The Basement Yard - #300 - The Roast Of Joe Santagato
Episode Date: June 28, 2021For our 300th episode, we put together a roast of people who know Joe the best! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the basement yard
I restient gonna send your basement out
To a very special quite possibly the most special the 300th episode episode of the basement yard
Oh man, number three hundred
I
Worry about your neighbors. Yeah, me too. Will they get you in trouble? No, they're cool. You own the whole penthouse, so
Pretty soon the whole building Joey. Yep, 300 man. Yeah 300 and do we have something for the people today?
Yeah, because ladies and gentlemen as you could tell I've gotten dressed up. I look amazing
Yeah, I tied my bow tie myself. You did. I'm impressed by that
I will say it took me so long that my arms started to hurt
Say what you will yeah, but this is the roast of Joe San Agato baby
That's loud. That is so loud. This is the roast of Joe San Agato and the basement yard
I'm so excited. Joey. Are you excited? You are the guests of honor. You didn't get dressed up. No, but you are gonna have a beer
Warm a warm beer. Why are they warm because they've been in here the whole time. There's beers in my fridge. I didn't know that
Either way and we got quite the night open to you
So actually let me go ahead and start my intro here. I got a script which you guys won't see Joey could see it
Josh will see me. I'm not I'm gonna look at you. Thank you
ladies gentlemen
And whatever group of people will eventually identify themselves in ten years watch this and get upset and offended
Intro welcome to the first ever
This is already
More than I expected
This is disgusting. I am your host for the evening Frank Alvarez. Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you
Thank you. Thank you, and I am excited to be here on the 300th episode of the basement yard, you know
Joe round of applause for you, man
Thank you who would have known the little wife beater wearing white kid from SDK stuck it out and figured it out, man
He figured it out
He cracked the code he figured out how to make the most amount of money by doing the least amount of work
And
That's right. That's right Joey. That's how long you've been around how long SDK. Yeah
elite daily
Yep, Facebook. That's where you started doing videos when Facebook was not just alt-right sociopaths
You know rock the promo Wow 12 years. Yeah, 12 years. Can you believe 12 years?
You've been making these videos one more year, and maybe Chris Delia will finally want to work with you
Oh my god
Oh, you're not kidding
So Joey we put together quite a group of people that wanted to send something to you a little
Congratulations
I'm so excited. I know I know it might be hard to pretend that you like the attention
But you know
And give it up while I'm doing this though. I will plug patreon patreon
I
Try not to have some base for the art you support me when I inevitably get cancelled and fired
This is my last show this has got to be
So how do you feel Joe? How do you feel in tonight? It was better now long time coming. We will hear from you more at the end
But long time coming. Oh my god. I don't know. I don't know. Do you remember the first video you made?
I do. What was it? Oh, I think you said it on the patreon episode power episode available now
By the way, this plus alcohol basically. Yeah, not good
Yeah, wait, which one are you referring to the power. Oh like the actual first one
I like the first one that you like put out there for like the world to see where you would like go
sub
Yes, yes, I do remember that video. Yeah, I watched it pretty recently and it's not good
It's I mean, you know, it is what it is didn't age. Well. Oh, well, that's just aged like milk
On that YouTube channel that has over two million subscribers that you you guessed it. Don't use yep
All right. Well Joey our first host of the night. I mean boy. What can I say about this guy?
He is someone that you've personally looked up to for a very very long time
I I struggle making fun of him because he has and probably will beat the shit out of me at least one more time before
I die in a couple years
And besides anyone with a couple IPA's he's the only person in the world that Joey will listen to
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Thomas, San Agato. Oh man. I'm so scared three
I'm so scared. Okay
Hey, so I
Wanted to say and I was gonna try to perform it
Performing it, but like I was gonna make it seem like it was off the cuff
There you go, oh god
Started making YouTube videos I said to myself man, this is so stupid
The kid isn't even funny. I mean I watched the videos and some of them were funny
But really only the ones that keep losing and obviously any video that I made
But you kept at it and eventually you convinced me it was a good idea
You know you turned what was seemingly a hobby into a lucrative career and
Shortly after you topped a million subscribers on YouTube. I took my college degree and set it on fire
You bought a microphone you set it up on a plastic folding table in mom's basement and you talked into it
about absolutely nothing of substance
For hours every week and I'm sure it's true
You know, you need to be a special kind of narcissist
To do something right. I mean if you've ever heard Joey talk about his athletic ability
Here we go
I
Have a lot more things to say I'm sure
But Frank literally told me about this hours before he needed it. Yeah, sure. That is true. He's really good at his job
In all seriousness though, I mean, I'm super proud of you despite all the success you've had you've always kept the level head
You've always put your family and your friends first and I know I speak for a lot of people when I say, you know
Thank you for taking us
on this ride with you
And I also just want to say that
Even though I never really watched your videos
And I can't honestly say that I've ever listened to a full podcast episode. I
Am your biggest fan, so you got that going for you. Wow, and that's all for me
Oh
Wow
All right, Thomas where'd it go? He hit on some stuff there that pretty spot-on. He did a good job
They're great. Nice for being told 12 hours ago. Yeah
No, I hit him up yesterday, I forgot I'll be honest
I got to hit him up a couple other people that I like Greg. He's not in here. What's the what's the volume situation?
I hope that's that bad only video. Can you can in your volume? Is it is it all the way up? Well?
It's not it's not okay. All right. Good. It's like 60%
Okay, we'll just lower it a little bit more and then I'll crank it here so that we're not like blowing out
Yeah, but uh, he's right about a lot. No, yeah, that's my guy, but that is fucking hilarious
What hat is that? Is that like oh, so yeah, so obviously Thomas, uh, you know if you put him on camera
He needs to promote self-promote. He used to self-promote. So, you know, Ironic calling me the narcissist
He's like listen, I also have a company that uh, you know, he does digital marketing
It's called for three and that's the the logo for it
He also has about 18 logos for it. If you go to his if you go to my brother's house
There's coasters. There's hats hats baby bottles like there's baby bottles with his logo on it. Yep
There's getting me. There's stickers all over the back of his car that have different logos on it. Wait, wait, wait, wait
Yeah, he's a sticker guy. He's so he's a bumper sticker guy. He's a yeah, but he also you know the stickers
They're all his own company. No, no, no, no, no, it's like a bunch of different
Tell me he has like a one that says like Montauk the end. No, but
He has one that says you ever see these ones on the back of cars that say salt life
That guy because he was a former surfer. Well, he's still surfs. He still surfs
Yeah, oh, you can't be a former surfer if you never like surfing
What do you like competitively he goes out there and he kind of just like floats around I
Didn't know he had a salt life, dude
I see salt life is insane because I live by the Jersey Shore, which is the whole part of Jersey apparently
Yeah, and I see those salt life bumper stickers all time and I swear to God
Every person I like, you know when you see a bumper sticker and you're like, I know exactly who's driving this car
Then you see them and you go. Yep. Yeah, that's exactly every see that sticker
I go whoever's sitting in that car right now stinks. Oh, yeah, well, thanks and there's sand everywhere everywhere in that car
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah
It's good. I appreciate it man. That's that's my oldest brother
I worried about like what happens when my children end up seeing our videos and maybe like homeschooling them
Well, they're gonna be really pissed when we hit a certain amount of
Patrons and you piss your pants on the show. Well, yeah, that's that's a big problem
I've also thought about other things. I've said where I said like I would go gay for Bill Gates
Well, yeah, yeah
I mean that's gonna that's not gonna age well when it comes out that he's like touched a child or something
Yeah, which I that's I think we're months away from that. I would say it's already come out
But he's put the kibosh on it, you know, yeah, but eventually he's figured out how to the kibosh that smells
Warm, it's not that warm, but it's not good. It's not good. Wow. Well, that was great. Thank you so much
Go check out his digital marketing company that he continues to make money off of us from for three media
For three media go check it out. Wow. Well our next
Roaster is someone that a lot of people know of and hear about but they've never quite seen sure and that is
Editing extraordinary Josh Josh
You know, he has multiple last names, so I don't know what you want to call him
And it's only matter of time before he transitions and I have to call him by a different first name as well
You know, he says he's not a neo-nazi, but he actively names his pets after Hispanic foods just to feel better about himself
I think so that's a hundred percent what he does chili and beans chili and beans
Yeah, and and like those dogs are it's like the Wild West wait. It's chili Hispanic
Chili's a I thought chili was just like an old fat white dudes thing like a white. It's there's beans in it
There's beans. It's like, you know, there's a pepper a chili pepper. That's
Season Asian dishes too. Yeah, but this the joke supports what I believe. Let's just go with beans. Let's go with beans
Let's just never oh
My god, this isn't this is something yeah, a lot of people you guys don't know what Josh looks like and I promise you
He's exactly what you would think he looks like probably
Except he's very muscular. Yeah, so ladies and gentlemen give it up for the one the only yeah, Josh
All right, so he's gonna make himself look great. Yeah
Hey guys, how you doing got beans here with me. Hi beans. Oh, it's cute. Oh things. I want to say first
Let's start before congrats. I say that to you guys only just because joey's too embarrassed to have me in front of the camera
I'll go fuck myself. Thanks a lot
But yeah, it's the 300th episode that's a milestone you guys can inevitably have sex on the show with the way you talk to each other
Calling yourselves handsome and hot
Joke your dad's more funny than you. Sorry to break it to you roasted Frankie. Stop calling me a white supremacist
I look more Spanish than you do. Well, so just because you're a little bit heavy and your father doesn't make it a personality trait
But oh jokes aside
300 episodes is a lot guys
It was fun being on the ride. Well still on the right
It's good. Let's go for 300 more 600 more 900 more for talking more
Good job guys
Yeah, this personality came out at the end there. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah, just stare at the camera. Yo, that's Josh
Make it a point to get on camera one day. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if he'll make it
You know, I'm sweating. You see me. Yeah, it's hot in here. How do you think I feel? Yeah, you're so you must be swolce. Oh, I
Must be swolce. I'm trochan. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Yo fucking flamed your ass. Oh, yeah
First of all, look at the freeze frame of his face right now that every part of that video tells me like his face right there
He wants to close his camera and just beat the shit out of someone probably
He's big boy tie guy, right?
Mm-hmm does fucking flip you over and kick your head off
You will he verbally kicked my head off right there. Yeah, that was great
I love that being fat is a personality trait. I don't why not because it's literally not
You can make it like how I don't think you're fat enough which is a little y'all
I thought you were sweating through your elbow, but it's a patch
Oh cool, by the way elbow pads don't do what the hell are you doing? Listen, it came with the jacket. What do you expect a different jacket?
Gotcha
It's been a while. I don't think you're fat enough for it to be your personality trait
I think I am like Chris Farley. Oh, that was well, too
Yeah, all right. Yes. So like he's
He's up there
Well was you're in this like gray area. I am I'm not in like funny fat area
No, I'm not in like, you know a good skinny area. No, I'm like in an area where
It's just not good. It's just not good. It's disappointing
It's really not nice because I if I put an effort I might look better. Yeah, but we know that's not gonna happen
Not any time soon
We can look like Josh. Yeah, who here 100% looks like he's from the vampire diaries
Show man. Oh man. Oh, so well
How long has Josh been working for you now?
Maybe two years. Wow. I think maybe two years. Yeah, I think two years. No, Josh is my guy though
You can gamble with him
Not really. Yeah, he did. No, I told him like well, you told me before you hired him like yo, he's so stupid
No, I hired Josh because I at the time he like hated his job and I was like
I could use an extra set of hands. So I kind of you know and to his credit
He was he kind of just like trusted me to you know
I think it's pretty awkward not awkward, but like a risk to be like, okay the degree that I went to college for
I'm just not gonna use anymore and I'm gonna fucking just jump into this thing that I've never done before
Yeah, I mean you literally but knowing the kind of person Josh is I always knew like this dude is just gonna be good
I like he's just a fucking
Workhorse. He's always been dedicated to showing us his dick and balls
So like you knew he'd be dedicated to work when you yeah, I've seen Josh's dick more than I at one point in my life
I would say for two summers. I saw his dick and balls more than I saw my own for two summers
I I will say this I would say 2015 2016 big big dick and ball summer sides my own
That's the next one. That's the next dick that I've seen the most. Yeah balls. Yeah, and let me say
Kind of impressive it's kind of not not I remember it. That's what I'm saying
You know, he's not working with you know, like a 12 gauge, but yeah, he's not like, you know
He's not knocking down buildings. You wouldn't want him rolling up with that AK. You know exactly you know what I'm saying
But thank you Josh. He's not batting third, but he's definitely not batting knife
Bingo, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly clean up like someone else we might hear from in a couple minutes
It's a heavy hitter there. Yeah, but yeah, so Josh. Thanks Josh. Thanks Josh
Josh is just as much as part of this than any but as anybody is I would say to be honest with you
He definitely does way more than I do. Yeah, I definitely more than you
Now yeah, yeah, a cumulative. I'm gonna try that again
Did I say that right? I don't know that's a word that I can't do a cumulative cumulative. Isn't it a cumulative?
Accumulative
Accumulative a cumulative a cumulative. There you go. Oh, Jesus. What's going on? Yeah
Fucking cheese not cheap. That was a little bit hard a cumulative
I love how he said they're like I was it was a great big along for the ride like I think he's done
Yeah, yeah, that was resignation. He's out of here. Yeah, he's slipped up. He's gone. He's gone. It's all right
Well, ladies and gentlemen next I think he's gonna be a treat for everyone involved. Oh, you know
I have been on since last August last July
and before me oh
There was an icon of the game that some might say yeah
gentlemen who had been on when we hit episode 200. Yep, and
You know a man who's claimed to fame is not only singing about titties but having a good old pair of
Oh
Man, oh man
Well, here he is ladies and gentlemen the one that people always want to hear from according to the comment section
What did you just say? I mean?
Coming the person that everyone wants to hear from the one the only
Danny low Priori boy
This is loud
What up, bitch
Or this episode 300 is some shit. Oh my god, did he do a song roast your ass
I've been waiting a long time people been waiting to hear my side of shit
First off I suck your dick real fast put it in your ass
Maybe lay you down and roll around and grass
You just have a little sex real nice
Yeah, maybe once maybe twice. I could suck your shit
We can do it hard all over this bitch. Oh, yeah, how you like that 300 episodes
You gonna take 300 separate loads
And that's how we do it, yeah, that's what's up, uh, motherfucker
That's how I do and bitches know I'm coming through with the crew and we gonna have like one or two dudes
Have sex with you at the same time. You better like that shit
Because you fucking ass is mine
I just realized this is hit them up. Are you like that shit?
Isn't it
People was like, yo roast Joe. I said easy
And everybody else over there to a yo Josh, I'll fuck you too
Frankie
No, I'm saying
Fucking company as crew I have sex with all of you. No, I'm saying
Congratulations on 300 episodes
Oh
The whole part was electric not listen very unconventional approach there by Danny
One of a kind man
You really are
Oh my god, dude, I think the gist of that is he want to let us know you I think I got it
That he wants to fuck our ass and I think he would too
We went on a date two days ago. Oh, yeah, how is that didn't result in ass fucking that's for sure
You might not have been thinking about it at that point in time. We I don't know
I think he was he almost killed himself on a revel on a revel. You know the scooter bikes
Like that like in New York you drive around excuse they can rent you can own them already
So we were leaving dinner and he lived not too far from where we went to dinner and he gets on one of them
And he goes to take
He goes to take off and he gets like
10 feet and then the thing to shut off and locks in place and he almost flipped over the entire thing
I have no idea those things aren't those things killing people like left and right. Oh people are going down
Bunch of a bunch of people going down. Yeah, you know, I was dying. I fuck well
He almost was too. Yeah, it was he was crushed right into it was like some truck or something
But it's hilarious. But yeah, shout out to Danny man. It was there for a hundred episodes. I think just about it
Just about a hundred episodes
Also part of this to
Unfortunately, we weren't able to hear from my flow priori. Yeah, but I know he's a big friend
Yes, and fan of the show. We have all said that he is the funniest low Priori
Of them all. Sorry Danny, which is saying a lot. Yeah, that's like saying, you know
That fucking Tom Brady between Tom Brady Peyton Manning like Tom Brady's better like
Gotta use a better analogy there, you know
sports, but
My senses congratulations as well. I almost wonder because the Danny's that was raunchy
Mike's get a little raunchier. I
Assume Mike's oh, like I can't say what's up to Mike without him telling me that he would like
Yeah, yeah, it's a very sexual family very sexual family
Good kissers
What?
Why did you say that?
What did you say? What's getting you first the heat or the beer?
The heat got me 40 minutes ago Frank
I'm dying in here, and I don't know these lights that make sense and also like the laughter in my in my body is
Are you liking it so far? Hey, I'm having a good time. You're having a good time
Do you want to do the ad now? Oh, yeah, you know what I do the ads now cuz
Guys the ads we have it. We have an ad that we need to
People can't see but it's Keith. It's Keith. There's a picture of Keith. Yeah, okay
Okay
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Yo, that thing is loud as shit. I'm shocked. What did you get that target? They sell that?
Oh, yeah, party aisle, baby. Let me get another beer. Oh, yeah
Good for you
Who was it?
Christian that I
Think I've drank every day this week. Well, that's all right. I mean when you don't have a job
What are you talking about? I got 300 episodes
Do you so do you remember the first episode of the basement yard? I do
What was it? What were you talking about? Who was there?
It was in my mom's basement. So we started this podcast
It was in my mom's basement on a plastic table like Thomas was saying that's where the word basement yard comes from because that's what your
Nunna used to call your basement. I didn't have a nunna
Both of my grandmoms were grandma
By the way both dead
They have died. Yeah, they're soups dead. Yeah, do you have a grandma both dead?
Yo, it's my guy mine died first though
Pretty sure both of them always got to be better. Wait your grandma died before mine, which well one of them died 2007
That's early, baby. Yeah, the one died in
2013
Yeah, you beat me. Yeah, you're there more dead than my grandma's
But yeah, my grandma why am I talking about my
No, the basement yard
No, my when we were kids we used to call the basement the basement yard when my mom didn't want us out in the front yard
And didn't want to watch us because she was a lazy parent
Just kidding roast
Got you a bitch
Okay, he's celebrating it. Fuck you Liz bitch. I've always wanted to say that
No, but uh, yeah, so we called the basement yard. So we started the first one. I did I
Didn't know what the fuck we were doing
But there was obviously no video or anything was just audio and it was me Keith and your brother-in-law Danny Danny
Wow, yeah, a couple guests appeared says I think he's been on to the first one
We talked about someone who had a 19 inch dick. Yeah, I know first episode. I know why he's not been on since yes
boy
That's a basement yard like golden moment. Let me yeah, I don't know where I
I don't know what the episode is
but
But there was an episode I did with like a bunch of people and he was on and he drank like a whole bottle of Jameson
Yeah, and then it wasn't a full giant bottle. I think it was like a smaller bottle
But either way it was a lot of fucking a lot of that he shouldn't have had yeah
And we ended up going to a barn. He threw up in it and left your sister was so happy with him
He's very upset. She was so happy with him
But anyway, he uh, but you could just hear him in the background just like you know, I just make it noises
And I was like that was we have like a bunch of people on that day. It was like me you Danny
I think boss was there. Yeah, there was a lot of people in the room
Yeah, and that was when the podcast was just like a mess. Yeah when it was that's my first ever apartment
It was in a basement that one
My fucking god that scared me dude a basement and that fucking happens the basement causes
Rumble
Yeah, and tidings
So, oh my god
That's gonna get me every time
That's all ladies and gentlemen returning back to the roast
We have a man that people truly love and I don't understand exactly why because
Doesn't like hugs he certainly gives off creepy vibes with that mustache
The one the only the somehow not having diabetes Keith Sanagato. Oh, baby. Here we go. Let's hear from Keith
San Tegado. You good? Yep
Well, that's the whole video video see man made a few words few words
He's like a painting a poet laureate how they're how they're like, you know
You look at a picture and you're like this says a thousand words. Yeah, Keith says five words
But it feels like ten million words. Hey Joey go fuck yourself five five words
I guessed on that nailed it. Also. I don't know if anyone can really tell
But he's wearing a shirt and on the shirt
It's the body of a zebra that leads up to the neck so that his face looks like the face of a zebra
Keith by the way
not eight years old
31 as of this releasing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, his birthday is tomorrow. Oh turn up. Wow. Happy birthday Keith
Yeah, we're going up for his birthday get some new shirts. Oh definitely
I'm literally gonna go to the house after this and rip that in half in front of him that and any other billabong shirts
He has you can get rid of
Lord knows he probably has some he's the love bill. I think it's probably the most requested person we get. Oh, yeah
I'm on the show Keith's it. Yeah, he's an interesting character, but also he's you know
One of the key cogs to my success as well
I think in terms of some of the most popular series that I have is he's on it. That's right. What did you say?
Oh
Mad Libs, that's right, which is just another talking one. They're all talking ones, babe
What do you want us to do?
You know, I'm gonna tell you one time someone left me a comment or oh
my sister
me and Keith made a video and
We I sent it in like the group chat like whatever and then she goes this would be funnier if the volume was off
how
I was like, do I suck that bad shit possible? I don't know but she was like it's just funny to watch Keith is you know
Like I remember
Jeff Hardy
People would use the term the charismatic enigma. That is Keith. Mm-hmm. That is so Keith
Yeah, I have known him for as long as I've known you yeah, and I still can't figure him out
I know I can and I don't think anyone I think that's what he wants
Yeah, he likes to be a mysterious man of mystery a mysterious man of mystery. That's double mysterious. That's that is very mysterious
Yeah, it is well Keith, you know wanted to say congratulations
I was honestly shocked that he sent a video in I was like there's no way like this makes sense now
Yeah, I like if I like I can't picture Keith taking like a minute and like saying a thing
he told me when I asked him he was like it's gonna be tough and
Keith so for those of you guys who don't know Keith loves to tell people that he's busy with work
Like you don't need to fucking ask I like hey Keith like you don't play video games later
What day because work what day you know, and I'm like well just when you can yeah, you know
And that was what I asked him. I was like oh Keith like can you do it?
He's like when when do you need to buy and I was like Wednesday the latest and he goes Mondays are tough. I
didn't
Mondays are tough and I might be you know exaggerating that a little for the sake of comedy, but you know
So Keith, thank you so much. Thanks Keith. If you guys want to see Keith on here. Make sure you use the hashtag Keith
That's it. That's the last egg. We're not gonna look it up or anything
We're not gonna force it just fucking check it out moving on. Oh
My god, I think there are few characters that are born from the show and just the show, right?
Keith is always been Keith Keith's Keith's an icon. He became he was a legend growing up
You know outside of it. He's a streamer streams on Twitch. Yeah
Myself same thing. I've been legendary my whole life
But there are few people that have become I
Thought you are farting dude. I was gonna be like what?
Okay, go ahead. There are a few people that have become popular as much as Ryan Lynch
And I mean, what can I say about this man that has not been said about every other fat fucking piece of shit from New Jersey?
He's wearing a vineyard vines t-shirt, of course and he is
Also kind of a fashionista. He's a bit of a fashionista. Yeah, he is
He also when we went out for your bachelor party. He wore that one button up. That was
pretty
You know intense didn't not something that I could wear
It was just a brown button up with like a cowboy riding a horse or something on it. Oh, yes
Like mountains. Yes, that way it was like a mountain scape with like a single stallion on it
Yeah, it looked like a picture that would be hanging in a like a motel
Yeah, but it was on his shirt. It was certainly on his shirt and I have to admit
Little jealous of it. He pulled it off. I also went with the tuck the blue jeans tucked it into jeans
Tuck it right into blue. He was feeling and we also at the end of the night
We shut basically as the bar shut down. Were you there when we started?
Ryan Lynch for president chant. I'm pretty sure I was face down. You were not there that night. Yes
That was the last night. Well, whether he's pretending
He has a future in the radio industry or pretending that people are laughing with him and not at him ladies and gentlemen
Ryan Lynch
I'm so excited to be here tonight roasting the great Joe Santagato the podcast host with the most
There's a clothing with his own name on it. It's like we get it Joe
Just because your mom had to write your name in your underwear doesn't mean
Every t-shirt sweatshirt short sweatpants socks hat that you can find
You know, I actually heard they were interested in making the Santagato Studios thumbs
They even released a few prototype, but I kept getting bought up by old men
It's interesting
Making videos for old weird men and now ten years later
He's an old weird man on the internet making videos for little kids full circle. He's done it. Yeah, you've really done it
You know
The pause he's like well
Why is he in slow mo okay, I gotta back out back it back
You don't know this Joe was actually one of the first people don't have Kobe
Hasn't had taste in over six years
Really excited to hear what some of the other rosters have to say tonight
Maybe this will be the first time Frank makes someone other than Joe laugh
Oh, I guess it's pretty incredible all the success you've had
I mean you built this entire empire of being the second funniest person on all of your shows
So not everything Joe's done has turned out to be a success but wingtel mobile
It's actually the fastest growing cell phone provider amongst drug dealers and human traffickers
You've never heard of us and that's the point
I
Okay, right 20 20, I mean what can you say?
What can you say
Stop oh man some great points there. He did he truly did that was funny
I mean, you know the guys got a point guys got points
You you did start off as a young boy making videos for probably old men that I don't know and a lot of young girls
That at that point and then you're not for them. That was a byproduct of oh, yeah
I'm sure you really was it wasn't making videos about fucking blues clues and Justin Bieber. I
Wasn't doing that shit
We were making videos about fucking sluts
That's not for young girls Frank
No, what are the first videos I remember being in with you was we did a video of me saying Harry Potter
In 10 different ways. Yeah
I got I got made fun of that. I know I'm on my college campus. Was he making fun of you? No
No, he was I didn't know him at that point in time. Okay. He was still just a you know, bright-eyed young virgin
You know living elsewhere now. What is he a?
Big mustache old version and like with dull eyes
Fucking glassy eyes. Yeah, man, Ryan Lynch, man. Thank you so much for being on appreciate you the first
And last time you're getting Lynch on this
Yeah, honestly having Lynch on would would probably be fun. He's moving back up to the Northeast apparently
I know we're gonna you guys are gonna be seeing more of Lynch. That's for certain better for worse
Let me tell you yeah, like on my Instagram probably we're gonna remember when we went out to a bar in Connecticut
We made him give a speech
Yeah, that was a karaoke bar. What no, this was a regular bar with like a quiet out like a backyard outdoor place
The ducks in the dress. Yes. Yes, the rubber ducky drinks and we were like, yo, just give a speech
He was like, okay
If if peer pressure had legs and a mustache and was overweight
It would be Ryan Ryan crushing it. Well, RIP actually this is probably last will ever see of Tennessee Ryan
Nashville Ryan. That's true. Nashville Ryan RIP. Yeah, which he's coming back up to the Northeast now. He's now he's Manhattan Ryan
Wow, what is he living in Manhattan or is he gonna be living in Jersey?
He's gonna be living in Manhattan. That's dangerous. Yeah, that's dangerous. It's gonna take over. I said, oh
Fucking boy. Well, ladies and gentlemen four and a half video four and a half minute video coming next four and a half minutes. I
Don't know if I'm prepared for this. I know he he had a couple drinks this one. I'm this one
I'm worried about he had a couple drinks before he did this so wait. When did he send you this late last night? Oh
Boy, well ladies and gentlemen, was that with him yesterday? I think you were he's an icon that has often spoke about
On the basement yard for his incredibly small penis, but big ego
Sorry, I think he messed that I mix it up. I mix it up. That's supposed to be incredibly big penis and small ego
Yes, we play. I think he messed that up as well
We will hear from a man later that openly sucks dick, but now let's hear from one that will
That will forever do it while hiding in his craft beer shirt filled closet
As looks apparently run in the family is clear that brains don't
Are next presenter of the night the one the only smoky Pete smoky Pete
So Frank told me that the 300th episode of the base me I was coming up and that you guys wanted to be roasted for it
Oh, no great be more arrogant
So when Frank desperately texting me for content, I checked and I don't follow the base me on an Instagram
Which is amazing and I went to do it because I was like, oh, you know, let me
You know do my friends a favor and checked out the thumbnails and the captions and immediately thought I am way too good for this
Hundreds of thousands of people disagree with me. So this is where I this
Oh my
This gets hammered. So I'll start with Frank who obviously pulls the majority of the weight on the show
And has it physically
First encounter with Frank was in college. We went to UNH not the real one and
DM me on Facebook saying yo, where all the parties at that's true
Immediately I deleted it and went back to continuing my life without him existing in it, which was phenomenal
But to go back to some main points with him
Frank lives in southern, New Jersey
It's
Frank you have on multiple times told me that you have the most fuckable body out of all of our friends
I do. No, you don't we know what you look like
I don't think it was like a part of that just according to LinkedIn. You've worked at Target
Forever your entire adult life
You still defend your hair from 2017 it was terrible it was great terrible
You're responsible for multiple lives at this point and you're still way way way too into the WWE
So I know I'm supposed to typically you know and arose with something positive and like hey ma'am like you're doing great
I appreciate you everything's awesome
Where do I go from here?
You're an adequate father it appears so
Cheers to Frank
I'm nervous now
So anyway to go on a jelly
You've come a really long way from being a weird creepy nine-year-old that I didn't want to be around and actively didn't like
Now I can have those opinions from the passenger seat of your 2021
Black Range Rover Sport refrigerator in it that you have been just
Monstrously humbled out like you've only been more humble about all your merch. It's just as painted in your last name
Again super appreciated we all love it
And this is tough because I kept thinking how do I make fun of the third wealthiest person of our friend?
One thing I was really glad you got into fitness and got a whoop that really like I was like awesome
Let's fucking do this. I love it
So now every time your heart beats just one extra beat per month
You can go to the doctor get tested for colon cancer diphtheria
Everything else that you feel like is probably wrong with your body
It's also been very fun watching you egregiously spend money by geos and securities and
No one knows more about deep-seating securities than someone who reads all the books on the planet that you are very very public about
This one actually
I'd see a Christmas and like our moms are friends and all that
But it's been super incredible watching both this brand of what it is
I remember, you know, whatever it was eight nine ten years ago when you were just starting getting traction me being like hey
Maybe he's on to something and then now having friends from high school college
Reach out see on the streets, whatever maybe being like hey, your cousin's hysterical. He's doing great. I'm like, yeah, man
I absolutely disagree, but it's much appreciated
What you've created is honestly phenomenal and I always always look forward to what's next in your plans because
again, you're just
Incredibly cold-driven person and you motivate me to be better in all those ways. It's just it's been really really fun to watch
So anyway, it's a little bit late on a Wednesday
And I got to go to bed because I have a real job and I'm just talk about
Ghost penis is on the internet
So it's been fun later guys. Oh my god
Ladies and gentlemen drop in the mic smoke you pee honestly fuck this kid
Yeah, well, why are we friends with him? You have to be because your parents are related but like
He's doing a really good job a four-minute roast that was like now
I wasn't falling asleep and add some sense of humor to his yeah repertoire. Yeah, which is dangerous
Yeah, fuck off though because his personality has always been at C plus at best
Honestly, though
I think it's mostly because he wrote it down because hat had he like this doesn't shine through like
On a day-to-day that took you guys look
I don't want to get your hopes up
All right, you're gonna meet Pete one day and you're gonna be like this kid's like cool
But like not the same person first of all, he's five foot four
I just want to make sure I actually a lot of people don't realize his muscles are over-competitive for the fact that he's fucking tiny
He's gonna be so mad you said he's five four well, I mean had that but you find pinches though
I mean, I'll give him five five. Maybe no, no, no. What is he though?
I've spent a lot of time with him. I'm telling you he's five five. Okay. Yeah
I don't think so. I think he is. I don't know and anyway, just the personality you saw there
Really really did a good job with the writing. You know, he's got a future in that
Maybe hire him. Yeah, you could be out of a job. Well, hold on now
I know if if you would never put someone in the show that was better looking than you
Oh
Man, why not?
Because but then I get to be like the fucking, you know, I get to be self-deprecating
I mean, even though I am I say I don't think that you you have to stretch too much to be there. Really? Yeah, I do
Jesus Christ
I'm really shocked that Pete Pete's been on the
Podcasts once or twice. Has he well, we argued he was in he was in a video
He was on an episode because we argued like food with him or cereals with him. That's right
That was at the Long Island City apartment. Wow. Yeah, that was some time ago. That was that was wow 25 foot ceilings
They were 12 no parking. That's true. That place was cool, but sucked. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep
I I couldn't stand up in your bedroom
It had a slanted roof it was that's because I used the the master bedroom of the house for
The studio really that's the master the brick wall room. Mm-hmm. That's stupid. It's the biggest room in the house
Yeah, but the master bedroom is supposed to have a bathroom and that's what the one that you did take had. Oh
Yeah, no, that was like an attic space that they turned into
Whatever either way I can tell you that when you went to your next place
Getting to you was so much fucking easier. Yeah, and this is this is that was really really surprised
I'm impressed. Thank you. Got it. Where's the me though?
He at least said nice, but he's been waiting he he he
Clammers for the opportunity to roast me big time. I stand by I think I do have the most fuckable like I think I'm I am
Overall the most fuckable of all of our friends. Mm-hmm. As you say that the sign comes down
The sign that says you did it
Came down. It's like, no, we're not doing that
It's fucking
It's a great example of what's happening here. It's really showing how everything is going exactly. So, um, where are we for time?
All right, 50 minutes. We're fine. We got one more person. We got to hear from we're good
And you know, I did say that we were gonna hear from someone that openly sex dick. Mm-hmm, or does he oh, I haven't seen it
I haven't seen I would hope. Yeah, I don't know but
A friend of the show and that is Pat McCullough. Did I say that right? I don't know his name is barstil Pat barstil Pat
From the out and about formally known as gay Pat formally known as gay Pat, but you know PC
That's right. I don't want to ever he's more than just gay. He's also unfunny
No, but Pat used to be called gay Pat
Barstil which and then they figured out about Dave Portnoy doing what?
Stuff, you don't get that far up the chain without you know, oh
You think he's touching them, you know, you think you can't I don't know. I don't know either of them
I know yeah, that's a really nice fucking funny guy
And he wanted to send something the last person we will be hearing from before we
The myth the legend himself so ladies and gentlemen barstil Pat as he commonly refers to himself
Joe
my king
Congratulations on 300 episodes
When we first met on grinder a couple of years
I
Didn't know what you stood for. I didn't know what your job was. I'd like to you just
For you and that was the start of our relationship together our gay relationship together. Oh, here we go
Take relationship together. That's right. I'm involved into a beautiful thing. You know, we've had appearances on each other's shows
I've been on with you and Frank with you and Danny you've come over to my place sometimes late at night sometimes in the morning
Sometimes you've come into the office
You've come a lot and we've done it together. It's been a wonderful
Beautiful thing that we've shared so I'm sending this video to you right now just to say thank you
Not only for being a friend
But for being a lover and one that I will ever
Ever forget so Joe
Here's to 300 episodes and here's to many more days and even many more nights together. I love you
Congratulations. Cheers to the next 300
Wow, that's amazing
Ironically, that's that looks like a freeze frame from like a a racist Karen video. Yes 100%
You know all you need to do is just insert a couple racial slurs in this picture and it'll pop up. It fits
Yeah, what happened to him there? Did he have a little I don't know what he was talking about
He had a little like butterfly stitch or something. He may have punched might have gotten punched
I don't know that you know, I don't know what year it is, but I know that used to happen
Who's the certain who's the current Apple guy Tim cook Tim cook? Yeah, they pulled grinder off the app store. Did they why too much sex?
You know big it's big it's, you know, how dare that. Yeah, but Pat good friend of the show. Yeah, Pat's great
He let me use his grinder account actually did he yeah, and it's what you can you can search
Ungrinder based upon like body type. Oh, so like hunky hairy like there's no like you want to talk about like PC culture and like
We need to be accepting of whatever like within the gay culture
It's like you have a thing about you like you're a cub you're a otter
Yeah, you're a you're an like a jock. Yeah, or you're just average or you're a twink and you can search just for that
Oh, so I can like go in there and be like yo, hello. My name is Frank. I'm a twinkie twank
Well, you can't be a to you're not you have to be I think I'm a twunk. I
Don't I think I'm a twunk. I think you're more of like a like a cub
Why why would you say that because you're you got some stuff to you and you got a little hair
That's why a twinkie. No, you're not twink. Oh hunky a hunky twink. That's a twunk. No, I think I am he told me
I was a twunk you can't be a twunk. Should we call him and ask him? No, he's already told me
Should I ask him? I'll text him right now. No, don't no, no, no, don't don't no
You're not a twink. I hate to break it to you a twink is like a little like teenage like little like
He looks like a teenager kind of Pat. No, like I'm saying like someone who's like 25
But they're like super skinny and like, you know a little like I guess that I don't know
I can't believe Pat said it in a video. That's fucking amazing. It's fucking hysterical. Oh, man. So thank you Pat
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I
Now get the pleasure of introducing everyone's favorite youtuber when they got their first puke mr. Joe
Uh Joe and I and some of you guys know most of you guys probably know
Sorry, you almost died. I guess we've known each other for 25 years almost came to an end
Which means I have been endlessly living in his shadow for a quarter of a century now
A lot of people don't realize that the Joe that we see here on the basement yard or on other people's lives the other show that you do
Currently hosts with Greg Dybeck
Not the same person you are in real life
On air your brash, you're know-it-all your virtue signal you gaslight
I've never been right about anything and
Actually, you know that does sound kind of a lot. Yeah. Yeah in real life
The fruits of Joey's labor were planted the seeds very very early on in his life
See as kids we would come up with hilarious ideas and then
He would exploit his attention seeking friend me and make an idiot out of himself for everyone else's entertainment
Seems like not much has changed very Jeffrey Bezos of you. Oh, which you're on your way
We believed you were we believe we were really funny at a very very early age and we were right
You know, at least you were according to the comment section people are still figuring out if I'm funny or not
When he started making videos you were living this outlandish fantasy that we wish we could have been doing together
But honestly, I didn't see the longevity in it as I went to become a whore for the collegiate sewer of our country
You honed your craft
You put in time you really researched what people what people love
And I mean what why else would you have made 16 videos about the people of Walmart?
You know Joe you often talk about how much you idolized Chris Farley growing up
But even I wish you would have followed through on that more because even Farley knew when I go out when he was on top
Oh my god
All these years later here you are just standing on top of this conglomerate that you have created
You're not only a personality in front of the camera
But working behind the camera to suck up the talents of others like some vampire gasping for their last breath
And you put your name on everything
I mean the only next logical move is to run for president and I'm sure we could find a video of you saying grab someone by
The pussy if we look hard enough
Well, hopefully the next time you slap Sanagato on something it's a dildo so you can fuck someone else for a change
Lately you've been expressing your discomfort with social media
Which is so funny because not only have you literally built an empire off it, but you are the most basic bitch
I've ever met. I mean you can't read a book walk a mile or do anything without bragging about every page and every step
You bought a Rolex with blood money
And we're able to show it off without anyone questioning where it came for
But seriously Joey 300 episodes of the baseman yard
In the time that I've known you you are not only the funniest person, but one of the kindest in front and behind the camera
You are my best friend. I will chair her
forever cherish our friendship
And I am the happiest person in the world to be your friend your only friend and nobody else
Well ladies and gentlemen
Without further ado I
Give to you the man the one the only Joe
Sanagato
That didn't not work
I
Fucking piece of where'd you buy it?
We're covered in money here. Well say something Joey on 300 episodes of the baseman yard. Let the people know
well, usually
usually on these episodes are on roasts or whatever the
you roast the everyone who's roasted you but
I'm not gonna do that
Because I don't have anything prepared, but had I had anything prepared
It would be bedtime for you all
but
No, I just want to say that
What are we doing?
300 episodes is kind of crazy. I didn't know that I would be doing this for that long
I mean I started the podcast as like a side to business kind of thing
It just seemed like a logical step and it was a lot of fun to be able to
Hear yourself through headphones. You ever like talking to a microphone and hear yourself on headphones for the first time
I hate it. I really it's so much like I hate what I sound like so much
I know that people don't like their voice, but I think talking into a microphone and listening to it. It's there it is
Nailed it I
Think hearing it for the first time you're like this is fun. You got me a card. Yes
Success can I is there something written in it? Yeah, is there money in it? No
Okay
Joe
Success isn't what you drive although a Range Rover helps
It's where you're going Miami, Colorado Fire Island
It's how you see yourself it definitely is
It's not about who who you know
It's about who you are and then you wrote Wow and
By definite and you are by definition by every definition of the word a success
Congratulations graduate
300 this is what you wrote now 300 Wow
Thanks for the laughs and the painful realization that the American collegiate system is pointless
Love facts to and then you drew a smiley face with dollar sign eyes
That's what I used to that was my tag in sixth grade. No, it wasn't that one
Yeah, I used to write it on my middle school
Like in marker like on the school like a side of the school places on it like in the hallway. Yeah desks
That's awesome, dude. So I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been supporting the show
You know, there's a lot of things that I'm currently working on that I
Hope everyone enjoys but 300 episodes of the base me yard
I fucking love the show and you know, I mean
I've talked about it before in episodes where I was like doing videos for a very long time and then I was like
Oh, man, I don't know how I feel about this. So I stopped doing it
But this just feels like something that I could do for the rest of my life
It's a lot of fun just talking and just shooting the shit especially with you know
This fucking asshole sitting next to me where me and Frankie when we were younger would always talk about
Doing like SNL or being on some show like
Entertaining people so the fact that we get to do it now. It's just like a lot of fun
But yeah, so I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. This is fucking incredibly hilarious to me
It ain't never gonna stop
That's all I got to say ladies and gentlemen go check out the patreon
Sanagato studios we got some great stuff coming at you other people's lives. We love you to another 300 ladies and gents. Thank you
Getting what's that called copyright demonetized 100% shut down watch of all you can ladies and gents see you guys next time