The Basement Yard - #174 - The White House Dinner Menu
Episode Date: January 28, 2019This week we're talking about the delicious, delightful, wondrous, & expensive white house dinner menu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the basement yard. What's up Danny? What up y'all? What's going on?
I'm just living life. Yeah doing my thing with that shaved-ass face. I know I look like a Puerto Rican babies, but she's kind of oh, yeah
Got anything what happened? What happened to it?
I went to the barber that I usually go to yeah, I enjoy him. He's a nice guy
Of course usually cuts my hair pretty well. Uh-huh decided to give me a shape up of my beard and my goatee and
Basically made me look like I was bad and clean up for like the Boston Red Sox
I look like David Ortiz nice, so it was like straight here straight here. Everything was a box
It looked like there was a little box on my face
I just didn't like the way look like Lin Manuel was his name Lin when look Lin Manuel Miranda. That's one. Yeah
But worse right like it was super straight. I looked like Robinson Cannell
All right, you know like he has like the thing like perfect like that. Yeah, not for me
You're still bad in 300 though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but
When he did it
I have to take my glasses off when I go and get a haircut so you couldn't really see so I couldn't really see
That's the problem, right? I know you gotta bring your contacts. I know and I was as soon as it was done
I put my glasses on I was like, oh no
yeah
and then
He was just like oh, what's wrong with the wrong. He's like this nice Russian guy
I was like dude like
You fucked my shit up to me. Yeah, fuck my shit up and he was like, what do you mean?
What do you mean? I was like, yo, this is mad straight. I've never had it this straight like fuck fuck my shit up, man
I was like, I'm still gonna pay you but like I don't know this. This is a fire
So you broke up your barber. Yeah, I did I did I did and it's been like a good like six months seven months with them
Oh, yeah, it's pretty decent relationship. Yeah, like it was good
I actually like him he goes out of his way to get me in the chair over other people cool with it
But this was a fire of offense
You can't do that
That's the one thing girls. You have to know it's the one thing guys really do care about is our fucking haircuts and no way
Our beard's looking shit
Yeah, I
Whoa, I'm cracking over here. Yeah
Yeah, yeah fucking beard. Yeah, I care about it. Yeah, but now but now I think I'm just gonna grow my beard out for mad long
Like he's gonna force gump it. Yeah, like six months seven months
All right, I like that and bring it let it bush out. Yeah, cuz this this isn't working
That's not great. No, I don't like it. No, I don't like you without facial hair. I feel like it makes me look ugly
No, not ugly. It takes away. It takes I feel like also though makes my face look less fat when I have a beard
Yeah, you know what I'm saying shape to add some shape to it
So it kind of like brings out my my jawline just look a little on circumcise this all that's what it is
But it's fine. Yeah, you know, you see that there's a Netflix special on the American circumcision
What the fuck is that? I don't know, but I might have to check it out
Why because it's it's about like circumcising babies, but but not religiously
Affiliated circumcisions like just cuz you want your kid to be snipped. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yes
But so like wait, isn't it only Jewish people who like do it religiously or is that or am I way off?
No, no, I think um
I think
Do Catholics do it too? Yeah, I think Catholics all Catholics do it too. Well, I'm circumcised. I got cut. Yeah, I gotta shape up
Yeah, you got it wasn't because of God and like
No, it's because your mom didn't want you to have a weird dick
I don't know. It's the norm. I never that's a weird conversation to ask
I know I should call my mom right now. I'm like, why did you circumcise me? Yeah, you should at some point ask her
Should I just call her now? Yeah, all right
No, because my brother got circumcised and my mom saw how painful it was like what he went through
And we I didn't get circumcised. I mean, you're a baby. I'm glad you did it then and not like, you know
Six months ago, but she was just like, I don't I don't want I don't want to see him go through that pain
This is gonna be fantastic. I hope she answers. Yeah, I hope she's gonna answer. I think what time is it?
Yeah, she should be out of work
Oh my god
This is intense. It is intense. I think she'll have a good reason. I don't think she will probably not
She'll be like, because your brothers are
Hey, you know, because you know, it's a thing that we tend to do. What's she doing? Mom, pick up your phone
What if I was dying and my mom's not picking up my phone? You never noticed they never pick up
Unbelievable, you know what it is. My mom doesn't care about me. No, she does. She does. She'll call back
She'll call my penis off when I was younger. It's true. And now she's not picking up my phone call
She'll call back. She'll call back. She's not gonna call back. But anyway, we'll we'll get to that
She does call back. We'll jump right back. We'll jump right back into that. But um, anyway, before we move forward
I just want to shout out our patreon if you guys want to support the show and thank you to everyone who's been
Supporting the show. We got a lot of new people since last week
Um, we just got over 700 for the first time for the first time. Yeah
And our patreon is basically where you can sign up and get a bonus episodes and you know extra content
We do a bi-weekly segment called. Uh, what the fuck does patreon want?
Uh, where we answer questions that people send in so go check it out. It's patreon.com slash the baseman yard patreon spelled
patron.com slash the baseman yard
Um, and there's extra episodes every month as well. Yes
Exclusive episodes that nobody else in the world can see unless you are a patron. So yeah, there's that too
I bet my mom's not a patron because she doesn't first she cuts my dick
Then she doesn't support our patreon
Then she doesn't pick up my phone call and hasn't called me back and it's been over 40 seconds
I would I would text her and be like you need to please call me back. No, I'm not gonna do that. She was so scared
And then she'd get pissed. She'd be like you call me about your fucking penis. What do you think's the reason why she did it?
Thomas
I don't uh, I don't I feel like I should know that. Yeah, you should know if I think we all are yeah
So it was probably just a family thing. Yeah, it was just a tradition. Yeah
All right, but I want to know the beginning of the tradition like why did we start doing it?
Probably because it was the norm
You know, I feel like there's a there's a bad
Like cloud over on circumcised dicks. I don't get it
I mean, it's not a cloud. I don't think anyone care. I mean, no, they care not not my cup of tea
Yeah, you know I'm saying if I had if I had to go that route if I had to go down the dick route
You know, I don't know if I'm gonna. I'm a neat guy though. I like I like organization
So it looks a little neater. It looks like you organize. I'm a little more of a wild card fits my personality more for sure
You know, you know, you don't you don't mind, you know, a little bit of clutter. No, no, no, it's fine
Exactly keeps me warm warmer in the in the in the winter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
You're warmer. No, they do say that if you're on circumcised you have more pleasurable orgasms. That's true
Is that really true? I I believe it is like there's more nerve endings in the uh skin or whatever
No wonder so cool that you get to I guess so I just never looked at it as something like
To like I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm on circumcised, but like I've never I've never looked at it as something that like
Was judgeable
What I feel like people like make fun of people for being on circumcised. Oh, I don't think so
I honestly think
No one really cares like it's easy to make a joke about it because it's like that thing is a little strange
It's a little weird looking, you know, but wait, I think there's more uncircumcised people in the world. So maybe I'm strange
Yeah, probably right probably
Now I want to watch that documentary
But do I really want to watch a long documentary about penis? I don't know
And I don't I'd be weirded out if it was about baby penis. Yeah
That's way too much time to I'll watch a youtube video, but I'm not going to watch a documentary about it
You know for sure youtube documentary all the way, you know, they sell like 25 minutes
Yeah, I don't know a baby dick, you know, they sell
Circumcision practice kits on amazon
Yeah, what are you practicing on toys like like a rubber baby dick. I guess you gotta learn how to do it
Yeah, I mean, I would I would think that they keep that confined
In the walls of a school or something not just on amazon for the world to purchase
I wonder like does a rabbi cut your penis?
Yeah, right
Rabbi didn't cut my penis. No, no, no, no, but like if you're jewish is a rabbi snip your penis. I don't know
I've heard I've heard some things. I got a text not from my mom
um
No, I've heard some things about um
You know rabbis
Sucking penises of babies shut your fucking mouth and listen this isn't this is a religious practice that they do
No pun intended
What'd you say? It's a shut your fucking mouth. Yeah, no
Um, so they they like this is not this doesn't happen every single time obviously
But did they do it to like get it to stop bleeding or something? Yes, it says the process has the
His mouth directly on the circumcision wound to draw blood away from the cut
Sucking baby peen peen. I don't know if this is something that they like I don't want to
Someone's gonna suck my baby's peen peen. I'm good son. I'm listen
I am not
Going I'm I'm just saying it's a thing. Right. I don't know if it's something that still happens and and the story
I'm not gonna represent the entire jewish community because I don't know right, but I know that it happened at some point
In that religion, there's a fact maybe like the like the highest level of like the super religious people are doing it
I don't know but hey, you know, that's too much. I'm just saying
I'm just saying it's a little much. It's a little much. It looks much for me. If I cut my finger
All right. Yeah, let's let's keep that's that's it. I'm not even a fan of that. It's also my mouth
Yeah, I don't want old rabbis penis on my boys peen peen. I don't uh when I say that
I don't know why I said it. It's all right. I'm in trouble. You're not doing anything wrong. It's a fact
Yeah, I mean, let's dude if we go back to our fucking ancestors. They're all having sex with pages
What we're italian
Pages. Yeah, they would have little boys that go around and do the do chores for them and have orgies with them
What are pages like a page? They say like a messenger, bro. I was thinking pages like we're fucking books
I was like, what do you mean we're fucking books? No, you never like uh, you never did like a model un and like growing up pages
They're like pages. They say the little messenger boys. No. Yeah. I mean, you know little boys
We're getting why are little boys so sought after I don't know this guy's crazy
It doesn't make sense to me. I just I I don't see
I could not probably if you go back to the bit
I'm sorry. I didn't cut you off. If you go back into the history history history history history history books
Disgusting stuff. It's all about just like pound little boys be ages. I know why is that happening? I don't I don't know
It's my least favorite group. It is
No, like no lie. Yeah, you know
Little boys are annoying. Yeah
Let I want you as far away from me as possible. You're an asshole. So you could borrow your phone. Do you have games?
Get the fuck out of here you loser. Yeah, I know give them a noogie and send them on their way. Yeah
Babies are great babies are great, you know fucking people our age are kind of cool. I guess
Old people are hilarious
But little boys
You think old people get like the past to be like
Racists and stuff because they're old
I don't think they should but they do right? You know what it is. They don't
There's a lot of mexicans around here. All right, nana
Okay, take it easy. You know what's funny everyone has
Like grandparents that are like just so racist and have no idea
I never did though like my my grandparents my grandma was like super irish
And my other grandparents all my grandparents are dead by the way, so right
You can't go looking for them
If you want to get mad at them, but no they they were never had never said anything like that
But I have been around my friends grandparents and they just say stuff and I'm like
I gotta go. I gotta go to the bathroom. Yeah, I just want to get out of here. I can't
You know when I was a kid it was all white people here now. There's so many mexicans around
I'm like grandma. Stop stop stop stop just
I remember I showed my but the crowd royal down. Yeah, right? I just feel like they get a and they don't even know what they're saying
Yeah, I'm like why I don't know
Dude old people can crush
Alcohol too. You know what I said? They could also I feel like old people could crush you to the core
Like they could like they could make you feel so bad about yourself
No, yeah
No, not one old person ever has made me feel like
Not well, were you around your grandparents a lot?
My grandma she lived like over here. So I she would babysit us
She wouldn't crush they would never crush my soul, but they would crush like my like my parents. So I've crushed her soul
I've lied to her a lot
Have you ever lied and said your grandma was dead when she wasn't? No, but I did say she fell down
I was at work, bro. I used to call out of work when I worked at this pizzeria over here. Uh
I used to call out of work
Like an hour before just because it was a gorgeous day out when everyone was at the park playing basketball
I'm like, bro. I'm not going out of the fuck. But yo, I can't come in and I would just have like excuses
And I remember this one time I was at work, bro. I was there
And it was like a slow night. I'm like, you know, I'm wasting my time here and like whatever. So so I just like
rushed in
When I came back from my delivery. Can you do it? Can you do it for us now?
I probably not without laughing because it's so ridiculous. I had to
Get in the character for a second. I had to hype myself up like
You know, like get a little jogging so you get like your blood pumping. I'm the I'm the boss. I'm making pizza
Got a delivery boy out there now come in here and tell me about your grandma falling down. Come on
I actually didn't do it too frantically, right? You know, it's too frantic. It's fake. Yeah, because if it's too frantic
You're like, can you like you freaking me out of here? It's needed in the pizza. Yeah, that's better
This is looks like you're like rubbing the tables nipples or something
um
No, but I just walked in I was like, yo Ralph, I really got to go right now
I was like my grandma just fell down and she needs me to like help her out
My mom and my dad are like not around to like do whatever. So I just got to go
And I just like yo, I like I just kept being like, yo, I got I'm like, I'm leaving
What did he say?
I didn't like leave it up to him because I feel like if you if you if you leave it up to them
Then it's like why are you even asking me? Yeah, I told him like, yo, I have to go like I'm leaving because my grandma fell
And then I went home. That was pretty convincing
No, I didn't even like really do that was good. Oh, all right. I would have bought that. Oh, I'm a methodical
Oh, get out of here. Go for it. Go get your grandma
Yeah, no, but
Never told that but one of my friends marcos. He's like, yo, I've killed numerous
Like grandmas grandmas. Yeah, I've got aunts and uncles been dead for years
Over and over and over again. No, I don't like doing that. I also like I love when people are like, don't say that
I'm like what like I have the power to strike someone dead because I joked around
Give me a break. Oh, this person that's 70 years older than me is gonna die soon. What a fucking uh, you know, that's my fault
Yeah, this person's 87 years old. Yeah, you know my grandma
She was an absolute animal got after it. Yeah, she lived all the way down here
She would walk to the supermarket
that was
Like on dipmars old people love to walk and you know, she has so much pride. Yeah, might just get on the bus, dude
No, she's just tracking it. There was one time she came to to babysit us
And there was a crack in like the sidewalk and she had fell and fucked up her chin meat was hanging, bro
And the bus driver was driving my pulled over the bus was like helping her she got into our house
And she just took a napkin. It was just like
All right, what are you guys doing just held it on her chin nothing didn't go to the hospital
No, she was her face was bruised for like five years or whatever if you seen like a world war
You're getting over a meaty chin
Yeah, you're getting over that meanwhile if I fuck up my chin
I'll be crying. I'm like leave. I gotta go. I gotta go get stitches. Have you ever got stitches?
Yeah, I got stitches once I got stitches a couple times. Yeah
Where that's not a fun thing. Well, where well, I've got my mouth
Inside your mouth. Yeah, and then I got on my foot because I had uh
When I was younger I dropped a rock a boulder on my foot and my nail like went into my toe and I stood up like that
Yeah, why'd you drop a boulder on your foot?
No one does it like uh, this is all right sick pal. No, but I'm saying how
How I was at it was in jersey at my at my cousin's house
And I dropped it on my foot by accident. I was like picking it up my mom's calling me. Oh, here we go
Hello
Hi, yeah, hi, uh, my so I'm on the podcast right now and I'm just wondering what was the reason why you circumcised me
Oh god, I just got out of the dentist. I'm dumb and I can't even talk
What she got out of the dentist. I just walked out of the dentist
You're not gonna get off that easy. I need to know
Uh, I wanted you to look like your father
I told you
I told you I told you I wanted you to look like your father. That's great. It's and it's a family thing
They want everyone's penis to look the same. I guess so
Also, I heard that, you know, it was
It was a good thing for you know hygiene and that kind of thing. Yeah, all right
I appreciate that. That's where she felt bad when she said yeah, did you did you watch the procedure?
Don't wait. Oh, did you let them take me to a back room and mutilate your child?
Yeah
I appreciate it mom
Were you at the dentist you got your tooth, uh, some oh my god, I'm so dumb. I won't be able to speak for days
All right, hear me. I sound like an idiot. Yeah, you do
Um, all right, cool. Thank you. I appreciate it mom. I just need to know
I love you too
So he told you it's a family thing. It's my mom. That's it. That was great
Yeah, my mom's another one. She's she's a she's a savage too
But like hasn't you would have no idea like when you meet her. She's like, all right
It's just this woman who's like a nice woman like whatever but there's been times where people like
She would be home with all of us and when we were babies
and she'll call my dad and be like
Joe
I think someone's breaking into the house
And he's like what and he's like he was a fireman
So he was like, you know out doing whatever was at the firehouse and she's like, yeah
I think someone's breaking in the house and he's like
All right, she goes. I'm gonna go see hangs up on him and he's like, what the fuck
And she just goes downstairs
She might have been pregnant with me like she's nuts. Who's in here? Yeah, what are you doing daddy?
What are you doing? You know this is in your house. You know old old people have no fear
It's weird. They're fearless. It's wild
like my dad will like do like
Electrical shit around the house not even an electrician. I'm like, what are you doing?
I'll figure right out. Yeah, I'm like, what do you do?
Yeah, my dad once was cooking just being like my dad always sings when he when he cooks. He's like
Yo, he cut his finger
This thing was like hanging off. Mm-hmm didn't even go to the hospital
Wrapped it in a towel and kept cooking
Yeah, and the towel was fucking soaked with blood
I was like dad, you have to go to the hospital. He said I'm not I'm not doing it
Yeah, he's like, there's gonna do what it's gonna heal on its own. It took like seven months for it to stop bleeding
It would constantly reopen. His finger was all fucked up. Yeah, I was like dad. What are you doing?
I know my my dad. I told you when he had his heart attack
He like didn't want to go to the hospital
He was like, no, I'm good. I was like dad. No, it doesn't work like that
What it's over the heart attacks over
Someone gave him like a nitroglycerin tablet or whatever. It's like supposed to like save you or whatever
And he was like, no, I'm good and they were like, no
They're fucking airlifted. I'm over there. Dude. Yeah parents. That's a gangster. You know what it is
It's not parents. It's that generation and older
Yeah, you know because they didn't really have a lot of shit and they had to be crafty and self-sufficient and like whatever
We're a couple of fucking pussy. Yeah, I know
But do you think that we have more or less to worry about?
Like on a daily basis than they did way more it was a way simpler time
Well, yeah, no your children are way more susceptible to
Bad things. Yeah, because back then you had what'd you have?
polio
And you know, I don't think that polio. I don't know
Are you gonna vaccinate your kids
We're opening up lots of boxes today. Oh, yeah, this is gonna be a controversial. I think so
I'm gonna vaccinate Mike. What are you nuts? I want my kid getting chicken pox and fucking
Oh, no, they're supposed to get chicken pox and small. I mean smallpox and fucking polio polio
Yeah, wait, why don't they say you don't vaccinate your kids because it gives them down syndrome or something
They said they could lead to like autism and like shit like autism. That was the one. Yeah, I uh
Some say there's studies behind it. Some say they don't I don't have any in front of me
All I know is I don't want my kid to catch polio. Yeah, so
We're gonna do that. Yeah, you know, probably, you know, probably gonna vaccinate the kid. Probably gonna vaccinate the kid. Yeah, you know
I cannot wait to see what these comments look like
I think we got to the point where we don't care that much
I I hope that you know, you know, it's crazy too because I feel like we say a lot of shit on this show
Yeah, and
And people like for the most part get that we're just joking and being idiots and like, you know, whatever
Just trying to be funny, but some people like don't
Did you see how many we got for like the do not resuscitate thing? You know many inboxes I got dms of
like from nurses
Being like, all right, here's a breakdown. This is how we do this. All right. I don't mind that I was like, yeah
But they were like it really like bothers me like of uh, your lack of knowledge on this topic
I was like never claimed to be a genius. Yeah, never claimed to be an expert
This is a show with two idiots. Yeah, if you're coming here for like
DNR information wrong place Frankie once said he could beat up an alligator with his bare hands on this show
What are you expecting to look nothing? You are going to be dumber after listening to this episode, but you're gonna laugh
Yeah, that's the trade-off. All right, you're gonna laugh gonna be dumber though. Yeah, you know, that's what's gonna happen
What a fucking shocking story two guys with barely high school educations get scientific fact wrong
Oh my god, what a surprise. Yeah, what a shocker. That is shocker. That is so fucking funny
What was I just about people worried about that the fucking government shutdown you giving me all this shit
Recession is gonna hit in the summer. I don't even know what that means government shutdown. Yeah, I don't know either
It was a strike. I thought everything was free. I thought I was walking around and I was like do I even pay for this
The government's like, uh, yeah, no, we're done. It's like, no, you don't you're you don't done. No, you don't
The government is not allowed to done. Okay. Isn't weird. It's like the government shuts down. Isn't like almost tax season two
I don't know what to do. Do I not pay?
I gotta pay the government when they're shut down. I'm paying them for days off now
If I'm in Home Depot and all the cashiers leave everything's free. Yeah. All right. All right. It's like come on
I'm taking all the the wood
The word government shutdown is way
scarier than it actually is I feel like
I don't even like like you said, I don't know how to even explain that when someone's like, oh, you know about the government shutdown
I'm like, I mean I've heard of it, but I haven't seen any of it, you know
And does someone just go and like grab a lever or just like
All the lights go out the fucking the white house is run on generators now. Yeah, it's like candle it
Yeah, I can speak in the white house. I feel like I should know a little more about anything. Yeah, you know
Um, we should definitely know more about the government stuff. Yeah, speaking of that. Did you see how?
um
the Clemson Tigers the the football team they won the national championship so they they went to the white house and
Usually there's like a nice meal and this whole thing and everyone's wearing suits
and trump tweeted that
You know since because of the shutdown. Yeah, I guess there wasn't any all the chefs were like, well, I'm out now
So apparently government shutdown means there's no food in the white house because
he
Bought a thousand hamburgers or how's he he called them hand dergers
What do you call them hamburgers hamburgers hamburgers couldn't spell hamburgers
He's like I got everyone a thousand hamburgers. They're the best clients. I got them four different places
Best hamburgers the best american american american hamburgers not china made in the united
Made in the us of a hamburgers
He bought a thousand hamburgers and then he wrote parentheses. I I paid
Bro, you're the president you spent a thousand dollars. It wasn't cheap
But let's guess what I bought everything each was a dollar
Most people could afford a thousand hamburgers if they wanted dude, like I've seen youtubers
Buy a thousand hamburgers and just give them out. Yeah, this guy's like he wants credit for buying a thousand hamburgers
I love that fast food
I love that he took the picture with all the food with that shitty ingredient of his by himself just like
What a scumbag this guy is
It's like, you know, you had a guest come into the white house his five-star hotel is fucking down the road
Like he's trolling the government by doing that. He has to be
Go tigers. Listen government shut down. I got you some mcdonald's beat max
Hamburgers right thousand hamburgers then
Then he goes it was all gone in like 15 minutes. They're big eaters love the tigers
Come on. What do the tigers want? What do tigers eat hamburgers? I knew they were gonna love them, so
The president
But
The president is asleep over the president
When you pick the kids up after school when you pick them up and a boss of bottom there
3 a.m. You just left a bar with the whole football team. You guys are drunk as hell
Hey, what do you guys say we go back to my place? I'll get white castle
We're gonna get a couple crazed cases all night get some hamburgers and it's be a great night
The only thing missing from that picture was like five hookas. Why was the team not in the picture?
I don't know. There was there was a picture there was a picture with the team where the there was like
It was like a buffet bro. If I was on that team, I'd be fucking dying laughing like yo, we're in the white house
I know like eating wendy's the president's sleep here
And we're eating wendy's
No one could go get anything
No one no one in this building
Send them made he had he had mcdonald's there. He had wendy's there
Which if I'm going to a tray
What if you show up and there's there's fast food at the white house
First of all, all bets are off. I'm like shotgunning a beer in the awful office. If that's okay
If there's fast food around I'm shotgunning a beer and I'm drinking out of like abraham lincoln's pipe
Like I'm doing like mad shit. Yeah, you know what I'm saying
You know, I'm doing a whole lot of weird shit. Yeah, if you brought me here to eat fast food
I want to see where monica lewinsky blew bill clinton, right?
You know, I want to go in that closet where the dress was I want to see everything
Right. I want to smoke the cigar that he shoved up her snooze
Wait, what?
He put a cigar up her snooze. Which one who bill clinton? Oh, he did that. Yeah monica lewinsky
Sharing a cigar with her post. No, you just gave gave her the gave her the business with it. There you go
Sharing the president did that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, no, there's some fucking wild shit. Can vaginas smoke
Yeah
All right, let's go with that
I think they can but they can't smoke like for real. They could like intake
We're talking about them like they're a separate thing. No, because yeah
Have you ever sat in that perfect position where you could suck air into your butthole?
You know what I'm talking about
Yeah, I do
When I have a stomach ache, I got to go like
Face down ass up. Yeah, I start breathing with my ass and then I start blowing farts out. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, dude
Oh my god
If you can breathe a fart into your ass, I'm pretty sure you smoke a cigar
You can take a puff of cigar with your ass
In the right position, dude
When you nail that position though, that suck fart position
It's unbelievable
It's a whirlwind in there
You can feel the air. You can feel the air like hit your fucking chest
Your butt just fills up like a balloon
Ah, man, you know what I used to get it when I would wake up in the morning and like
I end up in like a like a downward dog type position. I'm like, I'm sucking air through my ass. Yeah
I'm 100% sucking air through my butt. Listen
I don't mean to get like
When you're at the perfect angle, you know what I'm saying like a fucking protractor, right?
You're at the perfect angle. You can basically breathe with it
You know, like those it's like it comes in and it immediately goes out as a fire. It's like
We have to stop because I'm gonna throw up, you know, like those fucking like
Star Wars those doors that open like this
Like that. That's what it looks like. Please. Please. Please stop. Oh
All right, before we move forward a little bit. Let's get to the sponsors here
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Eric Gus
People were giving you a lot of flak about how you picked up your laptop last week by the way
How'd I pick it up? You're just like
Oh, like how I like a lion picks up a
It's like it. How are you gonna do? How are we gonna do? So anyway drinking beers and um, no
I was gonna say I would definitely go to the wendy's tray
Oh
If there's jbc's in there
Junior bacon cheeseburgers
Yo big jbc guy
I'm definitely not going to wendy's. I don't fuck with wendy's. You're going to mcdonald's over wendy's
If he had frosties, I'd be in there. No wendy's burgers are pretty good. If it burger king was burger king. Yeah
I don't think so burger king has the best burgers if burger king was there. I'm going
But what I saw was mcdonald's and wendy's wendy's in the pictures
wendy's wendy's handburgers
I keep forgetting this guy said that did you keep that tweet up? I deleted it
Oh my god, I wish I could I wanted to read it. Hold on. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. It's the internet
Oh, it is never gone trump clemson tweet
Dude, oh my god, all kind of hamburgers for the guys it said uh put some cheese on there, bitch
What do you mean? It's a hamburger
Yo, a hamburger is gross
What no cheese. Oh, yeah, and I'm not a fan. It's like, what are you? What are you trying to be healthy or some shit?
Here it is great being with the national champion Clemson tigers last night at the white house like that do it over
Great being with the national championship
Great being with the national champion Clemson tigers last night at the white house
Because of the shutdown I've served them massive amounts of fast food. I paid
Over a thousand hamburgers, etc
Within one hour. It was all gone great guys and big eaters
Yo, honestly
That's one of the best tweets of all time
I love how he talked about their moral like like who they were as people great guys big eaters
Not one burger was left
Not one burger was left over
I thought I overbought I thought I overbought burgers. I was wrong. Oh my god, man
That was this is one of the funniest things. I think I think like
That's a great plug though like free plug for like wendy's and mcdonald's and shit though. Is it the plug you want though?
I mean
I can't get over the fact like does anyone that sounds like no one
Understanding you went to the white house in a suit and the president gave you wendy's dude
I'd be like, dude
Oh my god, I just don't understand. It's like he must have forgot they were coming
Tigers are here we have nothing to eat go get the burgers
Oh my god, I paid
Congratulations, dude speaking of paying. I want to bring this up around the thing of money
Because I I almost forgot. Yeah, Netflix raising their price
For what?
Their service. Yeah, so it's like it's like it's like nine dollars. No, I don't know. It's like 11 dollars. Okay
and um
They're going up to
I want to say 13. I'm just gonna check but it's 13. Did it happen already?
I haven't paid for Netflix ever. I don't have an account. I don't have any account for anything
I get it for free. I get it for free because of my Verizon
Oh, they just like handed over they pay for your netflix
Their stock went up 21 dollars, by the way. Who netflix
354 dollars a share
When we talk about how they never they don't make money
Well, they make money. It's just that they spend a lot of money. I don't know exactly
I know like uh twitter and instagram aren't like profitable right if i'm not mistaken. Um
Because they don't really make money, but they you know, yeah, whatever they have a lot of value, but um
Yeah, netflix obviously makes a lot of money if they have millions of users, but they spend a lot of money
Didn't they give like a billion dollars to like martin scorsese and like
Robert De Niro to be in like a movie or something? Well, that's what i'm saying though is that
This is this is why it's going up
Well, yeah, honestly, it's it's worth it though. What is it 14 15 the most expensive plan?
Like if you have the one like where you could have it on mad tv's and shit
Like I think it's like up to like eight devices. I could be wrong. Don't fucking jump down my throat, please
Um, or do you want to um? Hey
How far do you think you could deep throw a banana?
You think you could hold banana down your throat?
What are we doing? I just want to know we're talking on netflix and i know i know but i got thrown off my throat
You know how like that was like a thing on instagram where girls were just like ha ha banana challenge and they just
Never heard of it. No, yeah, it was it was like a thing for
Is a thing for a little bit. I just want to say
What a dumb idea dude bananas break like this. Yeah, that's true
Is you're in there and if you like cough it's gonna break
And then you're screwed if you swallow a banana hole and poop it out will come out as a banana. No, you fucking moron
That's terrible. No one reason I asked is because my dog took that shit
Remember I sent you that picture. Yeah, but that was a rope. All right, so my so my dog ate a rope and then a rope toy
We'll get a shit a rope toy. We'll get back to netflix in a second wrong
so Eli
ate a rope apparently I don't know how he did that which was
We measured it
10 and a half inches long. So here's what happens. He's not like no exaggeration. Like I saw it. Yeah
It was 10 and a half inches long. We measured it. So
I let him outside
On the terrace to go pee and poop and he pees
But I can still see that like he's like looking for poop like on the back of his butt. Yeah, so i'm like
Wow, what's going on like every once in a while. He'll get stuck or something. Yeah, or he'll eat
Hair. Yeah, and he'll get stuck to his butt. So I was like, oh, it might be stuck to his butt
I put a glove on
To take the shit out of his ass
I'm pulling and I swear to fucking christ
That I felt like a fucking magician pulling the bandanas out of his goddamn sleeve
This fucking piece of shit would not stop going. I said i'm pull. I'm I think i'm pulling like his body out
Yeah, so i'm pulling it out pulling it out pulling it out
10 and a half inches of rope that he ate and swallowed
It's a miracle that he didn't get a blockage
And he was fine and that would require surgery most. Yeah
Yeah, he's he's perfectly fine. I'll tell you what his intestine and colon
Cleaned out. Yeah for sure for sure pristine ace
I could not believe that a dog and my dog's not big dude. I couldn't eat that rope. No
I mean he ate a rope and he shit it out one piece. I didn't want to throw it away. I almost wanted to have it bronzed
That's a little heavy. That's a little much. But yeah, netflix is going up to 16 dollars a month 16
Yeah, that's the worth it. What's the most you would pay for netflix then?
and
Would you cancel other ones?
um
The absolute most I would pay for netflix
And I don't really like saying this because I think they could hear me
it's probably like
45 50 bucks
wow
Yeah
45 dude think about it like netflix has everything their original content is incredible
The documentaries are great. A lot of people get murdered a lot of kids murdering their parents in their sleep
I love those documentaries and then they have like the old shit. They have the office
You know what I'm saying? I think they have friends if I'm not mistaken like they have good stuff
That's probably why I fucking price went up fucking friends. Yeah
Yeah, oh, they just got that right? Yeah, they renewed it. Yeah for like hundreds of millions of dollars
I mean people watch it. How many users do you think they have?
Well, they said that a record like bird box broke some record and it was like 47 million
Jesus like accounts. That's just accounts. So it's not necessarily like eyes
47 million accounts
Watched it in like a week and think about how many accounts are shared too. That's what I'm saying. Yeah
Fuck
So they're making a lot of money
But they're also spending a lot of money on the original content because to my knowledge
They're trying to wean that out for the most part and have only like original content
But their stuff is great 50 bucks a lot though, dude
Yeah, but think about your cable bill
Yeah, it's like my cable bill is like 160 dude if if netflix that's with everything
If netflix had a sports package, I wouldn't have anything else. I would only have netflix
That's it. Like why else would I have anything the only reason why I have cable is for sports
I don't use any of those channels like I'm not sitting here watching like fucking fixer upper
Even though that's a great show and that channel is fucking awesome. Yeah, love it
But I can do without it and pay $50 for a netflix account
Wait, is fixer upper the white guy with the asian wife?
No, that's chip and uh chip and joanne that's chip and wait that what is that that might be fixer upper
That is fixer upper chip and joanne. They got a good they got a good thing going on. They got a good thing going on
Yeah, she's good looking. She's got a lot of kids a lot of kids. He's a good looking guy. Yeah
The fix houses fix houses. She's she's crafty
Yeah, have you watched on netflix the little asian lady that teaches you how to like fix clutter in your house
I saw the preview and I was like I am in love with this little asian lady. Really? She is fantastic
She taught me so much about how to put away clutter
I'm a clutter buck. I'm a clutter buck throw it on me. All right. Lay it on me. So it's soft though. Don't give me a lot of information
I'm not gonna give you a lot of information. She has a specific way that she folds clothes
And she's an asian woman. She's an asian woman. I know they they do that amazing folders
You ever see the video that went viral where it's like some asian woman
She takes like a shirt and it's like beep beep and then just like picks it up and does that and it's like perfect
Yeah, I can't fold clothes for the life of me. Look ahead. No, no, no, no, no
But watch the first episode maybe tonight and you'll see how she does it
She folds she folds them not this way but this way
Up. Yes upward
So you could fit more shirts
Along it's amazing how she does it. She also has with clothes
When you go through them you appreciate them
What so say you have an article of clothing
Yeah, and you grab that article of clothing. Yeah, and you're like
I I love this sweater
I love this sweater. You know, you want to keep it
Okay, but if you grab a shirt and you don't feel a connection to the shirt you should get rid of it
You're you're over cluttering yourself
This is starting to get no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. It makes a lot of sense
It's a little weird. But it makes a lot of sense. Okay. Because it's a really it really is though
It's like how many shirts you think you own that you're just like
I don't need this
Honestly, I periodically go through all my stuff and like give up like make bags and like do I know?
That's what she that's what she says you should do
yeah, I don't pick shirts up like
I just they just don't fit me anymore
But like there's certain articles of clothing you'll look at and be like, uh, this isn't
Yeah, I'll toss those yeah, but like they will sit in my drawer for at least half a year. Yeah, and she's yeah
She's awesome. I love that. I fell in love with a woman
I was watching this documentary about I fell in love with a woman. I fell in love with a woman
I was watching this documentary about the paleo diet. It was called like the paleo way or whatever and she was just this like
Russian woman who like lived on a farm and her hands were gross and she was like cooking
But I was like, you know, I told you like those when your hands are gross and you're cooking you got gross hands
They're like old is like veiny is like, yeah, this is gonna be good something about it
And I was just like, yeah, I love this woman. Well, it's probably got kicked around a little bit in her life
You know what I mean? Not like not physically. I mean like yeah, like seeing her dad like yeah pulled out of this house
And beat up in the street for not, you know pain is debts. Yeah. Yeah, or like trampled by like a tax collector comes. Yeah
We don't know what's gonna happen. Exactly. There's a secret thing in the floorboards
I like that very inglorious bastards ask. Yes
I was yes. Yes. That's exactly where I was going. She has like a brick stove. It's like made out of bricks
Is that on Netflix? Yeah. What's it? What's it called the paleo way the paleo? I'd check it out. Yeah, it was interesting
I've been paleo for a little bit. Yeah
Except for those cookies though. Yeah, that's some girl scout cookies
That's for the love of the game though. I've never had girl scout cookies before for anyone who's listening
I've never had them before so we did a taste test on Santa gata studios youtube channel
youtube.com slash Santa gata studios you guys check that out
Spoiler alert Finmans suck my ass
Sorry, they do. Yeah. Oh not gonna tell you what the number one is you're gonna have to go look find that out, but yeah
God I have so much air in my body right now. It's probably it's probably it's probably from the cookies
I'll get some downward dog on right now and start blasting off now
You know 40 $50 that's a little that's that's what would you go 25 25 for Netflix?
Yeah, so if it was 30 30 dollars you wouldn't do it now. Yeah, you would
Yeah, but like I feel like I have I don't mean this in a certain way, but like I could afford it
Yeah, but I still don't think that's a lot of money. It's a bill. Yo, but think about it
It could be a lot of money to people $50 a month. I understand that fucking health insurance
How many people afford to play a cable bill though and a Wi-Fi bill like if you are poor you can't afford those things for enough
Really, you're right, right? So I'm saying like if you just supplement your cable with
Netflix not supplement. What am I saying? You mean switch switch basically
With with a Netflix account, then you're fine. You don't need to watch TV if you have Netflix
Yeah, yeah, Netflix and Hulu because Hulu is basically TV. You can't get rid of Hulu. They got Seinfeld on there
I know I can't I that's the only reason why I go on that. Can you please get Hulu without ads you fucking maniac?
I'm not paying for Hulu get another account everything on my Apple TV is not mine
Why do I even buy the Apple TV? It was a gift, but why do you I have paid for nothing that has entertained me
Okay, I get that but here's the thing. Why don't you pay a little bit and get the fucking commercials out of there?
You I'm no better than nobody
Why why you knew what you want me to do?
That's the scene in Rocky was talking to his son
It's about the time to get knocked down and get back up. What am I talking about?
I was do that and that ain't you
You're better than that
I was like is this guy talking this to a person? Yeah, you know how old Sylvester Stallone is right now 65 70 no way
Yeah, I guarantee you he kicked the shit out of both of us without question. He can kick the shit out
No, take it easy there, Rocky Dayton one of his daughters has to be like
Yeah, you know he constantly
Yeah, I think he's always like trying
Take it easy sly
Come on
Did you see Creed 2? No, I didn't see Creed 1
Creed was it was good people talked about it like it was absurd. I thought Southpaw was better
That's a Jay Gyllenhaal, right? Yo, he crushed that movie
It wasn't like a great movie, but his performance was unreal and the beginning tearjerker. Yeah, okay
Here's is one thing I don't understand about that movie. Why kill the hot girl so Earl's
Yeah, would she get $10 for that? Yeah, Jesus Rachel McAdams for 45 seconds
Yeah, it's Rachel McAdams, but she had to leave early. She got sick. So we sent her home and killed her. Yeah
Basically spoiler alert. Yeah, you haven't seen her movie from five years ago. Yeah, she goes down
But it's very sad. She crushes that performance too. She's really good at dying
Yeah
Yeah, Rachel McAdams. You said she was hot, right? Oh, yeah, she's hot. So, you know what I'm saying?
She's hot in like every day hair color to yeah. Yeah, she's every day hot. I don't even know what
Every flavor of hot she is but I don't know like what her real hair color even is
Mean girls. I didn't I mean that blonde. She was supposed to look like an idiot, but like yeah, I didn't like her
I didn't like her like that me
You know Lindsay Lohan, however, yeah, Lindsay Lohan was doing pretty good those days. That was the beginning of the end
Yeah, yeah, she's got like a new show out. I think well, I'm not gonna watch that unless it's on Netflix. Yeah
Chachay would you ever you think you give up Netflix for like a month?
It's tough, I don't know it's tough. Yeah, it's tough like Apple music. I could give up. Yeah
Apple music's 999 ripoff or not. I
Mean
There they all are no I think so don't know I'm saying they all are that amount
So how can it be a ripoff? It's the market. All right. Do you think do you think that those music type of apps or ripoffs?
Not really
Not really when you consider the fact that like
You can get anything bro like you could listen to any album, right?
And like if you wanted to listen to an album back in the day, you had to pay $12 just to listen to ten songs
Yeah
So like and have another piece of like another device that to play it
Yeah, it's a little I guess it's worth it. It's kind of a trade-off. It's kind of a trade-off
But it's like all right, so you have 999 a month Apple music or Spotify everybody usually has that yeah, right?
Hulu how much is Hulu? I don't know ads. I think it might be 799. I think with
With ads at 799 no ads like 1199 if I'm not mistaken
So that's $22 now you put 50 on there
$72
That's that's a lot of shit that you're paying an entertainment monthly
Gotta be entertained
It's important
50 bucks a lot. Let's let's settle on this 35. You know, it's not 50 bucks. What?
The baseman yard podcast, which is free. Yes on YouTube. It's free on Spotify
SoundCloud. Yep. Is there is or is it anywhere else? No itunes Apple music. It's on there apple apple
Yeah, there's so it's all free. Yes
So if at any point you feel like you know what since I've been getting all those free content
I'm gonna help support the show you can head on over to patreon.com
Gonna move right forward from that, okay, I'm gonna tell you what I did this weekend
You want to know what I did you already know what I did, but I'm gonna tell you I don't really know what you're referring to
I know like what you do, but I don't know which part you're talking. Oh, no, no, no
I went I took my girlfriend to see Harry Potter and the cursed child. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's like a play, right? Yeah
I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan
That's where you're wrong
This show was very good fire. It was very very good love Harry Potter
You definitely need to go. Yes, like this is like I would say if you love Harry Potter
You need to see that show
It's that long as it's that fucking good. How long is it going dude? It's staying forever. Yeah, it's staying
It's kind of like wicked. Yeah, it's like by the way
Yeah, but like the actual they have like special effects and shit like
They do a really good fucking job. Yeah, it's awesome
Like I said, I'm I'm not I've seen all the Harry Potter movies, but like I'm not like
Hardcore Harry Potter fan. Yeah, but I was like, you know what?
Let me go with the open mind within the first 10 minutes. I was like this fucking show is awesome
Yeah, it was very very good. Nice. Yeah
So I think that you should definitely go and see that. I mean, yeah, I'll check it out. It was two nights though
It's a two nighter. It's a two and a half hour show
We did it on Thursday
And then another two and a half hours on Friday
Hold on yeah, five hours of Potter
Five hours of Potter a
Two nighter. That's a big commitment. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. No plans. You're going for it
Well, you would definitely enjoy it though. I'm telling you I probably would I mean I like
Theater. Yeah, it's cool. That should be the next thing you go to probably
I think I'm gonna go some other places, but you know
No, I mean like a shell
Wait, oh shit. Wait, aren't we going to Sebastian Manic scalco? Yeah
On the 20th that's in five days
Okay
What does that mean?
What what day of the week is that?
Saturday or Sunday?
Why why are you panicking? No, I'm just making sure
Okay, no, all right. We're good. No, I just had to check for what? Because it's my parents 40th anniversary this week. Oh, fuck them. Yeah, I know
I was just making sure like wasn't that day. I was like, I don't know I panicked for a second
Yeah, I know, but um, she's like, sorry. I can't kind of take it 40 years a long time, you know
Hell, yeah, that's longer. That's 10 years longer than I've been alive. They've been married
Good lord
Oh my god, oh Jesus Christ Jesus Christ and the world that we live in
What does that mean? I think that's just something you say after like a long lap. Yeah
Yeah, I love when like no because I try to process everything that we say on here like at once
And then I'm just like this world is fucking crazy. Do you have any like really white?
uh
Relatives yeah, of course
uh
Yo, um
Because not as wide as not on my not on my size
Like even my italian side is like not like all right champ playing. Let's go. Yeah, you know what I mean, but
Oh, I got some sports and champs. Yeah, like on my girl side
She's white. Yeah, like like her family like you get a couple like how's it going?
Yeah, yeah, you get a couple of those. Yeah. Yeah
Because I was gonna say because like sometimes when I'm talking to like some people from my extended family, it's always just like
Yeah
White people love extending that laugh and then just like
I'll tell you
I'll tell you I'll tell you that's another one. The best was that
What was that meme of like a white guy comes out like wipes his hands
Oh, no
He's like when the white dad comes out of the bathroom and he's like wiping his hands on his jeans
He's like you guys ready to rock and roll. It's so fucking true, dude. It is so fucking true. Yeah, I know
That's one of my favorite memes. You guys ready to rock and roll. It's so fucking true. God. It's so funny
And the other one was like white people always have a bag of chips and like get this away from me
Take this away from me. Take these away. Get these away from me. I can't stop eating them. I've been guilty of that
Yeah, 1,000 times. Can I tell you something in confidence?
I mean
I trust them too. They're all I once ate half a bag of chocolate chips
Bag yeah, you know like the bag
Like the little like, you know, like when you get like fun-sized candy on on wait chocolate chips chocolate chips like
Kisses. Yeah, no the little ones that you put on cookies
You ate half of that. I ate a half a bag of chocolate chips once
That's absurd. Dude. It was like like probably like 4,000 calories
Yeah, that might have been the star of the diabetes. I'm just it's a spitball hunt
You want to know what's weird is that day randomly pops into my head from time to time now?
I've once ate half a bag of Nestle's chocolate chip cookies. You know how many fucking chocolate chips are in there?
Like 8,000
I was eating handfuls
of chocolate chips
That's that's insane. That's disgusting. I've done gross things like that though. Have you ever just had a night where you like?
I can't believe you know, I've had nice surprises. I was like, I can't believe I just did that. I remember once
uh
I ordered a large pizza
Which is eight slices
Alana had two
eight six
They're disgusting your face disgusting six like I had my initial two three out the box like bang crushed them. Yeah dead
Good night. Then I'm just like scavenging like through the night like eating another one then eating another one then eating another one
Then I had the real I look I literally looked in the mirror in the bathroom. I was like, I just ate six slices of pizza
Yeah
Disgusting. Yeah, man. I've done I've done shit like that too like when I come when I don't eat cookies anymore because
I stopped having milk. I do. I used to crush cookies and milk like all the time
I had to I didn't have to but I just like if I had a addiction. I guess have you ever crushed a full sleeve aureus?
What?
Like I've literally never
eaten less than that. How many sleeves are in an aureus three? There's three
Yeah, and I've eaten whole like the whole row and then into the second
Yeah, I could definitely and then been like I should I should stop. I don't want to stop
I could I could definitely keep keep it up on a good day. I could eat probably two full full racks
Like two packages. No, no, no
I could eat a package of aureus in a day. Yeah, I mean if I was like going for the record
I could definitely do it. Oh my god. You get so sick
I remember after I ate the chocolate chips like I was a little bit sick
Like I didn't throw up or anything, but I was like that was disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty gross dude and also, uh
So, you know what?
This is bad, but you know gummy bears, right? Yeah, Harry bow gummy bears or whatever
They make a size that's literally I'm
I really think should be illegal because it's so big like a size of a bear or no no no a bag
Yeah, it's so big and it's like all right. Well, like who who is this unless this is for like
Camps. Yeah, like a sleepaway camp like oh, let's just give them this bag, right?
I
Literally someone got me it. I forgot who it was it might have been like my sister or something got me this giant bag
It was like this and this wide that you would get a Costco
There's maybe 10,000 fucking gummy bears in there
Dude, I swear to god for like three days straight. It was just on my coffee table and I was just fucking
shoving these things in my mouth
It was it was probably it was probably equivalent to like smoking a thousand cigarettes. Yeah
Yeah, like all that gelatin it was bad. Oh my god
I can't even imagine what those things are even made out of it's like teeth or something like bones and yeah
What do you know say bones? It's whale bones. Well soap is made out of whale bones the whale bones
Yeah, I was like that's that's got to be wrong dude, but I've had some disgusting eating day pringles the whole that whole thing's done
Easily it without question easily. I'm gonna need a couple glasses of water to get it down
But I'm trying to think of like
If
Pizzas usually the one where it's like
Domino's Pete y'all literally Papa John's pizza
Yo, Papa John's pizza. I used to get two medium dominoes pizzas. Yeah, that's bad and
Crush them. Yeah, that's synastics. Yeah, crush my sinus. Don't don't even get me started on synastics. Cheesy bread
crush that
If if I wasn't on a diet
I probably would call it in right now. I know I'd call I call in the air air drop
Domino's 30 o'clock in the morning 2 o'clock in the morning is like Batman coming to save you
You know the worst part about domino's
And like those and like Papa John's like those like shitty pieces
Is that you get creative with how you're gonna try and kill yourself with these things?
It's like and they get creative because it's like Papa John's it's like, oh, you know
It separates us we cover this whole thing in a garlic butter sauce and not only do we do that
But we also have a side of grease to dip into the thing. So it's like you can clog your arteries at alarming speeds
And not one part of you thinks about that. No, all you do is want it. They're like, why does this taste so fucking good?
I know, you know dominoes
Do you get what kind do you get?
Do you get uh
Like the deep deep dish
Oh, I just get the regular pan crusted or whatever. I get regular or like if I can get like a stuff crust
I'll do that too. Yeah, thin the thin crust not a fan. Not a fan. Not a fan. Don't like it. No
You're gonna go dominoes. You got to go all the way. Yeah. God. I fucking want dominoes so bad
I know I I really do and I don't like I don't crave it at all anymore
So I'm like if I eat that that I'm out of commission for at least a week
Also, though, too, it's like we're kind of blessed. We have a lot of good pizza around us
Yeah, so like if I'm gonna do it. I'd rather waste it on good pizza, right, you know, but that pizza, man
Like yo
During like this summer
or like no, no during
Actually during the winter like right now. It's way better in the winter or when they are like not like september
When you would have football, you're all over the place. We have you have football and you'd have uh hockey
it'd be like
Uh, wait, is hockey even around that time? Am I bugging? What's going on? Whatever?
But they'd be like, you know, if the Yankees score like that's like four runs, then you're gonna get
25 off. I'm like, well, I gotta get it now. I was uh,
I bet on the portland game the other night and um
If they score over a hundred points, you get like a free like mcnuggets
And it's like through the mcdonald's app. Yeah
It's crazy. I never even know mcdonald's had an app. I didn't know that either
You know, it's the best thing about new york city mcdonald's delivers out here
I haven't had mcdonald's in so long
Still fat
Yeah, we had that was the last time we had it. Oh, wow. We had we had both had burgers
That's right because you didn't want to throw him away
I had a burger that day. Man, it was good
It was fantastic. It's do it. Yo, you know, you know what used to do with dominoes
So, you know, send the sticks obviously they come with that like gizzy like that frosting sugary gizzy mess
if
You know what I was gonna say something, but I'm not gonna say say, you know what I was gonna say
Yeah, I do if just taste it like that. Yeah, I'd be all right. I don't I'd think about it. Okay
At least think about it
Think about it take a second
Great song great song
But anyway, you would take that and like you'd use it to like eat whatever but then you just take it and start dump it on the pizza
Oh, I've never done that. Oh, you're an idiot then. Is that good? I mean that stuff is good on anything literally
It would make dog shit taste good
The shit you dip cheesy bread in
Is gross
The marinara sauce
No, but there's like a uh yellow garlic
Yeah, the garlic butter it comes with it literally they made its own a roped off vip section in the papa john's box
For this garlic butter sauce that is probably filled with
So fucking good, dude
It tastes so good. You can tell me that that is chlorox and I would still dip my pizza in it
I'd be like, dude, I don't care get out of my way if there was a pool filled with that cannon ball
Yes, I'm in that shit. Oh, it's so good. It was amazing
Reminiscing on the day on the days where
Everyone's in a while every once in a while slip up and have like a disgusting meal
But like even if I get pizza now, it's like holy well now now what I'm doing is I'm dieting hard
But I'm also cheat day in hard you should like I diet pretty pretty well now and
Then on sundays or saturdays like whichever day because now I mean football is on both those days. Yeah, but um
I just
pizza wings
Well, it's only sunday now candy
So just go home. Oh, yeah. Well. Yeah, go hard on sunday
Like this past weekend like dude. I literally ate like six pounds of food
Do you think like eating shit? Like I feel like since I've been eating better
I sleep better
Yeah
Shitty food makes me actually like feel like shit like it causes me to like stay up at night. Well
Yeah, I mean it just does bad things to everything works probably
Not as good. No, you know, definitely not definitely drink a lot of water and I'm like eating healthy like
Everything I have energy at the end of the day where I say usually wouldn't your brain feels amazing, too
Yeah, I never knew that you have to hydrate your brain
What's up you like you have to hide like when you hydrate your body
It's it's for your organs and and obviously like your brain is obviously
Probably the most important organ you have sure, you know, yeah, it's up there
So it has to be hydrated, which I never knew
Yeah, I never knew that like hydration and your brain or like kind of they're correlated
Well, that's why when you get dehydrated you get headaches. Yeah
When I'm dehydrated my skin gets all fucked up to not fucked up. You like breakout. No, I don't break that's not what I was
I said the wrong thing, but like when I'm dehydrated and someone like does this I get old people's skin
Like where it was just like you become like a reptile boy
I mean like if you like scratch my arm my
That thing shows up beat red
Like it gets so like sensitive and like to the touch or whatever
Like yeah, my grandma you could be like, hey, grandma. What's going on and her fucking she would have a bruise of my hand on her back
It's like a relax. Yeah, they bruise so easily. Yeah, why is that they wear like those super high socks too
If wear armor then if that's the case Jesus christ
Get some armor on this woman some chain link. Are you afraid to get old?
Yeah
Yes and no, I'm fully afraid to get old. I'm afraid to get old, but I'm also psyched to just
Be a baby again because because you go from being a baby where you could like shit yourself. You could you know say some
Crazy like accidental racist shit. It's like a viral video that everyone laughs at ha ha ha ha
Like whatever no one cares because it's a baby. You don't have to wear clothes. You got your dick out. They're like, ah, good
It's a baby. Yeah, then you grow up and it's like, oh, we got some rules now
You can't do this and then there's that long period of time of that
And then you eventually get old enough that when you walk outside with no pants on it's like, ah, this poor guy is
So come with me and you could like steal stuff and you'd be like, what I don't know what I'm doing
You could eat like three dinners. Yeah, you forgot. Yeah, you're like, you know, you can do whatever you want
When I get old, I'm definitely getting one of those medication things with that with Monday Tuesday Wednesday
Yeah, I'd probably get one now. Yeah, probably. Yeah, but um, I think it's cool
Like to like have like those little things
What just to have that is I think it was cool too. Yeah, I think it's just cool
Like oh, you got this cool little calendar pills. There was two things I always played with when I was younger
and one of them was that
And it was like the money to the Wednesday thing and the other one was the uh
It was like my mom's hair curlers like you remember you would open up. Oh, oh the the the rough ones
Yeah, yeah, I used to try and roll them on my head. Oh, no
I would just like take them out and put them back like because they were like pink
And then you would open up this glass thing and then there was like a bunch of like, uh,
There would just be standing up. So I'd just like take them off and take them all off and then put them back on
I used to put them together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah do that. Did your mom have that tomato pin cushion?
Pin cushion. There was like a pin cushion like that was very famous in like the 90s
In like the 2000s. It was a tomato. Oh, they would just stick pins in. Yeah, yeah, of course your mom had the tomato, right?
Yeah, those things are fucking awesome too. I used to just literally do this
Yes
For hours, you know, I used to I used to do a weird thing crack walnuts
All the time. I used to do that too. I wouldn't even yeah, crack it and just leave it. Yeah, mom's like the fuck you doing
So wasteful. Yeah, it's all right. So wasteful. No the other thing. Oh shit. What were you just saying, uh,
Oh, you know the game moncala?
Yes and no, you know the one where you pick up the things and drop them
So here's the thing. I know the game. No idea what the rules are same here
But I used to do like my uncle had a moncala set. Yeah, so we used to like do that
I used to play with those little gems or whatever like marbles. Yeah little marbles. I did that with my grandma's medicine once
So like I was literally like doing moncala with the monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday
Thankfully, my mom caught me and was like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, oh, I'm just doing this
You murdered your grandma. Yes. I got close
And I would have got away for it too if it wasn't for those damn kids
That was good. Thank you. I like that. I like that scooby-doo
I
Wasn't the biggest scooby-doo guy
That means the same show every time
I wasn't a big scooby-doo guy
It was the same show every it was like, how are we gonna get out of this? We got out of it
Oh, it's the guy that you least suspect again. Yeah. Oh, it's the guy the first guy we met. Yeah
Never mind. Never mind. I just feel like kids are robbed of good cartoons now
I
Don't know what any of the cartoons are now
I'm I'm even late to the party as far as like people watch like, you know, like the disney shows like victorious
And fuck like erion agrande was on that and like I carly
Yeah, and all like uh drake and josh. I never watched an episode of any of these shows. I never watched drake and josh ever
People are like, oh my god drake and josh. I've never watched an episode. Yeah
Yeah, sorry. Sorry josh for listening. Sorry josh and drake
So I don't fucking know but um
Yeah, oh, you know who I found out followed me the other day joe jonas
Joe jonas. Yeah, that's fire. It's pretty cool. Not as hot as nick jonas. That's the one I wanted me too
Yeah, that guy's a smoke that guy. It's got a good voice. Joe jonas is cool though. Yeah, I'll take joe
I'll take the jonas brothers. I'll take joe. I'll take joe another joe in my life. Why not?
You know, you know, yes, you know, he has 7.7 million followers
And I think nick has like 49 million or something. Yeah, that's because nick's a smoke
I just think yeah, you made jealous
I still get jealous
All right, anyway, that's all for this uh episode of the basement yard uh dany, where can they find you?
um
Really? Yeah, I think we're gonna I think we're
I
Wanted to talk about that fucking egg. No, no. Oh my god. That's all I was saying about okay. We'll do that then we'll cut it but uh
I didn't know what to do. No, no, we're good. No, but um
Thoughts on the egg
Yeah, I mean to give a little background story the most liked picture on instagram now with like it blew out
Kylie Jenner's picture that had like 18 million and then this one has like 30 million likes on it
Which is like whatever like I understand it's cool. I'm not mad about the egg
The thing I'm upset about is that when you go to the egg picture
There's a bunch of accounts that are like, hey, I'm a piece of toast. Let's like me. Yeah, or like whip a book
It's like dude. Why are you doing? Yeah, why are we ruining this like just like it's a whatever everyone's on board with this thing
I'll tell you though. I'm proud of that egg
Proud of the egg too because you want to know why proud of every single one of those units proud of every single one of those units
Chocolate fucking daddy chocolate fucking daddy that fucking egg
Did that so fast? Yeah
That's why the internet is amazing
Is because you want to know something we all got together
And like that fucking egg
We deep their own to Jenner. Hell, yeah, and we like that fucking egg
And there's nothing they could do about it. That was the one thing they couldn't touch. We got them bang
God
I liked it
I liked it. You have to of course the other thing I didn't like was the when these kid
That was the one kid that pissed me off. What like if you got a certain amount of retweets. You got like free nuggets for life
Pissed me off
There's a lot of things that pissed me off. Did you ever get it? Yeah, you got it
It gets fucking free nuggets for life the son of a bitch. Well, I mean, it's all right. He might develop some sort of
You know, you can't eat nuggets every day for the rest of your life. That's what I'm trying to say
No, but if you had the before one last thing because we talked about fast food
If you had to eat one fast food thing
Every day for the rest of your life, but you can only pick one. What would it be?
Mine's a double whopper with cheese
I don't know
One thing yeah, it could be a frosty. It doesn't have to be a meat
meat
I'd probably go double cheeseburger right double cheeseburger from
mac darts
Probably Madonna's
Madonna's yeah mac dirties
Mac dirties, baby mac dirties all the way
Number two used to get that number two because it was the cheapest and I was the brokeest
That was fire fire for 19 for the meal now. It's now it's expensive. Yeah, it's probably like what for 37
No, dude, the fucking meals with McDonald's are expensive, dude
No, yes, how much?
Close to $10 burger king even more expensive. Yeah
Burger king's like $11 for a meal
Go fucking buy food and cook it for 11 bucks
Let's
You're not doing I'm not doing yeah, that's this guy saying I'm not this guy just found out he had gas
Yeah, apparently I didn't have gas how long you've been living here, uh two three months
You have not cooked one meal. No on that stove. I haven't
Have not he gets me the other day goes. Yeah, just found out. I don't have gas
You lived here for three months
And you haven't cooked a thing
That is fucking amazing. Yeah, I know. Yeah, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do? I have a lot of protein shakes. Hey, listen if you ever need a hamburger
You can just order one order. I order a lot of hamburgers
So that's why okay. I have a lot of hamburgers left over. They're great eaters great eaters great guys
Anyway, Danny, where can they find you? You can find me at daniela priori on instagram and on twitter
Just being a great guy great guy
great guy
Better eater
Papa johns, uh, you guys can follow me on twitter on twitter and instagram at joe sanagato and go
Uh, follow the show at the baseman yard and our patreon to support the show
You can head over to patreon.com slash the baseman yard and that is all
See you motherfuckers next time deplorable deplorable
hamburger