The Basement Yard - #255 - We Used To Dress Like Idiots

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Frank & Joe reminisce about the good ole' days of Joe's childish hairflip & Frank's infamous Young Jeezy shirt. It's all bad. Support our show on Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/thebasementyard Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/thebasementyard Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Basement Yard. I have a guest on today's show, Mrs. Sophia Vergara. That one I'm not as upset about. She's hot. She is a good one. Weird voice though. I've been watching America. That's it.

That's not it. That was a pretty good impression. That wasn't the worst. You sound like Kermit. Kermit Vergara? Yeah. That's not a bad combo. She's really hot.

Her husband hotter. Dude. And he is such a like dweeb. He like hosts like massive games of like Dungeons and Dragons at his house. Does he really? Dude, huge. Joe Maganiello? Yes.

Magazineiello. What's his name? Manginello. Oh, okay. Or Mangelo. Magellan? Something along those lines. Did he discover things?

He is fucking hot. Yeah. And nerdy? Yeah, hot nerd. What's gets, what's better? We're taking over. We're taking up. I put myself in the same book.

I was just gonna say who are you talking about? Let me consider myself. I've been told in particular with like when I get salt and pepper, I'll look a lot more like Joe Mangelo or Manginello than I don't. It's like the streak. No one's ever said that. The streaks. It's true.

I confidently believe I've heard it. You've already started this thing in the comments where you have somehow infected people into thinking that you look like Jason Momoa and it bothers me so much. First of all, not an infection. It is absolutely an incredible coincidence that it just so happens that people also believe I look like Jason Momoa. I think that you have diseased people. You have diseased them.

I don't think so. And if, oh, why can't people just say I look like Jason Momoa? Why can't you be happy with that? You don't want to be on a podcast where you're finally not the fucking hottest person in the room? Shit. Let me have this, okay? No, because listen.

Because here's what. What? I know what I got. I can't believe. Yeah. Sorry, guys. It's like Santa Claus? You know, it's like little kids in Santa Claus.

Let them believe it. Let them believe it. When did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real? Spoiler alert, by the way. Oh, shit. Yeah. Pussy. Fallatio.

For the kids that are still here. Now they're gone. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was... The fuck was that? I was... I don't remember what age.

Did someone tell you? No, no, no, no, no. You remember when we talked about that one kid? There was always that one kid. Well, you know, his name... Stavros. Started with an S. Yeah, ended with an Avros.

Oh, Stavros. Yeah, such a little, like... Told me about Pussy and definitely told me Santa Claus wasn't real. Realistically, though, ahead of his time, I guess. Ahead of his time, I didn't believe him, though. I believed him about the Pussy stuff. I was trying to say this in whatever episode we previously spoke about him, but he would always do this thing in class where he would...

Do you remember that? He'd always be drinking. No, he would suck his own spit. That's already in his mouth, like it was going somewhere. Well, sometimes it dribbles out. Yeah, but no, he was... He was doing okay. He had strong lips?

Yeah, he had a strong set. Some people don't have a strong set of lips, and it falls out. Like that... Remember that girl from kindergarten? Don't say her name. That little... I don't remember it. Oh, you know it.

Oh, yeah, I do that little... Yeah, you do. That little idiot. No, I mean... If we don't say her name, can we call her a little bitch? You can. Fire. I don't want her to figure it out, but she was a drooling woman.

If she... Oh, wait. She drooled all over myself. Yeah, it was in... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I won't call her a bitch. You know she was, though. You didn't like her?

I don't remember not liking her, but every little kid is a little idiot or a little bitch. You know what I mean? That's true. I was a little idiot. Oh. Oh, you were a little... You were both.

You were a bitch idiot. I was a bitch idiot. Yeah, exactly. Do you remember... Hold on. Now that we're talking about girls from our past... Uh-oh. Going back to Pre-K here...

Yep. I think we were like in love with her. We were... I was in love with two girls in that class. But one of them... And here we go. No, no, no. I was in love with her.

I don't know if she was in love with me. Every fucking girl was in love with you from Pre-K until 30 minutes ago. Are you done crying? Go ahead. That wasn't the case. You dumb idiot bitch. I like that. But remember Jackie?

Oh, I remember Jackie. Yeah. Yeah. She might... We might as well have been in class with fucking... At the time. Who's someone really hot? At the time.

It was like... Jennifer Lopez. Bingo. Yeah. It was... She was like the... She was like the top of the mountain. She was like the Pre-K girl.

All of us wanted. Yeah. You know? So weird to say it's grown men on a show now. But... Yeah. She was. And I remember one time in like third grade.

We were at the park. I don't know if you were there actually. But she showed up. Uh-oh. Dude. And I just started climbing the swing set. Yeah. Because I was...

I don't know what... Like where did you... Like a gorilla? You were climbing... I was trying to like impress her. You had a very specific set of skills. And you needed to show them off. I could climb.

Climbing a swing set was pretty imp... Because it was a tall set. It was a tall set. And not only that, but I was barefoot. Because I had better grip. It did. It did. You were...

You know how like people would like... I watched a lot of Tarzan. I was gonna say, you know how like the monkeys climb where they like go like one arm over the other and they're fucking feeder bear? Yeah. That was you. And then you would slide down. There was like...

It was like a tr... Like this? A triangle. And there was a middle pole. And you would slide down the middle pole. And you would just like... Like winded. Like...

It was high. Yeah. Yeah. I would do... I'm not even kidding. That's what I did. And I remember she showed up to the park and I was like, well I gotta... I gotta start climbing now.

Yeah. There are a few girls... Because we like... There are a few girls in our life that have been like... We both were like vying for their attention at one point in time. You know what I mean? Did you climb for a girl? Uh...

I... I did a lot of dumb things for her girls. Yeah. Uh... I remember the first time I had met a girlfriend that I had in high school. I was walking down the street with her and her cousin. And... You know how like people like leapfrog the parking meters?

Oh god, yes. Didn't make it over. Didn't... Fucking bang! Boom! Did you get your head on the floor? I hit my fucking nuts on the parking meter and went straight to the ground. And like got up like...

Yeah. Like a part of it. Part of it. You played it off? Yeah. Did she say anything? Oh yeah. What'd she say?

You're an idiot. She could do you an obstacle. Yeah, no. She immediately made fun of me. Yeah. Um... Well it worked. Did it?

Nope. It worked for a bit. It worked for a stretch? Yeah. That was like... I remember that was one of the first girls that like... Cause I... You know I always wanted to be different.

Cause I was always goofy. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was always goofy. I saw Rollerblades and my thing and said... You know, for Christmas. So I was for me and then on the Christmas day it said... From Mrs. Claus.

That's how I found out Santa was an idiot and not real. But... Just to fucking tie it in because it would have been like a sneeze stuck in my fucking head. Okay, okay. Um... Rollerblades is the reason... Yeah, those idiots. Uh...

Never learned how to rollerblade. As you know. But... I've seen Frankie almost die on rollerblades. Almost. Yep. Uh... What was I saying?

Something about jumping over a parking meter. Yeah. And she told me like yo, just be yourself. And I said that? Yes. Wow. You set me up with this girl at the time. Oh, okay.

Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. I thought you were... I thought it was a different high school. No. What other high school? Well like... Where she went to high school.

No. I'm thinking of the other... No, no, no, no, no. You... Yeah. I know who you're talking about. You know who I'm talking about. Yeah.

It was the first time because before that I tried... Why did I say be yourself? Dude, because you were a fucking icon. That's why. I'm fucking icon. That's why. And... What a fight, Dr. Phil.

You were at the time. And I remember because like before that I was Mr. fucking cool. You know what I mean? I tried at least. I was wearing three size, three XL shirts. Yeah. Three matching fitted, you know. And I remember...

Jerseys. A lot of jerseys. Yeah. And all like orange sneakers. Yeah. My ice creams. Yeah, you had ice creams. Yeah.

I wore that with my... Yeah. Brown's Joe Gervicious jersey. Holy shit. Yeah. You had a Brown's Joe Gervicious jersey. Oh, yeah. I hoped you kept it.

No, it's long gone. It is. Yeah. But... You told... I was like, yo, what do I do? Like if she's... Like what if she's not into me?

And you were like, dude, just be yourself. And I remember it had like snowed. It had snowed when we hung out with them for the first time. And yo, the second she met up with us, I rang out. And yo, the second she met up with us, I ran full speed into a mound of snow and dove through it. And I was like, he wants me to be myself. And that's what it was.

Was that yourself? I don't know. I'm going to go with it. Nope. I'm going to go with nope because that sounds like something Keith would do. Keith and I were two peas in a pod. You guys were performers. You know, remember when Keith slid on top?

That was the same day. He slid on top of a car and it was like a sheet of ice. And him and the sheet of ice went down at the same time. Yeah. Dude, one time I was with Keith and we were hanging out with all our friends, but it was time to go home. So it was just me and him and we're standing on a corner and it was snowing and it was like ice on the ground. And we didn't know it, but we were standing on black ice. So we're standing on it.

And then this was around the time that Keith was doing his whole bush diving thing. So Keith is just jumping bushes. And it was the funniest thing to us ever. But like, and it wasn't like a small, like bush. We're talking about dangerous. Good die. Get impaled. Dude, this kid was throwing his body into like 10 foot high, like shrubbery.

With no, with no regard for his own health. At all. I need to come out, scratches, bleeding every time and we'd be dying laughing. Yeah, because it was good. Yeah. So we're standing on the corner and we're standing on black ice, unknowingly. And then Keith decides he's going to jump in a bush. Right.

And he just looks at me. Dude, I remember this clear as day. It was one of the funniest things we've ever seen. He looks at me and he goes, he just looks at me and he goes, let you think I'm making this up. Turbo time. Right. Looks at me and goes.

Turbo time and goes to take a step. Black ice slips face on the ground. Down. Just immediately like bang. Just hits the floor. I had to be dragged home. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. Dude, Keith was an icon as well.

An absolute icon. That's what we were recognizing. Anyone in your bloodline was an icon in a day. An icon. And he would just. Turbo time. Why did he say that? And I could see him too.

Just like. Turbo time. He was. Fuck a turbo time. Dude, he was so serious about it being turbo time. And what made it even funnier is Keith really looked like Harry Potter back in the day. Yeah.

So just imagine Daniel Radcliffe just standing next to you and just looking at you in the eyes and just going. Turbo time. Yeah. And also a full disclosure. I believed him dude. You believed it was turbo time. He genuinely was like, it is time for the turbo.

I was fully in turbo time with him. But it lasted literally .3 seconds. Not even a full second. Yeah. And it was the opposite of turbo time. It was laid down bed time. I was going to say it was sleepy time. Oh man.

That's fucking insane. But yeah, you told me to be myself. And. Damn man. It worked. A hindsight. It didn't work. Right.

You know. It was all about. Does it work? I mean where I am now. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely.

I don't know if you're doing a song and dance. Sage advice that you provided me at the age of 14. Sage advice? Sage. Isn't it sound advice? It's also sage advice. I've never heard. Isn't sage like something you burn when you're trying to get rid of bad spirits?

It could be. But it's also just like sage advice. Like it's like old wise advice. Yeah. I don't know if I believe anything you say anymore after the whole fiber conversation. Let's not do this. I also incorrectly said something that someone pointed out in the comments that I definitely didn't read.

What? Where I said causation doesn't mean correlation. It's the other way around. Correlation does not mean causation. And that's true. It's a scientific part. It's a part of social sciences, Joey. You know.

You didn't. You took one class at Yale from 14 years ago. Dude, what I heard. I found out you were doing that on Twitch. I was like. I had to stop what I was doing. I was like, what the fuck? It's like psychology.

Good for you though. Yeah. Continuing education never stops. Hey man. What did you learn? Stuff. Yeah. Did you learn about like the like stages of psychosexual development?

No. Really? I mean, it was a 101. I don't think we're getting the psychosexual. Yeah. I think you get into that. Yeah. Like where it's like, I think it's, I think it's like Freud, you know, Freud, him.

He said that like at one point all humans go through like. Want to fuck their mom. Not their dad. Well, I mean that's, so there's the Oedipal complex and the electric complex. Oedipal is boys want to fuck their shit out of their mom. Right. I mean, you could have just, you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to go like heavy fuck the shit out of.

Well, it's. Just want to have some relations. And girls want to bang their dads. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, a lot of people don't really hold Freud in like high regard in the society. Yeah.

I think he was a racist too. I think they all were. I think they had to be in order to be like, I feel like everyone from back in the day, like had a really good thing that they contributed to society. Yeah. Yeah. But they also like had sex with an animal. Yep.

Yeah. They had something. Yeah. I mean, that, that makes sense. I think you needed to, you know, distance yourself from the status quo back then. Yeah. Speaking of psychosexual, you know, whatever. I kind of want to talk to you about what's going on with you because.

Before. What a fucking transition. What's going on with me? Because before, right, we're sitting in my living room and we're just kind of discussing, you know, the show and like game plan, sort of like a game plan, a loose game plan of like, you know, where's the show going to go or like, you know, whatever, just planning for the future. And then, uh, like I was looking down on my phone, uh, doing something and then, you

know, whatever, then I look up and I'm talking to Frankie and I hear like, oh, and I go and I'm like, what the fuck is that? So it scares me because it sounds like someone literally right here made a grunting noise. So I like turned and went like this and behind me is just like, uh, like a TV console with like, whatever, like books in the cable box and then the TV TV is black. And I'm like, what the fuck is that? And so I turned back around at Frankie and he's just looking at me and I hear, oh, and I go, what the fuck is going on?

So now I think there's like, uh, ghost who's the moaning Myrtle was behind you. Yeah. Yeah. Might be fucking behind me. And then I ended up finding out that Frankie had put on a ASMR video. It was, yes. Uh, of a man moaning. Just type in mail moaning into YouTube and you'll find it.

It's gotta be one or two. And it's a dark screen. So I literally thought the TV was off, but I was hearing a guy just going, uh. He got into it too. Yeah. Eventually we were trying to turn it off and Frankie didn't know how and we just kept hearing like, oh. So I wanted to talk to you about like, why do you know that?

I mean, sometimes just to make people smile, you just type in the dumbest shit that you can find. What are you doing? Oh, you read this around and every now and then you accidentally type in mail moaning to YouTube and there's a lot of ASMR on there. That's actually how you accidentally do that because I'm interested in how you accidentally do stuff. So listen to me.

If you want to make anyone laugh, just type in mail, like a well-placed, spontaneous moan, hard to beat. It's fucking hysterical. Okay. And this is not the first time I've played mail moaning to let make people laugh all the time. I actually remember the first time. You remember the first time?

Yeah. We were in Vegas. Oh, what a good one. And me and our other friend flew in like late. We got there like two days after you guys. And we showed up to their door and I'm knocking on the door and no one's answering. But then all of a sudden I start hearing this blaring, ugh. Yeah.

And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And I opened the door and Frankie's blasting mail moaning. Tell me a time. And our other two friends are passed out. Tell me a time that you've heard mail moaning and not laugh. Mail moaning's nice. Not nice. Yeah.

You know what it is. Yeah. But, yo, my last apartment sound traveled through that thing. Oh, yeah. Like a Japanese train. Yeah, yeah. They go fast. They vary.

They're like light trains. That's why they call them light trains. Bang. Because sound doesn't go that quick in there. So, okay. Anyway, so I used to hear people, and below me was an Airbnb, so it'd be people coming in and out. Oh, yeah.

I remember. Honestly, mostly Asian for it. Do you have a reason? It was. Yeah. A lot of sex, dude. Dude, they. Fuck.

Dude, those walls were fucking basically paper. I was, it was, I was basically in on it. And we would be like watching like fucking WWE and we'll just hear like, hi. Just like, Jesus, like people just moaning as loud as they could. What? What? Seeing you. Why?

Yeah. My tongue was the one that made the noise. Oh my God. But yeah, they were, they were going to town on each other. Big time fuckers in that apartment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know why, but it was mostly Asian people who would rent the apartment.

Yeah. Boy, do they get down. Yeah. They were like jack rabbits down there. Let me tell you, boy, it was, it was Friday night every single day that they were there. Yeah. And it was like. Dude, they were just literally just destroying each other.

I got scared. I honestly, the first time it scared me because I was like, is there someone being murdered? And there was, but in a good way. Oh, I'm like, their, their vaginas were getting absolutely or buttholes. You never know. Well, a butthole will make you scream bloody murder. Yeah. Oh, you never know.

Apparently the male G spots in the butthole. Not apparently. I think scientifically it's in there. Is it? All right. I didn't know that. I don't either. I, and I have no desire to figure it out.

I'm cool with the orgasms I got. Yeah. I think they're cool. Dude. I think they're dope. My, I'm telling you, like, I'm good with the Gazzies I got anything after that. Gazzies. There's no.

Or Gazzies. Okay. Uh, like, I wouldn't put anyone through the heart of going anywhere near my asshole. But I do. I heard you probably have a nice asshole. Can I see it? You don't want to see it. I'm telling you, it's not that nice.

Dude, do you remember when I looked at mine? Yeah. I was horrified. I couldn't believe it. That my body allows a place like that to exist. You still haven't addressed that. I feel like we should, you should start therapy because I don't want it to bottle up. I need to start therapy because I don't want it to mess with you that you've seen your

asshole and like, you know, it's already like I'm a ruined person because of it. That's why I feel like you should talk to someone about it. Dude. I kid you not. You, you, you, you never think that a part of you could be so fucking gross. And I, I had a day that day and I was like, I have to live with the fact that my body, like there's a part of me that I would never let my worth enemy see. Yeah.

My butt just looks like an old worm. Dude, Sarlak pit. My asshole, like frigging Luke Skywalker almost got thrown into that bad boy. Oh, the thing with teeth. Yeah. Imagine your butt had teeth. That'd be, that would honestly make life a lot easier. Do all vaginas have teeth?

Not all. I mean, some of them. There was that movie. Teeth. Vagina dentata. Yeah. Is that real? I don't know.

I would. I don't know. Maybe like if you were born in Chernobyl around, uh-oh. What? Is that incestuous? No, no, no, no, no. I didn't know. If you were born in Chernobyl, Chernobyl.

Chernobyl. Yes. Yes. Born in Chernobyl. If you were born there, they still have some like radiation stuff. Yeah. I mean, I know that there have been like cases of like weird deformities around Chernobyl. Yeah.

But I, like there's gotta be pussy teeth out there. Like there has to be. One. There's gotta be at least like a- There's everything. Remember the video, the famous video of the guy with those big fat nuts that he could like sit on like a beanbag chair? No.

What? What? Dude. Dude, you've never seen the fattest balls on earth? No. That would be awful. Yeah. And he has to carry them around.

And people gotta help him. Gotta help your friend carry his balls. I mean, that's not the worst. That's just skin. Balls are just skin. Sitting on balls. Dude, what? Do you remember when it was like a joke?

I'm glad we've progressed to the point in society where it's no longer cool to have a big dick. It's actually kind of cool to have a small dick. Damn it. Where the- Where the fuck is this video? It was an old video, man. It was like a guy in like a, it was like a third world country it looked like. And he had these huge balls.

Dude. And people had to help him move them. And he would just sit on them like a beanbag chair. Oh my god. You know how much that makes me squirm? How does that not just rip the rest of your, like from your body? Well, I mean, at that point, you basically, you're basically carrying another person. So that skin is probably strong as shit.

You could literally fit two 10 year olds in this man's ball sack. That's how, not that you, listen, I know there's a lot of sex trafficking going on. I'm not making a joke. I'm saying the size of a 10 year old, you could fit in these balls. Dude, huge. That is wild. Yeah. I mean, I would, I'm very happy with the balls I got.

I would change my asshole though. Okay. To anything, just anything what it is not, I'd take your butthole. You don't know what it is. I listen to me, guarantee it's better than mine. Yeah. I don't. Yeah.

I mean, all right. You ever, I'm not going to trade. Yeah. It's, it was not, it was, it's not pretty. No. Listen, by the way, also I found this on my phone. I had screenshots back in the day from these old, from, all right, let me back up here. I went down a rabbit hole like a year ago.

Sorry. That's me. I went down a rabbit hole like a year ago of like these weird porn titles because I saw one and I was like, there has to be more of these. You need more. Yeah. So I, but I forgot about them. Like I wanted to talk about them on a podcast, but I just forgot, but I found them the other

day because I was like deleting shit from my phone. Okay. The first one. So, these are all real. Okay. But are they like, they're not parody. Like, okay. So they're not like star horse and like face jam.

Yeah. Like Raiders of the Lost Bark. That sounds like a dog movie. Yeah. I think it might have been actually. What the fuck is that? I'm confused as to what we're talking about right now. Raiders of the Lost Bark.

Yeah. Okay. Um, no, this one is out of breath pregnant girl, Humpster Pillow. Of course. Absolutely. I feel like out of breath. Out of breath part really makes it real, you know? This is really searching the keywords out of breath.

You know what? I'll tell you, there's gotta be things out there for every person and they're really into like exhaustion porn, bingo. Exhausted pregnant women, boom. Exhausted pregnant women masturbating, you hit the motherload there. Yeah. But I love the out of breath part is the best part of it. Why?

The pregnant porn? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if I've got like for me. Not for me. Yeah. Yeah. That's just not for me.

That's all right. But I get it. Like you want to watch a pregnant girl bang her pillow. Good on you. I don't know. I feel like that's too innocent. You know what I mean? Like if you're going to watch someone like she's already pregnant, like get into it,

you know? Wait, what? Yeah. Oh, like, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Stop. Stop.

You sound out of breath. Dude, why don't girls bang their pillows? Yeah. I guess it's like- It's just a common thing to bang a pillow. They just like scoot across the carpet or some shit. Like a dog with an H.E.S. Yeah.

Dude, you know how easy it must be for a woman to masturbate in public? I knew a woman who used to hump her couch to start like the arm of her couch. Dude, absolutely. Yeah. I'm trying to think. I'm really not like, I haven't asked much about women masturbating. But I would assume, you know, there are some people that do that. There's furniture getting all the action out there.

Dude, 100%. Guys are just cranking it out to like the most random shit. And then girls are just scooting across their fucking living room floor and getting off. Yeah. I could see a cloud. I'm like, that kind of looks like titties. And then I'm good. Yeah.

No. I hear what you're saying. If I needed a full couch- And girls could be watching like the weirdest shit. They'll be like, oh, fucking clip for the big red dog is on. And just fucking make their way across the arm of the chair. I haven't remembered. I haven't heard that in so long.

What, Clifford? The big red dog. Probably got some girls off. Maybe some boys too. You never know. You do never know. Next. Yeah.

Invisible Ghost Gang Bang. Dot, dot, dot. Wait. Dot, dot, dot. Okay. Yes. It's what you think it is. Oh.

That's the title. Just in case you didn't think it was exactly what the title was telling you it was. It is. It is. I have to say the reassurance at the end there really makes you feel better about it. Hammer's at home. Really does. Really does.

But Invisible Ghost Gang Bang, yes, it is what you think it is. This one I watched. Yeah. Gave me the rundown. So it's a girl pretending to get slammed by a bunch of ghosts and she's pretending to be banged and also jerking a fake ghost. By the way, two for two with masturbation videos. I think we found where you like to hang out.

Well, no, I don't hang out here. I don't like that. What, masturbation? No, like solo porn. Oh, you're not like a solo guy. You want to see a team. Yeah, I like a team effort. I know what you're talking about.

You know, team building. I want some chemistry. Yeah. You want to see some rebounds. You want to see some assists. Yeah. I get you. I don't want to see a, but like, I don't know, I just feel like with a solo thing it

just feels like it's weird. Like I don't want to watch. This is what you do when you're by yourself. Yeah. I don't want to peek in. You want to watch someone else, you know, fillate somebody else. That would be nice. Yeah, I could see what you're saying.

I don't, you know, I don't do that, but this woman, she did fake bang a bunch of ghosts. If I remember correctly though, I'm pretty sure there was like a disclaimer of like, I made this for a specific guy because sometimes people like pay lesser known porn stars to like make videos for them. Like only fans. Kind of. But that's like for an audience. But this would be like, if I was a porn star and you paid like, I'll give you $500 if

you make this like ghost gang bang video and I'll be like, all right, cool. And I filmed it and then gave it to you. She said something like that where it's like, she made it for a guy and she knows that it's like funny. So she's, she's in on the joke. So she knows it's a bit. Everyone knows that there's no ghosts gang banging her. Yeah.

I feel like she knows that. But I feel like that, see, that's confusing. There's some psychics that would probably think otherwise. Yeah. I mean, listen, apparently Lucy Lou got fucked by a ghost while filming a movie. Did you say that? Yeah. She like in an art, like an interview said that she got banged by it.

You got to look this shit up. I'll look it up. Lucy Lou. Lucy Lou. Lucy Lou. She was slammed by ghost. Lucy Lou. Sex with ghost.

I mean, if you just look it up, she's still got it. Lucy Lou. Ghost sex. Hold on. There's an article. Yeah. Oh, there's seven celebrities who've had sex with a ghost or at least cuddled with them.

Oh, you don't look at it. Don't look at it. Demi Moore. That's fake. Oh yeah. That's in a movie. This was real. She like full on said like, all right.

Lucy Lou. I had a sexual encounter with a ghost while she was trying to nap on her food time. Some sort of spirit came down from God knows where and made love to me. It was sheer bliss. It felt, I felt everything. I climaxed and then he floated away. It was almost like what I might have, what might, what might have happened to Mary. That's how I felt.

So who's Mary? The mother of Jesus. Oh, sorry, just random Mary. I didn't expect it. Yeah, you know, Mother Mary. Okay. So ghost gangbangs are in there. Yeah.

And now the last, well, this isn't the last one. Was there like, did she like squirt like fucking like, didn't watch that far? I just wanted to see like what was going on in the middle of it. So she was just playing with herself pretending there was a ghost. Yeah. And there may have multiple. Geist. Yes.

Ghosts, geists. Yes. I know. Whatever it is. This one. Again, these are all real. You can look them up. Big ass Latina.

Now, let's stop. That seems like it's common. Don't know at this point if it's her ass or just a giant ass Latina or just a big fucking six foot seven Latina. Just yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. That you're right. Where is big ass? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's just a big a big ass. Is this in the title? No, no, no. Oh, I'm going to say this is quite the title. I'm off the record now. Michael Scott.

Paper cup. But okay, a big a big ass big ass Latina Latina her butt big ass Latina teen. Careful. Chased. By the way, it wasn't a team not even close. Okay. Big ass Latina teen chased by lesbian loving T Rex pause on hoverboard then fucked. This is very specific.

Lots of unpack. Who is this for? Like who go like like who is this for big ass Latina fucking horny ass paleontologists. I'll tell you where they lost me. Big ass Latina. Right up my alley. And that's again, that's probably quite commonly searched. Love that.

Teen also probably commonly searched as well. Chased by lesbian loving and you're going where's this guy who's like lesbian loving what? Yeah. And then you see T Rex and you go that has to say trex and be a thing that I don't know. There's no way that it's a fucking dinosaur. But no trex is chasing her tracks. I thought trex was another porn stuff.

But probably is. No, it's it's a T Rex that's on a hoverboard. Okay. And then he, you know, ends up fucking her. I need some character development here. I need to know is she lesbian is that why she's getting chased by the lesbian loving T Rex. I assume.

So why is this T Rex only going after lesbians the thrill of the chase thrill of the hunt. Yeah, I think that's what it is. That's why gay dudes like straight guys. They want to try and convert. Maybe yeah, maybe so so wait so wait was the T Rex a male or female. The T Rex for sure had a dick. So male T Rex. So boy trex right is just after her.

Yes. Oh, got her by the way. I assume he got chased her captured her fucked her. I assumed that that was what happened. I mean, not many people porn or not, you're not getting you're not running a T Rex. They're very fast. Let alone a horny one. That's on a hoverboard, no less of all things.

You same bolts not escaping this T Rex. Listen, just think about think about this. Close your eyes. How much scarier would Jurassic Park be if that T Rex just was at full mass and on a hoverboard. It's terrifying. Terrifying. It's terrifying.

You know, because on top of thinking that this thing is going to get you and put its dick in or around you. You didn't worry about that the fucking hoverboard exploding. Yeah. And now the last one, this is so this is you said and I quote when Joey was telling me he wanted to do this. I have one that you will not believe. Well, no, it's not that you won't believe it is that you're like, it's not phrased politically

correct. Uh oh. Go ahead. But it lay it on thick. So you're just reading a title. This was the one that I saw and I was like, what is going on? And all it is, is it said, uh, oh God, I'm going to get the ads ready, but it's mom fucks retarded son.

Oh boy. Yeah. That's like an actual thing. And now look, that's fucked up, but it's funny. It is funny because I mean, it's obviously fucked up obviously, right? But you know, I'm scrolling along. Picture this. Joey scrolling along, trying to find the one and then you stumble upon and it just jumped

off the page. Mom fucks retarded son. What is worse, finding it or watching it? So I had to watch it. Okay. For research, for research, for research, because at that point I was like, well now I know I'm going to tell everyone that I found this, so they're going to ask how am I going to not, you know, I have a responsibility, you have a journalistic responsibility to tell

them exactly what happened when the mom got hold of her mentally disabled son. Yes. And, um, there was no, so, and this is the only reason why I'm bringing it up is that there was no indication that there was any, you know, mental disabilities going on. So what that means is someone just filmed a regular porno, like a, it was like an amateur thing. And then decided that to get more views, you make that the title, which means someone's got to be searched.

Someone's looking for this shit. Someone's looking for this. And those are the real villains in this whole story. That's what I want to, I just wanted everyone to know that someone's out there. Yeah. You know, once there's people, you know who the fuck, what was the viewership on this video? I wish I remembered.

You didn't, just look it up. I'm sure it's still there. I don't want to go back. You know, I don't blame you. Yeah. Because then it, you know, fuck up my search. That's a, that's a minefield. I don't want to open the door.

Instagram's going to start recommending weird shit. I don't want to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, you're out there and you know exactly who you are. Cut it out. Cut it out.

Also, we don't use those words anymore. That's good. But it was, uh, it caught me. It really caught me by surprise. Yeah. I've never seen something like that in all my porn days. Yeah. No, no, no, no.

That, that is, uh, that's a special place in hell, regardless of if you're getting people off. Like, do you think it was made and then someone just said like, this kid, let's, let's just name it something stupid. And like, it was like an insult. They threw that out of like, trying to insult the people involved. I, I, I couldn't even, I don't even know where to begin with it. Hold on one second.

How are we not addressing the elephant in the fucking room here? The mom. It's the mom. Not even a step mom. Like why? Like forget about the mental disability. It's the mom and her son. What fucking planet are you on that you want to see that?

And why do you feel like you need to add another element to this? If you, if there was a porno of someone getting fucked by their mom, I would apologize to them. I would like do everything I could to help them. Yeah. That's, uh, listen, it was a fucked up title and it sent me down a bad path, but it also led me to big ass Latina being chased by a T-Rex. You know, peas and carrots.

Well, I don't know if that's exactly what it applies to. I don't really know. I think it does. But it was. Carrot and stick. You're getting further from an expression. Nope. You're just naming foods now.

You want to do one more? Ebs and flows. Let's get to these ads. We have advertisements for today, uh, for the show. The first one being honey, which is a free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best ones to fit in your cart. So when you're shopping, it automatically finds coupons and things on the internet to, uh, apply to your cart and you save money.

Okay. It's amazing and it's free. Uh, they sport. They support over 30,000 stores online. Uh, they have tech gaming products, popular fashion brands, even food delivery. Um, so yeah, if you don't have honey, then I don't know why you could just be saving money without even realizing. Um, they have over 17 million members who have saved over $2 billion.

Okay. So definitely go check out honey. It's free, literally free. Uh, it installs in just a few seconds, um, and you can get it for free at join honey.com slash basement again, that is join honey.com slash basement, free saving money. Someone's doing the legwork of finding you coupons for you. You might as well do it if you're going to shop. Okay.

Uh, so go check them out. Next, we have, uh, liquid IV, which Frankie left here with a whole bunch of liquid IV. I crushed it on Saturday. They send me packages all the time and, uh, yeah. So we have liquid IV, um, which is basically the, um, it just helps you like hydrate, right? So one of the sticks is, um, equivalent to like two or three glasses of water. It actually hydrates you quicker than water would because of, uh, CTT, which is cellular transport technology.

Who knows what that is? We don't. Hmm. Obviously. I know it works though. Yeah. Uh, I know it works though. It does.

Uh, but it does, it does help you hydrate. If I like going a long run and like sweat a lot, I have one of them or if I'm like hung over, I have one of them or I'll just have them anyway, just cause they taste amazing. They have really good, um, you know, flavors of this also. So if you're looking for that, they also have an energy one, um, which is good. Uh, the premium matcha and green energy blend, um, they're like one to two cups of coffee without the crash. So it's all really good stuff.

Um, and right now they're doing 25% off on their site. Um, they're available nationwide at Costco as well. But if you go to liquid IV.com and use the promo code basement, you get 25% off of anything in the store. Um, that is liquid IV.com slash basement for 25% off. So start hydrating people. Okay. Uh, next we have better help, uh, better help is, um, online counseling.

So if you guys are looking to talk to a therapist or a counselor or whatever you want to call it, um, you can use better help. Um, you know, you can text, call, FaceTime. There's a bunch of means of communication with these people and you can start communicating in under 48 hours. Um, they have a bunch of licensed professionals that specialize in various different things like relationships, depression, or, you know, just a bunch of different things. So if you want to, you know, try online counseling, um, this is a way to do it, uh, betterhelp.com,

uh, slash yard for 10% off your first month. Um, but yeah, go check it out. Also, if you're not, if you don't like your counselor, you can switch very easily. They make it easy to switch counselors. So, you know, part of, you know, therapy is finding, you know, a therapist that will kind of mesh with you well. So if you need to switch a bunch of times, it's, you know, it's nothing crazy, but yeah. So go to betterhelp.com slash yard for 10% off of your first month of that.

And lastly here, we have features socks. Okay. These are some of the best socks I've ever put on my feet because they have like these targeted compression things that hug the arch of your foot, keeping your sock in place. And I like a nice, tense sock, my favorite article of clothing, your socks socks. You're a big sock guy. Well, I have a tub of socks. Tub?

Tub. All right. Um, but yeah. So they have, um, all this stuff, um, that is amazing. It hugs the, they call it the anatomical design sound scientific. It's socks. So there's science and socks coming together to make something that is beautiful on your foot.

Okay. Um, but go check out, uh, features, feature socks will change how you feel about socks forever. Okay. So 10% off your first pair of features when you go to, when you use the code basement, go to features spelled F E E T U R E S.com. Use the promo code basement for $10 off of your first pair of features. Okay.

Again, F E E T U R E S.com promo code is basement for $10 off of your first pair of features. All right. That's good. There you go. I hate to draw this from you, this time from you, but, um, I wanted to start doing a segment. It might be weekly. It might not be weekly. And I just want to know if I have the floor.

It's called keeping it Frank. Okay. It's, it's, it's simple. Keep it Frank. Keep it. I'm going to keep it Frank with you. All right. So are you okay with me?

I don't know what it is. I know that's the point. But what is it? If I told you, I don't know if you would let me do it, but what do I have to do? So welcome back to the first ever episode of keeping it Frank. Oh, it has an intro. Yeah. Uh, portion of the show here where we do exactly what we are named to do.

Keep it Frank. Uh, joining me is, uh, my, uh, first guest ever, Joe Sanagato. Hey, how you doing? I'm doing great. Thanks for having me. I'll do what I can. Glad we could fit you in. So Joe, part of keeping it Frank is we are here to tackle the tough questions, uh, and

tough, um, things that we have done, whether in our life, uh, in order to keep it Frank, be honest. Why did we do it? What happened? What do we feel will happen because of our actions and or in actions. And on our debut episode, uh, I want to ask you something, Joe, you, um, uh, been, uh, creating content for better part 10 years now. Uh, and, uh, there are a few things you've done in your life, uh, that have been as heavily

criticized as your fucking hair flip. Now Joe, keep it Frank with me. Yep. When did you start the hair flip and why the fuck was it four years too late? Um, four. I appreciate you being generous. Um, hmm, I think it's, yeah, honestly. So you know how everyone's doing the buzz cut back in the day.

Oh yeah. And I was buzzing. I was buzzing hard, right? And at a certain point I was like, can't buzz anymore. And so I was like, I'm just going to grow it out a little bit. Okay. And I was, so you know this, but in like fourth, fifth grade, I was flipping. You were flipping.

You stopped for a while. I did. You did. Um, and I do remember specifically one time I flipped and wore a headband, right? And I was wearing a headband in class and the old German teacher that we talked about not too long ago, absolutely fucking torched me. Dude, do you remember when kids would get yelled at for wearing headbands hats? Yes.

Dude, she goes, I go, they're coming. I stepped on a cat to say what the fuck dude, I thought there was like a, all right, back to it. Yeah. I don't know what that was. No, but, uh, so the old schnett, uh, she, that's our teacher, uh, the old schnett, the old schnett, the old schnett, she, um, she screamed at me and she, in front of everyone, she goes, you sweating?

And I was like, what? And she goes, are you sweating? And I was more German. So I was like, I sweating. And I was like, and I was like, no. And she goes, well, then take off your headband. And I, and I was just like, yeah. And I took it off and never fucking wore headband again.

So, so you, you famously stopped, you know, the days of D4L, Omarion, and, uh, you know, other rap groups of the mid 2000s, you took some time off to transition into a buzz cut. What made, what the fuck does D4L have to do with this? It was the time. What made you return back? This is some fucking journalism right here. It is. Don't reign on my parade.

I'm not. To the hair flip. And why is it the most embarrassing hairstyle you've ever had? I don't even know if that's true. We got a lot more time to, you know, whatever. So like I said, I had the buzz cut, but, and I had a flip once before in my life. And, you know, it's like hard to change like from your hair, like sometimes, sometimes you only have two your whole life.

You only have two heads, but you only have two haircuts your whole life. So I had that one. And then I changed to a buzz cut. So as I started growing it out, I didn't know what to do with it, so I just went with what I knew. And it just so happened that it was a fifth grader's haircut. It was. You know?

It was. I have noticed during your time, you've never experimented with it. It was like a very big triangle. It was. So this was what was the most impressive about it is it wasn't as much a flip as much as it looked like you just went one finger up and it just followed. It was a, there's something about Mary G's hair triangle. Yeah.

And I mean, I do have to say, you know, I've been quite, you know, as a journalist myself, I've been quite outspokenly, you know, critical of your hairstyle. For sure. Do you feel this was the most embarrassing hairstyle that you've ever had? And why is it? I'm nervous about you digging into your phone because I feel like my answer is going to be shit on by some some evidence or something. Just go ahead and answer the question, please.

Do I think it's the worst haircut I've ever had? Yes. Um, at the end, it will, yeah, just because like I probably got away with that for a little bit in the beginning, but when you wear it for until you're like 25 or six or something, it just doesn't, it's not good. Yeah. And then I guess my last question I had before I kind of go through. Do you, did you feel that with the hair flip at the inappropriate age of 23, a personality

came through with it? Do I think a personality came with my haircut? Yeah. No. Okay. What the fuck was this then? What was this? I mean, and I'll pose this question to our viewers, guys, what was your most embarrassing

hairstyle? I know in particular, I know a white person that had dreads. We'd like to hear from you. So this has been- Wait, wait, wait, host. What about you? You know, I think that my hair, first of all, I appreciate you were running out of time here. Um, I think as I have grown and developed into an individual at that point in time that

is consistently changing, I remain static and not necessarily- You haven't said a thing. I have had some varying hairstyles over the course of a couple of years. I would say that as well. There was a point in time where I did bleach the top of my hair and- What? Yeah. It was a summer of 2003 going into 2004.

We didn't hang out in the summer. Yeah, because I was away either at day camp or the lake house. Uh, but- Day camp. Shibbly day camp. Yeah. Now that I'm on a bigger fucking stage, I've said it before, but I was Spider-Man, okay? If that rock climbing wall is still up there and they didn't paint the inside, my name is

on the fucking inside of it, okay? But I appreciate you answering the question, guys. I posed the same question for you. What has been your most embarrassing hairstyle that you thought for some fucking reason worked? And listen, I'll do these questions all day because I just want to keep it frank. Are you done? I am. Well, that- that was a- that, like-

That was good. Yeah, it's done. Listen, I'm sorry I'm trying to be unique here. Was that a cry? Was that a tear? You know, I started it, had a follow-through. I often just do things and hope that they land. You know, most of what I do is, like, doesn't stick, you know?

But when it does, it kinda does. Right. It doesn't really hit that hard. So, I mean, since you want to bring up my past, we'll go back during a time. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you know. Back when you used to wear young GZ shirts? Well, don't fucking- I got that snow.

I got that snow, man. I got that snow, man. He- Frankie had a shirt that was glitter. There was glitter on it. There was. It was a black shirt with gray glitter and it said, I got dat- dat- dat. Not that, dat. I got dat snow, man.

Man. And then there was a picture of a snowman. For those who are not familiar, when you got dat snow, that means you got dat- Deco cane. Deco cane. And at 13 and 14, I did not- still don't have a deco cane. He don't. He didn't have dat.

I did not have dat. But and I also, I'm pretty sure that the one responsible for the shirt is your loving mother. Incredible woman. Who didn't know that she was buying a cocaine shirt. No clue. For her son. Literally no clue.

So people thought that he had dat. Listen, people thought- But he in fact didn't have dat. I did not have dat. Exactly. I had not dat. I had some questionable choices for apparel growing up. Yeah, absolutely.

You used to have the hoodies that would zip past your face. All the way up. Oh yeah, all the way up. And then they had little windows on the side. Yep, sometimes for your eyes. No windows. Sometimes blind. Blind as a bat.

My mom still makes questionable shirt choices. Two years ago for my birthday, she thought she got me a Captain America shirt. Nope, it was just a Puerto Rican shirt. What does that mean? It was the Puerto Rican flag. And she's like, it's Captain America. I was like, mom, look at the tag. It's just Puerto Rico.

Like she didn't believe me at first. It was literally just the fucking star, the red triangle and blue and white stripes. And I'm like, this is mom, this is so cute, but this is Puerto Rico. Which I am not Puerto Rican. And my mom was like, no, it's not. And I showed her the tags and I was like, viva en Puerto Rico. And I was like, see, how she had gotten you a Columbia shirt would have been a little more on point.

Right. But I did make questionable apparel choices, Joey. And I stand by all the ones that I made. Hey, growth. What's important is that we're here now. We're here now. And we're... And I don't have that snow.

Neither of us have that. Never had that. Never had that. Never had it. Never tried that. Never tried any drug, really. I've seen that. Oh, I've seen that recently.

Have you seen that? Like, I think like two years ago we were at a bar. Like you were there as well, bar in Astoria. And I went to the bathroom and there was a guy that took a key out and had it. He was doing that. On the key. He had it. Yeah, yeah.

And he looked at me and he offered it and I was like, no thanks. You're like, no, I never touched that. Don't need it. Yeah. But yeah, I had... I think that was the only drug related shirt I had, I think. I'm gonna... I don't know the answer to that, but I would bet no.

No, I'm pretty confident that it was. There was some stuff for sure. That era of my life has been appropriately nicknamed Snowman Frank. Yeah. That's Frank. That's Frank. I will find the picture. I have it somewhere.

Of you with that. Yeah. Of me with that shirt on. And you had a matching hat. Well, I remember the hat I was wearing in the picture. I was taking it at Remi Teen Night. Amazing. Amazing.

Awesome time. He used to grind on so much ass. Dude, 13 year old Frank was crushing it. Yeah. Just fucking... Just drinking... Just drinking cranberry juice. Shirley Temple in hand and just, you know, the world of my fingertips.

Did you sleep over sods that night? That night I didn't, but I was on the phone with you guys all night. That was one of the iconic nights of our youth. It was amazing. His older brother called me a sperm. Yeah. Poor sod. I mean, I'm pretty sure this kid was morally and financially bankrupt because of us growing

up. Like, not only would we take every ounce of dignity he had, but like, didn't our friends like hustle him out of like his like PlayStation? No, no, no. Pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. No, he used to make bets all the time. And he would lose.

And he would lose. And he would make like bets and like... But like that's on him making the bet. Fair enough. We would also break into his house. Well, break ends heavy. We would climb the balcony when he was not home and sneak into his house. Tell me.

Yeah. Statue of limitation, I'm pretty sure is gone at this point. I think we're okay. Yeah, it's over. And he was a good sport about it. Good guy. Great guy. First, I will say he repaid that favor years later because we he moved away at when we

were young. Yeah. And then he came back and was like visiting. Just showed up. Do you remember that? Wait. So he got me back because he just showed up to my house maybe 10 years after I had seen him and just walked in and didn't just walked in and luckily I was there because like my

mom didn't really know who he was, you know, because we didn't, you know, maybe she did, but like it's 10 years. She doesn't remember shit. And I was like, what are you doing? Yeah. He's like, what? And I was like, it's nice to see you, but also like to knock on the door. It's quite, it was quite common for him to not pick up on social cues.

Do you remember when he hit on my girlfriend who was sitting on my lap? I mean, he just went for it, shot for it, you know, shoot your shot, shoot for the stars land amongst the clouds, which I don't know what the clouds were, but the clouds were my lap apparently. Yeah. This was the same girlfriend that left me because she was in love with you and hear this again. I'm not blaming you.

I'm thanking you in hindsight. Let's be honest. Well, I dodged, I dodged bullet bill on that one. We're not going to get into that. What? What? You don't want to tell people how you were? No, I don't want to.

What am I? I didn't do anything. We can argue. No, I didn't do anything. I don't want you to talk your way into talking about someone else. Oh, gotcha. I'm going to move forward. Yeah.

I don't know where this is going. So I had a question for you. I don't know if you've seen recently, but like these people that are like calling people out and like on their weddings, you see this shit calling people out on their wedding. Dude, there was a video of this guy, yeah, marrying his wife and not yet. It was in the process. First of all, I think you sent me this video a couple of weeks ago, but like the wife is like giving or the soon to be wife is giving a fucking speech and she's like, I love you

for everything, for your highs, your lows, your perfections, your flaws. And his mom is in the background like squaring up like, you didn't have fucking flaws. I did see that. You saw that shit? It was like a redneck wedding. Was it? It seemed very trailer. It seemed like gypsies.

Wow. Really? I don't even know the magnitude of that word. I don't know what it is. I don't know what a gypsy is. I've seen a show and I just assume gypsies are at, no, no, no, like it, there's like my gypsy wedding. There's like a show, but they are like, they're very crazy people.

They were like orange dresses. They're nuts. They have just nuts, orange and weird colors, literally like where picture a bride wearing an orange dress. You're like, what kind of person would do this gypsy? I mean, it's, I guess it's a religious thing. I don't know what it is, but I know that the show doesn't do a good job. I know what you're saying though.

It looked like they were in like the basement of a senior center getting married. It looked like a, like a place where, you know, you move the tables out of the way and then 10 year olds play basketball. Exactly. Like a, like a travel league. Yeah. I'm pretty sure they were all sitting at those lunch tables that had the benches that folded up.

Yeah. It looks like a church basement. It does. Yeah. Like just go upstairs and have the wedding like a normal person. Yeah. We don't have to be down here. There's no sunlight down there.

There's no fluorescent lights. Also wasn't a lot of people there. Well, I think that's, I mean, maybe it's from recently. You can't do a lot with current. That's true. That's true. Also, let's just get into it. What a fucking psycho that mom.

Dude, my son doesn't have flaws. Well he does. Number one, his mom. Oh yeah. Big flaw lady. Bingo. Bingo. Bongo.

Bingo. Bingo. But dude, she got up and was like squaring up, like just like ready to fight the bride. And then I remember they were both like, you can get out. Well then you can get out. Dude, do you know how it like, listen, I'm pretty sure any person that I've dated, I don't think their parents could even, like I would destroy their parents. Oh.

If I got into a fist fight with them, I mean, Becca's dad I hear is pretty scrappy. But like any of my exes, their dad, I would fucking wash them. You're just going to save that right there? Yeah. You like that, right? Good job. Good job. But like, if I was at a wedding and like my significant other's parents stood up, you're

inviting to get the shit kicked at. Oh, this is violence. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like at that point, like just get ready for it. I don't know how, how can my, my son doesn't have flaws. That's insane. Dude.

I hit that. That lady is probably had a bunch of debt. Oh. She was rolling in debt. She, I just like, I, I'm kind of, to be honest though, like good on her. You know what I mean? Like good for her. Oh.

Like, do you know the balls you need to have to stand up at a wedding to like just like full on just call it out and she'd be like, Nope. Or how little self-awareness you'd have to have. Yeah. That's a good one too. Like how did they, how did she let it get to this point? You know what I mean? I don't know.

She clearly did not like the bride. Dude. I, and then there was another one where like these people are getting married and this woman storms in and she's like, don't, don't, don't for a second, she used the hands. I think. Don't for a second think that I forgot that you fucked me and gave me a kid. Dude. Dude.

I love the way that's worded because it sounds like, you know, we had sex and then you just gave me this two year old adopted it, gave it to me. Dude. I got it over. Good fucking, good for them. Like, you know how fucking crazy you need to be to do that shit? Oh man. Like.

That's scary. What would you do? Like I would, I would like pay someone to do something like that just so I can beat the shit out of them. What? Like show up to your wedding. And just scream. Excuse me.

So I did, so something that I was trying to plan for my wedding, the first one when I got canceled. Okay. What try are we on now? Uh, three. Nice. Yeah. Corona is what calls it.

Right, right, right. So we all know. Yeah. Um, I was going to have one of our friends try to interrupt the first dance and then I was going to slam them through a table on. If you would have done that, dude, you know how great that would have been to talk to. I didn't talk to anyone. Who are you going to talk to?

I was going to talk to Dylan. He wouldn't have done that. A thousand percent. He wouldn't. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't have. He wouldn't have. He wouldn't have.

He would have been too afraid. You really think so? I would have easily turned you down. Why? Because there's just no way I'm going to be that guy. Dude, you know how absolutely like just like pretend he's drunk and like, yeah, just be like, wait a minute, wait a minute, just cut up a sick heel promo. Just like interrupt the first day and we would both be like, first of all, I, if I didn't,

you would have had to tell. I would have had to tell a couple people. I would have fucking killed this person. I know. I know. I would have just killed. But how great would it have been if they interrupted? Because remember, like, you would have had to tell your dad.

A hundred percent. No, my dad, he would have been fine. Yeah. I would have been a bit... It's just... It's just... It's just... It's just...

It's just... It's closer than I thought. Yeah. Um, I would have told like people that I thought would have rushed. Yeah, yeah. You know, you, Danny, uh, both Danies, I guess. Right. Yeah.

Uh, my, maybe my brothers. Just so, just so they know. Right. Because there's violence they have. Because you know how fucking fun, do you remember years ago me and Dylan had like an ongoing like beef. Yeah, yeah. Where it was like, we would like, I would call, yo, I would call Bryant.

When he was still in Bryant High School, I would call Bryant and pretending to be his dad to try to get him on the phone just to be like, I'm your daddy, bitch. But it would never work. I would call his cell from private numbers. I'd call from work numbers. Are you kidding me? I would try so bad. I remember there was one where there was one where I got him on the phone and I was like,

um, you know, like the John Cena prank call. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I tried doing something along that line that I was like, yeah, you know, you're you're so and so is like trying to reach you and they're like, who? And they're like, one, two, three. And I was like, one, two, three. And he's like, one, two, three.

Who? And I was like, that's where you're going to hear this Sunday, brother, when I slam you, you know, just to try to fuck with him. But I'm your daddy, bitch. He would have lost his mind. Dude, I know it would have been great, but I would have asked him to do it. But I don't, I, I, I know Becca would have had a bad time. Dude.

Oh man. She would have, cause I think she said to me, like I said, like I wanted to do like I stun her someone or something and like the stone cold beer bash. But she said like, babe, come on, you'd be covered in beer. You're wedding. I would. I mean, it was going to happen anyway. You were going to be covered.

Yeah. It was okay. I was definitely going to be covered. The greatest party that never was is what Rebecca and I are calling it. Yeah. But we'll do something one day. One day, if you don't do it, I'm just going to organize like a fake wedding. I'm trying to be a hundred people.

Dude, we're trying. It's just no one is allowing us to do anything. No, yeah. Not yet. But I'm saying even if it's three years down the line, I'm going to set something up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, you okay? What happened there? I was just stretching. That was a stretch. Well, I was just going like this.

Okay. Where do you want to get to? I don't know. But I do want to mention that, because you brought up Bryant, when Frankie, this is Vin's favorite story. Vin. Oh, you're okay. Yeah.

My brother-in-law. I was like, Vin, who the fuck is Vin? When Frankie was in high school, he was very active in like, he was in the school play, the main character. Came right. You know, he would read announcements. I am Don Quixote. Yeah.

He was Don Quixote. Okay. And the fiddler? I was not the fiddler. I played Avram the bookkeeper. Remember Parchek, who started all the- We're not going to do this. So anyway, in high school, Frankie was like involved in all this shit, right?

And he would read the announcements. He was friends with all the teachers and everything. So there was this one day that our other friends who are a year younger than us are also in the school. And like, they're used to Frankie reading the announcements or whatever. And on this particular day, my friend Dylan was telling us the story and he's like, I'm in class and I'm just like, have my head down at my desk and I hear Frankie over the PA system, like reading the announcements, like, oh, I'll get your money in for the prom,

like, blah, blah, blah. And then at the end of the announcements, so before, before you get into this, so it was a thing that like, in New York City public schools, the announcements came on and was like, all right, I'll listen up. I don't know if you want to know, but if you got to get your days in and like you couldn't fucking hear a thing. Right. And it was just boring and like monotone.

So of course, when they asked me to do, I only did it like four or five times. When they asked me to do it, I was like, all right, but I'm going to make people listen. And they were like, how are you going to do that? I was like, I'm going to make a joke or something. And they're like, all right, take it easy. Don't say anything ridiculous. So I was like, all right, no. I was respectful.

My mom worked at my school, so I didn't want to get either of us in trouble. So I was like, I'll come to your class and fuck you up. My mom would have roundhouse me in the middle of fucking film class. And I'm like, don't worry. I promise. Like I won't say anything inappropriate. I won't say anything bad. And they're like, okay.

So the first time I did it, I was so nervous. I sprinted downstairs because it was like, oh shit, I got to go do this. I sprinted downstairs and I was like, I pledge allegiance and I was fucking nervous. And at the end, I was like, you stay classy, Bryant. I'm Ron Burgundy. And like just a little thing like that. And people, like I heard, like I was walking back to class and the people in my class were like, yo, that was so stupid, but funny. Like thank you.

And then through time, I was like trying to figure out, I did the Burgundy one again. And then I was like, yo, what? What can I say? That's going to get people to laugh. So go ahead and tell the story from Dylan's perspective. Dylan's in class. And he's like, he's like, yeah, Frank is doing the announcements or whatever. And then it's time.

And then he's like wrapping it up when usually he would say, you stay classy, Bryant. I'm Ron Burgundy. But instead he says, he says, and that's the bottom line cause stone cold said so. And fucking cut it off. What did you say? What did you do? Uh-oh. We're recording.

We're recording. And then. And then didn't they run into the room like you're fucking dude. So it was so the way that there was like this giant ass fucking machine at the back of the main office. And in the main office at the time was the assistant principal of like the science department. And he was like a very old school, very cool. Like we were super cool. Like I had a class with him.

He was an awesome, really nice guy. But he's definitely one of those like people like, like the teachers run the school, not the students. Like the teachers like, you know, I'll take four weeks off if I want to, you know what I mean? And I did that and probably rightfully so. As soon as I shut it off, I was with a girl. I think I was with a classmate of mine and she like looked at me like, there's no way you did that. And he stopped me. He's like, what are you doing?

He's like, do you think you run this school or something? And I'm just like, I have a smile on my face and he just starts barking at me. And the principal's office sort of was right next door. So the principal comes in and he's like, Frankie to my office. I was very cool with the principal, fucking like this. And he goes, dude, what did you say? I told him when I said he goes, did you say anything like irresponsible or disrespectful or homophobic or vulgar?

I was like, no. I mean, he just, he went through the laundry list of things I could have said basically. You say classy, Brian. That's gay. The fucking AP was reacting like I went, all right, Brian, have a good day. Suck my fucking dick. I was like, no. And I was like, no, man.

I didn't say it. He goes, all right, listen, like you're done. You can't do this anymore. I was like, okay. And I, yo, I walked out of that class, out of that office. Like I felt like I was fucking breakfast club walking out like onto the field. I heard the laughter from the room and I got upstairs like a fucking round of applause. And people were like, yo, you're crazy.

I remember when Dylan told that story, it was unreal. Yeah. When he told me that, I was fucking dying. Dude, it was, it was so great, but hindsight should have been suspended. Maybe, but I mean, worth it. I could have said so much worse. You know what I mean? Yeah.

You know, like I could have just been like, you know, have a great day, Brian. Just make sure you spit in my mouth, your little piece of shit. You know what I mean? Why would that be bad? I could have went with it. Yeah, I don't know. You were, you were a little troublemaker. You don't tell as many stories as me.

That's why people think I was like fucking baby Hitler. I wasn't in high school. I was a very good boy. Middle school, you were a little douchebag. I was fucked up. I was fucked up. You're a little douchebag. But I got into some bouts with a Chinese Spanish teacher.

I mean, I remember that. Yeah. Miss Sheik. Yeah. Oh. That was her name. That was her name. And then in high school, in high school, you weren't, I feel like you couldn't be bad

in high school because you were like, they'd kill you. It was Catholic school. Yeah. They would put a bullet in your eyes. Or they'd, you know, they'd do some stuff. Yeah. Which they did do some stuff. Not to me.

They, like there was like an investigation. I was about to, holy shit. It was an investigation open. Really? Way up. Like this was like within five years, it was like an investigation. Wow. Damn.

Any like teachers that you had or knew? No. No. No. No. No. No. I don't think so.

But like the principal's in hot water. Really? There were so many, like, I don't know if there were ever investigations. I know one teacher was just like fired for fucking a student. And there were so many other like stories or rumors that basically have students like, yo, do you know how fucking like, you know how wild that is? Like being a high school teacher and fucking a 16 year old student. Good God.

Who was it? There was some comedian who was like, this happened and the student died because of excessive high fiving. I don't remember. I saw that. It's like the South Park episode was like, was she hot? And he's like, yeah. And he goes, nice.

But like, I didn't, yeah, do they, was there oral sex involved? Yeah. Nice. You, that's the, that's the trick. You're rewriting the story here because I don't rewrite anything. You rewrite the story. You and I growing up were one A, one B. That's true.

We did pretty much the exact same shit. It's just, I talk about it and you don't. Your stories are just funnier than mine. Your stories are funny, but you, you just, I think, I also don't omit what are you taught? This is like a myth. It's not a myth. Also, you're here now, so they're going to come out. I'm not looking forward to it.

So you guys can look forward to, to all the stories. Yeah. A lot of stories. We're not holding back here. Yeah. I, I, Joey already gave me the, the, the lowdown and he said, you don't, you need to not hold back. Yeah.

And I'm not going to. Don't hold it. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I think we could wrap it up for today. Okay. Okay. Is your tantrum done? No, I don't, I mean, you know, I like this.

That's it. You don't do well with sentiment. You're not sentiment. I am being a sentimental. You're not. You just, you're acting like debt. Callback. Comedy.

Boom. That's how you do it, folks. That's what I mean. That's, that's show biz, baby. That's why he gets paid to $70 million a year. Oh, whoa. I wish. 70 million.

Dude. Holy shit. This stuff I would do for $70 million. Same. Dude. Everything in the book. Name it. Your brother-in-law, our friend Danny, uh, I remember one time I was like, would you

like suck a dick for a million dollars and he goes, I would, he's like, I would suck a dick in the Macy's window in Times Square during Christmas time for a million dollars. So funny. Yeah. There's not much. There's not much. He's married to my sister. So I guess he lost.

Yeah. But there's not much that he wouldn't do for money. Did I tell you I saw him the other day driving by? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Just drove by me and I was like, oh, hey, and then he just kept driving and I texted him like, you can't even stop you piece of shit. He goes, if you only knew what was going on in the back seat and his fucking kid was screaming. Yeah. Oh boy. Oh boy. It's my nephew.

Cute kid. Cute. Did you hear about this? Sorry. This is what we'll end on. They came over last weekend, the weekend after the couple of days after my birthday and my sister, you know, my sister's like, listen, like, you know, joking around. We didn't get anything for your birthday, but DJ, the baby, my nephew, you guys are calling

him DJ. Yeah. Danny Jr. Kind of hot. It's a hot name for a hot baby. He is a cute baby. He's a cute baby. They go now.

Yeah. He's going to, he's going to hit those years. That's all kids do. They were like, Miles, DJ, DJ, he got, he got you something and he wants to give it to you now. And I'm like, couldn't, like, we're all hanging out. We were in the pool, you know, like having drinks and eating and she's like, no, just open it now.

Come on. We, he wants to see you open it. And I was like, all right, all right, all right. Open it. I turned around and it's a glass with like a decal and I'm like, oh, pretty cool, pretty cool. And it fucking didn't register at first. I'm going to look at it and it said, Godfather.

You're the Godfather. Dude, I'm the fucking Godfather. That's tight. Dude. And I was like, did you start talking in an accent immediately? Instantly. I literally, I saw it and I was like, oh, pretty cool. You know, because I liked the movie, the Godfather.

I was like, oh, pretty cool. I was like, I should have made it. I should have fucking back up and baby cat. It was very cute. That's awesome. And then I got a custom basement yard cup. Really? Yeah, it's pretty fire.

I got to show it to you. My brother and his significant other, girlfriend, I feel like I should just call him sister-in-laws at this point. They're not married, but it doesn't matter. Whatever you got. Nick and Julia made it for me. It's a, it's like a travel cup and it has a basement yard logo on the back. It's Frank.

I'm like, fuck yeah. That's cool. You're the Godfather. But I think that like makes sense. No one else would be it. Who the fuck would be it? Any of my other brothers, Dominic. No, but you're first in line.

You're over the best friend also. Yeah, but like they're also like, that's like, I guess they're going like the actual like religious route, like because like the Godfather is like basically saying like, if anything happens to the parents, you take care of the kid. Right. And I guess that's like, it's like, okay, like I'll do it obviously, but like, dude, I'm never going to be, I have so because like Shannon's the most traditional person. And like, I think it's like, unless they want a Thomas or Shannon to have like four kids,

it goes in like a line. Like she's the Godmother and it's going to be Thomas for her and it's going to be Thomas for her. Or it's going to be Vin's brother and then it's like, I'm at the bottom of the totta ball. I would name like random people like the Godparents. I think Becca and I spoke about like, if we were like, if and when we have kids, do you do Godfather stuff?

Are you doing? I don't give a like, I don't know what I have to do. I think I just need to be there and just talking a funny accent. Oh no. I mean, you got to go to church. You got to light a candle. That's right. I remember, I think they were saying they're going to do two baptisms or whatever or something

to or something because there's like the or because remember, we're baptized Greek Orthodox double bath, double Bappy. And I just got to do the Godfather stuff, which is fire, which is easy, which is so cool. I was already the coolest uncle. Sorry, Nick. Sorry, Chris. I already was the coolest.

Let's be honest. And then on top of that, now I'm the Godfather. I'm the double coolest. We're going to end on that. I do the better Tony Sopranos. Yeah. But yeah, where can I find you, Frank? Well, if you want to find me, I'll be out shining, she'll got to go with Fat Tony and

Stupashill. F out, I'm sorry about that. F Albers 8.085 on Twitter and on Twitch, if you want to come hang out with me, play video games and sometimes get drunk together. See Frank Albers on Instagram. Check it out. Amen. You can find me at Joe Sanagato on all platforms and also go follow the show at The Basement

Yard on Instagram and our Patreon, patreon.com slash The Basement Yard, where you will get an extra episode of us every single week. Okay. So go check that out. We'll see you guys next time.