The Basement Yard - #294 - Going Gay For Gates

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

Bill Gates is single and probably not ready to mingle but we're gonna try and make a good push for a mingling anyway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yacht. Frank, how's it going? I'm a green boy. Green boy today. It's mint. It's mint green. Mint green. Mint green. These are coming out. Yeah. These are out, actually, I think. By the time this comes out. They're hot. Yeah, they're pretty good. Well, I'm on Patreon.

It's going to be a few days, but next week, it's coming out. If you're seeing this, look for this. Yes. There you go. On theSanagatoStore.com. Yeah, it's a good little plug right there. Yeah, it's a nice little thing. Let's just get right to it, though. All right, William is single now.

William Hung? William. Well, he probably is. Is he still alive? William Hung? Yeah. I don't think he did the dead. He's not that old. It doesn't matter how old you are. William Hung is alive.

No, Bill Gates. Bill Gates is a single man. Oh, that's right. 27 years of lovely marriage coming to a halting screech. And now that money's got to go to somebody. Well, how much is he worth? 80 billion. Do you think he signed a prenuptial agreement? Why? I don't know.

Do they have a prenup or is she getting dollar signs? I mean, a lot of people sit there and say that Jeff Bezos' ex-wife was only famous because she got divorced from Jeff Bezos. You don't remember when that was coming out? I'm pretty sure she helped support the launch of Amazon. Exactly, but then people were like, oh, she's just rich now

because she just divorced Jeff Bezos. And I was like, no, she also did a bunch of shit. Well, she also is like, she's the second richest woman in the world because of the divorce. Who's won? Some woman. Is it Kylie?

Definitely not, no. I don't know this stuff. You know what's crazy? Kylie's like broke compared to these people, which is insane. I don't think if someone has four billion and a person has one billion, you're not like, yo, you're a broke bitch.

Yeah, but it's a bigger discrepancy than that. It's like 150 billion and one billion. Can you imagine that money? 150 billion? I would do weird, weird shit. Well, that's why all these fucking billionaires are weirdos that sit there and drink jackfruit juice all day.

Yeah, or they wanna get a candle stuck in their ass and light it on fire and then drip the wax on me and then call my mom and tell her some things. This is something you've done. This is something you've done. No, but listen, Bill Gates, if you're out there, Bill, I think that we've made, yo, honestly, look at me. Tell me that me and Bill Gates

wouldn't make a good couple. Listen, I'm all behind the joey's going gay for Gates movement. Gay for Gates. Gay for Gates. Yeah, gay for Gates is the new hashtag. And he lives, like, from my understanding, pretty simple life.

I mean, a billionaire simple life. Like, he's just like driving like a Ford Fusion. You know, and just like... No, he's got like a RAV4. Yeah, he's got something like super fucking easy, like a Kia. Yeah, like a Kia, but it's like a plane. A Kia Sorento.

Kia Sorento plane. He doesn't give a flying fuck. Yeah. He might have Timberland sneakers too. Why would you say that? Just make him real normal. Oh, I see. Yeah, he probably just wears like Pumas.

Yeah. Nothing crazy. Well, I don't know about Pumas. He's not hot boy enough for Pumas. Pumas are hot boy? You don't remember that period of time where all the hot boy like Guido's in New York, we're like, yo, Puma, Puma out.

Yeah, Puma out. Puma and Lacoste. Oh, Lacoste, yeah. Puma and Lacoste were big. Yeah, anytime I see a kid wearing a Lacoste t-shirt, not t-shirt, like a polo, I just hate him. It's kind of crazy how big certain clothing brands were when we were kids.

Ed Hardy. Ed Hardy, Von Dutch. Von Dutch. Von Dutch made like a little bit of a comeback with their hat, with their hats. I'll help them here. Don't fucking wear it. Throw him out.

Yeah, just right in the garbage. Just throw him out. Save him all, save us all the time. Bro, you know what people wear now? That's just like insane. What, what, what? The best pro shop hats. Why does everyone wear this hat?

Like for like a fashion statement? Yeah, it's a fishing hat. It's like all the fuck boys wear them on TikTok. I've never seen that. Dude, if you go on TikTok, every single fuck boy is wearing a pro, like a bass, like a fishing hat. A Cabela's hat with a fucking hook through the brim. Yeah, like are you guys fishermen

or are you fucking humping the air? Listen, I'm not, I'm not on this TikTok wave, but I will say this, if you're a fisherman, stick to being a dirty fucking piece of shit fisherman. Don't like try to become a hot boy like me. We just lost all of our fishermen viewership. I don't think we had a lot. I don't think we had a lot either,

but we did lose them. Well, if we lost them. They're offended. We lost them months ago when I first joined. Fish. You go ahead, you go ahead. Go, go. No, fish shirt.

What's the fuck? Fuck everyone, stop, shut up. I just said fish shirt. Go ahead. Fisherman, I don't know, fishing. One day I went down a rabbit hole because I saw like a video on TikTok of someone guy fishing and I was like,

am I into fishing? I can tell you I'm not. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. I think it's like innate in my DNA to have a soft spot for fishing at least. What, what fucking, what are you, a North, like a Norse Viking? Like what, what fucking, what's in your DNA?

That's gonna. Are you saying Norse? Yeah. What's that? Norse. Do you meant North? Norse. What's Norse?

Norse is like the people of like Scandinavia, you know, the ones that like worship like, you know, fucking Odin and shit. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, okay. So why is it in your DNA to like fishing? I just feel like white people,

like eventually at some point. Yeah, you're white. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think you would be able to do fishing. You don't have the patience for it. How dare you? I, I, it's not a bad thing.

It's just you're very like, yo, I want to use my time efficiently. Okay. You know, like. I can get out there. Success is a mentality. To. That's nothing at all.

And, and I don't think you'd be able to sit on a fucking still pond for four hours without a wiggle. You gave me a couple of beers. I could. Well, I mean, no, no. You were the couple of beers and you was doing the opposite of sitting still. You want to fucking dance, baby.

Yeah, I'll probably jump in that water. But so serious. I almost caught a fish with my hands in Connecticut. I don't remember that. Dude, I was over, I was hovering over the water and I was like a cat. Really? Yeah.

I just kept grabbing it, but they're slimy. They're slimy little boys. You know, fish are disgusting. They're the pieces of shit of this planet. Like, I don't know why, like. They're rats in the water. I hate them. Why are they so slimy?

Well, because they need to move through the water and it helps them, you know? So they just coat themselves in K-L-I? Just coat themselves in, like, just, like, just mucus. Just jelly. It's gross. But so back to Bill Gates. So question of the hour.

Gay for Gates. Gay for Gates. Mega gay for Gates. If he comes and he's like, yo, seriously, like, yo, like, he speaks to you in, like, leet language, like 0-1-2-2-1-1-1, 8-1-1. I think it's just 0-1-1s. I don't even know what you're talking about.

And he comes to you and he's like, yo, I'd like to pwn that ass. Pwn? Yeah. Well, he's not like a gamer. I mean, he's Bill Gates. He's the gamer. Yeah, well, yeah. I guess.

No, here's the thing, right? So when people become billionaires, like, obviously Bill Gates, he's just a nerdy dude, right? He's a nerdy guy, created computers, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's in the lab most of the days and he probably jerks off with, like, you know, weird stuff, you know? Sandpaper?

Yeah, or, like, you know, citrus. And it burns a little bit. Octopus ink? Yeah. And octopus ink. So, like, I'm willing to go gay for Gates. Like I said, that's the hashtag. Hashtag, gay for Gates.

Like, we're willing to go gay for Gates. And without a prenup as well. I don't need a lot, like. I'm a simple guy. I'm a very simple boy. But I would like more money. I'll be your simple boy if you want. Or I could be very difficult as well.

It's what you want. It's what you want. I could be difficult. I could be easy. I can do whatever you want. I do know that you're a billionaire. So, like, when you become a billionaire, like, you can't have regular sex anymore.

Like, maybe you have to wear, like, an animal's head. There needs to be blood involved in some capacity. Some sort of, you know, wild animal's blood has to be in the room, around the house, somewhere. It's basically, like, when you reach a certain, like, level of stature in terms of financial status, sex becomes a game. Yeah, and prostates get touched.

Touched. They get fucking beat up. Yeah, they get sucked on. Can you do that? I mean, I'm sure if you place your tongue and lips in an appropriate manner, how, where is the prostate? Like, how far up there? You're asking the wrong girl.

I mean, I'll look it up. Look it up. I think, like, with the right amount of, like, you know, like, hold it open and just. That sounds like a two-man job. Well, three-man if you can include a man with the prostate. Well, technically, it is a two-man job if the man is receiving the suckage on his prostate.

Well, I'm saying someone's got to hold it open. Someone has to have the whole. No, you can hold it open yourself. I don't know about that. It's got a forearm on the butt. No. And just. Yeah, but then.

It's pretty tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then. No. Where is the prostate? Oh, the prop. Oh, dude, it's not that far. It's kind of like above your, your shit.

Oh, it's right there. I mean, that's not right there. That's pop goes the weasel. That's right there. It's definitely not pop goes the weasel. That's right there. Dude, you got to, I mean, you, listen. That's a stone's throw away from your anus.

You can definitely throw a baseball and hit that. That's what I'm saying. You can't throw a rock in the asshole without hitting the prostate, but you still have to get into the asshole. Well, you can definitely get into it. Well, yeah, you can get into it. It's like, it's like a gated community.

Once you get past the gates, it's fucking right there. Yeah. If anything, yeah, you're right. But I will say this, the anus, it's not, not, there's not, there's a fence. You have to climb over. There is a fence. You can't just walk right in.

You can't write, you cannot. So you have to work for it. And that's what I mean. I think billionaires kind of like, I'm just staring at a dick. I think billionaires are like, you know, really into like, you know, candles and like weird shit. Yeah, when they have so much money,

and I use they because I can only speak for the men because they're the weirdos. When they have so much. I don't know about that. I think Oprah's getting fucking railed. I don't know. I really don't know. But no, I know.

Oh, okay. Oprah's stories. Really? Yeah. Like what? Like she gets fucked outside and stuff, like on her yard. They're just like us, baby. Yeah.

But she doesn't have a front gate. So what, she's just like out in the streets of wherever she's living, just getting fucking doggied. Yeah. Good for her. That's a level of not giving a fuck. You think Oprah gets dicked? You think Oprah's still getting penis?

There's, I mean, if she chooses, it's Oprah. I mean, she can have any man that she wants. Well, yes. Is she still with that guy? Stedman. Yeah. I mean, the biggest cuck of them all, right? Is he?

I think, I think. I don't know anything about that guy. I think, and I'm only speaking off of what I remember from Chappelle's show. So take it as fact. Yes. I think she was in like a civil like handshake, like, yo, we're forever, but I'm not marrying you

because you're not getting any of my shit. Wow, that's fucking gangster. And then she has a best friend who probably does three sums with him. I think her name is Gail. Gail. That's a nice name. That's a nice, that's a nice name.

That's an old woman's name. Well, you know, Gail. If you're gonna be another, like, if you're gonna be a best friend of Oprah, Gail. I'll also, Oprah, I'm also open for business as well. Well, you know, if the time is right and the, and I'll be civil. You don't need to marry me.

No. You can just give me, I'm sad, like a, like a, oh, an allowance. I'll take, I'll take a hundred thousand a month. Oh, how nice of you. That's it. That's it. That's all I want.

That's all I want. I'm not easy. Cash, you know, in an envelope. We agree, shake. Realistically. Yeah. Bill Gates, right? He's like, all right, cool.

And then you come to his house. But like, he doesn't want you to like suck him or whatever because he has a weird thing about his penis. He likes to protect it. Oh, all right. And, but he, but he, what he does like is for you to like, you know, wear diapers and just like, crap in them.

But he's like, yo, Frankie, crap. You know, and you have to crap in your diaper. You just got to, I don't know why the word crap is coming. Like he's having a party, right? Yeah. And like, I'm talking celebrities there. There's like, there's like Beyonce's there.

Elon Musk. Elon Musk is there with his, with his kid. X, Y, C, four. Cheyenne. Yeah. Or whatever. Who's, isn't his kid like the Pythagorean theorem? Yes. And he's like, there's there there.

And then, you know, there's like, you know, fucking a bunch of people from the Marvel universe are there, you know, and they're, and they're dressed up. Well, the Marvel universe is Kevin Feige there because I might just lower my price to meet Kevin Feige. Yeah. And like, you know what I'm saying? Like Zoe Saldana is there. Yeah.

And you know, and she's dressed up as Gamora. Okay. You know, like, and then, but then, you know, you have to be dressed as a baby. You, you're wearing a diaper. And then, and then Bill Gates comes in and he's like, oh, you guys, you want to have a good time? Watch this, Frankie, crap.

Crap in your diaper right now. Fill it up. And he's been feeding you oatmeal all day. I can't find anything else. I can't eat oatmeal. Just give me anything else. Figs. It's a lot of fiber.

Yeah. I'm just saying, he's been filling up your, your body with fiber and your, and your body's screaming to get this poop out. Ah! Yeah. And just like any minute now it's going. And he's just like, yo crap, your shit. Joke's on you.

I'm that close to that reality as it is. So dude, I mean, like I said, I'm a simple guy. So like, just give me a, give me a booster box of Pokemon first edition cards. And like, he got me. Wow. That's, that's a pretty price.

That's not, that's not cheap. And just promise me something. If you ever make over a hundred million dollars again. Whoa. Find me Pokemon cards, man. But like Bill Gates, listen, I'm fighting nature, you know, because I would be fighting nature because I identify as a heterosexual male,

a heterosexual cisgendered male. So in order to engage with, like I'd be fighting nature a little bit, going with Bill Gates. So what? I'm gonna need like a tax, you know, like shipping and handling, going against nature tax. How much is that?

At least an extra 50K per month. For what? You're not fighting nature. He's not asking you to suck his penis. Oh, I mean, well, I assume I will be romantically intertwined with him in some of our, Bill Gates kind of strikes me as someone who's probably like, no, no, no, don't touch me.

You know, like he's not into the touching, but he likes to watch stuff. He's like those guys in, remember in euphoria, the guy that's like, tell me not to come. And she's like, don't come. And he's like, okay, he's probably one of those. He wants to be like hurt. Yeah, he wants to be told what to do.

He's been in power for so long that he wants like insects. Like he wants to just be like, just diminished to being a babbling idiot. Yeah. I think that a lot of people who hold like a certain position like that, they enjoy it. Their fantasies are the opposite of what they are.

You know, so old gross men want little school girls because they're fucking weird, you know? So like men that are, and I can only speak for men cause I don't know of any women in this, like any women billionaires. Literally speak for everybody. Okay, gotcha. So he's got all this-

Wait, didn't Donald Trump get fingered or something by what's her name? Oh, by Stormy? Yeah, yeah. He probably got fucking finger blasted out of the wazoo, dude. Dude, wait, oh my God. There was like a story that came out.

She was beating him with a fucking magazine. That's what it was, she was like spanking him. She was beating him with a magazine, with his face on it. Wait, his face was on the magazine? I'm pretty sure him, he was on the magazine. These are what Stormy Daniels has said. So don't sue us. We're just telling you what she said.

You're suing me. If anyone is smart enough, someone. But apparently she was like- Fingering. Fingering, slapping. She had a magazine that had his face on it and she beat his ass with it. That's kind of dope.

I mean- I'm not really into the spanking. I'm not a spanky guy either. Yeah, I'll spank you. But I'm not, it's spank. It's different, my opinion on spanking has changed because I now have a baby that sleeps in the room with us. So like, pre-baby, you let those spanks fly if you need to.

But now it's like- Now it's a, you know, a little, you know. Try not to. Or you do the classic pull back and swing and you know, just like stop right before. I don't think that's the classic. Like yeah, give me your hand. Like, that's a smack.

I would have liked a warning. I said give me your hand. But like now it's like- It's way less sexy. That's what I'm saying. My hand hurts. You're a good slapper. Thank you.

You want to give me one? If I was into it- You gave me on the front of the hand? I don't know. You just slapped me in five. What? I said slap me and you slapped me five. What, was I gay?

No, I was expecting you were going to hit me on the back. Okay. That, you got to be careful with. You're going to hurt your wrist. I hurt my thumb on that. You like, you like flicked your wrist on that one. You need to follow all the way through. You're right.

I got to listen to what you're saying. I try to steer you in the right direction. Look at my fucking hand. I got you good. You can see the fingies and everything. What the fuck? I'm a good slapper. Wow, if I was going to let a man hit me, it'd be you.

Realistically. No. And don't even start this patrons. No, you're not spanking me. Patreon.com. So basically when you're at one day, I'll get Joey to let me smack him. No, you're not going to spank me.

Maybe. No, no. Is what the answer is. I think in my car, or at least somewhere in my house, I have a paddle for my fraternity days. And I can fucking wind up and give you a lovin'. Do you ever spank someone with the paddle? No, I never did.

We legit, my fraternity, was like, yo, no fucking hazing. And I'm glad because if someone, in the name of Brotherhood, was like, yo, Pledge, sit on this fucking golf ball. I'd be like, no. But everyone always thinks, oh, you're in a fraternity? What did you fucking have to do? And it was like, yo, honestly, just like, hang out. Yo, honestly, it's so fucking weird that that exists.

You know what I mean? Like hazing? Yeah, because I was just trying to get the mentality of, you have to suck a condom in order to be our friend. It's like, the fuck? Dude, and it's so funny that most of the things that I've heard about in terms of fraternity, hazing, their potentials or pledges or whatever

you call it, is borderline homoerotic. It's like, you want to be my friend? You need to fucking shove your thumb in your ass right now in front of me. I'm not gay for watching, but you're gay for doing it. Everyone's stared at each other's dicks. I knew a fraternity that would make the people do the elephant walk.

The fuck is that? Oh my god, no. So with your backhand, you hold a person's dick and ball. No way. And then in front, you put your thumb up their ass. No, Frankie. Yeah, I knew a fraternity that would make them do that. At your school.

I'm not saying where it was, but I knew people in a fraternity that would make them do that. And they would tell them at a certain point, they would say something, and they would take the thumb and put it in their mouth. No, they wouldn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was also a legend.

Yo, I don't, I go gay for gays, but that's it. That's where you draw, not for friends? Not for friends, not for fraternity. Not fraternities. Not fraternities, but no. Jesus Christ. People would do that? Yeah.

How badly do you need a fraternity, like friends? How badly do you want to watch someone black out after drinking 12 natty lights? Dude, I would only do that if you promised me like the powers of Thor. Like that's it. Like that's probably all I would do it for. He who shall be worthy, possess the power of Thor.

That would be fucking gross. Holding a dick in balls? That's not bad. Because you don't have to look. That's skin on skin, babe. That's like, you know what's crazy? That is not cool, but it's also probably the best part about it.

Which is the file. The thumb and the butt, that's crazy. The thumb and the mouth after the butt. Yeah, you went straight, you went straight ass to mouth, and that's an aggressive move that takes years of training. I gotta get a thumb in my ass? Yeah, I, from. Dude, if you, if I'm in college,

and one guy in front of me is grabbing my dick and balls, and the other one has his finger in my ass, I never want to see these people again. Yeah. I don't want to see you again. Is that why you stopped college? Yeah. Okay.

I knew, and then. I did a semester, I had a thumb in my ass, and I left. There was allegedly a sorority that would make the girls sit on a washing machine, on newspaper, and they would put porn on. Like women on women porn, and if they would afterward, like naked, they would have the girls stand up,

and if there were any wet spots on the newspaper, they would like kick them out. The newspaper? Yeah. Like it's a puppy taking a piss? Well, because they didn't want to see, like apparently there's something against women being into women and sororities,

and they were like, No lesbians. If you get fucking the slightest bit wet, you're gone. Wait, if they were putting on lesbian porn? Yeah. Dude, I know a lot of straight women who watch lesbian porn. I'm sure there are.

So that's unfair. If anything, they're breeding more lesbians. I'm not breeding, but you know what I mean. They're like awakening them, like it's like the mutant gene in the X-Men. Yeah. Wait, does that mean that lesbians would enjoy straight? Never mind.

You're asking questions. Do you know any lesbians off the top of your head that you can ask? Yeah. No, I wouldn't get a response like that. I would have to do some digging. Do a little, just a simple text. See if you get one.

What, if they enjoy straight porn? Or if they, if like, yeah. I'll come back. Okay. I'll circle back with that. I assume, I assume they do. I also haven't talked to this person in a while. It would be like a hot text at 10 a.m.

Hey, what about dicks and porn? Yeah. I think someone, someone put it lightly and quite cleverly. It's like girls are like, lesbians aren't turned off by dicks. They're turned off of what's behind them. And I was like, yo, fuck yeah. What's behind a dick?

A butt? No, the man. Oh. Oh. Oh. That was so fucking stupid. Oh God, that was not good. It was turned off by butts.

Man butts. I don't like man butts. I don't like man butts either, but I'm saying like, I'm not like upset by them either. I feel like you only, like, there's like a level of like butt and then it only just gets more like turned on from there. No one's seen a button been like, no. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know but like no.

No, I've seen a button been like. Oh, I have to. Actually that's true. Not in person, but I've seen a button. I've been like, what's going on? I've watched one too many Viva La Bams to like butts down Viva. Fat chat, Fat Dude butts

Or just Fat Dude but are like double butts. Or they're like, they're like, there's butt. And then there's another fucking bonus butt. Yeah. But it's but. Or like the butts that just like come down like a tear drop and I just like Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Leads into the legs. Oh gross. Yeah, and it's like your ass is a triangle dude. It's impressive at some points others It's very inappropriate. Yeah So fuck are we talking? I don't know I we just get here, and I don't know how dude also speaking of like celebrities and weird shit I Recently I don't know how I came upon this to be honest But I found out recently, and I don't know what the reason is or if it's even real, but I Went down a rabbit hole, and I saw about 50 pictures of Liam Neeson pissing himself What?

Liam Neeson Taken taken. Yeah, I have a very special set of skills Just being out and about on the street taking pictures with fans and stuff with a full bag of piss in his pants Just like peeing peeing piss in his pants sometimes it's like a full piss just like and sometimes just a little piss Why is he peeing himself? Um? Either either it's fake or he has no control. Oh, yeah, he has a medical condition or yeah He's gonna need some type Yikes, but he put major piss if you if you look up on Google like Liam Neeson piss a lot of piss

I gotta say it's a little unfair for men, okay This is really unfair for men because no matter what I do in the bathroom when I'm peeing Oh, I look like I piss my pants every time every single time literally yesterday. I Had to I was getting furniture delivered and I took a piss a fat whiz. Oh, man 98 I took a whiz right and I'm like I'm over there, and I'm you know, I'm getting everything Yeah, you gotta like fucking you got to treat it like a toothpaste. Yeah, yeah You gotta like you need to roll it up from the base

You're roll your dick up every drip and drop out get it out out out out and then You know you put your you pull your panties up. What the fuck are you wearing? Are you wearing like short rolls shorts? Okay, so I pick up my panties and then I Drop a piss because I wasn't wearing underwear It was the morning use use free ballin around your apartment. What do you wear underwear like at all times? Yes? Weird I let the dick breathe and the ball. I let the dick in balls breathe to in the winter. I wear more underwear I mean, I I'm always underwear it up. I I can't tell you last time. I'm not wearing underwear right now prove it I

Don't know if you just like Just stand up and turn it inside out. Just prove it turn it inside out like the waistband. Just like I Know nothing No, you're fucking reckless. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not wearing underwear right now But the point is when I got in the elevator, I looked down and I'm like big drop of piss. Oh You had to go you had a travel with the pee pee stain. Yeah, and then I'm meeting God I'm meeting these guys. What color were the pants great? Oh, that's bad. That's it. That's a noticeable fucking

Shamwow of pants when it comes to peeing yourself. Yeah, and it spreads it does spread Yeah, I I do the thing where whenever I would get a little bit of water on myself I would do a little I'm not water a piss I would do the reverse psychology where I fucking I wet the whole thing so people could be like water water The guy just washes his hands vigorously. I'll like put like a very like Strategic like wet hand print right there. They'll be like just dry my hammer pants. You are diabolical. Listen, it's not diabolical It's fucking genius. Yeah, it is because then people will just be like, oh you Pete. No, it's let me ask you a question. Yeah You listen in a hypothetical world you're at a girl's house for the first time, okay?

You know and you guys are like, you know chilling. How's it going? How's it going? All of a sudden? I'm gonna take a big fat shit okay, but the bathroom is in her bedroom and you're not watching a movie or anything so like It's quiet. Mm-hmm. I'm listening. How do you go about taking this poop? Do you just like poop you poop it up and you let the poop sounds reverberate? That's what I think you need to play, you know You got to play into the the the the acoustics in the bathroom throw the water on

So you just let the water run the whole time I mean not the whole time when you know, it's you know, if you have it in Hand reaching distance throw the water on as you're you know as you're you're you're about to you know kind of exit Yeah, throw it on Yeah Or so do you do like a cough sometimes? No, I I personally I could say confidently. I've never been in the situation. Oh dude. I've been in the situation Yeah, yeah, yeah, I and then also also if it stinks

What do you do? Do you know what I've done? Oh, this is what I've done Oh, it has I've taken a stoop at a an apartment at a girl's apartment. I'm like, oh my god I can't have this and I'm like, why did I do this? Why did I eat that? oatmeal oatmeal oatmeal So and then I'm like this fucking stinks dude, and there's not enough spray in the house Yeah, or there's no spray and there's no candles nothing nothing you can help So I'll take this the hand soap And I'll just put it in the sink and I'll just kind of wipe it around and then I'll run the water so it gets a little soapy

Okay, I'm like Roman very smart. Yeah, dude. I was fucking desperate. That's very very smart I'll pretend to be on a phone call or I'll play some music I've done I've done washed my hands with very fragrant soap and wiped around the door frame What you've done that of course I have yeah, you could kill a person probably why I don't know Yeah, so like they walk in and it smells good awesome, right? Just like fragrant ass Fucking hand soap pop up. Ah, you know extra extra extra extra on it. Yeah, for sure. You know soapy soap pop up Rinse

Leave a little on there because if you rinse all the soap off You know, I don't know you're trying to say so and then you just go around the fucking frame like Simba Yeah, basically like I'm the fucking Brennan Fraser and the mummy like reading And it works like a charm because then they guess what they walk into is that the soap? Yeah, that's the soap but they can't pinpoint it unless it's like, you know You got fucking like tied and then you then you got a problem, but yeah, it's a fucking simple Yeah, but also anyone that's courteous will put some sort of you know matches or spray or something in their bathroom So like they know yeah can happen, right to try to alleviate the stress a little bit, right?

But yeah, I've never been in a situation where like I've been with a possible suitor. I I've also like when I know like oh man, I'm gonna do the I Then I'll just wait until like the very last second so that I could poop like in piss time Like you know like you're in there for not a long time people like I pee yeah But if I just like hold it where I'm like desperate and I'm like I'm gonna there's gonna be an issue and then I get in there It's like oh And then I just get out of there. I've done I've done in both a joking manner and a serious manner done the pour water into the toilet to make it sound like you're peeing

while taking a shit So you're sitting on the toilet and pouring water in and just hitting you're sitting there And you just like pour a little so it sounds like oh, it's Just pee just a hardy pee You got to manipulate also do you pee right into the water are you pee on the side? It depends on where I am if I want the people around to know like he's peeing he's got a good stream I'm letting it I'm letting it rip if I'm around a bunch of dudes. I'm fucking pushing this piss out I want them to think that like y'all this guy's got some steam

Oh, but see there are certain places where like no matter what you do That's not gonna happen like those porta-potties that are like for the environment that have like the fucking like Tron legacy Yeah, yeah, the bottom of it like it just it sounds just like Like hitting the back of the fucking porcelain port of you know Urinal yeah, but outside of that. I'm just letting it letting it go, babe. Yeah. Yeah, you know It is different now. We have a dog. I have a baby. So when she's sleeping. I have to silent pee So you you hit the side the side Nice. Yeah

What you gotta do Can you imagine taking a piss so hard that it wakes up a baby? I'm sure people have done it. Yeah, I'm sure Keith could do that. He's woken up me with a pee really From downs from upstairs. Yeah, really? Seriously, you've never heard Keith pee from like the second floor. I've I think I've heard Let me back. I think I've been around Keith peeing without me knowing more than I have with him peeing and knowing When Keith takes a piss you could be sitting on the couch. He goes upstairs Goes into the bathroom closes the door takes a piss and it sounds like he's pissing in your ear

Everything every bodily function. He has is like turned up to 30. He fucking drinks It's not yeah, his throat guys. I swear to God if you've never watched Keith on Twitch go do it When he takes a sip of something all you hear is His throat is very loud. Yeah, I'm like, holy shit. I don't know what that was that was exactly what it sounded like That sounded like a gay sex Kind of compilation well, I'm sure you know in the right set gay for gates though gay for gates always and forever, baby Yeah, but yeah Keith. I remember when we were in Austin It sounds like his pee holes like this big like you could feel like a silver dollar in there or a hat

What's that called a half dollar a half dollar? That's it. I still have one of those really. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it was like my grandmother was just about to ask you how much I mean, no, I mean, it's it's well It's a half a dollar. No, but like certain coins are worth more than they're well Yeah, because like they're like older and like more rare metals What have life to be collecting fucking pennies Yo, these people that collect stamps shut up, okay, that's the one thing I don't get Frankie what you're a collector though Of what though go ahead children's toys bingo If I'm gonna fucking collect anything it's not gonna be fucking stamps put them on a page Wow

Montana who gives a fuck Rather see holy shit. This is the fucking artilatron from Power Rangers turbo We got friends of the show today, who do we got who do we have? All right Starting with we have better help here better help is online counseling So if you want to start communicating just under 48 hours with an therapist you can do so through better help Also, they make it very seamless to jump from Counselor to counselor so you find the right one that is best for you

And they are committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches. All right, so go check them out better help comm slash yard You will get 10% off your first month Like I said online counseling you could talk to them text them, you know, do whatever you want And it's very easy a lot of people been using it Over 1 million people who I've taken charge over their mental health with the help of a experienced professional So if it's something you wanted to try, you know, there's no better time than today So definitely check it out better help comm slash yard again Our listeners get 10% off of their first month at better help comm slash yard. Okay, so go check them out

Next year we have honey honey is a Sorry, honey is like a browser extension that you download and you just attach to your browser and it Supports over 30,000 stores online and it basically just scours the internet for promo codes and coupons and applies the best one To your cart. It's It's free and it's like seamless. It's one of the easiest things in the world and it's gonna just save you money I mean no one's keeping up to date on like which coupons and this and that every single sale or whatever So just have this, you know Sort of extension to help you shop and save money online. I have it on all of my

Computers have it on my laptop my Mac. I have it like everywhere. So I Whenever I do online shopping I make sure that I always have the honey thing, you know ready and active And you just shop and then it's found finds coupons or tells you that like this is the best price you can get He'd apply coupons and boom saves you money. They have saved They're 17 million members over 2 billion dollars in savings. Okay, so this is what you want All right, it will automatically find the coupons for you. So you don't have to do that work So definitely go check them out. Like I said, it supports over 30,000 online stores So yeah, you can just sign on see what you can save money on

But yeah, if you don't have it already go to join honey.com slash basement Like I said, it installs in a few seconds and it's free. So it's join honey.com slash basement But yeah, start saving money There you go. Join honey.com slash basement Next year we have MVMT MVMT watches have the look and quality of four hundred to five hundred dollar watches That you're like paint you're paying like four hundred five hundred dollars at the department store for these kind of watches And these are much cheaper and they're super nice

I have a bunch of MVMT watches and I have they have The blue light glasses as well Very stylish and they're good for your eyes If you spend a lot of time staring at a screen like I do or you're an idiot like I am and you watch TV in The dark which is like apparently very bad for you And you should be using blue light glasses so you don't strain your eyes helps you sleep better as well So yeah, they have that and they have really cool stuff on their site now. They've expanded You know, it's not just like the watches

Like I said, they have the blue light glasses They have some sunglasses and things like that So go check them out join the movement and get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com Slash basement again, that is 15% off today MVMT.com slash basement But yeah, go check them out a lot of cool stuff and great gift ideas as well And lastly here we have simply safe simply safe is an award-winning home security system So, you know, it's engineered with the latest technology you want to keep your family safe

Frankie has simply safe actually him right baby keeping my home safe one day at a time one day at a time You know what I'm saying? So Frankie's out there in New Jersey all simply safe keeping him safe Simply and it was super fucking easy to put together super easy to set up And when you need them the most simply save is there 24-7 with people who care and experts trained to not only keep you safe But make you feel safe. Okay It was named the best home security of 2021 in the US. So there you go proof is in the hood But to learn more about simply safe and how it can protect you and your family visit simply safe comm slash basement today

To customize your system and get a free security camera. Okay, you also get a 60-day risk-free trial So there's nothing to lose that is simply safe comm slash basement spelled s-i-m-p-l-i s-a-f-e comm slash basement. All right, so there you go simply safe protect your stuff. Oh Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the most electrifying segment and all of the basement yard history. That's right keeping it Frank Thank you We've tackled some intense moments here on keeping it Frank, which thankfully you guys as the viewers

Have been wrong along for the ride with we established the Santa gato studios board of directors We've discussed how you Inaccurately and I was born don't worry about it called me a Gatekeeper of dates a datekeeper so to say But today Joey we need to talk something serious, okay, because public health is real important public health is real important, right? Yeah, we're in it. We're going on. We're living the train Public health is very very important because of how crazy this last year's been

Public health is everywhere, but something that people don't talk about enough Is how food prep Can play into public health. All right, let me tell you something Joey I used to work a target you make fun of me all the time, right target. I was a greater target. They don't have graders I wasn't one so there you go. Wait, what? Where's this going? I'm part of my target training. I had to take a food safety course Okay, and it was a grueling day very long and we went through a lot of different stuff They I learned about E. Coli

Listeria. Oh Yes, you know, oh, I know where this is going you son of a bitch Uh something that Joey does ladies and gentlemen that we are here to get him on I'm gonna got you you Is you like to you like to make food, right? You cook dinner. You like to be a cookie guy now, right? You're a cooking guy cookie Joe Okay, cooking Joe chef Joe. Oh boy. What do you like to cook? Chicken oh How do you make the chicken? He doesn't make it. What do you do to it?

Frankie has a problem, but no, I don't have a problem the food and drug Administration in the United States of America has a problem with you now you son of a bitch Continue on with what you were saying. I so I how about this? I use a wooden cutting board For the chicken So Joey you're what you're a chicken breast guy your titty your chick a titty guy chick a titty You're a chick a titty guy. I take those raw breasts out of the fridge and you throw them on Yeah, what in cutting board Joey? Yes, I do. What's wrong with you? Yeah, you made in 2020 You made over 80,000 million dollars

And you have the ability to buy yourself a fucking plastic cutting board. Yeah, what are you using what cutting boards for with raw chicken? I I mean Let me ask you something in it Salmonella is real and it's fucking terrifying. Well, is it terrifying? Yeah, why what isn't just diarrhea Shut up. What? temperature Just internally does chicken need to be cooked to an hurdle in order in or What internal temperature does chicken need to be cooked to in order in order to order to burn off

Germs and bacteria Joey. Do you know hundred sixty? I Have no idea go up a little bit 180. No good lower a little bit 170 a little lower to 165 Bingo, I was right on hundred sixty five degrees Fahrenheit Yeah, okay Do you think let me ask you a quick question? Mm-hmm? Do you think that when those raw chicken particles and that fucking ooze that it comes in When that gets into that wooden cutting board and it seeps down into there you think you're oh, oh Your hot water is gonna get those those

Bacteria is away. I Mean I'm still here. You are I'm still standing by the grace of God. Yeah by the grace of God I will say this I I know that I've done that a couple times and I the last time I did it I I swore off of it. What was the last time you did it? It was like last week You damn fucking right it was I wasn't gonna lie. I know I just did it last week and I and I because I have a picture I know ladies and gentlemen look at that Look at those fucking chicken breasts. They look good though

They do how do you make them did you butterfly them did you just throw them in you say butterfly them? Yeah No, I don't even know that. Oh, no cooking Joe doesn't know what butter flying is and he told me there's nothing culinary about me Frankie all of a sudden is a is Bobby flay. Oh, well listen first of all, I prefer Gordon Ramsay, but if you want to you know, I Also prefer him to be honest you donkey. What are you doing? You pig you French pig? Why why can't you just get I am I am I swore off of it Okay, all right, so can you make a promise to me ladies and gentlemen? This is groundbreaking the next time I make chicken you will see me on now Where did this come from because you I've told you this is bad pure ignorance honestly pure ignorance

Yeah, so you're admitting as a white man that you just don't care what I said as a Spanish man Not as it what no, I'm saying well first of all that is true, but not because you're Spanish because you okay, but Fair honestly, no, I did it because I didn't know but also like I had googled and There was a lot of people saying like as long as you don't have a cutting board that has like it's like Porous, I guess untreated. Yeah, if it's porous or like, you know, whatever There's like clearly like cracks in it like you're cut then you're like fine Like you could like get it off or whatever because a lot of cutting boards

They make with some sort of like treatment on it That's like, you know, whatever, but I was like, you know what I'm just not because like I am that person who's like I'm not like that careless where I'm just like whatever. Yeah, you're a smart person So why would you do something so stupid? No, I throw out a lot of shit you do because of germs you do if I leave like Forks in the sink for too long like if I go away for the weekend, I come back garbage throw them I throw them out. I told my sister that she's like, why would you do that? I'm like because like I don't know like mold and shit like I just like it freaks me out

She's like they're stainless steel. Yeah, you watch them. Yeah, no, it makes no sense and we've gone through that quite a bit I've thrown out and like plates. I remember I remember I remember you can go check out the fucking saying I got a studio's video bed bath and big titties where we discuss When that happened, yeah, I just I just throw stuff out. So so I'm off of it I'm on my spore up the stuff ladies and gentlemen. This is a first here on keeping it Frank my skills at Discussing this we're so good That it is made Joey change his mind. Can you look into the camera? No, I know shut up and look into the camera

Okay, and say I repeat after me. I hi Joseph, Joseph come on Take this serious I I Joseph Joseph Santa gato wine steams What what do you have to tell us now? What'd you just say? Will not will ma camera will ma will not will not camera camera

Use raw chicken chicken on anything but a plastic or glass cutting board ever again Because keeping it Frank's Showed me exactly Exactly what I was wrong We did it ladies and gents. This is a breakthrough. Great job. This is a breakthrough

Yeah, I mean, I'm just you know, I learned and I you know, I'm like, yo, I probably shouldn't do that raw chicken is one of those things that like The you know, do you ever find yourself? Let me talk. Yeah Freaking yourself out because of hypotheticals like being like, yo, I could do this and I'm scared because I can do it Like I think of like, yo, there's a day where someone can serve me raw chicken and I'm terrified of it Dude, I don't even think it's that bad It's not but it can be like that's the thing is like it's like it can be bad because if there isn't a Salmonella outbreak somehow I could kill people

Remember how many people fucking like gotten like super super super super super super like close to death sick in like 2000 and what like 2004 2005 2006 from that E. Coli outbreak at Taco Bell of all places. Was it talk about? I thought it was like Chipotle I don't think she probably was around in 2004. Was it? Or like it only I remember E. Coli and Chipotle like I remember that I mean maybe that but I'm saying like it was a big thing That's when it like got really bad and people were like remember mad cow disease. What the fuck was that? Yeah, people were like, yo drink cow's milk. You're gonna go fucking insane Yeah, I don't know. I mean listen. I I'm not Saying I'm down to get salmonella ever unless it means that

You know gates. Well, we're gay for gates. I'll get some salmonella for you Bill But you I'll marry you, but I want you to get salmonella eat this handful of raw ground turkey. Oh God It's also how much money for you to just bite into a chicken breast a raw chicken breast and just Swallow a bite It would oh my god, it would be really hard for me to get it down. I would oh man. Yeah, that's what I'm saying I don't I don't ever I

would say I Would say at least 25k Yeah, that's heavy. Can you offer that? No, I'm not gonna do that. I can't watch you do that so close There are people in like fucking Japan there are restaurants that make chicken tartare and it's just seared chicken Okay, I can like it in addition to tartar not a fan. Oh, I like it Mm-hmm tuna tartar is quite good tuna is not bad But like I but I like I also I just I don't like it. It's just raw like as raw as raw can be

I just think it's too much Like even my steaks like I like a little cook, you know, I don't want it to be like I'm fucking cutting into this thing And I can I'll eat a steak Whatever really? Yeah, I mean some people get it like like Vin my sister's fucking husband. He gets fucking Steaks and he's like listen just walk it by the fire and then he'll eat it You know rare they call it. Yeah, like black and blue like it that is gross to me like when it's like Pink and it's still like whatever like, okay, but this dude gets it. That's like dude. I could like literally it's my preference Is medium rare? I'm excuse me. Excuse me. Um, yes, excuse me

Excuse me, excuse me. It's kids. Fuck it out Excuse me, excuse me. I'm sorry. What's your preference? My preference is medium rare. Yeah But you know, I'll take if it's a little more on the rare side, I'll be fine if I well if I um, I Usually if unless I'm at a nice restaurant if I'm at a nice restaurant, I'll get medium rare But if I'm at a restaurant where I'm like, I don't know I get medium Well, yeah, I'm not getting the steak from every I'm not going to fucking crave and being like yo Give me a steak medium. Yeah, you know like well like that's what I'm saying

Like if you're gonna get like I don't know you're at some place you're getting like steak and eggs or something I'd be like well steak's not the thing here a second eggs. Usually it's a thin steak So you're not getting yeah, but I'm saying like when it's like if I'm not at a steak house Or like a really nice restaurant that I usually do medium just to be on the same side That's fair because I don't because some people just fuck it up. What about like You're not a big like sashimi guy, right? I know you like sushi, but you like like shrimp fucking like shrimp tempura rolls No, I don't like shrimp. I like spicy crab. Yeah, all right So cooked but like you wouldn't take down like just like a piece of raw salmon on top. I don't like salmon. Really?

No, I said I had salmon at a What the fuck was that? Was it your sister's? Bridal shower not bridal shower. What's the thing before a wedding? The rehearsal dinner. Yes We were also very drunk that you remember that um, yeah Oh, there was pictures of beer what they idiots They just brought out pictures of beer and didn't expect us to house them in a minute Yeah, that was that was a thing but I had had the salmon there and I was like this is not I don't like those

I like salmon. It's too fishy. I don't think that's true. I think salmon is fishy. It's a fishy fish I don't think it's a fishy fish. I think fishy fish is more like, you know Branzino sure, which I haven't had and I fucking ever if anything I think red snapper Branzino the ones where like a whole fish comes out and you can like see the eyes Yeah, I don't want to stare at my food at all. I fucking made an octopus the other day I saw that and I you just grill it, right? There's a whole process. You have to fucking beat it like it owes you money. Really? Yeah, you have to punch it up Dude, I put this octopus first of all octopus are fucking big and you cook them and they come out small because you know

Yeah, and this thing I put it here. It was like the fucking tentacles were coming out Did it have a head it did I had to cut it off. Oh my god. You actually did that. Yeah Yeah, I got you free so it comes like what do you do with the head you turn out it comes like a full octopus like chilling like well No, it's dead, but And you have to cut the head off that has the eyes in it. It has the brain Everything and then you cut it you cut the head off and then you have to remove the beak and the the ink Beak. Yeah, they have beaks. Yeah Like a bird like yeah

What I thought they just suck it through that hole on the bottom the hole in the bottom has a beak, baby They have beaks you didn't you really didn't know that an octopus has a beak. I thought I just had a suck hole Okay, let's let me show you real quick Octopus beak is it like hard? It looks like a beak Let me see it's a beak What the fuck that's how they eat What do you think they just suck on something they have that much suckage power? Yeah, no they fucking bite

I thought it's like, you know the thing that like cleans the bottom of pools and just sucks up all the dirt a vacuum Yeah, I thought it was like that. No, this looks like a legitimate like a talon. It's it's a biting beak dude Just learn that so you have to You have to cut the head and has the eyes and everything still intact. You can see the eyes see the brain Cut it pop the beak out pop this the sack out sack. Yeah, all sack. No the the ink sack. Oh Did you play with it? You like sprayed some no, I didn't do that. I was like whoa. Oh, yeah, what you played with his sack. Yeah, it's a little

All right, and then you fucking beat this thing like you gotta tend to rise that motherfucker bang bang bang beat it boil it You have to boil it for like 45 minutes, and then you throw 45 minutes Yeah, you throw that bitch on the grill and fucking Give a good chef's kiss. I like octopus. It's good. I'll make it for you next time you come over You don't care. No, you don't want it. No, I just don't want you to make the octopus But yeah, so why do you have to boil it for 45 minutes? That's a long time. It's like the inside Okay, listen, how do you it comes out perfect? Why the fuck do you care?

You think they just throw a fucking dead octopus on a grill. Yeah. No, that's what you cook most things Some things a lot of things Frank good amount of things everything I think But octopus right, you know Speaking of wait, hold on. No, I had you want to talk about animals the other day I don't know how I saw this someone may have DMed it to me or like sent it to me on Twitter or something I don't know You know what I'm just gonna show you okay I'm gonna show you I don't want you to say anything. I just want you to look at it and

Then I'm going to explain Uh Wait, will I not know what this is? No, you're gonna know exactly what it is. Okay? But I just want you to look at it. I don't want you to say anything Okay, and then I'll explain to the people what you're looking at. Okay So what Frankie is looking at right now Is a picture of a pig With

Some of the biggest balls you've ever seen in your life. Yeah, in fact, they're so big That the pig has taken a a shit And the shit is just sitting on its balls The best part is the image you clicked on the caption is the truth behind piggy poop balls First of all, did you see what I typed in to find that picture pig balls poop poop Pig balls poop. Yeah, someone sent me that picture. I was like, oh my god. This pig has the fattest balls Why what is this like a thing? Apparently pigs have some pigs have fat balls That's that is but like that's that is those are also tight too. That those are also like that's a

Legitimate poop that looks that looks like it hurts Like those balls don't look like they hang and like like they're enjoyable balls. Those look like they're a pain Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like a power lifter's stomach Yeah, oh my god, what are you typing? I'm typing in something else. What are you typing in? You'll see Great But yeah, I saw a picture of a pig shitting on its own balls And it's just a log of shit sitting on balls

Like I don't even know how that's pop So I typed in elephant dick I never saw an elephant dick until right now That's pretty much what I thought it would look like Like a burnt tree. Yeah That thing is just like the roots of a redwood I'm just gonna type in animal penis and find my favorite one Are they're like, yeah, I shouldn't have done this

What is it what is it it's a it's a that's a that's a pissing elephant dick Oh, I mean that's not their trunk. Um, no, I believe that's a that's a that's a fang. That's a big ol fang Oh my god Yo, honestly penises are trash, dude I don't know why like the animal kingdom and penis are just not I feel like you're up to something I don't know why like you haven't even me a look. I'm not upset. No, I feel like you're I feel like What would I be up to? I don't know this. I think this is sort of trick. I already got you with my keeping it frank thing You didn't get anything. I did get you. I did get you saved me from salmonella. Uh, well any coli listen

Don't bite the hand that feeds you you try to save the hand that gives you money, you know and I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to be hurt Gotcha. Um so So anyway back to this pig shitting on its balls Yeah Like that that's something we missed on the field trip in pre-k. Oh, do you remember that? I still get the smell and remember that and then you remember that you're like, oh, this is a uh

A horse that'll remember you forever. Wait, what you don't remember that we met a horse and they were like, yo Horses have the craziest memory So do you apparently you remember this we were in fucking pre-k. Yeah, I remember a lot from pre-k I really do What else do you remember? Wait, we met a horse and they're like this horse is gonna remember. Yeah, they were like, yo That's how they told us like horses have like great memory. They were like, yo, this is a horse It'll remember you and like you come back in like 20 years. It'll remember you horses live that long

I don't know if the horses live that long, but if they're if they happen to live that long, they'll remember you I remember um remember when we sat For that like fucking like, uh, it was like our profile shadow picture Yeah, do you remember that for graduation and uh, I remember that I got screamed at from our teacher Miss palella palella. She had she had some bass Did she she had some bass. She was a nice woman. I remember all the girls would chase joey That I don't remember. Yep, because they liked you surprise Well, I was in love with what's her name?

What do you remember her name? Is she a part of like the infinity stones? No, there's no childhood love. Actually. Yeah, we could add two more There's two of them in that class. All right. So I remember one name in particular I don't know if you want me to just like let it right. Yeah. Yeah, let it right Jackie. Yes And then alexa That's right. Yes. So those two that's part of the infinity that that completes the gauntlet. That's the gauntlet That's the gauntlet of joey's childhood love. I'm gonna have men who make a fucking uh, uh Just like different names me as Thanos and it's gillian jamie jane jackie alexa

Wait, wait, hold on it's it's jamie gillian Jane alexa jackie. Oh, I need one more kelsey That's a pretty good one too. That's a good one. Yeah, but but no, but no, um, uh, daphne Daphne be on there, maybe but that's like later on. Uh I'm trying to Fucking who else That is funny though. That is funny. We that's the infinity gauntlet. Yeah, it is it is it is

That's how hot joey was he had multiple girls. I remember first one You know these girls like to be yeah, they did well, that's a lie like all of them did you were a hot kid Gillian never Gave me attention. Well, and also jane only fucked with me because she was so smart and she's like, you know She also she she saw you were good at tennis too. She was like, yo, hold on. Yeah. She's like, oh, yo, hold on Let's play knockout Also, I'll learn the backhand from you, but that's about it. Yeah, I remember I had uh One girl liked me and that was it. Who is it? I'm not gonna say this person's name

Say the first letter see Okay, and I remember like I was like damn like that person likes me. All right, whatever. I mean cool. Someone likes me, but All right, we were also in fifth grade and then and then middle school middle school way different Uh for some of us. I didn't have a lot of girls that liked me. I just I like That's not true. No, that is true There was a point where I went to school

It was just all like fucking like russian jews and like I was like the cool the coolest thing from what I was told I'm not sitting here saying like, yeah Who's walking around with like a leather jacket? I used to walk around with a fucking marshal falk jersey And a and a chat ocho sinkle jersey damn fucking right franky would go to the park and take fake pictures catching a football That happened once he would grab that happened once franky. Fuck you. You weren't even there So you can't even talk shit Franky would have a A football in his one hand right and then he would just jump in the air and do this

And someone take a picture of him and he posted on facebook. Fuck you it happened once Uh, and then never happened again because you instantly called it out on fucking my space I remember I was so pumped. I was like, yo these fucking pictures are dope and joey on my trees are like these are all fake It's like a fuck you. I'm trying to get my fucking my game on man. I'm so kid fucking kid You couldn't let you couldn't ever just let me be happy. Oh, okay shut the fuck up Oh god, yeah, I don't I don't I don't know if I if I could make a gauntlet for fucking I bet you I can make a gauntlet for you, but I'm not gonna do it. Don't because it's a different thing But I can make a gauntlet. I'm sure we'll do it off the air. You'll make me a gauntlet

Because the names that I would pull out. Oh, yeah, like fucking I I had some I had some names Yeah, one of them. Uh, I'm not gonna say it. No, I I I already know at least four Like at least off the bat. Oh, man. How many is the the gauntlet six six six six infinity sounds. Yeah Oh god. Yeah. Oh my god. I need to find one more name Well, I think we got you a couple good ones I feel like there's gotta be another there probably a good one. That is a good one. She moved away the Third grade you remember in third grade. She she moved away in second grade and she came Showed up. She showed up on that like the last day of school. We were having an ice cream party and she was just like

I'm here. I'm here for the ice cream. Well, first of all, why? Yeah, second of all You owe my boy here an explanation You just ran away and broke his heart son of a bitch. You're fucking kidding It's just like showed up. She was like, yo cool ice cream movies Like I'm just gonna sit in the back of class Joey. He wanted a lot of explanation. I was like, yo, baby You know I'm saying like second second grade had a huge crush on this girl. She was giving me stuff on valentine's day Your best friend then she moved. Yeah, she moves To god knows where I mean long island. Yeah, she could move 10 minutes away, but that's like that's light in third grade

You're basically dead. You're basically on another planet. Yes. So and then the last day of third grade went the whole year without her I'm trying to get over her. You know I'm saying I'm talking. You did well. You did well. I was proud of you talking to tiffani I'm talking to puja puja and stacey were there stacey stacey was there You know they were there stealing her fruit gels. You know jamie made her way back in somehow I think she was a very resilient young girl She was and then and then all of a sudden last day. I'm like having a good time being ice cream all of a sudden Kelsey walks through the door through the fucking door like she owned the module She walked in I was like my world was rocked this kid. I mean

How do you come back from that? Frank? He's like, yo my boy here. I'm sitting there boxered up first year Yeah, he's wearing boxes for the boxers for the first time. I didn't get boxes until like fifth grade Excuse me. Uh, my boy. Oh you owe him an explanation and you're sitting there Fucking watching little rascals none the wiser me and me and ryan mccann just trying to have some vanilla ice cream On ice cream day. That's like the last day of school. Imagine this people Imagine you're you fall in love with someone hard They're giving you notes like yo, you're my best friend. Yeah, and then they just leave you Gone no explanation

No, like yo, I'm done. This is what you did didn't even tell me you were going she and her family picked up Those selfish idiots and fucking left And now she's just like everything is cool And then I think she had the balls to get married. Yeah, fucking idiot. How dare she Dude, I think they're all married Actually, no, I know I know jamie's married. I know kels. I think kelsie got engaged I have no clue. Uh, and then what's her name is married to who one of them. Oh, Alexa. Alexa. Yeah, yeah

Um, god knows where that girl jackie is who we don't even know if she's even alive I don't even know her last name. You ever think about that I saw at 40th street park one day and I was just like what I like re Wait, yo, hold on I think that she was at the park and then you were there. Yeah, and then you told me Yeah, I called you and like get over here You was like a ghost walk don't know who's here I remember like in like eighth grade we like fucking like re hung out and like became friends on my space and like

I went to like a sweet 16 with her. Really? Yeah, and like it was like cool But I was no joey santa gato. First of all, I was no I think we never you didn't have the confidence as reading joe Yo, god, this is so fucking funny to me. Yeah. Yeah, we have to like I guess we have to look them up Jane's married to andre agacy or someone. Yeah, I think Pete samples. I think so Just like I'm pretty sure she's a VP somewhere. Oh, yeah, she's making 200k the us open is renamed after her Yeah, I think she's making at least 200k somewhere. Yeah, she's also very smart She was on those those brown colored books when we were still on like light blue. I'm gonna start looking all these people up at linkedin Not linkedin. Yeah. Yeah. Just like it's no. I want to see what they're doing

Oh, I mean instagram will tell you the exact same thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, linkedin. They could see that you look them up That's true. I remember I had to do that when I worked like doing like investigation like social media like digging. I had to like Turn my stuff off so they couldn't see it or like Like just like look up like a blanket look up. Yeah, and you can't see like who their connections aren't so like that But like linkedin, I'm sure they're out there, babe Yeah, I'm gonna have to find them. You can do it I believe in you. Anyway, I think we should wrap up here before we start name dropping even more Oh, yeah, we've already these people honestly if people aren't watching and being like, yo, that's me

What's wrong with you at this point? I think it's so funny when we use name drop from like fifth grade No one gives up. First of all, not only do these people I pray for the day that I get hit up Me too. You know what I'm saying? No one fight like, yo My son Panos is like, yo, why are you saying dude? I all I care about is Muhammad Alam to hit me up and just be like, yo What's up? What's going on dude But I don't know my mood my mood my mood was funny as shit also

Brought me to Chuck E cheese. Good at kickball. Very good at kickball Shady fourth round pick. I will say fifth grade dumb as a doornail Kid was a fucking idiot. Oh, but now he's just like chilling. I think Yeah, we're gonna find these people we we are gonna find them And we're gonna have every single one of them on so they cannot remember a story about us To have people on the podcast from fifth grade. She's like, we're just pouring these memories on there. We're like, I don't know anything I barely knew you guys back Oh god, but anyway, yeah, where did they find you? Frank?

Thalber's eight zero eight five on twitter and on twitch. Uh the frag hours on instagram Go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard You get every weekly episode a week in advance and you get exclusive patreon episodes Joey is about to pump that ass Uh pump that ass full of some goodness And uh, if we reach 8500 we're doing a power hour episode where uh, it'll be exclusive just to the patient So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Yep, and uh, you can go follow the show on instagram and tiktok at the basement yard and go follow me at joce anagato

And again patreon.com slash the basement yard and that is all we'll see you guys next time My