The Basement Yard - #224 - Hey! Don't Touch The Pope

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

On this episode, we discuss who would dominate who, the Pope having to slap woman's hand and playing manhunt in a priest's garden. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I Just had to yell at the floor. That's nothing wrong with that I'm trying to think of different ways to start to show and I get scared so I just You know, I think people will appreciate that one. I'm making efforts. Yeah, you know what I'm saying Damn, you got a big ass ring on your finger right now I do it looks like your middle finger is about to pop off though. No, it's fine. Look comes right off. Oh, wow You just got thick old fan. Just big old thick old fingers. I had sausage for Breakfast this morning and like your middle finger looks delicious right now. Listen. I've thought many times of eating my own hands

No, okay, I'm a little self-conscious about my hands. I wish they were a little bigger. They're meaty. Oh, they're fucking meaty Yeah, they're meaty hands. I could feed a village, but I do that again Yeah, they're yeah, they're meaty. Those are spanky hands. Oh, yeah I could spank the shit out of somebody with these bad boys, but uh, I Realized I realized we both kind of dirty hands right now. Do I have dirty hands? Yeah, you got dirty. Yeah, I got dirty things I got dirty things. That means I got to go get my nails, dude. Yeah, you want to go get manped? Yes You want to go get pedied? Yes. I want to get massaged. I do too. I could use one I haven't gotten a massage in so long man. I haven't gotten one in a very long time. Look at that. Yeah, no phone

No phone Jerome. No phone Jerome. Is that what your new name now? Yep. You go through phases I do go through phases. I don't know if it's like split personality disorder Or I just don't like my have the same nickname for more than a week. Yeah, I don't I don't know what you're talking about Yeah, it's whatever but I need a massage man. I haven't gotten one in so long I also have like a knot in my back. It just feels like someone's been stabbed me with a knife or something Yeah, or there's a little man living behind my shoulder blade and he's digging his way out I want to feel bad for your back, but I can't oh, yeah, you gotta fucked up back We're just fucked up back boys

Fucked up back boys. I did have to go back to the hospital because my back locked up and I got scaled. Yeah so I went there and Had a couple of procedures done one involving my testicles. Oh, yeah forgot that they know They felt around in that thing. He fingered your balls. Yeah, it was a woman. Oh, she fingered your balls. It was a female was she She nice she's nice. She was nice. Did she have some stuff? She had some stuff. She has some stuff She's okay. She's a great lady great doctor, but did she have stuff? She was Stuffed she was a relatively attractive attractive doctor. Yes. He's got stuff Nice. Okay, so you got fingered by someone who's got stuff. Yeah, so um, so

First of all, I didn't you can't like request tests to be done So it's not like I went after her to touch my oh, yeah, you can't go in there I'd be like hey, I need someone to finger me. No doesn't work like that. Actually you could did you get fingered though I made that up, but I'm not no. No. Yeah. Yeah, so not in my butt, but here's the thing that happens, right? So I thought that I possibly would have a Ingueno hernia Ingueno iguana iguana. I thought I had an iguana hernia. Yeah, so They thought it too because the pain is radiating from my lower my lumbar. Wait, where is your iguana?

Your iguanas inside of your test Testicular sack, but like the wall of your sack like you ever like remember when your balls would get lost up your shit one second Yeah, go ahead. Where am I going? All right, just fine. I got a handful of nut, right? I know you do don't shake my head No, no, no, so like find some skin. I got a whole bunch here Right, right, right, but like push your nut sack like push your ball out of the way and push up through your nut sack Through it. Yeah, like oh, I just like through the middle. Just like yeah, like where the hole is okay It's getting tender in here. Yeah, so and then they go deeper than that

Yeah, this kind of just feels like this kind of feels like a vagina. Yeah. Yeah, basically finger your man puss Yeah, I gotta do it. I might have a vagina. Yeah, this feels like a vagina. Yeah, dude. It's kind of cool Got a vagina dude Damn, I got a puss. So it did make me a little more. I actually was a little more. Wait, am I done? Is this where I'm at? Oh, you got a cough Am I looking for something? Some pressing down. Wait, how do I? Be careful. I don't know if you're. Oh my god. I could go pretty far. Yeah, dude And you got to go. I could feel like you know how your penis goes like your penis is still in

So like I hate when I feel my boner and I feel how much more of my penis is inside me inside I'm like, why can't we come out here? I have to play, man. We need all the inches we can get. Let's crank this out Yeah, man. I feel like how hard your shaft really is. It goes under my ass. I had a whole another like three fourths of an inch in there Are you kidding me? More than that. Yeah, I gotta, yeah. There's a fat dick in there. Just waiting to come out I need that dick. Yeah I don't know where he thinks like he could just he's a homebody. Yeah But no, but yeah, that's crazy. So they they went up there and they fingered you so I was a little nervous because she like was attractive and like

Had stuff and had stuff and I was like, okay I guess I'll dump them You dump their balls. Sorry. I ate a lot of parmesan cheese before I got here. Um Which another I want to ask you about that too That's like, okay, dude, it's three o'clock. You had fucking parmesan cheese for breakfast. I left over pasta. Okay. We'll get to that But um, so I get in there. They're looking at my back because it was radiating from I have a herniated disc My l5s one, which is made fun of me before you can go down the slide So it was radiating to my hip but down into my left nut. Yeah

So I was like, ah, my my nuts kind of hurting and uh They send a pa first and then a doctor comes So it was this little little nice asian man. He's like, he's like, what's going on? I was like, listen, I'm having some pain in my left nut and I keep getting back spasms I'll know what's going on. So like, okay. All right. We'll check you out. You know, oh, you had nut pain Yeah, I had not painted my this is before after the finger. This is before the finger Oh, okay. I was gonna say the fingering might have caused some pain. No, no, no, no

It was before the finger. Okay, so I was like, yeah, so they came in um He came in first did the whole check up and then uh, dr. Foxy came in which I thought was a joke Her name is foxy. No, no, no, no. Oh my name for now. Um So she came in and I was immediately intimidated because it was a hot doctor So I was like, all right, you know what? Let me but I was completely honest I was like doc like listen like my nut hurts a lot hot doc. Yeah. Yeah, and they were like, all right Well, what we're gonna do is is we're gonna bring you in here

But we might have to give you an ultrasound on your balls. She didn't say balls, but She said testicles. Um, but she was like, I want to give you a check For a hernia, but we you it requires you to drop your pants Yeah, so I was like drop trial. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now I'm in the room. I'm like, dude, I want to go into this fully soft So you started slapping it around. I didn't slap it around, but you were definitely I just yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was moving my pants a little bit trying to get some friction. Yeah I was trying to get a little friction there. So, um I did that I got to a point where I was comfortable

Uh, then yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got some fluid ounces of blood in there. Yeah, I got something going there Yeah, you know, I because I because you kind of have to pick your piece up And and take it to the side because she only needs balls Yeah, you know, she only needs your sack. Yeah, so somebody was nice for me to have something to pick up and move right instead of just like, you know You know a chopstick in place. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, so I was able to do that. Yeah Um, so she's like, all right, so I'm gonna do it now And she shoved the finger up my balls

And I coughed and I went, uh You coughed like that the first one came out like that Not like not that extreme, but I actually it was because I I went, uh So she was like, all right, and I was like, all right, we're good. She's like, I gotta check the other side now So I got double bald Wait, I didn't even know you had two sides. Yeah, you do I thought there was one hole in there. No, I think because it's like shit runs all the way down Gotcha

So they have to check both like the left and right ventricles both entries of the nut So she did that and uh, I coughed again, but this one I was like, uh Yeah, you let her know. Yeah, I was like, I'm a man Yeah, it was like man. Yeah, and then uh, so that happened And she was like and she didn't wear gloves. Whoa. She raw deed your fucking ball raw deed my nuts Yeah, she's sterilized raw deed my nuts. Restaralized. Yeah, I mean you better sterilize. Yeah, yeah, yeah Especially with me anyone that comes to contact with me has to restaralize not only that but I think also like you would want I don't care how hot doc this was

Uh Sterilized you work in a hospital like and apparently listen if you're gonna go around just raw fingering people That's not a finger. I went on my body. Listen, you know how you know how anti-prope Did she really raw? I couldn't be more honest I feel I feel like that's malpractice. It was skin to nut It was skin to nut. I feel like when you're gonna penetrate someone even though she didn't penetrate she she inverted What I'm picturing this is like is like if you take a water balloon and you just put your hand like this on it

And it doesn't pop. Yeah, you know, but it's you're definitely like basically inside this water balloon. Yeah, that's what she did That to me is a gloved Procedure. Yeah, I guess so she's gonna get fired for this. I hope not Look for the hot doctor with the stuff. Yeah. Yeah, she's raw fingering. Yeah, she's raw fingered me I'm not gonna say the hospital now because I don't want to get her in trouble. Scary or if anyone knows her I don't want to get in trouble either. What are they gonna know from her? Like technique. No, but maybe she's the only hot doctor that works in the in the spot Hotness is relative. That's true. I could go on there. But this is a beast either beholder

Yes, beauty is in the eye of the Yeah, so, uh, I don't know what to Be all yeah, be all yeah Be be holder. Yeah, the bh. She was the be holder and this one. Yeah, she was holding that b. Yes She was holding that bs. Yes Okay, so you get fingered with was your was your no, no, no, I don't have any that You go on a hernia. Okay, good. And um, she was like, hey, listen, so this is what you got to do going forward I was like, listen, I started physical therapy. She was like, it could be a reaction to the physical therapy

That's making you feel a little Tired friend parmesan burp could make you feel a little more tight. I won't blow it on you. Yeah, please um So she just kind of walked me through like what I could do to get better And then she was like, all right, I'll be right back with your papers to get you discharged, right? 25 minutes She stood me up Stood you up stood me up didn't like your balls. They didn't like my balls

Yeah, if my balls were good, she'd be back in a second. She might have light jogged it down the hallway Yeah, there would have been a different type of discharge At that point damn dude, that's a big claim. No, yeah, she she wasn't into me. Um, but uh But yeah, so she checked out my nuts and it was cool like and then they gave me they gave me a muscle relaxer Nice and does that make your ass just kind of open? Oh, that's the thing. You just remind me about ass Um, they asked me a bunch of questions. They were like, do you have numbness? numbness I think I do

I think I do I do you have numbness. Do you have numbness nymph this number seven Shit, I'm gonna strap my leg. So she was like, do you have a numbness in your feet? I was like, no my feet are good. She was like, do you have numbness in your anus? What? Yeah, she asked me if I haven't had a numb asshole Do you know my asshole is fine. They were like, how's your poop been and I was like, it's been great pee I was like, it's great. No pain So they were like, all right, but do you have a numb asshole?

And I was like, no, my butt is fine. Yeah, if anything I could feel more with it. Yeah, I was like my ass is straight Mm-hmm I didn't know people could get raw asses Yeah, because I was afraid she was gonna have to finger my ass too on the first date and I was a little afraid of that Yeah, I mean if your balls aren't doing it for her, your ass is definitely not gonna do it for her No, what she'll come back in three hours after that. She might leave you there for a month. She might quit her job Yeah, she might move at that point. She might move to the Caribbean and scoop ice cream instead of her job One of those frozen plates. Yeah, the guy's just like

Rolling up ice cream instead of you know, but uh, yeah, no, so I got out of there fine. It's just I'm rehabbing now So I'm being forced to exercise you guys win yeah Danny's exercising so so I'm exercising now New year new dan and I'm also I have to when I went to rehab not drug rehab rehabilitation center for bad backs Which is not what it's called. Yeah, why you My back is on drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah

But they gave me a muscle relaxer and I haven't had anything close to being high in a long time Your boy was zootie. Yeah zootied up. Yeah zootied. So I was just like, yeah scud Honestly, I could have played a game of five on five basketball Really? They were that good dudes And maybe drop 20 Like I I didn't have a care in the world when I left there. I think that's why they maybe maybe made me wait A little bit because I was I was a little zootie fruity. Yeah, and I was like, yo, what's going on?

My eyes were so heavy Yeah, that I could fall asleep Like that anywhere standing up anything feel long-blanked. Yeah Damn, so I left I was zooted for like a couple more hours And then uh, I was like, yeah, I want to make a song Like just like a song And when I tell you that while I was making this song

I thought it sounded so good Right, so I was high for like two three hours. Maybe you know what I mean like and like I was a little fucked up So I made this song right and I was like, yo, it's so good. I listened to it the next morning Deleted it immediately. Oh, I wish I could that's how bad it was. I was like, yeah, I can't believe I created this That's how fucking bad it was really parts of it. I didn't even remember like saying and doing But while I was doing it, I was like, yo, this is fire like this is gonna take me to the next level And then when I woke up the next day, I was like, this is one of the worst songs life-changing stuff I was like, this song is one of the worst songs I've ever heard in the history of my life

Dude, that is amazing. Yeah, that reminds me because it was called numb anus. No It's like no Shocking but yesterday Keith was like drunk And he fell asleep on the recliner at my mom's And I was leaving so I was just like saying bye and no one said anything to Keith And but like there was noise happening. So I guess he just woke up and he was like, no, we could fix it And I was like I was like what he goes we could fix it And then my and then my sister was like, what are you what are you saying?

And he's like, no, because you know What's the girl and there's on the tracking and everything Oh, he's definitely dreaming about weighing dude. Yeah about like his job, dude And we were like, what the fuck is this kid talking about and then he went into the basement right for like two minutes comes back up And he goes yo and I turn around he goes, why are you laughing? I'm like, what and he goes you were laughing when you got when you since you got here I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? Was he like sleepwalking apparently? But he was like, why are you laughing? I was like, I'm I'm putting my jacket on. What are you talking about?

Keys Yeah, but he just dude would be keys. It was so funny. He was just like, yeah, we could fix it. Yeah, we could fix it Customer service. Have you ever talked to someone while they're sleeping to try and get them to keep talking? I've done it. I've done it and it works My brother though told me that like my oldest brother thomas when we were younger He said that he walked into our room And I sat up in my chair and went I already recorded that and I yelled with my arms out like this Sleep talking is one of the craziest things ever. Yeah, and it's so weird how it's just never rational things

Yes, it's random shit. It's just like, I don't know. I've been told that I don't have tomatoes Yeah, what are you talking about you weird out? What are you doing? What is going on in your brain? Dad made the onions Yo, but there was a There was a timer people tell me that I laugh in my sleep. The clown has no penis No, people tell me I laugh in my sleep sometimes. See that's terrifying. Yeah, it's creepy. Also I forget which one of my brothers it was. It might have been thomas boning his baby Not like a newborn, but when he was a baby he could talk though

Uh, he used to scream my dad's name Joe Joe What the fuck It's great. That's so creepy. Yeah, I'd throw that baby out if it was me, man Yeah, I gotta possess babies throw it out that baby talk Huh, what'd you say? Was he like a baby that could no no he could talk. Oh, okay That now would be like this is strange. Yeah, that baby's a little scary. Oh like a newborn like saying words Yeah, I would beat the newborn to death

I hate when people have kids and they're mad progressed already and for some reason I feel like they're smarter than me already Yeah, it's like, I know what's going on. He's like, hey, how are you? I'm like, what's going on here? Yeah Smart baby or it's like I forgot one of my cousin's kids is like I'm like, how old is he now? No, he's two. What the fuck? He just Are you kidding me? Yeah, he just fucking balanced my checkbook. What's wrong? Yeah, why is it? Why is he being so passive aggressive to me? How does he know that? Yes, sure you went there. Okay

I'm like this kid's sarcastic at two. Yeah, like this kid's an asshole. This kid sucks. This kid sucks I hate very well-developed children. I don't like when kids are smart. They should be dumb because that's what I was taught. Yeah, I was taught to be dumb and I was told over and over and over that I was so Yeah, so I was under the assumption that I was dumb. Everyone was dumb But also one of my cousins has a kid that when he was young He would know about like trades in the NFL and I'd be like Dude

Get the fuck stop this. All right. Yeah, I don't like kids that know more than me I don't want you to have the same amount of conversation as I do But it's the same thing with like well, it's not the same thing But like another thing that just blows my mind too is how like idiot savants, right? Like they can't put like a triangle in a triangular hole Triangular uh triangular. Yeah, but they could play like Mozart with their eyes closed. Yeah, what's going on there? Yeah, because stuff confuses me about like how does that work?

How can you be so magnificent at something else? And then like the easiest things for you are tough. Wait, does it's making me sound a lot like myself? What do you mean? Because I think I'm just like magnificent at being funny But I can barely put on my own pants I think that's just like a weight thing. Yeah, probably probably. Yeah. Yeah, but that's like you see me try to put on socks That's like there's there's a couple things that are like Wild to me. That's just such an anomaly to me. What? Well, like in some kids who have autism have like one Significant skill like they they have like they're autistic and they're they have it pretty bad and maybe they can't

Like talk even yeah, but they could play a piano like and like sing. Yeah, like you would not believe and it's like like What's going on? Yeah, and and not to say that this is the same But it's just equally as confusing as like you can see someone who has autism and be like, okay You could see that they they have like a disability like severe autism like not a spectrum. Yeah, no like they have it very bad, but um But then it just like fades away when they're doing a certain thing You know and it's like now they just look like an expert and then but then as soon as they stop they go back into It's just wild because it used to be on 60 minutes and they used to make them look all fucking stupid all the time on 60 minutes

They'd be like he can't count to five. Yeah, and then I'm just like but watch this He's like skinner, man. I'm in a minute. I'm in a minute. I'm like, all right We could have left the other footage out. Yeah, you didn't have to play this. Yeah, you could I would have believed you Yeah, if you show me that he was trying to jam a circle into a triangular hole. I'd be like I get it No, but they would do that they would exploit them kind of But I guess they're a part of them. It's the journalism. They're trying to show us that But yeah, I wanted to see the kid play the piano. I I believe that he's got some stuff Yeah, he's got stuff, you know, but also, uh, you know what else confuses me like

I'm always so confused by this people who have an accent. They're like from the uk or some shit But when they sing American yeah What's that? What is that? How in first of all you have a different sounding language And then when you hear people sing like over there like little bar jolly songs, they all have English accents What is happening Like one direction They sound like how they sound. Yeah, you know, and then they sing, you know, you don't know you're beautiful

What the fuck the song is, you know, yes, no, what it is you don't what is it? You know that you're beautiful. No, that's not it You don't know you're beautiful You don't know you're beautiful how dare I forget that because that is a phenomenal song Yeah, that's my shit. Um But then they just sound american that's crazy to me It makes no sense. I I really don't it bothers me. It feels like they're stealing They're appropriating american culture. Yeah, fuck How do you have an accent that fades when you sing that makes no sense to me? I don't like it

I think it's fake. It's kind of like you want to talk about you want to talk about stuff Iggy is alia super australian Okay, white is snow. Yeah, wider than snow. Yeah, she's a very light-skinned woman. Yeah, and then She's a rapper and her voice is like baby. I do this. I baby. I do this Iggy is Big old butt though big old cakes owner. Oh man. Yeah fatted things natural things. I think I think she's got the natural fat and natural natty cheese. Natty fat fat. That's natty cheese, right? Natty cheese back there. You know, I'm saying you got that nat fat, baby

Yeah, and like I don't know any Iggy songs the ones she's had on the radio are pretty good But I'm just confused. I'm just confused about like in general the how your voice just changes You know what I'm saying like I don't just if I start reading poetry. I don't just like turn Indian or some shit, you know I'm saying like my accent doesn't just change Oh, okay. I thought you said like I didn't know Indians were very prominent poet No, I'm just saying like a different accent. You know what I'm saying like it doesn't just switch Like if you wrap you wouldn't be like blocks from the claps came back to the flats blasting Yeah

Gonna head shot you you know, it's interesting to get shot you're to the doctor black black Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yes It's it's mental, bro. Chashi get He Chashi get clap rough. Yeah So You know, it's interesting. It does it doesn't happen for rap, but it only happens for singing. Yeah I mean drake drake does it all the time. I mean drake has 19 different voices that he does

Yeah, I think he's just playing games over there Ovio Ting He doesn't interview and he's like, you know, I really just think that it's like, you know, I don't really understand You know, I'm not really, you know, I'm not gonna listen to Pitcher T's music and then he goes on hot 97 He's like it's a bad thing. You know, I'm saying it's a Toronto man We did this right here. I want my chips with the dip. I want my chips with the dip. You know, I'm saying we created all this We created all this we created all this. Look at this. It's a college town of your sound ovio sound ovio xo double appeasey

I made afro beats. That's my team, you know, you know, nobody was nobody was listening to afro beats So I just I just did afro beats. Yeah, he's got that accent. Yeah. No doubt like, you know what I'm saying He's like, you know, I love how like why do people from Canada do that? Did you watch that whole rap radar thing? I got like, uh 40 minutes and then you couldn't you couldn't stand it anymore. No, I just fell asleep and not because it was bad Like I would like to listen. No, I I was tired as fuck. I mean that dude's on another level Like he's he's just like He's I like I like drake. I'm not a crazy drake like fan. Oh, yeah, I like drake way more than you do Yeah, I'd like drake. I don't dislike drake. I like his music. I'm not a super fan

Like I am with other people but but I like drake like I'm interested in his interviews Yeah, for sure like because one he doesn't do a lot But the accent thing is just so weird to me. Yeah, it's just like yeah, and then you know You know, they talk about my kid or whatever like like he like rolls his eyes a lot Yeah, I'm like, dude, you're like a 13 year old kid. Yeah, he's like, yeah, you know, uh push He you know talked about my child and I don't really know how I feel But then when he's like he's doing a different interview man got six squad man got peasies I'm just like, yeah, what are you talking about? Yo

Yeah, that the boy fucked up, you know, have you heard he said crazy ting, you know, have you heard war the song war yet? I don't know. No, no the new one. I haven't I don't understand one thing. He's saying why is it like doing dinner with peasies Double the fenzos can be back in those. I'm like, yo, what are you talking about, dude? I'm like, yo, I want to understand what you're backing up in those. I'm like, yo I'm like, yo, what are you talking about man? When PC like I understand what he's talking about, but it's like, yo like and then yeah, I listened to that and then I went to uh Immediately like old drake and I was like damn, dude. I miss

I missed that rap I missed that shit. I mean, it's interesting like I think he he tries to show this range He tries to show his range or whatever, but it's just like weird to see that like I get it on I'll like if you're making music, right and you want to make different sound of shit I get that right but like when you do interviews and you sound a certain way and then you do a different one You sound completely different. I'm like the fuck. Yeah, because there's a party. It's like, yo, they literally head shot at this guy Yeah, and I'm just like he's like and then he man's got head shots and I'm like He's like he they done him. Yeah

A head shot at him and I'm like, yo, what's going on here? What's up with you? Yeah, scaring me a little bit and like I get it. You know what I'm saying because of course because people's people's accents change Based on situations, but his is just super obvious. Yeah, you know, he's like people in the street like the real people know Yeah, I'm like, all right, bro. I was like, yo, I was talking to somebody about this too I was like, yo, he is so obsessed with people knowing that like he could get like have you murdered Really? You know, I'm saying like it's just like his whole thing is like some boys to the crib get clappy

I'm like, dude. All right. We get it. Like you can have somebody killed probably if you wanted to But his thing is like he has to hammer it home that like, yo, real jeez. Fuck with me I don't know. I'm like, all right I don't know. I like Drake though. I do. I like Drake a lot Yeah, I like Drake. I think I like Drake more than the average man. I like I like Drake more as like a a dude than an artist Like I like that. Yeah, no, his swag is cool. Yeah, like I think like I think he's like he could dress a little better But he's cool. I think he's a nice dude. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know

But like I think he's a nice dude But I I will say that the combination of all these accents and then when you throw in some of the canadian one That's just the canadian accent is just really funny to me. We did this. We did this. No, but like sorry But it's it's no, but it's not that accent. He does say sorry though. No, he does but not that accent but the one where Uh, the voice just goes up like at the end of you know, yeah, like That's right. You know, we were going to the crib, you know, and I'm like, why? Yo, you second The fuck is this? It's a bad team. It's a bad team. He's like, what the fuck? I'm like, all right

But I mean good for him. We made this young. You know what I'm saying? Yo, that dude's rolled decks of pussy is probably outrageous of people who you don't know exist too That's what I'm saying. Fuck. Where is she from? Yeah, it's like nowhere No, yeah, she's belongs. He probably has like eight sums. I've had a I have a theory. Okay. Yeah that eventually Uh If if you have enough sex You become gay Elaborate

So here's my theory, right I'm serious. I'm I'm like, I'm not I'm it's funny dude. I've never been more Ready to listen to something in my life. Here we go. So here's what I'm saying, right? So regular people, right? Yes. Just have sex with people. We're too straight guys. We have sex, right? Sex is great. Sex is good Sex is healthy, but you have you have sex with people, right? And Maybe as a regular person you have a three-some and then maybe you find a relationship where Someone's into swinging that's fine, too And then maybe you do an orgy or whatever, but that's it, right? And it and like it'll top out. It may be swapping

Yeah, or like whatever, right? But now we're talking about like rock stars, right? So rock stars back in the day they'd go on the road. They would fuck whoever they wanted It didn't matter who it was like whatever anyone in the crowd Was gonna get slayed and hurt, you know what I'm saying? So They do they do that Probably eventually you get to the point where like I'm not just gonna have sex with one person at a time So you start doing Three-sums for a long time and and this is not just information that I'm making up

Like you I've heard interviews of people saying like I've had sex with maybe 10 000 people and like most of it is three-sums You know, so they have three-sums and stuff four-sums. There's stories of drake having eight fucking girls, which I don't even You know What kind of dick sack guy working with you have have sex with eight people What a workout the stamina alone. Yeah, I don't have the lungs for eight people. So I could do it So anyway, so you do that stuff and then Right, you get to the point where it's like, okay. I'm just gonna have sex with eight people But then you're like, yo, you know what I'm gonna do that would be cool

I'm gonna have sex in the same room as one of my friends Right, so now your boy. Do you think that's gay? No, I don't I don't think it's gay. I don't think I don't think it's gay No, but I think it's a gateway. I'ma get to that gateway gay is a gateway gay. Yeah Gateway, you know what I'm saying? So so straight dudes in the same room having sex with with girls totally fine Whatever are we looking at each other like yeah, get it son. Uh, maybe it depends how uncomfortable you get with your friend That's gay fire I mean, it's definitely like there's embers and it's about to be a fire. You know what I'm saying people are getting People are getting warm. So you eventually you start doing that and this is all over the course of like, uh,

You know a tour or something right you're torn for months at a time And every night you have a show and every night you are throwing your d around so You do that right and then now you're you're in a hotel room and eventually it just becomes nudity is not Weird right you've seen your friends dicks whatever you've seen your friend like and then when you're super famous There's just moments where you're just sitting in a room and you're just sitting there and this guy's getting his dick sucked And you're having a business meeting like it's just like random shit like that happens, right? And then eventually

You know, like I said, you have sex with your friends in the room Then there's some swapping action going on and then When that doesn't become enough because now at this point you're starting to flirt with the idea that like am I a sex addict? Because I need this right and now I'm not getting this feeling that I once had before Oh, yeah, and then you start feeling like you know what? Yeah, I'm gonna start and then you start doing the whole dp thing. We're like, you know Balls are touching each other eventually You know I'm saying they they bang it because you throw when you if you throw d around

Bees hit each other. Yeah, for sure. You know what I mean? Because they bounce Um, and then it's like and then you know, maybe there's some there's some you know, there's some some of this going on Right, and it's like whatever, you know, it's not a big deal. It's my buddy I'm gonna fuck and then like sometimes people get close with their boys. They kiss them on the mouth of something It's like whatever, you know And then eventually what I'm getting to and maybe I'm skipping a couple steps here But then the guy starts to feel like I'm not feeling The dominance power or whatever of sex anymore because I can it's just not a thing that I have to chase anymore

And I need something else to chase and they graduate to a new world of men And they start to feel like you know Now you can get this dominant Feeling again. I'm gonna dominate you now because think about it. I'm gonna dominate my friends How much of sex is like the chase or how much of sex is like the um the animalistic

The dominating aspect oh for me. No, I'm just saying in general You know I'm saying like how much of it is that and then when that's completely gone because The idea of like being super famous and being like, oh, you see a person on instagram You could literally message them and they'll be on a plane. Yeah, that's a real thing So when you have that power it loses its mystique of being sex and it just becomes like Fucking coffee in the morning Uh And then

Before you know it You're in a glory hole right and there's a man on the other side and you might know him Yeah, like I always say and even the opposite even the opposite so like elton john You don't think he's slayed women over the years. Yeah for sure Just for just for no reason for fucking gay sport because it's like I can get all these Dudes and I could be with whoever I want. Yeah, but I'm just gonna But then sex becomes just like a thing of It doesn't become what it is to normal people anymore, but I think sex in different people

Is uh, it's more it the animalistic ranges Like yeah, you know, there's a there's a spectrum. There's a a sextrum a sextrum a sextrum. You know what I'm saying Yeah, um, I consider myself to be a uh an absolute monster. Okay, but There's probably some other people that are just like They're really not in the sex That's okay Now I think some people start like that like entertainers like shy people But like I'm I'm agreeing with you is what I'm saying is they get introduced to all this stuff and then they become like

Just a sex freak right and it's like maybe because they didn't have a lot of sex before they were famous And now it's like it's so easy and now they're like putting anal beads up their friends assholes right when you get introduced to new things it's just like anything else too because think about like the um Like someone who gets to heroin I would think more times than not

It started as a beer when you were younger and then it's like oh, let's do this cigarette or and then let's like all right I'm gonna start smoking weed and it's like y'all just try this pill and then blah blah blah And then eventually like you keep chasing this new thing or like there's just they're all gateways chasing the dragon I am comparing The dude it's hilarious But I really do feel like that because you hear stories all the time But these very famous people and it's like oh, yeah, they had sex with dudes and like yeah I'm sure they're they're they're bisexual, but I also think that at some point

Like I think to some people like it's not about this this Title of oh i'm bisexual or i'm straight or i'm gay or whatever It just becomes like sex is just this thing and like people put these like Laws on it and whatever, but I think when you're where you're when you're opened up to so much of it then maybe It all that just gets blurred and it doesn't feel weird and it doesn't feel like whatever like ego and pride is out the door And it's kind of like we're just here trying to have fun, but i'm trying to think of it on

Because that happens with like non famous people too though Yeah, like some dudes well some people just have that some dudes just have that's like that sexual Ambiguity and ambiguity and ambiguousness Ambiguity and ambiguity. Yeah, and ambiguity ambiguity. Fuck That they just like they just want to see you know, they'll fuck anything They'll fuck a dude. They'll fuck a uh a woman. They'll probably fuck something else I'm saying there's just people out there that are just boring sick freak I think I I think I evolved in the one

I think you're a sick freak. I think there's a lot of stuff out there But think about that right because the first time you have sex. It's not like you just you crack out a whip Or like you start like yo, i'm trying to fist someone tonight. No, no, no You just have regular sex and it's like, okay, this is great But then you hear about something else. You're like, oh, that sounds interesting. So i'm gonna try that Or i'm gonna try some toys. I'm gonna try this and then let's get another person in here Like let's switch partners and then and some people are just born with that idea Yeah, or that view of sex, which is totally fine like what you're fuck on

I don't think there's any like a definition to it But like I but then I but I also feel like when you are just complete when it becomes something that is So easy to attain It loses it's it's The laws go out the window or like the rules go out the window You don't want to just bang regular puss anymore. You want to fucking bang fucking rock star asshole You know what i'm saying I get it or just like that's a transfer of energies. It's like a power thing

Yeah, and then like eventually you like want to get like, you know, and then and then some people Just jump over that wall and they're like, yo, i'm just gonna i'm i'm not gay. I feel like once you're a guy I feel like once you're over there, you're there though Uh, it depends I think and I don't think this is like crazy. I think that a dude could eventually you know Yeah, yeah, like I I think that uh A dude Could experiment right or even a girl could experiment

But then be like, oh, that's not for me. No I understand that. Yeah, but I think it's a little different for the ladies and here's why i'm gonna pull out an example, right? Yeah, okay. I come over here one day Okay, and i'm like, hey, what's up? You're like, what's good to be like? Yo, man. Just had like a long night. I was at the bar You know, I was obviously I don't drink Yeah, but like I just was like vibing with this guy like he was cool And like I went home with him and like he sucked my dick In your head

Yeah, you're gonna give me a pass Like a pass is like I'm gonna I'm gonna go. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, he's just experimenting Well, really with the pent that's what I'm saying. It depends but I'm saying like you know some people that are so like, uh Like I have a friend That if he told me that story, I I wouldn't even bat an eye. I'd be like, yeah, like Yeah, I could see this coming. Yeah, I want to hear this friend as soon as the show Yeah, I'll tell you. Yeah, but I have a friend that if that happened I wouldn't bat an eye because I'd be like, okay

This person has a different view on sex than like because for the most part people are like if you're straight Just what you do if you if you all touch a guy's ass or gay, you know, like some people are like that. Um But uh Some people are just like, oh no, dude. It's just like whatever but like I I don't know A part of you would be like, all right A part of me would be like you give me a maybe he's gay. Yeah Of course you have to ask me to have a conversation. I'd be like, that's that's all I'm saying. Yeah It's like, yo, I I don't want to see this instagram. Who's this guy?

Yeah, I just like completely just stumbled upon getting my dick sucked by a dude. This is crazy You know That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I think about it like that though What am I thinking but if a girl came up to you a friend of yours? Yeah, and was like, yo, what's up? Like I got a pop in with this girl You're not gonna be like Yeah, I am would I would have the same reaction I have the same reaction because I'd be like, I think you might drift into bibe before you go straight gay

Well, I would I would not go gay for you. Oh, oh, I would go gay for you. No, I That's what I'm saying. I'm saying if you told me that today. Yeah, I wouldn't go all this kid's gay You just think about it. No, I wouldn't not one part of you would think I was gay. No I would say like then I would be at my first thought I wouldn't ever go. How many how many gay blogeys Do I have to get before I'm gay in your eyes? Oh consistent. You would have to throw girls out the window Like if it was just dudes for like months, then I'd be like, oh, okay Yeah, but what if I tried dudes for months and then you were and then I just switched back Then I'd be like this kid's bi

Off the bat, I'd say this kid's bi because all the people I know that like all the people like But like, you know, you're in a uh a straight relationship for But it is very strange though How we're any like person you've ever told me about was a was a woman. So now whatever I'd be like, oh, well He's bi. Yeah, but I mean remember just even as kids though if like two girls kissed it was hot Not one part of you thought oh, this is gay No, but I'm also a but if you I know I know but if you saw two guys kissing

I'd be like that's good. That's a little gay. Yeah, but I also thought a lot of things when I was younger, right I thought Rosa Parks invented the Rosetta stone for god's sake. That's true. I also thought that I also I also was afraid of Uh crossing guards when I was a kid. So It's not the opinion that you want to ask. I would dom the shit out of you. Okay Jesus No, you want Fuck you. I really think if you got a better dick than me, not that I have better dick than you I just think that you're more sensitive than me and I would wrestle you

Oh my god What's that? Oh man I'm never gonna live that down Oh Man that was funny Let's get some sponsors. Uh, I think it's the first double walk-off ever. Yeah That was hilarious. Yeah, that was bomb the 11th inning there solo home run

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With quip. Okay, and lastly, uh, I actually want to tell you about a new podcast From the LA Times called chasing Cosby Um, as you all know bill Cosby was convicted of sexual sexual assault in 2018 and this podcast So go into details about the entire story the entire case all through the interviews of the actual lawyers prosecutors and the victims But I think this podcast is going to be super interesting Uh, because it would literally take you like step by step through You know the whole thing with the people that kind of experienced it

And I'm sure there's a lot at least for me. There's a lot that I don't know about About the whole case or anything So it just would be really interesting to kind of be along for the ride But if you guys would like to check it out, you can just you can subscribe to chasing Cosby on apple podcast spotify Or wherever you listen to podcasts. Okay, that's uh, c-h-a-s-i-n-g Uh, c-o-s-b-y so definitely go check that out. Also, um, the woman Uh, it's it's hosted by a woman, uh, Nicole Uh, Weissini Egan. I hope I'm pronouncing that right, but it should be a really good, uh show to check out

So go check the go check out that podcast seems cool. Um, but yeah, let's get back to the show Oh, man Oh, man gay dudes are gonna love that. Yeah, man This is good. This is good. My dms are gonna be flooded with dudes. I got gaily competitive I'm more competitive than anything. So I was like, I'm not gonna let this kid. No, don't me. No Can't have it can't have it Man, that was funny. I can't have to get so many dms. I knew it. I knew you guys knew it. I knew you were in love No, but

To wrap that whole part up. I do agree that the more you are exposed to gross stuff It's maybe it's not it doesn't end with you being like getting gay. It's it ends with like stick to those gay guns No, no, no, I'm saying like that was a funny way to word it But like I think that when you have enough sex Yeah And like you just have it like complete access to it Then all the rules and all the whatever and like, you know how people say like like sexuality is a spectrum Um, like I did like five minutes ago. Yeah, it's not like you're all the way gay. You're all the way straight

Like there's a spectrum like I think that uh Uh, all of that You get more on understanding of that and it all gets like blurred eventually. Maybe. Yeah, not for everyone, obviously, but like You know Get gross let's get some sponsors. Yeah Oh, oh my god, wait, are we really doing sponsors? No, I'm not gonna do them. No, I'm gonna we're gonna Oh, we'll do them after yeah, because I have to wait for that fourth one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. We're 44 minutes in Yeah, so uh, I had some parmesan cheese

Earlier today, yeah, you said you had it for breakfast. No, I had it for like lunch. I didn't get here till one So I had a little leftover pastiche Um It's a nice gravy It's a nicer than the gravy Tell your fucking pasta. All right, so I wait. Why are you talking about parmesan? First of all, it's disgusting that you're burping up cheese. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah Um, but I know people who say parmesan cheese sucks

So I wanted to just get your they don't like parm a cheat. They hate parmesan cheese like The shaky the shaky parmesan cheese. Yeah, like they'll eat a chicken parm But they won't Sprinkle the parmesan snow on there. Ew. Yeah, a lot of people don't like it. It's great on salads. It's great on fucking A pasta Do you ever put it on pizza? Yeah, I've done it on pizza mad times. Yeah, I'll go get a pizza right now. I can't But

I'm team parmesan. I'm all about that. Yeah parmesan cheese as far as only top five cheeses. It really bothers me. What's your top five cheese? Uh Jack's up there pepper jack Sharp cheddar has to be from vermont Smoked gouda. Whoa, what cheddar has to be from. Yeah, I like vermont cheddar cheese the most Okay, I like chart cheddar. Don't cut me off because now you messed up my cheese. I'm sorry smoked gouda Fantastic brie cheese You like brie? I don't know if I don't nice crumbled brie. I don't know brie. You know brie. It's blue

It's blue. Yeah, it's not like blue cheese. Which is white. No, no, no, not blue. It's the actual blue color Yeah, yeah, I've never had it. It's it's blue ish. It looks like a like a side of a mountain You've had brie cheese. I don't know if I have and the other thing is obviously mozzarella cheese But goat cheese goat cheese is close goat cheese is good. I like goat cheese. I like goat cheese 5b Okay, I'll I'll go not in order jack cheddar. I'm a salera Um, a mozzarella mozzarella Galamad galamadi Stuff managut gaba good

Where was I like mods? I only said mozzarella because I didn't want to get judged for the real way I say mozzarella Yeah, I I don't say that. You don't say mozzarella. I say mozzarella I know that people say that and I know like I feel like I said that on this show I'll tell you what I'm mad about it. You know like, uh, Manicotti Managut managut. I just feel weird ordering it and saying like, uh, yeah, can I get the uh, managut You'll say manacotti. No, I won't I'll you gotta say you have to say managut. I feel good

I feel weird ordering it. I feel weird ordering it in a real italian restaurant when the guy's italian because like clearly like I don't I don't say I don't talk. I don't say any other words like that But I'm gonna say yeah, can I just get the managut? It just feels weird. No, it's like you're a phony. No, but you say I'll have that with the managut and then that's it Yeah, or I won't how do you say how do you say calamari calamar? Do you order it like that? Yeah. Yeah, I don't do that I say calamari Because I don't want to be looked at as a phony. You're not a phony. You're italian. What are you talking about?

I know, but I don't want to I don't say that though. You're italian american, but I won't be like, yeah, can I get the calamar? Yeah, but that's that's a lot of that's like Do you call it red sauce you call it gravy I don't call it either. I call it gravy Like with the ragu gravy. Yeah, I think that's stupid though. I honestly think that's dumb Yeah, but that's just how like it's just it's just how we grew up. Yeah But it's I doesn't make any sense to me that it's gravy gravy is brown It's not gravy. It's gravy

Italian's a dumb Yeah, not gravy you ever just get a nice piece of fucking nuts and then you get a plate, right? You put a little olive oil in that plate Right, then you put some salt and some pepper on that olive oil and you just dip that fucking mozzarella in there And crush it. Have you ever done that? Yeah And like bread. Oh I can sit at a table that has good bread if I went to a restaurant and the bread was fire and the food was okay

I'm going back to that restaurant. Yeah, the bread is so important. Just keep bringing bread If the bread is like hard and fucking cold Cold start. I hate this place. I also hate when they don't have the utensils to match the butter Yeah, you got hard butter. I need warm butter dude. I need warm, but I need to be able to spread this I've been that guy though who's asked people to warm butter up for me. Yeah. Yeah, I've done that Yeah, you wouldn't do that No I would literally just put like a block of fucking butter on there and eat it

Butter's good, man. It's great. Butter's awesome. You know, I hate unsalted butter though Fuck these people. Disgusting. Who was doing this? A lot of people. I know Butter's supposed to be salted. Remember country crock and it's gotta have it's gotta have like it on top like the sea salt And like some of that green shit, whatever that is. The calamari. It's like even saying calamari It just sounds so weird. I say kala. You say calamari calamari. I just say calamari But calamari, I don't say calamari. Can I have the fried calamari? Yeah, what am I gonna?

I'm not gonna do that. Let me get the mani gut with the ragout and the calamari and the mutsarel Oh, get it now. Maria. What do you need? Like am I gonna do that? So I'll just I'll just say Do you say burrata? I say burrata. You say burrata. I say burrata Dude, I've never heard you talk like this ever like I yeah, but you didn't have any time You don't really see me say like that when we go to carbone. I'll say it But I just feel like even hearing you say it to me would be like That's why a lot of people are like turned off by it because you don't because you don't talk like that

No, but that's just what the food is But it's not That's what the food is but not to you That's how my parents say it. So that's how I say it If I grew up, my parents are just like octopus legs. That's what I would call it You know what I'm saying? I grew up, you know, I grew up with a fucking guinzo dad Like I thought I'm gonna have it's so weird, you know It's kind of like when you're watching the news, right?

And the guy's saying his name and then he gets to his last name and it just says it mad spanish Yeah, he's like Hector Back to you guys. Yeah, and I'm like that was so out of place there. You know and like I get it I I get it's a cultural thing. I know but it just feels I don't know why but I get it because It makes me feel weird because when I hear fucking giada di Lorena say it. I lose my fucking mind Yeah, I'm like bitch shut up. Can I get that? I'm just like a good nice bruschetta. Yeah, I'm like, all right. Cool. You've been that italy bunch So I just like yeah, I just feel weird. Yeah, you know doing that, but I feel like

Also It's see it's it's double-edged sword. It is I feel I feel weird I feel weird like an italian restaurant like obviously they would know what I mean if I was like, let me get the mini Right, if I said that but if I said in a different restaurant where they just happen to have that this guy is Fucking american as shit and like he's irish or something. Yeah, let me get the mini Like I look I look weird to that guy if I say in italian restaurant No one's gonna bad night, but I feel like a phony because I'm like, ah, but then if I also if I'm like can I get the calamari? This guy's gonna be like the fuck. That's not what it's called. Like I that's you know, whatever

He's like, oh, this is fucking american piece of shit. You know, yeah, I'm overthinking it You are you are but there's no right answer for me growing up. What did your parents say? My mom said one thing and my dad said another my dad said although. Oh calamar fucking. He said all that. Yeah, mood See my mom's Puerto Rican, but she said all that stuff She also calls chicken parms chicken poms Poms poms meatball poms Was she from boston? Yeah, I was like, well, who are you? Yeah, goodwill hunting. How many accents does she have? She's drake. Yeah, I was your genius janitor. What are you talking about?

Chicken fucking bomb. She's like, can you get me a meatball palm? I was like mom. It's a palm. It's palm palm harm She's a porn porn. You said porn say stairs stairs Stairs I can't say stairs. I'd say like stairs You just said it. No, but like stairs Go up stairs What do you say? I try it's like stairs. It's like it's stairs stairs

I don't know the r feels we're coming out of my mouth sometimes, but like You don't say, you know, when you when we joke around to the accent you go go upstairs. No, I don't say like that Yeah, obviously, but you say you say stairs. Yeah, but you don't go stairs. Yeah. Yeah, like the r doesn't come out as much Just like how I say Like ask I don't say ask. I say ask ask Like when I'm telling a story I could say, um Is that what you want me to ask? But I can't say in the middle of a sentence like he asked me to go do that

I'll say axe It's like also like too though if you're like fired up you'll say like you'll say get out of here Because it's part of a whole sentence. Get out of get the fuck out of here Like you'll do it because it's part of a sentence, but it's like yeah, I'm not from here I'm not from me. See you didn't say here. I know I'm not from here We don't say here language is so weird. Isn't it weird? Are we drunk? I don't know. Hi. I'm not from here We've just been sober for so long. I haven't been here. I've not been here. Isn't that weird? Whoa, who fucks over here? Here

Come over here. I hate when people turn up. That'd be so weird to say. Hey, can you come here? Hey, can you come here for a second? I'll say mirror. Come here Come here Come here. I'd be like, fuck am I your cat? Come here. Yeah. Come here is for a pet. Yeah. Come here 100% for a pet Hey, come here But if you said hey come here, I'd be like, I'm not your fucking dog. Yeah Fuck you. Yeah, you know

Stand up for yourself Yeah Oh That last one was poopy Yeah, I could have been um speaking of talent. Did you see the pope? Pope's Italian No, I don't think he is. Wait, but uh, he lives in Italy. He lives in Italy. He's Italian. He says golemod. Yeah, he says golemod Did I see the pope? Is it stupid that I had to

But I did not see the pope. We've never seen the pope. So the pope was doing like which pope are we on? Like what's his name benedict or like is this the pope benedict? I thought he was gone I don't know man. Pope uh pope uh Arnold Pope john paul got shot remember that did he yeah, then they put him in the pope mobile Oh, yeah, I've seen the pope mobile. This is fire. I sure as dope He's like I gotta be Yeah But uh, he was shaking some hands

He was shaking hands as he does that's what he does he prays and he shakes hands. Yeah, so he was shaking hands um and some woman As he was getting down the line. He was like, all right shook enough of these peasants hands I'm gonna go walk up in the church Get a poppin for the night. It's new years. So he goes to this was yesterday. Yeah, so he goes to turn away And this little asian woman in the front. I'm just painting a picture. It has nothing to do with her being asian grabs the pope's hand

Whoa and pulls the pope towards her. Whoa. Yeah, she yanked the pope Okay, no yanking the pope. Yeah, you can't yank pope. You know yank of the pope. Yeah, there's like two rules in life You don't the yank of the pope three rules. Don't murder. Don't rape. Don't yank that pope don't yank of the pope So she yanked it the pope. Yeah and the pope Got tight. I mean he was yanked And he slapped her hand the pope slapped the pope was slapping at the hand. Oh that woman's going to help Yes, the high the closest man to god on the earth

Slap your hand away from his special spirit hand. Yeah his old holy hands. They don't touch me Don't you fucking touch me bitch with your asian in the hands She's going to asian hell. Yeah, which is probably not that bad. It's probably nice. Um, but Damn, that's crazy. If the pope slaps me. You're not coming back from that, dude Imagine and it was on tv and the pope you see he gets like visibly upset Because she yanks the shit out of this little man. Yeah, you can't yank the pope. I'm on teen pope I'm on teen pope too. I'd smack her that that the hand up to myself But he doesn't have like holy security or something. They were there, but like they realized like yo, she's not a crazy threat

Someone yanks the pope. You can't make that call. You got to put it down. Yeah, apparently he apologized He apologized. It said it was yanked. Yeah, but it said it showed like bad temperament I was yanked. I'm the pope. Yeah, I can't just be getting yanked. That's true Now people are gonna think you can yank and you can't yank can't yank a pope can't yank a pope can't These are easy rules people that might have been a commandment and it might we might have to add to the 10 and make it 11 Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Thou shall not yank that pope. Yes I thought you were gonna rattle off all 10. No, I don't know anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thou shall not, you know

There's stupid. I don't think I can I don't think I could name the 10 command I could name the 10 crack commandments I can name those as well better better than I can name the actual 10 commandments now shall not kill Thou shall value thy neighbor is that one? The fuck I know it's like it's like don't it's like don't rat on your neighbor treat others the way that you want to be Treaters like don't snitch. Hold on. I think don't snitch is a commandment, bro Don't snitch. Yeah. Oh, here we go. I got the 10 commandments right here I

Am the lord thy god thou shalt not have any strain got strange gods before me So like no strange dudes. Okay. No strange gods. You know, no no other gods except me I'm your one god subtle shot at the gaze, but that's fine. Yeah, it's kind of fucked up Um, thou shalt not take the name of lord thy god in vain Jesus christ. All right. What's next one? Yeah, Jesus I got all these rules. Yeah How about the balls on this guy? Yeah, dude. You know, I was like, yo, I'm your only god. No other gods Also, don't disrespect my name. You know

Don't speak ill of me cuz god was a thug Remember to keep holy remember to keep holy the Sabbath day So just get down on sundays Yeah, whatever that was um honor thy father and mother. I'm cool with that. You know, I love my mom and my dad Yeah, they're cool. He started to cool off. He started off hot was like, yo, don't disrespect me But now he's like, yo, just be nice to your parents. All right. I'm back on god side Thou shalt not kill. That's an easy one back on god side again. I'm god. I'm team god right now Thou shalt not commit adultery. Yo, you stop fucking people's wives and shit

Uh, thou shalt not steal. I mean, I've stolen but you know, we're all about forgiveness on this side. Yes Yeah, for sure. I'm still riding with god though. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what else? Thou shalt not bear fault witness against thy neighbor. Yeah, don't snitch. No snitching Is this big is this the god literally said don't snitch don't snitch bitch God don't disrespect me. I can't believe I've ever I'm I can't believe I've ever crossed god Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife Now what's a neighbor? That's true. Is it the same town is what if my neighbors aren't married?

What about the lady of like, you know, five doors down? She fair game not really technically my neighbor. We just live in the same building. We just on we own the block Yeah, you know, I'm saying or what about the law? What about someone's wife in like, Iowa? That's not that's not a neighbor's wife. Not neighborly at all. No, I don't know that man's wife from a hole in the wall But you know after a couple of uh, jameson shots. Yeah, daiquiris daiquiris daiquiris and then that's a wab genius Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods Don't steal again. Yeah. Why are you reminding us, bro?

The 10th commandment forbids the wanting to or taking someone else's property How's that different than stealing? I think they got lazy Yeah, yeah, I think god phoned that last one in like we need one more. He was like, all right. Here we go Um, the the commit adultery one. I'm gonna go back to that one because there's there's a thing here It says this commandment also includes fornication Which is sex between unmarried people sorry um

prostitution Let those ladies get that money back off team god. Yeah pornography back way off team god way off team god homosexual activity Come on god told you god was 20 20 god was throwing subs at the gaze That was the first diss track masturbation god. I it's nice knowing you these were the first diss tracks right here Son and mad people group sex you can't have either Come on Uh, rape Or I'll give you I get it. All right team god point incest back on god. Uh pedophilia definitely

Absolutely two points bestiality four points. Let's you know and then necrophilia I'll even double up that one two six points. Can't fuck the dead. It's kind of a draw though It is kind of a draw. Yeah, it's kind of a draw. Yeah, so Maybe we should just revise these a bit. Yeah, I think you should be able to update that Yeah, yeah at least put like a radius on the neighbor dude. We just made a new lion king I think we can make a new commandment. I I believe we've got two steels on here We can sub one of these out for don't yank the pope could be the 10th one Don't the yank of the don't yank of the pope don't yank of the the the the pope

Also, why can't priests have sex? Yeah, I mean that's always been a big thing for me Do you think that has anything to do with 100 the boy stuff 100% really? Yes Dude, you can't fuck And then you have all these kids who are easily manipulated You're a grown-ass man with these sexual fucking desires and you fucking manipulate these children and have sex with them I I don't listen. Some of them probably just get into it to do that. I don't know. Really? Yeah, I'm sure I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure and another thing too is though I feel if they could bang

There'd be less of that Hopefully, I mean I could be wrong. They could just be sick all sick freaks But you know, it is interesting though that just open up another thing. Just let us put us. I was raised catholic So I get to say this. Okay This is my time. No, but I just feel like it's interesting that Like Catholicism has that rep of like, oh, yeah priests are out here, you know smacking ass Yeah, you know what I mean? Um And that it is that

Job Like is there another job we're like, oh these people are known for teachers Yeah Teachers get mad weird But I guess but that one experience that one actually makes more sense to me because they have more access to children Like I don't think that priests have like a lot of access to children like they have altar boy. Sure, but sunday school They don't teach the classes ccd. They don't teach the classes. Yeah, but they'd be around that shit Yeah, but what I'm saying is like a teacher is like they're they spend more time with

Children than they do with their husbands Or their wives or whatever not that I'm giving a fucking excuse to teachers. I'm saying like treats. I'm saying but Yeah, but dude Trips to the park charity softball games No, but what I'm saying is like With with priests you have to assume that That plays a part just because they Prayer camp. All right. Are you done?

Is that a thing? Yeah, there's definitely camps where you go learn how to pray for sure Isn't it just reciting? Some people want to be better at than others. I guess so Um, no, but I think it's interesting that like it it even has that rep even if you believe that it's not true It has to come from somewhere right water park trips. Can you please stop sorry? Um, and I know you're not done because you're leaning back in your chair and you're gonna fire another one off And I'm just gonna lose it When have you seen a priest at a water park trip? He still has

There goes father he's going down the cliff diver Oh my god I've never seen a priest. I've never seen a priest wet. You ever see a priest wet. No, I've never seen a priest in a pool I've only seen him get people wet. Yeah, he wets people with the thing and he blesses them with the water Got blessed to god, but I've never seen a priest wet in my life Do you think they shower or are they not allowed to get wet because I've never seen them in a pool You see you see no wet priest Never never have can't have sex can't get wet

Yeah, that's why women can't be priests because they get wet when they get excited Can't be wet and a priest Boom a lot of it does have to go back to liquid now that I think about all of it is liquid kid It's mostly liquid the blood of christ liquid. That's a liquid Liquid did this shit that he just you know, he's he's what is it? What is that dipping and doing? He's wetting everyone. It's wetting up. It's wetting up the club Moisture churches are always hot Yeah, they are

Never seen a priest wet and you can never find the organ player Where are they? Where are you? Where is the organ player in church? I'm like, yo, I need to find you sir Never found him. It's like I'm hearing a sound. Yeah, but I don't see this organ. Yeah, why that's so weird Yeah, they hide that they hide that fuck An organ is huge. Yeah, and I don't know where they stash them. I always think I find them, but then I don't yeah Or like, you know when the guy when when the priest like he like lifts up the host And he's like blessing it and there's just like a random bell that range. You're like, where's this bell? Yeah

Yeah, that's who they're very mischievous. Yo, these are tricky Tricky men tricky men. We're gonna hide organs and bells from you and pedophilia and that too It all coincides. They're very good at hiding things. Yep. Yep The bell though the bell never I found it once. Did you really? Yeah, I never found bell Dude, I swear to god my entire life. I was like, where the fuck is this bell? And I I know when it was coming because he starts going over there and he's like half talking Hey, he's like in the body of the holy and like whatever Now our priest was in the spirit. Yeah, our priest was like mad african

And he would break the the the things up and I'm like, all right, you know, it's about to it's about to go down Actually before he would break it down He would he would have the cup and he would start drinking out of it and then like, you know Wiping it away. It was wiped. I should like a player too though. It's like Yeah, it was dope. So pages head. So I know So he would do that and then he would just like put his head down and he would start like doing like a like whisper prayer And I'm like, yeah, what is he saying? He's like Like dad, dude, he's blessing the shit out of that and then I'm like I'm like it's about to go down

And then he'd lift the thing up and the bell would go off and I'd be like a hawk trying to find this thing And then one time I saw an altar boy On his like knees and he was like hiding and he had this like thing and he was just Oh Snocky hit it with the pring pring. Yeah, he was like Were you ever an altar boy? No My mom wanted me to do it And I actually wanted it to do it because I thought the the capes with the rope uh belts was five just pull up

Yeah, just look like Quasi moto or something. That was good. Yeah, all your friends are there too. We're like, yo, joe's killing it Yeah, like you all I'm on a stage right now. I'm working like take it easy holding the book and shit Yeah, hold the read here read this let an adult hold the book Or just put it in a nice stand or something. I could always do that Also, that's kind of weird too because there would be These podiums that you could put a book on. Yeah, but then it's like no I get little uh fucking anything over here A little open up the fucking book and hold it hold it for a while make sure I'm on the page that I'm supposed to be at

Yeah, you know what I mean? Weird shit. Those are big books too satanic shit. Yeah Black magic Polygulty area everybody dude. We're going we're just it's over Nah, yeah, the church is coming after us. It's fine. Wouldn't be the first time they came after a couple of boys. Oh got them Oh, you hit that way I throw it to me throw it to me

All right, seriously, let's go Okay, we're done. Yeah, what are we talking about? I don't know the pope Being chased by the catholics church. Oh, yeah. No, I use I got chased by a priest once Like physically or like for sex. No, no, no wait what Well, he was No, I was he was mad at me. Oh, yeah Yeah, it was no, he wasn't gonna. No, no, no, I don't think it was it was a sexual mad

It was an actual mad because we're playing hand, uh manhunt around the church And he was I tell you about to say manhands. I was like, okay I really was gonna say, uh handhunt, which sounds like a sexual game. It is that I'd like to invent and play Uh, but yeah But uh, yeah, we're playing manhunt around the church and uh, he came out and he's like guys friends We can't have this Yo, I just did his voice so good

When my mom sees this she's gonna look What was his name friends? We can't have this You can't play manhunt around the church He really talked like that Why did he talk sing it? I come outside. I'm not talking and I'm yelling guys You can't play here. It's private property

This land is owned by the church. I'm john f. Kennedy It's owned by the one true god. You're stepping on the lord's petunias Someone called the authorities watch the lord's grass Dude, holy shit. Yeah, he was tight though, man. He came out with his like black collar with the white Which is fire by the way. Hell yeah, that should whoever came up with that like has a crazy fashion Yeah, priest got fired drip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah Dude, I just that's so funny though. You come out all the time guys. I told you you can't play here Go play two blocks over

Oh I see you guys hiding behind the trees come out and just go somewhere else now Yeah, sometimes we just run away from him, but other times be like, all right, we'll get out of here father Fuck you father. I forgot what his name was. It sounded like a chicken dish. Like what's this chicken chicken sketch a telly No, with the father father screwed screw your belly. No, what's the what's the reds the red uh, like wine chicken thing Marsella, it sounded like marsella father. Marsella father. Marsella father chicken. Marsella. Yeah, good guy Tasty guy tasty guy. Uh, but yeah, he never got you know popped for uh, you know

PDOs or anything like that. He's a good guy. He's all right. Good guy. He's all right He's fine with me. He's a good guy. Um Get off my baton. Yes Get off the grass stay away from my grass. Oh man, it's so funny. That's great Yeah Shout out to the rectory or whatever. Yeah word And you got to live right next to work too. Can't even be late. Stresh. Yeah, man Well, fuck is a dormitory life for life straight church and living in a dome

No You think you're pretty sure of twitters? Yeah, I'm sure some of them like the big ones Yeah, like instagram. I love them like those preachers have like private jets Yeah, just talk about jesus What's his name? Joe austin. Yeah, he's like come on now You know jesus is your lord and savior But pay me give it 10 million dollars. I'll tell you how much of a savior he is come on now Those tickets are expensive. Hell. Yeah, you know, like I think kanye and him are doing like a tour doesn't surprise me

Yeah, not at all. No, but you know, I did like the sunday service record though You want to get out of here? Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here before we ruin any other chance of us ever having a show ever again Uh, my name is danielo priori and you can find me at danielo priori on instagram and twitter I tried to change my instagram to at danie recently and that didn't work But yeah, go to at danielo priori because I feel like everyone butchers my last name It's lit. Oh, and this tank podcast. Sorry at this tank podcast on instagram and twitter We just picked a winner to give away ps4 xbox or nintendo switch. Nice So motherfuckers got fucking presents out the ass. Yeah

So i'm saying uh and uh much love to everyone hope everyone's new year started off great and you're doing great or whatever But I don't really care because my life's terrible. Yeah Because my life's terrible, um, yeah guys, uh, you can find me at joseph and I gotta go follow the show at the baseman yard On instagram. I don't know why i'm getting lower Yeah Oh, yeah, this episode was a little strange. It was so weird. Yeah, it started off good And then it got real bad. Yeah got weird I shouldn't have brought the pope. Yeah, no, we had a good walkoff moment though

I googled the 10 commandments on the show Yeah, but we might have the moment of the year in the first episode second episode of the year This one. Yeah, which one? Oh, oh The gay walk off. Yeah, the gay walk off the gawk off the gawk off. Um Cocked off our double gawk off Okay OPL videos OPL podcast. Yeah, uh, go check it out um

Go actually go to the youtube channel because uh announcement. Uh, other people's lives is going to Uh full video when it comes back on january 30th is our first episode. Um, it is youtube.com slash other people's lives If you're a fan of that show go subscribe um and wait for the first episode of the season We're really excited to be doing that redid the studio to the stank and other people's lives are going to look totally different It looks much better. Um, but yeah, that's pretty much it Shout out to our patrons. We appreciate all y'all I'll be the best if you guys want to get extra content that me and danie you're doing head to patreon.com slash the baseman yard

Sign up and you've got debt. All right, and thank you to everyone who donated Um for the month of december we took that money and we were building Um, we donated to get We're funding water wells in africa. Yes. Um, so we got two of them done Um, but we raised like 16 or 18 thousand dollars. So we just donate all of it So it was enough for two wells. Um, so thank you to everyone. We appreciate that show. Um, that was awesome So, yeah, that is all see you guys next time shout out to father chicken marsala develop pieces You