The Basement Yard - #247 - I Like To Get Choked

Episode Date: June 22, 2020

On this episode, we talk about weird sex stuff, our dads doing illegal things, the evolution of porn & more! Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode Welcome back to the basement yard Danny. How's it going today doing well doing well? Trying to not say good as much Why you know like oh like I'm doing good. I'm good. It's supposed to be like I'm doing well Trying to clean where I'm trying to like clean up my English and shit Why you're going on like a Royal Tea Party or some shit? No I've really had an epiphany that like I make myself sound very dumb Yeah, but then I also arrived at another epiphany that I'm actually done
Starting point is 00:00:38 So you've just been like epiphany eating all day, bro. I've had epiphanies this whole week This has been epiphany week. Yeah, you know, so you just you just been epiphanying. Yeah, I've been epiphanying All over the place. I've been epiphany. I'm at the peak of my epiphany's Yeah, so like that's what that is. Yeah, but uh, it's supposed to be oh You think you're dumb. You think you have a stupid vocabulary. I don't think I have like a stupid doodoo dumb brain What what I think is like I Choose to be Dumb when I speak at times sometimes
Starting point is 00:01:12 Right, so like I'll say like me and Joe instead of Joe and I like all the time So you think you're doing that purposefully or you just you are you dumb? I Think it started out as dumb or do you think you're so dumb that you can't even figure it out I think I'm so dumb that it's hard for me to figure out honestly like This is this is a sad thing about epiphany's because you have to take a deep look inside yourself and realize how fucking stupid you are Yeah, but you know, I just think that it started out as a joke and then evolved into actual certified dumbness Yeah, you know like um But I will say I do have a lot of like useless knowledge that makes me somewhat smart
Starting point is 00:02:02 This conversation is so dumb no it's not But I'm just saying like do you ever have days where you feel like like you'll look at yourself and be like, you know Like I'm a dumb person No, you've never had to never had a date like that. Oh, I've had I've in you know I don't feel like that now. I feel like I've you know grown out of it By the way, I'm currently doing something not like in this second But I'm currently doing something that I really don't even want to tell you about okay. That's great for the show because you All right, I'll tell you yeah, tell me tell me you can't tell anyone. I promise I promise
Starting point is 00:02:45 What do you even do I tell you tell me I'll be your best friend You remember you just offer up your best friend for secrets all the time when you were younger Yeah, and if you'll tell me I'll be your best friend and then person was like alright fine Dude the success the success rate on I'll be your best friend might be like somewhere around 88 to 92% Oh my god. Yes, dude. So I don't even offer that to my best friend Like I would tell Frankie and be like y'all be your best friend and like I'm already your best friend You're not gaining anything and then I get the secret. So I want I want the secret We all want the secret give us the goddamn secret you bitch. Give us the goddamn see give me the goddamn page. What's that from? I
Starting point is 00:03:23 Don't know. Oh, it's from a true lies. Oh true lies speaking true lies. I saw the true lies bridge remember the one That's a great scene Jamie Lee Curtis's tits in that movie. We're so Pointy. Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtitz Curtitz Was she her Mafford I I feel like I heard that that's like the big rumor that she was a math But I don't know if that's true or not
Starting point is 00:03:52 You didn't think she was her me. I mean I saw her titties Me too. I saw him numerous times also wouldn't matter Jamie Lee Curtis, especially in the true lies days. Hello Hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah Yeah, bring whatever you got it doesn't even matter dancing her ass off. Oh No, no, no do it If no one knows that movie which I'm assuming a lot of people don't like they have no idea we're talking about but all you need to know Jamie Lee Curtis tits Arnold Schwarzenegger being Arnold's Helicopters explosions all you need to do great great film laser guns and stuff. Hell yeah, cool
Starting point is 00:04:31 What was that other Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that it was like the end of the world or something? He was like, it's like he's like I'm fighting the devil Like a terminator. They're all like no, he literally fights Satan. I think I think it's called judgment something He fights the devil. He fights the devil. I Like Christmas Eve or some shit Because that's when you would fight the devil. Yeah, that's Jesus's birthday You know, he always comes out and tries to wreak havoc on his birthday. Hell, yeah, don't you're getting farther and farther away from the secret I'm not gonna let you go. Oh, yeah. No, I'm glad you said that cuz I forgot what I was saying
Starting point is 00:05:06 But you remember how I don't know if I mentioned it on this show, but like I wanted like I have an interest in like psychology or whatever Yeah, I Found out that you can take free online courses So right now I'm taking a intro to psychology class through Yale Do you know how pretentious I am going to be in the coming weeks What what was like the slight what did you need to take the class? Nothing? They didn't ask me if you went to high school or nothing. No, no, no, that's it's on a site
Starting point is 00:05:41 They they recorded like a whole semester of lectures for in 2007 and It's the intro to site class and you could just take it like they have it all on video And you just do it at your own pace and they have like a midterm exam and they have a finals exam From 2007 yeah at one point at one point in the class the guy actually said, uh, you know, there there is no Cuz he's talking about like neural transmitters and like all this shit And then he was saying there's no technology right now that can just recognize your face and I'm like, oh man We're there bud. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, we made it dude. Don't worry. You're gonna be the smartest person in
Starting point is 00:06:20 2007 in 2020 If we go back in time Like I'm in a time machine right now in 2007 and I go to Yale. Yeah, dude Like this is what's happening. You go to you know so hard. I go to Yale Honestly, I'm gonna go on their store and just buy a bunch of Yale stuff and tell people I went there I was I was gonna sign up for these classes at the University of Miami It is so expensive It's college. Yeah, I was like, this is why I didn't go to college. Well, there's other reasons, but this is didn't want to go
Starting point is 00:06:54 I was like, I don't know how kids afford this and But also beer. Yeah. Yeah beer beer. That's the craziest thing that I know that If I went to college now, I'd be good But would I? Yeah, I don't know I don't know. The attention span on you is not sick. I'm not what you say I said the attention span on you is not sick. I fell for it I feel like an idiot now. I don't know. I just been having these like that's another epiphanization that I had is that is that uh, I
Starting point is 00:07:33 Realized that like there's like other fit like if I went to school now be able to pick a major like I know what I would Want to do Yeah, but I also just have no interest in like anything else like I like psychology and that's why I'm like Oh, this would be cool to learn about it. You know, it's kind of the equivalent of like having a gun Like an audiobook playing in your ears or whatever, but you get to watch this do teach the class, you know If I had to take fucking you know 1800s art class or whatever the fuck
Starting point is 00:08:05 I don't give a fuck. I don't care the fact that Like you have prerequisites. Is that the word? Mm-hmm prerequisites It's like, why do you have to take math to like get into your major? Who gives a shit? I don't know. I don't understand my semester in college that I had an English class I got an a in it. We were learning about commas I wanted to just get in front of the class and be like guys, if you don't know commas by now pack it up
Starting point is 00:08:31 Yeah, like just go home. Yeah, what are you doing in here? We're learning about the comma. You fucking kidding me Also, why are we teaching about the semicolon? When are we using that? Never Very sparingly. Do you know do you use a semicolon? Do you know when they use a semicolon? No, I have no idea and I've been I've made it this far and I've no one's ever been like you should use a semicolon there Dude, I've never for years. I would put a just a before a vowel Instead of an Oh, yeah, but that Wait what like I would be like, uh, yeah, so I was with a
Starting point is 00:09:11 employee A. Oh, yeah, okay. An employee. I was with an elephant I mean, I get how that comes across in speech. I was with I was with a monkey That's not it. That would be the right it. Oh, yeah, right thing. Oh, yeah, that's right Do you not know vowels either? No, did you go at any class? Yes, I did. I did went to some It was cutting skinner gardens the fuck What when is why a vowel I still don't know Oh, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:09:41 I forget. Why is a vowel sometimes? I don't know when Wait, I did it. Yes. Why is a vowel sometimes unless they got rid of it like how they got rid of pluto as a planet Oh, yeah, it says the letter y can be regarded as both a vowel and a consonant Why? No, I don't know dude. I don't know how anyone learns the English language because it's like we have the same word and it's like two things That's what are those called Not acronyms What when they have
Starting point is 00:10:19 similes No, I think similes aren't like the wait. Maybe I don't know. I think it is simile like which and which Yeah, like come on like come on. I get it like you could see it. But when you're talking it's like Which which it was my second language and someone's like, you know, which one I feel like there's a witch in here That's scared for a second. You be like where where is this beach? Where's which one and also where's which two? I see you put some new art in the background. I don't know if you could see it on your camera A little bit. I mean, it's just like a three panel thing of like New York City
Starting point is 00:10:54 That's such a big thing now like panel art I'm not crazy about it because I had to hang three things Yeah, I like just hanging one thing. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I hate when furniture comes in pieces Like when my couch came and it came in pieces. I hated that whatever just happened the whole things You can't get a couch in one shot. All right through a door. Yeah, you can but another thing too is why Couches should fold Couches say that. Yeah, there should be a hinge There should be a hinge fold it up, you know, like a carrying briefcase kind of thing
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yes, or like on the technology or like how people you can get a mattress delivered to you in a suction cup box Why can't why can't you get a couch that just unfolds? Vacuum my couch into a bag that I could put in my purse. Have you seen those tiktoks of people getting vacuum sucked? What like people will sit in a trash bag and they'll put a vacuum in there and suck it till it's like skin tight Can't you die like that? Po Po looking for me probably I'm down here. You dumb idiot No, um
Starting point is 00:12:06 The thing I wanted to bring up and I and I was gonna bring it up last week But I forgot is I read this in new york post article that The government is basically saying That couples should wear mask during sex There was a new study Like doctors masks or like btsm with a zipper Around the mouth mask. See that's what I was going to get into but it says that you should wear like a doctor's mask
Starting point is 00:12:35 When you're about to smash Mask then smash I don't know dude's like my stamina is pretty good, but when I have sex like I need to breathe dude. Oh, yeah I got a breather. I need breaths Do you sweat? Oh Yeah Like an animal
Starting point is 00:12:52 I sweat easily though I could sweat right now if I like really want like if I just sit here and think about it I could start sweating. Yeah, if it gets past minutes five boys drenched. Oh, I mean, I'm I'm not like drenched But I'm definitely in there also speaking of sweat swamp ass kind of thing the other day was in the shower man The algae between my butt cheeks is growing because because it's like y'all honestly This is the first time in my life. I was like cleaning my ass and then I was like I could feel hair
Starting point is 00:13:25 Mm-hmm Because usually I've had one of those asses that like you would have to do a spread job and also like in order to see You know the hair and the forest that you know lies between Uh, but now I think it's making its way out like you're becoming a man You ever go to like a lake that you've been to all the time and then one summer you're like, damn We just made along this year. It's kind of like that Well, the thing also is like if you have
Starting point is 00:13:52 See, you know, I've recently waxed my asshole, but like Knowing that your asshole has nothing on it It's it's the first time probably since I was a baby that I had a hairless asshole I'd be worried about like Wiping like slipping like going too fast. No because like I was so slick like a barbie's ass See, I thought that now I'm in like Like day like five or six so like I could feel like uh, it's it's not as As slippery as it used to be now. There's like some tension there. You know, I mean traction traction
Starting point is 00:14:26 I said tension of course. There's tension friction some friction But uh, I would have thought my asshole would be way itchier than it is now, but it's not Thank god, dude. That would be terrible. Have you had a moment at all wearing a mask in public where you're like, okay? This is that I'm gonna pass out and die I tried to wear a mask on one of my runs once And I was like I this is gonna I know the mask is like You know, I'm trying to prevent from getting other people's sake or whatever, but I'm gonna die I'm gonna pass out. I can't breathe everything suffocate
Starting point is 00:14:59 It's like being suffocated I can't wear it for more than like 10 minutes like I've left stores because I couldn't breathe because I'm breathing in just like carbon dioxide Is that the right one? You are correct. Yes You know what's on netflix now fucking jeopardy Dude, I've been watching jeopardy. They have like those three. They have it like they don't even have seasons They have three people that were dominant will have all their episodes something wilson, right? I don't know. There's that one fat white dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah with the glasses. So he's like
Starting point is 00:15:33 He's like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh god. Yo, Alex Trebek is low key a fucking asshole. Yeah, he is a dick Alex Trebek is like low key One of those kids in high school. I was like fucking nerd because he'll we have to interview everyone after that first round He's like, so what do you do and some woman's just like, you know, I actually like to collect nail polish and he's like Fucking gay Like he always makes like a comment like that. That's like we it's so funny Like that one famous one that went viral and he was just he's like
Starting point is 00:16:05 So so losers like she was like, you know the type of people that do that. He's like, yeah losers He literally says that I think he accidentally like did it with like a indian person once too Or like or like an asian person and it was like an asian or indian question And he was like, oh that one hurts Like it's tough to like not get that one. I was just like, oh, alex Yeah, it's like, uh, mom and dad are gonna be mad about that. All right. You got 500 I wonder if people are actually really practicing though like this Safest approach they said the safest approach sexual activity is not having any I hate that I hate when people say that
Starting point is 00:16:45 I know it's like that's the thing you say to like second graders like your first sex ed class or whatever Yeah, it's like what a teacher like puts their hands on their knees and like gets down to like eye level with you and tells you that Yeah, it's like the best way to not have an std. It said not have sex And then I hate that other thing. It's like, hey when you're gonna talk to children get on your knees and talk to them in their eyes I'm like All right, they're like I'm like, it's a little weird though. No, like I'm gonna turn myself into a half person to have a conversation with this person That's not even gonna remember this conversation
Starting point is 00:17:20 You know what I mean Yeah, I mean also I got bad knees I just don't I just don't want to make I contact the children that hard. I don't want to stare into a children's face It's not for me. It's not for me. I don't know The last time I looked at a child's eyes That wasn't a baby Yeah, babies look at you because they're still trying to figure out the world and they want to know like what's going on
Starting point is 00:17:48 But i'm saying like a fucking six-year-old I haven't made eye contact with a six-year-old in maybe years dude. You're going to love it I haven't dude. I haven't There's not a whole bunch of six-year-olds in this neighborhood No, no, no, and if you got down on your knees and started talking to one someone would probably call the authorities Yeah, I'd be you know, I'd be in uh, I'd be booked in a minute for that. Do you think you completely Uh, ejaculate While wearing a doctor's mask. This can't happen. I mean we have to have something in between these conversations. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:18:22 That's right. Yeah, I forgot children. You can't say get on a knee talk to a child and then you're like do you think you could ejaculate? I know I was going but yeah, all right So, uh, what were you going to say? I was going to say can you think you could fully ejaculate with a doctor's mask on? And then also your other your partner is wearing a mask Dude, I could ejaculate with a helmet like anything on Also, I heard that when you were like suffocating and coming it's more fire. Yeah erotic
Starting point is 00:18:51 asphyxiation I can't pronounce that without you know Almost gagging like the creation this shows you how dumb I was and I think this is Contributes to how stupid I am um I used to wrap a sock around my neck And jerk off no not jerk off Uh, I used to When I was little this is a true story just get to it
Starting point is 00:19:21 I would just I would wrap a sock around my neck until I would almost pass out Because it would make you for no reason. Yeah, because it would make your head feel like all like like tingly and stuff Ask any ask ask my brother mike ask anybody for some reason they would just sit around and watch you almost kill yourself They stopped me. They stopped me. They were like, yo, what are you doing? I was like, I don't know. It just feels good I Thought you were wrapping that sock around your neck and then beating it No, no, no, no because the sock would go this way and you would have to hold it with two hands Yeah, people are gonna think this is made up and that's perfectly fine, but it's 100 true
Starting point is 00:20:03 I almost want to call my brother mike and ask him, but I know he won't answer How big were these socks? They were just like I think they were my dad's socks tubes tubes. Yeah. Yeah, my dad was a tube guy Yeah, my dad was a tube guy too. Yeah, it was a tube guy, but yeah, my dad has never worn socks that don't go up past your path Seriously, yeah, I don't know what it was. It was like a month thing That for a month of your life. You were just decided you're gonna try and suffocate yourself I was addicted to like wrapping a sock around my neck. I don't know what that was I want to go into erotic expectation. No, I don't think I could dude. I'm too fucking hypo Like too hypo for that
Starting point is 00:20:42 I guess My kid wraps sock around his neck. I think I looked up an article on it. You're googling it this You could have just wrote person. You didn't have to throw children into the mix. You got some weird articles, you know Might want a backspace that for the fbi comes knocking I don't know what it is. I don't know it was like, uh, remember the pass out game where you make your friends pass out and Shit, I've seen that happen and I was like, I remember thinking this is incredibly fucking stupid Yeah, so like it was basically like doing that to yourself to the brink of not passing out So basically I was just like brain coming. I think
Starting point is 00:21:20 No, I think you were just stupid I wonder if that had any impact on like how like my brain is now. Oh, yeah, dude. You think uh Would you do uh, uh all uh june 2012 I choked myself I think I was in june 2012. Yeah, so he was 23 years old No, no, no, I think uh, I think I was around like 12. I think I was around like Yeah, 11 or 12 fifth or sixth grade Wait 12. You're like in eighth grade. No, you're you're 13 when you're in eighth grade
Starting point is 00:21:59 Fifth grade your fifth grade your tenth sixth grade. You're 11 But yeah, so for some reason I was just I don't know what was going on I was and then I remember I told my dad about and he flipped out Oh, yeah, he's probably like what was my son doing? Yeah, he's like this fucking freak just brain numbing himself downstairs Dude, I also now that we're kind of sort of talking about this. It kind of fits into We recorded an episode of other people's lives talking to this girl that likes to be hurt during sex And boy when she says hurt she means it Because the choking thing that you're saying where it's like where I was kind of saying like, you know people like to
Starting point is 00:22:38 You know try to suffocate and then come at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah There's like that and she went over like these two different ways to choke people Is it was it like the the the on the bed frame? Like what are you doing with like uh like uh Not with a belt, but it's like with like a sheet What the fuck are you talking about nevermind you're choking someone with a sheet No, now I now I now I need to know no This sounds like you are attempting murder on someone. No, no, no, no
Starting point is 00:23:14 Wait, you wait. What are you talking about the headboard in a sheet? So, you know how the headboard has pegs, right? Yeah, like people would wrap a sheet around that And like put it around their neck so the person The male underneath can tighten it around their throat while they're having sex I've literally never seen that in my life. Yeah, it's a thing Well, yeah, but you've made it seem like it was just like a standard way to choke someone No, I just think I thought I thought that was No, all right go on usually you just use your fucking hands
Starting point is 00:23:50 Nah, the fuck this is building a blanket fort choking contraption the fuck Well, there's pretty nice out. Yeah, so wait, are you building contraptions? I'm not anymore So you've contrapped no someone contrapped me You were contrapped. I was contrapped by a sheet on a headboard. Yes So and you must have loved that because little sock boy, this is like even better, right? That's why I didn't want to bring it up because this is probably why it happened So you like to be choked. No You like to you hate breathing. You're here. You have asthma. I have asthma. I
Starting point is 00:24:32 I was a jewel head Yeah, you just hate breath. You know, I just hate breathing. I just want my breathing to be difficult Yeah, choking during sex is very very sexual and very very hot and very very intimate and very very I feel like you become one when you do that There's and it's called breath play. You know, I'm just I'm just gonna tell the story. All right It was very early on in my sexual career. I was like 19 years old. All right And this person was like, you know, I like To get choked, right and there's this scene from this movie
Starting point is 00:25:09 It's like Shakespeare and love or some shit where Like somebody gets like choked with like a bed sheet And this person wanted to try it on me and on that person. So I was like, okay Um, oh, so you guys contracted each other. Yeah. We have we yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah took turns contrapting. Right, right So it was I was like 19. I didn't know what I was doing Um, I thought I did I thought it was sexy
Starting point is 00:25:38 Not sexy at all Yeah, borderline. Let's just kill each other That's what it was very dexter very dexter very dexter and it was very strange So now that's why I thought that was the normal way to do it now. You got it out with me I didn't want I don't want people to think I'm a disgusting freak You are but yeah, did you so were you contrapting? It was like a pulley system it was like wrapped around our hands and like we would like oh, yeah It's like a dumb waiter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was like you like I felt like I was like drawing open a curtain
Starting point is 00:26:13 I felt like a fucking I felt like human like I was like I turned a human into a puppet Like I could make her dance like she couldn't breathe or dance Remember that board game mousetrap where like you'd flick a marble and then all this shit would happen That's exactly what it was. Yeah, right. That's a contraption game. That's a contraption game. It's a great game Yeah, we would close the door and then like everything would come into place. So that was early on Did you like try to contrapt Other people along the way. No, I just had a bad. I just had a bad experience. Nothing about it was sexual. It was just hurting
Starting point is 00:26:45 Right, so we didn't do it right We just like I'm saying like we we attempted to kill each other. That's what it was That's kind of hot. Yeah, it's pretty hot This girl who we talked to on opl said that she likes to get smacked and like She said six times out of ten when she gets slapped. She'll orgasm Yeah, I mean that makes sense, so Yeah, I mean no Yeah, but she said that and I was like, how hard are we talking like because like, you know, I'm saying you give someone like a little like
Starting point is 00:27:17 Fucking bitch. Yeah Or And what she said it's like a man well for our special She got slapped like You know just an insane slap. I mean she said that she had bruising on her face and they were like Uh, you know spaces in between so you could see the fingers It was like like this like you get bruised here and here and there would be a space
Starting point is 00:27:42 Because that's how hard she got hit. Can you imagine what it looked like when this dude? She's like hit me and he was just like Fucking slapped the shit out of her like I'm afraid to slap this thing I would have sent it flying but like with fucking LeBron like chasing down Igudala. Oh my god Dude literally pinned her face off the backboard and she was just like by James Yeah, slapped a shit out of her. I was like you must have loved that then and she was like, yeah I don't know what it is that Pain is sexy in the bedroom, but it is
Starting point is 00:28:17 It is not because I think it's animalistic too. It should be like Yeah, like like other animal like they nibble each other and shit they bite each other when they fuck or whatever I don't I'm basing that on no knowledge Which is most of my stuff based on life Yeah, yeah, yeah, but no, it's true. I think it's animalistic to just be like I want to just We have always pent up like emotion or whatever and you just want to get it out somehow usually that comes with some sort of like violent act You know, it's not always like hold on. Let's set up a quick experiment here to choke each other
Starting point is 00:28:52 Yeah, that that's that took a little more like, you know, we had like contractors come in and try and figure this out I had a hard head on Yeah, you had to get a permit from the city. Yeah, I had a fucking protractor and shit. I was like trying to figure it out Once you get the angles down, it's very easy No, it was because we saw this movie and they did it in a movie and we tried to do it Why are you guys watching a shakespearian love story together because I didn't want to watch that shit So this girl it's a movie with Heather Graham That's great. That's all I remember
Starting point is 00:29:25 Damn, that's weird. She was like, I want to try that and I was like, okay And that's weird. I don't think I've ever had a sexual experience where someone's like, I really want to try this thing Oh, that's awesome but not like it's Because your sounds there's like how long were you guys like together? Um a while or no Because that's what I mean, I mean like someone just be like, oh, I'm into this It was like two or three months, but like I knew that I knew them for a while Gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just you know, I don't know
Starting point is 00:30:01 Yeah, it wasn't hasn't been some things along the road, but there's never been a thing where I was like, what is this? You know or like we need to get, you know I don't think that that started I don't think that starts in a person's life until like maybe like their mid 20s Because I feel like you have to get like all like the like the basics the prerequisites the prerequisite prerequisite prerequisites out of the way Bang get the prereq the prereq sex out and then that's when you kind of start to discover like hey, man Like I want someone to throw me through a fucking wall. Like, you know, I want someone to you know
Starting point is 00:30:35 Call me names bullying me. Yeah, I want someone to give me the fucking rock bottom like like before I come or whatever So like I like I get that Spit my face. Yeah people's elbow, whatever peeing peeing is a big thing and um peeing peeing is a very common fetish Common yes It's not more common than the foot. I mean I see the foot everywhere. Well the foot fetish is crazy
Starting point is 00:31:02 But like that's that's more of a I'm talking about doing one to a partner You just you like pissing on people. Yeah, but there's also guys out there that just like to fuck like they'll hold feet together and fuck feet Yeah, that's not cool What about titty fucking That's awesome. That's cool. But it's also not like it's awesome to like In theory, it's so awesome. You know, yeah, but you gotta because when you actually do it it's kind of like This was cooler when I was thinking about it
Starting point is 00:31:35 Titty fucking is always cooler than actual titty fucking but it also depends like if you're titty fucking with no like no one's talking Then that's that's just weird I think having sex without talking is so strange There's some people that do that like if if you're not if you're not like calling someone like borderline like horrible names Like what are you doing? But not only that but like just not saying anything of like You know, well, even if it's a little weirder
Starting point is 00:32:03 What would be weirder if like Because I I have also tend to you know, go to the more aggressive side when it comes to that talk. Yeah, but What's weirder? No talk at all or the like I love you so much Kind of stuff. Um, I literally couldn't deal with that. I really couldn't Well, I think I don't mind like The word love in there, but you have to say like you have to say like you love like something like other than me Don't love me No, I don't even mind that I I mean like it just being this like
Starting point is 00:32:40 Cute thing. Oh just like make love. Just be like, I love you so much. You're just so pretty in this a lot What the fuck? It's so that's so weird. No, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like if there's like a giggle during sex Like that's weird. It's like I love you so much like I mean too But it's like if you're like If you're just like hitting it in your forehead fighting And you're just like fucking love you and then like I fucking love you too. And it's just like that I fucking love you I think it's hot. I think that's really hot. No, yeah, just you got you got to say it aggressively
Starting point is 00:33:24 You can't say it like you're like reciting a haiku in front of the third grade class. You know what I'm saying, right? You can't be like Yeah, I just say You can't say it cute like that because you only get so many opportunities Throughout the day to talk like that and sex is one of them. Why not? Because I hate how there's this whole like distinction between like making love and fucking like you can fucking make love Oh, yeah, you know what I'm saying like Fucking is making love. I don't care if you guys are getting each other off. Like that's just that's just what you got to do
Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah, and sometimes it gets so like aggressive that when it's finally over you're just like emotional Yeah, dude. It's like I love this person more like we just ravaged each other. You know what I'm saying Yeah, it's like damn. Yeah, we just went to battle and no one won It's just a clash. It's just a clash of titans It's a clash of the titans, man, you know, that's that's what the best thing About it is is that you know, it's all fun and games. You know what I'm saying This girl sounds like she just likes to get the shit beat out of her Yeah, yeah, you know, it's part of it too
Starting point is 00:34:31 But I think that also she has that same thing because she told me and like I lost my mind She said that her boyfriend Was like edging her for a month And for those of you who don't know what that means It means that you get someone right to the point where they're about to orgasm and then you stop So her boyfriend didn't let her orgasm for a month and then finally let her and I was like, what happened to you? I actually told her I was like, I'm surprised you're alive. Can you imagine that? I couldn't imagine that
Starting point is 00:34:58 I don't I can't edge for two days. I've been trying to do this thing with uh this uh What I haven't I haven't been trying to edge but Like it's like, you know, I'm you have to like when you take a uh a sperm test You have to abstain for like 10 days or something Okay, for like max like for like maximum effort I'm jacking this thing. Yeah, I know you're not you're not
Starting point is 00:35:26 You know, you know, like I'm gonna be 10 days. They're asking a lot of like I'm gonna send it in and be like, hey guys, sorry And then just like and like give it to them. But like, you know, it's it's When's the last time do you think didn't you do no not november once or we tried to but you made it like nine days And I made it like Four minutes. I did it two years ago It wasn't no not november. It was just like a random month. I like had a bet with uh a med Oh, and he like bailed out after like nine days. Yeah, that sounds like a med
Starting point is 00:36:00 Did you uh, did you just like pop a fire rope after? Not it wasn't it's not like it builds up to the point where it's like This thing if you like hold out for a year, it's gonna be spectacular. Dude. I don't know man. If it goes a couple days Shaking well, yeah I know but it doesn't get like bigger Like it gets to a certain point. No, there's more there's more of volume Right, but I'm saying like if you wait like five days and then you wait 15 days
Starting point is 00:36:33 There's not a whole lot of difference there. Yeah, I I get that but like a part of me we want to know like like What's the do it on a scale? Yeah, like I just want to see it and just be like, oh my god Because that's like that's like popping champagne now. I think about it That's a great celebration after 30 days of no nut And then you just get to pop the top Yeah, think about that. That's wildly insane You get to do whatever you want and by do whatever you want. I mean shoot a huge rope
Starting point is 00:37:05 Yeah, but also I heard that women's orgasms are like way more intense and they're longer Yeah, because that shit's internal Yeah, it's like inside And it's like connected to You know, I'll I'll take that class next. Yeah, I'll learn more about that But right now all I have is that they're longer. So can you imagine just waiting out? And then fucking setting it off I'm surprised this girl didn't go blind in an eye just fucking scribbler town
Starting point is 00:37:39 Yeah, just like Just lose your minds That might that might be the most Sexual 20 minutes we've ever had on the show. Yeah, that was kind of intense I'm a little horny too. A little dude. I'm gonna have to take a break after this. I literally feel like I need to like Like what the do you hear this? Wait, is there digging? No, there's some dude out here just like Starting up a goddamn race car
Starting point is 00:38:17 All right, I'll think that'll fix the post Yeah, I'll uh I'm gonna get to these ads real quick and then we'll jump into something. I actually have something I want to talk to you about me too Why do you always say it like that fucking scare me every time you say that every time you say something like that? I feel like you're gonna fire me on the air I want to talk to you about something by the way. See you there's something I want I need to talk to you about I'm like great come into my office later. I need to speak to you
Starting point is 00:38:43 Okay at the end of the day And bring a cardboard box of your things Um, all right starting off the ads with better help better help is online counseling You know, if you want to talk to a therapist Licensed professionals who specialize in depression stress anxiety relationships or anything like that They have them on better help. Uh, if you're not happy with your counselor for any reason you can request a new one at any time No additional charge There's four communication modes. You could text
Starting point is 00:39:12 Chat phone or video And you could start communicating under 24 hours So yeah, you can go to betterhelp.com slash yard And uh, you will get 10 off your first month with the discount code yard Okay, so if you want to start talking to someone trying out therapy Me and danny are both in therapy. We find it to be very helpful. Um, so go to better help dot com slash yard Use the discount discount code yard for 10 off your first month. Okay Next we have
Starting point is 00:39:43 Handy and handy is the leading platform for connecting individuals looking for household services with top quality service professionals So if you need someone to Fuck what the hell was that goddamn dude a fucking huge cockroaches came out from under this fridge God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry You know, you could use Someone to help you clean that dirty apartment that has cockroaches by using handy Okay
Starting point is 00:40:14 Handy, um, you can go on handy get someone to come over to clean your apartment to hang up things or to help you with any sort Of handyman work. Um But yeah, it's been connecting people to professional house cleaning and other home services since 2012 Um, I've used it in the past. Uh, the the guy who Um, you know comes and cleans my apartment is through handy. Um, but yeah, so Oh For our listeners handy has a special limited time offer you get your first three hour cleaning for only $29 when you sign up for a cleaning plan go to handy dot com slash basement and enter the promo code basement
Starting point is 00:40:54 That's a three hour home cleaning for $29. They are deep cleaning You could put in that like I need you to do the windows do the fridge inside the fridge the oven everything Whatever you need they will handle it. Um handy dot com slash basement Enter the promo code basement and three hour cleaning for $29 with a cleaning plan at handy dot com slash basement Okay, uh terms and conditions apply visit handy's website for more information. Um, but yeah handy the most reliable name in household cleaning All right, Danny. How you doing over there? Next we have liquid iv uh liquid iv is an easy healthy solution for dehydration. I've been using it a lot because I've been running a lot lately Sort of training
Starting point is 00:41:37 For a half marathon, but not really don't know if I can actually do it But if I get to a certain point where I'm like All right, I can run eight miles and maybe I could do a half marathon that I'm gonna do it But it's been super humid in New York So staying hydrated is going to be super important when I'm going on these long runs liquid iv kind of helps with that Instead of drinking all this water and whatever I can have a liquid iv and uh, it's packed with vitamins b3 b5 b6 and b12 and um It actually hydrates you quicker
Starting point is 00:42:05 And one of these servings provides the same hydration as two to three bottles of water alone So saving me time and uh, they taste amazing too. They have three flavors. Uh, right now. I'm crushing The passion fruit or was it called the something passion berry? I don't know something passionate It's passionate and it's great the lemon lime. We've me and Danny have tried before it's also good That's my favorite and then there's the acai berry is the other one Which I don't even know if I've had that one yet, but the passion fruits fire Um liquid iv is available nationwide target Whole Foods Costco But you can go to liquid iv.com use the code basement at checkout
Starting point is 00:42:44 Uh, 20 25 off anything you order when you use the promo code basement at liquid iv.com Uh, but yeah, use the promo code basement 25 off get hydrated. Okay I apologize. I'm I was I'm very flustered I get yeah, I could tell you scared the shit out of me scared the shit out of you Yeah, the worst thing is when you see them out of the corner of your eye and you know It's there, but you have to turn and see it and I was like god damn and when I jumped up he bounced Well, you already you already know what happened when we saw a cockroach in my old apartment Oh, that clip has been documented. It's based on your history guys. Why are they so gross?
Starting point is 00:43:20 They fly down here. They fly down here Ew, they fly dude Floridian roaches I've been what I've been watching this guy kill iguanas on youtube from south florida When I tell you first of all seeing an iguana run Is the craziest thing the way they run is so funny. They're like Back and forth. Yeah, like this This guy killed a iguana. Why do you kill iguanas? Are they're not even dangerous? Are they dangerous?
Starting point is 00:43:53 They're considered like rats down here Iguanas. Yes, they're considered they ruin Like crops and shit like that's their like you can kill them With no punishment down here I couldn't even kill an iguana. It's too big for me to like, you know be able to stay. What do you do? Are you cut its head off? Yeah, you either like cut its head off or shoot it with a BB gun like people kill them all the time down here Murderers Well, it's legal here
Starting point is 00:44:21 But yeah, like even a mouse. I can't like step on it I gotta like get a trap. I've killed the rat. I think I've told that story sick person No, I know you told me you like picked it up and you grabbed it or something Yeah, I picked it. No, I picked it up by its tail and smashed it Yeah, you're just you're a sick sick person. No, it was in my house rats are pests There's a difference between pests and animals. I'm sorry Of course rodents are disgusting. I'm not gonna pick my fucking dog up and swing him around like a goddamn, you know Pinata bat, but like, you know
Starting point is 00:44:53 If there's something in my house that's not supposed to be there like a cockroach Or a rat or an iguana at this point. I'll I'll take I'll tell I'll go there. I'll go to the brink with you Why can't these things that pop up in our house be cute things? It would just be like a puppy just being like, oh my god a puppy and then you'd be like, oh, this is actually kind of nice It's a puppy here. It's like it's gotta be a roach. It's gotta be a roach but it's Some people find roaches like not threatening which is wild to me Like people like have a they'll have a roach and they'll think like, oh, hey, like this is an animal. Oh my god
Starting point is 00:45:32 Yeah, hi And i'm good. Thank you. You're the most jumpy man right now What happened? Housekeeping just came in here Oh my god. God dudes. Can I can I just work? But I'm trying to get afraid. I gotta cut it all over this episode now Getting scared and shit. God. Anyway, sorry. Fuck Talk about something
Starting point is 00:46:05 I'm gonna go back to back scared. Yo, just out the top row both times. All right, you know what I'm gonna do for you I'm gonna blow your mind. All right blow it Oh Talk to me nice. All right. Um, did you know It's impossible to hum while pinching your nose Like closing off your Wait, hold on. Let me see some hold on Bro with your mouth closed
Starting point is 00:46:43 Oh It popped my ears Yeah, because the air needs to escape in order to be a hum. You can only hum for a certain amount and then it explodes your mouth Your mouth's open you cheating bitch Close your mouth Oh my god, I almost passed out. Is it weird? Is it possible to like keep your eyes open when you sneeze too? Is that it or is that a myth? Can you yo, I would be so intimidated if you're just like staring at someone and they sneezed and they didn't even blink
Starting point is 00:47:17 I'd be like god damn dude. Like you're a gangster. Can I ask you a question about uh old youtube? I've been watching a lot of ed bass master uh-huh um Was he around like the same era as you? Yeah, so you guys did you guys were ever any like correspondence? No But he was a gigantic like youtuber. He's huge
Starting point is 00:47:40 Yeah, and I was not so like we would never be you were you had two million followers That was like three two years ago, dude. We're talking about like in 2012 He was big 2013 14 whatever bro His bits are some of the funniest ever on youtube. I think yeah, he's fucking hilarious. Would you look at it mumbles? Testy always testy one of my favorite guys ever Yeah And one of my other favorite ones is putting you on the news What?
Starting point is 00:48:13 What if I'm putting you on the news? Oh I'm putting you on the news. So like Who were who's like the on the mount rushmore of youtube? The mount rushmore of youtube uh me, you know Uh jenna marbles has to be up there. Okay um, I would say Ryan hega
Starting point is 00:48:38 Don't know who that is. He's a he was a gigantic youtuber and like I'm only putting him on the mount rushmore because I think like he Was gigantic at a time You know and like he kind of was like the og at like creating these like sketches and was like super successful at it Okay, so I would put him up there um Marbles hega Yeah, I don't know. I don't know those two stand out in my mind because when I was like first starting like they stood out as like
Starting point is 00:49:08 Jenna did this thing and she was like the only one who was super successful at it And then he did the sketch thing and he was like the one that stood out to me the most And then I guess you would have to put like I don't know bro. You know, honestly, you might have to put like logan paul on there Yeah Because although people like don't like him, but it's like yo this dude like crushes Yeah, he crushes and he kind of created this
Starting point is 00:49:37 Thing oh kasey nice that's up there for sure. Oh, yeah kasey. I forgot about kasey. Yeah kasey is definitely up there Um, but yeah, I think you might put logan paul up there. That's a that's a that's a powerful mount more like That's a good four Yeah, definitely definitely for me like kasey's there and so is fucking jenna Like those are the two that are locked for me um But yeah, you might you could throw logan in there. I think just because like Who's bigger than him?
Starting point is 00:50:08 On youtube in the modern day like no one. No one. No. No, you're right So he'd probably have to be there and how long has youtube been up? Dude, I have no idea. Was it around like 12 years ago. Do you remember the first youtube video you've ever seen? Yes So do I what's yours mine? It was uh Uh, what's the what's the call when the hamster turns around? All right, it's like the evil hamster. It's like That was your first video. That was like my first video. Yeah, bro. My first video on youtube ever Was a video of the evolution of dance. That was the first one I ever saw
Starting point is 00:50:46 Oh, that was a big one. That was a big viral video. Yeah, um, the first video I ever saw was a video of a monkey Right and he's sitting on a branch and someone's filming him like with a home video or whatever and he uh Is just sitting there and then he digs into his ass right And then he takes two fingers and puts them under his nose to smell it and then he just falls off the branch
Starting point is 00:51:11 Sort of god Dude, I'm gonna try and google it so that people can watch this if they haven't seen it because it's a great video But it was the first video I saw and I was like, oh my god, youtube is awesome I need to know what you're watching before that. It was like ebombs world, right? Yeah, look funny monkey faints after smelling his own ass But this says it was uploaded eight years ago, but that's definitely not true Because I saw this video. I almost want to send it to you, but I don't want to like it's 22 seconds Yeah, look, he's digging in his ass. He literally puts two fingers inside of his ass smells it and he goes, oh
Starting point is 00:51:46 Monkey smells ass fingers No Yep, I got it Yeah, dude, look at how he passes out. It must have smelled. Oh, that's a big monkey Oh, yeah, it's a oh no, no, no, no, okay All right, he's fingering his ass now watch he passes It's an amazing video Oh man, now it's showing me monkeys react to magic. I love watching monkeys react to things. It's one of my favorite things
Starting point is 00:52:18 I've never seen that. You've never seen a monkey react to magic? No, I didn't know magician's going to the zoo and like pick a card. Yeah, like they do card tricks and they're like Like they'll literally be like, oh my god, like where is it? It's wild. Damn. Oh, so There was something I told you I want to talk about dads We both had kind of like, you know blue collar dads You know, yeah Who are always yeah. Yeah, tube sock dads
Starting point is 00:52:51 um Have you ever really just thought about like back in the day how many like borderline illegal things our dads would do Like not being the mafia or like kill anyone but like my dad would drive with like a suspended license Yes, dude, you know what i'm saying and like every time they would get pulled over they would be like You know, hey coming back that your license is suspended and you'd be like, what are you talking about? Since when completely knew his license was suspended the entire time Was just gonna my dad at one point was just going to go through the rest of his life with a suspended license He just didn't get it renewed. No
Starting point is 00:53:35 Wait, why was it suspended or did it expire? It expired and then okay I think after a while they suspend your license because you have to like after a certain amount of time I think you have to retake the test and you didn't want to retake the test So his license got suspended and he knew it and my dad was just driving around with a suspended license Yeah, we had a legal cable Remember a legal cable. Yeah legal cable It's like our dads are like these like beacons of like listen, you got to do the right thing
Starting point is 00:54:04 All right, now i'm gonna watch the spice channel when you go to sleep It's like but all the uh mike tyson pay-per-views are free Yeah in this house. Yeah, tell your friends five bucks if they're gonna come watch the tyson fight All right, so you know pay-per-view we don't pay but we view Okay, we definitely view but we don't pay Do the right thing was your how uh, dude my uncle joe had a black box
Starting point is 00:54:29 and We used to watch so much fucking wrestling On this black box every every sunday I used to watch mad porn dude once I discovered the spice channel. I was like Just getting a glimpse of that channel like I'd be like oh, I'm just flicking through my mom would go into the kitchen for a second I go right to channel 65 and I'd see bush. Yes and spice channel was just the beginning of like If somebody would have told me like if my future self was there the first time I watched spice
Starting point is 00:55:00 And you just like tap I would just tap myself on the shoulder should be like just wait to the shit you watch when you're 25 Yeah, you know because they it was so weird how porn back in the day was like a production Like they had like now they just get like, you know, they rent a house in miami and they cover each other in oil And then we fuck but like back then it was like we need kenny g to come in here and play sacks Yeah, while we like slowly Dance and make love at the same time. I feel like the porn budget was so big back then Yeah, dude, they were like it was like an art form. You know what I'm saying and like you never really saw penetration But now it's like I see people stretching their fucking assholes open. I'm like damn
Starting point is 00:55:40 I don't even want to see that it's like the evolution of like athletes You know what I mean? It was like the mba back in the 50s and 60s. Everybody was white now It's like everyone's just jumping out of the gym dunking and shit That's what porno's porno that has also grown on its own as well Yeah, like yo Pete maravich would have got his ass kicked in the league this Like this year, you know what I'm saying, but like You know like you're gonna tell you're gonna tell me jenna jamison could keep up with like
Starting point is 00:56:11 Anybody these days? Yeah, like a riley reed. Do you think she could keep up a riley reed? No, dude, no chance I'm telling you some of these some of that is disgusting now. So like I don't understand that A majority of it is disgusting. Yeah, you have to understand that horn is like it's sad gross Yeah, but I'm like like I just like I just don't get when people like stretch their assholes Yeah, and it's like I don't want to see your butthole come out Yeah, like why is it reversing? Yeah, like this isn't doing anything for me. I'm gonna skip this I really don't like when porn stars asses like come out and then like
Starting point is 00:56:56 It looks like a baboons Who's that for are there people that are like, uh, yeah, dude people love that You got a thing as as as freaky as you or I ever think that we are There are people out there that just put us in the fucking dirt Oh, yeah, I don't I mean I don't doubt that disgusting freaks Yeah, I mean there's people that are into like throwing up on each other and stuff, you know like that's Just that's a heavy day there. That's a heavy day. That's a that's a that's a night That's a night and a half that would make me so sad
Starting point is 00:57:30 If somebody was like throw up on me it'd be like why why are you talking like this? I would stop mid-stroke. I would stop mid-stroke and sit down. Let me talk to you Yeah, I guess and I feel like that is it's never the first time There's no first time for getting thrown up on for some reason either happens by accident Yeah, it's gotta be an accident first. Yeah, and then you go let's just Hang out in this puddle of puke. Yeah And then you both find out that you enjoy that But also like all the rich dudes in like Dubai like they like to shit on people or get shit on
Starting point is 00:58:03 Yeah, but they pay for that. That's different. Yeah, but I feel like once you're so rich And you can have you remember when I had that theory where I was like you have enough sex you become gay Yes So I also think it's like if you have enough sex you you become like into shit Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, or even I think that's what the whole argument with like Jeffrey Epstein was and that documentary like filthy rich like That guy's just a freak. Yeah, I mean Well, he's on like the most extreme scale, but like I agree with you that money makes you into weird shit once you can
Starting point is 00:58:40 Get whoever you want and pay for whatever you want not necessarily illegal stuff You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like once you can pay for whatever you want and do whatever you want. It's like oh you see like if you're fucking uh I don't know Look like Leonardo DiCaprio. He has so much money. He'll just get a boat and put 25 women on it Yeah, and women that he'll just like scroll through instagram like oh, she's kind of hot like I'll just fly her out And she'll say yes because there's no thought like she'll just say yes You know and bring her hottest friend also like she'll just do that. So once that becomes that easy
Starting point is 00:59:11 I guess if you'd loses it shine So you're like what else can I do here? And that's when you start with the porn where the girls are like stretching their butts open and like You know putting golf balls in it I've literally seen that before where a girl held her asshole open and a guy chipped a golf ball in it It was a great shot and had I been watching had I been watching espn I would have been impressed But I was like, you know half naked So I wasn't really happy about it and I you know I've ruined everything for me that night
Starting point is 00:59:36 But the point I'm trying to make is that eventually you graduate to butthole golf and then you move on You move on and then you regress a little bit No, I think and then I think you start being like well I'll get a guy in here and then like you know it starts to become a little gay stuff and then you know Crazy shit man like then you start throwing up on each other and then like you start cutting your own Chest and bleeding down yourself and you start using blood as lube and whatnot Like I don't really know like the gateways, but like there's a lot of shit that happens if you have enough sex So try to keep the sex to a healthy like
Starting point is 01:00:13 Amount because you don't know where I can lead sex is a gateway drug until like dirty sex It's true bro like gay yo sex is a gateway drug it's a like Crazy dirty shit, dude. I honestly feel that way. Oh my god Like yo, I'll be like yo, there's someone out there like I think everything's possible Like I really think there's someone out there that's like yo Like they can't have sex unless there's like a bird in the room. You know what I'm saying like weird shit I'm telling you man. Yeah, this whole diatribe is so fucking funny I'm serious. I really feel this way
Starting point is 01:01:02 This is like a real theory, man Just like you and your socks, bro. Oh my god Oh my god the passion in your voice for this ridiculous topic was so funny I'm not done. It's like heroin like when people do heroin for the first time and they feel that high And they're like, oh my god, so they have to keep trying to do heroin. It's like that It's like oh, I did a weird thing and it was dope. So now I gotta chase that or I gotta top that Let's get a bird in here or are like all these iguanas and fucking what's it called? I want a toucan stare me in the eyes as I come. Yeah, dude. I'm I'm sure
Starting point is 01:01:43 Holy fuck dude, you're okay. I feel great Oh my god, dude, yeah, I really can't wait to edit this to see how long you were just talking right there Yeah, that's gonna have it's gonna be a tough clip to cut. Oh, josh go for it, bud Yeah, uh, but you know It's crazy, man And like honestly doing other people's lives kind of like Opens my mind to the fact that like if you have thought about it Someone else has definitely thought about it tried it and loves it and probably can't live without it
Starting point is 01:02:20 There is no original thought when it comes to sex Yeah, it's like everyone's right. There's just modifications Right people have tried weird stuff to the point where people are stepping on each other's balls with stilettos Which I am not into all all ball torture shit is so fucking weird to me Yeah, dude. No, like I'll I'll put a rubber band around my balls like but that's as far as I'll go What about you know, you'll get shit in your ass What you would take you would take it up the up the butt Why would I do that? I feel like I feel like opl is gonna make you gross
Starting point is 01:02:56 I mean, I've been doing it for nine seasons. I haven't gotten banged in the bomb Not saying banged in the bomb. I'll talk about playing in the backyard with no parental, you know guidance Well, I mean I mean, yeah, it's it's one thing to to like, you know Fiddle around but it's a whole other thing to dig into my purse What do you mean like straight get pegged or just like tap tap boop boop Okay, getting pegged is a whole other thing that won't happen for me. I'm sorry Not my thing
Starting point is 01:03:34 Not gonna dress you up with male parts People would pay top dollar to peg you son. I think people would love to peg you Why me you got like a pegable face, you know Oh, damn it. Yeah, like people like you're you and me like on the peg market It's like I'm a specific like Neesh, you know what I'm saying like you have to have like you've you've had to already have pegged before Take to want to like graduate to me like I'm like a final boss You you're more of like a like innocent like yeah, let's just do it
Starting point is 01:04:12 But they would like love to peg you. I gotta change my face dude. I'm telling you I gotta change everything you you would do very well in the peg market. I know You've looked into it. No, I could just see it in your face. You have a very pegable body I don't want to get pegged man. I wouldn't be good at it. No one would enjoy it because I'd just be complaining Yeah, I'd be the worst dude like I'd be like the worst I would have to like, you know, I'm saying like I'd be one of those girls That's like, you know, you gotta It's gotta be like There's gotta be candles. It's gotta like I would have all these like prerequisites
Starting point is 01:05:04 It'd be like the same in four-year-old virgin for his about to like jerk off Like turn like turn all your pictures over and shit Yeah, yeah God this episode is getting flagged Yeah, no, we're not yes, you know, yeah, I don't even know what I just said I just I didn't even say a thing What are you doing this weekend? um
Starting point is 01:05:30 Nothing I'm just kind of chilling tomorrow. I have to run eight miles. What? I'm trying to so what I was saying before like I I'm There's a queens marathon is august 1st So I'm training for that, but I'm not training for it yet Being like I'm gonna do it. I'm following up. It's august 1st august 1st So I'm following a program right now because they have programs of like they tell you what to run each day So you'll be in shape for a half marathon. So I've been following it
Starting point is 01:06:01 I've been following it and tomorrow is an eight minute eight minute an eight mile run and like I don't know if I can run eight miles straight. I would have to slow my pace down tremendously But if I can do that like tomorrow is gonna I'm gonna decide if I could do it or not. What's the weather like tomorrow? It's like pretty decent. It's not gonna be super hot, but um Bro, you like 75 you need to get a really good night's sleep Like hydrate hydrate today. Well, yeah, I've been hydrating like crazy your pre your pre run is going to be So fucking important Yeah, I'm so fucking like worried about it
Starting point is 01:06:43 The other day I did four miles and then I was like I felt so good But I was like like I could have gone further, but I was like, all right cool But then I was also thinking about like, you know double that like how the fuck am I gonna do that? You could do it You could do it. I'm gonna try but how do you like how do your legs feel today? I'm okay. My body's pretty tired, but it's also because like I've just been at a caloric deficit on purpose So I'm you gotta eat tonight. Yeah Yeah, I have less a little less energy, but I feel fine like my body's not like super sore or anything And when I run for the most part like I'm good
Starting point is 01:07:17 But we'll see I don't know if I can run any miles tomorrow though Even if it's like an 11 minute pace or some shit. Yeah, and then I'm gonna sign up That's huge because it's like four miles after that is like whatever What's what's what time are you doing the run? I don't know I wish I could probably in the morning. I wish I could just follow you with a drone Oh Do you have a playlist set up?
Starting point is 01:07:42 Yeah, but what's the first what's the first song you're gonna listen to once you hit the road? Oh, I don't really do that. I have a playlist and I just shuffle it. So whatever. Can we pick a song? Let's pick a song Uh made you look is a big one for me to start I like to put it like I think that's like a mile four song right there Yeah, like it's it's for me to be like Yeah That's the first song that should come on when you're like hurting
Starting point is 01:08:13 I this whole run needs to be like angry music for me Because like the other day I did I did three miles and like three miles isn't that hard for me anymore So I like to put on especially if I'm doing in the morning. I like to put on like relaxing music Right to be like, you know, whatever um So I like to do that But there's other days where I just feel like if I'm going for speed and it's going to be tougher Then the music has to be like rougher
Starting point is 01:08:38 That's why I like made you look because that song like I get hype when that comes on Yeah Now let's get it all in perspective from like, oh i'm out of here. You should get the remix too with ludicrous That's a good song. Don't stand half a chance like sigmes twins bars um I don't know how people exercise with no music. It's so weird to me that you could be that mentally like focused and locked in That you'll just like run There is something though about running that like don't make don't make no mistake
Starting point is 01:09:11 I I wouldn't be able to do it But there have been times where I started to run and then my headphones will die And then when my runs over like I didn't even really notice Because it's like when you run far enough You eventually just get in the zone and you're like, I just can't stop So I just you don't really try to think about anything else and that's the hardest part for me That's why the eight miles is going to be so hard. It's not really because of my body or because of like my Lungs or anything. It's just a mental toughness to just keep going
Starting point is 01:09:39 Because I always get so bored or I feel like why am I doing this? I don't need to do this or like, you know, whatever blah blah blah It's like you have to get past all of that and just keep going Yeah, but I hate that it's a part of like you have to have the physical too though It's not just like something that you'll mentally you could do it Right, but I feel like you I mean absolutely But I feel like at this point like I've been running pretty consistently since the quarantine started So I'm in like pretty good shape physically
Starting point is 01:10:02 And like I'm able I'm definitely able to run eight miles right now. It's just can I mentally Last Or it's like you You know when I'm running sometimes I'll start thinking about like damn my ankle kind of hurts a little bit or I'm starting to get a little cramp and like that stuff will psych me out And then I can't and then I just stop or some shit, you know You know what they say That if you're able to sit on the floor
Starting point is 01:10:28 um Like without using your hands and stand up without using your hands It says like you're you're like gonna live a longer life Can you do it? Yeah I don't see why that's super hard. Like can you just get up any way you want without using your hands? Well, you know, it's like indian style try to do it right now Okay, what do I have to do? All right. So what you have to do is You just sit indian style and stand up. You need to like squat into sitting without using your hands
Starting point is 01:11:02 So it's like, you know, you squat down into indian style, right? Uh-huh And then you sit and then you stand up with no hands So you sit and you stand with no hands But like can I like like if I'm sitting indian style Can I like shuffle my leg out and like stand on the knee or I have to stand straight up You gotta go straight up. All right. Well, you can't see this but I'm gonna try it. Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 01:11:30 Tell me when you're down That was very easy. Yeah, so that means you're gonna have like it's a it's a true thing. I heard about it It shows about like the longevity of your life. Like that's a huge test that they do for people I wonder why that is uh, I'm looking it up right now, but I know for a fact it's true Um Sitting down no hands longevity I don't understand how anyone can't I mean unless you're like bro There's a lot of people that can't fucking do that
Starting point is 01:12:05 But just sitting down Is so easy. I don't know A variation of the classic chair test Uh, which doctors have long use to assess leg strength and lower body fitness and seniors Uh, the test is simple to grasp if not hold up one second. I'm just trying to say why What the fuck I'm trying to find it It's all good, bro. How long will I live simple test? Here it is
Starting point is 01:12:42 Middle-aged and elderly people needed to use both hands to get up So standing up with no hands basically Gives a doctor How do I put this without reading all this mobile jumbo gives a doctor a great idea in terms of where your actual physical health is Well, I guess like if you can do that then like your hips have to be good And you have to have like strong legs and you're not like super overweight or something because if you're super overweight getting down Would be hard without just like crashing into the floor and then and then getting up in that way is like tough
Starting point is 01:13:17 Yeah It's good doing it Yeah Right Some people can't do that Yeah, I'm sure that's I mean it's tough. I want to see if now that's just gonna be the challenge I'm gonna ask how many people could that can do it. I want to see if somebody can't do it When you go on the baseman yard radio, you make people do that. That's what I'm gonna do
Starting point is 01:13:47 Yeah, when this episode drops, I'm gonna do baseman yard radio and test everybody Yes, for those of you who don't know our instagram is at the baseman yard Um, and usually daniel go on and do this baseman yard radio where you kind of like reviews the episode and kind of has people on the instagram Uh live split screen. It usually wants a week. So it's it's friday now So it'll be it'll be tonight or tomorrow I usually do them friday or saturday Yeah So baseman yard radio where there is no radio
Starting point is 01:14:18 But anyway, I think we can wrap this up Where can they find you uh at daniel a priori on instagram and twitter and also Uh only fans Yeah, I have an only fan. I have an only fans now. Okay only fans.com slash daniel a priori Jumping penis. No, no penis. It's uh, it's it's comedy based Uh, so like I'll be having like some live q and a's on there um Some like sketches and like some music stuff that I'm gonna be putting out on there and it's free
Starting point is 01:14:55 Nice, so it is free. You don't have to pay um Just come and check out my only fans so you can follow me on only fans And I and no one's gonna see my dick Until sorry guys until I start charging Yeah You guys can follow me at joe sanagato go check out the show on uh instagram Like I said at the baseman yard in our patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard
Starting point is 01:15:20 You get every episode a week early and you get uh the morning meeting Every morning. So yep, that is all. See you guys next time. Bye

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