episode,
I think, seven?
Oh, yeah.
How about this?
We're a new podcast
and since we started,
we already broke
top 10 Apple podcasts.
Is that out of all the podcasts?
Yes.
That's incredible.
It was out of all of them.
Number one is Michelle Obama.
And let me just say this, bitch, you better watch your back.
Becoming.
Mama, we're coming for you.
I'm unbecoming.
I mean, that's pretty incredible.
But also, I mean, I would say a testament the the rabidness rabidity yes of our fans
it doesn't have to do with us being funny good or smart no it's the fans beings engaged to such
an insane level that they'll we will they'll just fucking yeah and let me just address this i love
that number some of the number one comments are i wish there was video no you don't it but let me
tell you we do two or three four but how many shows we do with video? I'm on YouTube with a new video at least twice a week,
three times between Netflix,
Netflix,
the cosmetics.
Yeah.
You're not hurting for videos.
You're not hurting for videos,
but that's like,
I think I just equated to the same like sentiment as,
Oh,
I wish this was longer.
No,
you don't.
No,
you don't.
And also if you want a podcast that you can watch,
um, that's a video. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a podcast. Yeah. And we do those too. No, you don't. And also, if you want a podcast that you can watch, that's a video.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not a podcast.
Yeah, and we do those too.
We do.
Yeah, we do them together even.
But if you guys would ever, maybe we would someday do something where we film us for like a special moment.
Just the waist down.
And nude.
Actually, that would be really fun.
Just legs?
Just legs.
Colonoscopy.
Just legs and then maybe like a googly eye.
You know what I mean? We'll kind of, we can customize
the feet or we'll talk it over. I want to wear a
Swarovski stone on my piss slit.
No, no, not cry. No, just legs.
Oh. PG, you know.
Sorry. No gluten.
Have you had a favorite episode so far of the ones we've done?
Just a little check in. I haven't gotten around to listen to them yet.
Oh, really?
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
No, I liked, which was my favorite?
The Wesley Woods one was really good.
The kimchi one made me, Dirty Ted and Stephanie.
Oh, Dirty Ted and Stephanie is probably, yeah.
Kimchi was fantastic.
Fina was great.
Fina had a really soothing voice.
Definitely.
Like almost like, ugh.
Fantastic. And then, yeah, I don. Definitely. Like almost like, ugh. Fantastic.
And then, yeah,
I don't know. I really like the podcast.
I like doing it. I do too.
If you guys would like us to keep doing it,
please share, listen,
comment, rate, subscribe.
Tell a friend. Write a letter. And on iTunes, if you
comment and like it, it just, it goes up
the, so. The what?
When do we start making money?
Yeah.
Can I get a dollar, please?
Can I have a dollar?
And if you have any guests you want us to have, that would be something I'd be interested
in.
I know that they do.
I know that they do.
Please comment like with your, you know, if it's not, if somebody outside of the realm
of drag race who, you know, who's like a notable in the beauty or whatever industry let us know
yeah especially on twitter tag this celebrity and tag us and maybe we can link up that way
because we've already run out of friends yeah i mean it's like yeah bare bones we're scraping
the bottom of the barrel at this point all right bye goodbye Bye.