The Basement Yard - #259 - Everything You Need To Know About Vaginas

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

Frank & Joe know EVERYTHING about vaginas... just watch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Yeah start off. Yeah, you went back in that. I wish I could go back in this chair Yeah, you fit your head on that fucking wall too many times a couple times already many times It's been good though. I'm the brain damage for the show I'm gonna let you know now before there's any mix-up later, and you think there's a fire. No just farted Oh, but it came out hot and it kind of like I got the first whiff of it And it kind of smells burnt thank God it's not as hot out as it was the last couple days because lord Almighty the last day that we recorded it was fucking hot that would make me pass out Yep, I wouldn't be able to make my way through it

No, but lately I've been having really burnt farts like they hurt you no no no like you get no They smell like a like I get scared of like you know the kitchens on I left this smell like gas They smell no not they don't smell like gas they smell like burnt food That which it what do you what do you very well could be what is going on with you? Why I? He's letting sulfur just rip out of your fucking ash. There's volcanic rock in my aim. There is igneous Rock, what's that? That is the volcanic rock They're science. I remember that shit igneous igneous. Yeah, I actually had a 98 nerd sign. Let's go That was eighth grade dude eighth grade. I took mine late. I must have I think I took my I've literally failed every single science after that

Yeah, I think there's two months. There's math. I I went like that. It's I went backwards. I took like Chemistry then physics and then earth science Which would you should have done the opposite way my freshman year of high school? We had a class that was half the year was chemistry and then half the year was biology both halves So yeah, it'll suck those suck, but biology was when you saw the miracle of life video actually never saw it Oh, I didn't see it in school. I watched you watch it recently I remember looking at that fucking woman blowing a bubble out of her who ha

Yeah, dude a baby, but it was a bubble full of a baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, dude, and dude She had a hairy fucking good. Yeah, the video was made in like 1983 and the bush was fucking Thriving back and not even was the bush thriving, but like it was like wet hair. You know what I mean Okay, it was so it was like, you know when like you wet your leg hair and it just like falls in that pattern Mm-hmm. That's what it was it honestly looked like you ever watch the Discovery Channel and they get really close to a tarantula's mouth Oh, yeah, and it's got like beads of like water. It's like salivating. Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of what that looked like. Yeah teeth and all Yes, my yes, it's a terrifying video man for the people who don't know the miracle of life is the video that they used to show in schools

I don't think they showed anymore because you know Big old graphic kind of thing might be traumatic for some children. Oh, maybe maybe wait, you went great. Did you see that in 8th? I saw that an eighth grade. Yeah, that's early. Don't you think? Yeah I mean, I was I was already figuring out my own stuff. I might as well try to see, you know What I could have gotten into I saw it when I was 27 years old and it's not it's not easy to see I mean like it's just like crazy that like a human body does that You know what I mean, which is how to think like it reminds me of like the predator's mouth How it like fucking like drops it opens like that. Yeah, it's crazy. It's correct like dude the vagina, dude

It's like a cobra's mouth just unhinges. It's crazy place you could slide out really it literally is like yeah Like you pythons like swallow like whole like animals whole and then you're connected by the rope the cord They have bilkacord, which is crazy dude and then like There's like crazy like science that comes out of all that shit like stem cells and like that in bilkacord It's probably like the the cure to everything ever. Well, don't people like eat placenta. Yes, I do know I think I think I said this on it Would you do it? Boo, I don't know if I'd like fucking like saute it with garlic and shit, but I'm not asking you to you know

I know I think there's a thing where it's like you could pay for this and they'll freeze dry it and like put it into like Gel capsules and you could like pop a pill you can like fucking like you. I don't know why I did the goop Fucking the hell is that? I think I mean it's supposedly like really good for you, but I can't get past the Point where it's like I know what it is here. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot Yeah, I mean I don't even really know what it is to be honest with you the placenta I think is like the sack that the baby just like fucks it, you know, like not fucks, you know what I'm talking about No, I don't I thought they're not fucking in there. I know there's no one else in there, but they might be No, they're not

But like it's like the it's like it's like if your house was inside of a vagina You know what I mean? You like you live in this place. You're walking around. You're having a good old time You're you're sleeping you're waking up and you're eating Imagine if you could then like put your house into like a compound bucket and then saute it Does that make sense? That was one of the worst metaphors I've ever heard of my entire life I understand less than I did no no alright look don't even don't know follow me. I already I already know you're Confusing you're throwing me off. I'm not confusing you. Yes. Listen. It's it's the it's in the pussy. What is it? What does it it's like food for the baby? No, it's what they live in it. I believe I believe it's like alright

Imagine you're wearing a backpack and in that backpack you put a baby or no better Because you're not doing that wouldn't be the first time that'd be the eighth time But a baby in a backpack listen alright, you know how like Paris Hilton had like the little like dog bags Of course, okay Imagine the bag was the placenta Okay, the placenta. Yeah is an organ that develops in your uterus during pregnancy This structure provides oxygen and nutrients to your growing baby and removes waste products from your baby's blood I think they hang out in it. I might be wrong

The plus the placenta attaches to the wall of your uterus and your baby's umbilical cord arises from it Wait what I mean you're not this is more confusing. Yeah, this is very I'm also seeing What it is and it's like so we got a we got a the babe. Do we know so nothing about this? Yeah, I got a kid coming. Yes, I need to figure this shit out I mean you won't need to know what placenta. I might need you're not going in there and siphon through never know Maybe I will no But so the placenta is this on the bottom here, okay? It's like it's like the sack, but there's just a sack of blood

What's that for I think that like the placenta is like wet and red it is wet. It looks red I mean, it's definitely wet. I think it comes out. It's like raw meat looking go check it out Google that shit What real placenta real like a real life placenta amateur placenta? Why amateur? What does it need to be amateur? Okay, what real? Placent we're learning real time real time real time real time. We're learning about this stuff Wait, what the fuck getty images is the first link 459 placenta photos and premium high-quality res pictures. I need to see these

Well, you have to get a subscription with a hole Is it red dude, is it red is it this looks like is it thick it just looks like someone's ass fell out Let me see Whoa, let me see no Let me see. I want to see it. Oh, there you go. That's a good one That's a good one that looks like that fucking sad fish It literally looks like someone took a shit in one of those bags that they put newspapers in there It looks like it looks like it could be a colostomy bag. That's what it could look like right

But for someone who's got blood in their still damn babies come out of this shit This is ugly as fuck dude Bert's gonna be wack. No, Bert's gonna be beautiful. I'm gonna love it But I don't want to see this shit. No, it's beautiful. Obviously. I would swing because that's the umbilical cord I would swing that shit around like a fucking lasso. You know what it is about birth. It's really amazing While you're there Afterward, I'll put up in hindsight like a look back at birth. You're like, what are we doing? Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like it's crazy. Yeah, this is just a lot for me. It doesn't look very appealing It literally looks like someone's lung fell out onto the highway and then a car ran it over

You ever seen any movie where they have like a fucking like brain control device? That's what that looks like it has like it looks like it just throw it on someone's head like a french hat And it sucks the fucking brain out of it. It does look like a beret, you know It looks like a beret. So people are putting this in um Actually, that one looks like a stingray. Yep. Yeah, I could see that. I can see that a little bit So basically, uh for those who are learning along with us at this moment, which I hope is a lot placenta Is a vaginal stingray It actually comes from the roman god

of uh expanding vaginal orifices placentiacea I think you're confusing plantar fasciitis with you know, I was looking for that word Plantar fasciitis. I was looking for that word and I just I just started another one and just let it go. You know what I mean? Plantar fasciitis. I don't even remember the word I use. It's when you step on too many plants in your feet get fungus Do they? That's not what it is. Oh, but it's something with your feet plantar fasciitis. I know. Oh, yeah It's like a fucking like a googly foot or some stupid like a bone spur

Is that what it is? How? Are we gonna know anything today? Can we talk about something easy? We know nothing. Multiplication. We know nothing john snow I don't know what I just did. That was not. I don't even know what I just did. That's that's how far I know I've also been told I look like john snow Like like kit herrington and don't even say that you don't agree with that one. I I can sort of see that Yeah But He's way like he's like pale like maybe if you were like if you had food poisoning

Then maybe all right. Just give me some fucking some chicken nugs right now and I'll just I'll get chicken nuggets. Yeah, something to give me nice food poisoning. I'll lose a couple LPs How can you don't get food poisoning from my chicken nuggets? You could if they're under cooked Oh, that's no that's salmonella. Yeah, which I mean that'll probably do the trick also That'll do it. Yeah, that'll get you that'll get you right there very quick You know what throwing up's not all that bad. Yeah, no, I throw up free since december 26 2008 I remember that. Yeah, did you say you also started you stopped jerking off in 2008? You know I I

It was it was around that time But I will say that I stand by I think the concept of porn is very weird. No one's talking about porn I'm talking about yanking your game. Oh, well like, you know, you know There have been times where my lady and I have been like, how you doing? No, she's not included. That's not masturbation No, yeah Masturbation is you are the master and you're bait of the bait Yeah, this is the bait and you are the master of the bait and you take the bait every time That's what masturbation is. It's not someone else is included. Oh, so like you have to that's zed

Wait, so you're like just like wiggling your dick in front of you and just like go ahead and do it, bitch Yeah, and then he's fucking I put that's why people use lube because then it creates a shine Like a bait. Oh, well baits have shines. No a bait like when you put it in the water like for fish Oh, oh, so you're like catches their eye. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, I can't just go down there Are you the fish? Are you just standing up there and oh, yeah Attack that son of a bitch. It's the sun hits my penis in a way That It blinds me for a second. You know I'm saying like a catch you get that little like ray of sun in your eye

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not I'm thinking about it. I don't remember the last time I've had like sunlight on my dick Uh What I don't I don't remember the last time I've had sunlight. Oh just like like sunlight just like my Straight son on my dick at this point. It might burn up like fucking bill Compton. Shook it I'm telling you like I really don't think I can natural Son what yeah when the hell like what not even through like a window or are we not counting that? I mean, yeah, but like even then like I don't get great sun in my place Like I'm saying like I'm not I haven't been outside with my dick out in a while

Wait, that's actually that might be a good No, that is a good thing But also you have you have a you know, you could you could do it if you want in the privacy of your own Just standing in a window, but see you can't you can't just stand in a window. I stand in a window with my dick out I'm gonna get in a big time trubs Can you is that trouble? I would assume so because it's like a decent exposure and but I'm in my house Yeah, but like you're in front of a window I know, but I've been from my house. Yeah, but like these other eyes. I could she in I know

But then I got to be responsible for everyone's eyes What if I can't afford blinds and I have and I just I'm naked I could I'm a nudist I can be a nudist in my house I think there are colonies for that though. I don't think like you can just like be nude all the colony I know Colonies you need to like here is it you need to live in like a nudist like no Yes, you do you don't have to be fucking nude in your windows I'm not saying press your dick up against the glass. Well, what are you saying? I mean if I could walk by and if someone sees it oopsie, but I'm not gonna be standing in front of my window just fucking

Oh, no, I'm not saying standing in front of your window and like, you know People watch I'm saying you stand, you know, you have a nice cloth for the morning And you're like it's very nice day out and I feel like anytime I'm naked and I walk by a window I do like the walk from like signs. You remember when like they see the alien for the first time and it's like I No one's watching. I know that's the leg. I know no one's watching, but I need to get out of there quick Dude, how much do you not want to walk through a fucking cornfield? Oh never not even just because of what I'm afraid would I'd find Because why the fuck would I do that? I mean, I think it would be cool for a second two things though

I don't know what's in there And also I feel like I feel like there's a lot of noise and I'd be scared that there's animals like everywhere And also if I just happen to walk through and get to a crop circle Put me in a mental. Yeah, you're dead there. I I just tried to say institution. It didn't come out I will you you backed away. You it was a smart back away mental That's all I said Yeah, these people that go into like corn mazes is like what the what is wrong with you people have fun like that And was and like what's how do you have fun and how do you get lost?

You know stupid you need to be to get lost in a corn maze. It's a maze. It's but but it's just corn just walk through it You're gonna find the end eventually You can't just walk through it. If I get lost. I'm walking through. I'm breaking the rules. Well a maze is like They're like it's thick. You can't get through you can I don't think so. Listen, there's no bush that's ever kept me out Full skirt full skirkle first skirkle first skirkle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah already Yeah, I'm saying I'm saying like if there was like those hedge maze like in the shining the hedge maze ones I'm going right through that shit. I don't care how thick it is. It's greenery. I I will rule greenery in that situation

Whatever Maybe whatever What are we talking about? We started with placentes ended on hedge mazes. Yeah We're still on bush though apparently and but you know what we should bring up Our lovely patreon Forgot to do it again. I know I I reminded you right before we started too. I was like, did you forget? Yeah, I'm an idiot Guys for the people who don't know or you listen to the show

Go check out our patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard Every week you get a an extra episode that is exclusively on patreon. No one else of this show Okay, so if you want another episode every single week, that's where you got to go patreon.com slash the baseman yard And you get every episode a week ahead. So I mean, what do you want to say? What do you want? Oh, oh What was that? I don't know, but I Did you well, you okay?

Did you ever take up like a break dancing class? No, but I did go through a break dancing phase where I wore a lot of breakaway pants When was this dude like fifth grade? I had mad breakaway adidas pants. What is a breakaway pants the ones that have the buttons on the side? Oh, okay, rip That's more of a stripper thing than a dancer thing. No, I think that dancers have to be ready to dance at any time So why would they take their pants off and reveal other pants? I mean, you can't that's not you don't wear pants You wear shorts So I need more wear shorts to begin with because it's a pant I think that you're wrong. I know i'm right. No

I think that you're wrong and I think that you were meaning to like wear those pants Because you saw a stripper wear them and let's be honest in fifth grade. Let's be honest So a dude stripper every single person has wanted To rip their pants off like that myself included. I've ripped my pants off. Have you I had the breakaway pants I think I'm gonna wear them and not rip them. Yeah, but I was ripping them for no reason I'm saying like taking a shit. You know what I used to do Uh, here we go Wear those pants and just wear boxers like, you know, whatever. I wasn't ready to dance. I wasn't you know, I wasn't battling

Yeah, you weren't in the dance party I was going to say before was that people do that because they're constantly being challenged to dance Back in the day So they had to be ready to dance at any moment. This is a constant battle like yeah for dancers This is like the wild west of dancing out there. Mm-hmm. I don't know Anyway, I wasn't ready for that kind of thing. So I would just wear boxers underneath mine and when I had to take a dump Really It was the coolest shit I've ever taken. I want a pair of those now then

I know. I know. I don't know if they make them anymore. They have to I mean they make them for adult male strippers Not the child male stripper Adult male strippers. Yeah. Yeah, child male strippers. Um Isn't it weird that you can call like a child a male? Doesn't that sound so grown up? I mean I I stand like when Beck and I were doing like the little uh Gender reveal that we did he's a male. I wanted to say like she instead of going like boy or girl I wanted to say like guy or lady It's because it's just it's just you don't call a kid a guy. You know what I mean?

Or you don't but also you don't call it a male even though it is a male It's male. Yeah, I think that's like the scientific term like you don't call your you don't say your penis You know what I mean? Like you say people say penis People are saying penis, but they're not Confident people are saying genitalia. That's yeah, that's like that's that's just kind of like the blanket. I hate genitalia That's yeah, it sounds I'll tell you this though. It sounds like a dessert that I would like to eat I know but it also genitalia It sounds reptilian like it just sounds like it belongs to the other side. I'm see I'm

How you doing? I'm thinking like a nice like, you know vanilla custard That's what I'm thinking like genitalia like reptile and like I'm thinking like a dragon looking thing and like You know what I'm saying like something with scales. I hear you and like uh, uh, they eat flies. It's like a mortal combat character basically Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah genitalia. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I don't I don't like that people Use that so what word would you give dude cock dick penis any of them? Okay? You know what I'm saying dick is dick is the easy one like are we gonna say dicks a curse word Like in the new the news anchors that are talking about genitalia because everyone's like criticizing cardi b's new song Uh, wop, which stands for wet-ass pussy pussy

Are you okay? Was that serious the whole way through I tried which stands for wet-ass pussy Like that's what you did I fucked up at first tried to save it ruined it even further That's what happened. Yeah, but no, so all these news anchors are like, uh, she talks about her genitalia And I'm like dude, just say just say vagina. Just say you're soaking wet vagina But then they need then they need to like understand then they're confirming that you could call vagina pussy I don't think you know, you can go on the news and be like, uh, man, uh, this woman's talking about her pussy That's what we need. I'll tell you what if they started using the word pussy, I'd be hype

I'd be watching the news I'd be so high just waiting for a person Cooper's on there like this wet-ass pussy that they're talking about Yeah, it would it would be great. It'd make me tune in. I feel yeah, and I wish that like politicians could Like we just gave them pussy. You know what I mean? Not like gave them pussy. I mean like gave them the word pussy So they can call each other pussies. Oh, yeah I don't know about that one like some guy just come like can you imagine down in front of was had access to the word pussy Yeah, like he already hasn't yeah, I mean he has but it was Thousand private slash public. Yeah private quotations public. Yeah, uh, but imagine he could just get up there and be like, uh

pussy What do you want me to say about biden? He's a pussy. He's a pussy bitch I would be on board That's what i'm afraid of like if Kanye West gets into one of these debates He'd be like, listen pussy. Oh my god. Oh my god. Honestly, that might be a breath of fresh air But we can't elect these people. No, right. We know that right? I honestly we can't let politicians say pussy, but i'm just saying it would be funny It would if we just let them just like if there was like a late night debate

You know what I mean? Like it's like the debate for like the old people and then they had like a like one at like 12 Yeah, adult swim and it yes And then it was like the like this is the one you want to watch and trumps out there like listen I'll beat the shit out of you. Yeah, don't be a fuck bite me pussy. Yeah You know what I mean? That would be fucking great. I I'd be a lot. I'm telling you they're like not pc at all Yeah, there'd be a lot more there would be a lot more like young people voting if they had actually done that

Joe biden gay He was like, yo, what the fuck is this? Oh my god, that'd be so funny. That would be good. Also. I just want to say this now that we're on the word pussy I don't really trust people uh Who refer to cats as pussies? I I don't really like I think it's done like tongue-in-cheek. Like I don't think it's actually like that They do it like no, I feel like creepy like you like I feel like you know who does that creepy cat ladies

Yeah, like these are my pussies. He's my good little pussy. She knows what she's doing though She knows what she's doing like are you? I have you ever seen a word and it's like used in like a slang, you know like colloquially kind of like in those ways And you ever sat there and wondered like where the fuck did that come from all of them like Where did pussy come from who actually said like all right, lady Pussy, I'm here for your pussy. Yeah, but like and how and like where's the cat and where's the reference Where's this cat? I need to know because those are the things that keep me up at night Like pussies aren't like cats. Yeah, and cats

Not Vaginas right, you know what I mean like who saw it and was like that I don't know why I'm speaking like john wane here. Yeah, what you sound like john ham Yeah, but I don't know what like who saw that and was like That's a cat. Yeah, like why do we say that? I don't know I don't know and it has nothing like it's just there. There's got to be a way to track this back If we want to go back full circle again the bush

They both have but that's a bush. It's not fur. I mean it's fur. It's not it's not a bush. It's hair But it's not a bush is I got roots I got like birds. I gotta look this up. I do absolutely have a bush has berries And stuff a bush some bush do have berries. Well, um, all right. Let's see. Why where does the term pussy come from? Let's see I'm telling you man. It's probably But the origin of the word pussy It's pretty hotly debated

Oh hot topic one theory suggests and this is by glamour. So, you know, it's real One, uh theory suggested it originally came from the old norse word puss, which means Perfect pocket pouch Oh, wow, this is making sense now because it is a pocket. It's a for a baby and for a pee pee And a for where to pee a pee coming from. Yeah And where did it go? Yeah, where did it come from? So puss means pocket pouch. I guess so like just pockets. So they got Oh god, these pants don't have any but why are they calling it than a pocket?

Like what are they putting in there back in the old norse days? I mean, it's a pocket though But it's like maybe a pocket in terms of like We know nothing about women. Can we like just the vagina is a pocket. Is it? I mean, it's got a hole in it It's like a cavern. It's like cavernous. I mean, it is but so are pockets Not all pockets are cavernous. I would say that it resembles a pocket, but it does have a hole in the pocket I don't know about that because you could get you can get through. I think can you get through? Can you get all the way through? I don't know. There's got to be an end, right?

There's got to be like a game of thrones wall that we have to get a fucking there's got I've never made my way that far So I can't really speak to it. Oh, I haven't even you know I wouldn't I wouldn't need a miners helmet with a fucking flashlight on top of it to get through that Yeah, I had a friend in college who his saying was he'll never reach the end, but he'll blow the sides out Wow That's beautiful. I know I think that's a yearbook quote. I think it is I'll never reach the end I think it said like he's like I'll never hit the back of the tuna can but I'll blow the sides out Called it a tuna can that's disgusting. I know I know I mean I like tuna

also I'm gonna go on record and say this go ahead the whole like oh your vagina smells like fish I don't know where that comes from because I've never smelled a fishy I don't think so. I mean, maybe I've been I know it. There is additional hygiene that is required Sure, but fish smell if anything. I know I've smelled way worse than any woman that I've ever like come across I would hope I sometimes oh we spoke about this I sometimes smell myself and I'm proud of it. So a lot of the time though

You're not proud. No, I'm more concerned with the smells See, I'm okay with that because I grew up with my father who when he would take a shower The entire bathroom would smell. Oh, so I don't know what what he was doing But it was like and it also smelled like vegetables. Oh like a raw broccoli So my dad would get in the shower. I'm not against that. Well, it's not a Smell you expect is my point like he would get into the shower And he would soak the guy's a really good washer. Okay. He covered in soap guy, right? Oh, you've seen this I've seen it. You've seen your dad soaked up lubed up ready to go more than 20 times. That's

A lot of times. Yeah So he's yeah, we used to take showers with him when we were younger and he would call it the car wash and he would just You know, he was very violent with his hands. We my dad used to call it the washer machine. Really? Yeah Yeah, he called we call it the car wash because he was the size of a car. Listen dads Don't shower with your kids. I mean you could shower with your kids. I don't know about that. Of course you can I don't know. It's a little weird. Yes, you can. It's a little weird. It depends on what age they are Don't shower with your fucking nine-year-old

Maybe if they're like a one Yeah, like yeah one. No, no, no if they're like four Well, you have the memory of it. You're gonna tell me you remember when you were one show on what your dad Uh, I was I was a little older. You were a little older. Okay. I was like 34. Okay. That's too old That's a showable age. You're at dick height at that point in time. Oh, yeah That's just dangerous. That's no man's land. I mean, I wasn't getting hit with it. How do you know? I would know you ever wondered where you got that fucking dent in your head from Which one?

I Time flies by while the pendulum swings. Yeah, see that's why I would be afraid to shower with my kids because it would take one like just like unfortunate like Blocking are you gonna kiss your kid on the mouth? Uh, I think to like one year one or two years old. I would yeah You just smoked your kid. Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong, but like that tom brady kiss That's an old kiss. Dude tom brady also kisses his dad dude on the mouth mouth, dude

One the super bowl smooched his dad. I don't believe that. I don't believe that I don't believe that I don't believe on the mouth when he's an old man, dude Won the super bowl kissed him At midfield dude. No way. I don't think that confetti. It was a confetti cover kiss I need to see that if this man is his age It takes him out of the running for any fucking hall of fame that he'll ever be in dude Look at this fucking glorious. I need to see in love kiss. Hold on. I need to see video They're in love pictures could be doctored

I know videos can be as well, but I'm a bitch and I'll believe a video over a pic tom brady kisses dad If that's the case we gotta not oh, oh here we go. Oh, no, I think he Is it a video? Yeah, but this one it says he kisses robber. I mean he's got Edelman in his grasp right now So I mean if you're gonna kiss anyone Julian Edelman is a good-looking guy. Hey, kiss that guy There's too many cameras. I didn't see anything not apparently he smooches I mean like an accidental kiss on the mouth. No, no, no, this is a purpose. I like I need them to stop. Oh, here we go There's a hug there's an embrace wait, wait, wait

Come on Steve's you gotta say sweet this up. No way, but apparently he kisses robert crafts right on the fucking mouth Do it do it do it kiss him kiss him tom. You know you want to No way Give me that might have been Not dude, that was a purposeful happy. Love you kiss Slammed him. No, that might have done. Hold on. That might have been like right here, dude slam the owner

Kissed him dude. It's listen smooch an old man. Listen The idea of Tom Brady smooching the fucking organization listen, that's tampering This is very confusing. I don't know how to navigate these waters the idea of two men kissing. That's fine. I don't care I love it. It's beautiful. I'll kiss you right now. Please ask me but like Tom Brady here. I'm singling him out might

Might be a little too affectionate. I'm not saying that there's a problem with men kissing. I'm saying there's a problem with Kissing the owner of the Patriots. Hold on a sec. A happy kiss. Hold on a sec Tell me you wouldn't kiss Tom Brady on the mouth if he asked Why is he asking? It doesn't matter. Hey Joe, really like your little potty cast Can I kiss you on the mouth? Just one little tap I'd be like Tom. I'm not really comfortable with you yet Hey, man, it's me. Good old Tom Brady tb12 I'm married to Giselle Munchkin

Is that her name? I think I don't remember. Is that offensive? Did you just offend little people? Oh, there it is Munchkin Cancel me. You're canceled. I'm done. You're done. One while it lasted guys also dunking donuts calling those those donut holes Munchkins Hey, man Get him just saying get him I'm Tom Brady Would you let me no Really? It's not my type. I'll do it. You kiss Brady. Yeah, why not? He's not my type. I'll kiss anyone on the mouth

Why'd you say that like but you wouldn't other places Oh, yeah, well no one's gonna make you kiss anyone's penis I saw a video recently of like two guys like it was like a joke video It was like after you see your friends after the quarantine and he like grabs him and like kisses him on the cheek And I like laughed for a second. I was like, I can't I can't talk shit. I've done that I can't tell you how like I've been at like Drunket weddings and like grabs someone on the side of the face and kissed them on the cheek like I love you Yeah, I've done it. Absolutely. I've done it. That's like Pete. Pete's a big time face grabber when he's drunk

He wants to kiss you dude. Listen to me right now guys. Just an affection and listen to me right now Pete is one Glass of tequila away from just straight up making out with me making out with you. Yeah Like he will and he'll go for it too. Oh, yeah, and he'll like pretend like finger your mouth I will let you know this is abhorrent behavior on your part and this is disgusting But like Pete come on a little kiss. All right You know, you know, he'd be I have watched Pete finger your mouth Thrice that was like a thing of his in college like it wasn't just me

Pete would just go up to people and just be like, hey Yeah, he banged and he banged the fucking like he knock knuckles to teeth Like he was really hurting people with that thing. He was trying to make a statement. Yeah, I mean Pete That's the only thing you can put in someone's mouth without hurting them. You know what I mean? I know exactly what I cannot wait to clip this and show him. Oh, he's gonna be like you guys are so immature Honestly at one point are you gonna seize operations and speaking about my my phallus That's all right grow up Pete Loves big words that one. He does he loves it. He does he does and he uses them well, which is I guess good

You know in in the in the spirit of penis. Let's get to these ads. Oh Please tell me What it was one of the ads What? It was a layup for you. You didn't fucking take it. I don't know what you're saying But all I know is first ad is from uh, tom brady. He has given kisses with the promo code baseman half off They're all free. That's not bad. Yeah, so there you go. No, but first up, uh, we have uh native deodorant, um, which apparently my family is a giant fan of and I didn't know until uh,

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um, I am uh your host uh frank alvarez Uh, and uh, as always joining me is uh, my incredible sidekick mr. Joe sangatado. How are you, baby? I'm doing very well. How are you? Okay? So, uh, Joe this week on keeping it frank. I wanted to talk about something Uh, you've been doing videos for quite some time. You've been doing videos, uh for I believe about 11 years now. Is that correct? Probably not. Yeah, so As you have been doing these videos, do you feel that your humor has changed? Yeah, it has, huh? Yeah, what do you think if you if we're talking to 2009 joe, what's funny to him?

Uh Sexism I feel like when I was younger and I well 2009 it was before I started doing youtube, but it like 2010 you started It was a lot of there was a lot of like slut jokes that I've made in the past. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, a lot of that stuff. So a lot of it was satirical. It was pointing No, it was it was pointing, uh, you know holding a mirror up to society. No, there was no like real, uh Substance there was no substance to it It was just like I know that it like it's funny to call girl sluts. Oh, and where do you stand now?

Very different very different on the other side of the river. Yeah So you can go back and talk to 2009 joe. What are you gonna say to him? You're not funny literally at all, but then you might not you might discourage him There's an alternate universe where you don't become the person you are now. Yeah, it's an alternate one Not the one I'm in now. Damn. That's fuck him. I'm literally I'm saying fuck off to myself. Damn So you would agree that I'm so selfish that I won't even help myself That's nice to help myself and now you guys wonder why I complain that he takes 96% of all fucking profits That come out of this son of a bitch the number keeps getting higher. You're getting close to 100

I don't know where you're gonna go above that. I I reflect what is going on in this hellhole So, so Give me a snippet of you know, do you remember anything from videos that you used to say or do? Yes I do remember one video specifically You also by the way, yep, you were like very like yes, you were like, yo like what's all yo show? I was I was I had a crazy like accent when I was younger too and I feel like I was very uh Nasally like it sounded like my throat was this big like not a lot of You were congested. I get that like constantly though

You unlock the secret to life when you make over a certain dollar amount, you know after you made your 30 million Your voice gets more booming. Yeah, you get you get more powerful No, but I think back then like I had I was like, you know what I'm saying like Like I was you were I was you definitely were and this was also around the same time that you were uh a rapper No, I was oh my god. It was never a rapper. Also, you know, you know something a fun fact Tell me you weren't a rapper. I was not a rapper. Tell me you weren't a rapper joey. Okay You fucking dirty lying. Hold on. Let me let me get something the first video that I ever made where I was like talking to a camera You can't find it, but uh

I'm gonna fucking find the shit out of it doesn't exist anymore Unless someone like recorded it go on But the haircut that I had I got from Johnny patrup. Oh, yeah, he just shaved my head. Oh, okay Didn't line me up literally the day before you looked like a lot more like a neo-nazi than you do now where yeah And I so like and I didn't have it like my hairline was just you know

Just don't shape it up at all. Just let it be what it is And I buzzed it and then the I was talking about like sluts Let's say if you're sly, I'm gonna tell you something right quick. It's like, yo, uh, that's exactly what if you I mean, I'm playing it up a little bit. I sound like young m.a I thought it was young ma Yeah, I did young ma. Is she a girl? Yeah. Yeah. So why is that crazy? Young ma. Yeah young ma because she's a famous rapper. Okay, but I know it was just funny young ma. No, how's that? Not yet to keep it in frank yo young ma back to keep it in frank cello. What'd he play?

Uh the violin I believe one of those or the placenta. Yes So you would agree that your humor has changed through time Yeah, dude, I think it's supposed to because you met. Oh, no, what did you do? Well, I just there are certain things certain pictures that I always wondered, you know Like did you think that it was funny to post at at points in time in particular this one? That was actually a joke though That wasn't that wasn't that wasn't a serious photo. Are you insane? I think that was a serious photo. No, that was literally I know where that's from. Yeah, where is it from? Look at it. Look at your face. Make that same face right now

No Make it. No, listen That that is did you find that funny? Let me explain answer my question Let me explain That's from I think a vine Where I was making fun of girls who think that just because they make that Go on

Continue oh man I was saying girls who just who make that face And their caption is like I'm so silly and like they so badly want to have a personality that they make With it. Oh 100% okay. There's still girls out there that well ladies and gentlemen We exposed the hypocriticism coming out of this guy right here What are you talking about? You can join me next time where we continue to tackle the Intrusive and emotional topics of today on keeping it frank because you know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to keep it frank

Exposed to you you son of a bitch for what every single time I do that I'm going to expose you So they know what I have to go through Okay, um No, but um Bumch Bumch Uh fucking I wanted to talk to you also because there's this thing that I found I feel like you should know as a as an expecting father You should know

You need to understand you need to you need to come at conversations a little bit better I need to talk to you Now I'm on I'm ready like like hey, I gotta show you something. Ha ha ha. This is no ha ha. Why not? Oh, it's real. It's serious This is a serial ha. There's no ha. Okay. All right. What is it zero ha? So Obviously you have a child What are the child's like candy toys? Okay, but candy candy as well, but candy later in life They want candy. They always want candy. They always do But there was a toy that went like viral recently and apparently it's part of like a

Package deal, right? I don't want to get the name wrong so that everyone knows and you don't buy your child This is like something I could find in the stores right now. I don't know. I'm not really, you know, I don't know about toys The where and where they are. Okay, so I don't know But this one is called poopsie slime surprise. What poopsie? like poop poop see Slime surprise. Okay Which just sounds like a regular day for you. I know that No surprise there. I don't like this. No, but uh, no, so a dad had bought this poopsie slime surprise

Which it is what you think it's a poop. It's poop, but slime that they could play with. Okay. Children are playing with poop teacher from a young age, but there's uh There was a this thing right that has like a there's like a box in it And it's like a missing carton right when like a missing thing that they put on milk cartons back in the day So on it it said have you seen me? Right, and then there was a number And it was 1 800 too much Stop right

So it was 1 800 too much call it right now Well, I did before because I didn't know what was going to come up because like i'm going to tell you what it what what came up But it didn't come up anymore, but 1 800 too much Which doesn't even make sense too much. What too much poop Like and what if it's missing if it's too much How can it go missing and yeah, and and if it's too much you're okay with it missing. Yeah, like Too much. I need it back. I need all those then it's still An excessive much. Yeah, and it wouldn't be missing. Yeah, um, but

So you call 1 800 too much and it was a sex hotline. No So a little child's toy had this 1 800 too much on it So a dad like randomly was like, oh man, my daughter loves playing with this poop uh, i'm going to call this number And calls it and it was a sex hotline. That's awesome. Yeah, it's fucking cool. That's so cool There's layers to this gift Gift gift. What the fuck is a gift? I went to say gift But like this is also just gross so that poopsie slime surprise packs

Are actually pretty popular toys these days. Can I see them? Yeah, hold on. There isn't much to it unwrap it Smush it around in your hands And put the poop back in the tin As if poop needed to get any more interesting the packs come in different varieties Unicorn poop. Mm-hmm I've probably seen these because I I'll tell you right now miles loves some slime. Does he love poop loves? I assume if it if he could get away with playing with it. He would Unicorn poop panda poop, of course and uh

bedazzled poop. Mm-hmm and um scented poop It's all scented. I don't know if it but I don't think they smell like poop Why not? I don't know, but it may be a regular. Can I see these poops? Yeah, hold on. Let me let me type What are they called like oopsie poopsies or something? Surprise poopsie poops Have we hit the bottom of the barrel that we're just scraping and just giving kids literal shit to play with Scraping the bottom of the toilet for gifts. It's disgusting. Where is this poop? I need to see this thing

Show me the poop. Oh, here's the poop Wait, no, that's a bag These are poopsie poopsie cutie tootsie surprise That just sounds like an ice cream. Yeah, those are poops Oh, oh, they're like little collectibles. No, but you can smush them like poop. They're like little collectibles though Why are we teaching children to play with their poop? Why not? What else they gonna play with because they can play with their knives joey? No matches joey Who's giving them first of all? You know how hard it would be for a baby to play with a match?

I could barely lie. Yeah, I never understood that where it's like, you know Don't teach kids to play with matches like they couldn't they're a little dumb idiot What are they gonna do like you're gonna lie to match and then certainly not gonna light it like those fucking cowboys They can light it with their teeth. Yeah, what the fuck is that and also? Yeah, the people I I've tried this to light a match with my snap by snapping my fingers. I'll tell you this Doesn't work. Yeah, I don't got the fingers. What about the ones where people take a match and they go And they can light it. I mean, it's all about friction. You could probably do that. Yeah, but also you got matches I'll do this shit right now. You're not gonna light a match with your teeth. How much do you want to bet?

You're also not getting up right now. I can't if anyone's getting up. It's you. Yeah, he's not though, but uh We're giving kids poop. Yeah, I mean, what else are they gonna play with, you know, like we action figures fucking I will say things that aren't just give them regular slime. I gotta call poop I don't know if it's I don't know if it's just miles because You know the only one that I live with and like spend time with but like kids aren't into action figures like we used to be That's because there's no marketing dude. They like when we were cancers all about action figures It was all about, you know, fucking the gorgonites, you know, transformers Bing bang bang bang boom, you know, like they don't give a fuck about that

We I got miles like five transformers for his birthday He plays with them and he just puts them down and then he goes and he plays with a fucking ball of yarn I don't make this up ball yarn. What is it? Was he a cat? He wakes up like a cat sometimes He does he plays with yarn. He does you drink milk out of a dish Dude, his idea of having fun is playing with yarn and pretending to be a cat Does he hide on the fridge? Dude, if I was he couldn't make his way up there, trust me if I was a little kid I would be like, what is what's going on? I want to play with my batman I want to play with my spider-man. I want to play with all of biterman

You know, you have multiple men. Yeah Why aren't kids into action figures anymore because the the commercials do you remember? What happened to this kid? You remember this kid from from the toy commercials back in the day? Oh There's that one kid that was excited about everything so pumped and he got me every time it was like, oh It's because like yo the way oh no way. It's double trist double double blasting batman and his trusty psychic fist me robbing Yeah, and then the kid would be like oh

And then batman would just be like yeah And it would be like on like a tabletop with like rocks and smoke and moss And they would be like, oh my god, like who's gonna save the day? Who's gonna get the evil joker? And then it's like the mom with the joker like ha ha ha You have to do your chores Dad hates you. He sleeps with his uh a friend She's like, uh, what what you pussy or pussy just like joke Oh god

Oh, man. Oh, I wish as a kid I knew like the verbiage I have now Do you know how many kids I would call pussies and assholes and pieces of shit while I was like a four-year-old I vividly remember your brother calling you or saying the word shit And you telling on him just so you can say shit to your mom I remember this vividly I'm your brother your brother said shit And then you're like oh and then

I followed you to your mom nice and then you were like mom Chris said shit and you loved that you could say shit because you were like telling on him When was like what happened in your life that you then realized you can curse freely in front of your parents Do you remember like when that was? Dude, my dad still won't let me curse like in front of him and he when my dad curses to me on the phone He apologizes immediately. No, Joe the fucking oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My dad. I am your dad 28 A simple sentence from your dad is like It's like pandora's box

He can go off on any word and make it a whole other story. He also has a way of connecting every word with Yeah Figure it out and I don't know. Yeah, it's just no You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I don't I don't know anything you're saying your dad needs subtitles some of my dad needs speech therapy I don't know about that. No, I know about it. Oh, okay. All right. That's fair. You're a better judge than I am My dad also would make this sound when he would read the newspaper just

Like Jabba the hut dude your dad Used to sit at the back of the table all day with the newspaper in his with broken Reading glasses on and I don't think he was reading anything. I think he just sat with it. They're seething just like One day I'm gonna beat this shit out of these kids My dad had my dad, by the way cleans his ears with his car keys When he gets ear infections, that's actually how how do I get them? Probably from the fucking keys dad But the other thing that he does he had he had these reading glasses that were like gold and and round like

You would imagine Santa Claus had nice and they were broken because he broke them but he refused to get another pair they were probably he probably got them in a quarter machine and This part just snapped off So he would have the part that goes on your nose and then one Ear side and this one was just shattered or it was drooping downward and he'd be using that And then he would scream at his glasses and spit at them when they would fall off his face That's awesome because he'd be reading and they'd fall off his face. He'd go, oh Spit at the glasses

Your dad was always a fun time Oh, it was just a constant show I like I remember that there was one time that I used the word scumbag in your house and it was like I basically was never allowed back in I called Barry bonds a scumbag and your dad Barry bonds It was a scumbag He had his home run, but yeah, I always was I think I've said my dad wouldn't my dad still won't let me curse In front of my mom. He doesn't like if I curse it from my mom or something. I let it fly in front of my family

I don't and and I think as soon as I went away to college I came back and I just like tested the water and like oh, yeah, that's what it was Yeah, when you start testing the water and your mom doesn't say anything you're like I think one time I was just like I was like angry and I was like, oh this is fucking idiot Dude, you know, my dad used to do like looked over like you know, my dad used to do like when we were old enough to drink If we were like sitting in the basement, it was just like me Keith my dad Uh thomas and like maybe one of his friends, right? We'd be having a good time and we're like three hours into drinking and he goes guys. All right. You know what you know what?

I'm gonna lift the cursing ban Thank you. Thanks dad. Thanks a lot dickhead like We were cursing this whole time like he would act like it was this big thing I'm gonna lift the cursing ban like fuck you dude. My dad there was one Christmas where I think my brothers were 18. I I was turning 21 in a couple months And my dad because my dad my it was always different like my mom was never like okay with us drinking But like she knew it happened and she was like just be safe. Don't get into cars. Don't be idiots. Just be fucking safe. My dad

No fucking clue my dad. I didn't drink until I was fucking 21 according to my dad I know now he probably says the opposite but like he had like no clue because my dad's sober my dad's been sober for long long time. Yeah, and I remember there was one summer where like my Christmas my dad was okay with the idea of me drinking because you knew I was in college And it was happening. So my dad was like, all right. And so on Christmas. He bought a bottle of Patron And you slammed it and well, no, I had a couple drinks And I remember that he was like all right with then let it because it was that's what it was It was like my sister couldn't do it. They were okay with me doing it

my brother's got to do whatever the fuck they wanted And my dad sat there. It was like, all right, you guys want drink? Okay, and he'd pour he'd pour three shots. He'd be like For me my brother's like take those shots and promise that you'll never leave each other We take the shot. All right, you pour three more take those shots Then you'll always love each other and we're like dad like after like the sixth shot. We're like taking fucking easy I understand dude. He really said it's a problem. He said take these shots and make sure you'll never leave each other Yeah, yeah, because that was like a big thing. It's like in my family. It's just like you always remain close

You got your family, you know, and so it was like he would sit there and make us drink to it Because that's what the spanish do You guys are a bunch of pirates. I guess so my dad was literally take these shots. You'll never mute me. Yeah All right, my take in this shot right here. You'll promise you'll never leave each other It literally yo, that was an amazing pirate fucking don't ask me to do it again Not gonna be able to do it again. I literally thought I was sitting across from long john silver He would do he did that for like six seven shots and my brothers and I were like after like an hour and a half We were like dad, you need to fucking chill. It's like dad. We get it. We love each other

Like it was like christmas eve. So he like wanted us to like stay up and shit like at the end We were all just like fucking hammered just ripped ripped to shreds Oh, yeah, no, no my dad always like was a little not naive But like we were good at hiding it and also my dad just like didn't want to know my dad used to tell me Anytime I went out because my parents were like we're cool with us drinking. They never really had a problem with that Um, but we didn't start drinking like Consistently until I was like 18. I don't think no no we drank before that but not like, uh, maybe I'm lying maybe like 17 I would say consistently like make it a weekend thing. I would say 17

But like we were like 15 dude. I used to drink a lot at your house A lot of what I said a lot at your house. Oh, yeah, it was all my house Yeah, it was crazy. It was all my house and I'm like your mom would go away for the weekend Yeah, like we're gonna duct tape 40s to our hands. Fuck. Yeah, dog and holding this piss as long as weekend and We crushed it and we did and but then there was also like we would like randomly Like do you remember when like we knew kids that would like drink like book hearty in the fucking park? Yeah, and like we'd go there for a night and then just run home just be on the swings. Yeah drinking What are we doing? Very stupid, but um, yeah a lot of it was at my but again like my mom's big thing was just like

You know, we were always responsible. Yeah, it was just like What I remember one time We were drinking at your house And it was me you Keith and josh and I think espo as well espo back then would drink for five seconds lightweight throw up everywhere And be asleep espo threw up on my stairs and then fell asleep on the stairs Threw up onto impi's lap on your stairs. Yeah amazing. Um, but no, so we were we were drinking and we like

I think we were like of age at this point I think we were like 21 and and we slept at your house And then woke up and I remember waking up and like everyone was covered in like drawings Like there was like a permanent marker on people. Yeah, Keith and josh and Keith and josh had it too Keith and josh Drew on everyone's face and everything. We were definitely not 21 at that time But you go on I don't know and then he drew on everyone's face and everything and then drew on themselves So we wouldn't suspect them but we found it out

Very smart. There was one person that uh, because that was the big thing is like we Like that's when we were in high school. It was like you fell asleep drunk You drew on them There was someone that at my house fell asleep in my room And if you remember I had like that white Slatted wooden wall I do their face I drew like a giant dick on their face like pressed up against that when they were asleep And they woke up and it was in my wall

Like I don't know. It was basically tattooed on the wall Yeah, that one backfired on good fucking memories man. Yeah good old time It's kind of was broke his own neck I remember waking up one time like hung over at your place and the church bells were going off and then Keith goes Is it ash Wednesday? It was sunday morning. Yeah. Yeah, we we started drinking at an early age pretty early age I think compared like comparatively to like everyone like in high school because I was going to like My freshman year like kids were like drinking every weekend like at parties. Yeah

And I never did any of that of high school. I mean we definitely drank like 14 15 I didn't drink at all. No, that's not true. My first time drunk was with you and it was at my house On new year's remember when we slept. Yeah, but that was an isolated incident Yeah, like we weren't going. I mean I I was like going because that's when our sisters went away to college Yeah, I remember you went and I went like a couple weekends and like hung out with them and I was fucking letting it fly dude You know fucking dumb that is on her part. Whatever. Can you imagine being in college? I'm gonna bring my

15 year old brother here. We had a good time. I'm sure you did. We had a grand old time. It was fun Those pictures were all over facebook. Oh, I still have them I still have them and they are just and I promise just as bad as they were back then Yeah, it's like me and like a fucking 2xl echo polo. That was white green white blue purple Yeah, I still have that and I'm like he's got a reptar themed shirt basically But I did also then at another point in time have a reptar shirt. Hey, that's a good shirt to have full circle full circle. Yeah Oh boy but

What was that I just lost my train of thought like I had it, you know, you've been doing that recently and it's gone. I think I think I'm like losing it like I'm telling you I'd say that I think it's going I would definitely say that I think it's going because someone else pointed that out We're like I love when frank just starts talking and he's like I have no idea where I was going Yeah, well, that was a that's something I said, but I also uh Boy, oh boy Is that happening again? I think I'm thirsty. I think I need water. I think you're thirsty Think I'm dehydrated

You know what they say like dehydration like fucks with your brain flow and shit like that I think it might be part of it. Okay. We need water in here You look like you're in panic. Let me take it from your plant tree down Let me take it from your fucking plant. I promise that the new setup that we're having because I am moving god almighty I will give you real fucking greenery because I can't take your fake shit anymore. That's the thing. I'm getting I'm getting new plants But I'm gonna say no, you're not getting new plants. You're getting plants plants um, I'm uh, I'm moving in a week Well, this is what recording well from one recording. I'm saying after this

Like next episode will be the last episode that we record damn. All right, peter this dude. Yeah, I'm not gonna miss it It's not that special. I mean, you know, it's a part of your part. It's a part of your life Yeah, it is a part of my life You know what I did every every room that I've moved out of in college I I took off the plates of like the the light switches and I wrote my name on the inside So one day I'll go back and they might not be there but they might be Well, if anyone's gonna paint the wall, no, correctly That's what you your name's gonna be painted over. No, listen to me

You put you did it on the inside of the on the light switch. Oh, I thought you did it on the wall. No on the cover So if they change a light switch, then we got a problem. But if they don't we're good. We're flying high You feel good knowing that you're inside of a light switch. I mean, you never know I might go there when I'm like 50 and like, you know unscrew the light switch and it's like frank alvarez That'd be cool Frank alvarez. Yeah, someone sent me a picture of a textbook they had in high school like, you know, I got your textbook And it was my name that I wrote in like 2000 whatever the fuck really you like 2008. That's pretty cool I you know, I love shit like that. I think that stuff is so cool that you write your name in a textbook

No, but like, you know, you know, you know, what's cool book sleeves Oh book covers. What is that? It's book socks book socks. Yeah, those shoes I used to put them on my head And like it had like the cape in the bag you wanted it to be a durak. It didn't I did yeah Uh But those like think about it think about it like this that guy is holding something you held in your hands at that point in time Who am I george washington?

But that's that's fucking cool Like doesn't matter if you're george washington or not like I think about that all the time Like I'll hold something that I had when I was four years old and be like, yo, like I I had this Like little four-year-old me also had this in their hands and now look at me That doesn't fuck with you. No, damn. Do you feel that way about like when you drink a can of pepsi? No, no, no, no, I'm saying like actual like sentimental valued things. What about wine? You're like, uh, The hills of tuscany. There was no, no, no, no, I'm talking Italian men made this

I'm talking like I for instance Do you remember when we were in pre-k and we went to a pumpkin farm? And we got pumpkin rocks and we painted them like pumpkins. Yeah You have that I still have it I still have it. I used to have that And it was on my mom's stoop for so long. It's in so many family photos. I have it still gone Well, mine I still got that's interesting. Yeah, okay, and that that's cool You know what's sad? I don't really have sentimental value like to items

Oh, I do a lot a lot a lot a lot. I mean you collect stuff. So yeah, but like Even something as stupid as like, yo, you can give me like a quarter And I will die before I get rid of that quarter. You know what I mean? I just like I don't I would like to I hope that like that changes when I have children eventually Sure, it will because like you're like, oh, I'm gonna keep their first shoes. Yeah, I'm sure my mom's a fucking She can't throw out anything. I mean I can throw it out like I'm good at like Like being like, all right, I can get rid of certain stuff but like certain stuff that I like a lot I have the main instance. Okay, good

Hold that question. I have I don't know if you remember this There was a night we were in high school I was like a junior or senior year of high school and we played Edward 40 hands And it was me you Lawrence Manny and Dennis What a crew great crew and I had a three inch nail And I put the tops to the 40 can on the nail Do you remember that no because there was a night where where Manny went to go fight someone And he took that nail because he was going to try to use it to stab someone

It wasn't going to do it classic classic classic queens But I like I still have like that's what I'm talking about like I have that You have that. Yeah It means something to you. Yeah, it brings me back To the knife fighting days. Well, I wasn't no one was fighting with knives, but like it just it brings me back to those nights We were young little men. I guess so. I mean, listen, I I would love to You know, whatever I just don't have like when someone asks me the question like if your house is on fire

What are the three things you would take? I'm like, I really don't care. Oh, I'm taking it all Like literally I'm the person that's like I'll prepare for that Like I'll be like so what are the things that you would take like the most like what would you take? I mean, I want to make sure my family gets out safely Not including them I'm talking about like the things that I would choose are just the most expensive things like see I don't think that would be mine Mine would be I have a an extensive record collection Do you think you could run out with a whole collection of records?

Some of them. I mean, I I I think I could okay um I would say My like I have like in a big like Sterilite tote, you know, like a plastic tote. I have like memory like memories Like like fucking like my old like, you know, like my hat. I made him pre-k and shit like that. There's a piece of spit on your beard Yeah, that ruined me. Oh my god. It just flew down. It wasn't a piece of spit. What was that?

No, that's a piece of spit. It was just like Bubbles I'm telling you I'm thirsty but uh, it's like a fucking dog and then uh What's the third? I don't know. I don't know like maybe some family pictures or something off the wall Let me ask you a question. This is the question I want to get to because someone asked me the other day And I was like that's a really good question. You know when someone dies And then you get those cards

Mass cards the mass cards. Yeah, what's the deal with those? I still have a lot of them I still have a lot of them too But it's like Like I still have the one from our friend Stefan who died. I still have I think I I'm sure I have that I just don't know where it is. Yeah, but like Whenever you get one, it's like what is the Like it's like a trading card. I forgot who asked me It's like, yo, do I can I throw this out or like can I not throw this out?

I don't know. I was like, I think you just throw it into a drawer and you forget about it And then if it disappears, you're not like heartbroken, right? It's like you can't purposefully throw it out You you misplace that it's like a bible. You don't throw out a bible. You just put it for someone else to find Yeah, yeah, no, I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah, and what about also cards? When can you throw out a card? I keep all my cards. I have cards from when I was like 12 All my cards for me like in my opinion if I give you a card As soon as I Leave the place where I gave you that card

Do whatever you want with it. See, I don't know. What are you gonna reread it? Well, I mean maybe years ago like like my dad I get I get that from my dad I know it's like a big thing with my family But like my dad like he told us like quite clearly like when because my dad wants to get cremated He's like put all the cards you kids ever gave me in with my body when I'm getting cremated I was like, oh, okay. It's nice. It's cute sentimental I got a bunch of cards. So never give me a single fucking card. I just want to make sure I know that really Yeah, but I don't think I give anyone either. So whatever your dad your dad wants to be cremated with

Paper. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah I'll be like colorful Oh, no at the ash. It's all ash. Never mind. You have to dump them on the years of golumbia My dad said he wanted like all of us to have some of his ashes. He wants some in the lake Uh pontoon send it out. Yeah, and then he wants some in uh with like his mom brother and dad are all in the same like Little place in columbia nice ended dark

dark dark started with Bush ended with dark. I need water. I need you to get me water You see how we just did that in that episode started with birth ended with death This podcast is good. Yeah, tell your friends about it. Tell your friends, dude Bassman yard youtube.com slash bassman yard says the bassman yard the bassman yard patreon.com Patreon.com slash the bassman yard. Yes, and and at the bassman yard on instagram And where can they find you? This is a seamless ending also. We're doing this

F-albers eight zero eight five on twitter and on twitch if you want to come hang out with me play video games And sometimes play video games with joe and the frank alvarez on instagram Yeah, and guys go follow me on instagram at joe sanagato and my twitch stream twitch.tv slash joe sanagato We're screaming out of your guzz. Yeah, he needs all the help Blondes have way more fun Do you think I would look good blonde? No, we'll see you guys next time