The Basement Yard - #295 - We Signed Up For A TV Show
Episode Date: May 24, 2021Frank & Joe signed up for a TV show and if they are selected, it will be mayhem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. I just hurt my shoulder. Did you? Oh, you're falling apart. You're getting old
You're almost 30. Yeah, man life is coming at you quick. Well, no, it's not you can't joke about sluts anymore
I fit can we let this go? No never ever since ever since that you've gotten progressively older
Yeah, well, that's usually how time works. I think it is. Yeah
We gun dope
I feel good though. What you think you gotta do?
That was pretty good. I was actually really good. I know it's gone down. What you think you're gonna do?
I try to do it. I try to talk right now
All right, I tried talking like that on that Instagram thing where you could do the captions and curse and it didn't know what I was saying
It was like making captions. I would be like thinking you won't go to the pub
And it was like just like making up words and shit like you want to oh you want to rub what's going on Instagram's racist
I well, no, that's not what that is. I think it might be
Not everything's racist Frankie. I know I know it's not okay
Anyway back to white people
No fucking I
Was gonna say like I don't know if this is like I don't actually feel this way
So I don't want to be tried on the streets, but like I find it really hard to be intimidated by like the UK accent
Oh, yeah, you know like when I was watching that show top boy, which is mad good. Oh boy. Oh boy. Yeah, it's really good
Bro, and I'm just like these dudes like roll up on people like oh, you look really sick. Yeah, you know, it's like
It's all funny games so you get stabbed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know everything you get stabbed, but also I'd be like
That's real I feel like it would be even funnier and like the scarier situations like soccer hooligans that like just don't make a lick of
Sense so the color you like oh
They show I don't die for
Components it yeah, I'd be like this is funny and then I'm dead
Dude Liverpool or something. I don't know. Yeah, I don't even know those soccer hooligans take it serious
Yeah, they don't play games. Yeah, the players play the game, but they don't play a game
They don't play games about the game. They well, they don't hate the player or the game
They hate they actually love the game. They love the game and the players
They love everyone but the players and game don't play on the other side
They love the players they love the game, but don't play about the game because they don't play that that's really good
Yeah, we gotta put that on a shirt exactly you gotta put that on a shirt
Don't hate the player don't hate the game just hate the players who play the game never mind there is it
I had me I had it and then I just threw it out. Yeah, but anyway, so um I
Went to a dealership again. Obviously it was loads of fun card dealership. Yes. What do you think I would other dealerships?
I don't know weed Joe's coming out. You're those are dispensaries. Oh, I didn't know I thought a dealership
I'm going in and make a deal. Well, maybe I just have price. It's weed now. You can do whatever you want
It's fucking legal people are just like what what used to be like $10 now
You'd be like, you know, or or take it for six, you know, you could try to fucking, you know
I can't wait till Karen's getting the weed game and then they ruin everything. Oh, I'm gonna call this manager over your fucking
OG purple Kush Hayes
No, but I went so I went to a car dealership and as I said on a previous episode I was looking for like Range Rovers and
I
I don't think I'm gonna get one because I'm just not having good luck here. Well, they're Range Rovers
They're big cars and they're expensive. They're expensive, too
But not only that but so the last time was just whatever. It was like a comedy bit
basically and but this time I
Can't you can't make this up. I literally walked in I went to the one in Manhattan
I purposely didn't go because I'm like, it's gonna be super busy there. Yeah, yeah, huge location. I've passed it
It's big. It's very big. Yeah. Yeah, so I I just I just made sure that we were recording. I don't remember hitting the
So I go into the dealership
Walking to the dealership dealership walk up to the guy. I'm like, hey, man
I you know, I was looking at like, you know the range like I yeah, I don't know why that matters, but his name was Jim
James it was a J. I don't think they're I don't think I've ever Jim short for James. Am I yeah. Oh, yeah, there you go
You didn't know that I could be Jiminy Jiminy Cricket. I don't think anyone is really named Jiminy Jiminy Cricket
There's a cricket and that's it. Yeah
But I was like, hey man, you know, I was looking at the range the sport
So I was like, you know, I'm interested in like, you know, just talking about against no, like, you know, what the fuck, you know, whatever and
He just goes. Yeah, oh
We don't have any any cars
Wait, that's what he said to me. I don't have any cars
I walked into this place and I said I'm trying to get a car
He told me none. We don't we're fresh out of cars
Right. This place is a car dealership one thing they sell that they they have one item
That's in the name where they make dealers car dealership this ship. Yes car dealerships are pretty unique
Because you can't go there for anything else but a car
Think of any what other places can you think of like even even like, you know
Anywhere else you can go and get an assortment of things for the most part
You can go to I hop if they don't have pancakes, which would be just insane. They got waffles. They got sausage
They got the waffles, but you go to this place and we have just cars and he's like, I don't have any cars
I'm done and I was like what and then he and then he says this and then I'm like, okay
When like are you guys like getting some or like, you know, you're interested
This guy's a bad salesman. He needs to make it happen. Well, he has nothing he could do. He's got no cars. So the guy
So the guy goes I was like, yeah, are you are you getting any cars soon and the guy's like, yeah
We're actually getting some at the end of the month. I'm like, oh cool. How like which ones and he's like, oh, those are gone
And I was like, what?
So he so the place that is meant to it stays open. Why even be open? That's what I said
I was like, what are you guys doing here? Stop the lights?
Lock it down settle shut down the shop. I'm walking around. I'm seeing people on computers. There's there's paper
I'm like, what are you guys signing? No cars. There's no they're playing like they're fucking playing games with you
That's what they're doing. Is this another like fucking tactic where they're like, we got nothing then they call you in two days
We got it. We got something. You need it. You need this now
This guy not only told me that it didn't have cars, but that they had negative cars
He was like, we don't have any and then the ones that we're supposed to get we don't have those either
So negative they have so so let me get this straight. They have no cars
They have nothing if I tried to go in there and tried to get no car
I couldn't even get that because they have negative cars. They have negative a car. They are in car debt
They are dead. They owe more cars than they currently physically
I'm trying to help them out of debt. Can I ask you something? Do they have cars in the showroom?
Yeah, they had cars then they had that car
This is a fucking trick someone at that fucking dealership goes Joe Sanagato wait till this dumb bitch comes in here
I dude, I was like I was I was I didn't even know what to say
I took his car and I just walked outside and I like sat in the park for 10 minutes. I just thought about it
I would be very upset. I was just confused. I was not upset
That's so like the next ones we're gonna get is like June 11th
He's like, but even half of those are gone and I'm like, what?
How how do you lose so like why can't he sell you a car and be like, oh we'll get it in like the end of June
Well, he could but I'm not gonna like and that's what what's happening is that
People are going in and they're just buying cars that they're not even seen like they're not gonna like see
I mean you can see a car and like see, you know, whatever and you're gonna get certain things blah blah
But I mean you don't want to test drive the car
You're gonna get like they people are just signing off on it and they're not getting it for like a month
I understand like there's probably a bigger thing at play someone some smart person in the comments gonna be like
You don't understand how the auto industry is backed up. Yeah, and you know what you're fucking goddamn, right?
I don't why the fuck would I know that what honestly?
Why would we care? Who cares a shit make the fucking cars also? They're made out of metal
Wait, there's a lot of that way funnier to interpret it. Oh, yeah
Do you think we care about the actual problems that people face? Oh, I asked the guy
I was like so what you know, what's the day today and then he actually was saying he's like, yeah
We don't do anything so when they do have cars
They don't have leases and when they don't have cars they don't have what they don't have well
The guy at Ford was like we don't have any good ones. They don't have good leases. Oh, so they have shitty leases
It's a good witch and a bad witch. They only had bad witches. Oh my god
This is the world the world so you walk into the dealership. You know the next dealership you walk into it
It's gonna be some more fuckery. I don't know if I'm ever gonna have to I don't blame you
I might just get a website carvana. You could like buy cars online and shit like that and they deliver it
Are you talking about there's a website car Fox?
No, that's the car show me the facts car Fox. Yeah, what is it the car Fox facts? Who fucks that fucks?
I guess
No, but like you walk into this place
They don't have what they are supposed to have and then what they are going to be getting they also don't have yes
So they don't have what they don't have what they don't have is a job for the next month
Because they have nothing to sell good these white devils. Let them fucking rot
First of all, no cars even those cars are like 94k. No car should be that expensive. Well
That one shouldn't I will agree to that if it's meant it's called land rover and range rover
Because they're meant to be driven on a land and on the range. So are you aware that we're currently on land?
Fair that's true. We're not in the sky
But like it's meant to like all the commercials are showing them like, you know driving over those hills that don't exist where it's fucking
Alternating bumpy terrain. It's like you can bring this into the forest. Yeah, it's like who the fuck does that?
Get out and hike like a normal person. No, it's driving through the oh
Yeah, the tires are fucking. Oh, there's a great overlook right over through this fucking wooded area
Let's drive through and trust this who's doing that no one and especially if I am driving through it
I'm not taking one of those cars. Yeah, just once I would like to see a car drive through like the streets of New York City at
Eight miles an hour and just get caught in every single red light. That's what they need to do with car commercials
They need to be like this is comfortable for traffic because all these car commercials are like a fucking wide open like Avenue in
Manhattan where it's like open it up luxury. Yeah fucking greatness
That's not how it is. Tell me how it's gonna be when I'm sitting in traffic
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs at this idiot in front of me with a moronic bumper sticker
And when I have to piss how comfortable is the seat that if I piss on it like I won't realize that I piss on it
You know what I mean?
That you had me and then the last part you really lost me so anytime you're in a car you have to pee
We have diff no no yes. No. Yeah, that's just not it's anytime I get in a car
I I automatically think next rest stop because I have to start I have to pee and then I sit there and I judge like will I make it I
Used to be like that with poop
Don't get me start you want you legitimately like one of the first few times that I came to Connecticut
I was it was like a legit worry of mine like your sister was driving me else
I call this is embarrassing if they gotta tell just to like fucking pull over cuz I got a dump
I don't go on long trips not driving because I don't have control and what do I I'll tell you I'll tell you a fun story
When I'm super hydrated, I'm a fucking issue dude dude
I was stuck in the FDR after Jets game and I swear to God. I had a piece so bad
I was like pinching the tip of my dick and it was like squirting out like an arterial spurt
Okay, this was some fucking serious. That's damaging. It is you can't do that. You gotta you gotta clench within
I don't know what I'm holding. Why are we as a society so against peeing places like let me just fucking pee anywhere
I want yeah, if we're gonna let the dogs piss everywhere
We should be able to piss everywhere like well you can't show your penises to children. I'll fucking come
I'll get a jacket or something. You don't need to see my penis for me to pee
There should be penis booths. No, not penis booths piss booths just like urinals in the street
Not in the street per se this
far enough away from like any
school or like park but just like yo
Emergency peas. I think they're I think I should be illegal to be like oh you got to buy something like fuck you
I'm not buying your yeah, that is suck my horse shit. I'm gonna go piss on your window
That is horseshit
I always walk in and like I instantly feel bad cuz I like anytime I walk into these places
Guess what if you work at a Starbucks in Manhattan, I don't want anything you have
I'll tell you what I want that porcelain fucking castle throne that you got in that bathroom over
I have to set it off. I don't give a fucking shit about your croissant
Yeah, but I think I saw an app recently where you can like order up like an emergency bathroom and it like pulls up in like a van
Ex squeeze me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you call this number and you're like yo
I need to go right now and they're like all right. Yo seven like nine dollars
We'll be there in five minutes hold it and they come and it's like a fucking truck
And it's like yo get in the back of the truck use the bathroom and then they drive away
Are you fucking serious? It's a fucking genius idea
And nine dollars shit
What would you rather do Joey Frank a nine dollars to take a shit know this I'd pay nine hundred dollars in certain situations
That I've been
I will do anything. It's fucking you don't want to you don't want to you know shit in those brand-new, santa gato studios mint green shorts
Oh, he's good guys
What is that bad boy going on sale? I have no idea. It's cool. It's cool. Yeah, there's hats coming
I just said that for some reason. Yeah, there's hats coming and they're sick
I know I can't wait to not get one. No, you're gonna get one. Oh, I will you've been getting every sample suck my peepee
That I don't that's that was a that's not a sample trial. Yeah, it was like a mock
Oh, so you're putting it on display though
I was sent a bunch of different colors and then I picked the ones anything that you get give me one
For me and one for my wife you greedy bitch. So
Here's where we draw a line
Everybody say fuck or or I'll do you one better do me instead of giving me ex-els because you're aware
What's happened? I don't give you ex-els. They do I give you the L's no
I get two larges. Oh, I thought you give me an excel. No. No. Well, all right start getting me a medium
Because that'll fit her and it'll promote me to lose these
Okay, because I've got a pair of fucking bazookas on me right now fat tits. I got the fat titties right now
Someone in my comments or it was on one of the episodes. They said Jesus Christ Frankie do a push-up
It's like
Okay, it's true though, you know sometimes you got to do sometimes
Oh, man, you have to go even know what I just do you remember we we knew someone who said that they walked into a
Poor dealership with with cash
With $10,000 in cash. Uh, sounds familiar. Do you remember that story? Yeah
We know someone that once told us that they walked into a poor dealership with cash and then they were denied
I walked into a uh
When I got my bmw. Mm-hmm. I walked in there
with
Not cash with credit. Mm-hmm and like
Enough money to buy it. Yeah, and they were like, no
What? Yeah, because I mean because at the
my uh
I didn't have a long credit history. Yes. Yeah, that makes sense. Which makes no sense. I have good credit
I've never missed the payment, but I'm just saying I don't know why I'm like
I swear to god. Yeah, never miss a payment. Um, but I was just going I was saying that to show that like
I mean, you know if you walk into into a dealership of $10,000, they're gonna go like what are you?
I don't know any vehicle that costs $10,000 except for a fucking horse and buggy a really good bike
Even then that's got to be more expensive, right? Like Lance Armstrong's riding on like 30k
Oh, yeah, well right now. He's it's not well. I don't know what he's doing
Yeah, I think he's just like lost everything. He lives in like aspen. I think does he I think I could have sworn
I saw something on like vogue or something. I don't know. Is he back
He got he was cheated. He got cheated. He
Someone cheated. No. Yeah, he he was doping, but they were all dope. Who are we all? Yeah. Hey, I'm not we I would have never
Doped why not you doped? No, I'm not doped
But like if if if I was in the 90s and I was a professional athlete and there was no fucking science to catch me
Go ahead. Oh, hell. Yeah. I'd be double dipping into blood. What was he doing double with the blood blood cycling blood?
I don't know. I know he had one ball
Yeah, that was a different that was a different thing that had nothing to do with it
That had something to do with the cancer that he had. I know he had cancer, but like
Did he didn't did he say like it's because of the one ball he needed more?
No, he was doing it because like everyone was doing it. So he's like, you know, we I had to basically keep up
I got a question for you. Okay
Instead of getting him a second week, can I just get my my testicles done like cut out? Well, uh
Yeah, if this was
1813 why 1813? What are the what do testicles do?
Outside of produce come
I mean, it's more of like a pride thing like is it your balls you want to get rid of them?
Are they in your way? You bought a less thing to hurt one less thing to hurt. Yeah
What if you want to come one day?
Why and make a why well like I could make could I still like fucking
Orgasm can I still like do I need to the do I need to bring the physical boys to the party or can I just you know
Imagine them there. I think that you're gonna have a tough time orgasming or finding someone to orgasm you
When you don't have a fucking ball sack
I didn't say the sack is going just the balls in it. You just want to scoop them out
Why not? I'll keep my dick too. That ain't going nowhere. Well, I would hope yeah
This any doctors I don't even know what you're asking any doctors on here
Did you just say any doctors on here like there's doctors watching this? There are who do we do?
We know anyone's in the oar right now about to scrub in like put on the base here
Jesus christ they figured it out
Um, is there do we know I hate this so much dude? I don't know why I love it
I also hate every single doctor show that ever exists on tv like Grey's Anatomy and all these things
Yeah, I don't watch them. There's a thousand seasons of it and like house
Yo house is the same episode every single time it starts with him taking painkillers
Every episode got a problem and he's just like not shaving and he's got a fucked up leg or something. He's like
Yeah, what's with that leg? What is it? I don't he's a doctor fix his own leg
Well, I think he had polio or something that I completely made that up. I don't know
He might have I don't know what polio does to a person, but I imagine it would mess up your leg
I think it fucks up their lungs too. That could do it, but he's just he just takes painkillers and then he's like
Yeah, what and it's like we can't figure out how and then he just walks in he's like
And then everyone's healed like that's the whole show
Every episode is him being like have you tried this?
You know like why would we do that? But just try it and then they're fine and I'm like, what the fuck is this show?
People love their medical dramas do Grey's Anatomy
craziness
Yeah, there was a a bomb in the hospital at one point people are getting killed and shot and people are getting
I mean people are getting killed and shot in hospitals all the doctors the doctors. You never know
Name a hospital where the whole staff is just dead
Oh
Or dying or whatever. I don't know, but I'm sure it's out there somewhere
Was there a hospital in Chernobyl like I'm sure people are hurt over there
Well, yes. Yes, people are hurt in Chernobyl. Actually, Chernobyl is very nice now apparently. I mean, I wouldn't go
I think it's still uninhabited to an extent, but now I'm talking about like animals and shit
Like it's actually like a like a like an animal sanctuary. Not saying sanctuary is a bad word
That I would describe Chernobyl, but I it's it's like
Re-growing okay. Yeah, it's re-growing, but it's also beautiful like there's I'm sure it is
It's really cool to see rabbits with 12 heads. No, no, no, no regular rabbits. Oh just chillin old rabbits
Yeah, like deers and shit cutie cute rabbits and deer just running about
Yeah, I'm just saying, you know
The earth prevails. I think the radiation there is like it's like fucking permanently like fucked
It's crazy
I don't even know what radiation is if you told me like you sat here and explained Chernobyl to me
I like that was the thing people were everyone was talking about that showing how good it was
I watched it like a fucking moron and I was like
Oh, yeah, it's real good. Everyone was talking about like, oh, it's so good. Oh my god
And I'm sitting there. I had no fucking clue what I was watching
Dude, the actual like the craziest part about that is like when it melted like the reactor or whatever
There was like this shit. It looks like elephants foot. Yeah. Yeah, and they said that it weighed like
An insane amount. Yeah, like I it's like hard for me to they said that my mind around
I think I saw something that was like it was so saturated with radiation, which again, no clue what that means
Yeah, radiation. Yeah that you couldn't get close enough to take a picture of it because you it would kill you instantly
Like what and there is a picture of it. I don't know how I don't know yet guys probably
I don't know how they did this
I don't know how they did this but it was so weird because it looks like a puddle on the ground
Yeah, they called the elephants foot. Yeah, but it's so heavy that like you nothing could pick it up
So my understanding which again
Literally none is that it's like chemicals
Radiated chemicals like it's like radium and like xylophomium or something. What it is is dangerous play-doh
It does look fun. It's dangerous play-doh. Don't make something that by the way played with play-doh the other day
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you forget how good that is not me. Oh, you're play-dohing play-dohing up
You've you've played with it. Oh, I ate a little bit
Not supposed to do that. Well, you can now it's non-toxic now that doesn't mean you can eat it
I mean, I was to prove a point. Miles made me a very nice spaghetti ice cream sandwich
And had to you know take a little bit of a bite
What's a spaghetti ice cream sandwich? It is uh ice cream
That is like noodles like spaghetti
on
a cookie
Oh
Spaghetti ice cream. It's pretty good. It was pretty good. Hey, you ate it. I took a little bite
It was very bad. It was very salty. I don't know what it's made of but it was not good
Non-toxic. Yeah, you can eat it now. You can do it all. You can do all that shit now
Yeah, remember those markers that those sent sento markers that I've sucked on a marker
I've licked a marker before like those markers that smell like peaches. I'm like, I'm sucking this marker
Don't give don't give me a marker. That's like cherry and not expect my mouth around the shaft of that pen
Dude, you're gonna give children stuff that smells like candy
I'm sucking it
100% yeah 100 and
100,000 percent and you might be low with that percentage right I might be
But like that's the thing is like all these things that you're not supposed to eat drink or put in your mouth
Look awesome. By the way scratching at one time
I got a test back and I got like a 92 so I got like a scratch and sniff sticker on it humble brag
Scratched it smelled it. It was like this smells good licked it. Why not slammed it
I think that's a science is like if something smells good. It has to taste good. I'm a kid
I'm eating everything don't put something you ever eat paper. Have I ever eaten paper?
How do you think I got rid of these fucking notes that were passed to me, baby?
Yeah, I told you
Frank uses swallow notes like a prisoner, dude
Can't catch them
She can't get them if they're gone
We're passing notes in class and that you should be like what is that and on it would be written like uh,
Stacy's a fucking bitch and he'd be like, oh, no, no, no, and he would just eat it
What's up crazy? Yeah, of course dude. That is don't fucking listen
You're not getting the you know, it's it's like
It's like fucking drugs. You shove them up your ass or shove them down your throat. You can't get them then
I I've definitely eaten my fair share of paper. I've eaten weird stuff. I feel like I remember like I mean dirt
I had a chance. I'm sure I've had dirt. I know I've had sand
Yeah, involuntarily. Yeah, I was gonna say um, I've had sand as as you know as recently as a couple weeks ago
Yeah, I've I I could tell you I've I've recently had paper
Because I remember someone like the gullible dumb bitch. I am was like, yo, you know orbit gum
I'm like, yeah, and they were like, yo the wrappers on orbit gum are fucking dissolvable. You can eat it
I was like, oh, all right. I would just pop orbit with the paper in my mouth. Nice. Guess what?
Joke was on me paper. Oh full paper super paper. It was more paper than normal paper
Yeah, I'm sure it dissolves as all paper does but I will say loose leaf paper was
quite delicious
Very chewy little earthy took it took a while to get it down and once you did though
It wasn't bad. It went in it was definitely in I'll tell you right now though
The I'm getting like goosebumps thinking about biting onto paper. It just like bothers me
Well, you don't bite construction paper those types of things. I mean, what kind of a sociopath are you with those fucking canines?
Maybe you'll well, well, yeah, I mean construction paper is a little more hard to deal with. It's not easy. That's for sure
Dude, why do why were we so like horny for construction paper as kids construction paper is pretty cool because like loosely if it was like
Yeah, it's just regular paper whatever it's in my binder, but then the teacher would be like, all right
We're doing construction paper and I was like
I was a big freak for fucking graph paper dude when the graph paper came out. I was all about all the grids
Oh, it's pretty cool grids. Have you asked me to do a parabola bro? No, dude
I don't even know what that shit is
Give me a piece of graph paper and I'll show you the cutest sine curve you've ever seen in your whole life
I'm pretty sure that I wait pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. Okay
Before sure
Pretty sure, right. I'm pretty sure that I can I completely missed parabolas
Well, I never did that. I know parabolas like my class did x squared
Or sine cosine sine cosine. What's the other one tangent tan?
Do you remember so katoa so katoa? Oh, yeah
I do remember so katoa, but I know that I didn't do well in that year. I was very good. I was a math whiz
I was really really good at math my in I remember in high school
And this is probably when the parabolas started parabolas were about high school my averages
I missed like two classes because I was sick and I
I was like brother rub. Can we for a second just go back and it
What's up, bro? And he would just look at me
And I felt the power of christ in me telling me like you're gonna fucking fail this semester
Well, you did go to a religious school. So that makes sense. Yeah, so he was walking around
He had the robes on and stuff, but he was a cool cat. Oh, so the priests were just teaching about fucking history and math
Yeah, dude, this guy was mapping us hard with the word of god. Are you kidding me? Yeah
How I don't know but it's just you know, you do want to misbehave in that class because not only do you get detention
Did he like feel like ups like did he get like super hard-ons anytime he'd like do like an addition question?
be like three plus
four
I hate that joke um
No, but I my what am I doing?
I just felt like I uh, no my averages were like 84
uh 82 no it was like 84 89 61 way down
And then like whatever some other 80 something. Okay, so but that one semester
I missed two classes and then it not was it and I was telling him like yo, I am not understanding this like I'm just
Like I'm a good student like just help me out and he was like nah, bro
I was really really good at math like time marches on when I was in college
Um, the head of the math department hit me up and they're like, yo, do you want to just be a math major?
And I I I literally went into the meeting. I was like, will you pay for my school?
And they were like no and I was like so then no, I'm not gonna fucking do it. Guess what though
My other my other fucking I didn't get paid either way
My other fucking major wasn't that good at math. Yeah, really really good
Can you do like simple math like not simple math, but like you could do math like off the top of your head like
Yeah, Keith's pretty good at that pretty easy. Um, but the way that Keith does math
I do it like broken
So if you were to that's what he does too if you were to tell me like 68 plus 51
I would do like 60 plus 50 8 plus 1 you do times. Yeah, wait, what you said. Oh 60 plus 50 at least at times
No, I
I don't but that's what Keith does like I never even thought to do that until Keith started explaining that to me
By the way, we're talking about within five years. He's this is what he's explained to me
Uh-huh. Um, so I've gotten this whole time like I still can't do simple addition without like at least pant like writing it down
Yeah, somewhere. No, I got up to calculus three and like differential equations and stuff like that
I actually my junior year did really well in math and they were like we have the option of going to
calculus
or AP calc or stat
uh, probably in stat
I was like bro senior year
Statistics, I like statistics slammed it. Yeah, it's not bad. I remember my mad easy
She put it in terms of like baseball like era and stuff like that. I was like, oh, yeah, but yeah, I went all the way in college
Basically in college. I was trying to pad my grades
So I kept taking math courses because of how fucking good I wasn't math
And I went up. Yeah, I went up to like differential equations and shit like that. I don't even know what that means. It's like
part of it is like you take
The you like the volume of like a cylinder
How to like get that on like a curve and stuff like that on like a graph
I was fucking good, dude. You speaking Korean. I did. I kept all my shit too
Like I kept my books. So like if I ever want to like go back to it, I can just open them back up
like my notes
Did you just say that you kept your notes? Yeah
That's how interested in math you are. Yeah, I have all my notes from like most of my college classes not just math
Wow, you're a digit loving boy. What's up, babe? That's crazy. What's up? I'm not good at that
Were you what was your like your thing in school besides gym?
We know um
English, I guess I could write pretty well. You were you were a good writer
But I won that contest in fifth grade. You remember that what contest
The one about 9 11
That's true
It was 9 11 though
It was what contest did we have about 9 11? It was an essay writing contest. Oh
Yeah, you came to the dinner. That's right. They gave me an award at a dinner. They did
surprise
Fucking I remember. Yeah. Wow. I forgot about that until this very second. Yeah. Yeah
You had to like write an essay about like what it like what fucking nine weird thing. No, it was it was uh, what?
What is a hero or something? Yeah? Yeah, and you talked about my dad's friend a firefighter. Yeah
Yeah, and uh, wow, I forgot about that all the yo looking back
What a good strategy by me bro
Very smart. No way. You don't give it to a kid who's talking about a guy who died on 9 11
Especially in a school who had a teacher who was a firefighter
Hey, who actually who also died on 9 11 died on 9 11. Wait, he wasn't a teacher
He was an after-school volunteer. He was like an actual volunteer. He was someone's
Who's a teacher's son? Yes, but he also
Taught at the hannock program. Oh, I didn't know that that's where I used to play pokemon with him and he would name his pokemon
mr. Ass
road dog
Damn, he liked wrestling like he was he was a big wrestling kid mr. Ass. Yeah
He named his Pikachu mr. Ass dude if you play pokemon you don't name your like
Like nemesis like cunt boy or something like come on. What's wrong with you? I mean, I can't tell you like pussy shit pokemon snap
My name was bitch
Bitch yeah professor oak just being like let's say your pictures bitch
I mean, he didn't say bitch, but you know the words popped up. Yeah, it's cool
I was also mad nervous about like playing gay boy around my mom because of gay boy
Yes, playing with a gay boy. No, what did you say game boy?
I thought you were just opening up about being gay. No, I was like, yeah, I was playing with a gay boy
No, I was playing I was nervous about playing like game boy in front of my mom because like
all of the dialogue was filled with like
Fucking
Shithole like I was just making up names for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Also. You could rename your pokemon
That's what he would do. Mr. Ass road dog like he gave him names. Yeah, I can't even tell you bitch
Fuck thundertips shit. Yeah poop like all of them were
pokemon of mine and just characters
You're a pokemon guy not a pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon pokemon. I hate pokemon
Why pokemon that's what the the parents lazy the parents did the pokemon
My dad would pokemon your dad pokemon hard. Oh, no, he probably main. He probably pokemon. What's with this pokemon?
My dad hasn't pronounced anything correct. He used to think uh twitter was twat
I was like different things that's comedy for that's he's just that's a bit well
Yeah, I hope but I don't he's like you twittin twatting and I was like, I'm not doing either
Your dad's not a dumb person. So when he says stuff like that, I know that it's it's a bit
Oh, man, I I think you're dumb for what you just said. Why I don't think my dad's like a like I never said
He's a genius, but he's not dumb. He's got spots where he shines like construction. Mm-hmm and like
You know negotiating at least yeah, but everything else is very dark
Yeah, I think about that my dad sometimes very great. He'll never listen to this one because he doesn't approve of me and two
I'm kidding but like my dad and two it's in English. Yeah
If my dad doesn't hear
Like he's not gonna fucking listen, you know, whoa, olimpica like he doesn't give a fuck now. He's listening. He's like, hold on
Wait, go go back to that. Go back for a second
Was that whole hey, so don't I like that one
Oh
If it doesn't have the gypsy king stamp of approval my dad doesn't give a fuck
My dad was we were in the car and we were passing a billboard and my dad sees me go
You know what that is. I'm like, what it goes
Dead serious a fucking dead series. He goes no
sublicical messaging
And I was like dad. What the fuck did you just say he threw a k in there? He threw a fucking whole k in there
Subric sublicacal
I'm like, what did you say? You got a sublicacal messaging. You don't realize what you look at
And I'm like dad. It's subliminal and then he died laughing
My dad is a smart person and what he is known like what he's good at
My dad once came up to us at the lake house because when we were
For years we at the whole summer we'd spent at the lake house. Yeah, my dad had a laptop
And he came back and the laptop cord. You're saying lab top
You're saying lab
You're like the first time you sat and I let it go but then you went and then the laptop and you said it
I guess I'm just laptop lap laptop laptop
Put a p in there two p's laptop. Oh, I was gonna say there is a p
And the the cord was like the the power cord got like snipped
But my dad thought that one of us took scissors and snipped it
Instead of it was like in a doorway
So my dad said he's like, all right, which one of you motherfuckers. I know exactly what happened. You cut the cord
I was like, dad, let me ask you something
If I wanted to get back at you, you think I would snip your fucking power cord on your laptop that you're probably using to watch porn? No
I'm fucking toss the whole thing. Oh, god
Laptops speaking of laptops
I'm gonna pick up this laptop so I can get to the ads here
Can you buy me a car? Yeah
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Uh, and lastly here we have liquid death
That scared the piss out of me scared you right? It did. Yeah liquid death
What is that gasoline? No
It's some of the sweetest fucking water you've ever had in your life
Well, that's sweet just refreshing water from the Alps
That I don't even know I don't even ask him where the Alps are. I don't even know if the Alps are in the sky
In the swiss sweet Sweden. I know no no no austria
Guys, we don't know but listen. This water is amazing. All right, and it looks like a beer
It looks like a can looks like beer not the water. No, no
No, the can looks like a beer. It's called liquid death. There's like a melting skull on it
So you look like a fucking badass
You know why they call it liquid death because you're fucking you're you're beating a piss out of your thirst
You're murdering your thirst. Fuck that thirst up and it comes in aluminum
Aluminum can so you're also murdering the plastic
thing so if you know if you care about the turtles doll
Or the dolphins or any sort of add I think everyone's affected by plastic. I think all of us are yeah
Switch to the can. You know what I'm saying? Also, it's just mad refreshing to drink out of a can
It just is it's just easier. You ain't lying. You got tall boys. You're slamming them
It's for also you could drink them you could shock on them and guess what also you got
Because if you're if some people like myself not a big still water boy. Oh, no, what do I need?
A sparkling water boom liquid
Liquid death is gonna fuck your thirst up with their sparkling water and their mountain water
Yeah, they'll fucking nail your throat a little bit. They're gonna bubble. They're gonna fuck you up. Yeah, they'll do everything
Hey, man, they said just just let it rip let it rip. Um, but uh, yeah liquid death big fans of liquid death
Uh, whenever they send me a care package
I keep telling them you got to send more
Because they you don't send enough ever like I run through cases of this like you would like it's nobody's business
Yeah, he and and he also doesn't give me any so what are you gonna do? Oh, well, I was just
Absolutely robbed by frankie last time. I was like, hey man, you want some of this like, you know, they sent me
And he just took all of them. Well, listen, that's the that's the kind of that's the kind of
Fucking passion I have for liquid death. That's how fucking good that shit was whatever
Um, but anyway, if you go to liquiddeath.com slash basement
You'll get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water
Um, or just grab some of my whole foods or 7 11. Okay
If you're going to 7 11 because you want to get one of those
80 year old hot dogs or a fucking 48 gallon slurpee. Why don't you hold it?
Go get some fucking water with death, baby
Trust me. You need it
Also, if you're going to whole foods to pay 50 dollars for fucking but almond butter
Also stop in and get a fucking liquid death you piece of shit. Yeah, listen
If you have 80 dollars to get fucking roasted cauliflower, you also have another couple bucks to get liquid death. It's worth it
Yep, uh liquid death.com slash basement. Again, you get a free set of koozies
With your first order of any case of water guys telling you liquid death. This is the one. Uh, definitely go check them out
Hey, what do they expect?
Also guys, make sure you go check out the patreon page patreon.com slash the basement yard
You sign up you get every weekly episode a week in advance
So you can get in on the jokes and the conversation before everybody else does you watch those videos
You say hey comments from six days ago. I want to be first. I want to be second
Guess what sign up for the patreon and you can do it and then also every single friday exclusive episodes
No one else gets the opportunity to see except for our patrons and we're at
8200 right now as of recording we get to 8500
We're doing a power hour episode. Joey and I are grabbing a fucking 12 pack
We're pouring the shot taking a shot of beer every hour and lord knows every minute every minute for four hours
No, it's gonna be dead. I'll be dead
No every minute for an hour and we don't know what the fuck will happen. I'm scared
So make sure you go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard
And joey the the boop the booping in your butt video should be up soon. Huh? Yep. It's going up right. That's going up right today
Right today. So if you want to see joey finally get creampied
You can go go to patreon patreon.com. Joey doesn't get creampied. Okay, you get an enema of cream in your butt
It's not cream. It's a creamy substance. It's a watery substance. It's watery
It's less cream the viscosity is not as aggressive as like a heavy cream
But there is some level of creaminess to it. I'm not gonna hear it and I listen. I know what happened in there
All right, I know
How you feeling?
Clean
So go check it out again patreon.com slash the basement yard, baby. Yes
Um, also now that we've gotten, you know, all this stuff out of the way, uh, you know
Cool show loved it, you know, whatever people are like, oh man, you guys are funny
I need to apologize to a to a
A group a group of people. Um, specifically, I you know, I have no idea what you're gonna say right now
So I don't know like it's just the end of the basement yard
No, so listen, it's actually am I broke again? I'm I I was
Laughing so hard when this happened that I hit my forehead on my steering wheel. Oh, okay
You'll be careful. So yeah, no, so this is what happened, right?
I was in the car and um
You know, it was just me and Keith in the car and we're waiting outside of cvs
Okay, and we're just
You know
It's in like a parking lot and I'm and there's spots everywhere. I'm blocking one spot
Because I'm not parked in it. I'm just like you pull up. Yeah. I'm like perpendicular. Is that right?
Like a t 90 degrees whatever it is
Um, so I'm I'm there and I'm blocking the spot and then there's a car behind me
And I'm like what the fuck is going on like just go around me, you know
So I pull up like a little bit and then you know, they just like get closer to me
So I throw on my hazard so that's no like I'm not moving like I'm staying here
Um, and then they honk at me and I'm like, what the like there's enough room
So I'm like the fuck is wrong with this guy. It's fucking idiot. Oh boy
Pull away
Right into the handicapped
Yeah
Bro, I was like I literally was like the fuck is wrong with this guy
Almost almost almost let it ring almost let it ring. I almost dropped it on our word. That would have been bad
I almost been like, what is this?
Almost good. Well, you're a better person for not doing it. I'm proud of you. Well, I just did it. So I
So I but like I do it on there. I pulled up bro and me and Keith are looking in the rear view and we just see this car just
Pull in we
And then I just went like this
Oh, they're handicapped and then
Yo, Keith burst into laughter and I was laughing so hard. I was I was like slamming my head on my fucking. All right, but here's the real question
I didn't I didn't I didn't want to even see you didn't even want to know I couldn't look for who exited that car
I didn't know if it was just like an old person or for someone who had some like, I don't know what the fuck was going on
I was gonna say it could have been it could have been one of those people that just like rig the system
That like, you know, everyone knows that old Italian like middle-aged Italian guys just like me. I'm perfectly fine
But I tell them I got a stigmatism and guess what I'm handicapped. Yeah, you know
Uh, but yikes. Yeah, it was it was uh, it was a thing. I gotta say I'm a little upset. All right
Uh, because you're pronouncing your t's insane. Here we go
There used to be
A lot of parking for new and or expecting mothers and that would be great
I'd be driving in the car Becca and I would be going to Costco or fucking she wants to go to home goods or whatever other fucking stupid store
And there used to be like multiple spots now
They took all those away for these people that are doing the drive-up things
And it's like why is it when Becca's now pregnant and I get to reap the benefits of her doing all this hard work
That I can't fucking that they take these parking spots away. Wait, it's for what dropping off
No, well now it's for like the drive-up orders like you can like order it and like drive up texas
When you're here and just bringing to your car no contact
So now if you're a new parent then you gotta like they used to have ones where it was like, oh, here's handicap
And then here the spot right next to it'll be like three spots for
pregnant, you know expecting and or
new mothers
And that would be great because there was one time back and I got it and we got fucking right out
Walked in big bang bang bought our stuff, you know, whatever bought the fucking expired makeup from marshals
And then we got back in the car and we were good
Now they took all that shit. It's gone. Damn. It was very upsetting sundew. It was I got sunned. I did get sunned
Yeah, that's crazy. I can't believe that you were blocking like you're gonna get canceled now. Do you that well?
Well, I just apologize
Oh, oh, it's then you see the handicap community for for like blocking the spot pre-canceling apology. Do you know?
Yeah, you got to get ahead of it. That's damn damn right. You do. That's why I go to media training
Why don't you tell him about some of your older?
Can you imagine that first of all?
The idea that there's like media training
What's media training? That's a real life thing that people do. What do you mean media training like talking to the media?
Oh, what they train you how to talk to them and how to like dance around questions. That's so stupid
It's it's it's isn't that insane that like just just answer the question or just don't
Take things out of context media
Or don't like yeah, don't ask a fucking
Well, it's because people like TMZ will be like fucking
Arnold Schwarzenegger blinked three times during this question
Nazi, you know like Jesus christ like you're looking way too much into things people make money off of that shit
I saw a brief clip of like the Kardashians in media training and like they probably just do it because they have nothing else to do on their
fucking tv show, but
It's like insane. It's like well, uh, Kendall your body language here is like not good
Like people are gonna think that
I just want to be like
Shut the fuck up craig there
Like shut up listen up barty. I don't give a fuck what I look like you know my body language sucks because I don't want to
Fucking talk to these people. That's why there is a level
I think something that is legitimately becoming more and more of a bygone like mentality is like
Just straight up not giving a fuck the way that you're perceived
Like I was having this conversation not long ago and someone was like, uh, you know
You don't realize how you come off and it was like I don't give a fuck
How I come off. I'm gonna tell you something if I say I'm tired. I want to go home
Guess what take it is this I'm fucking tired and I want to go home. Don't take it as like. Oh my god
There's a hidden agenda. Holy shit. Look at his body language. Look at this
Look at the way he's leaning back and holding his arms just everyone here everyone listening
just
Shut the fuck up
And there you have it folks
Well, no, it does aggravate me because people now like
Since when is perception reality?
Like people have like I remember one of our friends was taking a like a fucking marketing class and they were like perceptions reality
I was like, no realities reality
Well, uh, that I don't necessarily agree with I think that
your perception
can be reality
The way you perceive something can influence the way that you like like that you think about it
But the fact of the matter is that there are certain things that you can't
Like anyone can take anything in any context, but there's you just in this in escapably
There's one answer to what it is. You know what I mean? Yeah, but the way that you interpret it can change I guess
But that's what I'm saying. The interpretation is stupid. That's why there's media training thing going back to that
It's fucking stupid if someone asks me a question like oh, what are you excited for this movie? I'm gonna say yeah
I just like here's my thing, right? So like there's media training to everyone if you're a famous person
You're talking to the media. You have to answer questions a certain way so that you're not
Uh, you know, there's not a pr firestorm and like, you know, whatever you're coming off is mean or you're you know, whatever
It's like, okay. The result of that becomes
Basically the interviews like in the NBA like they interview all the players. They all say the same things
Oh, you know, they're a great team and like, you know, we you know kind of had it tonight and and this and that but a lot
It's like
Why even do the interviews if this is if we're gonna train everyone to sound the same and to say the same things and like
Don't say how you truly feel because it could be perceived bad and it's not you have to represent the franchise
It's like what's the point of the interviews?
But but a lot of this not a lot
But some of this stems from the way that the media treated women in terms of the way that their
Responses were to things and so if a woman goes out there and says like i'm angry
They're labeled a bitch if a man goes out there and says they're angry. They're passionate
You know what I mean? So the reason that stuff like that media training
It's kind of frustrating is because it's not attacking the root issue if the root issue is the way that women are portrayed or
Or different character, you know different classifications of people, you know people of color hispanics gay straight, you know, whatever
if
The issue is how they're being
Conveyed by the media and how they're being portrayed by the media
We shouldn't then be like let's adjust to that like no fix the fucking problem instead of adjusting to
to pander to it
No, I agree and that's and that's why i'm saying like
You know like oh if you say this with this sort of emphasis then the media is going to take it and they're going to run with it
And it's like well then go talk to them like bro like fix that like me exactly exactly
Don't fix don't tell me to adjust to fucking play their game
Like have them fucking adjust to be halfway decent human beings
That's why like you get marshawn lynch being like i'm just here so i don't get fined like that's how you
Cheat the system. That's how you fucking do it, babe. Yeah, you're just like yeah, I am not gonna answer any of your questions
I'll tell you this we are gonna need media training because we might be on tv soon
I signed us up for legends of the hidden temple, baby
Oh, yeah
Ladies and gentlemen, so I saw on twitter. They're like, yo, they're casting adults
For a reboot of legends of the hidden temple on cw. No one's gonna watch it, but like they're casting adults
Say that why not? They just lost our shot now
They'll watch it if we're on it so be a silver snake, dude. I want to be a blueberry kudos so hard
I'll settle for that, but if they if they if they think i'm gonna go to universal
What's the worst one on the count of three three two one purple pears
I said paris well paris
They're pretty purple over there paris are they
Are they what purple?
No, okay
They're not I think of the color purple and it like reminds me of places
Okay, um
But you signed us up for i did i did i signed us up
What's involved in it i don't know i i assume it's just like the game you remember the tv show right
No, what did you have to sign like oh like it was like an application. Did you like forge my signature?
No, no, no i i did my own
I did my own signature, but it's like team team team number one obviously first time in my life
I'm over you i'm team number one got team number two. I put your name
They asked for like a bunch of information. I didn't give it to him. Don't worry. No one's gonna have your phone number
But if you want it venmo me
And then it was like other questions like how long have you known each other?
You know, what are your biggest strengths? What was our biggest strength biggest strength? I think I said I was like, uh
Our chemistry
And our insatiable hunger to beat the fucking living breaks off of anyone in any game
I hope you use different language
Not really honestly. No beat the fucking breaks. I didn't say fucking breaks
But I said like our insatiable hunger to be very like to win
And then I think I put in there that like we've never lost in cranium
What does that have to do with this? I don't know apparently it's got something to do with it
Okay, but like we're like 18 to no in cranium. You don't play cranium a lot. That's pretty good. That's pretty good
Yeah, one of them was like, what are your weaknesses? I just wrote lol
Lol, I like that. Okay. Um, that's good. They might think they're like, oh, it's entertaining guys
Well, then they asked for our instagram and twitter handles and I gave them that so if they don't see that anyone at the cw
That's fucking do this. First of all, I'm sorry. I liked arrow and flash for the first couple seasons
I like the the the the frog. I like that. That was the wb
Different guy. Long time ago joey
It wasn't like buffing the vampire slayer on that shit. It was it was Dawson's creek
I can't wait
Kind of hit that a little bit, okay, uh
They asked if we can swim for 200 feet. How far is that? Um, almost a football field
Two-thirds of a football field
That's the whole wait a second. I said, yes, I said yes, and now I'm thinking maybe I can definitely swim that
But when I get to the end of it, it says unassisted
Well, I didn't think there was going to be an assist
I for 200 feet. I hope that they give me some sort of like floatation device
I'm sure they'll have people in the water
They'll have divers to go get you if worse comes to worse if I die on that episode of legends the hidden temple
Can't eat before you know get a cramp out there. You don't want that to happen. No, you don't oh mech will be upset boy
Yeah, no, I think I can make it
dude
Hey, legends of the hotel they put us on tv
Good fucking luck all these people that go on these game shows that are like, all right. Okay. We lost bad question
You know bad answer
I'm going into that with fire dude. I'm gonna pop a blood vessel screaming at you ferocity
Yeah, these people that are like, yo, come on. You could do it the judges
You know, I remember in like the first you need to cross the moat
And like if you like a party or like toe hit the water and they're like go back
I'm unloading on these motherfuckers. Oh my god. I'll lose it. Like, do you know and I
I was cheated out of a out of a field day softball throw in fucking first grade and I'm not gonna let the judges ever do this
Me again. I remember that because you stepped over the line a little bit, right allegedly
Allegedly stepped over the line. Well, they had to give it. They had to give it to the Derek Jeter of our class
No, the stress hacker. Well, he wasn't in that race. Was it? No, I fucking yo, I launched in first grade
We had field day
And whatever Dennis would do I was like, I can't do this anymore because he was just faster than me. I couldn't beat him
So I was like, I'm gonna do the softball throw this year
They took us outside and I fucking and like the fifth graders went like before us
We were in first grade and I fucking launched this bitch like further than the fifth graders and then uh
Antonio from the neighborhood
Was like, oh, I stepped over the line
And then they dequeued a fucking first grader, bro
Did you like later on in life when we would like hang out with him every now and then and like
Did you like let him have it more than three times good
Good let him have it. I'm like, yo, you fucking serious. Yeah, and then they dequeued me in front of the fucking school
You cried
Did you I cried against the handball wall
Oh
To make it even worse the next day. Ms. D. Philippi gave me a card and in the card was a first place
Uh thing and I was like, bitch, you don't know how this fucking works in my house and I threw it out
I thought you weren't gonna say you don't know how happy I am. No, I was like, fuck that you were more mad
Yeah, I was like now I'm taking this fucking bullshit. You go back to the handball court
No, you didn't cry anymore. No, then I won my first place in fifth
Well, we you never know we might need to throw rocks in the or balls in the fucking ledges to the hidden temple
I'll be launched. They have that big-ass temple and those fucking guards come out
I'll beat a guard. Are you fucking up a guard? Yeah, dude. I'm like they better sign waivers, dude
I when I get scared I get a little jumpy. Yeah, I throw kicks and do you yeah, I do
I would I would a hundred percent throw a kick at one of these guards
I almost kicked a dog in the face because of that really do well
I mean it was behind a fence me and Keith were walking
And you just start hearing like
And then a dog dude this dog like ran into the fence with its face like crazy
Keith like leapt
like
Six feet in the air onto a car and I just threw a Johnny Cage shadow kick at the fence
Very very topical at fucking Easter egg, you know pull that you had there crazy
Playing and I didn't kick it but I almost like yo remember what I remember when I almost threw a basketball at a cat
What you don't remember that when we were older when we were walking home from ps2 after like playing basketball
And I had a basketball in my hand and it jumped out in front of us and I fucking
I threw a basketball at it. I was full ready
Remember when I threw a basketball at a cat
I was ready to kill this cat
But I think we have a shot to get on the show. I hope so. I'm down. Where where does it feel?
Whatever, why does it matter what you need a fucking Bora Bora Joe buy the tickets?
No, they're buying that ticket. It's a bad expensive ticket. It's like two and a half grand
Stop. Do you know where Bora Bora is in the water?
Which water?
All of the wall connect. So there's nothing around water. There's nothing around like literally if you look at a globe
It's like
That's kind of sick. Yeah, also scary. Is it?
Yeah, so um
They they also asked for like
Like rank how good you are at these things like these like like it's like history
science
math what you put for science anatomy, um, so for me I put like
Sixes and sevens except for history history. I put low because I suck at history. Got it. Um, and uh
You put a ten in math, didn't you? I put a pretty high number in math
Yeah, you got a pretty high number in anatomy for like human body stuff
Why?
I don't know. You're always telling me to like do things to my body like you're telling me how to like eat and like intake food
You always have some new like yo, I'm doing intermittent fasting
So like you probably know a little bit about your body
That's a big assumption. Also like I don't know if you know what anatomy means now anatomy. It's not
nutrition point to your humerus
Nailed it. All right, maybe you're not maybe you're not that good at it. That's like over
Yeah
Legs I think it's your arm
Well, there you go. Yeah, uh, oh the funny bone. Maybe I think that's why they call it the funny bone because it's humorous
I'll be honest with you. I just farted and it smells like sand
I'm gonna chill back here like wet sand
I want to pull that it just smells like a sand that you found in a in a like a goldfish tank
So I need you to do me a favor call up your agent
Okay, and like be like yo make this happen because I'm trying to win some moonshine
He doesn't work at the w to see the cw. Yeah, what is it?
But I'm sure he knows people at the cw all these fucking people in hollywood know each other your hollywood boy
No, I'm not your joey. You tubes. Okay. Okay. There was one part that asked for our nicknames and I put youtube for yours
No, you didn't yes
What'd you put for you none? Oh, fuck you. I don't have a nickname. I was what would I go to put facts?
I'm gonna make a nickname. Go ahead three two one. I don't know. I'm gonna figure it out. Okay
But you're youtube. I'm just gonna make it mad weird like rick smooth
That's right. You know what though? Okay. That's better than youtube
Way better than youtube it is
Uh
And then they said like why should we pick you and I was like, hey, we host a mat. I said we host a massive podcast
Called the base for the yard and we would fucking massive. I said massive
I was like we'd crush it. We would we're going in there if we get chosen. We're winning
Yeah, we have to this isn't no like fucking like oh like maybe dude if we get eliminated on the first thing
I will
knock the host out
What's his name kurt kurt kurt bogg kurt shilling kurt shilling. You might have trouble with him
Oh, he's got some stuff going on. He's got a lot of mental stuff going on. I don't know what's going on with him
A little crazy. He had a curveball though. Q anon got to him. Was that curveball he had?
Uh, I might have been a 12 sixer. Yeah, he got no, I don't about that
That wakefield had that or wait. No wakefield had a knuckleball knuckleball. No, he was he was still 40 miles an hour
Yeah, this guy how no one would hit wakefield beside me. Yeah, I don't know
I ride you or beyond you
Or can it be is beside me?
Or is it beyond me
Beyond I think it's both
Like how like I don't know it. It's over here. It's beside me, you know
It's it's confusing. So it's over on the left. This is the right. That's beyond me. That's beyond me. That's beside me
I think it's behind me. I think it's both but and behind. Yeah, nothing's ever in front of you. No one ain't
No, what ain't
I don't know
I really think I really hope we get on that fucking show that would be good
I want to fucking win and like I'm not gonna like when did you submit it today?
Like this morning. Oh, yeah
What did the submission start?
I think this morning is when I saw it. Oh, wow fucking dope. So I I was like, all right
I accidentally submitted one with just my name before like I
I accidentally pressed it and then I redid it with all of our information
And I'm ready to go. Nice. I think we can win and I'm not going in. You know what they're fucking like
Prizes for like the people that didn't make it across the moat those losers
It's like fucking like hair gel and like candy necklaces. I want the big old I want space camp and I want moon shoes
Yeah, yeah, yo, hold up. I'd like a candy necklace
Oh
Maybe it's like or like candy panties. Maybe it's they make panties for candy. Oh, yeah
They're made of like there was an episode of a curve about that remember when he's sitting on with the the the jewish girl
Yeah
Yeah, no, I have to jewish. Yeah, but not jewish
Yeah, yeah, that that's
Antisemitic can't say that is it I feel like all you're acting like jewish if I say if I use it in that
You know manner is if you do this if you
You can't early you can't you know and like the scoff is with it like it's weird
And you know when you saying like us guy, he's a jew
But he's a jew
But if a part of you feels kind of like it sounds like because of the media it made it a dirty word
Well, if you say like jew, then then you're like y'all chill
Yeah, the vigor that comes with it can affect the way that it is perceived strong right there perception is reality
There you go full circle
Bring it in full circle, baby. That's how you finish an episode. Damn this guy is
Get us on legends of the hidden temple. I'm gonna try it. Yo if we can be on that show. Oh my god. I'm letting you know right now
I like feel good about it for some reason
Do you yeah good they ask for a twitter like our like our social media handles and if they look you up
They're like we need to get this guy on if they see me they'll be like, okay, whatever
We also had we also had to send in pictures and I sent him one of you
You want to see the one I picked? No, I don't it's a good picture. I don't want it's a good picture
You're gonna ruin it by doing this, aren't you? No, it's a good picture. I sent this one in
That's not a bad picture. It's a good picture. I almost sent one of me when I was skinny, but I didn't
I sent a more recent one just so uh
They know what they're getting. Yeah, because if they see skinny me and then they see fat me
I mean, yo, you're gonna catfish the cw. Whatever. You don't want to do that. I mean, it's too late
I mean, but then they'll get a little upset. They'll be like, well, I thought he was skinny and then they'll be like, they're out
They're out
I'm getting this piece of shit. Yeah, this is not what I signed up for they asked for a hashtag for us
And we're we'll end like this the hashtag guys hit up the cw
I don't think they have anything to do with it. I think it's like the shows producers probably hit up
I don't I do they have to use the hashtag the basement boys
The basement boys. That's it. We're gonna get on ladies of the hidden temple. Fuck. Yeah
And if we don't I'll never fucking watch that show. Yeah, I'll I'll lose my mind or I'm gonna watch it and just
Be so mad and be like I could have won this thing. Yeah
We we we that's what I used to do back in the day on nick gas
Nick gas. Yeah, damn
Bring him back a bunch of memories. We got it. Hell yeah. All right. Anyway, we're gonna find you frank
F albers 8085 on twitter and on twitch the frank alvarez on instagram. Go check me out on
The movie trivia schmo down good friends of us. I compete in a movie trivia league
I'm a member of the usual suspects and I want to know I'm undefeated bang
So I'm basically retiring now while I'm on top. There you go
Uh, you guys can go follow me at joe sanagao. Go follow the show on tiktok and instagram at the baseman yard and the patron
patreon
Patreon.com slash the baseman yard sign up 300 more patrons
We're gonna do a power hour. It's gonna get messy
And that is all see you guys next time power me
What the hell was that I heard power hour and I thought it power me
I gotta be honest. I'm tired. Yeah, well, jesus