The Basement Yard - #277 - Our Most Famous Guest

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

On this week's episode, Frank & Joe discuss their trouble with Kelly Clarkson while also announcing their new dream guest. The show goes on! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You just fucking your mouth like a bunghole. I just said bunghole. You did too. Like it's 1998. Like it's 1998. Welcome back. Oh my god. Bunghole.

I was going to do the intro. Welcome back to the... Bing. Bing. Bing. Yeah. Welcome back to the basement yard. Thank you guys so much for having me.

Josh, leave all that in. What did you say? Just leave that in. Kill him. Yeah, at least call him. Wow, we usually add stuff out. Now we're leaving stuff in. With your military haircut.

Don't do it. Okay. I just got it. So you need a day for it to like at least like... Did they fucked up? Who's they? You think there's a team of people cutting my hair? Who fucking knows with the amount that you can't fucking...

Oh yeah. I know. I know. I was there. They don't knock you out. They pushed your hairline back a little far bud. Well, what are you going to do? Sometimes you got to...

Tell me you're balding. No, no, no. I just have a white person hairline. They're classically not good. I don't know. Push your bangs up. Push, push, push. Push it up.

Push, push. Push your bangs. All right. You're not that bad. It's like a head vein though. Got along right? Oh yeah. No, yeah.

That keeps me alive. Does it? Yeah. I mean, it feeds blood to my brain or something. It's somewhere. It might take blood from your brain. That I don't know. Yeah.

Well, we're not doctors. I could feel it at the direction of the flow. Put... Yeah. Do veins go in one? Okay. This is going to be easy. Here we go.

So, Noah, well, go back. No, I was going to say like veins. So like your veins. Is blood only going one way or is this like a two way street? That's a good question. Guess what? I don't know I think it's one way it's gotta be one way and then they have to have the other side of the highway Going the other way that's can't be true because like you ever see like a like a diagram of veins no

Well, okay, I think I've seen the one of like the nerve endings No, no, no, I'm talking about like veins veins right so like a vein goes into your finger, right? There's veins everywhere. Yeah But is it does it just like turn up like is there a you there's a you in there does it end? It has to end I would I would assume every vein has a beginning and end. Yeah, well That should be every really good rock like punk rock song Everything starts and finishes Sign me up No, I think I agree with you on that one

I think it like you know like if you push water Against the wall like it comes back a little bit with waves with waves exactly what pulses it exactly It's not it It's the heart so I think I think if you like Like Like in the middle it like Mushrooms around the sides and the sides it goes back. I think that's what it is. I think we just figured it out What is the end of a vein look like black? Oh, oh

No, something about that seems oddly insensitive. Yeah, when a white guy says black nowadays, you're gonna go wait Yeah, you know, I don't like what colors your car black. Whoa. I Don't like I I want to like Ask like what's the appropriate terminology now that people won't get offended when you when you refer to their skin tone You say black. I that's what I think you're brown olive But I think it's really like the way brown is like Indian. I don't think anyone uses the term brown 100% They do they yeah, who Indians do they yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, they're like a brown guy Um, I didn't I didn't know that I didn't know that but calling Asian people yellow now

That's me an hour now we're approaching territory back up. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying what other like I guess there aren't any other skin tones besides like White brown black yellow. Well, don't there he is cancel them got them guys. I got them. I picked them up I got them and picked them up. Which one the yellow you just said yellow. Oh, well, no, I'm you know, it's a caricature I get that Joey. Oh, yeah, I get that I don't even I guess like back in like the 40s when there was all this propaganda about Jews like weren't they like Depicted as being like lizards or something like that Yeah, I don't know. Let's just tiptoe back away. What about the Irish? What are they doing some they're the Irish are red Were they dude you guys are not at all Native Americans were yes, but like the Irish that the classic Irish flush

Oh in the face. Yeah, dude because we're always drinking always No one gets upset when you say things about the Irish Because like they haven't like there have been points in time where they were oppressed but like not as much as like other people You know, dude, you got to fight the Irish. You just put the Sun out. They all run. That's it They scatter like like cockroaches. I knew someone who punished their kid by making them sit in the Sun Dude, that's fucking hysterical. Yeah, and what a weird like just beat your kid Dude like a normal person. No, like that's a thing. That's the thing is make them sit in the Sun and then beat them. Oh You hit a sunburn you hit a sunburn you're talking people up. Yeah, it was it was at the lake house

Our buddy. Well, I won't say their name, but Made him he got in trouble for stealing his parents cigarettes with with my brother and they hid for the whole day Did they slam six? I don't know if they slammed them. I don't think they did probably wait Why did so they were like you're gonna get sunburn. No, so they're there their parent was like Yo, just put him to sit on the deck in the Sun until I get home from work And it was like noon and they didn't get home until like four. That's hilarious fucking hysteric Like don't move just sitting a fucking chair in the Sun for the whole day. That's kind of like holes You remember that movie? Yes, I want to get creative like that when I punish my kids

But yeah, just go on the yard and dig a fucking hole like that's what I don't want a treasure I don't want to like like the classic like give me your toys You know sit in your room for an hour like that doesn't work anymore because kids go in the room and they have everything at their disposal Put some effort into this punishment. Don't just jab your kid in the mouth. Like let's just let's come up with something cool I heard one the other day. I think I'm gonna do get you make the kids throw out their own toys Damn, that's gangster. That's so fucking thug. My dad never threw out our toys Actually one time he smashed a Rex toys. Remember the dinosaur from Toy Story. I'm not Rex love that toy The big one but out me. Oh, it was like it was like this big. Oh

Sorry Kelly, but it was like that but like he was walking down the stairs to come yell at us and He slipped on this toy Big man big tree fall hard. Yeah, you also had one step in going into your basement that just didn't exist Yeah, it was absent. It was guys. No joke. There was one step that there was no step. No step. We lost a step I don't know where it went to be honest with you. So he just smashed on to this Oh, yeah, he hit the ground mad hard. Like he hit like a stair and then he like slid. Oh And then he picked up this toy and he's like you're always leaving your toys around and he spiked this thing like Gronkowski dude and your dad's got your dad's got some power behind those rotator cuffs

Oh, yeah, he if he spiked that that thing was shattering into a million pieces. Well, it did really yeah He fucking spiked it But that's the only time but another time he threatened the one time literally he said this to me He told me my brother. I forgot what we did probably something stupid and then he was like prize. It's a bridge He was like, I'll go get the miter saw and make you stand behind it while I cut your PlayStation in half so that all All the shaping all over you that is fucking awesome. He meant it that is awesome He never did it

But he really like was creative in the ways of like threatening see it's tough because I play video games So like I'm not gonna smash the video cuz like I'm fucking hurting myself, you know But like I think I'm gonna be creative with the kids like that like oh you love you love this little fucking Robot that you made guess what into the fucking like into an incinerator Yeah, like I think just to be petty. I want to get a fireplace just to throw toys in it Yeah, that's it. Wow. See what I'm talking about probably stuff in a fire Gangster and like I'll like I'll put some of that like are you afraid of the dark powder on it, too So make it like blue poof. Yeah. Yeah, oh sure making believe those saying there was there was someone that like when their kids

Were bad. I saw this online somewhere when their kids were bad They were putting they had wrapped just like empty boxes and put them under the tree And when their kids were bad, they were just throwing empty cardboard boxes into the fucking fire Awesome. That's a good idea. Awesome. Oh man destroying kids lives Just something about it. So dude I was having this conversation recently and you don't you don't realize because your family's still very young You know like the two your your two nephews are under one years of age. Yeah It is psychological warfare with kids like it's no like people are always like, you know

Be nice and I love them and yeah, like the great moments are great But like when you need to fucking like let them know who's boss You need to like really like dig deep and like fuck them up not like physically Just you want to ruin the mentally exactly you want to you want this to leave a lasting impact until they're 45 At least At least 45 I want to get creative like that man. I just want to like threaten them with weird shit Like I beg all you all you love coffee cake

I bought three and I'm spiking all of them every single one right in front of you So like I'm throwing this one against the wall. I feel like sometimes you need to just get them things To then take it away. Yeah, like let them know That they're fucking little bitches You always get violent with children. I'm not I I've never I've never put my hands on a kid Imagine there have been times where I've wanted to punch kids right in the fucking teeth Not my own or any one of my family like other kids strange kids. Yeah a strange children Well, I mean, they're the best candidate to punch because no one finds out. Yeah, they're like

Who's gonna find out just give them a fucking knuckle sandwich? Yeah, you know, and then you go you tell me and I'll hit you again Yeah, let them take that home. Yeah. Yeah, let them fight those demons. I gotta do it I gotta do it back always says like, you know, just remember your kids are gonna see these episodes one day and when they do They're punished because you shouldn't be watching fucking watching your room right now to hit you Can you imagine if I timed that correctly where I kick the fucking door down when they're watching this? Sign me up. Yeah, I mean you go down in history like Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Yeah, that would be good There that'd be really really good, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you look cozy today cozy. That's a bigger shirt than you normally Yeah, it's a bigger shirt. Is that like it? What is that? Let me guess Joey?

That's a medium on your twink fucking body. No, it's a latch. Oh, it's a large. That's what Joey looks like That's what Joey looks like in a large. I didn't mean to try to fight your I did I did you try to fight your um I was gonna say your umbrella We're both fucked up. We're both we're a little stressed. Let's be honest trying to fight your umbrella We're a little stressed. I found out I could possibly be cursed That's right you did I might be cursed like full on I think might is a stretch I think definitely is more so your speed. I think that might be it. Yeah, how have you been sleeping? Well, we'll back I'll I'll I'll preface this. Yeah, okay. So for those you guys that don't know my wife

Incredible one great woman so smart. Yeah, except for now just an idiot right here right here Fucking idiot Sorry, yeah, you know, I remember I she's great. Oh, oh beautiful. Like, you know, yeah, but right now fucking not not We should throw her out like so just a second. She's a garbage. She she's a lot more so I'm not religious. She's not really religious either, but she is more in touch with faith Yes, then I am so she always believes in like these like this was this is a sign from God for sure And you know, I sometimes struggle with if I believe in God sometimes I do sometimes I don't you know, hey Thanks for what you've so far bestowed upon me, but also

Remember when you almost you put a softball in my ass, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, also ferrets like ferrets tics. Yeah, I say tits. I was gonna say wait So she's walking on the beach and She's like happy Which good happy place. That's where I want her to be. Yeah, happy happy beach. I don't like the beach That's another story for sure She walks past brush like on the beach like yeah, you know fucking garbage is And she finds she she like double takes and looks back and sees ahead

She pulls out a wooden like totem Mm-hmm of a fucking person with a baby on the front and a baby in the back And then the carving of a fucking spider demon objects. It's it's we're done. Yeah, and She's like she sent me a picture and I was like listen cute put it the fuck down Run get the fuck out of there. Yeah, and she was not say three Hail Marys and an act of contrition That's what I'm saying like go like wash your hands in holy water. Yeah, like it's not just about covid washing now

You need to wash away the demons right? Yeah. Yeah, and she brought it home Mm-hmm, which room is it in the the we were in there in just in like it's it's it's Presence in it is in every room. Is it like in the living room? It's yeah. Well, it's alive then Because that's a living room and I'm like This is some fucking Jumanji shit, you know, you hear the beating of the drums on the fucking beach And then there's spiders that come for the seal. Yeah Yeah, what is she doing? This is why this is why you know, we this is everyone has flaws You know what I mean just point point of my wife's flaws. Go

There's a video there's a clip from this podcast that went viral of you going That you said I couldn't call you something is over and I was like, all right. What can I call you and you're like fat? Oh My god, oh, yeah But yeah She's great, but you know My voice cracked and like I haven't been sleeping. Well, well, that's because there's a demon hiding in your house

There has to be there's a demon. I object. Look if there's a demon in there He's watching this take it easy You know, let me sleep But like seriously, what if this is like some like spiritual thing that like is from the Titanic? It's not Actually heard a conspiracy about the Titanic that it wasn't the real Titanic. Here we go And it was a different boat like I give a shit A boat sank

I mean a lot of people a lot of people died a lot of people still died No, but I'm saying like it doesn't matter what the name of the fucking boat was that wasn't Titanic That was the this sulfur like cool. That was the queen Mary I don't a boat went down lady. Who cares? Yeah, I've I've always wanted to like leo died Spoiler by the way. Oh, yeah, well Let him know leo dies. You don't want you don't want them to be caught off guard. Yeah, would you have saved leo? Like Sorry, like maybe die Uh, yeah, the water's cold. I don't want to go in there. I don't want to go in there

Yeah, nice people like there's room for two on that door or room for one very comfortable person. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Like don't get up. Yeah, if anything out of acts for his shirt for a little more warmth That would have been the opposite Because she was not as wet He was in it. Oh, they were wet, but like he was he was in the wet That's true. She would have had to like ring it out and like yeah, well you girls gone wild that shit to get the water out Oh, yeah, you could do that. Could you I don't know or just steal like an old rich person's blanket or something I don't know. I always wonder would you have would you have jumped on a life boat? Yes, or would you have been like, yo

Women and children for real I mean depends Am I on there with my Partner no, no, no, no. Let's just say by myself. Yeah, you're right. I'm getting on that fucking boat dude In the matter of life or death in that time also Every man for themselves. We got polio for that. We got stuff like this is like I I am all about doing the honorable thing But not at sea but not in the face of death. Yeah Exactly, you know what I mean? There's a fire and your kids just walking slow

Stampede Like they're a different like I I am very well aware the reason I have not gotten into like public service Is because I am too selfish in that regard like these people that are like, yo like like my heart Fucking like bleed for people that have lost loved ones in like 9 11 and shit because that is that is a level of courage That I will never fucking have

Like I'm at the level of like, yo like Maybe I'll like I won't take the last pretzel out of the fucking bowl You know I'm not there yet. Yeah, those are the honorable things And I just like I couldn't I I don't think I could get to that I just feel like you know on land Like I I feel like if I'm walking down the street and I see a burning building and I see like, you know a kid Like trapped inside like a part of me wants to believe that

I'll at least attempt to be like, let's see if I could do something here and try to run in the building save a kid But at sea That kid's going in the water. Oh my god You know how many octopi are in there? Yeah a lot. You're taking a bath You're you're not coming up. Listen, Gerald. I would be the type that'd be like Uh, you know waiting and then like as I'm gonna run in is when the fdny like shows up like here I go. Oh you got it All right to fake it I was good at God. I was ready. You're talking to the news. You know, I was gonna run. I was about to run in

You know, you walk over like a piece of wood and you put some dirt on your face. Yeah It was hot in there Just keep talking about the soot. It's like oh Stay low. Everyone stay low All right, like I got conspiracies it could have been the the the radiator On the second floor. Yeah, I've seen something like this before I've seen a fire before I've saved many buildings I just like I I know and like that's why I like this whole thing with this like wooden totem that Becca brought in She was like, what if it's like a sign that like I'm gonna be lucky into

My motherhood ask her if she's ever seen that movie Because I've seen only the opposite of that. That's what I'm saying. She's never she grew up not watching horror movies There's not one thing that points into like, oh you found this on the even a message in a bottle You open up a message in a bottle and it's like, oh, this is from a family that died at sea because of the pirates They raped and pillaged and then they someone wrote a note and put it in and then you're you bear the You know weight of the haunting that is coming exactly Yeah, I just she she she grew up not watching horror movies and stuff like that Her parents were religious to the point where they were like don't watch the smurfs

Don't don't watch horror movies. Apparently it was a big thing in the 80s Like smurfs were like the satanic panic like part of that. I heard something about smurfs and jews Like it's like a jewish thing Oh or an anti-semitic thing. Maybe I don't know. I mean gargamel looks like what Oh, that's what it was propaganda. So that's what yeah of a jewish person. It was gargamel. Oh, I said this I said that we talked about this on one of our why do I know that? I've like looked up like a fact or something We talked about it on a patreon episode

Which you can go check out patreon.com slash the basement yard where you get every single weekly episode a week in advance And exclusive content every single friday morning. You don't want to miss it basement yard Go to patreon.com slash the basement yard. Do you like that fucking transition you son of a bitch josh Give me your race give frankie. Uh, no, just kidding. What are we talking about? So close so so close. Um, but yeah, I can't believe that she brought that back. That's like, you know Let's step one also honestly a little selfish of her because if she I mean I know she doesn't know this because she doesn't watch horror movies But you know the minorities die first. So you're the first you're dead

I'm long gone and then also she dies very late in the movie like right before it ends and then the kids Well, no, she's haunted. She's it. She's a sex-having heathen. So she's dead right after me Right. Yes. Yes. That's what it is the horror movies. It's the the hispanic or black character first Of course, then it's not that my you know, then it's the sex-having one What does that mean? Oh, someone's having sex actively actively having sex and then it's the like You know like super promiscuous thing. Oh, let's go Let's go fuck. Yeah, you know like right into it. Well the hooker. Yeah. Well, I mean, I mean that I was just being You know offensive. Gotcha. I meant just like a promiscuous woman. Gotcha. You could do that white privilege

And uh, then we and then the virgin is last obviously Well, yeah, because and they're protected by you know, their pureness or whatever the fuck it is. Yeah So no one's gonna no one's I mean, I'm actually a question about virginity. Oh boy When do you lose your virginity? Not like an age like what what act? Like blow you blow you blow someone right? That's not that's not what I consider to be virginity. Okay, but there's like There's like nine virginities. There's finger virginity junk off virginity, but you don't have a jerk off virginity If we do I tear that to shreds Dude, if I had a hymen

Good god, I'm saying man arts and crafts time scissors and everything. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah Made a snowflake out of it like you'd be duck walking through a pile of fucking blood That's a disgusting imagery, but um, so like virginity, right? Let's say we're both gals a couple gals. Yeah, um You suck a wiener You virgin Are you like, oh, I lost my mouth virginity. Like how would you bring it? I don't know. I think it's how you classify I think from like where we grew up I don't know if the I don't know like I think the like girls around us when we were kids because we know because we're girls

they classify their virginity as Sex as as penetrate penetrative vaginal sex, right, but Does a full penis have to enter you or can you like let's just say a tip goes in because I don't know I mean, I guess it's I guess it's how you I'm not asking you for like I'm asking you for your answer Oh my answer. I would say like the first bout once you breach once once you breach like whether it's like with like It means you need to get the tip in at least it needs to be a penis because if you like start and you get the hole in And then you back out like the p-hole Oh, oh of the tick. Yeah, I was confused. So like this is this is your dick. Of course it is minus a couple feet

This is the hole and like say like the head like ends here You need to get to the head you need to count for that to count. Okay. Yeah, if you don't The the as long as the tip is fully in we've lost virginity. I would say so. Houston. We have A problem. I would I would I would say so That's what I would that's what I would think what about anal stuff Dude, there are people that like just like throw that asshole them round. Yeah, like religious girls Dude, that's what I'm saying. Apparently it's like I won't god won't let me fuck you with you know, my ching chang Yeah, but like I'm gonna fucking throw this booty hole on you. Yeah, exactly those girls are like you can't have my purse

But I got a burlap sack for you And then And then they do anal and they go i'm a virgin It's like yo your ass We knew a girl like that in Astoria who reportedly Reportedly and it came from guys. So it's probably not fucking true But reportedly she would not have vaginal sex but was like Like like her ass hole buffet style was yeah, that's what it was crab legs at the china buffet

You know what i'm saying like anyone just go and grab it. Yeah You know like they were for everyone like Yeah, you know what I mean you know Consentually that's why it's just confusing because some I remember like thinking like some people are just like oh, yeah No, but stuff that doesn't count. It's like if you want you a lot of people I'd say that are religious because I think that I think from what my understanding of the bible is which is none It's all about like vaginal sex. I don't think it specifies like into the Does that mean they weren't I mean they had to been analing back then they had to dude the ancient greeks

Were so in love with buttholes. No, I know they were just firing it up Dude the spartans were like yo like I'm gonna go slaughter a whole village But before that tear my ass to shreds. Yeah, it makes me it makes me stronger. That's what I'm like They were all about it. That's crazy, man. Do you ever think people? Oh gosh You ever think like at some because listen, right? I always I look like You can't even get it out. Listen to me. I like to think that in the beginning of human times People would just experiment with their bodies like trying stuff out and they're like, okay

Not that not cool like whatever Do you ever think that some people thought that they could eat with their ass? So they put food in it without a doubt There are people during history that died because they put a piece of fucking rhubarb in their ass I don't know, but it's something that would probably go out like I just imagine people like you hunt a bison you cut it up And they're like, oh, I know I could eat this way, but what about this way? And they're just shoving there's packing fucking raw meat in their ass. Yeah, which you know, you get very sick couldn't you

From raw meat in your bloodstream like directly into all right, maybe yeah, but like cooked meat I think you'd be all right. I think so, right Like how bad could it be corn? We know you're gonna be fine because you know, I'm pooping out corn left and right Not that I'm eating corn. Well corn is like the body's like kryptonite the human body can't like process corn Yeah, you could drop a nuke on a cob and it would be fine. Dude. It's completely it'll make popcorn Which is a different food. Isn't that nuts? That's kind of crazy to me. I love popcorn. I'm a food But I'll be another wait. We're an idiot. We're stupid. What did we do? But did we just compare? What?

I was just thinking corn was popcorn It is but not like corn on the cob Like I mean if you heat it up. No like a corn on the cut wait If you heat up a corn on the cob, I think let me just get this ready So a corn or a corn on the cob. I I think if you Now you're at your think I'm This is bad. I'm pretty sure

God we're so dumb A corn on the cob. You think if you put that in the microwave it becomes popcorn after a while It's a while two minutes on high. So I think it needs to like dry first, right? No, I think popcorn kernels are like different, dude like they're like We're at that computer bench. I just I feel like I need to call somebody is corn popcorn That's what I have to look up. Well, it's popped corn But the corn it can't be the corn kernels. It has to be like a seed thing

Like whatever that is. Yo, this is bad Each kernel of corn is actually a seed that most seeds contain an embryo Hold on someone's delivering a package. Oh great. I think I think it's corn, dude. I think it's different. I think popping corn is different from like eerie corn But I'm pretty sure they're one and the same I mean I think I'm right. I I am scared of what people are going to think of us. I have a master's degree. He does Not in corn. None corn. Not in agriculture. Not in agriculture. Absolutely food science and agriculture

I don't have food science is a thing. I think so. What has to be we have to know. I would assume so she ends up Yeah, I don't I don't know about any of this corn stuff. Oh, man You bit popcorn guy. Love popcorn. You burn it though, right? I love burnt popcorn Yeah, but fuck all these people that like kettle corn because guess what it sucks Kettle corn's not good And like these like people get like blue popcorn. It's just like sugar and popcorn. It sucks too also like Caramel popcorn caramel corn is a little different. Well, like what about cracker jacks? What the fuck is that? Is that popcorn?

Yo, I have no idea what a cracker jack. I think it's its own line of like Human existence. I think that's popcorn. I think it's popcorn just popped in caramel, right? I don't know bro, but if it wasn't for baseball games That's no one would eat that. I like I like cracker jacks. You've you've eaten it outside of the stadium. Yeah Absolutely freak Miles like came home with a box one day and was like, I got this for you and I was like, wow, I forgot I love he a child gave you cracker jacks. What's up? Talk shit. What is he born in 1920? I can't wait until your nephew's coming to you with like a piece of like a fucking Toblerone

And they're like, I got this for you, uncle Joey. You'll cherish it forever I'm gonna beat it over their head and say get me a Mike and Ike's or get me a fucking Snickers like a normal American Fuck you and Snickers. No, I like Snickers. Fuck Mike and Ike's though all the way. Fuck them. We've talked about this ad nauseam Ad nauseam. I think that's what the sighing is, right? Yeah at the mausoleum Getting to the friends of the show we're getting to the friends of the show before we get into screaming at each other Let's talk about something nice. Uh, we have one day. You should let me do the ads. Cool Better Better help we have better help here better help. Um, you can talk to licensed professionals that could help you with online counseling

Um, they have a bunch of licensed professionals like I said that specialize it Start it again they have There goes They have a bunch of licensed professionals that specialize in like depression anxiety relationships or any sort of thing that you're kind of going through They have someone for you. Um, you can get you can start communicating in just under 48 hours And it's very easy to transfer counselors to find the right one for you But if it's something you wanted to try this is a good way to start betterhelp.com slash yard

You will get 10 off of your first month if you go to betterhelp.com slash yard Um, but yeah, there's been a couple people that have reached out to us and said they've been using better help And they've been talking to a therapist and they enjoy it. You can also text them. You can video chat them or talk to them on the phone Whatever you want to do, but yeah betterhelp.com slash yard, you will get 10 off of your first month So go check it out. Tell me how it is. Let me know Next we have stamps.com stamps.com brings all the services of the us postal service and ups right to your computer wherever you are It's a must have for any business. All right If you want to print any official us postage

You can do it at any time just from the comfort of your own home if you have a computer and printer Um, you don't have to wait on any lines at the post office or anything like that So it's very convenient and you not only save time, but you save money as well. You get five cents off every First-class stamp and up to 40 percent off Priority mail and up to 62 off of ups shipping rates So yeah, saving time and money if you're going to be sending stuff you might as well be using stamps.com There's no risk and with our promo code basement You get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale

No long-term commitments or contracts Just go to stamps.com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement that is stamps.com And the promo code is Basement. Okay There you go. Uh, and lastly here we have headspace headspace It's the new year People want to have resolutions. They want to do different things and some people want to get into meditation I at one point in my life where it was like super into meditation

Uh, you know meditation joe as you know, oh, that's part of it. I don't know kind of throw it in there But uh, yeah headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy to use app Very easy, uh, you kind of have to like work up to a longer sort of meditation So they give you like a 10 minute experience 15 minutes 20 minute But you work way up and when you get really good at it. There's a great way to relax and like You know kind of clear your head. I think it's very healthy to do that from time to time and headspace does a great job and clearly people agree Clearly people agree gets falling apart

Because we there's over 600,000 five star reviews and over 60 million downloads. Okay, so people are using this It's it's the place to be um, but yeah, go check out headspace at headspace.com slash basement That is headspace.com slash base Slash basement, uh, you get a free one month trial with access to headspace's full library of meditations for every situation Headspace.com slash basement Today again one free month trial with headspace. Go check it out. Go meditate That was nice

One day i'm gonna do the ads and that's you know, I've come I've come full circle Do you want to do them? I wonder I'd like to do it next week. I can do it next week. Yeah, that's really really generous of you Or we'll split them if you want to do that. I don't know if you want. Yeah, baby steps Like you introduce me to it, you know, like put the tip in me and then like figure out like where we can go from there Does that count as virginity? Uh, I think it's a little bit. Yeah, I think I'd lose my virginity there What do you think the the um Uh-oh, oh god

The like sexual ladder. What's at the bottom? Oh, it's a dry hump. Oh like sexual Or like what could lead to sexual? I would say like yo, I used to wrap my foot around this girl's leg when I was in sixth grade In class like your foot or your leg So like my leg so like we were we were like you would tangle your legs. Yeah, so we were dating But like we didn't want anyone to know So in class under the table, we would wrap our legs around each other This is the person who I would write love notes to and I would write my name is chester

Why'd you do that again? So we didn't get caught obviously. Okay, you know, was there a chester in your class? Nope So who did they teacher think chester was not me? I Used to hug her leg with your leg I like just like wrap our legs around each other and it was like I remember it was so like that was the way that we showed our affection at that point because like we weren't gonna like Whole hands because what were we gay? Like

That was that was at the time like that was the way that it was like guys would make fun of you Like our friends would make fun of us. Oh, you're holding the girl's hand. Yeah, you fall. Oh, you're you're holding their hand What are you gonna do? You know play with their balls next like It was fucked up like it was it was mean Yeah, you know, but that's how we would show like our affection back then, you know, that's good I remember uh in what grade was that Maybe seventh grade or eighth grade. I was dating this girl and we used to hold hands in this one class We had the entire time

When I tell she just read she was like Did a real good job. She ran hot is what I'm trying to say I don't know what that means. She had a very high natural Body temperature. Oh, she had hot poms hot poms very hot. It was wet in there. Yeah And there and literally I'm not making this up at points. I had to be like Yeah, man, I get right back and it was also like the heat of the moment too Like you were probably amped that you were holding hands with a girl fully erect, you know I mean you were definitely pretty pumped anything touching a girl's back in eighth grade was fire

Feeling a bra strap, dude I do you remember when it was like a thing? It was like, can you unclip a bra? You know how hard that is what what I'm saying, but like that is like I just like realize that now Like that's no longer a thing. You know what I mean like everything was one-handed too It's like can you undo a bra with one hand or can you open a condom with one hand? It's like What the fuck do they think you were chris angel? Yeah, it's like It's on yeah, mindfreak a bra. It's like Duh

It's like, all right, come on. I remember I remember that there were girls that had the bra that clipped in the front Oh, now we got clips. It's like science now. Yeah, Jesus, you know bras aren't meant to be science There's those one bras that have like a little fucking like it's a maze. I gotta like find the hole to get out. Wait, what? Yeah, it's a weird clip. I don't remember those but the sexual I would say like the sexual ladder would be just like hugging Or like oh like are you meaning like we're gonna we're in a room alone and it's starting now No, no, no, I'm not saying like One time I'm saying like naturally

Basically the bases, you know what I'm saying, but there's more than four bases Like first base is this second base is this blah blah blah. I'm saying the very minimal. I would say like intense making out Oh, like like and I'm not talking like I'm talking like to the point where it's like you don't care about Like the idea of kissing anymore. You're just trying to get your tongue down that person's throat and vice versa Sometimes you're like, I hope our teeth clash dude. They're They're teeth clashing. It's going on. I've clashed teeth That's what I'm saying Clash teeth with a girl while you're making out with her and then you feel like you're tasting like smoke

What? Like, you know when you go to the doctor the dentist and they like drill and it's like this has like a But it has like a smoky feel to it like a taste a little bit. Yeah It looks like you chip your tooth or something or you you you really grind a tooth. You're like a little smoky I'm not sitting there just fucking like starting fires in each other's mouths. No, I'm not trying to do that either I mean, I mean, you know Sometimes it happens by accident. I know that that I could say I I cannot say that uh, what about lip biting? You like that? I hate it

Yeah, it kind of stupid I think it's like just like it's like if you want if I want to feel pain smack me in the fucking face You know, have you ever been smacked in the face? No, me neither. Oh, it's gonna say there. Oh, damn I was gonna ask you a lot about me neither. No, no, no, I never have it smack in my face. Do you think it would be cool? um I don't listen. I've been I'll say this If you smack me in the face Get ready to get

Have you have you ever give it a little love smack in the face? I think so I think I have you think or you know, well, I don't well. Yeah No, but like I but like If you hit me like We're having sex Things are gonna have like yeah things are gonna be reciprocated. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you punch me I'm not gonna punch you but you just open the door like I put a close a closed fist in the middle of sex. That's so that's that's

Antagonistic you're starting to war at that point. It also just like gives me permission to To what I don't know to what Give you a punch Like I'm in the rib. I don't think it let's the other thing like what do you punch the butt? You know sad it must be to punch a butt. Yeah Like that's it's not Can you do that one more time? Yeah, that's what it sounds like the punch of it. It's not gonna sound like what does it sound like some

I don't think it sounds like that at all punch. Can I punch your butt? You want to punch my butt right now? Okay I'm all doing hard Let's get that right there Does that sound like me? It was pkingk I don't have a metal ass What was we need to get that sound clipped. We'll run it back. Josh make sure you clip that Me pounding joe's ass. Oh, damn. He pounded me Pounded him on the show

Pounded him in front of a whole live audience. Yeah. Yeah, I've never I've never been a puncher or a punchy No, I've never punched anyone. I wouldn't I'm not you know, that's good. I'll smack somebody but like if they wanted me to spit Hell yeah, yeah Not in on someone. Oh, whatever. I'll just do it. Yeah. Yeah piss Now no, I'm not getting pissed on if I'll tell you this I'll piss on so I'll tell you this If and when we get to 10,000 patrons, you let me piss on you You best believe that you're gonna have to get let someone get you piss on you in real life for sex Why why not because if you do it for money, you'll do it for sexy

Those are the rules Where are those written down? I got them written down. You do it for money. You do it for sexy. I do. I got it written down. No, I mean uh No, I'm not getting pissed on that I won't do I'm not into that Sure about that. I'll pee on someone if they like really wanted me to Sure If they were just like, uh, no, I'll try like I don't know if I would be If I would do it if someone was like

Whatever I'll Try it. They'd have to be like really into it and they'd be like, all right, fine I don't think I could ever piss on someone ever why it's kind of no because like the idea me Listen, I you got radioactive pee probably I am so like in my life. I am constantly like I want to make My wife happy like that's that's what I want to do cool But the idea Of me pissing on someone to make them happy

I think that's where I draw it. Well, I think the point is to make them upset, which makes them happy. It's fucked up Yeah, well, it's a circle of conflicting. That's not knowing Yeah, conflicting conflicting right there. Some people want to be Just like Demi did what's the word? What's the verb demean demean me? Yeah, like Do you face me to punch me Depiss me to piss on me to piss. You know what I mean? Yeah, sometimes but that you know, that's why You know, I wouldn't be able to do anything if the other person wasn't into it

Well, well, then yeah, because it would be classified as a crime No, I mean like if a girl was like, oh like if you were really into Fucking, I don't know You would need it to be like a yes not like a let's try it Yeah, like now like I don't want her to be like doing me a favor. You know, yeah It's like all right fine since you're gonna give me a squirt, but I would well Give me a squirt top me off. Uh, but yeah, I yeah, I couldn't I couldn't do that. What are we talking about now? We got

Anyway, someone posted on twitter and I'm gonna make sure I fucking talk about this It was like a clip and it was like this guy. It was like a tiktok or something and it was like All podcasters be like, yeah, I just really want to talk about you know, just like if I can Really quick and the guy's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he's like, you know, just want like conversation and it's like ha ha the basement yard It was like All the way. Fuck you. Yeah, I know that clip's going viral right now and like tiktok and like everywhere, honestly and Not the show for it. Listen If you think that's what we are

Fuck you. Yeah, because we went through a bunch of topics already talked about What do we talk about exactly what not popcorn probably is or isn't You know we talk about that holding legs holding legs holding legs with other legs with other legs That was another one a wooden idol being cursed demons. Like this is what I'm saying is like, where are you gonna get that? You're not anywhere else. Yeah, we're gonna learn about corn. Tell me from here because we taught you not joe rogan Oh, yeah, joe rogan. Well, joe rogan probably will you probably will have like a probably have like an agriculture scientist Not to be like actually popcorn is a separate strain of the genus of corneosis. It's like fuck you Damn, that's not it. What a shit. I know. I know joe rogan's pretty cool. Come on the show again

Joe come on the show. Text me. Yeah, text me back back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. It's back. We have a lot of his number We've put out a lot of feelers Not in return. Yeah, well, I don't know if we have put out a lot of feelers Uh, we've put out on this show. We have exactly eat yourself. Come on the show. That's another one Kelly Clarkson. Well, Kelly famously we got denied. Well, Kelly. We really went after if nobody else Mrs. Kelly Clarkson right there. Yeah, Kelly You want to like who's the next celebrity we should ask that come on the show? Um, can you use like your fucking connects? Like don't you know famous people?

Come on. Who do you want? Who do you want to get on the show? Real realistically who do I want on the show? Yeah Ted Danson or something that would be fire Um, he's a tall man. He's huge and slender. He's like yeah, he's like he looks like he grew up in a townhouse You know what I mean? Like it's just He just looks like the persona like he just looks like a book Yes, the spine of a book. He looks like the spine of a book. That's exactly what he looks like. Yeah, he looks like a book. Yeah, yeah, yeah um I feel like he smells like a book too, which I like to smell. I'm all four smells of books

I love books. You're never gonna hear me complain about the smells of books. No, um Realistically who do I want on the show? I I'm sure I love us Oh, wait, actually. No, he's kind of in the middle getting canceled right now dude. He's getting like he's getting thrown He's getting throttled. He was like beating up his ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Yeah, so maybe not him. All right. Definitely not him All right, that'd be a tough combo. Yeah, and he like would come on and like cry Which I don't know if I'm ready for a cry or yeah, he's also very artistic

This isn't other people's lives the other show from santa gata studios, but you can check out right now Yeah, I mean that's a oh, yeah, you go check out. Oh Wow gosh Guys so much closer to a raise Other people's lives it's another podcast that me and uh, greg dieback too. Some of you know have heard of it. Um, but You can go to youtube.com slash other people's lives or just listen to it on spotify itunes wherever We're back for our 11th season

Very excited for it. One of my favorite shows to do one of my favorite. I do too I was gonna say fuck. Yeah, so we gotta do it. Yeah, go check it out But like I don't know like realists. All right. I want a realistic celebrity on the show. That's our goal for 2020 Get a celeb. I mean and you have had some you've had christa stephano and yannis poppins Let's bring him back. I want to meet him. Yeah, I want to talk to him. Nice guys Uh, you you've had uh tim dylan tim dylan you've had who has been on joe rogan quite a bit I actually recorded an episode andrew schultz that never aired I don't know because it's I held on to it because

Uh Get him in the studio that was when Like schultz came like right before lockdown and then I had that episode And then I was gonna wait to put it out because at that point I thought the lockdown was gonna be like two weeks And I was like, there's so much going on right now. I'm not just gonna put this out like and just like because I thought it would be insensitive Is it a show? Good episode. I dude was like a year I can't remember yet. Get Andrew Schultz back on here. You know, see whoever wants to come

Everyone's people that watch they know someone and we can help we can figure it out so pick someone All right, realistically, who do I want? Let's see. Who do I want? Who do I really like, you know? um I mean it'd be easy to say people like ryan reynolds, but like yeah, we should do that That's a hot fucking guy. That'd be a hot guy. Let's just get ryan reynolds on and just fucking hit on him I'll be like, y'all dude. We'll drink your gin. Whatever. Oh Yeah, I will slam your gin. Yeah, I will. So let's go after him then ryan reynolds. Yep. Let's get that canadian bastard That's a piece of fucking all you listen up hot bitch. You fucking super smoky dreamy-eyed pussy. How about we could how about

You're gonna come on our show. I'm not even asking. I'm not yeah, you're gonna come on the show We're gonna drink all of your gin. We're gonna promote it for free for free For free and then you're gonna tell me because you need our help Yeah, and then you're gonna tell me your workout regimen And then tell me so I can go throw up in the bathroom. Frankie's gonna not do it. Yeah Absolutely Imagine what I'm around to. That'd be that'd be fire. Yeah. Yeah. Who else could we get like realistically who from like the new york area Could we get?

I don't know dude who lives in new york. I don't know rick moranis just got punched on the upper west side Let's get rick moranis. Ask him about the punch Let's ask him about not even just that but like the you know, honey. I shrunk the kids and ghost busters Yeah, we're gonna ask him like did it hurt when they shrank you on set. That's dark helmet, baby We can get dark helmet on here. Wow, space balls. Yeah Uh, who else? Umma Thurman. I bumped it to her once in Manhattan. Let's do it. Umma Thurman. Wow. She's fucking huge, dude She's giant. She looks she reminds me of like a like a really a dude Yo, I bumped I literally was standing at the corner and like she pulled up next to me with her dog

And I just like looked up at her Wow, yo, she's tall. She's like six two stop You're six one, aren't you? I'm six foot. She might be shorter, but she's tall. You know what I mean? Like big girl. She's a big woman. She reminds me of like a very intense like exotic bird You know, let her daughter. Maya hawk was on stranger things. Let's get her that might be real too Who's that? She uh, she she was in stranger things the most recent season. Which one? Who was she? She was the girl in the uh, uh sailors ahoy Uh, oh, I liked her. Yeah. I thought she was really good. Let's get her on the show

Yeah, let's get a fucking what's his name with the hair joe kerry. Yeah, let's do it. That guy that guy that guy All right, so we got a list top three hottest guys you want to get on well We want we want to we want to like harass uh, ryan reynolds ryan reynolds We're gonna harass he's hot What other hot guys you realistically think we can get on here rick moranis? Okay, all right. He's an icon John carlo esposito That's gustavo fring, baby

Oh, uh, but Kind of good-looking What do we what I mean, we can just tell him that he's distinguished for an hour and a half Can't we? That's up to you. I think we can I absolutely think we can good actor great actor very stoic That's that's a terrible. How is it impression? I got it. You just look like a hamster trying to smell that's what he does if you watch these That's what hamsters look like that's what good one

I guess that's what John carlo esposito looks like anyone else anyone else that you realistically think you can get Isn't your agent with fucking, you know, like water brothers or something? Can you get like jason mimoa to come on here and just mohalla? Let's go after him too. He might be too. He might be tell him that like we love the ocean or whatever Isn't he like big on recycling? He likes the ocean. He does like he likes that. I know that We'll tell him like yo, we're gonna like we're we're so pumped. We love hate plastic We're gonna. Oh, why I fuck plastic. I haven't had a straw in years. No straws on me Actually, that's a lot. I had a straw thing yesterday. Don't take that to him though. You dumb idiot talking on me yet

He watches this. That's true. You know, I'll just I'll just be like, yo, look if you ever want to come on Just let you know It'll be fun where we are ohana You know mohalla and then just fucking hang up because yeah, that's what gets him We're gonna make him want it. We're gonna make him want it. Yeah, so he can come on to be like, yeah Yeah That's what he sounds like he does and him and I can sit next to each other and finally put to rest that he doesn't look like me Dude, I really hope that this show gets so out of hand to the point where we can have jace mamo on

Dude, we can they're the only thing stopping us Are you gonna blame white people for this too? Well, no, I'm not gonna blame white people for No, but like realistically like we don't if we don't try we don't know joey Success is a mindset if you don't put yourself in the mindset to be successful You're not even going to be able to become successful Okay I think that we could that I I'm hopeful for ryan reynolds because I feel like he would do it ironically That would be funny. He'd be like all right. These guys are kind of fucking stupid

I'm gonna like but like if he just comes on and just says like i'm not coming on. Fuck you We win. We he's on we win. We's on we win if he just literally sends me a message that says fuck off He came on or We ask his wife Blake lively to send in a message saying my husband doesn't want to be on your hot show We're hot. We're hot to live like lively. We're hot. Yeah, exactly. You know Could we could we get natalie portman? Um, I know we went from guys to women now, but could we get natalie portman?

She like loves so she loves she loves the arts. She loves the earth And she loves college like she went to harvard. You went to college. This is earth. There's art behind you Natalie come on natalie portman's coming on come on down. Well, she's she's later on ryan reynolds. I think it's top priority I think that I really think we had everyone attack kelly clark. Well attack some hard words. Hold on Take it easy. Yeah, we can't be using these words because you know, obviously there was a Yeah, we'll get to that yesterday. There was a there was a storming on the capital So we can't be too crazy with our words right now We don't want to incite anything anything because that would be inappropriate and irresponsible

Yeah of people with no power right right so people who have a lot of power. Maybe don't probably shouldn't maybe don't incite riot Maybe don't But but just maybe you know a little twinge of maybe on there. Yeah, and then Guys so reach out to ryan reynolds. He's pretty active on social media. My understanding. He's a funny man He's a very funny guy and honestly he's been upset by him though What do you do because he's really he's clever And I feel like if all his tweets are like well thought out and shit and it's like dude We get it. You're hot. You're in shape. You're clever and shit

Fuck off pick one if you're gonna be funny. You need to become a fat piece of shit If you're gonna be good-looking Stop tweeting and that gin better tastes like shit I've been told a buddy from the stream has told me that that gin is quite delicious It better tastes like shit. Do you want it if he has a good gin too? I'm just gonna yeah I'm just gonna yell it. I know I know exactly what we gotta do I'm not gonna say it on here because I always I write checks that my my but my mouth can't cash. Is that it? You went to butt. I went to butt. I heard butt. You I went down underneath. It was going to butt

Uh, but uh remind me after the show. I gotta tell you. Uh, how much time we got? We're good. We're good. We're good. No, it's over here I gotta look. Okay. No, we're fine. We're still recording, right? Yeah. We are uh I don't remember you were saying a whole bunch. I don't remember nothing The point is we're gonna get Ryan rounds on the show. We're gonna have we're gonna we'll go out We'll even purchase the fucking whiskey. What's it called? Not the whiskey. It's gin. Well now he's not coming All right, the rock. Let's get the rocks tequila That's gonna be tough. That's gonna be tough. He's all about being like cool and serious the rock on here I've been up since yesterday at 5 a.m. I had seven bucks in my pocket

I Had 100 fish today. Yeah. God damn. You're like, what was your diet yesterday? 70 pounds of fucking Tilapia you geek. Yeah, he would destroy me. Please don't say the word geek. He would fuck me up You met the rock. He is a great guy. He's very fun The first thing that joey told me about meeting the rock true story was I go yo Is he like massive in in real life and joey was like, he's not tall. He's just deep Yeah, he's man. He's chef. Well, he's he's like back is like 12 feet dude This guy is a big dude. So like he's not like

He's not tall because I got he's like six one, right? I don't know. He's not like, you know, fucking larger than life looking But this dude's deep like his he's just like I'm like the first thing I told him too is like You're a lot smaller in person and he's like, huh? I don't even know someone laugh That's what he does You ever see any of you ever see any of this picture is like will you ever get Will you ever cuff that link?

Will you ever hold this cuff link? I really think I'm getting dressed. We can get or we can get a wrestler on here New japan pro wrestling fucking stud j white watches the show shout out to my buddy j white new japan You clearly aren't as in touch with the wrestling scene joey. Well, I I know about old japan Oh Fuck we're getting people we're getting ourselves in trouble this episode. I mean, this is weird. This is a big This is a basement yard base show has slowly gotten more offensive Slowly two months from now. I don't know what we're gonna. I've been on since do you remember when I came on and you were like Yeah, like just be yourself. Don't worry about it. Like, you know, and at first I was like

Dude, that is a great concept. But the the gays have been oppressed. You know what now? I'm like, uh Yeah, I know it's it's a it's a thing. I'm sweating. Yeah, it's nice in here. Oh, man. Why don't you so um The rock ryan reynolds Who else like would do it like ironically? Seriously like ironically and seriously. I don't know. You think we can get jesson timberlake. Hi. Don't absolutely not. Hey, man. What's up? Oh, so that's mike tyson that no, that's jesson timberlake. You can probably get mike tyson honestly, but I'm afraid no I would never want to have nothing to say to him. I would I would just apologize for nothing the whole time. It's like, I'm sorry Yeah, you know, I do he could yo there is that is one of the only people on this planet that both of us in a room with him

There's nothing we could do if he wants to kill us. We're dead Just him and us two it's not like all right, there's two of us will be okay It's two on mike tyson Yeah, we'd be dead even if we started in like An advantage point like if we were both on top of him. I'm pretty confident we lose Yeah, like they're like they're like like i'm sure like fucking connor greger would beat our ass too and oh i'm sure of that as well You know, but like

He's the only one that I would like i'd be a more afraid of tyson than I would connor Yeah, because I feel like because tyson's not hitting you like connor greger would like crack a joke at one point Like tyson would just be like i'm literally gonna chew on your penis. Yeah. Yeah Yes, he would Like like mcgregor's hitting you to not get up tyson's hitting you to kill you. Yeah Like there's a difference there stark difference stark robert downey jr That's a big ass. That'll never happen. He lives in a windmill. What you know that. No, he lives in a windmill. Why?

I thought only like Fucking people that wear like leader hose and do that. Uh, no, I think leprechauns Also live. Yeah, but he lives in a windmill. I saw his leprechauns live in rainbows, joey They don't live in the rainbow. They live in rainbows. No, they don't right outside of a rainbow rainbow with jason hide their pot of gold there And you think they're not going to live where they hide their gold Well, I don't know if they hide it there. I think they just can't conceal the rainbow that the gold like makes I don't think the gold is made by the rainbow. I think that it's just put there And like the light refracts off of the gold. Why would they do that? Like everyone knows why would they not live next to their gold?

To keep an eye on it if they're going to say this is where my gold is we're arguing different points. We're arguing My point is the gold makes the rainbow. They don't bring the gold to the rainbow Yes, so why would they not live directly next to their gold if they want to protect it? But they don't live in a rainbow is my point. They but they technically live around around a rainbow rainbow adjacent Yes, rainbow adjacent. Yes, or parallel, parallel I don't think you realize what parallel parallel and adjacent are the same thing Okay in a way. I mean, I guess not adjacent like adjacent is just next to Parallel is like they go in the same direction to never touch so technically they could be things that or perpendicular

Those touch at a right angle. They do. I remember those lines That was I was good at math geometry. Yeah, I was very good at math It's not math. It is geometry. It's math Part of it. I don't know. I think it is. It makes all two. Uh-oh. Now you gotta be questioning if geometry is math I don't know. It's like shapes and shit. I think it is. Yeah, like like like, you know, like pi r squared Yeah, you know, fucking Two to one half br Half br. I don't

What's the triangle area again? Isosceles All right, do you know what an isosceles triangle is? It's a triangle that is uh It has unequal sides. Yes. Yes. Thank god. Fucking Jesus. So triangles three sides. What's four square? Okay, or rectangle Because that all squares are rectangles, but all rectangles are not all Rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangle. What's five? Five is a hexagon. Nope. Five is a pentagon. Yep. What's six? That's a hexagon seven

Septagon, no Hepta close. Heptagon eight Uh, that's an octagon nine decepticon You said it with such confidence Decepticon is it it's a it's a nine a gun. I think it's uh, uh, nine a gun. No, nenegon or something. Nenegon No, I don't remember what nine is but ten is dodecagon that I remember. Damn dude. That sounds very dangerous That sounds awesome, right? It's like a dangerous ship. Like yo, like what hit you a fucking dodecagon Oh my god, or like you're playing a kid in like third grade and he's like, oh, yo, you got a Charizard. That's great. Don't get dodecagon

You're like, yo He puts out all fucking pieces of exodia and then you just hit him with a dodecagon I hear you dude. I'm telling you right now Buy yugioh cards before they go through the roof like pokemon cards did. Oh man. I'm gonna do that I'm gonna do it. Can I have a can I have a raise? I'd rather buy a bitcoin Fuck a bitcoin It's going up. Yeah, you're gonna buy bitcoin for $30,000 right now and then it'll go up to 31 Well, it's at 39 if you bought bitcoin in 2012 and it was a penny for a stock

Yo, I had you imagine I bought I I had the opportunity to buy two bitcoins. I think it was like 400 bucks Can you imagine and I did not I mean That'd be insane, but you would only be $60,000 rich right now. I mean, that's pretty good though 60 no the when it was a penny a stock. Oh, yeah, and people bought like yo like let me get like seven dollars worth Then you would be for life Yeah, you'd be set for life. I I don't know if I'd be able to make it What does that mean if I like I always think like if I had that much money like I would be too reckless Would you buy dumb shit?

No, but I wouldn't like there'd be no part of my brain. That's like I have to have responsibilities right now I thought like yo, I kid you not like these people that like that's why I don't play like mega millions Because I my I cannot comprehend the concept of winning that much money and being a normal human being Yeah, because like when you when you win You know 150 million dollars. It's like oh, I have responsible money and like let's just say that's a million dollars It's not it's way less, but let's just say that you have and then you have 149 million dollars to be like Let's just do dude. I always think about that woman like two years ago that when the mega millions or the jackpot got I don't remember the difference when it got to a billion dollars

Yeah Yeah, even if you get because they say like if you get it upfront you get like 55 percent or something and if you go get it through like 10 years You get it Like 70 percent You take that lump sound every time though I don't know that's the only if it was a billion dollars Now you take it and then you you let it you invest it so that you make more money doing that than you would just getting this

Money over there. I don't know I just like that's why I can't play those things one because I think it's a waste of money because It's it's a scam first of all the chance to winning are like one in like 30 billion Put lottery tickets just to cheeses Uh Do you hurt cheese you're hurt? He apparently fucked jeffree star. Oh, yeah. Oh god. We didn't talk How did we not well you want to leave that for next week? We will we will kanya west jeffree star coming next week Oh, yeah, it's a big rumor. I'm gonna do some research You know what I will too and even if I find out concretely that it's not true. It's still true

I'm going to find truth in it. Yeah kanya You don't want it to be true come on the show Explain yourself. He'll come on the show and it would be a bad idea. You know that, right? He'll come on. It'll be like i'm just letting you know That was bad. I'm sorry. All right. Goodbye frank alvarez The frank alvarez on instagram Uh f alvarez 8085 on twitter and twitch f alvarez 8085 on twitch if you want to come hang out with me And then i'm competing in the movie trivia schmo down where i'm going to be putting my movie trivia muscles to the test

Go check them out at a movie trivia schmo down on instagram YouTube Everywhere everywhere everywhere. They're the fucking greatest. I'm gonna whoop ass. Yes. When is that again? Uh, the draft is at the end of january. I don't know where i'm going to be yet But uh, I was talking to the guy christian harloff that sets it up and he's like, yo If we do a live show in new york and you're competing for a belt I said i was like i'm bringing the fucking cavalry if i do we're all going i'm gonna like i'll start that That's when i'll start a riot. There we go. You know, yeah

go go uh guys go follow the show at the basemiyard on tiktok and uh instagram and uh, yeah Go check out our patreon patreon.com slash the basemiyard You get every episode a week ahead and you get an extra episode every single week and you get access to all of our old episodes All of our old like extra episodes On there as well. And uh, yeah, that is all. See you guys next time. Yeah