The Basement Yard - #296 - The Worst Life Hack Of All Time

Episode Date: May 31, 2021

Frank & Joe discuss "life hacks" aka creative ways to make easy things harder than they have to be. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BLOW! Welcome back to the Basement Yard! You fucking bastard! What? I'm- I'm upset with you. And I told you I wanted to start with- welcome back to the Basement Yard. Thanks for being here, but also welcome back keeping it frank. Because I'm fucking hot right now. Okay.

Like, not physically. I'm actually quite comfortable. But hot in terms of- You think you're hot like as a- like a look- like you look hot? I think I actually do look hot. On a 1 to 10, where would you put yourself? Right now? Yeah. Not a lot of- like my- I haven't like shaved-

Um, my hair isn't like, you know, like styled. I would say I'm- I'm at like a 6.8 right now. Okay. I think I'm at 6.8, but I'm- don't try to change the subject, you son of a bitch. I- I was just asking the question. I think I'm pretty good- what do you think you are? Uh, new haircut Joe, this is what he did. No, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

What do you think you are right now, honestly? And don't be humble. Outside or inside? Is there a difference? Uh, when the sunlight hits me, I'm a different beast. Oh, I thought you meant like outside, like your external body versus your in- in- or organs. I'm gonna say, what's the difference? Outdoors or indoors, I meant.

Uh, indoors. Like on the couch or walking around? Why do I- what are we doing here? Why do I fucking branch it down? It matters. I don't think it does. I look better standing up. So, you know you do.

Yeah. You do. Uh, that- that couch you got is very deep, so it doesn't do any wonders for angles. Uh, alright, walking- walking inside. A walking indoor, I would say a 7.1 walking indoor. How you- Outdoor though, it goes up. To what?

Something, I mean you get these freckles going, you get the light hitting me in these pretty eyes. You know what, he's not wrong. You do have some- you have some like- you basically have silver eyes. Uh, I mean they're hazel, but like the light hits them and like, you know- And then they turn metal? They look a little silver. Okay. Um, uh-

What were you gonna say? Oh yeah, keep it to Frank. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. What are you yelling at me for? I was fucking chewing gum. Welcome back, uh, keep it to Frank. If I was chewing gum on a podcast episode, which you have told me before, like, yo, you can't do this, but you're gonna-

You'd fucking roast me. No, you s- no, because you slap your gum. You chew the shit out of it. Oh, you're not slapping it? That's exactly what you're doing, you bastard. I'm doing a fric- comedic flavor. You're not doing a flavor. Yeah!

This is fucking salt and pepper. Look, what you're doing right now. Give me a sentence. Um- To say, just a random sentence. Clanging and banging with my friends down in Chicago. Give me a different sentence. Oh, okay.

I thought that was a good one. I thought that was a good one, is that not? Don't ask for a sentence and then just fucking judge the sentence I give you. Clanging and banging with my friends down in Chicago? Yes. Okay. Clanging and banging with my friends down in Chicago. Now, with gum- chew and flavor.

Yeah. Comedy. Go ahead. Go ahead. The flavor of comedy. The- the- yeah, the- I don't know what I'm saying. The spice of it.

Clanging and- You can't even say it! Clanging and banging with my friends down in Chicago. Fucking like- You also- I feel like I'm working on a house when I say it like that. Yeah, you are. You're chewing on a pencil as you're doing this.

Well, why are you smoking it? I don't know what I'm doing anymore. You just walked in and you're about to order asparagus at a steakhouse. That's what- What? Yeah. Asparagus. Not to the side.

You don't order that. It just comes. You don't go to a steakhouse and go, let me get the asparagus. It just comes. You just speak for yourself. You ever had bacon wrapped asparagus? No.

But back- keeping it frank. Don't you dare fucking do that ever again. If I- I'm gonna chew gum on this podcast so loud next time. I'm gonna fucking- What's that? Chew gum. Nyan-gum? Nyan-gum.

That's why you can't because you're talking shit. Gimme- what do you think- can you spell out? Spell out really quick what it would sound like to chew gum. Like loudly. This is the plug- free plug by the way for the Patreon episode. Patreon.com slash the base of New York. We did writing out sounds. It's incredible.

Let me do the sound first. Okay. Right before you did it, you went- Alright, let's see. Mon-chum? Mon-chum? Let me try, let me try. Oh, just so everyone knows.

If you watch the Patreon episode, you'll get what we're doing. We did this like a bunch where it's like you have to write out a sound and then like you have to guess what the sound is. And Frank- Franky just threw the fucking thing. But Franky's got awful at this. Whoa, whoa! Spoiler.

His jerking off sound, it was munching-ching-ching. Shum-ching-ching-ching. Shum-ching-ching-ching. Like I was supposed to fucking guess that. Listen, I have a- Weird way of jerking off. Apparently you're wearing a bunch of bracelets. I have munching-ching-ching.

I have a myriad of talents and strengths. I will concede that this might not be one of them. I will say like the sash-ash-ash. That was a really good one. We won't let you guys- We won't spoil it for you, go check it out at Patreon.com. Alright, chew for me for a sec? No, mouth open, you bastard.

Okay, okay, that's all you get. Let's see what he's writing. Okay, this is good. Shung-jung? Why does everything you say sound like- That was like- Shung-jung. Shung-jung.

You can't- You're so- Like you can't even interpret sound. Like what are you hearing? Maybe you just hear the world differently than I do. Maybe we just hear different shit. You know what I mean? Shung-jung.

Like if I call you- Shung-jung. Shung-jung. Like if a car presses its horn, I hear something. What do you hear? That's actually pretty good. That was really good.

I would say I would hear- That's a big truck. That is a big one. I'm talking about a regular compact car. Okay. Yeah, but- Shung-ho. Chew, chew.

Shung-jung. That's not- It's not happening. It is. It's just not. It's just a plug for the Patreon. Patreon.com. Also, I feel like I need to take that from you

because you're a child. I like writing things. I know that. And it's fun. How are you doing? I'm doing well. So I have a video pulled up that you wanted me to watch. I haven't watched it yet.

Okay. But we're jumping right into it, Bib. Yeah, where did you- But did you call me Bib? Bib. Bib? Babe. Oh, babe.

You said it lightning fast. Bib. What's wrong with that? Bib. I got that from the guy that does my oil change. What? He calls me babe. You mean you're a mechanic?

Yeah. What the fuck? Yeah. I'll call it. I got it from the guy who does my surgeries. Yeah, the doctor. I'll call. I'll be like, hey, I need an oil change.

Oh, no problem, babe. Come on over. He babes you. He babes me. And I feel, honestly, people used to make fun of me for babing. Now everyone's babing. Well, I would feel like when a mechanic- I feel I'm masculated when I talk to mechanics because I-

Yeah, because you're a piece of shit compared to them. Oh, oh, I thought you were going to say like me personally, but you're wearing the same boat here. We can't fix a car. Well, I can't- No, I cannot fix a car. I have no idea what's going on. No, yeah.

I don't even know where the oil is. Tell me apart. It could be made up and I'll tell you where it is and it's wrong. Yeah. I assume everything's in there. In the front. Right. That's where everything is.

Gotta be. Under the hood. Under the hood. I have to like pretend that I know what I'm talking about. Mm-hmm. Because if you don't know about cars, you're a little bitch. Apparently, as a man, you'll be masculated. Oh, yeah.

You're a little- So I talked to this man and I'm just like, dude, I can't do this right now. Everyone used to make fun of me for Hawaiian shirts and then they started wearing Hawaiian shirts. Everyone was making fun of me for Babe, for calling my friends and my loved ones Babe, and now everyone's fucking doing it. I don't think everyone's doing it. I think it is.

I don't think- I definitely think so. I think it's you. Well, that's where it starts. Trendsetter from my hat to my sweater. Okay, that's enough. But anyway, I'll get this. Oh, yeah.

Do you- When I- So do you want to preface this video? So first of all, welcome back in a basement yard. You keep saying that. I just want- I feel like we just started. And I know we did, but like I feel like we haven't given a proper intro.

Okay. I told Joey there's a video that has been- It's gone viral. And it is- Yo, I can't talk. What the fuck is happening? Okay, a video got viral. Video got viral.

You guys have probably seen it. It's this woman who is like, yo, I am making like a part- It's pasta night. Pasta night. I'm having the boys over or the girls, whoever you're having over. And it's one of those videos that are a kitchen hack, quote unquote. It's like pasta hack or life hack or some shit. And I need you to see it because I wanted to-

I'm going to preface this with most of the life hacks that I see, especially when it comes to cooking, are like super unnecessary. Most of- It's like, here's a crazy way to cut a watermelon. I'm like, just cut this shit in half without my shedding. We'll get to other life hacks that have fucking pissed me off. But let's break this down. So first of all, from the opening shot, big no-no.

Yeah, we're using prego. We're using prego sauce. And- Which it looks like- Like, it looks like what your body makes after you eat anything. That looks like if I had diarrhea after I ate 400 beats. If you've ever seen Jurassic Park- Yeah.

The scene where the mud is falling on the barbersaw can, that's what prego looks like. Yeah, actually, that was a very- I love that scene for some reason. You're welcome. Dennis Nedry. All right, let's get going on this. Joey's never seen this.

First of all- Wait, is she pouring that on her counter? That's a counter. That's a countertop. Also, can we- I think someone came back there. I want to turn the volume up. Yeah, I want to hear it.

I think someone came. Oh, my gosh. Came. Holy cow. Holy cow. It's right on the countertop. Yep, all my friends are coming over. All of her friends.

She clearly never wants to see them ever again. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's wearing a shirt that says plant lady. Oh, is she? Yeah. I didn't even see that. Back it up.

Uh-oh. Look, you were having a good time. You were pouring your sauce, but then bang! Plant lady. I can't make fun of that too much. Becca does have a mug that says crazy plant lady. Oh, throw it out.

Throw it out. And also, just to be not sexist, the dudes who have plant dad- No, the guys- I saw one that was like- it was a mug and it was like- I don't have a dad pod. It's called a father figure.

And I wanted to fucking smash this porcelain mug. Yeah. Two bits. Okay. To make spaghetti for a crowd. Spaghetti for a crowd. It's fun. It's all just right in front of you.

You don't have to worry about dishes or a mess or anything like that. It's on your countertop. Hold on. What? This is the definition of it. You're pouring it in the countertop, lady. What do you mean you don't have to worry about a mess?

You are creating the ultimate mess. The ultimate mess. There is no- This is a pigsty of sauce. There's no way that anything in this place is not going to be covered with fucking red sauce. Also, we're only 26 seconds into this two minute video. What is the end game?

Is the end game to eat pasta off of the island of your kitchen? Just do what you are done, babe. Like savages? You are not done. Keep watching. This is how it works. But it's all over your counter. This is how it works.

Then the next- No, it's not. Do you hear the girl? She goes, but it's all over your counter. It's all over your counter. Then the next- She just ignores that. No, it's not.

Meet the ball. Let's meet the ball. Is it? Okay. Oh my gosh. All my- Straight in line. God.

What is wrong with this fucking asshole? That's a lot of meatballs. And you do this before. Oh, yeah. We do this all the time. This is like- Oh, pause it. Oh, you've done this before.

Oh, yeah. We do it all the time. Why? You got plates? You got plates, Becca? Becky? Careful. Careful.

Yeah. That was a mistake. Jesus. Probably. Yeah. But I know you guys have plates. We do. We have-

I'm telling you this right now. All right. If I walked into your house and you're like, yo, we're going to do something cool, and you started pouring prego sauce, I'd be like, Frankie, I'd pull you to the side, into a closet, get really close to you. And I go, end this now. End it. Take the sauce off the counter.

End this. End this. I don't know if it would be enough to like- If Becca did this or had this idea, I wouldn't be able to live with her anymore. Like, share a life with a woman that does this? This is how a four-year-old makes food. Yo, legit? I swear to God.

When I first saw it, I was like, yo, this has got to be like a three-year-old doing this. Yeah. Like, this is something Miles would do. Miles would be like, oh, it's just cute. This is something you laugh at a four-year-old for doing. Yeah. A fucking grown-ass plant lady. You don't-

This isn't cute. Yeah, this isn't- She's like, I'm making it for my friends. It's very clear. This is an act of war. Also, who are your friends? After this video? No one.

No friend. Not a single person. Here we go. Folks, this is so cool to feed a ton of people. So I would absolutely not- Yep. I would never use- She's pouring that like an asshole.

I just- I just want to say that. Also, how's she making this? Like an omelet? She's gonna- Oh my God. She wants to make sure that you're getting enough in there. Right.

You're getting enough. Okay. That's a lot of fucking cheese. So big. Wow. And then you take your noodles. Oh my gosh. First of all-

First of all. Yep. Be a little hot to be careful. Sure. I love how she's doing this, like trying to be like, guys, everyone do this with me. This is gonna catch on. And this is not-

I don't think this is gonna be enough noodles. If she mixes this with her hands, I'm gonna punch my laptop. Me too, if you have enough. Right. Because you don't want your guests to go hungry. I would never want my guests to go hungry. Okay. Never.

I mean, you want them to hate your fucking guts, apparently, but not go hungry. Wow. I hope this is a joke. It's like stealing. This woman clearly has like cheese- That's so cool. And now-

This woman clearly just like goes to sleep after like four bottles of wine every night. Because she was just like- She felt no pain taking that hot ass pasta out of that fucking pot. And you do it so much. Apparently. Apparently. What do we do? Well, you gotta mix it up, girl.

Okay, let's mix it up. So, take- You just fold it in. Yep, just fold it in. Just like that. Fold it in. You're not folding anything. How delicious is this?

It looks so good. And then at the end you kind of want to- Let me make something very clear. That looks like a human was squashed by a rock all over your counter. It doesn't look delicious. They hung up- You know how like those things, those hangers for like pots and pans? Yeah.

They hung someone from their back on that and just fucking sliced them open. Cut them open. And everything fell onto the fucking island. A nice looking island, by the way. That's some nice looking marble. Yeah. This is amazing. Where did you see this?

That was it? Did that was it? Yeah. No. Oh. Wait, do you hear that? Take. It's something.

The recorder has that there. I don't know why. It's just playing music. It's playing music. Hold on. Pause this. I want to hear the music. It's very low.

It's very low. I don't know if people can hear it. Is it pulling up a frequency or something? Yeah. Yeah. That's what's happening. What the fuck guys? It's like just like playing music.

So yeah. I mean for me, I really hope that this is a joke because- No. No. I think I saw something like the New York Times. This is legit playing music. Yeah. You're good.

You're good. You're good. Okay. All right. They did like an interview with the person that did this and they were like, we wanted to make cooking fun. Nothing about this screen is fun. You don't need to do this lady.

If anything, this is significantly less fun. Yeah. Eating and just having a quick cleanup. That's a lot of fun to me. Paper plate? Big party? Paper plates? Boom.

Throw them out. Yeah. Done. This? Psychotic. You need to like fucking- I'm supposed to eat fucking pasta off of your kitchen counter? What?

Sandwiches? Yeah. What are we doing? Joey, do you want to come over Friday night? What do you- what do you do? Do you want to come over Friday night? We're going to do pasta. You want to come over?

It's going to be all over the floor. I hope you like eating in the fucking living room off of the carpet because that's where we like to make our- that's what's fun. You know what's fun? Spilling sauce all over my house. Forget about the fact that she was using Prego, which you guys know how I feel about Prego. Very upset with Prego.

Well, we don't. That's not like well documented. It's well documented? I don't know if it's well documented. If you're fucking having Prego, you might as well just fucking- just a whole bag of sugar in your mouth. Prego is the like pedigree. You know how like the dog food pedigree?

Oh, I thought you were saying like a wrestling move. I was going to say like how- what are you- what connection are you making here? Like Prego is a pedigree? It's like a McDonald's sauce. Basically. That's what it is. Yeah. Like I would- what would you rather have?

The McRib or the Prego? Oh dude, probably the Prego. Yeah, it's actually- Do the McRib? You don't know what it is. Like what can that be? I know it isn't what it's- It's what can't it be and it's the answer's food.

Yeah. I want to know how old the boy who they took that rib from is. Yeah. There's no way that's actual like- I think they just shaved like- like they took- you know how like you go to like a dermatologist and they take a chunk of like a beauty mark? Like a biopsy? I think- yeah.

I think they just took biopsies from a bunch of like little boys and just threw them into a fucking grinder and made the McRib. Oh my god, it's so disgusting. These kitchen hacks get me so angry because they are not- like some of them are like legit. But like they're not fucking helping anyone. Like I saw one, it was like, oh, fucking take aluminum foil, crumble it up into a ball, and rub it on a carrot. And I'm like, what the fuck is that dude?

Isn't that dangerous? I would assume so. If you eat aluminum foil, it can't be good for you. My mom used to tell me something about aluminum foil and like not to chew it. Yeah, I used to chew it when I was younger. Well, I didn't. I did. I was just about to insult you.

Oh. Because I was just about to say like, I'm not a fucking idiot. Why would I chew this? I was a fucking idiot. Why did you chew it? I- honestly, I like chewing ice. Like I chew ice. So, just- so-

It's not ice. I know it's not. But it's like a weird like- it just felt good. It was like foil. Yeah, it felt good. I also would do the foil on my teeth. Like I had grills. Oh, we all did that.

Duh. Yeah. But it wasn't like that bad. I mean, I'm sure it's bad for you. Yeah. But it wasn't like- at the time I remember enjoying it quite a bit. So their life hack is to, hey, instead of getting a peeler, just get aluminum foil. Yeah, it was like no waste carrot peel peeling.

And it's like, hey, I don't- I don't- is there like an outcry for like, we peel too much of the carrot? Wait. No waste? What are we talking about? It like only takes off like the outside layer. And what is that supposed to do? You get more carrot to eat. That's not how matter works.

If you have un-carrot, any way you shave it, it's what you have. Oh no, when you shave it, you lose like a sliver. You know, it's not like a completely paper thin layer that you're taking off. There's a little bit of a sliver that you're taking off. But you could eat it, but we choose not. Well, yeah, just wash your fucking carrots. You could still eat whatever's on there. Yeah, I mean, eat it like fucking bugs money.

I do like to do that. Do you? Yeah. Like the big green tail. I don't- those are organic and they're expensive. And you don't pay me. Expensive for carrots? Yeah, dude.

You can get like a bag of carrots for like $2.99, the organic ones for like a bundle of like six. It's like $8. Six carrots? It's not cheap, man. It's not cheap. These fucking farming pieces of shit. I want to- I want to have carrots like that because I think it would be cool.

Yeah, I think it's like really cool. Yeah, yeah. You know, but my wallet doesn't allow me. That's so weird. It's fucking- it is very dumb. But these kitchen hacks like- and these like life hacks things that people do where they're like, oh, instead of getting a socket wrench, take a piece- take a bolt and put another fucking nut on it and then turn the thing around.

I was like, dude, why? Why are we trying to overcomplicate things? Just get the proper tools though. Just do it. This is why we invented the things. Yeah. Literally, we're going backwards in time. Life hack, instead of using electricity, light a candle.

Yeah. It's like, thanks. Yeah. But I don't want to be Paul Revere, so I'm just going to turn the light on. Yeah. Or just get another light bulb. Can we? Joey- if Joey had a broken light bulb, he would buy a whole new house.

That's what he would do. He'd be like, oh shit, the light bulb's out. New room. Just a whole fucking- just renovate the whole room. No, what I would do- I wouldn't do that, but what I would do is if there was four and one of them was like whatever, then I'd be like, well, I wouldn't- I would try to replace it, but if I couldn't, then I would just buy four new ones. Like, I can't have one light that's like a different shade.

Oh, well yeah. No, I would say like, if you had like four lights and one of them went out, you would wait until they all went out and then buy a lamp. So that's what you would do, you fucking psychopath. I actually- so I got new spoons. It's hot. Sorry, it's hot in here. Yeah?

I just had to let the baby breathe. Do you want to take your shirt off? I- I act- to be honest, yes, but I will not. Okay. I'm not opening that door of criticism. The door was open, wasn't it? It's gotten worse since the last time people saw me shirtless. Well, that's okay.

No, that's what happens, you know, when you have a child. You're not wrong. How is the baby? Has it shit on you yet? She- well- I don't know why I said it. Yeah. Has it shit on you?

Dude, I walked- I was in Costco the other day and the Costco was like right next to like a heavy like Hasidic Jewish neighborhood. And this woman, like, she was being kind. She was- she was a practicing Jewish woman. I almost said Jew. You can. I know, but- She's a Jew.

It just feels wrong. And like, she was being nice and asked me like how old my daughter was. But she didn't say it like that and it came off like offensive. I'm standing in line at Costco and she goes, how old is that baby? I'm like, oh, three and a half months. She's like, nice. That was it? That was it.

I didn't say like it's cute. She was like, when can I recruit this? Yeah. She wanted to fucking full on just be like, yo, come hang with us. Yeah. Where are we? Yeah. Wait, is that what?

Apparently that's what women in the community do. I watched that unorthodox movie and it's real. Wait. I went to call time out. Why did they do that? I went to call time out and they did the side of the cross. Joey meant to do the T for time out and ended up just doing the side of the cross. I don't know if they were talking about religion.

Shit is hot. Fucking brain wash. It is hot in here. But yeah, no. But T, Jewish women, they shave heads. Apparently the rumor is from that movie Unorthodox, which was on Netflix, which if it's on there, it's real. Right.

The women shave their head and wear a wig. Tight. And they don't like, they only have sex. Through sheets. Through sheets. Apparently. Yeah. I don't kill the messenger here.

Yeah. Yeah. And they like when the, when the girl is ob, not ovulating, but menstruating, they have to sleep in a whole separate bed. Oh, because blood. Is that? That, that one I, I don't know for sure, but I definitely said it. Yeah.

Well, that's out there now. Yeah. It's a theory. It's a theory. That's what it is. We were making it up just like the guy that convinced everyone that that girl walked around with beans in her pocket, that model. What?

You never heard about that? There was some like, how did you just pull that out of thin air? There was a model with beans in her pocket. There was someone on the internet that just started a rumor and everyone believed it. And it was this like super model or not super model, but this like famous like Victoria Secret model or some shit keeps just like beans, like baked beans in her bag all the time. Not like in a can, not in a bag. Loose beans.

Loose beans. That are like cooked. Well. So smushed beans? Beans. Not like hard beans. No. Just like open up a bushes baked beans, dump it into your pocket or apparently.

Okay. I typed in super model beans and nothing came up. So type in beans in pocket. No, Frankie. There's something. No, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Donatella spills the beans on Versace.

No, no, no. There's a guy that made up a rumor about beans in bag or some shit. Rumor beans in bag. Okay. Growing beans in a bag. I saw this. Maybe we had a fever dream. I'm telling you.

I saw this somewhere. That she just had beans? No, no, no. Was it debunked? Debunked? I'm pretty sure it was debunked because no one would carry fucking beans. Yeah. But the guy like he made afterward, he was like, yeah, I made that up, but it's hysterical because people believed it.

That's actually dope. It's really funny. I also wanted to circle back real quick since we were talking about the the Hasidic Jewish community. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed maybe this is Justin Brooklyn, but I've driven through the Hasidic neighborhoods. Yes. And they like walk in twos for the most part.

I mean, I don't know, but for the most part they're like with someone else. And a lot of them are always on the phone. And like I was driving around and I was like, why are people on their phone? Like it's just like not like a phone. Like phone. Yeah. Yeah. Like phoning.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? What is this? Talking on the phone. Phoning. Yeah. Phoning your friend. Phoning home.

That's exactly what they're doing. And I'm driving around and I'm like, there's a lot of people on their phones. And then I'm like, yeah. Yeah. I have seen quite a bit. It makes you think like in my because like I said, we live next to an area that is a pretty, you know, large community. And I've seen a lot of members of the, the Jewish community driving with the fucking

phone out. I thought that was like extinct. I didn't know people still did that. Talked on the phone while driving. Like just like, yo, yo. Oh, you just speak a phone that shit. No, no, no. Just yeah.

That's what I'm saying. We're like, no, no, no, yo, yo. Yeah. Just like just driving. No, no, no, yo, yo. Yeah. But the way she asked me how old my daughter was, it was, it was very like, how old is that baby?

Yeah. How old does that end? Like in a very, she said it like a principle. Yeah. She said exactly. She said it like Miss Pogerman. No. Well, Mishnetser.

Yes. But Mishnetser was. She was German. She was German. Too close. Yikes. Yeah. But she said it and she was like, she said it.

She goes, how old, how old is that baby? Just, you know, very, very, you know, you know, I don't know what you're doing. Like give me something else to say. How's your day? How's your day? Yeah. I don't like that. How old, how old is that baby?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Nice. She wasn't with any friends. I don't. She was a soul. She was with her kids.

How many? I know there was one. Sometimes they have a lot of babies. There was one boy. How does that help me? That's all I can remember. I don't know if she had more babies with her. I told me there was multiple kids and now you have no idea.

All I remember is one boy. All right. There was more kids, but I don't remember if they were boys or girls. I'm trying to be accurate. Forget about the boys and girls. How many children? Three, maybe. All right.

That's what I was asking. Well, don't ask for fucking specifics. No, what extra specifics? I'm upset you can't find the beans story. I forget. I know back in your mind, you're like, yo, what's going on? I'm not kidding. I'm like, yo, how, how did this not come up?

Where did you see it? I got to find this now. Some guy like made a thing and it was like starting a rumor about beans. All right. You look that up and I'm going to get to these advertisements right here and then we'll circle back on the beans in the pockets or whatever the fuck is going on. The first one we have here is Headspace. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy-to-use

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Beans? I found it. I found it. I'm sending the article to you. I'm air dropping it to you. My computer? Can I do that? Can I do that?

I don't know if you can air drop a link. I think you can. You're going to air drop a link to me? Bingo. Let me see. Or is this a... Done. Okay.

All right. Let me... Let me... Oh my God. Okay. Okay. First of all, I just want to say this. I'm going to...

Hold on. I need to start a new screen recording here. So here's the thing, Frankie. Let me... I'll get to it. Hold on one second. Okay. All right.

We're starting the recording. So that everyone sees, I convinced the internet that Dixie D'Amelio keeps baked beans in her pocket. Right? No, no, no. Real quick. No, no, no. Just want to say...

No. Supermodel. I don't know who she is. I saw... Hold on. Hold on. You don't know who Dixie D'Amelio is. But I saw like the headline...

But do you know who Dixie D'Amelio is? I have no clue who it is. Do you know who Charlie D'Amelio is? Becca got her coffee. What? Becca got her coffee. She had coffee. Oh, Dunkin' Donuts.

Dunkin'. But you don't know who she is. No clue. So if I told you right now, she's a famous, like, trapeze artist, you'd have to believe me. Basically. Okay. Well, then she's a pirate.

I mean, this is her first mate. I read a little bit of the article, so I know that they're not. I assume there's some sort of social media person. They're TikTok, like, megastars. Okay. Oh, all right. Well, I incorrectly set a model. So show me...

Like, I'm sorry. Fucking take it easy. Okay. So anyway. Uh... Beans. Is that a wallet? Yeah.

Okay. How did he do this? The article is great. Oh, well, first of all, the way this is written. Yesterday morning, I went to take a shit while my coffee was... I mean, what do you expect? You want hard-cutting fucking journalism from Total Fratmove.com? That's true.

We're on Total Fratmove. Lana Rhodes can shoot ping-pong balls out of her asshole. Is that true? I feel like... I don't know who that is either. Lana Rhodes? No clue. What are you?

90 years old? How do you know who these people are? I don't know. Literally, I don't... This is Sean Paul's, and then you know Sean Paul. I know Sean Paul. Yeah, I know. Trust me.

I know Sean Paul. Okay. So how did... What the fuck? So the guy saying he made a fake... He was pissed because this person had like 24 million followers. So he made a Facebook account of a middle-aged woman who's saying to have been that girl's teacher.

Yeah. And saying that she had like some anxiety disorder. So in order to quell that, she had like a bag full of beans on her at all points in time. And everyone believed it. Yeah. Look, go up, go up, go up, go up, go up, go up, look, look, have you ever had a student that lose the ranks of being famous, blah, blah, blah, blah, go down more?

Yeah. Fuck, where... A great way to overcome anxiety is by keeping a small Ziploc bag of your favorite snack on your person and running your fingers over the texture of the bag before you're set to take stage. When I asked Dixie what her favorite snack was, she let out a laugh and said baked beans. Unconventional, sure. But I conveyed to her that we could work with that.

The next day I made my way to the teacher's lounge before auditions with a small plastic bag with baked beans and handed it off to Dixie. With a crutch for her anxiety and her God-given ability, she landed the lead role. And this landed. This is fucking incredible. And this is... The rest of the... Wait, go up, go up, go up, go up.

The rest of the year on test day, I would have a tiny bag of baked beans ready to go whenever I saw Dixie showing signs of general anxiety. Can you imagine this is real? Yo, we need to... I see Dixie fidget with her right pocket. I know that despite leaving her small town for Hollywood, she's still my little bean girl. Oh my God.

The Loki races? Come on. Why is that racist? I mean, she's not Spanish, but if she was... I'm gonna say, oh, it would be a Spanish thing? Yeah. So yeah, so this guy like posted this stuff online and people believe that this girl... That's so fucking funny, dude.

And so that she got it out last night and it began to explode. Happy Mother's Day, mom. Go up. Yeah. You're my biggest inspiration. Thank you for bringing someone's joy into my life. I think people just start commenting like, bean girl. So much that Dixie was disabling comments on her Instagram and deleting TikTok.

People comments, bean girl. Let me make something very clear. I don't think it's cool to bully people. I mean, if you're gonna bully someone, definitely bully them in this way. This is fucking hysterical. This is a creative way of doing it. Also like, if I'm her, I would never be like offended by this. Show me this girl so I can see like, you need to look at them and be like, yeah, they would

carry baked beans with them. She's like 19. I guess. I don't know. I mean, she doesn't look like she would care. I mean, is she beanie? Is she beans? Is she beans from fucking even Steven?

You're also asking me what she looks like to see if she would carry beans. What does a person who looks like, who carries beans look like? Type in old Irish man. No. Yeah. Basically. Fat old Irish man. That's, look, that's who carries beans.

This guy crushes beans, dude. This guy carries beans 100%. Oh, wait, I think over under 5% of what he says. This guy loves beans, but he also loves garlic. Wrong movie, Joey. What? You're talking, I think you're, this is from the Irish man. You're talking the guy from fucking, no, I think that, no, I'm not talking about good

fellas. I thought you were talking about good fellas. No, I'm saying this guy. This guy doesn't love garlic. Everyone loves garlic and hates. I don't know what's going on. I was going to say, he loves garlic, but hates people that are of color. I mean, you're a person of, but is that fucking hysterical?

Yeah. That's kind of out of control. I feel like we need to start a rumor, but like covertly. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I was going to say, I hope you fucking- No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. No, we're good.

Why? I think there was something you said on there. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So who, who could we start a rumor about? Yo, I'm sweating. Look at me.

I'm very, it's very hot in here. It's hot as fuck. I'm not joking around. I'm not going to start a rumor about someone. I don't know if I could be that creative. Bake beans in the wallet though. It's fucking hilarious. Bake beans in the pocket.

That's fucking great. That's really great. Always carry a little baked bean. Imagine, imagine. You know, there's probably some weirdos in fucking Hollywood that actually have some weird shit like that, but like imagine you're like going on stage and she's like, yo, I need, where's my beans? Where are my bushes?

My bush beans. I see my bush baked beans. Where's Uncle Ben? Homestyle. Wait. Hulkam Ben's out, right? Who? Uncle Ben?

You said Hulkam Ben. I did. I was going to say, who the fuck is that? Hulkam Ben's original or some shit like that. What about Aunt Jemima? They changed to something. It's, it's like country style or some shit. What?

I don't know. I mean that. By the way, anything country style is probably really good. It is very like or or fried like fucked up or like from Nashville. Not the people. But like Nashville, like Hot Wings and shit. Tennessee barbecue. Oh man.

Let me start talking about like racist sounding condiments. I'm in. Yeah. I am in for that. Isn't there one that's like lip sucking, finger sucking, barbecue sauce? Yes. It's like fat finger fucking sauce. Yeah.

And I'm like, yeah, fuck yeah. Listen, you can't make that sauce and also still call people of color the coloreds. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you can't make those jokes. It's crazy. But I, I, I feel like that's the rule. The more racist a condiment sounds, the more delicious.

Yeah. The probably the better it is. Just like if you just had like a, you know, like what do you, what are you putting on your hot dog? Oh, I'm putting a good old Hitler relish. Yeah. And you're like, damn, that's probably mad spicy. He's not racist.

He was anti-Semitic, but like the parallels, you know, they're, you know, the same family parallel. I don't want to talk about food because you woke up today and chose to not eat all day. Well I ate this morning, but I'm attempting a 20th. The back of my knee is a pool. Yeah. It's wet. Touch my hand after you touch it.

Are you serious? Oh, okay. Never mind. No, I thought you'd be just, just disgusted by that. I mean, I am grossed out by it. Do you really want this? Touch my arm. I could wash that better.

That wasn't as wet as I thought. I was expecting like real moisture. You want to feel moisture? No, I don't want to dig into your ass. You're not digging. I'll do the digging. I'll do the wiping. Why do you think I would let you do that?

What's wrong with you? Why do you think that was an option that I was like, you know what, yeah, in the, for the sake of the comedic, I'm saying like you would be, you really are sweating. I can see the shine on your face. I'm dying in here. You would be astonished at the amount of moisture. If I stand up right now, I would say over 40% chance that there's a moisture like streak. On the chair?

On the chair. What kind of pants are you wearing? Jeans. If it goes through jeans, I will not believe that. No, nothing. Okay. But it's, it's wet. Yeah.

It's wet right now. Not my cock. Just asshole. My balls. Your balls are right near your dick though. Underneath. They catch the moisture. The dick just kind of just like lives a, lives a free life.

My ball just sucked into my body when I did that. Don't that's very scary. No, I know. Hold on. You ever have that happen? Oh, I got it out. Okay. Oh, now I'm just now that's, that's wet.

That is. Well, it went into your body and back out. Well, no, I'm talking about like just my sack. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. My ball's been getting sucked up recently for some reason. I'm not even touching my ball.

Just, just my thigh. And it's wet. It's very wet. Oh my God. Yo, true story. I was peeing yesterday and I smelled my balls and it smelled like what I remember my dad's smelling like growing up and I was like, yo, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Everyone's dead or parents have a smell.

Everyone's got a smell. They're balls. Like, like everyone's got a smell. Like, I know. So you remember, you think you're, I'm very good with remembering smells. Okay. For instance, you, you, you might not be able to hit like remember this right now, but Espo, our friend Espo, I'm going to describe his smell and you're going to be like, wow,

you are good at describing smells and remembering smells. His, he smells like if you farted in a thing of baby powder. Tell me I'm wrong. Who does smells you got? Um, what is your, so what are your, your balls smell like your dad? So, so no, no, no, no. So I remember when I was like younger, like my dad would like hold us, you know, once a week.

Yeah. And I would be like, oh yeah, that's, that's daddy smell. And so your balls smell like daddy smells. Like in yesterday was peeing and I smelled it and I was like, this is my balls that smell this way. So you're like, my dad's down there. So I'm smell, well, no, but then I'm, I'm thinking like, holy shit, like, was I smelling my dad's balls this whole time?

Well, probs, right? Your dad has a smell. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's probably not pleasant. No, no, it's very bad. Very, very. I would describe it as a vomited broccoli.

My dad used to take a shower and then when he got out the shower smelled like shit. Really? Yeah. It wouldn't smell like shit. It would smell like an old, like, here's what my dad smells like. Right? Not like, it's there. It's just not, Frank, you just go like this.

You went, man, quit, it's there. All right. My dad, right? Yeah. And then he takes a shower. Go ahead. He, when my dad is disgustingly filthy and then he takes a shower and then he gets out of the shower and I go in there.

It smells as if a supermarket lost power, right? For a good, like, 32 hours. Yeah. And then you walked through the produce section with all the lettuce and all the broccoli. Just sharp? And you're like, it's like, it's, it's earthy. It's a sharp earthy. But it's also like, is there, did someone spill mustard?

Do you know what I'm saying? Like, it's got like a tangy tinge. It's a tangy, it's a tangy, earthy, leafy kind of smell. Yo, I swear to God, I thought I was like, yo, this is like, I smelled my balls. Cause like, you get a, you know, well, I'm sure your dad would love the fact that you think of him when your balls are just staying on. Listen to me. Not only does my dad never listen to this, but I can almost guarantee that he would never

be able to find this. Right. You know, but he did. He, he's, I, I'm realizing now that like that stink wasn't like my dad's smell. Yeah. It was probably just his disgusting balls. You ever see your dad's dick? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Why'd you say that? Like you've seen it like fucking crazy. Well, well, when I was younger. Oh yeah. I mean, I've seen my dad's dick too. Yeah. I remember, yo, I remember my dad's dick.

But there's one time. Your dick? Whack dick. Really? No, I don't know. I don't know. Your dad is going to see this. I did it.

And he's going to call you. I don't got a whack dick. Yeah. Come on. Because my dad has giant hands and giant feet. Very big. And he would tell, he has big ass hands, big feet. Hold on.

He doesn't have big feet. He has wide feet. No, but they're, they're like a size 12, I think. That's not that big. I mean, that's big. Go ahead. But he has giant hands and giant feet. He used to tell people all the time and say, you know what they say about big hands, big

gloves, big socks. And he goes, it's a lie. Really? He used to say that all the time. Really? Yeah. I've never, I've never seen your dad's dick. I would hope not.

Yeah. I don't think you would have an opportunity. I would be. I mean, I was the one taking showers with the man. So I've seen that dick. I'd be in therapy if I did. Yeah. We've shared a toilet bowl with me and him.

We've peed together. Me and my dad. Oh, I thought you meant like you were sitting on it at the same time. Oh, no, no. How was that work? I mean, I would have to shit through his legs. I mean, you and Keith were doing that apparently back in the day. No, no, no.

He was sitting across from me. I was shitting and he would sit on the tub. It's still weird. Yeah. We're just a good old American white family. Listen, men in the world, like the moms showering with their kids is kind of okay, but you have an appendage that hangs and like at a right at the proper turn can fucking slap. Depending on what you're, what you have.

Yeah. Yeah. You're right. I'm not saying that they're good, but like men of the world don't shower with your kids. Like it's weird, but like don't or wear, wear boxers. Well, I don't, that's what you do. No, I don't know. We're boxers.

It depends how old they are. Are you going to shower with your kids? Yeah. Really? I don't know. I said that's so convincing. I have no idea. I have no idea.

It depends. It's a feel thing. I think it is a feel thing. I just don't like think I will. You don't want to like sexualize it and make it weird. I know and it shouldn't be. That's the appropriate way to approach it. But also at the end of the day.

At the end of the day, like you remember your dad's dick. I remember my dad's dick. Yeah. I remember my mom's tits. Yeah. Whoa. I don't remember my mom's tits. Yeah.

I remember them when I was real young. Not like when I was like. You know what that means? Feeding on them. You know what that means? What? You're seeing them right now. Boom.

I did it to you. You did. Yeah. You just saw them again. No. I'm looking at your eyes. I have the power now. I'm looking at your eyes.

I have the power now. You're thinking of it. No. Shatner. What are you doing? No. Shatner. You sounded like him a little bit.

Okay. You don't remember your mom's boobs? No. You will now. I can't do that. That's not how that works. I did it too, guys. You tried.

I got them. Not how that works. I think it is exactly how it works. No, but yeah. I peed with my dad. I don't think that's weird. It's cool. It's cool.

Cool. To pee with your dad. I should have told people that when I was younger. They would have thought I'm cooler. Well, no. I peed with my dad. First of all, you were already the coolest. Fucking take it easy.

You could always be more cool. Your dad used to do career days. Imagine how cool it would have been. Yeah, my dad was a fireman. He used to do career days. I remember that. Pretty good. My dad did not do career days.

Go ahead. Say you raised a son of a bitch. He had a job. I've known your dad. I saw you sitting there. I remember that. I remember that. I remember that.

I've known your dad. I saw you setting it up. No. I was waiting for what you were going to say. I thought you had the joke about something. No. I thought you were going to do a voice. Just the sad reality that he wouldn't do a career day.

Why? It's like, come in and hang out, dad. Meet my friends. Meet my friends. Yeah. Did we have friends back then? We had mad friends. Did we?

First of all, we had each other. Yeah. But now I'm saying in class. Yeah. Who was in that class? What year? Pre-K. Pre-K?

Oh, yeah. What the fuck was that? There was... We talked to other kids in the class, but were we friends with them? Yeah. There was Joe Effin. Campbell. Joe Campbell.

Joe Campbell. Oh, that's right. But we weren't hanging out with him. Well, you were in Pre-K. You're not really doing a lot of hangouts outside of class. How old are you in Pre-K? Four. That's a good age.

Four. Four. Maybe you get the kids that are a little late three. Early. That's what I mean. Yeah. But was there anyone? Was David in a Pre-K class?

No. It was just me and you, ride or die. That was Wakanda. Forever. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. But you know what I'm saying?

My dad came in. I was like, oh my God, your dad's so cool. He's a fireman. He's got the stick. I remember he bought the stick. He did. The big stick. The pointy stick.

I wore a big Tweety Bird shirt that day. Did you? Yeah. I dated a girl that was obsessed with Tweety Bird. I remember that. I just like brought it back. What? Yeah.

She was obsessed with Tweety Bird. Tweety Bird. I literally, it just came back to me. What did that mean obsessed? Like obsessed. Like was on her binder? Like, yeah. Just like weird, like a weird obsession that you had like sheets.

Did you, you called her that? You called her Tweety Bird? No, I didn't call her Tweety Bird. I wouldn't. I mean, you shouldn't say that. Like that's outside the realm of possibility. I'm sure at a point I might have been like, you're a little cutie Tweety. But like, I don't think, like thinking of it, I don't think I called her Tweety Bird.

Nice. What's that? How was she obsessed with Tweety Bird though? Just like super, like. Did you ever get super into like any character like that? What were you like obsessed with when you were younger? Like weird shit? Power Rangers.

No, but like, I'm talking about like the weird age, like middle, middle school where it's like you're doing weird shit. Pretending I was a rapper. Pretending? Yeah. I remember like fucking trying to rap. I remember when you used to call things ghetto. Yup.

That's like a good thing. Yeah. That's my ghetto. Yo, that calls my ghetto. I used to talk like an idiot. And your sister lost it on you. I remember this vividly. Yeah.

Well, go ahead. My sister, by the way, anything that I did, she created the monster. 100%. Like I remember as clear as day before seventh grade. She was the most Colombian Colombian of all time. She was, she was da mommy. Yeah. You know, da one, da only, da mommy.

Da one, da only, too lovely. And for you to envy. Was that it? I don't know. But before seventh grade, she like got my outfit. It was like a new thing of like, it was like a white tee. Like blue sweats, a fucking Yankee fit. And I remember as clear as day being in her room and she took the hat and she put it on

me and she goes, wear it low and over one eye, like Jay-Z. And I was like, oh, she said that. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah. Of course I have to. Oh, well, yeah, like hope the rock. Yeah. Not the rock.

Oh, Rockefeller. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but what, what do you remember her say when I said someone was ghetto? Yeah. So I remember being in your house and like you were in that phase where you were wearing like, uh, polos that were like super long and they were like orange and yellow. And then you were the old Houston hat and like, whatever, right?

What's up? And, uh, what's up? You were just talking about something and you said something was ghetto. You're like, yeah, that's ghetto, but you were talking about it in a good way. Yeah. And Jessica just like lost her mind. She was like, what are you saying? Yeah.

And you're like, what? And she's like, what do you think that means? And you were just, and at that moment I could tell in your face that you knew like, I fuck, I don't know. I fucked up. So you were just like, yo, it's just whatever. It's ghetto. Hold on.

I didn't speak like that. Oh, whatever. I didn't have, I didn't have the 2009 rapper Joey voice. Okay. So you were just like, it's ghetto. And then, and then she's like, I forgot what she said, but you also thought, I don't know. But like, she, she, but then she just was losing her mind and she's like, don't say that whatever.

And then eventually you guys were screaming at each other and then you didn't say it anymore. Yeah. My sister at many points in our youth would like beat the dog shit out of me. Nice. We did that. I did. I remember one time my brother literally left his room, came downstairs to yell at me because my away message was like going to duh park.

And he's like, what is duh? And I was like, what? Do you remember when your brother, I was like, it's easier. Do you remember when your brother grabbed me from across the table because I accidentally said, fuck in your house and beat the shit out of me? It was like a vaguely, it was like a Saturday in like seventh grade. And we were sitting at the table and I think like, I, like I slept over and we were having you know, eggs, you know, bacon, snotty.

And I accidentally said, fuck and your brother, no question, like no hesitation reached across the table, grabbed me and pulled me over and like pinned me down. It was like, don't you fucking ever. That's so funny. Yeah. But I also remember there was one time Tom has grabbed me by my head, like a basketball and lifted me up and then banged my head off the ceiling. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. He almost did that to me, I think. Yeah. There was a point where I would say, instead of like confirming something and saying yes or yeah. Oh God. I would say chup, chup.

Vaguely remember you telling this. There was, did you tell me this recently? I think I did. Chup, chup. There was a girl. I remember there was at the time like, because you know, full, I was never like fucking like, it was very rare that girls showed interest in me in like seventh. No, it's true.

I always had like a girlfriend, but it was just like I stayed with that person. You paint this picture of yourself. No, I'm not, I'm not painting a picture. It's not like girls were like, oh my God, Frankie's cute. It was just like, if they did, I didn't fucking know about it. So it appeared to me that no one like liked me. And I remember like, nobody liked me. Not like that.

But like, I remember this girl being into me and I was like, yo, this is the ticket. Like, I just got to like keep her around. Did you say this is the ticket? You just said that like for real. This is the ticket? What are you, Oliver Twist? What the fuck are you saying? Yo, this is the ticket.

What the fuck? Kid does no Dixie D'Amelio and this is the ticket? I don't know who you are. What the fuck is going on? I am sweating right now. It's very hot. I remember being like, yo, I need to keep this girl around. So I needed to like act a little like, you know, like a little on the wild side.

So I remember it was right when that song from Bow Wow came out. That's a great song. That was like your anthem. I remember that. That was a very good song. That song and so fresh and clean. That was your song. It's still, it's still one of my favorite songs of all time.

Chuck up. Exactly. And I remember being like, I just need to like, I was, I remember being on the phone with her on my next tail and just being like, yo, like, she'd be like, oh, do you want to like, you know, do you want me to call you in the morning? I was like, chop, chop. And she was like, what? She said what?

She was like, what? I was like, chop, chop. That means like, yeah. And she was like, I love that. I'm going to start using it. No, she didn't. I swear to God. And I was like, from then on out, she would do it.

And it kind of like killed it. So you guys were going back and forth, chopping each other. Just chopping it up. You're like, yeah, chop. And she's like, chop, chop. Like she would just be like, chop, chop. And I'd be like, and I remember at the time being like, that's my girl. I was a fucking eighth grade.

What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? I was an idiot. Chop, chop. Yeah. I remember that so vivid. Bro, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah.

I saw a lot of stupid shit like that. That's my girl. Do you remember when we would just walk around saying like Melft? That's an actual like Moroccan. I know. But like we would say it would just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Just to be dumb.

Yeah. You didn't say anything stupid like that. I mean, I definitely did. I just can't remember it. I guess I'd never had like a chop, chop kind of thing. I'm cursed with good memory, I guess. Yeah. That's my girl.

That's the girl that broke up with me for you. Oh, here we go. She told me, check her myspace, and right in the tagline it said I'm leaving you for your, or I'm in love with your best friend. Which was the tagline? It was your picture. And then it was like the title. Right next, no.

So it was your name? Oh, that's true. The picture and then like right next to your picture. And then it was like underneath it'd be like Queens, New York, age or whatever. Yeah. And she was in love with you. Okay. Do you know that one time in that box, my, did you remember where you were?

Did you remember what yours says? Said? I can't at the moment, but I'm afraid of what it could have said. Right. Put it like that. And I remember like from my space to Facebook, when everyone made that transition. I remember at that time I had in like this little bio thing under your picture. You can write whatever you want.

And I wrote, here we go. What did I write? He's realized it was super embarrassing and he's not going to remember it. Because as I was going to say the first one, the second one popped into mind. One of them said I wouldn't buy a bitch of chocolate milk. Gotcha. Doesn't make sense. It was a line from a tube steak video, which tube steak.

If no one knows tube steak, fucking YouTube that it's fucking hilarious. It's one of the funniest fucking things in the world. But it's like a fake battle rapper, like, and he's just like talking shit into a camera and like just whatever says I'm sure. Okay. And the other one was, because you know how you say like fuck bitches get money. I said fuck money, get bitches. Because my mom buys all my shit anyway.

Because at the time I was like. Quite topical. It's pretty funny. I was like 14. You were? Yeah. Those didn't last long once my brother saw him. Your brother was like the internet police in your house?

My sister. Well, mostly they would just bully and shame me into being a normal human and not saying things like that. Oh, okay. So a lot of who I am, I can tell, you know, thank God for that. No one told on me. Thank God. Except for my brother's once accidentally like revealing like I remember because we had

the one computer room. Yeah. And I remember being in there and being online and my brothers were like, what are you doing? I was like, shut up. And I forgot what it was. But like, I think in like, I like brought up. Oh, there was a fucking creepy creep isoid that lived near us named arrestee. And he said, he was like, oh, people online, they do cyber, cyber sex.

Oh, yeah. And I remember and my brothers were like, what are you doing? And I was like, oh, cyber, you know, like not serious, but like joking around. And then they had like a, like a news thing on in the living room. And it was like the new, the new craze that could be predatory on teen cyber. And my brothers both were like, oh, Frankie does that. And I was like, no, no, I don't. And your mom.

My mom barked at me, dude. My mom barked at me like, happy birthday. She barks a lot. But she was particularly in that moment upset with me. That is so funny. Cyber. Cyber sex. Yeah.

Sounds way cooler than sexting. It, it a lot cooler. Would you do this? I had cyber sex. It's like, dude, what the fuck? Did you have sex on like with wifi? The fuck? You, you put your dick in the exhaust.

In the exhaust. That's the router. That's a car. That's it. That's the router. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God.

I think we can end it here, right? You're just trying to get out of here because you're fucking steaming right now. Yeah. I actually like cool down a little bit. Really? Glad you did. Yeah. Very hot.

Betty Hall. Ask me like any yes or no question. Okay. Do you love me? Chop chop. Yeah. I needed to chop. You needed to chop on out.

Where can they find you? At Alvarez 8085 on Twitter and on Twitch. The Frank Alvarez on Instagram. Go check me out on those. So the most sexual. You can follow me at Joe Sanagato. Go follow the show at the basement yard on Instagram and Tik Tok and chop chop and also the patrons.

We appreciate you guys. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. You get every episode a week early and an extra episode every single week and yeah. And your butt being creamed is on there. Yes. And we're creeping toward 8500 where we do a power hour episode. Yes. It's going to be the drunk.

They make sure you eat for that one. That one I'm going to be eating for you. You're going to have to because that would be a mistake. We should also like as we're drinking get like mozzarella steaks. Yeah, dude. Chop chop chop chop. Oh man. All right.

We'll see you guys next time. Later. What did you just say? Later. I'm so glad I'm still recording. Why? Later. Why is that bad?

I don't know. Later. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.