The Basement Yard - #212 - Lying To Uber Drivers
Episode Date: October 21, 2019On this episode, we talked about lying to Uber drivers about our fake children and if social media should impact the hiring process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the bass in your was hanging was hanging with you was hanging
What's going on? What's your breath all the way up all the way up? I don't know kids say that right?
the fat Joe song
That was a great fat Joe song
Point to the hills and go all the way up. Yeah, it's fire. It was fire, but uh
It's lit
Yeah, it's lit is it's lit still around. I think it's still around still around
No cap. No cap. It's bad. No bad. It's mental. It's bad, bro
Yeah, no, it's bad, bro. It's bad, bro. It's bad blood. It's bad blood, bro. Oh
cuz
Yo top boy top boy. We're still in the top boy here. Yeah, I I just finished it last night to be honest with you
I gotta finish it still it was good. I like it. I thought it was good
I also if it comes out of the second season I watch that
I mean, I think there are other seasons. I think it was like an Amazon show. Yes. No, they like brought it back
Something I don't know like Drake wreck revived it or something, but it gave me weird dreams
You a top boy, bro. Yeah. No, I was not
No, bro. What happened? It's not
It's bad. It's bad news. It's bad. It's mad. It's mad. Uh, no, but uh
Yeah, it had some weird dreams. So like you know how I had that weird dream about my landlord. Yeah, yeah golden golden
The golden golden laundry basket. Yeah. Yeah, so I had another weird one
I texted it into my family group chat because they were like all in it
But I gotta scroll up and find it because I don't want to fuck it up
But this is this isn't one this one like I remembered the entire time. All right, here we go
so
Me and my family like we were all at the movies, right? And I really don't know what any of this like means now
So you're gonna find this so funny
So we're all at the movies and you know when you have to like walk to your specific theater or whatever
Yeah numbered right. Yeah. Yeah, so we're walking to our theater and Shannon's ahead of us my sister
She's ahead of us and she's waiting outside
Of the theater and when we get there I can see she's like visibly like upset and angry
Like looking like she has like tears in her eyes, but she's like she's got like anger and I'm like at me
Something going on there. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm like, what's wrong?
and she goes are you serious
and I was like
what and she goes
You got to be kidding me
You're telling people that the crew is Lou
That's what she said she got that upset. She said you're telling people that the crew is Lou
And then what'd you how'd you respond? I don't know what that means the crew is Louie. No, no, no crazy Lou
Brov no, she's like you're you're saying the crew is Lou
And I was like what and she goes you're saying the crew is Lou. I know you are
And then walked away from me. I mean, she's right
What does that fucking mean? I don't know, but I love that saying though. The crew is Lou. Yeah, I love that
It's like the crew could be loose. It could be loony
The crew is Lou, bro. The crew is Lou. It does sound like very london. Yeah, it sounds the crew is fucking Lou, bro
I love it. I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna steal it. Yeah, so she said that and then we I was like
Transformer
Teleported back to my mom's house and we're sitting on the couch dream teleportation is the best and someone goes
Oh my god
Kid rock died
No
Yeah, and my mom was distraught
like
What?
What happened, right?
and then
What happened to kid rock
So he died from a disease. Oh, no, and I ended up uh googling in the morning and it doesn't exist
I thought you said that you ended up getting no, no, no, no
He he got it. He got a disease kid kid rock poor rock. He got he died from this disease
He never became man rock, huh? No, he's always a child kid rock
Uh
But uh the disease my mom's like how
Pectobitis
Pectobitis some bite his nipples. I don't know a bit bit his pecker
Pectobitis
It sounds like it could be real. I know that's why I just sounds like it could be real
Because you know people like oh everyone you've seen a dream you've seen before or like shit like that. You know what I'm saying
I feel like pectobitis could be real. I googled it
And got nothing it nada. No hits. No hits. No hits. There was no like
Autocorrect didn't help out nothing. Yeah, it like maybe was spelled a little different
Yeah, so the crew is Lou and uh kid rock died of pectobitis
Damn, dude, my mom was really upset. I'm really happy. We didn't lose kid rock though
What's the last I'm just kidding. Uh, isn't he like super racist? Yeah, he's like kind of a piece of shit
Isn't he like super like the self will rise again. Well, he's a cowboy. He's a cowboy baby in the center in black
Yeah, what the top made back in the sunshine shining wasn't either undertaker's theme music for a while
I'm a cowboy. I'm a singer. I'm black
Hey, hey, yeah, man
Yo, honestly, like I forgot who I was talking to the other day about the rockhead bangers though
Racist white people scare this shit out of me. Yeah, they should
They do it gets me uncomfortable. Oh, I was talking to my uber driver. Oh, yeah
Well, yeah, they're great to talk to about racist white people
No, because that was because I forgot why we were talking about it. Oh because I mentioned Amish people
Because I saw a bunch how did that come up in an uber conversation
Um, where'd you guys start with the weather? Well, I was asking him like what's the furthest trip he's ever done
Okay, and then he it wasn't that far but he oh, he said boston. That's far. That's far. Yeah
Yeah, but I was like I I talked to a guy once and he told me Pittsburgh
And then he was telling me how he went to Pittsburgh and I was like, oh, I went out
I drove there and I saw like this Amish family
Pittsburgh has Amish people. I don't think they were Amish. I think they were all dressed like milkmaids though
Okay, they were just a sketchy white family. They were a bunch of farm hands, but I don't know. Yeah, they were like a sketch white fam
No, but then uh
We were talking about, you know
Racist white people. How'd that go? Who won?
What was in an argument? He wasn't white. Was he? Uh, no, he wasn't. Oh, okay
Uh, I thought I thought I thought he was defending like a defending racist champion. Oh, no, no, no
I've never been awkward man. It's been mad awkward with my uber and just like being like, no, man
They just they're taking our jobs and I'm like, oh god. Have you ever watched videos of ubers like like uber rides gone wrong?
Yeah, I fucking love those
I saw a video of this like drunk girl who like tried to cancel her ride before it like started or oh, yeah
And she's in the back. She's like, I don't know you're talking. He's like, yo get out of my car
And she's like, I I'm not getting out. He's like, yeah, you are take me. Can you take me back home?
They're like, nope get out get out man. Get out. I always ask uber drivers like if someone's thrown up in their car
Yeah, that's a big question for me too. I like to ask that question
I feel
Like most uber drivers
Don't have it as bad as we think it's just a hard job
I would never want to do it
At night. I always ask them that too. I'm like, what what time do you stop working?
He's like most people like on the weekends like I hear them
They'll be like, yeah, I'll stop at like 12 because then just gets crazy
Then I was also talking to a guy recently who said
People ask him all the time to come pick up packages and drop them off
drugs
Oh, I see that's cool. Yeah, so they'll be like, yeah, it's cool
But I would hate to get like pulled over but even he said he's like, yeah, if I get pulled over
I don't know what's in there. Yeah, I was paid to do a service
So a lot of I didn't even know you could do that. Yeah
I did I saw and also I was in a fucking uber pool once
And I saw a pickup, but it was a drop-off. It was just dropping off someone's keys
That they left in the uber
Schmott schmott schmott schmott people schmott people schmott people
Yo, one time I got a free uber from this girl. This was years ago
It was halloween
And I looked at the uber app and the shit was like 90 dollars to get back to queens
Which it's not even close on a bad day 90 dollars. But what was it like? It was halloween night
Jesus come back or something. Yeah, I don't know. What the fuck it was the surge was wild
You remember that back in the day where they had a surge like crazy. Hey like now
There's like a traffic one, but it would be like halloween 3x
Like it would be like three times the price. It was like 90 dollars
And I was like, yeah, I'm not I'm not trying to do this right now
Like I'll take the train or some shit if she paid some rent some girl
Well, she wasn't random like she was I didn't know her though
She one of my friends knew who she was
And she just comes over to me and my friend and was just like, you know, you guys need an uber
I'll pay for your fucking uber
I was like, yo, I'm like, there's a surge. It's like, you know, it's crazy
And she was like, I don't give a fuck. My dad's fucking reg
Basically, yeah, she didn't say anything about her dad, but I try I try my best. I try my best
Another thing though, I was gonna say what's the most you ever spent on an uber. I've spent like 160
Where the fuck did you go the moon? No, I went to fucking Westchester and it was during a surge
But I went I wouldn't have done that. I wouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it. It was stupid
Why didn't you get on the train? The train's easy. Yeah
I don't know is uh me and my fiance. We had a whole bunch of shit and I was like, I don't want to take the train
I don't know. I would have waited that one. I should have a lot. I'd better be going to Maryland. That was including tip though
so
It was like it was like 150 maybe
Wasn't that
That's it. That's a terrible price uber drivers from time to time. Yeah, why?
Uh, if they're really nice or they give me a charger, they like do shit like
Not all uber drivers have chargers and shit. I don't I don't think I've ever tried. That's not true
I've charged my phone, but only when it's like dying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but like
If they have that or they like give me water like not all ubers have water
Or they offer to turn the air on or ask me, you know, which way do you want to go?
I like when they take me into account, I'll take you into account. So what do you tip them like three bucks?
Through the app through the app
No, I don't tip ubers. I don't think you're supposed to they get like 70 of the thing. Yeah, I just
I could just I feel like I I I could tell I've never done it
Like I've done a shuttle bus before but I've never done like uber driving
I could tell how shitty that job is though
That's a tough fucking job, especially in New York City, dude
I don't think you're changing lives with an extra two bucks. No, but anything helps I think
No, of course because if you set the president
You say the president I said precedent you're gonna set up the president. Are you hearing this president?
I don't want to be involved precedent just to be very clear
I don't want to set up the president at all
Danny said that I didn't say that you said you want to set up the president. No, I didn't
And I didn't I don't know where you were going
precedent
precedent
He said president. No way. I heard a z in there president
Isn't that weird how the s is a z and president. I don't like that. But yeah, I tip uber drivers from time to time
Yeah, I don't I if I'm feeling froggy. I'll leap when I was drunk. I used to tip all the time. It was terrible
Because I was just getting cars and telling like my fucking life story
You ever just told a complete lie in an uber?
Dude
Yeah, I do it all the time. What is wrong with me? You know what I lie about all the time
I say my wife and kids dude. I say I have kids too. I don't know why I why do we do that?
I was lie. I've lied about children so many times in ubers. It's it's the only place that I do it too
Why do we do that? I don't know. I think it's just a prolonged story prolonged conversation
I you know what it you know what it is like. I don't I don't know
Do you ever think like stop and think you're like, yo, what's wrong with you? I have no idea. Sometimes it just comes out
And I'm like, I'm so happy. I'm not the only fucking maniac in this world. Dude. I just say like yeah, my kids
Yeah, I've killed I killed kids
Setting up the president. I'm killing kids. Yeah. Yeah, jeez. Now. We're definitely gonna take it off the air. Yeah, it's a bad time
Um, it's a bad time in the basement yard already. Yeah. Yeah, it's rough
Yeah, I lie to them so much. Yeah, I don't know why there was one time. It's fun. It's fun. Oh lying's great
Especially if you could like hold a lie for a good for like the ride
Oh, yeah, like if you're in traffic and you got a lie, there's a little more pressure because you're like
I'm gonna have to have a lot of answers for shit. See, I don't lie in uber pools. I only lie in uber x's
Oh, you can't lie in a pool. No, because somebody witnesses. Yeah. Yeah, it's too many witnesses to the lie
But I'll tell a nice Bangladesh in man that that I have a couple kids home
Yeah, but why do we do that? I do it and he's not even asking me about kids. I'll just bring it up
I'll just be like, yeah, man, you know long day of work, you know, just go home and see my kids
I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, I just need to don't have children just need a break from the kids, you know
What I've said that. Yeah, like, yo, where are you going? Oh, I'm going to I think I did it the other day
When I took it when I took an uber to msg
And the guy and the kids did you have
I just said kids. I didn't say a number. Yeah taking a break from the kids going to the game
I'll be honest with you though. I was three in my mind
Yeah, I had I had three kids in my head. I think ubers are great places to explore
Your imagination. How good are you at improv? You know, yeah, I want to see how good I could make this
I was in a ton of traffic though. So it was so I had to be on my tippy toes. Yeah, you're running out of material fast
I mean, yeah, I mean if you would have pressed me about like, you know, when were they born and shit
I would just have to start throwing out dates. I didn't even have to name names. Yeah, I just said kids and he let it slide
I'm trying to think of like my biggest uber lies uber lies
I always say that my brother used to work for uber
For some reason
I think you said that once when I was in the car with you. Did I did I was just like
Yeah, I love that one because I feel like they trust me more and I could get more information out of them
Yeah, you know, it's like a weird like I try to infiltrate the fucking I go undercover in the lift uber system
You know what I thought was weird what like it was like it felt like an undercover boss kind of situation because the guy
who was driving
He like was asking me questions and shit. This is the guy who I told him like, you know, I told him
I was going to the ranger game. I was like, you know, it's nice to get a break from the kids
That's what I said for no reason and then he
Was like so I'm sorry. I'm gonna cut you off
But did you say like as a joke at first but you're like now I'm just gonna lie right now
I just feel like lying. I just said it because I was like, I'll never see this person again
I'll say whatever the hell I have to say here. Isn't it the best feeling?
I don't know you saying you were saying he was the undercover boss. No
I feel like he thought I was because he was like, so do you drive uber?
Would you I feel like it's a weird question for an uber driver to ask you
Yeah
I was like, no
I don't
Dude, you just picked me up from queens and I'm going to here. I'm not taking an uber and it's a uber x put two and two together
You know what I'm saying? No
Wait, what where were you coming from queens? Yeah all the way to the garden. Yeah put two and two together
Yeah, you know if you're uber you drive your own fucking car. That's not true. Yeah, why not because where you're gonna park it
First of all, why I didn't drive uber. I would pick up a fare on the way there
Drop somebody off and then fucking go to the game
You have your own car. Why would you not drive? You don't know where you're going though. You can get in the car
They're going to fucking san diego
I would take san diego trip. Actually, I wouldn't I'd rather go to your game
What's the farthest you'd be willing to drive as an uber driver statewide?
Connecticut
I would do like
Pennsylvania like Philly. That's about as far as I'll go. That's like what two hours. Yeah. Yeah, it's not bad either
Anywhere that's like two hours once you start again to four hours might fuck you. Yeah
Yeah, now I'm like your fucking personal chauffeur like this is weird the dude actually told me that there was some girl
He's like it was some like this rich girl
she had a connecting flight to
Boston
And she didn't want to take it because it was taking too long. So she took an uber. That's fire
I haven't pissed off. That's awesome. I gotta fucking
Do this now. I would just stay overnight
He said one of his buddies. It was an uber diary
They said one of his buddies though
But you have to set them up with questions and they won't open up if they see a man with children
They'd be like I can't open up to this guy. No, a russian man opened up to me. Yeah, which I was surprised
I was surprised, but he was very russian
I opened up to you. I tell you everything about me. You're like american football. I was like, yeah, we call it football
Shit. No, he liked it. Oh, did he really? Yeah, I like the saints. Who do you like? He's like
I was like, I was like, I was like, who's your team? And he goes
Patriot
He knew I wasn't gonna like it. So he gave me the shrug first. He was like
Patriot tom brady patriot and I was like, ah, you fucking russian bastard
Tom brady tom brady is how you say good good very good goat
But in country goat means something else. Yes. It means the head of a penis
Let me ask you a question. Why do you call tom brady goat in russia? It means cusp of anus
cusp of anus
Yeah, but he was telling me I liked america. He did not translate and hockey
I was kind of shocked by that. He liked hockey. Yeah, he was a devils fan through the russians
You were seeing miracle
That's true. Yeah
Yeah, I get yeah, it's called the shit there. They all play fucking hockey yadamir yager
Damn, he just said that yadamir yadamir yager
He's like 55. He's still playing russians be russians be skating
Yeah, I don't know man, but he told me if we're gonna go to russia go to um st. Petersburg. I think he said
He's like it's nice. I was like florida
Is it st. Petersburg? Yeah, because I think uh jeter calls this place st. jetersburg
No, he doesn't no, but like it's called that like it's like oh, I thought he calls it that his compound is uh
Dammy's got a compound. That's when you know your load
Dude you make fucking like 400 million dollars playing and then like you own a team
I would hope you have a compound. All right, so if you get a compound what are you putting on this compound?
Uh because a compound has to be like multiple buildings. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's getting multiple buildings. Um
side house
For my parents. I don't want them in the main house
Keep them in the side where I could see them. You know what I'm saying keep an eye on yeah
Keep an eye on them make sure they're taking care of your bedroom is above their entire house
Oh, it's not even it's not even connected
Like that's what I mean. That's why their house is here. Yeah, my house is here. Yeah. Yeah like this
and their shit's like
That is circle. No, but it yeah, it's a circular house
Dude a circular house would be kind of cool. But um, I oh
It would be kind of dope. Is there any circle houses?
You know, I never thought about that
A circular house
I guess what mansions can be circular like when you walk in there's always like that circular floor and then that
Spiral spiral staircase. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would I would put them like on like their own like nice little big house over here
Not bigger than mine though. I got still, you know showing who's boss and then over here
I would have like a place for like
Like a guest house
So like whoever came to visit or like if my sister came with her kids I could stuff them all in there
Like just enough separation
So I don't got to see you all the time because I got activities. I like to do that's great
And like I don't want them, you know, I want to I want them to be known
You know, I keep eyes on them. I put cameras in every house just to look at what they're doing
Not not creeping just making sure they're not taking anything they shouldn't be taking. You know what I mean?
Yeah, but you wouldn't have any like facilities. Oh, yeah, I would have a basketball
I would have a basketball hoop full court full court wouldn't use that. No, no, no, I'd ref I'd ref
I'd ref the games
Also, another thing that I would have too is that I would have a pool that wraps around the entire house
Like a moat. Yeah, yeah to keep the crocs out. Yeah, but like a fire moat though. Like it's like, uh, it's fire
No, no, no, not made of fire. Oh, I thought you were like you just wanted a fucking
Yeah, that'd be pretty dope a ring of fire in your house. They'll get expensive
It'll also get very hot
But it would be cool though like to take like little jet skis around the house
Like if you were partying in the back, yeah, and like I'll be like, yeah, all right
I'm coming and just like take the jet ski around to the back of the house. That'd be that'd be tight. Yeah
Yes, it would also if there was just like a lazy river to take you house to house
Yeah, it's like, yo, you could walk in the lawn or just getting this fucking tube
And then I would have like a
Yeah, that would be sick a tube like those old stock movies
Huh? You ever see like stock movies. They were like, all right
And it sucks it up like the mail. Oh, yeah, that's not what I was talking about
Oh, I thought you were talking about getting sucked through the ground to like come meet me
What the fuck I said lazy river like a tube like a like a water. Oh, no, I heard tube. I heard tube
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, we're not sucking anything. I'm not getting in that. I got excited. I thought suck
You know what happens when my mind starts thinking suck. I know it gets out of it gets out of control
We're talking about visiting family here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not sucking them. Yeah, tone it down there, buddy
Yeah, I hear you. I understand. I'm sorry. Listen
Tiger got out of the cage man. Yeah tiger got out of the cage. Would you get a tiger?
Uh, I would get a tiger just because Mike Tyson had a tiger, but I would have somebody there all the time take care of it
I'm not getting eaten by a tiger
Yeah, like if a tiger acted up like
I don't know what to do. What do I do hit it?
Things gonna fucking eat me. I think I would just put my arm out like this and like let it chew on my bones
No, you got to like dominate it
Dominate a tiger. That's what Mike Tyson did. He had a tiger for like 15 years, but he's Mike Tyson
He was punching a tiger in the face. No, he wasn't punching it. He was just like
He'd be like charged at her and shit
Yeah, what?
Do you watch his podcast at all? No hot boxing. No with Mike Tyson. I know he's just high. Yeah, it's awesome
It's awesome. He used to run at his tiger. Yeah
He used to run at his tiger play like basketball and the tiger would like play basketball with not like like cross him up and
Shit, but like
Be there like while he was playing hoops and shit. Yeah, he'd be like, yeah, it's my tiger. That's my tiger. Uh, Kenya
It's like I had 13 years
Are you serious? I swear. I knew he had a tiger. I don't know. He was like she got too old. I had to get rid of her. So that's it
That's a pretty good Mike Tyson. That's an amazing Mike Tyson, you know, they say they say, um
They say if you have a tiger, he's not supposed to have one, but I had one
And then, um, she's got too old. She got too big. So I couldn't keep it anymore
I feel like I'm sitting here with Mike Tyson. This is incredible
And then people always say they would they like to be the the baddest man on the planet
I didn't even really care. It's too busy getting high and doing crazy stuff. So
I spent all my money and
Now I just smoke weed all the time. So
Jesus, I didn't know you could do that. No, I didn't know either honestly until I just did it right now
That's pretty fucking good. Yeah, you gotta get
No, he's not gonna stop. No, no, no
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I get emotional when I start thinking about
When I start thinking about my tigers
Damn, dude
Yeah, I'm sorry, but I would definitely have some kind of majestic animal
Maybe like some kind of bird that watched over my crib like a peacock. No, like a
Fucking big ass falcon that you can only get in like Germany like some weird ass
smuggled bird
And I would call him fucking val corn and he would just chill up there. Val corn. Yeah, val corn the protector
Okay, and he would fucking just
And he would attack intruders. Yeah, and I could just like I feel like we're playing sims right now
And I could put that leather glove on and he could just fucking land on me
I would want to have sex with him on my arm
That'd be fucking hot
Having sex while holding a falcon. Hell yeah, dude. You wouldn't come any harder in your life
Hmm
And I would also have a greenhouse that was like all made of glass
And like the floors were glass and like the doors were glass and everything was glass
And I would have sex primarily in there. So everyone have to watch me feast
What what like imagine your whole apartment right now look around it. Oh, so people outside
Oh, I see. Yeah, you could see right in and you know that green houses are just like see through
Yeah, yeah, but it's like there's like beds and like the beds are see through
And like only thing that you can see are like the linens and you could just watch me like fucking midair
You're gonna fuck on a glass bed. Yeah
This is an expensive life you plan on living you said build this a dream house
I I said what would be on your compound and now we're talking about a falcon named val corn a sex house
A sex greenhouse is there even plants in it? Or is it just or is it just why'd you call it a greenhouse?
It's no like a greenhouse. Oh
I think that's what I said. I probably didn't I think I just said it's hot in this wig
So my brain's on fire a little bit today. What wig?
Fix that impose the fix that impose. I want to ask you about your shirt. Yeah, where'd you get that shirt?
I don't know. I like it. Yeah, you know what? I'm just holding on to summer
It's gone. You you you hate
I don't hate fall though. No, no, no. I'm not wasn't gonna say that
Hey winter
You don't hate when you hate winter, but you love the holidays. So
Would you say summer is your prime time? Like
They say in the summer you're the happiest you are right
Who said that like scientists like like the they're like people are their happiest when it's
Good weather, right? I I can only assume. I think that's what it is
Do you feel that you get sadder in the winter time than you do like in or I knew that you're happier in the summer
I don't know. Or do you kind of just feel the same?
I don't I think it just there's more opportunity to do stuff in the summer. I guess
I think yeah, there's like more like there's people want to travel
That's when people want to hang out or like stay out all night or like it's like probably easier to like get your endorphins going
Probably be like easier like stimulated
I guess so and then like when you text people they don't want to go out because it's cold
And that's kind of a bummer. I don't like cold. No or like when it snows like two feet here
Do you remember like a few halloween's ago when it fucking snowed?
Like it was a crazy snowfall on a halloween
It might have been like three or four years ago. I remember
I was gonna go out that night and I was like dude. I'm not fucking going out. I hate halloween
Yeah, halloween's the worst
I don't like halloween just because like I can't really keep an eye on anybody
Like everyone looks like a threat
Yeah, you know even when we went to comic con we went to comic con and
There was like someone walking around like venom, but he had a gigantic gun with him and I'm like
And he was like marching in the street and I was like
Someone check that is that cardboard or what is it? Did you enjoy comic con?
Comic con was fun. It was fun guys. Go check out the video that the stank did it's on sanagato studios youtube.com slash sanagato studios
Fucking hilarious. Yeah, but comic con was definitely an experience man. I feel like for some reason like all
Like obviously it's like quote unquote nerd culture or whatever. I thought it was cool
I thought the people who dress up make it
I thought if they did if people don't dress up at that thing, I don't think it's that great
Yeah, it would suck. But the best thing there is the people. Yeah, because it's only cool
To see how far people went with their costumes right and some people go far
And for some reason
I was like the only fucking super mario there. Yeah
The only one there's not one person I saw there with a super mario like I didn't see one other person
I saw like thousands of people. I saw like four luigis. No, I saw like two luigis. I saw like four warios
We saw a couple warios a couple while luigis
Yeah, where the fuck was mario? I don't know just they left it for me. Didn't they go bankrupt or something?
Comic con no, no, no the marion luigi creators or something. I saw something on twitter. I don't know. I hope not
I don't fucking know that sucks. I don't know. I don't know. That may be even possible. I don't know. Yeah, right
Don't listen to me. Oh, what would be in your dream compound? I'm sorry. I didn't ask you the question
I didn't let you fucking build your house. I got all fucking caught up in having sex in a glass house
Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I would just want I want to build like a fantasy factory. You remember I almost did that this year
Yeah, you did kind of I got really close to buying not buying but like renting this big
warehouse
And turning it into like a big fantasy factory type of thing. Yeah, but then I just decided not to yeah, I mean it
It
I supported that move if you if you wanted to do it, but it would have been a little ridiculous
It would have been over the top. It would have been uh too much
It would have been a too much a little bit too much. Ah, but it was a good deal. It wasn't that much money every single month, but
Maybe maybe in uh, there's always the future. Maybe there is the future. Maybe next summer
Get a factory depending on
How you know the economy's going q1 and 2 q1 and 2
speaking of q1 and q2
um
It's gonna be I can't believe he's gotta be fucking 2020 soon
And I just have one question. You don't have to you don't have to
Tell me what or whatever. Are you gonna vote?
Yeah, okay, good. I the first time I voted was two years ago and I've been voting ever since
Good you should vote everyone should vote. Yeah, I hate everyone though
I don't hate everyone. I hate all the can't I can't say because I already said something about the president apparently on this episode
So I gotta you were saying I'm up. I gotta protect myself here. Yeah, no, uh, but yeah, no
I I uh, I'm gonna vote but I do think that like when people have such strong opinions about politics and then just don't vote
I'm like, well, what are you arguing? Yeah, this it's like, what is the point of this? It's like, yeah
Yeah, this this is this but also I'm not gonna vote because it's all bullshit. It's like, all right, but all right, cool
Then don't say anything at all. Uh, the other thing too is is that did you see that a AOC?
Uh, like troll that went to her thing. Oh my god. Yeah, I did see that
Uh, there was a video where I don't even know her whole name to be honest
Alexandra oscario cortez or something that was
Let's see you can make those assumptions. I can make those assumptions. I can't say stuff like that
Yeah, maybe like yo, what the fuck kind of racist, dude
It's alexandra ocasio cortez. I was close. Yeah, so AOC
Given a little bit of a speech getting after it wherever she was
I don't even know and then uh, I think it came out that it was like a pro trump
Like troll plant troll. Yeah that showed up to this thing and
started going off about uh
Was it uh, I
It was basically it was like climate change
It was a climate change troll and she was saying like what we have to start doing is eating eating babies
And she had a shirt. She took off her sweater and she had a shirt
Yo, once if you're in like a political like thing and someone starts taking off their hoodie, you're like
I need to get out of here if anyone ever went to take off their jacket abruptly in any situation that I'm in
Good night. I'm if I'm close to you. I'm jumping on you
If I'm see from a distance I'm bouncing. I'm out. Yeah
But she took off her like hoodie and it said like eat the babies or something eat babies and she was suggesting that
Uh climate change is gonna like
I don't even like we have to stop having babies and that's the problem. That's the problem
That's affecting so let's eat the babies. Yeah, so let's eat the babies first off. Let's not eat babies
Second of all second of off some of them. They they do look scrumptious though some babies babies
Yeah, I'll eat a baby. You know, I'm saying like I thought about it for a second. I said, this is really bad
You can't eat babies, but I was like a baby looks like and you know, no one you could eat a baby
You I could do
I'd eat a baby. Yeah, man. They're all cute and chunky. I want to eat it
Yeah, you ever you ever like someone's holding a baby and you go, hey, you know grab his hand and for whatever reason
You're like, I just want to bite it. Yeah, why do we? Yeah, or like a baby's foot
Like I just want to eat your little foot. I'll bite up babies because people joke about that all the time
It's like, oh, your face is so cute. I can eat it. Yeah, not the face. See, I wouldn't eat a baby face
But I would crush that. Yeah, I don't want the baby's eyes. I would eat a baby's hand
No props because they have like those legs that are like they don't have kneecaps are just fat like layered on top of fat
You know what I'm saying? You throw it on the grill with some lemon. Oh
Woof. Oh, damn. I think I'm you know what? I might have to stand on the shelf
I might have to eat a baby. You know what I'm saying? Aren't those there's animals out there? I think like calves
What like a cat like
Veal is a is a calf. No, what the fuck are you talking about? It's a baby cow. Would you shut up?
Oh, all right. I'm talking about babies who eat their
Like don't like spiders like eat their babies or snakes snakes eat their babies eat their eggs
Dogs I think sometimes dogs don't eat you fucking what? Yeah, I think dogs don't eat their puppies
I'm gonna google it. I really hope I'm fucking wrong dogs. Don't eat puppies. I really hope I'm wrong
You are wrong. I'm gonna look it up. Look it up. Give me a second. Okay
Not man, but there's two there's animals out there that eat their young eat
Please let me be wrong. Please let me be wrong dogs don't eat their babies you idiot
No
And don't and birds are kind of gangster too with their babies
They like kick them out of the nest and if they fall and die, they're like whatever keep
Listen to this most of the time domestic dogs will simply reject unhealthy puppies
Pushing them away from the nest. First of all, that is sad as shit. That's fucked up. That's fucked up, dude
Damn you a week
Just pushing them away. Fuck you mom
Pushing them away from the nest
They may carry stillborn puppies away from the nest or bury them at some place in the house
That's tight. Yeah, however, if instinct takes over and the puppies are young enough
The dam might kill and eat unhealthy babies as well. All right, but like that it could dogs eat their kids
And now I'm gonna look at my dog different dogs. Don't eat their kids. It just said it
Okay, that would be like people eat their babies
No, they don't do that. You don't fix someone out there. See a baby though natural instinct isn't to eat babies
That's not their natural instinct. That just said if natural instinct takes over
If it yeah, I feel like if it takes over your body, we all have animalistic like things
Like me you ever be walking down the street. You see an old woman with her purse and you're like
I could latest bitch out right now. No one even know and it would be the easiest money I ever make
That's the animalistic, but you you suppress that
You know, you don't you never had that. Yeah, I've had a minute. Yeah, you gotta I would be like I could just
Last this woman. Sorry grandma
bang
Yeah, man, that's animalistic. No, I think animalistic is like I want to ravage and fuck you like an animal
It's not everyone's and not everything's sex not everything's sex
But like animalistic is like if I see you I want to just fucking pound your face and not steal from you
Yeah, like all right. Yeah, it's too different. You know what I'm saying
Like animalistic is like if me and you fight in the street and then we're just like
Yeah, that's like animalistic me like contemplating stealing something from you like I don't know if that's it was more so the punch
It was more so the punch. It wasn't it wasn't the $18 landing a clean punch on a woman. Yes. Yes
An old an old fragile on an old fragile woman was the point. I got it. I figured it out
It went through my head. It's not that I wanted to do it. Right. I would never do it. Of course not
But it's in there. Listen
I got one grandma punch in me
I'm just waiting for the right time. I don't know if I have one
Unless she killed someone that I know. Yeah, true. True. Then I blast this old woman in the face
I'd kind of I give her like sweet chin music. Yo, I would hit a woman
Who like stabbed my mom?
And like killer
I would just run full speed
And just cock this back and then punch her
Here, yeah, you know
So that I have this distance to go through her punch right through her old skull
It would be a right. It would you probably turn into mist. Yeah turn the old fucking dust blow away like a dandelion
Yeah, I think that by the way. Yeah dandelions
Dumb plant. Yeah, I don't I don't understand stupid flower
Did your did your parents make you do like yard work when you were a kid?
Yeah, and I'd see a dandelion to be like, oh make a wish and you can never blow those things perfectly on one try
It'd also be like, all right, I wish that like I'm not doing this anymore
Yeah, I wish you wouldn't fucking my grandpa used to make me do that. Should have been like, uh, Danny Jr
Come out here and uh
Help me with the the with the weeds. I'm like grandpa. I don't want to pull these fucking weeds and now it's
It's kind of racist
It's not racist. I'm just kidding. Yeah, you just didn't want to do it
You were trying to pull the racism card because you didn't want to pull grandpa. Come on people are watching
I got to keep up appearances here. Yeah, you know, Latino pulling weeds trying to knock me down a peg here. Yeah
I hear you. You know what I'm saying
Then we you know, we talked about it and we're cool now
Oh
No, he's dead
Nice
I missed my grandma though
I really do you were you close? I think I've asked you this question
But you weren't really closer than your grandma's or one you're still and she's still alive, right? No, all my grandparents are dead
That's how I'm not to remember what your friend tells you. Very nice, Danny
No, all my grandparents my grandparents today, but my my grandma on my mom's side
I was closest because she lived in the neighborhood. But all the other ones like
My grandpa on my mom's side I never met and then my other two grandparents
They lived in Maine because like I always think about like, uh
The reason I brought up like moms and grandmas or whatever I was
Did you see that fucking kid on dr. Phil?
Oh my god, yes, but hold on let me get to these sponsors first. There's no way that could be real
I'm gonna get to these sponsors first and then we'll get into that because
Oh, by the way just farted not gonna be fun in here in 30 seconds kind of human in here today too
Whoa, it's traveling up my shirt right now
Just button it up
There you go. Hold it in dude. Dude. It's so crazy how much
It a style can change with one button
Oh, because this
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We'd love our sponsors. Yeah, they're fantastic. Yeah, it is hot. I'm turning the AC off. Nice. I was waiting for him to do the AOC
The AOC nice
Turn on the air turn on the air
I will say
I was wondering were you gonna I would have went couch before it's just as good. It's not bad. What are you gonna say?
No, I said I was gonna say I said that's gotta be tough reading ads though
Yeah, it is especially when you got you over here playing tricks on me laughing and like trying to be funny
I'm sorry. I won't ever talk during an ad again. That's not no
I know I will talk during an ad again, but I but I won't do that. I won't do that
Yeah, I was like, no, no, no, seriously. I'm gonna google it. I'm like, Danny, please shut up. Let me get through that
I hear you and that won't happen again, but I'll hit you with some good like
And like what?
All right, no, you can have opinions
It wasn't stupid
It was it was not for the time right, right, right, right?
This is bad timing. Yes. You're all about timing. It's all about timing, baby. Come on now. It's all about this. Come on. Hold my hand
Come on, baby. You know, I love you dog. Come on, girl. Come on. Let me feel that fucking middle finger
I'm gonna get I'm gonna get that bird tattoo on here
It's like flip the bird. Oh my god, don't do that. Yeah
You're gonna do that. Yeah, I'm gonna get a bird right here
Do that
Dude, I'm 30 years old. I'm not gonna get a bird tattooed so I can flip the bird
I don't even remember the last time I gave somebody the finger realistically. First of all
Finger feels so good. Yeah, but when's the last time you flip somebody off for real? The last time I like, uh, middle fingered? Yeah
When's the last time you went to somebody go, hey, buddy
Oh, fuck you
You never do that. Yeah, not really. Maybe in traffic, but I can't remember just you know, it's stupid that mustache one
What the girls get mustaches on their finger and they're like
Oh god, that's terrible basic
Yeah, but also you you said you wanted to get a bird on your finger. Yeah, but not this one
But you want to get a bird? Yeah, I like birds
Are you gonna get the other one? Remember when you said you were gonna get a Rolex crown
I wanted to get it right here
but probably not
I want a whole bunch of little tats
Yeah, and then I want to put an elephant on my thigh
What an elephant's head on my thigh. Yeah, you want to get an elephant's head on your thigh. They're my favorite animal elephants. Yeah
I didn't know that. Yeah, I want to get the little elephant like right here in my thigh
Okay, I like elephants. They're cool. Yeah, I mean I like elephants. Yeah elephants are dope
You know a bunch of elephants died over the weekend. Yeah, I know I saw that like six of them fucking sucks
They were all trying to save each other. I know man
They're a pack animal
They weren't going down. It's tough, man. I didn't even know you could kill an elephant
I honestly was just about to say the same thing. I did not know that you could kill an elephant like elephants are tough
You ever try to stab an elephant?
It's hard
I mean not personally, but I know I know people who have dabbled
I know people who have dabbled. Uh, no, but I want to get before we forget. I want to get back to that kid that was on Dr.
Phil. There's no way that was real, right?
Dude, no, it wasn't because I know who that kid is now. I know who he is because someone, uh
Reply to the tweet. Oh that kid chris. You reply to that tweet that I put out singer chris. Yeah. Yeah
So he was like, uh, he's like this kid's a troll. He used to hit me up back in the day like for me to repost his shit or whatever
Okay, and then I found his instagram
And I've seen him with that kid james charles before
So like he's an informer type of dude. Who's james charles? Is that the one that like fucked his cat?
No, that's shane dawson. Oh, sorry. No james charles was the the the makeup gay kid who
He just it was like a whole controversy. You don't know james charles, dude. We didn't we talk about this or am I bugging?
What did he do?
There was like this whole thing where uh, it was like, you know, there was
Turmoil in the in the makeup industry of youtube or whatever it's called. What do you do like steal someone's look? I think he like, uh
Oh, man, that's how I know. I'm older. I'm old
Am I supposed to know james charles is I even I don't know who people are
If I show you a picture you'd be like, I know that kid
See, I thought you were talking about that other guy this the the the star guy
Jeffrey star that's who I thought you were talking about. Yeah, I've seen that guy because like is any like friends with the kardashians or something
I don't know, but they they're they do the same kind of shit
That dude's rich as shit apparently. He probably like put out like a ton of
Makeup products and shit for him, but to do james charles didn't he say some racist though too one time? I don't know
I don't know man
Everything's so touching
I don't know the fuck all right, but james charles. Yeah, it's not about james charles
So like james charles, I've seen this kid who was on dr. Phil with him and he's like an influencer
So I can only assume that yeah, this is obviously fake and he was trying to go the same route as
Cash me as I exactly most down to person in the world. Yeah, and I feel like dr. Phil knows what it's up
He knows what he's doing. Yeah, of course
He wants ratings just as much as anybody else. Yeah, because he was like, uh, don't you think that your family means something to you
That's a pretty good dr. Phil. Yeah, it's a little bit of dr. Phil and bill clinton there
Yeah, no, I got more dr. Phil on my end. That was pretty good. Nice. Keep going. Keep going. I'll put you on the spot
I'm sorry. Yeah, no, but he'll be that kid and be like, yeah, let my parents like don't have followers. They get followers
I'm sorry. Did you just say
That your mom doesn't have followers?
Come on, I mean like
They're like she's like a clout chaser. He said he said say something about clout. I don't know
I hate the word clout hate it hate and the other word that I hate too is relevant
Oh my god, you're not even relevant. It's like
Why why does the youth hold on to like being relevant to being relevant?
Why is it? Why is that such a
That word is not even used for anything else besides like telling somebody they're not relevant
What is but how is someone relevant or do you just mean like popping?
That's what I'm saying. Say popping like yeah, like nobody even knows who you are to say that
You're not even relevant. You're not even relevant. How you
Where's the relevant meter here, bro? The beehive came after me once and told me I was irrelevant like mad hard
I was like, damn
But like because I was like, yeah, I don't really like Beyonce because it was like a hashtag trending on twitter
And it was like unpopular opinions and I was like
Haven't really liked a bunch of Beyonce's uh new music, but love on top is fire
That was like my tweets. I'm like that right and then they were coming at me like who the fuck are you?
You're not even relevant and I was like god. I was like, I wasn't even trying I just feel like
If someone's gonna jump down your throat about an opinion about Beyonce, it's like god forbid you ever had a real opinion about anything
They're gonna destroy you
But I did like we did put out a thing about Beyonce a long long time ago
And the comments were mostly
nice
Really? Yeah, they were we did one like Beyonce is like
She's all right
And we I mean you both had that conversation like yo, she's all right. I just don't get the god thing
Yeah, she's like she just transcended like like yeah, she became like an offspring of jesus
So I was like, you know, I was like, it's cool. Like it's cool. Like that's your uh
Gimmick
Yeah, yeah, it's queen. It's yeah, it's queen. Yeah, that's queen. But like, you know, I just like that people can't stand it either
I mean, I just never think of going so hard for someone. I don't know personally
On the interwebs. Yeah, you know, maybe when I was younger
Like if someone was like, yeah, like Eminem sucks me like, yo, fuck up. Yeah, he's one of the big rappers all the time
But then I like now like I don't give a shit
And he does kind of suck now
No, I don't know man the the whole fangirl like fandom
My mom's not even relevant
Like some of them are like like start being rich and like maybe that's what he said
Right, he said if they have followers and they need to be here right now and he's like
Kind of like obviously we're like, was that morning? Yeah, and fucking dr. Phil is just like blown away about that. Wait, wait, wait, wait
hold on
Dr. Phil was fucking dr. Phil is caking. I wonder if he's even a real doctor
Does anyone ever looked into that?
I don't know man. What does he even do? Like does he provide?
Does he
Diagnose or does he do anything? That's what I'm saying. Does he have like a private practice?
Yeah, like what's the difference between him and mori?
I don't think anything because it's like, yo come on my show
Argue in front of everyone and then like let's get to this next episode. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, we'll be right back after this
He he does have a degree. Yeah, obviously. I mean he's a doctor
No, you can't just be calling on people doctors that aren't doctors
So then there's another thing here that says dr. Phil is not a doctor
Okay, but it's probably also one of the things where like dentists aren't doctors
They are doctors, but they're not doctors like I always wonder like if I if like a dentist was on a plane
Right and like somebody like had a stroke or something
You think they have enough medical training to like help them out? No, dude. I mean if they got a cavity, maybe
Doctor hurry up. This man has a root canal
All right. All right. He's definitely having a stroke, but that insizer needs to come out stat stat. Oh god. Look at this cavity
Sir, do you floss?
Definitely not. There's no response. You're gonna have to pull it out
Um, but I think those kids are you know my childhood dentist
Psycho
Yeah, I had a really nice little asian woman who was very nice
I had this old greek woman who would do it out of her like fucking house sounds about right, you know what i'm saying?
Yeah, it was close. We used to call her dr. Death
Because she would just be a bitch wants to rip teeth out
Because like kids teeth they don't matter, you know, they're irrelevant. They're irrelevant
But she was just pulling those bitches because it was like yeah, you'll get a new one
Your adult teeth are relevant. Uh, yeah, I did why haven't gone back to her
The weirdest thing is when they scrape plaque off your teeth
And it's like I can't believe this was on my tooth
Oh, like at your cleaning. Yeah, when they do the cleaning I was like, how's that even happen?
Not only that, but it's like, you know, if you guys have these tools, why don't we just get these tools?
Yeah, fuck give me this thing. I'll do it every day. So I don't have to fucking come back here
And why is dental care so goddamn expensive? I don't think it's that expensive
Oh, it's yeah, dude if you have like if you need dental insurance. No dental insurance is cheap. Yeah
Dental care though because like not like a lot of things are covered by like that insurance like oh, yeah
I did a root canal last year was $400. Yeah with my insurance. Yeah
What the fuck yeah, and then it would have been like probably like 1200 if you dude and that was like a little asian dude
And he fucked my mouth
It felt like he was just like
Fucking the weirdest thing is when your mouth is numb and they're in there, but you can't really feel that they're in there
But they're in there
Yeah, you know and it's like
Yo, when I got my when I got the did I ever tell you that story when my hand broke
They had to put a needle in my hand this long
Down to my bone and I felt it on my bone
Because what they had to do was is they had to numb my hand
And break it back in place
Yeah, yeah
So what they do is is they they
You can't make a fist at that time. Remember I sent you a picture of my whole hand just like this
First they try to drain it
Of blood just a little bit so they can get like a better like insertion point and right here
They sent it in through my hand
And it touched my bone
And they shot me with this numbing agent and then from here
To there it kind of got numb and then I heard my hand they go one
She cracked it and just
And cracked my hand back in place thrown up. That was a great crack sound. That wasn't pretty good. Yeah
I'm just afraid to have any kind of major surgery, but we've talked about that a billion times
But I want to get back. Uh, oh cracking makes me puke. Yeah bones cracking makes me puke
Do you see the guy in the fucking Colts last night?
Wait some guy got tackled in the in the football game last night and his foot was
Totally the other way. Oh, yeah, and also, you know when I saw uh mason Rudolph get hit. I was like
That I was like, you know, this guy's dead
He got fucking blasted. I can't believe I'm getting to this point, but like
Football is too dangerous
Yeah, man, it's just too dangerous people are just evolving and I love I love I love football
I'm one of the biggest football fans in the world. Don't get me wrong. I have three fantasy teams
I love football
But seeing these guys do this to each other sometimes every once in a while. I'm like, yeah, I
Like
Like I had like that moment like uh in the Giants game where is uh Xavier Rhodes and uh, uh,
Who's the white back? Uh griffin griffith on the Vikings
He's like a bad a black, uh the white like cornerback
Oh the safety the safety smith smith smith. Yeah
Harrison smith or whatever dude
They went to hit sterling shepherd and they missed and they just collided heads and Xavier Rhodes just stopped moving
I was like, yeah, this
Is hard to watch because imagine you have the biggest
Strongest man in the world and the fastest and the fastest and they run full speed to each other into each other
Yeah, before football gets like completely you think like football will ever be done
I think it'll just be a very different game. Like I think eventually they'll get rid of kickoffs
Because that's just dangerous and we're kicking them all the ends of anyway. Yeah, and people are dying all the time
Not not dying, but like you see guys just oh, and then just face down on the turf for like
A touch back. Yeah
Not cool. Not cool, but like
I think
I guess they're like modern day gladiators, right? Would you say? Yeah, they're in a stadium
Going off those people use to kill each other. Yeah, I know
But like even like when I watch fighting sometimes, right?
And like it's a boxing match and some dude is just getting the shit kicked out of them
I'm like, yeah, I don't know if I can watch this and it's weird because it's like
It's a sport, but this dude's punching this dude in the head. Yep. We're just calling it a sport. Yeah
this dude's getting fucking brutalized and like
I could say I think in the NFL you're gonna see people just start retiring earlier and earlier and earlier
Yeah, that's gonna happen first and then like they'll figure it out. It's gonna be like a shorter league
I think they're gonna figure out a way to do that where it's like
Or you know what they'll probably do like you can't I don't know
I don't know how you even stop these hits because like they're too big and too strong
Dude getting blasted over the center like over this middle of the field from a safety
It's like, how do you stop that from happening? I love when people are like, oh, come on
And let them play. I was like, dude, if you let them play, they're gonna get paralyzed
Yeah, just fucking throw them that Mason Rudolph hit was really bad. If you guys haven't seen that like look it up somehow
But Mason Rudolph got hit in the face sleepy night nights and he went just
Out he was snoring and shit. I was like this man is outskies. Yeah, that's a bad one
like
Do you think
Since there's such trained athletes
Like that hit would kill a normal person
No
You right it would probably put you in the same situation. Maybe a little bit worse
Yeah, I don't think you can train your like brain
But like right but like people's necks
Like if you have like a like a monster neck like you could take a better hit probably
It's the same old woman. I was talking about before that. I was gonna punch her. She died. She died
Her head would have came off. Her brain's probably already applesauce. Anyway. Yeah
No, but he uh, yeah, I think for the most part though like
And it's crazy because as long as it's not a child out there
And the craziest thing though is like they'll put them on a stretcher card them off keep playing
Yeah, they're like
Thumbs up. All right, let's go right back to him. It's not dead
The announcers just like well, he moved his hand. That's good
Would you be one of the players that like kneel real close like close and pray?
You know what?
I I I want to like get your thoughts on this because I was thinking about it the other day
You know when someone gets hurt. Yeah, because I mean we've played sports our whole lives
I've gotten hurt sometimes and when you're laying on the ground
And then there's that one dude who's very like or like your teammate gets hurt
And you go over to see if he's good and then people like give me some room. Give me some room. Give me some room
For what he can breathe. It's the earth. There's a lot of air
He will be fine. We're in an open stadium. Why are we give him some room? Yeah, I don't understand that
I don't like that. Like it makes me annoyed. But yo, I'm fucking seeing if he's okay. Stop pushing me
Yeah, yeah, like give him some room. Give him some room. I'm not gonna stand 10 yards back. What what?
It doesn't make any sense
And also, you know how I am when you tweaked your knee and basketball. I was right over there
I was like, yo, this guy's hurt like we're gonna go get him taken care of now
I I feel I hate like if it's medical people. I'm like, okay, that's fine
If it's someone on my team or like somebody else telling me to like get away pisses me off
That used to piss me off. I used to hate that give him some room. Dude. He's got or give him some air
He's got air. Yeah, he's breathing. His leg is broken. Yeah, that's all it is
His leg is up his own asshole. That's the only problem
Oxygen's not going to fix this because I look at it like this. It's like dude. I work with this kid every day after school
Like I'm not just gonna let him lay here alone on the ground
Like I'm just gonna like try and talk to him like calm him down
Everybody of mine fucking like broke his foot like during one of our games
Like another guy broke his fucking shoulder like separated like cracked it in half disgusting
And like yeah, like he had to wear this whole fucking like contraption all year
But uh, I remember even doing that. I'm like and people would always be like, all right back up back up. I was like, dude
You didn't have a heart attack. He's fine. It just makes no sense to me. Like what is the what is that?
were you guys allowed to wear visors
We weren't allowed to wear visors. I tried to sneak one in they didn't let me do it
I don't think so. I don't think so back plates were dope. I wore back plate
You wore a back plate. Fuck. Yeah, that's back when I didn't have a gut
I used to do that Zeke shit all the time, but um, I running back used to do that used to Zeke it
Yeah, it's fire. It's the coolest look there is he was filthy too. Yeah, he's probably the only one that I think
War advisor, but I'm not sure I don't think so
um
Do you think
Like would you ever want to like coach your like kids teams? Yeah, that'd be cool, right?
I would I would like to coach again. See I'm torn with football because like I know it's super dangerous
But I would love for my kid to play. Yeah, because the party wants to go out there and because like
No, it's sad. It's sad because like it has nothing to do with like reliving
No, yeah, it's not but the party wants to see if your kid can handle it. I don't know. It's weird
No, I I would like I hope that my kid is into sports and wants to compete like I think that's just like a cool thing
I think sports are very important right when it comes to like it teaches you a lot about life and shit
But football did such a
Massive thing for me. Yeah, that I I now realize how
Important it was to do that because I don't think I would be the kind of person
I am if I didn't play football
No, because you make like brothers doing that shit though
Like you go through mad shit every day is the same shit and it sucks and it sucks
but at least you're going through with those guys and it's like if
Basketball practice never did that for me baseball practice. I caught five balls and hit bp didn't do anything for me and I sucked anyway
um
But football was more like dude like this shit is grueling every day
Yeah, it sucks and I hate it and I know I have to do it and then I got to go home and do homework
Which I never did anyway, but you know just the idea of like, yo, I gotta do all this old shit
Yeah, I I just like
it's it's something about uh
Football where it's unlike any other sport and that
You go to you have to you figure out how to balance your time
Yeah, because you have to do school work and then you have to be ready for practice
You have to stay after school
So you sacrifice a lot and you're just a kid in high school that mostly other people don't have to do stuff like that
But it's like, you know what?
I'm gonna do that and not only when you get to practice
You're not just like running suicides like in basketball practice like that was probably the worst ones where your coach was like pissed off
And was like very rare get on the line. Yeah, and you were running forever. You know if you miss a free throw
You go there and back. It's like all like regular fucking shit. Yeah, but in football
It's like every day you just get your shit fucked up. Yeah, it's like we're gonna wheelbarrow walk 400 yards
Yeah, we're playing the worst team in the section tomorrow
Like we don't want the fuck and then you just like get
You do Oklahoma's and you just get crushed by your linebackers. Did you guys ever do bull in the ring?
We never did that. No. Oh we used to do that shit. That shit was fucking concussed city. I'm pretty sure that's illegal now
Yeah, it is it is
That's the one where it's like everyone stands in a circle and someone just comes out here in the circle
Yeah, and you're surrounded by people right and someone just comes out of nowhere
Someone comes out of nowhere and you have to remember the numbers like we would do numbers
So like I would you would have to remember what numbers were behind you
So you would have to turn around but most of the time they'd be running full speed at you and just fucking bury you
Yeah, nobody like times you get hit in the back of the head and like stupid
Like you said, it's illegal. You can't do that shit anymore. Yeah, but I would like my kid to play because it's a real
I think football teaches you the most about life than any other sport
Maybe you know what it is. It's a lot of listening. Yeah, and it's a team sport
Yeah, because basketball you could argue like I'm growing up when I played basketball like in in our uh
Our fucking whatever
Cyo yeah, the cyo team like our team was really bad
Like I was the best player by far and I could literally like and then that gave me some complex when I was younger to be like
I don't have to listen to these dudes
Right like I don't have to pass them the ball
Yeah, or I don't have to whatever my dad would like chuck that shit
My dad would like wring it in when he was my coach, but sometimes he wasn't and I would just like you know
I was just like, you know, I know pulling it. Yeah
Raindrops exactly, but in football it's like, you know, you could be the best player in the whole league
But it doesn't matter because if your team sucks, you suck and also it's like
Everyone has to do their job. Yeah, like if you fuck up everything fucks up. Yeah most of the time like basketball if you got a kid that's like
Dropping 40 at night like you can make some mistakes. Yeah, you know what I'm saying like you got like joey
He's gonna come like chuck it up like we're all right, but like football. It's like dude if you miss this block like we suck
Yeah, I can't throw the ball. Yeah, so I think that's right. It's like I think that game teaches you the most like how to take instruction
There's mad plays
Mad plays for like a young child
To because you got to think about it. It's like dude, like I ran a shotgun. I was 15 years old
I was like reading a fucking shotgun playbook. I'm like, what the fuck is this?
but
Anyway, uh
The thing the thing the thing. Yeah, I think I'll let my kid play if you want to play I'll let him play for sure
Yeah, me too. I would definitely yeah, I'm not gonna let his mom stop him. Fuck
No, um
I wanted to bring up this thing too with this girl that uh posted a picture on her instagram
And she tried to get a marketing job
And they wouldn't give her a job because she was in a bikini
Yeah, what year is it?
Apparently it's 1946
But out the question I see that thigh
and um
The question I wanted to ask you is is that now that we're moving into like this new
I guess I hate I hate using the word millennial but like millennial generation
Like do you think that you should be judged if you have like a provocative picture on your instagram and not be able to get a job
Define provocative like this is what I'm saying by this guy's standards this person stands a bikini picture
No, dude, that's what people wear to the bait. That's what I'm saying
That's dumb. Yeah, if you don't get a job because you have a picture and a bikini on your instagram
What who can get a job?
But what if you're like modeling and like and you're in like brawn panties you're a model. That's what I'm saying
What I think like, you know, if you're like starting to line off somebody's dick
Like you might not be but might not be fit for the job
You might not be able to post that on instagram, right?
You know what I'm saying or if it's like you like funneling like 11 beers on like a tuesday night
Might not be the best guy for the job. You might be but I can't I can't
I just don't understand like why we're all pretending to be perfect like the person who
Is one of my friends his job is to hire people for his company
I've known that kid my whole life. He goes through instagrams. He goes through this and that to see how everyone like checks out
I would love to hear his process, but
Why am I gonna pretend like yo, I was 16 with you drinking and shit in parks. Yeah
You're the one who's gonna like pass the judgment and he doesn't he actually hires like a lot of convicts on purpose
Yeah
I think they get a grant from like the or like ex cons. He hires a lot of no because he's he's like, yeah
No, man, like everyone gets a second chance. Whatever. He's hired felons like multiple felons like
It's like a thing. It's fine. You're saying I got a chance if I ever get locked up to get a job
Yeah, you go right to him. Nice. Um, but I just feel like the people who are vetting these things are like whatever
Like everyone's done dumb shit in their lives 100% so like why are we pretending that everyone's perfect?
And it's not even about like, oh, we we know that you did it. We just can't see you post it, which I don't get either
It's like a don't ask don't tell type thing or it's like, you know, just make it look different
Yeah, and then for who if we all know that we all have like we drank when we were 17 years old or 16 years old
We all know that we all know like everyone's smoking weed and shit
Right, but just don't post it like for but then for who who we faking out
I know nobody and then thing and the other thing too is which is weird
Is that yearbooks like you see like like Justin Trudeau's like yearbook?
He had like brown face or whatever. Hey yearbook editor. Let's maybe let's not put that in the book
What like how racist were people back then like this is funny
Let's put this in the yearbook. It was in the yearbook. I think so. Oh, I don't know about that
Yeah, I thought it was just like a picture you had. No, I think it was in his yearbook
Let me ask you a question hit me. I mean, this isn't a question for us to be honest with you
It's all right because I have a hard time
I think I have said this before but I have a hard time understanding blackface brown face and all that shit
Well, the thing is with blackface is that when they when the old time actors the white actors used to do that
The all those characters they used to make them out to be like buffoons and stupid
And like
So they would play like black characters, right and they would be like dumb as shit
Uh-huh like
Like they used to like play him like that and have like the big eyes and like shit like that. So that's why it's like
Heavily offensive because those roles were never like here comes if the male lead in blackface
It was like no here comes like the stupid idiot of the show and it's modeled over like a probably a black man
I mean not probably 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's why
All right, so that's why they take offense because it's so then so then Justin Trudeau he was Aladdin
Yeah
So what about that? I mean, I think it just hits different
I don't know. I think it's just like it gets like
Packed into there. Yeah, you know, it's like
No, because I I like I get it. I just want to be I just want someone to explain
To like the point where like I know it's fucked up
Yeah, it just comes from old fucking like racist entertainment where they try to make them all look like like buffoonery
Yeah, I wanted to know like the origin behind it. So I could like better understand, but I was just like, you know, whatever
um
But do you think that?
Him doing that should cost him his job
Or do you think like
Do you think there was mal intent?
Now do I think there was mal intent? No
Um, but does that matter because it's like you should know that you idiot
I think it's it goes hand in hand. It's like
You know, like you could you could dress up as Aladdin with nothing on your face. I know you're Aladdin, bro
Yeah, you know, that's the thing
It's like you're going the extra mile to like look
Indian
Arabian, what was he even in the movie?
Arabian nights. Yeah, but I don't I don't know. We're like, where did the movie take place?
I assume Saudi Arabia. Okay. I don't even know. So like
For him to just be like, oh, I'm gonna go that extra mile. It's like why it's just a question of why though
Uh, I don't know because
Why do people and you not know it's crazy too is like Tropic Thunder, bro
Yeah, Robert Downey did it
And not only did he do it. He went full. Yeah. Yeah
And got nominated for an Oscar
For that movie. Yes. Yes. 100 I know for a fact. Wow. Yeah, I didn't even think that movie was like
Not that just people thought he was so good in it
And he was making like it was a satire on like
Um method actors that like they'll do it and like they don't see boundaries like there's obviously boundaries
And um
You could never do I don't think you could do that today
Probably not that movie just happened, didn't it Tropic Thunder? That was like 10 years ago. Maybe
It's not that long dude simple jack
Do you see how like Ben Stiller's acting in that? Yeah
Super super super over the top full well full retard as I call it
He goes full retard. Yeah, it's like even that like I don't even know if you could do that nowadays
And that was the same movie and that was the same movie
You had a white guy in blackface and simple jack full retard
And then they talk about it together
I think Tropic Thunder is great though. I think the movie's amazing. I thought it was funny. Yeah
But that's it it is it's it's weird and it's also like
There has to be
Like I wish they just made like some age limit like where you're allowed to just like fuck up until
Oh
You know, I'd be like dude anything like dude, you went brown face after 16. You can't have a job now
You know what I'm saying, but it's like but if you did at 15, it's like, all right, cool
It's like, all right. All right. You did meet the limit. We'll still give you a bond. You're good
Like you're you're good, right? Like I like dude, especially nowadays like it's a very thin line
You know, I also I also will say this. Um
I think kids are
Way more like self-entitled now. Yeah, because they have more information now
So in a way, they are smarter, but I think they're just like
Dumber with what they do with the information, but that's a different conversation. Uh, but
I think it's
it's almost
Foolish to think that
Everyone's gonna be perfect. Yeah, of course
You could dig up just a suit 100%
You know, especially because now these kids like like yo, how much dumb shit did mean you do?
But we didn't have social media until we were
18 years old. Yeah, maybe even later. Yeah, you know, I mean and
All the dumb shit I've said in my life. Oh my god, you know, I mean, I don't even I can't even get started
I said some of the dumbest things on earth. I said, I still say some of the dumbest things on earth. I'll say that
yeah, but like I feel
I feel like we're lucky in a way because we do this for a living. Yeah, like
We don't get a pass. We don't use that. We don't we don't do
Shit like that, but I'm saying it's like
This girl was trying to get a regular ass job. Yeah, like it's gonna be tough for like the people to get and trying to get regular jobs
Yeah, because like say you have a podcast with your buddy and like you say some shit on there. That's just you're joking around
It's not even it's like
mildly offensive
If you if you choose to take it the wrong way do one
Like no, no, like when we were on here when we were said, uh
The the you said the uber driver was bangledeshi. Boom. Yeah. No, but even on the other one
We were talking about how like chinese is like angry language. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know like someone could take that as borderline offensive and then it's like
If i'm trying to get a job and somebody sees that they're not gonna give me a job
Yeah, because they're like dude
Like you made some comments. It's like well, dude
Yes, I do like i'm trying to like be like a comedian or something like that
That was like a big thing my parents were telling me like when I first started making videos and shit
They're like be careful don't pee on anybody
Well, no, they were just saying because like I was saying a lot of stuff on the internet and like it was you know
Fuck shit piss. Yeah out there and uh, they're like, you know, I don't know how an employer's gonna like all that stuff
Yeah, and I think as time gets
As time goes on time gets older. I was about to say isn't it isn't that the song time gets old
Children get older
I'm about to start crying don't sing that song
Oh
Well, I've been
afraid of
change
and I
earn my life
around you
It's a good song. Steven Knicks loves colonna pen and loves cocaine shout out. Um, probably don't mix those. No, no, no
I think she's clean now. She's been clean for a while. Nice
Steven Knicks come on the show. Um
I think as time gets
Older I'm just gonna keep it
Time gets older time. Yep. Uh, I think it's gonna get a little more lenient though
Because dude 30 30 years from now like there's gonna be a picture of my ass
Like if I'm a kid if I'm a kid growing up in this growing up in this period, you know what I'm saying
I don't even know what you mean
Like I'm not saying me myself
I'm saying a kid that's born now
When he goes to get a job when he's 30 when he was 15 odds are there's a picture of him on instagram
Like with his ass cheeks out
Moonin moonin just fucking around last time you mooned somebody. Oh, yeah, you moon me the other day
Yeah, I should the other day. I also have a very close up of your ass crack by the way. Yeah, you do. Yeah
25 bucks memo only
um
But like I hope that at some point it gets a little a little more lenient
I think it will first shit like this
Dressing in a bikini and someone has the audacity to not give you a job because you have a bikini on
Shut the fuck up. One could argue that could be a reason why you would get a job
Movies, dude
Movies, yeah, I'm saying first of all stupid stupid boss
Girls kind of hot
Quarter on the office. Yeah
Who's fucking office morale here?
Yeah, man, let's bring some color to our lives. Think you'd ever hire a woman
Why'd you just look me up and down like that? Like I'm some fucking woman hater
Whatever hire woman. Absolutely. I'm just kidding. I'm just I'm staying in the realm of these guys don't hire one
No, I
Well me personally, I mean not to get all serious, but I would love to do that because I want to have like
Because it's always just me and you. Yeah, it'd be cool to have I want some women
Chose you're gonna it's gonna blow up now. Oh my god. I want you know
Someone's gonna want to try and work here
Oh, no, not like here like when I have an office and shit hill not in this place
We play video games and fart here. We can't have women here yet. I've literally farted two seconds. Yeah
They all know we fart. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like I could never I don't know if I could ever fire somebody
Fire. Yeah, like I
Like not in this type of like aspect like something's not working out. It's not working out
I'm saying like hey, man. Come in for a second
Like you're fired and just be like, uh, yeah, uh, you don't got no need to sit down. Listen, you know, we got some
You know, we're gonna have to let you go. I don't think I could do it. I think I could fire somebody
I know you could
If there was a legitimate reason why yeah, there's yes, of course
I could never fire someone over like a
Just like oh, we're cutting budgets and you have to choose like yo
I'm just cutting this guy because like he's like the oldest if I was cut
No, but I think that's illegal. Of course it is but people do it all the time. Yeah
If there was a legitimate reason why I've been like, yo, I just like can't afford to pay you
Anymore. Yeah, but that that makes sense though. You can't get mad at somebody that can't pay you
Yeah, or just I don't know but it's like or if you just suck. It's like dude, you've been late every day. You've
Like haven't shown up
You're gonna fire right now. You're wearing a hat. This is kiff. Am I getting fired right now?
No, but think about that and in a in a serious like, you know, whatever
It's like if I if I have
Someday like 10 employees at that point. It's not a fucking joke anymore. No, it's not like it's like, yo people people gotta be here
And there's like strangers here
That
Yeah, you're walking in the office every day. You don't even know most of them are that's what I'm saying
Yeah, and like then it's like a serious thing of being like, dude
What do you think you just fucking show up when you want right, you know
Or you think that like this and that like not how it works
And if people you'd be surprised I think a lot of people get fired and it's like easy for people because it's like
Dude, you can't do this at any other job. I think it's like
Probably the first one's the hardest
First god is the deepest and didn't get them out of there and then you're good
How would you fire me? How would I like what would you say?
Would you do a face-to-face or via text? I would never fire anyone via text. All right, so like
Walking through it. You want me to fire you fire me right now in the air. Get the fuck out
See, I would expect that. No, I would never say get the fuck out
It'd be a long convo
I'd cry probably. Yeah, you would I would that's really. Oh, just thank you for the opportunity man
Oh, no, all I can do is play football man
Yo, realistically, I thought about the other day because I had a dream that I didn't work here anymore for some reason. Okay, and uh
I was like, I don't know what I would do after this
So you could basically make me do anything
You know, yeah sexual you're gonna get a pay cut financial
uh
I just deduct 15 grand off your salary. Fuck it
See that would suck, but here's the thing
I believe in like don't say it. No, no, no, no
If it if I knew where it was going
I maybe I could work. You know what I'm saying
If you were just like I just I want it. I'd be like, oh, damn
Drop this hammer on me. No, I don't know
like
I I've never seen myself as like a boss
No, I don't like telling people what to do. Why not? It just feels weird, but you got ideas
I do I have a lot of ideas, but you can make them come to life
But even like with josh, right? Yeah, like he cuts the clips. I I feel so uncomfortable being like, hey, can you give me like two more clips?
Because like I'm not as you know
This is a team here. I know it's a team, but I feel I feel bad. Why I don't know. I don't like telling people what to do
I don't even tell myself what to do
And that's why I do nothing. That's why I do nothing
So I don't do anything
Because I can't tell anyone to do anything is what I'm trying to say
I'm not an authoritative figure. I'm not an authoritative person. I think when you change that it'll be nice
I hope so
Because I you know with the way that I want to do stuff like hopefully there's like, you know
Yeah, you're gonna replace me with greg. I already know this and then it's gonna be like the social network
I'm gonna have to walk up here like andrew garfield
I'm gonna have to say i'm gonna sue you and then i'm saying i'm coming
I'm not coming back for just 10 percent. I'm coming back for everything. I gotta scare greg on the way out and then call
I'll tell you what when you write me a check for $12,000 now. We can talk about this little movie you put up in your head, okay
Because that's what he did. That's true. Yeah, I'll rate you check for $12,000
When can I cash that who gave you a check for $12,000 no andrew garfield say greg you son of a bitch
He did it he went over my head other people's lives $12,000 we other people dead is what i'm talking about
I wrote that in the car. Yeah, no, but
He was the cfo. He like helped him start it with the money. Yeah, so that's how that
That's why he got screwed. Yeah
Because he was like i'm the he was uh the cfo and movie's really good. I liked it
That's the only role i've ever liked that guy in garfield or jesse irons or whatever. Yeah zombie lance. All right
Yeah, that wasn't bad either. Yeah
But yeah, I don't know
Like you don't think that you could be like a producer where it's like
You have a team of like a cameraman and an editor and you're like, I have this idea and we're gonna do that
Yes, I could I could do that. I that's literally telling people what to do. Yeah. Yeah, but it that's more of like a collaborative effort
Like i'm talking about telling people what to do like yo bro. Can you get me like two more clips?
Oh
Really? It makes me feel weird. It's a job. I know it makes me feel strange. I'd rather you say it
Are you gonna get over that here? I will I'll try I'll try I just never I've never liked telling people what to do
I don't know why it makes me feel
like
icky
Look at you. I don't know makes me feel like you
Why because like
I don't know. I don't know
Too humble
Could be
damaging humble
Okay
Anything else?
What else do I have?
Shit
Piece of shit
Pussy piece of shit. You'll never make it in this business. You'll never make it in this town
Don't let the door hit you in the ass. Don't let the door hit you in the pussy in the way out kid
It's a fat one. No, but um, uh
It's weird. I gotta boss up
It's not really about bossing up. No, dude. I just look mad big right there. Look in the camera
Look I'm gonna play detackle big afro guy. Yeah word. Yeah, I don't know
What do you think? When do you think you kind of like we're able to do that?
Do what like
Tell people yeah, because I remember even at first like when we first started working like it kind of was like that
But then like at some point you were like
Sit down
We're gonna have a chat
You know what I mean? And then I was like, all right. I was looking for that because I'm a person that needs direction
Yeah, I'm like a wild child
You know, I'm saying like I was always that kid that would like wander off. You know what I mean?
Like you gotta keep me in line sometimes. Okay, as long as you don't hit me
Hard
Lightly hit me
When did I when was I able? I don't know. I was just like it seems like necessary. I think that if it was me like
I like being
taught things
So it's like, oh, here's how to do it. Like I know how to do it. So here's how to do it. Do that
Would you say
That you're a control freak
No, I think I'm actually getting a lot better at uh
Delegating
I think so too. I was about seven months ago. That was the hardest
That's the hardest thing for me to do because I I mean
Well, it's your shit. Well, you know what it is. It's like everything I always was very like
Too proud to get help from anyone. So I did everything myself
Yeah, and I learned how to do everything and like whatever
So it was very hard for me at first to like figure out like what I was gonna have you do and then like I was just like
And I feel like still now I even think that I have to
Oh, no, because I feel
I gotta turn up
No, I think that uh, listen, I'm gonna start awarding people in the office. I just
I think I need to start torturing. Yeah, I gotta get my point across man Tuesday. No torture day. I think um
I was gonna say that uh
You know, I'm not I I know how you feel with being like, uh, it makes me feel weird to like tell people to do
But I think I need to do that even more
if I want to like
uh
Get to where I need to where all this shit needs to be and there needs to be like
I agree with that. I agree with that. There needs to be a hierarchy. I love that. We're having this conversation out here
No, because it's real though. It is real. No. Yeah, because like I'm the type of person. It's like
Um
You could tell me what to do and I'm not gonna be like
You could tell me what to do. Um
I I don't mind if you like feel that way
No, it's not like I don't take it as like oh my god my boss songs
I'm just like songs like something needs to get done and it didn't get done or it needs to get done and do it
No, you know what it is. We've been definitely well well
We're getting better. We're getting better over here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're a little better more well oiled over here
It's what I was trying to say. There's more wd-40. Yeah, there's more wd-40 going on over here. Uh, no, uh
No, I was I was just gonna say how long you're gonna hold that
Yeah
Uh
Uh, no, I think that uh, it's it's tough because
We're friends
So like when you work with your friends, it's hard. It's only business
No, but it's not about it's it's about like
Like you said, you don't want to tell josh like yo do this thing, but if it was some random like
20 year old intern, I would tell them do it all day. That's what I'm saying
Like yo, just fucking do it because like whatever, but it's like when it's your friends
You don't want to be like
Right them think you you have this complex about yourself
But there's a there's a way to do it and I think I need to find that balance of being like
There needs to be deadlines
It needs to be more of like a hierarchy and not just like this is just whatever we're doing
Well, once you instill the schedule that helped everything out a lot. Yeah
Everything yeah, if you guys knew how this show was made like what two months ago a month ago
Like yeah, like two months ago. I don't know how we were putting out anything
Every episode would get uploaded at 4 a.m. On sunday for monday
And I was just like
And I wouldn't know if it was going up until it was out and I'd be like, oh, okay
It went out keep on us toes keep on us toes
But we gotta we got a little schedule got a little schedule going, you know sat me down hit me a little bit
Yeah, also santa gato studios is making a comeback santa gato studios making a big comeback
We're about to fuck that shit up better. Fuck it up
Better fuck that green screen. Yeah, man. Fuck it. We got a green screen now. So
Obviously gonna do porno in space
Could could do sex porn. Yeah
Sex porn space porn
Sex porn sex porn is my favorite kind of porn now
Yeah, of course sex porn is the best. Yeah
In like I wanted to say this the right way, I don't know why my my brain stops
In like five years from now, uh-huh, right
You're gonna get thrown with some equity, right? No. All right. Uh, where can I find you?
I tried guys guys I tried I tried
No in the event of a sale. Yeah, which I don't foresee to be honest with you, uh
In the event of a sale
point
Not a point
Not a point why not but definitely like
Okay, all right. I'll take I'll take a stipend. I'm pretty sure that
I'm pretty sure that's happened what that happens like at elite there were people who had equity
Yeah, and then there was like the og's that were like the original
Like ones who were there the don't they got thrown some yeah some cash
You think you'll ever start another like company? No
You don't think like you'll ever start like a bit like on my own. No, you think like like like uh, I'm just
Throwing the shit out in the air like an app or something
Like would you ever like want to do something like that while you're doing content at the same time? Um, yeah, maybe but I doubt it
Because I a lot of the thing that I have in mind for like the five-year plan is very all-encompassing as like a company
Of like the shit that I want to do the sex porn the sex porn
But I I don't because doing you know like apps people don't realize it's not you spend so much money, dude
So much money and not only that but it's just like, you know, there's like
teams of people making apps
Uh, but we'll see like I'll get attached to stuff like a wing
you know
I want to get attached to the wing. Yeah, I want to get attached to the wings
But uh, you know, I think I think for you
Once you master this
And you get it the way you want it to be you'll do other shit
Maybe I think so. I don't really have any other skills though. That's not true
I don't think so you you don't you don't know that yet
But I have so young joseph. I have no like I have no desire
to
Like create some software. No, but we're we're having fun right now. We're killing it right now. This is all I've done
My whole life. Yeah, which is kind of crazy to think about really. Yeah, I've only done this
So I just like that's all I really know and then if a company like
That I would want to build like sold for a ton of money and like yeah, I would probably be bored
But at least I'd still be able to just do what I do anyway, right?
So I don't think I would ever have a different job like I wouldn't like start a different like oh
Joe's doing
A fucking like some other shit, you know, and I would never do like motivational speaking. No
Or like be one of those dudes. It's tough. That's tough
You could you could do it, but I feel like those people are robbing people
Yeah, I wouldn't want people to pay to listen to me
But if someone was like, yo go talk to these people and they have questions. Yeah, I'll do it
But I'm not gonna like that's my job. Yeah is to motivate, you know
I don't know. Yeah, what's that guy's name tim robbins not tim robbins tony robbins
The guy like sells out like churches. Yeah, like people fucking come and listen to them talk get on flights and they fly
It's crazy. Yeah, just for him to be like
It's possible
Yeah, you you brought up a great how much time are we at? We're at
Wow an hour 38. Okay. All right. I'll make I'll make this short. You uh, you brought up, um
Gary v one time and uh, you're opinion on him was very interesting to me. It was
What he says
Is good for people that aren't
motivated
but
it's like uh
Like the language he uses are for like beginners
But like where is it for like the middle or like the higher class people that I mean higher class like
People that are successful or ready. No, I mean, I think what Gary v if you guys don't know who he is like
He's a motivational speaker investor. He has a company and all this shit. We're watching my videos
Huh?
You can watch my Gary v videos. Oh, yeah
But he's just very like in your face like just fucking get up and fucking work like fucking like, you know, he's like that
Um, I think he's a smart dude. No, he is a smart. I mean, obviously he's a smart dude
I mean, you're not I'm anyone who's successful smart in some way
but
he
to me all his stuff is
It's almost repetitive, right, which I think more like
Motivation is repetitive in a way, you know, like sometimes you need to be constantly motivated by the same things
But it is very repetitive and I I found I found it
to be
Obvious right because I think people like I said I called it the formula
But once you like figure out what it is and you and you have that thing
Then it's like oh
Like you you get it like you know people have it and you know people who don't have it, right?
You know and I don't know a lot of people with it that have like that mindset where it's like
Oh, okay, like this dude like he knows what he's or like whatever. Yeah, because it's
You know, and I hate fucking saying this but like would Gary V says shit like it's like, you know, it's very simple
I'm like, he's not wrong. Like I do find it to be simple. Um, not that success is simple, but it's just knowing
The only reason why it seems simple is because it's never discouraging
So it's like, yeah, this is what I this is what I do like whatever
You know like however long it takes or whatever like I never get discouraged if something's not working out
Right and we just actually had a quick like half joking conversation
But I also think another big part of success is knowing when you're trash like a lot of people are like, yo if you never fail
Uh, you only fail if you uh, give up and it's like, yo, it's also good to give up sometimes when you're not good at the thing
Like being realistic with yourself. Yeah, like if like you could be like we said like in comedy though, right?
Like say like you're not a great onstage presence
Like maybe try writing
Yeah, if you gave it a go for like six years doing stand-up comedy and it's like you're not good
Like you have you have to know when you're good in your bed. Yeah, you know
It's like you either have it or you don't like singers too
Yeah, it's like oh like you're not a good singer and it's like you don't want to step on people's dreams
You know what i'm saying, but it's like sometimes you got to step on your own
Yeah, I think I think I just I couldn't have it happened with me with football
I used to think I was gonna be a division one fucking half back. I was senior year was five eight and 175 pounds
like
D32 that was it. You know what I'm saying like
It just doesn't work out sometimes. I just I don't know man. Like when people get like
To me
I look at people
Who have like these giant they like grew some giant audience doing something like instagram or whatever
Yeah, and then they just start making music out of nowhere
But they're like one-off songs like every now and then like to me
That's a person that doesn't know what they're what they are good at right or doesn't know what they're like
That's a obviously a quick money grab and it's a good opportunity. Like yeah, we can make you sound good
Yeah, monetize yourself
But I think if you have a plan and you know like your vision and you know like what you want to do like you wouldn't do
Stuff like that, right?
You know, yeah, no, I hear you that just sounds like that just to me looks like chickens running around with their heads cut off
Right, like what else can we do? What else can we do? Like how else can we make money here or like whatever?
I'm only saying that because I was on this kid's like instagram like you last night and I'm like this is all obviously like fake
Like eat like easily recognizably fake content that he's creating and and he put out music
I was like this isn't even close to what your thing is. So what is your thing? Like what do you want to be?
Yeah, you know and and if it's just like oh actor
I'll make music and I got these instagram videos and I got this and that it's like
Do you have a plan or is it just all kind of you're just trying everything while you're still hot, you know
Yeah, just don't enough shit at the wall. Um another thing I wanted to ask and I'll end on this
Fake content on the internet like you just talked about
Like fake pranks that people obviously know why I don't know how are people watching that should be like, yo
There's people believe that shit. Yeah, how do you believe that? I think what is wrong with people?
Do you think they pay people? No, I think they're kids
Maybe I don't know man. I see people just be like, oh my god imagine and I'm like, yo, are we serious?
Yeah, are we really serious? No one knows that this is fake
yeah
it was and it's uh, it's tough man because
The video I saw this kid was like
Is this the cloud chase dr. Phil kid? No, no, no, it wasn't him. It was it was some other dude
I don't know his name, but I think he's like australian or some shit
But he does like a bunch of like pranks with his family members
And like whatever and like just judging by their reactions. You'd be like
Okay, yeah, this is fake man. Yeah, you know what I mean?
And they're all kind of in on it. They all have their own instagram accounts and it's like whatever and dude
I have no problem with that because
I'm just it's confusing to me obviously, but I'm also it baffles my mind
It really like I've lost sleep if it's if it's if it's children I get it though
Yeah, if it's kids like if I watch an episode of fucking blues clues, I'd be like the fuck is this
Yeah, you know, but to children it's stimulating in whatever way without with that. I don't I really don't know how
Well, I don't know what it is. It's just weird when I see adults like tagging each other in to be like, yo
I can't believe you did that. Oh my god. What are we talking about here? Like it's fake man. What are we doing?
Yeah, yeah, I swear to god. I've lost sleep over it. It bothers me so much
I don't know. I hate everyone people make it work people people make it work
There is something to learn from most people though
It is learning about those processes like because it's like even if if someone gets to a certain place
like this kid had like millions of followers like five five six seven million followers and
That's not an accident. So what did he do? Yeah?
You know, because you don't know what happens behind the scenes like start fake peeing on people. Yeah
Fake peeing on people
I saw like a prank of like somebody like fake peed on somebody. Oh, yeah, I kid Lance. Remember he's the fake pee on
Yes, Lance. What's up, buddy? Yeah, he's the fucking uh, he was always nice to me. So, um
Yeah, but he would like fake pee on me. I met him one time. Was he nice?
I I don't think we spoke he was you were just in the same thing because he's from like Jersey, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, like in the beginning of the vine stuff like he was he was he's got a cake. Yeah, he's got he's caked up
Yeah, yeah, but like a lot of his shit is like obviously fake, you know, and I know that if I I feel like if I talk to him
And I was just like all this shit is fake, right?
Yeah, and like that's fine. Then you can look at it like yo, they're just skits, bro. It's a yeah, it's a job
Yeah, you know, it's a skit. Yeah, but I like I feel like people get really angry about that when there's like fake content
He's gonna fucking fake dude. Yeah, and it's like I'm not fuck that kid. I'm like, I'm not fuck that kid
I mean, it's like what's different than fucking tv, you know, yeah, he's pony it off as if it is real
Which is like whatever we do that with fucking Santa Claus dude mean mean you're an uber is telling people we have kids
Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly reason. Yeah
It's not for me, but like I get it. I could not believe that but you're not gonna sit there
And tell me with the cameras off that all this shit is real and I'm gonna get tight
Yeah, don't don't insult my just own it. Don't insult my intelligence. Right. That's the only thing. Yeah, I'll get tight
Don't insult my intelligence. That's the only thing. Yeah
And if you got fake kids, I want to hear about them. Yeah, I want to know how old they are
It's so weird that we both do that. Yeah, that's strange. Do you think there's something wrong with us for doing that?
Yeah, there is right
It's maniacal
It's not maniacal. I think it is
No, you're lying. No, you know, it's maniacal like if you lied about like your grandparents dying so you get out of work
No, no, no, no, no, no. Everybody does that. Um
I've done that like 11 times since I've worked here. Um
Like if you say you were in the army
That's fucked up. That's fucked like that's maniacal took me a while
But I had to think of a shitty so you like get on a plane earlier or just like in your uber like yeah, it's like, you know
Stolen valor. Yeah. Stolen valor. This guy. I love those videos. Yeah, um
But it's like, yeah, like, you know, I had some friends get blown up in the war
It's like, yeah, this dude's driving you to the grocery store. Like what are you doing?
But fake kids. I don't know why it's just because I want kids, I guess
I don't know. Well
I just do it because I enjoy like just making up a story
Making up a story. This is so great. It's just so great improv practice. Nobody's hurt by it
Like if I came in here tomorrow and told you I had two kids you'd be like, uh
What what are you doing? You talking about? Yeah, Danny, what are you talking about?
All right, I think we could wrap this up here
We were all over the place in that one all over the place. You got deep. We got soft. We got hard
We got into an argument over their toothbrushes. I I'm sorry
No, I'm gonna defend myself. Where can I find you buddy? They can find me at daniela puri on twitter
On instagram. Mm-hmm. And also
the stank podcast
Uh, I hope you guys go and check out the comic con video that we did. It's
Hilarov. Joe filmed it. He had a great time. He didn't wear a costume. I know but uh,
You can find us at the stank podcast on instagram and uh, youtube.com slash the stank podcast on the youtube's
Yeah, and you guys can uh, go follow the show at the base me yard on instagram
And uh, go check out santa gato studios the other youtube channel youtube.com slash santa gato studios other people's lives
That's where the uh
Comic con video is and the other podcast on santa gato studios
Podcast network other people's lives with me and greg dieback
And our patrons shout out to all our patrons patreon.com slash the base me yard
We appreciate all you guys support and every month if you'd like to become a patron
You get every episode a week early get some extra content from me and the big guy
That is all. See you guys next time. Okay. Bye