The Basement Yard - #247 - I Like To Get Choked
Episode Date: June 22, 2020On this episode, we talk about weird sex stuff, our dads doing illegal things, the evolution of porn & more! Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the basement yard Danny. How's it going today doing well doing well?
Trying to not say good as much
Why you know like oh like I'm doing good. I'm good. It's supposed to be like I'm doing well
Trying to clean where I'm trying to like clean up my English and shit
Why you're going on like a Royal Tea Party or some shit? No
I've really had an epiphany that like I make myself sound very dumb
Yeah, but then I also arrived at another epiphany that I'm actually done
So you've just been like epiphany eating all day, bro. I've had epiphanies this whole week
This has been epiphany week. Yeah, you know, so you just you just been epiphanying. Yeah, I've been epiphanying
All over the place. I've been epiphany. I'm at the peak of my epiphany's
Yeah, so like that's what that is. Yeah, but uh, it's supposed to be oh
You think you're dumb. You think you have a stupid vocabulary. I don't think I have like a stupid doodoo dumb brain
What what I think is like I
Choose to be
Dumb when I speak at times sometimes
Right, so like I'll say like me and Joe instead of Joe and I like all the time
So you think you're doing that purposefully or you just you are you dumb? I
Think it started out as dumb or do you think you're so dumb that you can't even figure it out
I think I'm so dumb that it's hard for me to figure out honestly like
This is this is a sad thing about epiphany's because you have to take a deep look inside yourself and realize how fucking stupid you are
Yeah, but you know, I just think that it started out as a joke and then evolved into actual certified dumbness
Yeah, you know like um
But I will say I do have a lot of like useless knowledge that makes me somewhat smart
This conversation is so dumb no it's not
But I'm just saying like do you ever have days where you feel like like you'll look at yourself and be like, you know
Like I'm a dumb person
No, you've never had to never had a date like that. Oh, I've had I've in you know
I don't feel like that now. I feel like I've you know grown out of it
By the way, I'm currently doing something not like in this second
But I'm currently doing something that I really don't even want to tell you about okay. That's great for the show because you
All right, I'll tell you yeah, tell me tell me you can't tell anyone. I promise I promise
What do you even do I tell you tell me I'll be your best friend
You remember you just offer up your best friend for secrets all the time when you were younger
Yeah, and if you'll tell me I'll be your best friend and then person was like alright fine
Dude the success the success rate on I'll be your best friend might be like somewhere around 88 to 92%
Oh my god. Yes, dude. So I don't even offer that to my best friend
Like I would tell Frankie and be like y'all be your best friend and like I'm already your best friend
You're not gaining anything and then I get the secret. So I want I want the secret
We all want the secret give us the goddamn secret you bitch. Give us the goddamn see give me the goddamn page. What's that from? I
Don't know. Oh, it's from a true lies. Oh true lies speaking true lies. I saw the true lies bridge
remember the one
That's a great scene
Jamie Lee Curtis's tits in that movie. We're so
Pointy. Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtitz
Curtitz
Was she her Mafford I I feel like I heard that that's like the big rumor that she was a math
But I don't know if that's true or not
You didn't think she was her me. I mean I saw her titties
Me too. I saw him numerous times also wouldn't matter Jamie Lee Curtis, especially in the true lies days. Hello
Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah
Yeah, bring whatever you got it doesn't even matter dancing her ass off. Oh
No, no, no do it
If no one knows that movie which I'm assuming a lot of people don't like they have no idea we're talking about but all you need to know
Jamie Lee Curtis tits Arnold Schwarzenegger being Arnold's
Helicopters explosions all you need to do great great film laser guns and stuff. Hell yeah, cool
What was that other Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that it was like the end of the world or something?
He was like, it's like he's like I'm fighting the devil
Like a terminator. They're all like no, he literally fights Satan. I think I think it's called judgment something
He fights the devil. He fights the devil. I
Like Christmas Eve or some shit
Because that's when you would fight the devil. Yeah, that's Jesus's birthday
You know, he always comes out and tries to wreak havoc on his birthday. Hell, yeah, don't you're getting farther and farther away from the secret
I'm not gonna let you go. Oh, yeah. No, I'm glad you said that cuz I forgot what I was saying
But you remember how I don't know if I mentioned it on this show, but like I wanted like I have an interest in like psychology or whatever
Yeah, I
Found out that you can take
free online courses
So right now I'm taking a intro to psychology class through Yale
Do you know how pretentious I am going to be in the coming weeks
What what was like the slight what did you need to take the class? Nothing?
They didn't ask me if you went to high school or nothing. No, no, no, that's it's on a site
They they recorded like a whole semester of lectures for in
2007 and
It's the intro to site class and you could just take it like they have it all on video
And you just do it at your own pace and they have like a midterm exam and they have a finals exam
From 2007 yeah at one point at one point in the class the guy actually said, uh, you know, there there is no
Cuz he's talking about like neural transmitters and like all this shit
And then he was saying there's no technology right now that can just recognize your face and I'm like, oh man
We're there bud. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, we made it dude. Don't worry. You're gonna be the smartest person in
2007 in 2020
If we go back in time
Like I'm in a time machine right now in 2007 and I go to Yale. Yeah, dude
Like this is what's happening. You go to you know so hard. I go to Yale
Honestly, I'm gonna go on their store and just buy a bunch of Yale stuff and tell people I went there
I was I was gonna sign up for these classes at the University of Miami
It is so expensive
It's college. Yeah, I was like, this is why I didn't go to college. Well, there's other reasons, but this is didn't want to go
I was like, I don't know how kids afford this and
But also beer. Yeah. Yeah beer beer. That's the craziest thing that I know that
If I went to college now, I'd be good
But would I?
Yeah, I don't know I don't know. The attention span on you is not sick. I'm not what you say
I said the attention span on you is not sick. I fell for it
I feel like an idiot now. I don't know. I just been having these like that's another epiphanization that I had is that
is that uh, I
Realized that like there's like other fit like if I went to school now be able to pick a major like I know what I would
Want to do
Yeah, but I also just have no interest in like anything else like I like psychology and that's why I'm like
Oh, this would be cool to learn about it. You know, it's kind of the equivalent of like having a gun
Like an audiobook playing in your ears or whatever, but you get to watch this do teach the class, you know
If I had to take fucking
you know
1800s art class or whatever the fuck
I don't give a fuck. I don't care
the fact that
Like you have prerequisites. Is that the word?
Mm-hmm prerequisites
It's like, why do you have to take math to like get into your major? Who gives a shit?
I don't know. I don't understand my semester in college that I had an English class
I got an a in it. We were learning about commas
I wanted to just get in front of the class and be like guys, if you don't know commas by now pack it up
Yeah, like just go home. Yeah, what are you doing in here? We're learning about the comma. You fucking kidding me
Also, why are we teaching about the semicolon? When are we using that? Never
Very sparingly. Do you know do you use a semicolon? Do you know when they use a semicolon?
No, I have no idea and I've been I've made it this far and I've no one's ever been like you should use a semicolon there
Dude, I've never for years. I would put a just a before a vowel
Instead of an
Oh, yeah, but that
Wait what like I would be like, uh, yeah, so I was with a
employee
A. Oh, yeah, okay. An employee. I was with an elephant
I mean, I get how that comes across in speech. I was with I was with a monkey
That's not it. That would be the right it. Oh, yeah, right thing. Oh, yeah, that's right
Do you not know vowels either? No, did you go at any class? Yes, I did. I did went to some
It was cutting skinner gardens the fuck
What when is why a vowel I still don't know
Oh, wait, what?
I forget. Why is a vowel sometimes? I don't know when
Wait, I did it. Yes. Why is a vowel sometimes unless they got rid of it like how they got rid of pluto as a planet
Oh, yeah, it says the letter y can be regarded as both a vowel and a consonant
Why?
No, I don't know dude. I don't know how anyone learns the English language because it's like we have the same word and it's like two things
That's what are those called
Not acronyms
What when they have
similes
No, I think similes aren't like the wait. Maybe I don't know. I think it is simile
like which and which
Yeah, like come on like come on. I get it like you could see it. But when you're talking it's like
Which which it was my second language and someone's like, you know, which one I feel like there's a witch in here
That's scared for a second. You be like where where is this beach? Where's which one and also where's which two?
I see you put some new art in the background. I don't know if you could see it on your camera
A little bit. I mean, it's just like a three panel thing of like New York City
That's such a big thing now like panel art
I'm not crazy about it because I had to hang three things
Yeah, I like just hanging one thing. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I hate when furniture comes in pieces
Like when my couch came and it came in pieces. I hated that whatever just happened the whole things
You can't get a couch in one shot. All right through a door. Yeah, you can but another thing too is why
Couches should fold
Couches say that. Yeah, there should be a hinge
There should be a hinge fold it up, you know, like a carrying briefcase kind of thing
Yes, or like on the technology or like how people you can get a mattress delivered to you in a suction cup box
Why can't why can't you get a couch that just unfolds?
Vacuum my couch into a bag that I could put in my purse. Have you seen those tiktoks of people getting vacuum sucked?
What like people will sit in a trash bag and they'll put a vacuum in there and suck it till it's like skin tight
Can't you die like that?
Po Po looking for me probably
I'm down here. You dumb idiot
No, um
The thing I wanted to bring up and I and I was gonna bring it up last week
But I forgot is I read this in new york post article that
The government is basically saying
That couples should wear mask
during sex
There was a new study
Like doctors masks or like btsm with a zipper
Around the mouth mask. See that's what I was going to get into but it says that you should wear like a doctor's mask
When you're about to smash
Mask then smash
I don't know dude's like my stamina is pretty good, but when I have sex like I need to breathe dude. Oh, yeah
I got a breather. I need breaths
Do you sweat?
Oh
Yeah
Like an animal
I sweat easily though
I could sweat right now if I like really want like if I just sit here and think about it
I could start sweating. Yeah, if it gets past minutes five boys drenched. Oh, I mean, I'm
I'm not like drenched
But I'm definitely in there also speaking of sweat swamp ass kind of thing the other day was in the shower
man
The algae between my butt cheeks is growing because because it's like y'all honestly
This is the first time in my life. I was like cleaning my ass and then I was like I could feel hair
Mm-hmm
Because usually I've had one of those asses that like you would have to do a spread job and also like in order to see
You know the hair and the forest that you know lies between
Uh, but now I think it's making its way out like you're becoming a man
You ever go to like a lake that you've been to all the time and then one summer you're like, damn
We just made along this year. It's kind of like that
Well, the thing also is like
if you have
See, you know, I've recently waxed my asshole, but like
Knowing that your asshole has nothing on it
It's it's the first time probably since I was a baby that I had a hairless asshole
I'd be worried about like
Wiping like slipping like going too fast. No because like I was so slick like a barbie's ass
See, I thought that now I'm in like
Like day like five or six so like I could feel like uh, it's it's not as
As slippery as it used to be now. There's like some tension there. You know, I mean traction traction
I said tension of course. There's tension friction some friction
But uh, I would have thought my asshole would be way itchier than it is now, but it's not
Thank god, dude. That would be terrible. Have you had a moment at all wearing a mask in public where you're like, okay?
This is that I'm gonna pass out and die
I tried to wear a mask on one of my runs once
And I was like I this is gonna I know the mask is like
You know, I'm trying to prevent from getting other people's sake or whatever, but I'm gonna die
I'm gonna pass out. I can't breathe everything suffocate
It's like being suffocated
I can't wear it for more than like 10 minutes like I've left stores because I couldn't breathe because I'm breathing in just like carbon dioxide
Is that the right one?
You are correct. Yes
You know what's on netflix now fucking jeopardy
Dude, I've been watching jeopardy. They have like those three. They have it like they don't even have seasons
They have three people that were dominant will have all their episodes something wilson, right?
I don't know. There's that one fat white dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah with the glasses. So he's like
He's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god. Yo, Alex Trebek is low key a fucking asshole. Yeah, he is a dick
Alex Trebek is like
low key
One of those kids in high school. I was like fucking nerd because he'll we have to interview everyone after that first round
He's like, so what do you do and some woman's just like, you know, I actually like to collect nail polish and he's like
Fucking gay
Like he always makes like a comment like that. That's like we it's so funny
Like that one famous one that went viral and he was just he's like
So so losers like she was like, you know the type of people that do that. He's like, yeah losers
He literally says that I think he accidentally like did it with like a indian person once too
Or like or like an asian person and it was like an asian or indian question
And he was like, oh that one hurts
Like it's tough to like not get that one. I was just like, oh, alex
Yeah, it's like, uh, mom and dad are gonna be mad about that. All right. You got 500
I wonder if people are actually really practicing though like this
Safest approach they said the safest approach sexual activity is not having any I hate that I hate when people say that
I know it's like that's the thing you say to like second graders like your first sex ed class or whatever
Yeah, it's like what a teacher like puts their hands on their knees and like gets down to like eye level with you and tells you that
Yeah, it's like the best way to not have an std. It said not have sex
And then I hate that other thing. It's like, hey when you're gonna talk to children get on your knees and talk to them in their eyes
I'm like
All right, they're like
I'm like, it's a little weird though. No, like I'm gonna turn myself into a half person to have a conversation with this person
That's not even gonna remember this conversation
You know what I mean
Yeah, I mean also I got bad knees
I just don't I just don't want to make
I contact the children that hard. I don't want to stare into a children's face
It's not for me. It's not for me. I don't know
The last time I looked at a child's eyes
That wasn't a baby
Yeah, babies look at you because they're still trying to figure out the world and they want to know like what's going on
But i'm saying like a fucking six-year-old
I haven't made eye contact with a six-year-old in maybe years dude. You're going to love it
I haven't dude. I haven't
There's not a whole bunch of six-year-olds in this neighborhood
No, no, no, and if you got down on your knees and started talking to one someone would probably call the authorities
Yeah, I'd be you know, I'd be in uh, I'd be booked in a minute for that. Do you think you completely
Uh, ejaculate
While wearing a doctor's mask. This can't happen. I mean we have to have something in between these conversations. Oh, yeah
That's right. Yeah, I forgot children. You can't say get on a knee talk to a child and then you're like do you think you could ejaculate?
I know I was going but yeah, all right
So, uh, what were you going to say? I was going to say can you think you could fully ejaculate with a doctor's mask on?
And then also your other your partner is wearing a mask
Dude, I could ejaculate
with
a helmet like anything on
Also, I heard that when you were like suffocating and coming it's more fire. Yeah erotic
asphyxiation I can't pronounce that without you know
Almost gagging like the creation this shows you how dumb I was and I think this is
Contributes to how stupid I am
um
I used to wrap a sock around my neck
And jerk off no not jerk off
Uh, I used to
When I was little this is a true story just get to it
I would just I would wrap a sock around my neck until I would almost pass out
Because it would make you for no reason. Yeah, because it would make your head feel like all like like tingly and stuff
Ask any ask ask my brother mike ask anybody for some reason they would just sit around and watch you almost kill yourself
They stopped me. They stopped me. They were like, yo, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know. It just feels good
I
Thought you were wrapping that sock around your neck and then beating it
No, no, no, no because the sock would go this way and you would have to hold it with two hands
Yeah, people are gonna think this is made up and that's perfectly fine, but it's 100 true
I almost want to call my brother mike and ask him, but I know he won't answer
How big were these socks? They were just like I think they were my dad's socks tubes tubes. Yeah. Yeah, my dad was a tube guy
Yeah, my dad was a tube guy too. Yeah, it was a tube guy, but yeah, my dad has never worn socks that don't go up past your path
Seriously, yeah, I don't know what it was. It was like a month thing
That for a month of your life. You were just decided you're gonna try and suffocate yourself
I was addicted to like wrapping a sock around my neck. I don't know what that was
I want to go into erotic expectation. No, I don't think I could dude. I'm too fucking hypo
Like too hypo for that
I guess
My kid wraps sock around his neck. I think I looked up an article on it. You're googling it this
You could have just wrote person. You didn't have to throw children into the mix. You got some weird articles, you know
Might want a backspace that for the fbi comes knocking
I don't know what it is. I don't know it was like, uh, remember the pass out game where you make your friends pass out and
Shit, I've seen that happen and I was like, I remember thinking this is incredibly fucking stupid
Yeah, so like it was basically like doing that to yourself to the brink of not passing out
So basically I was just like brain coming. I think
No, I think you were just stupid
I wonder if that had any impact on like how like my brain is now. Oh, yeah, dude. You think uh
Would you do uh, uh all uh june 2012
I choked myself
I think I was in june 2012. Yeah, so he was 23 years old
No, no, no, I think uh, I think I was around like 12. I think I was around like
Yeah, 11 or 12 fifth or sixth grade
Wait 12. You're like in eighth grade. No, you're you're 13 when you're in eighth grade
Fifth grade your fifth grade your tenth sixth grade. You're 11
But yeah, so for some reason I was just I don't know what was going on
I was and then I remember I told my dad about and he flipped out
Oh, yeah, he's probably like what was my son doing? Yeah, he's like this fucking freak just brain numbing himself downstairs
Dude, I also now that we're kind of sort of talking about this. It kind of fits into
We recorded an episode of other people's lives talking to this girl that likes to be hurt during sex
And boy when she says hurt she means it
Because the choking thing that you're saying where it's like where I was kind of saying like, you know people like to
You know try to suffocate and then come at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah
There's like that and she went over like these two different ways to choke people
Is it was it like the the the on the bed frame?
Like what are you doing with like uh like uh
Not with a belt, but it's like with like a sheet
What the fuck are you talking about nevermind you're choking someone with a sheet
No, now I now I now I need to know no
This sounds like you are attempting murder on someone. No, no, no, no
Wait, you wait. What are you talking about the headboard in a sheet? So, you know how the headboard has pegs, right?
Yeah, like people would wrap a sheet around that
And like put it around their neck so the person
The male underneath can tighten it around their throat while they're having sex
I've literally never seen that in my life. Yeah, it's a thing
Well, yeah, but you've made it seem like it was just like a standard way to choke someone
No, I just think I thought I thought that was
No, all right go on usually you just use your fucking hands
Nah, the fuck this is building a blanket fort choking contraption the fuck
Well, there's pretty nice out. Yeah, so wait, are you building contraptions? I'm not anymore
So you've contrapped no someone contrapped me
You were contrapped. I was contrapped by a sheet on a headboard. Yes
So and you must have loved that because little sock boy, this is like even better, right?
That's why I didn't want to bring it up because this is probably why it happened
So you like to be choked. No
You like to you hate breathing. You're here. You have asthma. I have asthma. I
I was a jewel head
Yeah, you just hate breath. You know, I just hate breathing. I just want my breathing to be difficult
Yeah, choking during sex is very very sexual and very very hot and very very intimate and very very
I feel like you become one when you do that
There's and it's called breath play. You know, I'm just I'm just gonna tell the story. All right
It was very early on in my sexual career. I was like 19 years old. All right
And this person was like, you know, I like
To get choked, right and there's this scene from this movie
It's like Shakespeare and love or some shit
where
Like somebody gets like choked with like a bed sheet
And this person wanted to try it on me and on that person. So I was like, okay
Um, oh, so you guys contracted each other. Yeah. We have we yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah took turns contrapting. Right, right
So it was
I was like 19. I didn't know what I was doing
Um, I thought I did I thought it was sexy
Not sexy at all
Yeah, borderline. Let's just kill each other
That's what it was very dexter very dexter very dexter and it was very strange
So now that's why I thought that was the normal way to do it now. You got it out with me
I didn't want I don't want people to think I'm a disgusting freak
You are but yeah, did you so were you contrapting?
It was like a pulley system it was like wrapped around our hands and like we would like oh, yeah
It's like a dumb waiter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like you like I felt like I was like drawing open a curtain
I felt like a fucking I felt like human like
I was like I turned a human into a puppet
Like I could make her dance like she couldn't breathe or dance
Remember that board game mousetrap where like you'd flick a marble and then all this shit would happen
That's exactly what it was. Yeah, right. That's a contraption game. That's a contraption game. It's a great game
Yeah, we would close the door and then like everything would come into place. So that was early on
Did you like try to contrapt
Other people along the way. No, I just had a bad. I just had a bad experience. Nothing about it was sexual. It was just hurting
Right, so we didn't do it right
We just like I'm saying like we we attempted to kill each other. That's what it was
That's kind of hot. Yeah, it's pretty hot
This girl who we talked to on opl said that she likes to get smacked and like
She said six times out of ten when she gets slapped. She'll orgasm
Yeah, I mean that makes sense, so
Yeah, I mean no
Yeah, but she said that and I was like, how hard are we talking like because like, you know, I'm saying you give someone like a little like
Fucking bitch. Yeah
Or
And what she said it's like a man well for our special
She got slapped
like
You know just an insane slap. I mean she said that she had bruising on her face and they were like
Uh, you know spaces in between so you could see the fingers
It was like like this like you get bruised here and here and there would be a space
Because that's how hard she got hit. Can you imagine what it looked like when this dude?
She's like hit me and he was just like
Fucking slapped the shit out of her like I'm afraid to slap this thing
I would have sent it flying but like with fucking LeBron like chasing down Igudala. Oh my god
Dude literally pinned her face off the backboard and she was just like by James
Yeah, slapped a shit out of her. I was like you must have loved that then and she was like, yeah
I don't know what it is that
Pain is sexy in the bedroom, but it is
It is not because I think it's animalistic too. It should be like
Yeah, like like other animal like they nibble each other and shit they bite each other when they fuck or whatever
I don't I'm basing that on no knowledge
Which is most of my stuff based on life
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but no, it's true. I think it's animalistic to just be like I want to just
We have always pent up like emotion or whatever and you just want to get it out somehow usually that comes with some sort of like
violent act
You know, it's not always like hold on. Let's set up a quick experiment here to choke each other
Yeah, that that's that took a little more like, you know, we had like contractors come in and try and figure this out
I had a hard head on
Yeah, you had to get a permit from the city. Yeah, I had a fucking protractor and shit. I was like trying to figure it out
Once you get the angles down, it's very easy
No, it was because we saw this movie and they did it in a movie and we tried to do it
Why are you guys watching a shakespearian love story together because I didn't want to watch that shit
So this girl it's a movie with Heather Graham
That's great. That's all I remember
Damn, that's weird. She was like, I want to try that and I was like, okay
And that's weird. I don't think I've ever had a sexual experience where someone's like, I really want to try this thing
Oh, that's awesome
but not like it's
Because your sounds there's like how long were you guys like together? Um a while or no
Because that's what I mean, I mean like someone just be like, oh, I'm into this
It was like two or three months, but like I knew that I knew them for a while
Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just you know, I don't know
Yeah, it wasn't hasn't been some things along the road, but there's never been a thing where I was like, what is this?
You know or like we need to get, you know
I don't think that that started
I don't think that starts in a person's life until like maybe like their mid 20s
Because I feel like you have to get like all like the like the basics the prerequisites the prerequisite prerequisite prerequisites
out of the way
Bang get the prereq the prereq sex out and then that's when you kind of start to discover like hey, man
Like I want someone to throw me through a fucking wall. Like, you know, I want someone to you know
Call me names bullying me. Yeah, I want someone to give me the fucking rock bottom like like before I come or whatever
So like I like I get that
Spit my face. Yeah people's elbow, whatever
peeing peeing is a big thing and
um
peeing peeing is a very common fetish
Common yes
It's not more common than the foot. I mean I see the foot everywhere. Well the foot fetish is crazy
But like that's that's more of a I'm talking about doing one to a partner
You just you like pissing on people. Yeah, but there's also guys out there that just like to fuck like they'll hold feet together and fuck feet
Yeah, that's not
cool
What about titty fucking
That's awesome. That's cool. But it's also not like it's awesome to like
In theory, it's so awesome. You know, yeah, but you gotta because when you actually do it it's kind of like
This was cooler when I was thinking about it
Titty fucking is always cooler than
actual titty fucking but it also depends like if you're titty fucking with no like no one's talking
Then that's that's just weird
I think having sex without talking is so strange
There's some people that do that like if if you're not if you're not like calling someone like borderline like horrible names
Like what are you doing?
But not only that but like just not saying anything of like
You know, well, even if it's a little weirder
What would be weirder if like
Because I I have also tend to you know, go to the more aggressive side when it comes to that talk. Yeah, but
What's weirder? No talk at all or the like I love you so much
Kind of stuff. Um, I literally couldn't deal with that. I really couldn't
Well, I think I don't mind like
The word love in there, but you have to say like you have to say like you love like something like other than me
Don't love me
No, I don't even mind that I I mean like it just being this like
Cute thing. Oh just like make love. Just be like, I love you so much. You're just so pretty in this a lot
What the fuck? It's so that's so weird. No, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like if there's like a giggle during sex
Like that's weird. It's like I love you so much like I mean too
But it's like if you're like
If you're just like hitting it in your forehead fighting
And you're just like fucking love you and then like I fucking love you too. And it's just like that
I fucking love you
I think it's hot. I think that's really hot. No, yeah, just you got you got to say it aggressively
You can't say it like you're like reciting a haiku in front of the third grade class. You know what I'm saying, right?
You can't be like
Yeah, I just say
You can't say it cute like that because you only get so many opportunities
Throughout the day to talk like that and sex is one of them. Why not?
Because I hate how there's this whole like distinction between like making love and fucking like you can fucking make love
Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying like
Fucking is making love. I don't care if you guys are getting each other off. Like that's just that's just what you got to do
Yeah, and sometimes it gets so like aggressive that when it's finally over you're just like emotional
Yeah, dude. It's like I love this person more like we just ravaged each other. You know what I'm saying
Yeah, it's like damn. Yeah, we just went to battle and no one won
It's just a clash. It's just a clash of titans
It's a clash of the titans, man, you know, that's that's what the best thing
About it is is that you know, it's all fun and games. You know what I'm saying
This girl sounds like she just likes to get the shit beat out of her
Yeah, yeah, you know, it's part of it too
But I think that also she has that same thing because she told me and like I lost my mind
She said that her boyfriend
Was like edging her for a month
And for those of you who don't know what that means
It means that you get someone right to the point where they're about to orgasm and then you stop
So her boyfriend didn't let her orgasm for a month and then finally let her and I was like, what happened to you?
I actually told her I was like, I'm surprised you're alive. Can you imagine that?
I couldn't imagine that
I don't I can't edge for two days. I've been trying to do this thing with uh
this uh
What I haven't I haven't been trying to edge
but
Like it's like, you know, I'm you have to like when you take a uh a sperm test
You have to abstain for like 10 days or something
Okay, for like max like for like maximum effort
I'm jacking this thing. Yeah, I know you're not you're not
You know, you know, like I'm gonna be 10 days. They're asking a lot of like I'm gonna send it in and be like, hey guys, sorry
And then just like and like give it to them. But like, you know, it's it's
When's the last time do you think didn't you do no not november once or we tried to but you made it like nine days
And I made it like
Four minutes. I did it
two years ago
It wasn't no not november. It was just like a random month. I like had a bet with uh a med
Oh, and he like bailed out after like nine days. Yeah, that sounds like a med
Did you uh, did you just like pop a fire rope after?
Not it wasn't it's not like it builds up to the point where it's like
This thing if you like hold out for a year, it's gonna be spectacular. Dude. I don't know man. If it goes a couple days
Shaking well, yeah
I know but it doesn't get like
bigger
Like it gets to a certain point. No, there's more there's more of volume
Right, but I'm saying like if you wait like five days and then you wait 15 days
There's not a whole lot of difference there. Yeah, I I get that but like a part of me we want to know like
like
What's the do it on a scale? Yeah, like I just want to see it and just be like, oh my god
Because that's like that's like popping champagne now. I think about it
That's a great celebration after 30 days of no nut
And then you just get to pop the top
Yeah, think about that. That's wildly insane
You get to do whatever you want and by do whatever you want. I mean shoot a huge rope
Yeah, but also I heard that women's orgasms are like way more intense and they're longer
Yeah, because that shit's internal
Yeah, it's like inside
And it's like connected to
You know, I'll I'll take that class next. Yeah, I'll learn more about that
But right now all I have is that they're longer. So can you imagine just waiting out?
And then fucking setting it off
I'm surprised this girl didn't go blind in an eye just fucking scribbler town
Yeah, just like
Just lose your minds
That might that might be the most
Sexual 20 minutes we've ever had on the show. Yeah, that was kind of intense
I'm a little horny too. A little dude. I'm gonna have to take a break after this. I literally feel like I need to like
Like what the do you hear this?
Wait, is there digging? No, there's some dude out here just like
Starting up a goddamn race car
All right, I'll think that'll fix the post
Yeah, I'll uh
I'm gonna get to these ads real quick and then we'll jump into something. I actually have something
I want to talk to you about me too
Why do you always say it like that fucking scare me every time you say that every time you say something like that?
I feel like you're gonna fire me on the air
I want to talk to you about something by the way. See you there's something I want
I need to talk to you about I'm like great come into my office later. I need to speak to you
Okay at the end of the day
And bring a cardboard box of your things
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Next we have liquid iv uh liquid iv is an easy healthy solution for dehydration. I've been using it a lot because I've been running a lot lately
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I apologize. I'm I was I'm very flustered
I get yeah, I could tell you scared the shit out of me scared the shit out of you
Yeah, the worst thing is when you see them out of the corner of your eye and you know
It's there, but you have to turn and see it and I was like god damn and when I jumped up he bounced
Well, you already you already know what happened when we saw a cockroach in my old apartment
Oh, that clip has been documented. It's based on your history guys. Why are they so gross?
They fly down here. They fly down here
Ew, they fly dude
Floridian roaches
I've been what I've been watching this guy kill iguanas on youtube from south florida
When I tell you first of all seeing an iguana run
Is the craziest thing the way they run is so funny. They're like
Back and forth. Yeah, like this
This guy killed a iguana. Why do you kill iguanas? Are they're not even dangerous? Are they dangerous?
They're considered like rats down here
Iguanas. Yes, they're considered they ruin
Like crops and shit like that's their like you can kill them
With no punishment down here
I couldn't even kill an iguana. It's too big for me to like, you know be able to stay. What do you do?
Are you cut its head off? Yeah, you either like cut its head off or shoot it with a BB gun like people kill them all the time down here
Murderers
Well, it's legal here
But yeah, like even a mouse. I can't like step on it
I gotta like get a trap. I've killed the rat. I think I've told that story sick person
No, I know you told me you like picked it up and you grabbed it or something
Yeah, I picked it. No, I picked it up by its tail and smashed it
Yeah, you're just you're a sick sick person. No, it was in my house rats are pests
There's a difference between pests and animals. I'm sorry
Of course rodents are disgusting. I'm not gonna pick my fucking dog up and swing him around like a goddamn, you know
Pinata bat, but like, you know
If there's something in my house that's not supposed to be there like a cockroach
Or a rat or an iguana at this point. I'll I'll take I'll tell I'll go there. I'll go to the brink with you
Why can't these things that pop up in our house be cute things?
It would just be like a puppy just being like, oh my god a puppy and then you'd be like, oh, this is actually kind of nice
It's a puppy here. It's like it's gotta be a roach. It's gotta be a roach
but it's
Some people find roaches like not threatening which is wild to me
Like people like have a they'll have a roach and they'll think like, oh, hey, like this is an animal. Oh my god
Yeah, hi
And i'm good. Thank you. You're the most jumpy man right now
What happened?
Housekeeping just came in here
Oh my god. God dudes. Can I can I just work?
But I'm trying to get afraid. I gotta cut it all over this episode now
Getting scared and shit. God. Anyway, sorry. Fuck
Talk about something
I'm gonna go back to back scared. Yo, just out the top row both times. All right, you know what I'm gonna do for you
I'm gonna blow your mind. All right blow it
Oh
Talk to me nice. All right. Um, did you know
It's impossible to hum while pinching your nose
Like closing off your
Wait, hold on. Let me see some hold on
Bro with your mouth closed
Oh
It popped my ears
Yeah, because the air needs to escape in order to be a hum. You can only hum for a certain amount and then it explodes your mouth
Your mouth's open you cheating bitch
Close your mouth
Oh my god, I almost passed out. Is it weird? Is it possible to like keep your eyes open when you sneeze too?
Is that it or is that a myth?
Can you yo, I would be so intimidated if you're just like staring at someone and they sneezed and they didn't even blink
I'd be like god damn dude. Like you're a gangster. Can I ask you a question about uh old youtube?
I've been watching a lot of ed bass master
uh-huh
um
Was he around like the same era as you?
Yeah, so you guys did you guys were ever any like correspondence?
No
But he was a gigantic like youtuber. He's huge
Yeah, and I was not so like we would never be you were you had two million followers
That was like three two years ago, dude. We're talking about like in 2012
He was big 2013 14 whatever bro
His bits are some of the funniest ever on youtube. I think yeah, he's fucking hilarious. Would you look at it mumbles?
Testy always testy one of my favorite guys ever
Yeah
And one of my other favorite ones is putting you on the news
What?
What if I'm putting you on the news?
Oh
I'm putting you on the news. So like
Who were who's like the on the mount rushmore of youtube?
The mount rushmore of youtube uh me, you know
Uh jenna marbles has to be up there. Okay
um, I would say
Ryan hega
Don't know who that is. He's a he was a gigantic youtuber and like I'm only putting him on the mount rushmore because I think like
he
Was gigantic at a time
You know and like he kind of was like the og at like creating these like sketches and was like super successful at it
Okay, so I would put him up there
um
Marbles hega
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know those two stand out in my mind because when I was like first starting like they stood out as like
Jenna did this thing and she was like the only one who was super successful at it
And then he did the sketch thing and he was like the one that stood out to me the most
And then I guess you would have to put like
I don't know bro. You know, honestly, you might have to put like logan paul on there
Yeah
Because although people like don't like him, but it's like yo this dude like crushes
Yeah, he crushes and he
kind of created this
Thing oh kasey nice that's up there for sure. Oh, yeah kasey. I forgot about kasey. Yeah kasey is definitely up there
Um, but yeah, I think you might put logan paul up there. That's a that's a that's a powerful mount more like
That's a good four
Yeah, definitely definitely for me like kasey's there and so is fucking jenna
Like those are the two that are locked for me
um
But yeah, you might you could throw logan in there. I think just because like
Who's bigger than him?
On youtube in the modern day like no one. No one. No. No, you're right
So he'd probably have to be there and how long has youtube been up?
Dude, I have no idea. Was it around like 12 years ago. Do you remember the first youtube video you've ever seen? Yes
So do I what's yours mine? It was uh
Uh, what's the what's the call when the hamster turns around?
All right, it's like the evil hamster. It's like
That was your first video. That was like my first video. Yeah, bro. My first video on youtube ever
Was a video of the evolution of dance. That was the first one I ever saw
Oh, that was a big one. That was a big viral video. Yeah, um, the first video I ever saw was a video of a monkey
Right and he's sitting on a branch and someone's filming him
like with a home video or whatever
and he uh
Is just sitting there and then he
digs into his ass
right
And then he takes two fingers and puts them under his nose to smell it and then he just falls off the branch
Sort of god
Dude, I'm gonna try and google it so that people can watch this if they haven't seen it because it's a great video
But it was the first video I saw and I was like, oh my god, youtube is awesome
I need to know what you're watching before that. It was like ebombs world, right?
Yeah, look funny monkey faints after smelling his own ass
But this says it was uploaded eight years ago, but that's definitely not true
Because I saw this video. I almost want to send it to you, but I don't want to like it's 22 seconds
Yeah, look, he's digging in his ass. He literally puts two fingers inside of his ass smells it and he goes, oh
Monkey smells ass fingers
No
Yep, I got it
Yeah, dude, look at how he passes out. It must have smelled. Oh, that's a big monkey
Oh, yeah, it's a oh no, no, no, no, okay
All right, he's fingering his ass now watch he passes
It's an amazing video
Oh man, now it's showing me monkeys react to magic. I love watching monkeys react to things. It's one of my favorite things
I've never seen that. You've never seen a monkey react to magic?
No, I didn't know magician's going to the zoo and like pick a card. Yeah, like they do card tricks and they're like
Like they'll literally be like, oh my god, like where is it?
It's wild. Damn. Oh, so
There was something I told you I want to talk about dads
We both had kind of like, you know blue collar dads
You know, yeah
Who are always yeah. Yeah, tube sock dads
um
Have you ever really just thought about like back in the day how many like borderline illegal things our dads would do
Like not being the mafia or like kill anyone but like my dad would drive with like a suspended license
Yes, dude, you know what i'm saying and like every time they would get pulled over they would be like
You know, hey coming back that your license is suspended and you'd be like, what are you talking about?
Since when completely knew his license was suspended the entire time
Was just gonna my dad at one point was just going to go through the rest of his life with a suspended license
He just didn't get it renewed. No
Wait, why was it suspended or did it expire?
It expired and then okay
I think after a while they suspend your license because you have to like after a certain amount of time
I think you have to retake the test and you didn't want to retake the test
So his license got suspended and he knew it and my dad was just driving around with a suspended license
Yeah, we had a legal cable
Remember a legal cable. Yeah legal cable
It's like our dads are like these like beacons of like listen, you got to do the right thing
All right, now i'm gonna watch the spice channel when you go to sleep
It's like but all the uh mike tyson pay-per-views are free
Yeah in this house. Yeah, tell your friends five bucks if they're gonna come watch the tyson fight
All right, so you know pay-per-view we don't pay but we view
Okay, we definitely view but we don't pay
Do the right thing
was your how uh, dude my uncle joe
had a black box
and
We used to watch so much fucking wrestling
On this black box every every sunday
I used to watch mad porn dude once I discovered the spice channel. I was like
Just getting a glimpse of that channel like I'd be like oh, I'm just flicking through my mom would go into the kitchen for a second
I go right to channel 65 and I'd see bush. Yes
and spice channel was just the beginning of like
If somebody would have told me like if my future self was there the first time I watched spice
And you just like tap I would just tap myself on the shoulder should be like just wait to the shit you watch when you're 25
Yeah, you know because they it was so weird how porn back in the day was like a production
Like they had like now they just get like, you know, they rent a house in miami and they cover each other in oil
And then we fuck but like back then it was like we need kenny g to come in here and play sacks
Yeah, while we like slowly
Dance and make love at the same time. I feel like the porn budget was so big back then
Yeah, dude, they were like it was like an art form. You know what I'm saying and like you never really saw penetration
But now it's like I see people stretching their fucking assholes open. I'm like damn
I don't even want to see that it's like the evolution of like athletes
You know what I mean? It was like the mba back in the 50s and 60s. Everybody was white now
It's like everyone's just jumping out of the gym dunking and shit
That's what porno's porno that has also grown on its own as well
Yeah, like yo
Pete maravich would have got his ass kicked in the league this
Like this year, you know what I'm saying, but like
You know like you're gonna tell you're gonna tell me jenna jamison could keep up with like
Anybody these days? Yeah, like a riley reed. Do you think she could keep up a riley reed?
No, dude, no chance
I'm telling you some of these some of that is disgusting now. So like I don't understand that
A majority of it is disgusting. Yeah, you have to understand that horn is like it's sad gross
Yeah, but I'm like like I just like I just don't get when people like stretch their assholes
Yeah, and it's like I don't want to see your butthole come out
Yeah, like why is it reversing? Yeah, like this isn't doing anything for me. I'm gonna skip this
I really don't like when porn stars asses like come out and then like
It looks like a baboons
Who's that for are there people that are like, uh, yeah, dude people love that
You got a thing as as as freaky as you or I ever think that we are
There are people out there that just put us in the fucking dirt
Oh, yeah, I don't I mean I don't doubt that disgusting freaks
Yeah, I mean there's people that are into like throwing up on each other and stuff, you know like that's
Just that's a heavy day there. That's a heavy day. That's a that's a that's a night
That's a night and a half that would make me so sad
If somebody was like throw up on me it'd be like why why are you talking like this?
I would stop mid-stroke. I would stop mid-stroke and sit down. Let me talk to you
Yeah, I guess and I feel like that is it's never the first time
There's no first time for getting thrown up on for some reason either happens by accident
Yeah, it's gotta be an accident first. Yeah, and then you go let's just
Hang out in this puddle of puke. Yeah
And then you both find out that you enjoy that
But also like all the rich dudes in like Dubai like they like to shit on people or get shit on
Yeah, but they pay for that. That's different. Yeah, but I feel like once you're so rich
And you can have you remember when I had that theory where I was like you have enough sex you become gay
Yes
So I also think it's like if you have enough sex you you become like into shit
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, or even I think that's what the whole argument with like Jeffrey Epstein was and that documentary like filthy rich like
That guy's just a freak. Yeah, I mean
Well, he's on like the most extreme scale, but like I agree with you that money makes you into weird shit
once you can
Get whoever you want and pay for whatever you want not necessarily illegal stuff
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, like once you can pay for whatever you want and do whatever you want. It's like oh you see like if you're fucking uh
I don't know
Look like Leonardo DiCaprio. He has so much money. He'll just get a boat and put 25 women on it
Yeah, and women that he'll just like scroll through instagram like oh, she's kind of hot like I'll just fly her out
And she'll say yes because there's no thought like she'll just say yes
You know and bring her hottest friend also like she'll just do that. So once that becomes that easy
I guess if you'd loses it shine
So you're like what else can I do here?
And that's when you start with the porn where the girls are like stretching their butts open and like
You know putting golf balls in it
I've literally seen that before where a girl held her asshole open and a guy chipped a golf ball in it
It was a great shot and had I been watching had I been watching espn I would have been impressed
But I was like, you know half naked
So I wasn't really happy about it and I you know I've ruined everything for me that night
But the point I'm trying to make is that eventually you graduate to butthole golf and then you move on
You move on and then you regress a little bit
No, I think and then I think you start being like well
I'll get a guy in here and then like you know it starts to become a little gay stuff and then you know
Crazy shit man like then you start throwing up on each other and then like you start cutting your own
Chest and bleeding down yourself and you start using blood as lube and whatnot
Like I don't really know like the gateways, but like there's a lot of shit that happens if you have enough sex
So try to keep the sex to a healthy like
Amount because you don't know where I can lead sex is a gateway drug until like dirty sex
It's true bro like gay yo sex is a gateway drug it's a like
Crazy dirty shit, dude. I honestly feel that way. Oh my god
Like yo, I'll be like yo, there's someone out there like I think everything's possible
Like I really think there's someone out there that's like yo
Like they can't have sex unless there's like a bird in the room. You know what I'm saying like weird shit
I'm telling you man. Yeah, this whole diatribe is so fucking funny
I'm serious. I really feel this way
This is like a real theory, man
Just like you and your socks, bro. Oh my god
Oh my god the passion in your voice for this ridiculous topic was so funny
I'm not done. It's like heroin like when people do heroin for the first time and they feel that high
And they're like, oh my god, so they have to keep trying to do heroin. It's like that
It's like oh, I did a weird thing and it was dope. So now I gotta chase that or I gotta top that
Let's get a bird in here or are like all these iguanas and fucking what's it called?
I want a toucan stare me in the eyes as I come. Yeah, dude. I'm I'm sure
Holy fuck dude, you're okay. I feel great
Oh my god, dude, yeah, I really can't wait to edit this to see how long you were just talking right there
Yeah, that's gonna have it's gonna be a tough clip to cut. Oh, josh go for it, bud
Yeah, uh, but you know
It's crazy, man
And like honestly doing other people's lives kind of like
Opens my mind to the fact that like if you have thought about it
Someone else has definitely thought about it tried it and loves it and probably can't live without it
There is no original thought when it comes to sex
Yeah, it's like everyone's right. There's just modifications
Right people have tried weird stuff to the point where people are stepping on each other's balls with stilettos
Which I am not into all all ball torture shit is so fucking weird to me
Yeah, dude. No, like I'll I'll put a rubber band around my balls like but that's as far as I'll go
What about you know, you'll get shit in your ass
What you would take you would take it up the up the butt
Why would I do that? I feel like I feel like opl is gonna make you gross
I mean, I've been doing it for nine seasons. I haven't gotten banged in the bomb
Not saying banged in the bomb. I'll talk about playing in the backyard with no parental, you know guidance
Well, I mean
I mean, yeah, it's it's one thing to to like, you know
Fiddle around but it's a whole other thing to dig into my purse
What do you mean like straight get pegged or just like tap tap boop boop
Okay, getting pegged is a whole other thing that won't happen for me. I'm sorry
Not my thing
Not gonna dress you up with male parts
People would pay top dollar to peg you son. I think people would love to peg you
Why me you got like a pegable face, you know
Oh, damn it. Yeah, like people like you're you and me like on the peg market
It's like I'm a specific like
Neesh, you know what I'm saying like you have to have like you've you've had to already have pegged before
Take to want to like graduate to me like I'm like a final boss
You you're more of like a like innocent like yeah, let's just do it
But they would like love to peg you. I gotta change my face dude. I'm telling you
I gotta change everything you you would do very well in the peg market. I know
You've looked into it. No, I could just see it in your face. You have a very pegable body
I don't want to get pegged man. I wouldn't be good at it. No one would enjoy it because I'd just be complaining
Yeah, I'd be the worst dude like I'd be like the worst I would have to like, you know, I'm saying like I'd be one of those girls
That's like, you know, you gotta
It's gotta be like
There's gotta be candles. It's gotta like I would have all these like prerequisites
It'd be like the same in four-year-old virgin for his about to like jerk off
Like turn like turn all your pictures over and shit
Yeah, yeah
God this episode is getting flagged
Yeah, no, we're not yes, you know, yeah, I don't even know what I just said
I just I didn't even say a thing
What are you doing this weekend?
um
Nothing I'm just kind of chilling tomorrow. I have to run eight miles. What?
I'm trying to so what I was saying before like I
I'm
There's a queens marathon is august 1st
So I'm training for that, but I'm not training for it yet
Being like I'm gonna do it. I'm following up. It's august 1st august 1st
So I'm following a program right now because they have programs of like they tell you what to run each day
So you'll be in shape for a half marathon. So I've been following it
I've been following it and tomorrow is an eight minute eight minute an eight mile run and like
I don't know if I can run eight miles straight. I would have to slow my pace down tremendously
But if I can do that like tomorrow is gonna I'm gonna decide if I could do it or not. What's the weather like tomorrow?
It's like pretty decent. It's not gonna be super hot, but um
Bro, you like 75 you need to get a really good night's sleep
Like hydrate hydrate today. Well, yeah, I've been hydrating like crazy your pre your pre run is going to be
So fucking important
Yeah, I'm so fucking like worried about it
The other day I did four miles and then I was like I felt so good
But I was like like I could have gone further, but I was like, all right cool
But then I was also thinking about like, you know double that like how the fuck am I gonna do that? You could do it
You could do it. I'm gonna try but how do you like how do your legs feel today?
I'm okay. My body's pretty tired, but it's also because like I've just been at a caloric deficit on purpose
So I'm you gotta eat tonight. Yeah
Yeah, I have less a little less energy, but I feel fine like my body's not like super sore or anything
And when I run for the most part like I'm good
But we'll see I don't know if I can run any miles tomorrow though
Even if it's like an 11 minute pace or some shit. Yeah, and then I'm gonna sign up
That's huge because it's like four miles after that is like whatever
What's what's what time are you doing the run?
I don't know
I wish I could probably in the morning. I wish I could just follow you with a drone
Oh
Do you have a playlist set up?
Yeah, but what's the first what's the first song you're gonna listen to once you hit the road?
Oh, I don't really do that. I have a playlist and I just shuffle it. So whatever. Can we pick a song? Let's pick a song
Uh made you look is a big one for me
to start
I like to put it like I think that's like a mile four song right there
Yeah, like it's it's for me to be like
Yeah
That's the first song that should come on when you're like hurting
I this whole run needs to be like angry music for me
Because like the other day I did I did three miles and like three miles isn't that hard for me anymore
So I like to put on especially if I'm doing in the morning. I like to put on like relaxing music
Right to be like, you know, whatever
um
So I like to do that
But there's other days where I just feel like if I'm going for speed and it's going to be tougher
Then the music has to be like rougher
That's why I like made you look because that song like I get hype when that comes on
Yeah
Now let's get it all in perspective from like, oh i'm out of here. You should get the remix too with ludicrous
That's a good song. Don't stand half a chance like sigmes twins
bars um
I don't know how people exercise with no music. It's so weird to me that you could be that mentally like focused and locked in
That you'll just like run
There is something though about running that like don't make don't make no mistake
I I wouldn't be able to do it
But there have been times where I started to run and then my headphones will die
And then when my runs over like I didn't even really notice
Because it's like when you run far enough
You eventually just get in the zone and you're like, I just can't stop
So I just you don't really try to think about anything else and that's the hardest part for me
That's why the eight miles is going to be so hard. It's not really because of my body or because of like my
Lungs or anything. It's just a mental toughness to just keep going
Because I always get so bored or I feel like why am I doing this?
I don't need to do this or like, you know, whatever blah blah blah
It's like you have to get past all of that and just keep going
Yeah, but I hate that it's a part of like you have to have the physical too though
It's not just like something that you'll mentally you could do it
Right, but I feel like you I mean absolutely
But I feel like at this point like I've been running pretty consistently since the quarantine started
So I'm in like pretty good shape physically
And like I'm able I'm definitely able to run eight miles right now. It's just can I mentally
Last
Or it's like you
You know when I'm running sometimes I'll start thinking about like damn my ankle kind of hurts a little bit or
I'm starting to get a little cramp and like that stuff will psych me out
And then I can't and then I just stop or some shit, you know
You know what they say
That if you're able to sit on the floor
um
Like without using your hands and stand up without using your hands
It says like you're you're like gonna live a longer life
Can you do it? Yeah
I don't see why that's super hard. Like can you just get up any way you want without using your hands?
Well, you know, it's like indian style try to do it right now
Okay, what do I have to do? All right. So what you have to do is
You just sit indian style and stand up. You need to like squat into sitting without using your hands
So it's like, you know, you squat down into indian style, right?
Uh-huh
And then you sit and then you stand up with no hands
So you sit and you stand with no hands
But like can I like like if I'm sitting indian style
Can I like shuffle my leg out and like stand on the knee or I have to stand straight up
You gotta go straight up. All right. Well, you can't see this but I'm gonna try it. Yeah
Yeah
Tell me when you're down
That was very easy. Yeah, so that means you're gonna have like it's a it's a true thing. I heard about it
It shows about like the longevity of your life. Like that's a huge test that they do for people
I wonder why that is uh, I'm looking it up right now, but I know for a fact it's true
Um
Sitting down no hands longevity
I don't understand how anyone can't I mean unless you're like bro
There's a lot of people that can't fucking do that
But just sitting down
Is so easy. I don't know
A variation of the classic chair test
Uh, which doctors have long use to assess leg strength and lower body fitness and seniors
Uh, the test is simple to grasp if not hold up one second. I'm just trying to say why
What the fuck I'm trying to find it
It's all good, bro. How long will I live simple test?
Here it is
Middle-aged and elderly people needed to use both hands to get up
So standing up with no hands
basically
Gives a doctor
How do I put this without reading all this mobile jumbo gives a doctor a great idea in terms of where your actual physical health is
Well, I guess like if you can do that then like your hips have to be good
And you have to have like strong legs and you're not like super overweight or something because if you're super overweight getting down
Would be hard without just like crashing into the floor and then and then getting up in that way is like tough
Yeah
It's good doing it
Yeah
Right
Some people can't do that
Yeah, I'm sure that's I mean it's tough. I want to see if now that's just gonna be the challenge
I'm gonna ask how many people could that can do it. I want to see if somebody can't do it
When you go on the baseman yard radio, you make people do that. That's what I'm gonna do
Yeah, when this episode drops, I'm gonna do baseman yard radio and test everybody
Yes, for those of you who don't know our instagram is at the baseman yard
Um, and usually daniel go on and do this baseman yard radio where you kind of like reviews the episode and kind of has people on the instagram
Uh live split screen. It usually wants a week. So it's it's friday now
So it'll be it'll be tonight or tomorrow
I usually do them friday or saturday
Yeah
So baseman yard radio where there is no radio
But anyway, I think we can wrap this up
Where can they find you uh at daniel a priori on instagram and twitter and also
Uh only fans
Yeah, I have an only fan. I have an only fans now. Okay only fans.com slash daniel a priori
Jumping penis. No, no penis. It's uh, it's it's comedy based
Uh, so like I'll be having like some live q and a's on there
um
Some like sketches and like some music stuff that I'm gonna be putting out on there and it's free
Nice, so it is free. You don't have to pay
um
Just come and check out my only fans so you can follow me on only fans
And I and no one's gonna see my dick
Until sorry guys until I start charging
Yeah
You guys can follow me at joe sanagato go check out the show on uh instagram
Like I said at the baseman yard in our patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard
You get every episode a week early and you get uh the morning meeting
Every morning. So yep, that is all. See you guys next time. Bye