The Basement Yard - #300 - The Roast Of Joe Santagato

Episode Date: June 28, 2021

For our 300th episode, we put together a roast of people who know Joe the best! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard I restient gonna send your basement out To a very special quite possibly the most special the 300th episode episode of the basement yard Oh man, number three hundred I Worry about your neighbors. Yeah, me too. Will they get you in trouble? No, they're cool. You own the whole penthouse, so Pretty soon the whole building Joey. Yep, 300 man. Yeah 300 and do we have something for the people today? Yeah, because ladies and gentlemen as you could tell I've gotten dressed up. I look amazing
Starting point is 00:00:45 Yeah, I tied my bow tie myself. You did. I'm impressed by that I will say it took me so long that my arms started to hurt Say what you will yeah, but this is the roast of Joe San Agato baby That's loud. That is so loud. This is the roast of Joe San Agato and the basement yard I'm so excited. Joey. Are you excited? You are the guests of honor. You didn't get dressed up. No, but you are gonna have a beer Warm a warm beer. Why are they warm because they've been in here the whole time. There's beers in my fridge. I didn't know that Either way and we got quite the night open to you So actually let me go ahead and start my intro here. I got a script which you guys won't see Joey could see it
Starting point is 00:01:34 Josh will see me. I'm not I'm gonna look at you. Thank you ladies gentlemen And whatever group of people will eventually identify themselves in ten years watch this and get upset and offended Intro welcome to the first ever This is already More than I expected This is disgusting. I am your host for the evening Frank Alvarez. Thank you. Thank you everybody. Thank you Thank you. Thank you, and I am excited to be here on the 300th episode of the basement yard, you know
Starting point is 00:02:31 Joe round of applause for you, man Thank you who would have known the little wife beater wearing white kid from SDK stuck it out and figured it out, man He figured it out He cracked the code he figured out how to make the most amount of money by doing the least amount of work And That's right. That's right Joey. That's how long you've been around how long SDK. Yeah elite daily Yep, Facebook. That's where you started doing videos when Facebook was not just alt-right sociopaths
Starting point is 00:03:07 You know rock the promo Wow 12 years. Yeah, 12 years. Can you believe 12 years? You've been making these videos one more year, and maybe Chris Delia will finally want to work with you Oh my god Oh, you're not kidding So Joey we put together quite a group of people that wanted to send something to you a little Congratulations I'm so excited. I know I know it might be hard to pretend that you like the attention But you know
Starting point is 00:03:40 And give it up while I'm doing this though. I will plug patreon patreon I Try not to have some base for the art you support me when I inevitably get cancelled and fired This is my last show this has got to be So how do you feel Joe? How do you feel in tonight? It was better now long time coming. We will hear from you more at the end But long time coming. Oh my god. I don't know. I don't know. Do you remember the first video you made? I do. What was it? Oh, I think you said it on the patreon episode power episode available now By the way, this plus alcohol basically. Yeah, not good
Starting point is 00:04:28 Yeah, wait, which one are you referring to the power. Oh like the actual first one I like the first one that you like put out there for like the world to see where you would like go sub Yes, yes, I do remember that video. Yeah, I watched it pretty recently and it's not good It's I mean, you know, it is what it is didn't age. Well. Oh, well, that's just aged like milk On that YouTube channel that has over two million subscribers that you you guessed it. Don't use yep All right. Well Joey our first host of the night. I mean boy. What can I say about this guy? He is someone that you've personally looked up to for a very very long time
Starting point is 00:05:08 I I struggle making fun of him because he has and probably will beat the shit out of me at least one more time before I die in a couple years And besides anyone with a couple IPA's he's the only person in the world that Joey will listen to Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Thomas, San Agato. Oh man. I'm so scared three I'm so scared. Okay Hey, so I Wanted to say and I was gonna try to perform it Performing it, but like I was gonna make it seem like it was off the cuff
Starting point is 00:05:54 There you go, oh god Started making YouTube videos I said to myself man, this is so stupid The kid isn't even funny. I mean I watched the videos and some of them were funny But really only the ones that keep losing and obviously any video that I made But you kept at it and eventually you convinced me it was a good idea You know you turned what was seemingly a hobby into a lucrative career and Shortly after you topped a million subscribers on YouTube. I took my college degree and set it on fire You bought a microphone you set it up on a plastic folding table in mom's basement and you talked into it
Starting point is 00:06:44 about absolutely nothing of substance For hours every week and I'm sure it's true You know, you need to be a special kind of narcissist To do something right. I mean if you've ever heard Joey talk about his athletic ability Here we go I Have a lot more things to say I'm sure But Frank literally told me about this hours before he needed it. Yeah, sure. That is true. He's really good at his job
Starting point is 00:07:50 In all seriousness though, I mean, I'm super proud of you despite all the success you've had you've always kept the level head You've always put your family and your friends first and I know I speak for a lot of people when I say, you know Thank you for taking us on this ride with you And I also just want to say that Even though I never really watched your videos And I can't honestly say that I've ever listened to a full podcast episode. I Am your biggest fan, so you got that going for you. Wow, and that's all for me
Starting point is 00:08:25 Oh Wow All right, Thomas where'd it go? He hit on some stuff there that pretty spot-on. He did a good job They're great. Nice for being told 12 hours ago. Yeah No, I hit him up yesterday, I forgot I'll be honest I got to hit him up a couple other people that I like Greg. He's not in here. What's the what's the volume situation? I hope that's that bad only video. Can you can in your volume? Is it is it all the way up? Well? It's not it's not okay. All right. Good. It's like 60%
Starting point is 00:09:01 Okay, we'll just lower it a little bit more and then I'll crank it here so that we're not like blowing out Yeah, but uh, he's right about a lot. No, yeah, that's my guy, but that is fucking hilarious What hat is that? Is that like oh, so yeah, so obviously Thomas, uh, you know if you put him on camera He needs to promote self-promote. He used to self-promote. So, you know, Ironic calling me the narcissist He's like listen, I also have a company that uh, you know, he does digital marketing It's called for three and that's the the logo for it He also has about 18 logos for it. If you go to his if you go to my brother's house There's coasters. There's hats hats baby bottles like there's baby bottles with his logo on it. Yep
Starting point is 00:09:42 There's getting me. There's stickers all over the back of his car that have different logos on it. Wait, wait, wait, wait Yeah, he's a sticker guy. He's so he's a bumper sticker guy. He's a yeah, but he also you know the stickers They're all his own company. No, no, no, no, no, it's like a bunch of different Tell me he has like a one that says like Montauk the end. No, but He has one that says you ever see these ones on the back of cars that say salt life That guy because he was a former surfer. Well, he's still surfs. He still surfs Yeah, oh, you can't be a former surfer if you never like surfing What do you like competitively he goes out there and he kind of just like floats around I
Starting point is 00:10:24 Didn't know he had a salt life, dude I see salt life is insane because I live by the Jersey Shore, which is the whole part of Jersey apparently Yeah, and I see those salt life bumper stickers all time and I swear to God Every person I like, you know when you see a bumper sticker and you're like, I know exactly who's driving this car Then you see them and you go. Yep. Yeah, that's exactly every see that sticker I go whoever's sitting in that car right now stinks. Oh, yeah, well, thanks and there's sand everywhere everywhere in that car Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah It's good. I appreciate it man. That's that's my oldest brother
Starting point is 00:10:58 I worried about like what happens when my children end up seeing our videos and maybe like homeschooling them Well, they're gonna be really pissed when we hit a certain amount of Patrons and you piss your pants on the show. Well, yeah, that's that's a big problem I've also thought about other things. I've said where I said like I would go gay for Bill Gates Well, yeah, yeah I mean that's gonna that's not gonna age well when it comes out that he's like touched a child or something Yeah, which I that's I think we're months away from that. I would say it's already come out But he's put the kibosh on it, you know, yeah, but eventually he's figured out how to the kibosh that smells
Starting point is 00:11:32 Warm, it's not that warm, but it's not good. It's not good. Wow. Well, that was great. Thank you so much Go check out his digital marketing company that he continues to make money off of us from for three media For three media go check it out. Wow. Well our next Roaster is someone that a lot of people know of and hear about but they've never quite seen sure and that is Editing extraordinary Josh Josh You know, he has multiple last names, so I don't know what you want to call him And it's only matter of time before he transitions and I have to call him by a different first name as well You know, he says he's not a neo-nazi, but he actively names his pets after Hispanic foods just to feel better about himself
Starting point is 00:12:21 I think so that's a hundred percent what he does chili and beans chili and beans Yeah, and and like those dogs are it's like the Wild West wait. It's chili Hispanic Chili's a I thought chili was just like an old fat white dudes thing like a white. It's there's beans in it There's beans. It's like, you know, there's a pepper a chili pepper. That's Season Asian dishes too. Yeah, but this the joke supports what I believe. Let's just go with beans. Let's go with beans Let's just never oh My god, this isn't this is something yeah, a lot of people you guys don't know what Josh looks like and I promise you He's exactly what you would think he looks like probably
Starting point is 00:13:00 Except he's very muscular. Yeah, so ladies and gentlemen give it up for the one the only yeah, Josh All right, so he's gonna make himself look great. Yeah Hey guys, how you doing got beans here with me. Hi beans. Oh, it's cute. Oh things. I want to say first Let's start before congrats. I say that to you guys only just because joey's too embarrassed to have me in front of the camera I'll go fuck myself. Thanks a lot But yeah, it's the 300th episode that's a milestone you guys can inevitably have sex on the show with the way you talk to each other Calling yourselves handsome and hot Joke your dad's more funny than you. Sorry to break it to you roasted Frankie. Stop calling me a white supremacist
Starting point is 00:13:40 I look more Spanish than you do. Well, so just because you're a little bit heavy and your father doesn't make it a personality trait But oh jokes aside 300 episodes is a lot guys It was fun being on the ride. Well still on the right It's good. Let's go for 300 more 600 more 900 more for talking more Good job guys Yeah, this personality came out at the end there. I don't know if you saw it. Yeah, just stare at the camera. Yo, that's Josh Make it a point to get on camera one day. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if he'll make it
Starting point is 00:14:19 You know, I'm sweating. You see me. Yeah, it's hot in here. How do you think I feel? Yeah, you're so you must be swolce. Oh, I Must be swolce. I'm trochan. Yeah, dude. Oh, man. Yo fucking flamed your ass. Oh, yeah First of all, look at the freeze frame of his face right now that every part of that video tells me like his face right there He wants to close his camera and just beat the shit out of someone probably He's big boy tie guy, right? Mm-hmm does fucking flip you over and kick your head off You will he verbally kicked my head off right there. Yeah, that was great I love that being fat is a personality trait. I don't why not because it's literally not
Starting point is 00:15:03 You can make it like how I don't think you're fat enough which is a little y'all I thought you were sweating through your elbow, but it's a patch Oh cool, by the way elbow pads don't do what the hell are you doing? Listen, it came with the jacket. What do you expect a different jacket? Gotcha It's been a while. I don't think you're fat enough for it to be your personality trait I think I am like Chris Farley. Oh, that was well, too Yeah, all right. Yes. So like he's He's up there
Starting point is 00:15:39 Well was you're in this like gray area. I am I'm not in like funny fat area No, I'm not in like, you know a good skinny area. No, I'm like in an area where It's just not good. It's just not good. It's disappointing It's really not nice because I if I put an effort I might look better. Yeah, but we know that's not gonna happen Not any time soon We can look like Josh. Yeah, who here 100% looks like he's from the vampire diaries Show man. Oh man. Oh, so well How long has Josh been working for you now?
Starting point is 00:16:13 Maybe two years. Wow. I think maybe two years. Yeah, I think two years. No, Josh is my guy though You can gamble with him Not really. Yeah, he did. No, I told him like well, you told me before you hired him like yo, he's so stupid No, I hired Josh because I at the time he like hated his job and I was like I could use an extra set of hands. So I kind of you know and to his credit He was he kind of just like trusted me to you know I think it's pretty awkward not awkward, but like a risk to be like, okay the degree that I went to college for I'm just not gonna use anymore and I'm gonna fucking just jump into this thing that I've never done before
Starting point is 00:16:54 Yeah, I mean you literally but knowing the kind of person Josh is I always knew like this dude is just gonna be good I like he's just a fucking Workhorse. He's always been dedicated to showing us his dick and balls So like you knew he'd be dedicated to work when you yeah, I've seen Josh's dick more than I at one point in my life I would say for two summers. I saw his dick and balls more than I saw my own for two summers I I will say this I would say 2015 2016 big big dick and ball summer sides my own That's the next one. That's the next dick that I've seen the most. Yeah balls. Yeah, and let me say Kind of impressive it's kind of not not I remember it. That's what I'm saying
Starting point is 00:17:38 You know, he's not working with you know, like a 12 gauge, but yeah, he's not like, you know He's not knocking down buildings. You wouldn't want him rolling up with that AK. You know exactly you know what I'm saying But thank you Josh. He's not batting third, but he's definitely not batting knife Bingo, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly clean up like someone else we might hear from in a couple minutes It's a heavy hitter there. Yeah, but yeah, so Josh. Thanks Josh. Thanks Josh Josh is just as much as part of this than any but as anybody is I would say to be honest with you He definitely does way more than I do. Yeah, I definitely more than you Now yeah, yeah, a cumulative. I'm gonna try that again
Starting point is 00:18:22 Did I say that right? I don't know that's a word that I can't do a cumulative cumulative. Isn't it a cumulative? Accumulative Accumulative a cumulative a cumulative. There you go. Oh, Jesus. What's going on? Yeah Fucking cheese not cheap. That was a little bit hard a cumulative I love how he said they're like I was it was a great big along for the ride like I think he's done Yeah, yeah, that was resignation. He's out of here. Yeah, he's slipped up. He's gone. He's gone. It's all right Well, ladies and gentlemen next I think he's gonna be a treat for everyone involved. Oh, you know I have been on since last August last July
Starting point is 00:19:03 and before me oh There was an icon of the game that some might say yeah gentlemen who had been on when we hit episode 200. Yep, and You know a man who's claimed to fame is not only singing about titties but having a good old pair of Oh Man, oh man Well, here he is ladies and gentlemen the one that people always want to hear from according to the comment section What did you just say? I mean?
Starting point is 00:19:34 Coming the person that everyone wants to hear from the one the only Danny low Priori boy This is loud What up, bitch Or this episode 300 is some shit. Oh my god, did he do a song roast your ass I've been waiting a long time people been waiting to hear my side of shit First off I suck your dick real fast put it in your ass Maybe lay you down and roll around and grass
Starting point is 00:20:12 You just have a little sex real nice Yeah, maybe once maybe twice. I could suck your shit We can do it hard all over this bitch. Oh, yeah, how you like that 300 episodes You gonna take 300 separate loads And that's how we do it, yeah, that's what's up, uh, motherfucker That's how I do and bitches know I'm coming through with the crew and we gonna have like one or two dudes Have sex with you at the same time. You better like that shit Because you fucking ass is mine
Starting point is 00:20:48 I just realized this is hit them up. Are you like that shit? Isn't it People was like, yo roast Joe. I said easy And everybody else over there to a yo Josh, I'll fuck you too Frankie No, I'm saying Fucking company as crew I have sex with all of you. No, I'm saying Congratulations on 300 episodes
Starting point is 00:21:48 Oh The whole part was electric not listen very unconventional approach there by Danny One of a kind man You really are Oh my god, dude, I think the gist of that is he want to let us know you I think I got it That he wants to fuck our ass and I think he would too We went on a date two days ago. Oh, yeah, how is that didn't result in ass fucking that's for sure You might not have been thinking about it at that point in time. We I don't know
Starting point is 00:22:37 I think he was he almost killed himself on a revel on a revel. You know the scooter bikes Like that like in New York you drive around excuse they can rent you can own them already So we were leaving dinner and he lived not too far from where we went to dinner and he gets on one of them And he goes to take He goes to take off and he gets like 10 feet and then the thing to shut off and locks in place and he almost flipped over the entire thing I have no idea those things aren't those things killing people like left and right. Oh people are going down Bunch of a bunch of people going down. Yeah, you know, I was dying. I fuck well
Starting point is 00:23:19 He almost was too. Yeah, it was he was crushed right into it was like some truck or something But it's hilarious. But yeah, shout out to Danny man. It was there for a hundred episodes. I think just about it Just about a hundred episodes Also part of this to Unfortunately, we weren't able to hear from my flow priori. Yeah, but I know he's a big friend Yes, and fan of the show. We have all said that he is the funniest low Priori Of them all. Sorry Danny, which is saying a lot. Yeah, that's like saying, you know That fucking Tom Brady between Tom Brady Peyton Manning like Tom Brady's better like
Starting point is 00:23:56 Gotta use a better analogy there, you know sports, but My senses congratulations as well. I almost wonder because the Danny's that was raunchy Mike's get a little raunchier. I Assume Mike's oh, like I can't say what's up to Mike without him telling me that he would like Yeah, yeah, it's a very sexual family very sexual family Good kissers What?
Starting point is 00:24:25 Why did you say that? What did you say? What's getting you first the heat or the beer? The heat got me 40 minutes ago Frank I'm dying in here, and I don't know these lights that make sense and also like the laughter in my in my body is Are you liking it so far? Hey, I'm having a good time. You're having a good time Do you want to do the ad now? Oh, yeah, you know what I do the ads now cuz Guys the ads we have it. We have an ad that we need to People can't see but it's Keith. It's Keith. There's a picture of Keith. Yeah, okay
Starting point is 00:25:06 Okay Fuck all right All right today's ad we only have one of them. It's for ultimate ears fits They're the world's most comfortable earbuds premium sound all-day comfort. You get a guaranteed perfect fit in 60 seconds Put them in your ears, and they kind of like morph to your ears Which is a problem I always have because whenever you have earbud like earphones if it's not over the ear And it's just earbuds. I have a lot of trouble with them falling out I don't know if I have like a weird shaped ear or something
Starting point is 00:25:39 But you put these in they have groundbreaking light form technology So it fits and it molds to the unique contours of your ear so it will stay in there So it's good for working out or anything like that You put them in connect to the app and watch the purple LEDs form Form the earbuds to your unique shape Eight hours of continuous playback on a single charge and up to 20 hours with the charging case I don't know what's going on over here, but I feel like something's happening, and I'm scared If you try fits, and you don't love them no worries
Starting point is 00:26:10 It's a 30-day money-back guarantee plus you'll get free shipping free returns for one year warranty I really I'm scared about what's happening over here. I don't know what's going on, but anyway Great earphones like I said they morph to your ear so they're gonna stay in it's actually a really it's a weird feeling to have them in And you feel them like sort of morphing to your ear, but it's it's really good And like I said very clear You know music it's it's amazing For a limited time give 15% off of your pair of ultimate ear fits true wireless earbuds at ue.com Slash fits just use the promo code basement at checkout. That's 15% with promo code basement at
Starting point is 00:26:47 ue.com Slash fits again ue.com slash fits for 20% for 15% off by using the code basement at checkout Yo, that thing is loud as shit. I'm shocked. What did you get that target? They sell that? Oh, yeah, party aisle, baby. Let me get another beer. Oh, yeah Good for you Who was it? Christian that I Think I've drank every day this week. Well, that's all right. I mean when you don't have a job
Starting point is 00:27:25 What are you talking about? I got 300 episodes Do you so do you remember the first episode of the basement yard? I do What was it? What were you talking about? Who was there? It was in my mom's basement. So we started this podcast It was in my mom's basement on a plastic table like Thomas was saying that's where the word basement yard comes from because that's what your Nunna used to call your basement. I didn't have a nunna Both of my grandmoms were grandma By the way both dead
Starting point is 00:27:56 They have died. Yeah, they're soups dead. Yeah, do you have a grandma both dead? Yo, it's my guy mine died first though Pretty sure both of them always got to be better. Wait your grandma died before mine, which well one of them died 2007 That's early, baby. Yeah, the one died in 2013 Yeah, you beat me. Yeah, you're there more dead than my grandma's But yeah, my grandma why am I talking about my No, the basement yard
Starting point is 00:28:23 No, my when we were kids we used to call the basement the basement yard when my mom didn't want us out in the front yard And didn't want to watch us because she was a lazy parent Just kidding roast Got you a bitch Okay, he's celebrating it. Fuck you Liz bitch. I've always wanted to say that No, but uh, yeah, so we called the basement yard. So we started the first one. I did I Didn't know what the fuck we were doing But there was obviously no video or anything was just audio and it was me Keith and your brother-in-law Danny Danny
Starting point is 00:28:55 Wow, yeah, a couple guests appeared says I think he's been on to the first one We talked about someone who had a 19 inch dick. Yeah, I know first episode. I know why he's not been on since yes boy That's a basement yard like golden moment. Let me yeah, I don't know where I I don't know what the episode is but But there was an episode I did with like a bunch of people and he was on and he drank like a whole bottle of Jameson Yeah, and then it wasn't a full giant bottle. I think it was like a smaller bottle
Starting point is 00:29:29 But either way it was a lot of fucking a lot of that he shouldn't have had yeah And we ended up going to a barn. He threw up in it and left your sister was so happy with him He's very upset. She was so happy with him But anyway, he uh, but you could just hear him in the background just like you know, I just make it noises And I was like that was we have like a bunch of people on that day. It was like me you Danny I think boss was there. Yeah, there was a lot of people in the room Yeah, and that was when the podcast was just like a mess. Yeah when it was that's my first ever apartment It was in a basement that one
Starting point is 00:29:59 My fucking god that scared me dude a basement and that fucking happens the basement causes Rumble Yeah, and tidings So, oh my god That's gonna get me every time That's all ladies and gentlemen returning back to the roast We have a man that people truly love and I don't understand exactly why because Doesn't like hugs he certainly gives off creepy vibes with that mustache
Starting point is 00:30:32 The one the only the somehow not having diabetes Keith Sanagato. Oh, baby. Here we go. Let's hear from Keith San Tegado. You good? Yep Well, that's the whole video video see man made a few words few words He's like a painting a poet laureate how they're how they're like, you know You look at a picture and you're like this says a thousand words. Yeah, Keith says five words But it feels like ten million words. Hey Joey go fuck yourself five five words I guessed on that nailed it. Also. I don't know if anyone can really tell But he's wearing a shirt and on the shirt
Starting point is 00:31:27 It's the body of a zebra that leads up to the neck so that his face looks like the face of a zebra Keith by the way not eight years old 31 as of this releasing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, his birthday is tomorrow. Oh turn up. Wow. Happy birthday Keith Yeah, we're going up for his birthday get some new shirts. Oh definitely I'm literally gonna go to the house after this and rip that in half in front of him that and any other billabong shirts He has you can get rid of Lord knows he probably has some he's the love bill. I think it's probably the most requested person we get. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:32:06 I'm on the show Keith's it. Yeah, he's an interesting character, but also he's you know One of the key cogs to my success as well I think in terms of some of the most popular series that I have is he's on it. That's right. What did you say? Oh Mad Libs, that's right, which is just another talking one. They're all talking ones, babe What do you want us to do? You know, I'm gonna tell you one time someone left me a comment or oh my sister
Starting point is 00:32:37 me and Keith made a video and We I sent it in like the group chat like whatever and then she goes this would be funnier if the volume was off how I was like, do I suck that bad shit possible? I don't know but she was like it's just funny to watch Keith is you know Like I remember Jeff Hardy People would use the term the charismatic enigma. That is Keith. Mm-hmm. That is so Keith Yeah, I have known him for as long as I've known you yeah, and I still can't figure him out
Starting point is 00:33:09 I know I can and I don't think anyone I think that's what he wants Yeah, he likes to be a mysterious man of mystery a mysterious man of mystery. That's double mysterious. That's that is very mysterious Yeah, it is well Keith, you know wanted to say congratulations I was honestly shocked that he sent a video in I was like there's no way like this makes sense now Yeah, I like if I like I can't picture Keith taking like a minute and like saying a thing he told me when I asked him he was like it's gonna be tough and Keith so for those of you guys who don't know Keith loves to tell people that he's busy with work Like you don't need to fucking ask I like hey Keith like you don't play video games later
Starting point is 00:33:53 What day because work what day you know, and I'm like well just when you can yeah, you know And that was what I asked him. I was like oh Keith like can you do it? He's like when when do you need to buy and I was like Wednesday the latest and he goes Mondays are tough. I didn't Mondays are tough and I might be you know exaggerating that a little for the sake of comedy, but you know So Keith, thank you so much. Thanks Keith. If you guys want to see Keith on here. Make sure you use the hashtag Keith That's it. That's the last egg. We're not gonna look it up or anything We're not gonna force it just fucking check it out moving on. Oh
Starting point is 00:34:31 My god, I think there are few characters that are born from the show and just the show, right? Keith is always been Keith Keith's Keith's an icon. He became he was a legend growing up You know outside of it. He's a streamer streams on Twitch. Yeah Myself same thing. I've been legendary my whole life But there are few people that have become I Thought you are farting dude. I was gonna be like what? Okay, go ahead. There are a few people that have become popular as much as Ryan Lynch And I mean, what can I say about this man that has not been said about every other fat fucking piece of shit from New Jersey?
Starting point is 00:35:21 He's wearing a vineyard vines t-shirt, of course and he is Also kind of a fashionista. He's a bit of a fashionista. Yeah, he is He also when we went out for your bachelor party. He wore that one button up. That was pretty You know intense didn't not something that I could wear It was just a brown button up with like a cowboy riding a horse or something on it. Oh, yes Like mountains. Yes, that way it was like a mountain scape with like a single stallion on it Yeah, it looked like a picture that would be hanging in a like a motel
Starting point is 00:35:54 Yeah, but it was on his shirt. It was certainly on his shirt and I have to admit Little jealous of it. He pulled it off. I also went with the tuck the blue jeans tucked it into jeans Tuck it right into blue. He was feeling and we also at the end of the night We shut basically as the bar shut down. Were you there when we started? Ryan Lynch for president chant. I'm pretty sure I was face down. You were not there that night. Yes That was the last night. Well, whether he's pretending He has a future in the radio industry or pretending that people are laughing with him and not at him ladies and gentlemen Ryan Lynch
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm so excited to be here tonight roasting the great Joe Santagato the podcast host with the most There's a clothing with his own name on it. It's like we get it Joe Just because your mom had to write your name in your underwear doesn't mean Every t-shirt sweatshirt short sweatpants socks hat that you can find You know, I actually heard they were interested in making the Santagato Studios thumbs They even released a few prototype, but I kept getting bought up by old men It's interesting Making videos for old weird men and now ten years later
Starting point is 00:37:14 He's an old weird man on the internet making videos for little kids full circle. He's done it. Yeah, you've really done it You know The pause he's like well Why is he in slow mo okay, I gotta back out back it back You don't know this Joe was actually one of the first people don't have Kobe Hasn't had taste in over six years Really excited to hear what some of the other rosters have to say tonight Maybe this will be the first time Frank makes someone other than Joe laugh
Starting point is 00:38:04 Oh, I guess it's pretty incredible all the success you've had I mean you built this entire empire of being the second funniest person on all of your shows So not everything Joe's done has turned out to be a success but wingtel mobile It's actually the fastest growing cell phone provider amongst drug dealers and human traffickers You've never heard of us and that's the point I Okay, right 20 20, I mean what can you say? What can you say
Starting point is 00:38:43 Stop oh man some great points there. He did he truly did that was funny I mean, you know the guys got a point guys got points You you did start off as a young boy making videos for probably old men that I don't know and a lot of young girls That at that point and then you're not for them. That was a byproduct of oh, yeah I'm sure you really was it wasn't making videos about fucking blues clues and Justin Bieber. I Wasn't doing that shit We were making videos about fucking sluts That's not for young girls Frank
Starting point is 00:39:21 No, what are the first videos I remember being in with you was we did a video of me saying Harry Potter In 10 different ways. Yeah I got I got made fun of that. I know I'm on my college campus. Was he making fun of you? No No, he was I didn't know him at that point in time. Okay. He was still just a you know, bright-eyed young virgin You know living elsewhere now. What is he a? Big mustache old version and like with dull eyes Fucking glassy eyes. Yeah, man, Ryan Lynch, man. Thank you so much for being on appreciate you the first And last time you're getting Lynch on this
Starting point is 00:40:00 Yeah, honestly having Lynch on would would probably be fun. He's moving back up to the Northeast apparently I know we're gonna you guys are gonna be seeing more of Lynch. That's for certain better for worse Let me tell you yeah, like on my Instagram probably we're gonna remember when we went out to a bar in Connecticut We made him give a speech Yeah, that was a karaoke bar. What no, this was a regular bar with like a quiet out like a backyard outdoor place The ducks in the dress. Yes. Yes, the rubber ducky drinks and we were like, yo, just give a speech He was like, okay If if peer pressure had legs and a mustache and was overweight
Starting point is 00:40:36 It would be Ryan Ryan crushing it. Well, RIP actually this is probably last will ever see of Tennessee Ryan Nashville Ryan. That's true. Nashville Ryan RIP. Yeah, which he's coming back up to the Northeast now. He's now he's Manhattan Ryan Wow, what is he living in Manhattan or is he gonna be living in Jersey? He's gonna be living in Manhattan. That's dangerous. Yeah, that's dangerous. It's gonna take over. I said, oh Fucking boy. Well, ladies and gentlemen four and a half video four and a half minute video coming next four and a half minutes. I Don't know if I'm prepared for this. I know he he had a couple drinks this one. I'm this one I'm worried about he had a couple drinks before he did this so wait. When did he send you this late last night? Oh Boy, well ladies and gentlemen, was that with him yesterday? I think you were he's an icon that has often spoke about
Starting point is 00:41:22 On the basement yard for his incredibly small penis, but big ego Sorry, I think he messed that I mix it up. I mix it up. That's supposed to be incredibly big penis and small ego Yes, we play. I think he messed that up as well We will hear from a man later that openly sucks dick, but now let's hear from one that will That will forever do it while hiding in his craft beer shirt filled closet As looks apparently run in the family is clear that brains don't Are next presenter of the night the one the only smoky Pete smoky Pete So Frank told me that the 300th episode of the base me I was coming up and that you guys wanted to be roasted for it
Starting point is 00:42:05 Oh, no great be more arrogant So when Frank desperately texting me for content, I checked and I don't follow the base me on an Instagram Which is amazing and I went to do it because I was like, oh, you know, let me You know do my friends a favor and checked out the thumbnails and the captions and immediately thought I am way too good for this Hundreds of thousands of people disagree with me. So this is where I this Oh my This gets hammered. So I'll start with Frank who obviously pulls the majority of the weight on the show And has it physically
Starting point is 00:42:44 First encounter with Frank was in college. We went to UNH not the real one and DM me on Facebook saying yo, where all the parties at that's true Immediately I deleted it and went back to continuing my life without him existing in it, which was phenomenal But to go back to some main points with him Frank lives in southern, New Jersey It's Frank you have on multiple times told me that you have the most fuckable body out of all of our friends I do. No, you don't we know what you look like
Starting point is 00:43:16 I don't think it was like a part of that just according to LinkedIn. You've worked at Target Forever your entire adult life You still defend your hair from 2017 it was terrible it was great terrible You're responsible for multiple lives at this point and you're still way way way too into the WWE So I know I'm supposed to typically you know and arose with something positive and like hey ma'am like you're doing great I appreciate you everything's awesome Where do I go from here? You're an adequate father it appears so
Starting point is 00:43:59 Cheers to Frank I'm nervous now So anyway to go on a jelly You've come a really long way from being a weird creepy nine-year-old that I didn't want to be around and actively didn't like Now I can have those opinions from the passenger seat of your 2021 Black Range Rover Sport refrigerator in it that you have been just Monstrously humbled out like you've only been more humble about all your merch. It's just as painted in your last name Again super appreciated we all love it
Starting point is 00:44:36 And this is tough because I kept thinking how do I make fun of the third wealthiest person of our friend? One thing I was really glad you got into fitness and got a whoop that really like I was like awesome Let's fucking do this. I love it So now every time your heart beats just one extra beat per month You can go to the doctor get tested for colon cancer diphtheria Everything else that you feel like is probably wrong with your body It's also been very fun watching you egregiously spend money by geos and securities and No one knows more about deep-seating securities than someone who reads all the books on the planet that you are very very public about
Starting point is 00:45:20 This one actually I'd see a Christmas and like our moms are friends and all that But it's been super incredible watching both this brand of what it is I remember, you know, whatever it was eight nine ten years ago when you were just starting getting traction me being like hey Maybe he's on to something and then now having friends from high school college Reach out see on the streets, whatever maybe being like hey, your cousin's hysterical. He's doing great. I'm like, yeah, man I absolutely disagree, but it's much appreciated What you've created is honestly phenomenal and I always always look forward to what's next in your plans because
Starting point is 00:45:58 again, you're just Incredibly cold-driven person and you motivate me to be better in all those ways. It's just it's been really really fun to watch So anyway, it's a little bit late on a Wednesday And I got to go to bed because I have a real job and I'm just talk about Ghost penis is on the internet So it's been fun later guys. Oh my god Ladies and gentlemen drop in the mic smoke you pee honestly fuck this kid Yeah, well, why are we friends with him? You have to be because your parents are related but like
Starting point is 00:46:33 He's doing a really good job a four-minute roast that was like now I wasn't falling asleep and add some sense of humor to his yeah repertoire. Yeah, which is dangerous Yeah, fuck off though because his personality has always been at C plus at best Honestly, though I think it's mostly because he wrote it down because hat had he like this doesn't shine through like On a day-to-day that took you guys look I don't want to get your hopes up All right, you're gonna meet Pete one day and you're gonna be like this kid's like cool
Starting point is 00:46:58 But like not the same person first of all, he's five foot four I just want to make sure I actually a lot of people don't realize his muscles are over-competitive for the fact that he's fucking tiny He's gonna be so mad you said he's five four well, I mean had that but you find pinches though I mean, I'll give him five five. Maybe no, no, no. What is he though? I've spent a lot of time with him. I'm telling you he's five five. Okay. Yeah I don't think so. I think he is. I don't know and anyway, just the personality you saw there Really really did a good job with the writing. You know, he's got a future in that Maybe hire him. Yeah, you could be out of a job. Well, hold on now
Starting point is 00:47:43 I know if if you would never put someone in the show that was better looking than you Oh Man, why not? Because but then I get to be like the fucking, you know, I get to be self-deprecating I mean, even though I am I say I don't think that you you have to stretch too much to be there. Really? Yeah, I do Jesus Christ I'm really shocked that Pete Pete's been on the Podcasts once or twice. Has he well, we argued he was in he was in a video
Starting point is 00:48:17 He was on an episode because we argued like food with him or cereals with him. That's right That was at the Long Island City apartment. Wow. Yeah, that was some time ago. That was that was wow 25 foot ceilings They were 12 no parking. That's true. That place was cool, but sucked. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep I I couldn't stand up in your bedroom It had a slanted roof it was that's because I used the the master bedroom of the house for The studio really that's the master the brick wall room. Mm-hmm. That's stupid. It's the biggest room in the house Yeah, but the master bedroom is supposed to have a bathroom and that's what the one that you did take had. Oh Yeah, no, that was like an attic space that they turned into
Starting point is 00:49:00 Whatever either way I can tell you that when you went to your next place Getting to you was so much fucking easier. Yeah, and this is this is that was really really surprised I'm impressed. Thank you. Got it. Where's the me though? He at least said nice, but he's been waiting he he he Clammers for the opportunity to roast me big time. I stand by I think I do have the most fuckable like I think I'm I am Overall the most fuckable of all of our friends. Mm-hmm. As you say that the sign comes down The sign that says you did it Came down. It's like, no, we're not doing that
Starting point is 00:49:37 It's fucking It's a great example of what's happening here. It's really showing how everything is going exactly. So, um, where are we for time? All right, 50 minutes. We're fine. We got one more person. We got to hear from we're good And you know, I did say that we were gonna hear from someone that openly sex dick. Mm-hmm, or does he oh, I haven't seen it I haven't seen I would hope. Yeah, I don't know but A friend of the show and that is Pat McCullough. Did I say that right? I don't know his name is barstil Pat barstil Pat From the out and about formally known as gay Pat formally known as gay Pat, but you know PC That's right. I don't want to ever he's more than just gay. He's also unfunny
Starting point is 00:50:27 No, but Pat used to be called gay Pat Barstil which and then they figured out about Dave Portnoy doing what? Stuff, you don't get that far up the chain without you know, oh You think he's touching them, you know, you think you can't I don't know. I don't know either of them I know yeah, that's a really nice fucking funny guy And he wanted to send something the last person we will be hearing from before we The myth the legend himself so ladies and gentlemen barstil Pat as he commonly refers to himself Joe
Starting point is 00:51:02 my king Congratulations on 300 episodes When we first met on grinder a couple of years I Didn't know what you stood for. I didn't know what your job was. I'd like to you just For you and that was the start of our relationship together our gay relationship together. Oh, here we go Take relationship together. That's right. I'm involved into a beautiful thing. You know, we've had appearances on each other's shows I've been on with you and Frank with you and Danny you've come over to my place sometimes late at night sometimes in the morning
Starting point is 00:51:35 Sometimes you've come into the office You've come a lot and we've done it together. It's been a wonderful Beautiful thing that we've shared so I'm sending this video to you right now just to say thank you Not only for being a friend But for being a lover and one that I will ever Ever forget so Joe Here's to 300 episodes and here's to many more days and even many more nights together. I love you Congratulations. Cheers to the next 300
Starting point is 00:52:14 Wow, that's amazing Ironically, that's that looks like a freeze frame from like a a racist Karen video. Yes 100% You know all you need to do is just insert a couple racial slurs in this picture and it'll pop up. It fits Yeah, what happened to him there? Did he have a little I don't know what he was talking about He had a little like butterfly stitch or something. He may have punched might have gotten punched I don't know that you know, I don't know what year it is, but I know that used to happen Who's the certain who's the current Apple guy Tim cook Tim cook? Yeah, they pulled grinder off the app store. Did they why too much sex? You know big it's big it's, you know, how dare that. Yeah, but Pat good friend of the show. Yeah, Pat's great
Starting point is 00:52:56 He let me use his grinder account actually did he yeah, and it's what you can you can search Ungrinder based upon like body type. Oh, so like hunky hairy like there's no like you want to talk about like PC culture and like We need to be accepting of whatever like within the gay culture It's like you have a thing about you like you're a cub you're a otter Yeah, you're a you're an like a jock. Yeah, or you're just average or you're a twink and you can search just for that Oh, so I can like go in there and be like yo, hello. My name is Frank. I'm a twinkie twank Well, you can't be a to you're not you have to be I think I'm a twunk. I Don't I think I'm a twunk. I think you're more of like a like a cub
Starting point is 00:53:40 Why why would you say that because you're you got some stuff to you and you got a little hair That's why a twinkie. No, you're not twink. Oh hunky a hunky twink. That's a twunk. No, I think I am he told me I was a twunk you can't be a twunk. Should we call him and ask him? No, he's already told me Should I ask him? I'll text him right now. No, don't no, no, no, don't don't no You're not a twink. I hate to break it to you a twink is like a little like teenage like little like He looks like a teenager kind of Pat. No, like I'm saying like someone who's like 25 But they're like super skinny and like, you know a little like I guess that I don't know I can't believe Pat said it in a video. That's fucking amazing. It's fucking hysterical. Oh, man. So thank you Pat
Starting point is 00:54:24 Well, ladies and gentlemen, I Now get the pleasure of introducing everyone's favorite youtuber when they got their first puke mr. Joe Uh Joe and I and some of you guys know most of you guys probably know Sorry, you almost died. I guess we've known each other for 25 years almost came to an end Which means I have been endlessly living in his shadow for a quarter of a century now A lot of people don't realize that the Joe that we see here on the basement yard or on other people's lives the other show that you do Currently hosts with Greg Dybeck Not the same person you are in real life
Starting point is 00:55:00 On air your brash, you're know-it-all your virtue signal you gaslight I've never been right about anything and Actually, you know that does sound kind of a lot. Yeah. Yeah in real life The fruits of Joey's labor were planted the seeds very very early on in his life See as kids we would come up with hilarious ideas and then He would exploit his attention seeking friend me and make an idiot out of himself for everyone else's entertainment Seems like not much has changed very Jeffrey Bezos of you. Oh, which you're on your way We believed you were we believe we were really funny at a very very early age and we were right
Starting point is 00:55:41 You know, at least you were according to the comment section people are still figuring out if I'm funny or not When he started making videos you were living this outlandish fantasy that we wish we could have been doing together But honestly, I didn't see the longevity in it as I went to become a whore for the collegiate sewer of our country You honed your craft You put in time you really researched what people what people love And I mean what why else would you have made 16 videos about the people of Walmart? You know Joe you often talk about how much you idolized Chris Farley growing up But even I wish you would have followed through on that more because even Farley knew when I go out when he was on top
Starting point is 00:56:24 Oh my god All these years later here you are just standing on top of this conglomerate that you have created You're not only a personality in front of the camera But working behind the camera to suck up the talents of others like some vampire gasping for their last breath And you put your name on everything I mean the only next logical move is to run for president and I'm sure we could find a video of you saying grab someone by The pussy if we look hard enough Well, hopefully the next time you slap Sanagato on something it's a dildo so you can fuck someone else for a change
Starting point is 00:57:03 Lately you've been expressing your discomfort with social media Which is so funny because not only have you literally built an empire off it, but you are the most basic bitch I've ever met. I mean you can't read a book walk a mile or do anything without bragging about every page and every step You bought a Rolex with blood money And we're able to show it off without anyone questioning where it came for But seriously Joey 300 episodes of the baseman yard In the time that I've known you you are not only the funniest person, but one of the kindest in front and behind the camera You are my best friend. I will chair her
Starting point is 00:57:40 forever cherish our friendship And I am the happiest person in the world to be your friend your only friend and nobody else Well ladies and gentlemen Without further ado I Give to you the man the one the only Joe Sanagato That didn't not work I
Starting point is 00:58:25 Fucking piece of where'd you buy it? We're covered in money here. Well say something Joey on 300 episodes of the baseman yard. Let the people know well, usually usually on these episodes are on roasts or whatever the you roast the everyone who's roasted you but I'm not gonna do that Because I don't have anything prepared, but had I had anything prepared It would be bedtime for you all
Starting point is 00:58:57 but No, I just want to say that What are we doing? 300 episodes is kind of crazy. I didn't know that I would be doing this for that long I mean I started the podcast as like a side to business kind of thing It just seemed like a logical step and it was a lot of fun to be able to Hear yourself through headphones. You ever like talking to a microphone and hear yourself on headphones for the first time I hate it. I really it's so much like I hate what I sound like so much
Starting point is 00:59:27 I know that people don't like their voice, but I think talking into a microphone and listening to it. It's there it is Nailed it I Think hearing it for the first time you're like this is fun. You got me a card. Yes Success can I is there something written in it? Yeah, is there money in it? No Okay Joe Success isn't what you drive although a Range Rover helps It's where you're going Miami, Colorado Fire Island
Starting point is 01:00:05 It's how you see yourself it definitely is It's not about who who you know It's about who you are and then you wrote Wow and By definite and you are by definition by every definition of the word a success Congratulations graduate 300 this is what you wrote now 300 Wow Thanks for the laughs and the painful realization that the American collegiate system is pointless Love facts to and then you drew a smiley face with dollar sign eyes
Starting point is 01:00:38 That's what I used to that was my tag in sixth grade. No, it wasn't that one Yeah, I used to write it on my middle school Like in marker like on the school like a side of the school places on it like in the hallway. Yeah desks That's awesome, dude. So I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been supporting the show You know, there's a lot of things that I'm currently working on that I Hope everyone enjoys but 300 episodes of the base me yard I fucking love the show and you know, I mean I've talked about it before in episodes where I was like doing videos for a very long time and then I was like
Starting point is 01:01:16 Oh, man, I don't know how I feel about this. So I stopped doing it But this just feels like something that I could do for the rest of my life It's a lot of fun just talking and just shooting the shit especially with you know This fucking asshole sitting next to me where me and Frankie when we were younger would always talk about Doing like SNL or being on some show like Entertaining people so the fact that we get to do it now. It's just like a lot of fun But yeah, so I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. This is fucking incredibly hilarious to me It ain't never gonna stop
Starting point is 01:01:55 That's all I got to say ladies and gentlemen go check out the patreon Sanagato studios we got some great stuff coming at you other people's lives. We love you to another 300 ladies and gents. Thank you Getting what's that called copyright demonetized 100% shut down watch of all you can ladies and gents see you guys next time

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