The Basement Yard - #315 - How To Escape From The FBI

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

Frank & Joe figure out how to EASILY evade the FBI. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Now that's everywhere. Oh, wow. Oh, great, hold on. I gotta sneeze. No, it's going away. Oh, yeah. Wait.

Nevermind, it's going away. Okay. Oh, I made a mess in here, Joey. You have two bowls of old food on that desk. Ha, ha, ha. I do, I do, I do. You have garbage right there. That's not garbage.

It's batteries. Loose batteries. Yeah, loose batteries. Paper all over the floor, a broken lamp over there that looks like it's from my grandmother's job. Well, I actually bought that lamp as like a vintage old looking lamp, and then I shattered it.

Did a good job with one part of those things. Yeah. Broken. I'd like to break a lot of things, honestly, take one of those shards and maybe just jab and right into my fucking eye because of the day I had today. Oh, yeah.

I literally fucking, yo, I had to go to B&H, which is a camera store. Not butts and holes. Not butts, not. Not butts and holes. I had to go to butts and holes. But I had to go to B&H. It's a camera store

because I needed a fucking charger for this fucking camera that I had. The camera store still exists? This one. It's like the one to go. I mean, apparently not. You had quite the day. I'd like to dig it up.

Where is it? And fuck it, it's on 9th Avenue in the city. Okay, that's a long avenue. Well, like, and like, so like 50 something, I think? That sucks. That's a bad spot to drive through. For those of you guys that aren't from New York City, anything within like the 30s to 50s

in any avenue, just stay away from. It's terrible. It's the worst place in the world. But I had to get it. I went to Best Buy, but all the fucking nerds are lined up getting PS5s. This one was one of them. I wasn't at Best Buy, you son of a bitch.

I was at GameStop, somehow less nerdy. But yeah, so I was like, all right, fuck this. I'll just go to B&H. So I did therapy because I had therapy from 11 to 12. That's right. And I told my therapist, I'm like, I'm just gonna take this from the car.

I have to go do this thing. Like whatever, it's gonna take me an hour to get to the car. So I was doing my therapy session on the way there, big mistake. Yeah, Joey, take it. I'm in fucking traffic on the BQE. And I'm like trying to talk to this guy, but also I'm like, I'm gonna fucking.

Why are you driving the BQE to get there? I was on the BQE for a little bit, but then I had to get for the tunnel. Midtown, that sucks. Let me tell you, there's no worse time to be doing fucking therapy than in New York traffic because I sit in the traffic a lot for work. It's ridiculous.

You think of the worst things that you can do to everything around you? Dude, I literally at a certain point, and I was texting you and telling you this, I was like almost about to kill a biker on purpose. Bro, I just wanna hit someone. I just wanna hit someone with my car. If there is an accident, I actively catch myself,

and I feel bad saying this. I actively catch myself saying like, someone better be dead. Oh my God. Someone, if they're causing this much fucking traffic, I need a broken something. Yeah. You know, like I can't, it can't be

because the thing that's tough about all these- Fender, bender, like, all these roadways in New York have no shoulder. So the minute something happens, you lose a lane. Yeah, it's a wrap. At least one lane. And then you have to worry, it's just, it's so fucking miserable.

I know I'm working, I'm talking about general traffic patterns. They're probably like this everywhere, but New York is ten times worse. Yeah. Because we say so. Exactly. No, but so I go to B&H, right?

Mind you, I have a system when I go here because you can order online and then pick it up in the store at the same day. So I ordered whatever I needed, and then I drove into the city, and usually there's like a fire hydrant on like a side street right next to it that I usually always put my car in

because you're never in there for more than three minutes. In and out. In and out. So I get on, first of all, I walk in and I'm like, great. It's fucking Duncan's toy chest in there. Who's Duncan and where's his toy chest? It's fucking Home Alone 2, Frank. Keep up.

Wow, sticky bandits. Yeah, the sticky band- Well, that- Yes, yes, it is a sticky band. Yeah, it was a wet in the first one. Wet guys in the first one, then they got sticky. Yeah, wet and sticky. Jerking off.

Yeah. I found it. Well, there you go, it's a correlation. But it was packed and there were so many people. Then I get to the front where I finally get to like, you know, fucking, be like, all right, yeah, I ordered this thing online, like whatever. And they go, okay, she's like, I just gotta find it.

Already, I'm like, find, what are we talking about? I ordered a thing, is this not a store? Then she takes this ticket. There's gotta be a cubby for you. Bro, there- Cubbies are only cool in kindergarten. And then when you're an adult, trying to like, buy something from stores,

you need your own cubby. It literally looked like the scene from how the Grinch stole Christmas, like the post office, where there's this shit everywhere where people are throwing things. And he's like, oh, Phil, he's got a big stamp. And he's stamping shit.

That's a good scene, that's a good scene. Dude, and I was like, okay. Poor Grinch, only his cobwebs in his fucking mailbox. They're fucking, they're running around trying to find this fucking package, doing this and that. And I'm like, oh my God. So I'm there.

I was literally at this thing for 40 minutes. The lady came up to the register four different times ago. We're trying to find it. And I'm like, is this a store? Is this a store? Yeah, from someone that- I literally was there for 40 minutes.

I'm not exaggerating, 40. Bro, I can tell you, remember me? Target, Target Frank. I remember when we would get online orders, I swear to God, because everything with Target is a metric. Every single thing. It's like, yo, how fast you feel the order?

How fucking any you miss and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you need to be over a certain number to be like in the green, they would say. Bro, when an online order would come, it was like, everyone drop what the fuck you're doing right now and fill this shit. It was so fucking big. They have a separate whole, like registered,

like have like 12 registers just for web orders, because that's what mostly what people do. Yeah, I assume so, yeah. And they have like 20 other ones for people who are buying in the store. So it's like, they have a whole system. They have a fucking thing that goes above your head and your packages are flying over your head.

That's kind of cool. Yeah, it was really kind of cool. So this girl that couldn't find your order, she little bitch. No, she just like kept coming up to me and be like, we don't know where it is. And I'm like, okay. I heard an urban twang there, Joey, get racist.

Go ahead. I did not do an urban twang. You heard it ladies and gentlemen, you heard it. She was Puerto Rican. No, she was. She might have been. She might have been, I don't know. But she was like, yeah, we just,

we're trying to find it. And then she's like, oh, he's gonna help me find it. This kid's running around. He's got eight receipts. And he's like, oh, we're all gonna try and find it. And I'm like, what is this witch hunt? Just go to the, like, what are we doing? And then, and then at the end, she just goes,

by the way, my whole time, my car is in a hydrant. Hydrant, by the way. So I'm going like, I'm gonna kill a bird right now. So she, then she finds it. And she goes, oh, it was right here. And I was like, give it to me now. And leave me, yeah. I was like, can I leave?

Oh, you were a grabber? I didn't grab it out of right here. You were a grabber. I definitely, she put it down and I snatched it. And I was like, can I go? You're a snatcher? I snatched. Snatch is worse than grab.

No, grab it. Well, I didn't snatch it out of her hand. That would be crazy. Well, then don't say you're a snatcher. You grabbed it out of her hand. I snatched it off of the counter. Oh, oh, with the quick, with the ferocity. Whipped it into my chest.

I was like, thank you. You also had to get back to that car. But listen, no one's gonna take it a car that's a Range Rover because, you know, you high end elite are fucking running the world. Really? I feel like that. If my niece on Altima was parked there, that shit would have been torched.

It would have been on bricks at this point. I feel like I would be more inclined as a repo man to be like, I'm fucking sitting on this porch to hell. No, they don't give a fuck what your car looks like. They just care about, you know, if you had a pair of like fat cheeks, you walked out there and they'd be like, all right, I'm gonna tow this so they can get your attention.

It's funny you say that because you know there's repo porn. Did I tell you this? No, the only repo I know is, I don't know if you remember. TV show? No. I remember there was a TV show where the woman

like fell out of a fucking parking garage, but yeah. It was definitely fake. It was like in Miami. Do you remember back in like 2007, it was like, it was called like repo, the genetic opera. And it was like Paris Hilton singing like, oh fuck, fuck, oh yeah. No, what?

Yeah, it was wild. I have to show you. Wait, Paris Hilton did an opera? It was, it was not, it was like a movie. It was called repo, the genetic opera. I remember it because my fucking girlfriend at the time was like super into it. And her cousin, who she swore was not gay, who I think yes,

was super, super into it too. But repo porn? Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's repo porn. So what is it? Like, oh, I have your Honda Civic on, you know, the truck on the bed. You better get over here and, you know, what do you want for it?

Yeah. I saw a good one too, once. I saw, it was a good one. What? The girl was a nurse. Is there any porn you've not seen? Wait, a nurse got her car towed? That's just fucked up.

Yeah. You don't tow and, you know, those are our heroes. Yeah, well now. Well, fuck. This was before COVID. Before COVID. This was years ago that I saw this video. Gotcha, gotcha.

But her car was getting repo'd and she's like, come on, I'll give you money. He's like, nah, nah, nah. And then eventually they settle on sucking and bugging. Sucking and fuck. Yeah, so. And that's exactly what she did. I mean, the bank isn't gonna accept that

because the bank is repoing the car. What are they gonna say? Hey. Yeah. Got to suck and fuck. For a girl who was getting her car towed, very enthusiastic. I bet.

Yeah. Apparently these repo- Lot of energy. It was probably before her shift because she had a lot of energy. Well, speaking of repo, guess who's back, baby? Back in full force.

Dog, the motherfucking bounty hunter. Oh yeah, he's looking for that guy. He's looking for Brian Laundry. Is that his actual last name? Laundry? Laundry? I'm possibly saying it. We're going Laundry anyway.

I mean, he... What a crazy story. We actually never talked about that. We never talked about Gabby Petito. Yeah, Gabby Petito who, when, they went on like a road trip and then this guy fucking killed her. Well, I mean, let's be careful.

We don't want him to slam the long, schlong of the law onto us. Why? I'm definitely comfortable saying this dude fucking killed her. Oh yeah. No, he did. He's like, oh, I didn't kill her.

I just came home. Got a new phone, tried to get away from her. Also assaulted her. Lawyered up, didn't talk to police. Usually you get a lawyer to talk to the police. And then went on a vacation with my family, disappeared. I went back. They didn't report me missing.

My last name's Laundry. Come on. Well, yeah. I mean, you got to clean that. Oh my God. It's written. This book is written already. It's written in the same.

I mean, I will say, I will say. And don't get me started because we'll get back in A Dog the Bounty Hunter as we should. Yes. My opinion, not a coincidence that the country is obsessed over this case. We as Americans are obsessed with true crime stuff. Yeah.

Well, also, but yeah. I mean, yeah. It just like. Bro, making a murderer dope. Obsessed. And you watch that? Of course I watch making a murderer. Do you think he did it?

I don't know. I really don't. You were about to give me an answer. I was going to. I don't think he did. I like to imagine that the whole cop system is just like. Yeah. Well, you know, like small town cops, I love the.

I love the. Well, I know. I mean, all I'm going to say before we get back into that is not a surprise that a white man from an affluent family is treated so he can fucking basically run away after every sign points to the fact that he might have something to do with it. Just want to say that.

Just want to say that. Why do you always have to do that? Oh, you mean what? Point out the fucking giant elephant in the room? Freaky, what did they have to go off of? Back to Dog the Bounty Hunter, please. This is ridiculous. Back to Dog the Bounty Hunter.

You love doing this when it's not even an app. It doesn't even apply. Oh, how do you know? Because you're fucking more and he got back and disappeared. He was gone by the time they fucking found out. What I'm saying, though, is that you wonder if these were involving people of color, if they would be given the leeway that this man was given.

What leeway was he given? That's my point. He basically, they talked to him before he disappeared. She was there with him. Yeah, and he fucking, and he admitted to assaulting her. She assaulted him. Do you think people like that get out, Scott Free? Regardless of who did what, I'm just saying,

it's not like it's a little more alert. Like, hey, if these two just beat the shit out of each other and they're going to Yellowstone Park, maybe be a little more fucking hands-on with this fucking situation. Yellowstone. You know? I mean, I agree.

I mean, there was some sort of domestic thing that had happened who hit who. I don't even really know that, but I know that they were together in that moment and they talked to the police. It's not like they were like, white man, let him run. And it's like, oh, your girlfriend's missing? Have a good time.

Obviously for hyperbole. I know that that's not the situation. Hyperbole. But I will tell you what, he's in big time fucking trouble. He's got a fat problem. Oh boy, it's a fat, mulleted problem. He's got an obese issue. And it is dog, the motherfucking bounty hunter.

There's, listen, you got a big fat problem and he's got a big fat dog after him. And it's got a braid. He's got like a single braid in his hair. And does he carry guns? I think, because he lives in Florida, which you can do anything you like. Whatever you want, yeah.

And I think he has to carry at least one gun. Also, this is going to sound like a stupid question, but I'm like, what is a bounty hunter? Like I do know what they do, but like. So a bounty hunter is basically exactly what he's doing is like they will. Find missing people. There will be bounties placed on people's heads.

Like, yo, $30,000 if anyone gives us information leading to the arrest of Joe Sanagato. So I'll be like, no fucking problem. I'm going to go find Joe and I'm going to bring him back to you. Nice. And they literally. It's like the rundown, that movie.

Yes. Yeah, basically, you've never seen or, first of all, you've never played Red Dead Redemption? I have. Okay. Yeah, but this is, we're talking about horses and shit. Bro, there was a game show years ago where it was like, you have to survive.

You have to make it to a place in 60 days and not get caught by a bounty hunter and you win like a million dollars. What the fuck? Yeah. It's fucking wild shit. I wonder, like, I would like to test that. I think I would be.

Do you think that would be a good business? Like a good service? Like, you know what they have like escape rooms or whatever? Oh yeah. What if they were like, you pay us $250 and you have to try and get away for the, you have like a week to like try and evade a bounty hunter. But then what happens?

Like, do you get, like, if you pay $250 and you get caught, you get nothing and like you don't get caught, you get like $1,000? No, you just pay. You just pay to play. That's not cool. That's awesome. I mean, kind of.

Dude, I would be like, yo, if you pay $250, if you make it, you get a hundred, you know, $1,000. If you don't make it, you just lose a $250. I think that would be fucking cool. Start it up. This is my idea. Don't get it on this, Greg. No, I think.

I'd love to get in on my ideas. I would, oh yeah, all of them. All the fucking, all the ideas. Both of my ideas. I would pay for the bounty hunter thing. I would. $250 to see if I could evade a bounty hunter, dude. I mean, that, you would have to give up a week of your life.

You know, a week of your real busy schedule, Joe. Yeah. I guess so. But like, I honestly think like I could get away, but this motherfucker dog is on the case, like wide on rice, dude. He sniffed and apparently like, he's like, yo, I have him. Like give me like a week.

Stop. You didn't see this? No. Bro. There was an interview. Apparently dog, he might just be self promoting because he wants the world to forget about the fact that he used the N word.

Did he? Yeah. But like, he is like, there. Like dog is like, yo, by the way, this guy looks like he did every bit of cocaine that's ever existed. And a lot of this. I collect retro games and toys.

He does collect all cocaine. Right. And he's like, I got this motherfucker. He's like, yo, give me like a couple days and he's back. I literally will do anything. Bro, I saw some tweet and it was like, if dog the bounty hunter catches this motherfucker, I'm never paying taxes again.

Yeah. But it's fucking true. Because like, I think that, do you have the FBI, if dog beats you, you better not let him. Well, to the FBI's defense, they have to jump through a lot more. You're defending big FBI.

Big FBI? Big government? Yeah. How dare you? Me and Comey? Like this. Oh, wow. Okay.

They have to jump through like hoops. They can't just like go and like on the, they have to like subpoena records. They get court orders. And bounty hunters don't? Bro, bounty hunters will be like, yo, like they, I know they have to go through a process too, but my understanding is that it's not as fucking tumultuous

as going through like the legal system. Like the FBI needs to create like a fucking like fool proof. Like if I'm dog the bounty hunter, I can just follow this motherfucker and just say I found him and then bring him back. That's kind of cool. Isn't it? Bro, he's gonna.

I hope I would do anything for that to happen. All right. So you're trying to escape and evade for a week. Yeah. Walk me through. How you, how are you setting up? What are you doing? Where you going?

Immediately, right? Yeah. I steal it. I'm gonna be a bounty hunter. I'm gonna be dog. All right. Let me just get my, I buy, I'm racist.

I buy a, okay. I buy a car from like a junkyard for like $250. Okay. You know what I mean? But I take the, I change the fucking plates. Okay. Put phony plates on. Okay.

I throw my fucking phone into a river. Gone. Or I buy another, I buy two phones. Right? No, I have my phone. I buy another phone. You're already all over the place. I buy another phone, right?

I buy it with my credit card on purpose cause I want them to be able to track that. And then I put that, that phone somewhere. On a train. And then I, yep. Just let it go the other way. I put it on the L I double R, send it out to mom talk.

And then I take the other one and I throw it in an Uber, right? And I go drive this car to fucking Florida, you bitch. And then he takes off. How you paying for the Uber? Oh yeah. I give it, you know what it is? I just give him, I give him like.

Roll of cash. I give him $600 and I go, go. That's all I really say. I say, just go. Yeah, I gotcha. And that's it, he goes, right? Then I ditch, I have no phone now. Nothing on you.

You know what I mean? I rip up my credit cards, it's a wrap. But before this, to be prepared, I print out a bunch of cash. I don't know why I said print out. Yeah, who are you printing this out from? Chase Bank. Okay.

I asked them for some money. Pull out a bunch of money, that's suspicious. What's he doing? Running. You're running. I don't know. So I take the money and I start going. You know, and I head towards Pennsylvania.

Oh, you're going into the boondocks. Well, it's the woods. Well, some of it, some of it's literally the open. Yeah, but now I'm in this shit car. I'm driving, I grow a mustache. Maybe I stop at a gas station, I bleach my hair. Oh, you're going, so you're basically just reliving gone girl.

Yeah, with less blood. Oh, you're not doing the blood thing? I don't want to kill a famous actor. Well, she killed him. Yeah, but the blood, that came after. The first thing is she drained her own blood and like put it down and then cleaned it up with, you know, make it look sloppy.

That was smart. Spoiler, sorry for a 10 year old movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then you're going to Pennsylvania and you're just living in the fucking. Yeah, I think I would just probably hang out with the Amish and I think if you get close with the Amish they'll protect you because they don't fuck with police.

I mean, I don't know what they fuck with. I know they don't fuck with electricity. Yeah, no, they don't really fuck. Or dolls with faces. When I was in Arizona, I saw some Amish people but they were at a gas station. I was like, hey. It doesn't seem right.

Yeah. Well, we've spoken about it before in a previous episode of The Basement Area. You can go check out right now. I saw the Amish and they travel in packs. Yeah, they're definitely. It's all you need to do. Just call yourself Jeb, grow out a beard,

maybe some, you know, long hair. And top hat. And you're good man. You'll fit right in. Yeah. Probably the hottest Amish person that would ever have existed. Well.

So I don't know if like that way you might stick out like a sore thumb, but are you not getting pulled over with these plates? I've only been pulled over one time in my life. Okay, but you also had real plates. Yes, but my point is like I've been able to drive in a certain manner. But it doesn't matter.

A lot of these cars now, cop cars have the fucking plate readers on them. So you pass by your licenses expired, your registrations expired, your insurance is not there. They'll fucking beep, beep, pull you over. And there you go. Record of Joe Sanagano. Where's your ID?

You're coming with me. One, two, three. Well, this is why we talk things out. Gotcha. You know what I mean? There is a way to steal cars though, but if you work at a valet. Yeah, you take the keys.

So what? You're going to get a job as a fucking valet? Not my barber was actually telling me, he was like, yo, my friend got his car stolen because he's like, yo, I don't know how this happened. He's like, these people just rolled up to his house because there's a camera and they got out. They unlocked his car with a thing.

Beep, beep. And then he got in, turned the car on and drove away. And he's like, clearly they made a copy or like this, you know, whatever. So with these cars now, like with my car, you just walk up to the car, it will unlock once the keys are close to it and you put your hand on the door.

But it has to be like right up to it. But if it's in my pocket, it'll just open. And then that's how the car starts. If the key is in there, then it'll just start. So clearly there is some sort of like fucking thing going on. Collusion. Some Bluetooth going on. Some collusion between my keys and my car.

So if you can find a way to replicate that or just like kind of, you know, make a duplicate of this like weirdness because I have multiple keys obviously. So you can copy that. If there was a way to do it, if you worked at a valet, you just steal cars. You steal like the thing, you do like the copying

while they're having dinner, nice lobster bisque or whatever the fuck. Lobster bisque, it's great. Cream. And then you wait a month and then you go back and you fucking take it. Wow. I would probably just like avoid tolls and avoid.

I don't even know how to do that. Actually, GPIA, fuck, we're back to a phone. Now you're back to a phone. Well, I would need a map. You print out that map quest fucking direction. You're living the dream, but they'll check what you printed out on your computer. So you're in trouble there.

Yeah. I mean, what about that chip that was implanted in you? Whoa. Yeah, now see, now you're in trouble. Also, I would probably just like Google a bunch of crazy shit that made no sense. Cause you know how like they always check your computer. Yeah, Google like fucking like Wisconsin,

Wisconsin, Wisconsin. Yeah. So they know that I'm not in. And you're like big, like strip clubs, Wisconsin. Strip clubs in Wisconsin. Check all the strip clubs in Wisconsin. And I'm in fucking Missouri. Yeah.

I mean, I think they're pretty close. Wisconsin and Missouri. I think so. No, they're not. No, no. You sure about that? Yeah. I'm thinking Mississippi.

Yeah. The buzz are close. Again, I don't know. The middle of the country is a blur. Literally all is one state. All right. So like you can be like, yo, I'm Googling like, you know, like places to get a job is undocumented in California.

And then I'll be in like Connecticut. I'm pretty sure. Or jokes on them. Just go like next door. Bro, yeah. Or that. Throw them completely off. Or honestly, yeah.

I don't know why I feel this way, but I feel like if I just walked up to the Canadian border, I could like talk myself in. Yeah. Probably. They're very nice. And you're a good looking guy. I'd be like Tracy.

Oh, Tracy's there. I need, I just need to get in here. She'd be like, oh, what's, about a boot what? The a boot part was good. Afterward went downhill. What? Yeah, downhill. Yeah.

And I'd be like, I just, I think it's a beautiful land. You know what I mean? I think that you guys have grades too. They can't be watching the whole border. Like they have to like, there has to be like a spot where they're like, oh. Yeah, I mean, you know, that's what the problem in this country is.

I think so. Yeah. I think that's the issue. We gotta build another wall. Another wall on top of the already wall. Or behind or in front of it. Land is funny, isn't it? Isn't it a great place?

How did we like draw the lines for like? Yeah, like Texas. Louisiana. You know what I mean? Like Texas is like. Texas like we're coming here. Yeah. Or like the States even.

That's what I'm literally what I'm saying. Yeah. That was so strange. It doesn't make any sense to me. And like maps. That, how did, how, how did maps work? How were they drawn back in the day? How would they like figure it out?

Yeah. Yeah, like how did you, yeah, that's a good point. You know? People would die making like a trip because they pooped too much. Like there's no way they were able to figure out like and like convey the way the world looked to somebody else. Bro, think about how badly people wanted to like communicate

that they would be like, I got a ride for four nights to say hi to Bethany. And you're like, just don't go. Bro, think about how slow communication was. If you want, like if I were to like write to you and be like, you know, oh, things are getting bad. You wouldn't know for another. He'd be dead.

You wouldn't know for like eight months how good they were going to get. Mom's sick. And then it's like, you get there and you're like, I... You have four months of wondering if mom is sick. I'm four years older now by the time I can tell you. And then you find, yeah, they were like cool with like understand like learning about their family

like years ahead of each other. I also love that you can't ask follow up questions to that. So like someone rides in and they go, you know, mom's sick. And then you go, what? How is she, how's she doing? And you're like, I don't fucking know, bro. She was sick when I left. You know, it's like, bro, I don't know.

How's her, did she break her, did her fever break? And you're like, dude, I have no idea. I like literally rode through towns in the rain, had sex with hookers on the way. I need penicillin myself. I like, I think it's funny when they like, they have like the whole like, what's his name, Paul Revere?

Like the British are coming. Like they might've already been there. You know what I mean? Like the British, the British are coming. The British are coming. The one that's like, we're already here. You know? Well placed, well placed we live.

Dog the bounty hunter. He's going to get us all. I think that your, your plan to escape is shit. What would you do? All right. You were waiting for me to ask this. Yes, I was. First things first.

Yeah. I'm taking cash out like two months before. How much? Uh, I'm not a lot, honestly. I'm saying like two grand. Okay. Just to have comfortably, okay? And then I am stealing a bike.

Okay? First thing I'm doing, stealing a bike. Riding into somewhere super populated like the Bronx and just pay in a family. Like, yo, let me just hang with you for a week. What do you think they would, but what, how much would you pay them? I wouldn't tell them everything I have.

I'd be like, yo, 500 bucks. I stay with you for the week. Don't tell anyone. You don't think that like, Think about how genius that is, bro. It's not genius. Why not? Because what if there's a fucking thing on your head?

And they're like, yo, $10,000 for any information to be like 500 bucks. I'm taking the 10 G's. I don't know who this, but how do I know they know that? I'm saying they could. I mean, I'm not hurting people. This is the game show.

Just, I'm not like really in trouble. If I'm really in trouble, I'm killing everyone. That's how they find information on people. They offer money. So they would offer. Yeah, but how are they gonna know to go to the fucking Bronx, the boogie down,

where people don't like, you know, the boogie down is not like super ear to the ground about what's going on in the world. They're kind of living in their own world, babe. You ever been up there? Not enough. Dude, there's a lot of crime there. I think that there's a lot more police activity there

than there is. There's a lot more police activity, but they don't care about me. They care about like the big stuff, like the big issues. Frankie. All right, scrap this plan. You're gonna go live with the family in the Bronx.

You thought my idea was bad? I was driving into the woods in Pennsylvania. You're going to the Bronx. You're gonna get tracked as soon as you go in any of the fucking tolls. Any of the tolls they'll find your ass. Who's going through the tolls? Bro, how are you getting out of New York

without going through a toll? Answer me that. Fucking just drive through it. Oh yeah? And they're not gonna take a picture of you? Take a picture. You went through. I'm still going to be in the woods.

By the time they get the picture, bro, I'm out. You know, that you're not entirely wrong. I'm also, I'm wearing a mustache. I got blonde hair. You're wearing blonde hair mustache. They're like, oh, it's just a guy. Send him a ticket in his fucking in the mail. Yeah.

I've driven through an easy pass without an easy pass and I had to shit bad. Oh. I pulled up and I was like, bro, I don't have an easy pass. And the guy was like, why did you come this way? I was like, and I literally was like, I didn't want to. I was tricked because I made a right thinking

I was going somewhere else. And I was like, oh, I'm getting on a bridge. I once drove through, before I had an easy pass, I drove to the easy pass line and I sat there and like honked my horn. And the guy walked over and he's like, what? And I was like pretending to, and he came over and I just went to hand him the cash

and pretended I didn't speak. What did you say to him? No, I speak. I was mumbling. Did he take it? Mm-hmm. He's like, go. Go, you piece of shit.

Yeah, he was like, I was just like, why, you know. I just had the money out. I was like, why you, I know it. And then he just took the money and was like, all right, get out. Just get out of here. Like a pissed off dad, like fucking go. What's the movie where they drive through

one of those things where it's like the coins, it was like the cone that catches the coins. And they just like throw it in there as they're driving. Every movie? Yeah, I've always wanted to do that. I did that before. I've done that. I think on the way to certain parts of Jersey.

Yeah, the Garden State Parkway. It's like 13 cents. I'm like, can we get old? How much money did we make in here? Yeah, there was one that was 50 cents. And I remember, yeah, I just, literally, Becca used to tell me all the time, she's like, I used to toss buttons in there.

They don't really check. Buttons? Yeah. How many buttons this lady got? This woman had quite a couple buttons. She's got a big, she's a big sewer? I guess so, because she's like, I threw a bunch of buttons in there.

And she's like, I would make the commute every day. And I was like, do you have a lot of buttons? Yeah, it's mad. Fucking buttons. A lot of buttons and dimes. Like Jesus, Peter Rabbit. Yeah. But yeah, they still have that basket.

You toss that son of a bitch in, you wait for the green light and you're good to. I mean, I don't have it now. I still have easy, easy, easy pass. Yeah. Let's get to the first batch of ads here. First batch of ads. The first batch of sponsors for today's show.

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Go get it, folks. Go get it. You know what else I wanna get? I've been watching that show, Sex Education, season three. I'm gonna say something that I wanna make sure is said. Sex Education, by the way, on Netflix. Incredible. Really, really good show.

A lot of fucking. A lot of fucking, but honestly also, just a really good, well-written show. It's a great show. A lot of fucking. A lot of fucks. A lot of, a lot of, a lot of- A lot of-

Well, I was gonna say pooping, though. No, not pooping. I don't think there's any pooping. No, there's like- One girl, I think she talks about shit-in. Yeah, she's like, I got dope-po. I got dope-po. I got dope-po.

It stinks in there. That's what she says. Yeah. Don't break it. I think it's gonna be sloppy. It's gonna be sloppy. That's what she's saying. That's what she's saying.

I'm gonna have a sloppy poo. There is, there is. One person that showed it is not getting the amount of people talking about it that they deserve. And that is the smoke show that is... Jakob. Yeah, there's an old guy- German guy.

Is he German? He's gotta be. He thought he was Swedish. He might be Swedish. No, he is Swedish. Okay. He says he's Swedish on the show. I don't fucking know where they're from.

I'm just saying. They're from- This guy's hot as shit, though. Bro, it's a good-looking dude. And he's just like, no, no, nunchunch. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, I like you. Yeah.

Period. Like, you don't fuck around. He's like, you know, he's a guy that's just fucking dope. Yeah, this guy, I mean- He's got tattoos. He's got a lot of tattoos. He's got Caesar Silver Fox. Silver Fox, he's a drunk, which makes him-

Is he drunk? Relatable. Yeah, I remember in one of the seasons he couldn't drive. Well, also, and he's got those piercing blue eyes. Bro, this guy's got eyes for fucking days, dude. And there's a really hot girl on the show, too. And he just outclasses. Everyone talks about like, it's a really good show.

Legitimately, it's really good. But Jakob, this guy is striking. Strikingly good. There was something about him that like, if he came up to me and he was like, I'd like to take you, I can't, I see it. I'm all flustered. Yeah.

I'm all flustered. I was just gonna say, if that guy ever came up to me, like, asked me for directions, I'd be like, do you wanna sleep over? Do you wanna hang out? I was like, yeah, do you need to even go? Sleep over. Just wherever you're going, I will make that.

Yeah, like, where do you need it? Like, you don't need to go. You don't need it? So, like, I'll give you directions. Let's just go have a beer, though. And the guy, like, everyone in the show, like on TV shows in particular, like, you can't tell like their heights

because some of them are like, they're either like all five foot four or none of them are five foot four. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I'm just hoping this guy's just like six foot 30. And just a big... I'm gonna look him up.

Just look him up. Sex education cast. Just say, Jakob. His name is... Mikkel. Oh. He's Swedish. I knew one other kid named Mikkel.

He's 58. And he's six two. But he's gotta be a good, like, 230, 240? I don't know, man. He's got a partner, not a wife. That's gangster, too. He's liberal. I like that.

Personally. Her name is Sana. Of course. Mikkel and Sana. She's got blue eyes, too. My God, I hope they have kids. Is she like okay for him? Let me see.

I wanna judge her by looking at it. She's a good looking woman. I can't see. I mean, she'll never be enough. She'll never be. No one will ever be enough. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Compared to him, she looks like a... I feel bad. She's a good looking woman, but when you stand next to a man like this... You stand next to Jakob. Yeah. Everyone on that show is kind of hot. People really enjoy that we can talk comfortably

about good looking people of the same sex. Dude, I'll tell you something. And identify as heterosexual cisgendered males. I'll tell you this. The dude who plays Eric, I don't know his fucking name. He's like, oh, no. Just look it up. I don't wanna be racist or offensive.

It's like N-C-U-T-I. Yes, that's his first name. Yeah, I think it's like Nkuti Gawa. Yeah, but yo, this dude is a phenomenal actor. Yeah, he turns it on for that show. That show is all him and his like... And he's just, for all the outfits in that show, Becca and I were watching one thing.

She's like, where the fuck do they get these outfits from? Yeah, I don't know. They're fire. He's a good looking dude, super, super good. I hope like... Dude, Ruby? She's a fucking missile. Okay, that's my daughter you're talking about.

No, you're eating. Son of a bitch. No, it's her name is Ruby. Oh my God, she's 23. What the hell? You know how like on certain shows you see, you're like, yo, people are starting to like blow up because of the show?

Like Parks and Rec. Everyone started to blow up from Parks and Rec at the exact same time. And... This cast. I really hope this cast blows up. They're all really good. Because it's just like a really well-written relic.

I will tell you this. I will tell you this, Joey. Tell me. Guess who is credited as... I think during the first two seasons as a very... Either a writer or director of a bunch of episodes. I believe her name is Katie Herron. Katie Herron.

Fuck is that? She was the showrunner on Loki. Good for her. Blowing up. Nice. All the small people are blowing up. And then Matt Shackman. You know who that is?

No. He's a big time involved. It's always Sonny in Philadelphia. He was the showrunner on WandaVision. Huh. Look at that. Look at that. Also, the dude, I'm pretty sure the guy who plays...

Actually, I'm giving away a lot here. I don't want to give too much of the fucking story away. Just the characters. Don't give the story away. There's a gay character. Okay. That I believe, to my knowledge, is actually straight in real life.

And I believe is dating another person on the show. Right. Awesome. But a lot of gay scenes. A lot of gay. Good for him. Do you think honestly? Yeah. No, I couldn't.

You don't think so? Slam a man? Well, not in real life. They're not slamming in real life. They're kissing. No, I could kiss a guy. But like, I can't like... I...

I can't like, on screen, fake your love kiss a guy. That's really tough. And it's not because it's just like, it's going against me and who I am. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not that much of a professional that I could be like, oh yeah, I can put away my heterosexuality

to just slam this dude on camera. Yeah. It's a lot. That would be a lot. Yeah, it's tough. I'd want to give someone else the opportunity that might be better than I am at it. Brokeback Mountain?

We're talking about like... Those are too... Well... Those guys are... I mean, they're actors, bro. Those are hard actors. Yeah. And I could definitely...

Good looking. Why'd you say that were the question marks? You're talking about Jake Jinojohn. He's a lesbian. Well, one's dead. Yeah, but he was hot. He was. No longer.

Yeah. Unless... You never know. If he was frozen. If he was, probably. I don't know. Good looking, guys. Yeah.

I've never watched that movie all the way through. They go full for it. A lot of anal. I remember when that movie came out, it was like every gay joke was like, oh, where are you going? Brokeback Mountain? Yeah, yeah.

You know, it was like... You know, at the time, I... I'm pretty sure a cop has like said that to me. I'm 90% sure I've said that. Because I was a dumb fucking little bitch. Anyone who was like, if I was walking with one of my friends, they'd be like, oh, where are you going?

You guys going to be cowboys and gay in the mountains? You're like, what the fuck? I had someone... I think I told the story when our buddy Trevor Wallace was on, which you can check out right now on YouTube. I was walking down the street, holding one of our friend's hands, and a car pulled up and was like,

use the F word galore. Nice. And let us know they were going to kill us. Oh, yeah. Jesus. They let it fly. And I was doing it like with my friend casually. There are people that do that to try to be,

express themselves. Yeah. Boy, was that rough. That was a tough thing. That was tough. Everyone go watch Sex Education though. Really go watch it. We're not getting paid by now.

That would be lovely. If they were like, hey, come and, by the way, they announced season four. Thank God. Yeah. Because I was real worried. Yeah. That they were not.

No. We need that. And if they're like, yo, do it, come beyond the set, come meet a people, season four. Have a poo. Have a poo. Have a sloppy poo.

Have a sloppy poo. Have a spotty and a point. And they'll be like, fuck yeah dude. I would be so pumped. Hell yeah. I would love to meet that cast. If I will say, Just a bunch of smoke shows.

It's a very horny show. Oh, fucking what? With a great message about understanding sexual health. I agree that there is a lot of, there's a lot of vulva. A lot of vulva talk. A lot of penis talk. Yeah.

A lot of kinky stuff. Kinks, orgasms. Sex. Fingering. This season, there's a lot of like background fingering this season. A lot. There's fingering all over.

The woods on a bus. Yeah, remember that? Fingers like fingers. I have fingering. You know, they have a lot of important discussions about heterosexual relationships, homosexual relationships, non-binary relationships.

They hit all of them. They hit the nail on the head. Really good show. I like it a lot. Again, not getting paid here. Yeah. Just fans. We just like it.

Asa? Asa? But I don't know. Mr. Butterfield? Yeah. I can't believe that's his last name. Is that his last name? That is 100% his last name.

Yeah, but is it his real name? Yes. Or like a stage name. Oh, I think it's his real name. What is this kid's name? Tell me it's like, you know, Chip Chereo Chevins. Yes. It's not that.

But it's Asa Bop. Asa Bopfar Butterfield. Bopfar to spaces. Asa Bop, B-O-P-P, space, F-A-R-R. That sucks. And then Butterfield. I mean, I will say, if my last name was. Asa Bopfar.

Bopfar Butterfield. I mean, I'm glad he dropped the Bopfart. It's not Bopfart. Bopfart. That's what he would get called if he was in school. Oh, because he's a, wait, I don't know what the Bop is. I think Bop's his middle name, and then he's a hyphen kid,

because his mom is. Oh, his parents hated each other. And then his dad is Butterfield. Gotcha. Yeah. Bop. I mean, we just talked shit about his name, so he's not inviting us on.

Yeah, he's not gonna. No shot. He's also like, he's into gaming and stuff too. Good, yeah, yeah. In the show, they play Super Smash Brothers quite a bit. Oh, yeah. I would wax his ass. In Super Smash Brothers.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it was a horny show. He was the second in running to be Spider-Man before it was Tom Holland. Really? Yeah. But I think his height is, I'm gonna do it. This dude's like six four. Is he?

Tall boy. Asa Butts. Asa Buddy. Six foot, he's too tall. Tall, that's tall for a high schooler. He could definitely, he's a really good actor too. I like him. Yeah, I think he does a really great job.

Everyone on that show, like, I don't think there's anyone bad on the show. Everyone's fucking good. I'm not a big fan of some of the characters, but the ones that I really, really love, like really run away with it. I feel like everyone's pretty good. You think that girl's, they gave her like a lead role

this season, you think she's good? The hot one? Oh, Ruby? Yeah. I thought she did good. I mean, it's like every other hot, bad girl, I'm not gonna give away too much of what happens, but like, you know, nuance where it's like,

but in their personal time, they're like, you're not popular, get away from me. Yeah. And then like, when you get to know them, they're like, wow, like I actually care. And I've got a lot of things going on at home. I got things, I got things. I got things.

News flash. I'm not rich. News flash, I got things. Yeah. Yeah. Also, the mom. Oh, Gillian Jacobs. Jacobs is not her name.

Gillian Anderson. There you go. That's Scully. Or Mulder. What? Which one of the two? She was from X-Files. She is from X, Scully.

Scully, yeah. Why did you say what? And like, she's not British. She's from Chicago. You're right. She is. She's like- Holy fuck, I didn't even know that.

Bro, isn't that crazy? She's like normally, but she- Otis. She flushes it. She goes to Chicago, and then she has to drop in Chicago to be like, Otis. Yo, I honestly like,

also, the show is just aesthetically pleasing. Bro. To look at. Incredible. Their house, bro. The nice house. That would be a bajillion dollar house. I don't care what country you're in.

That's a big time house. It's a big time house. I hope other people like to show, and they're like relating to this. Yeah, they're like, dude, what? Oh, and she's been in two marriages. That's fucking fire. With who?

Anyone notable? No. Just douchebags. How dare you break her heart? She's not married right now though, so. Time, sorry, Becca. I think you'll get it. You'll understand.

You'll understand. Otis. Yeah, but. She, like, do you think from like working on a show that is all about like having your character has to understand sexual health and like the body, like you become smarter because of it? Wait, what?

Like if your character, like her character, is a sex therapist. Yeah. Do you think as a result, she in like real life is like more in touch with her like, vulva? I think so. I think so.

You can't listen, you can't make a car and a body part sound that close. Vulva, vulva. Figure it out. Yeah, I wonder what they were going with that. Anyway, let's get to these next steps. The last steps, yeah. The last steps.

I'd like to hear from them. Yeah, so the first one we have here is called Crowd Health. Oh yeah. Crowd Health is a place where you can get simple, flexible, and affordable way to pay for your healthcare, okay? It's flexible, membership says a monthly subscription, start or stop when it's convenient for you.

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That is joincrowdhealth.com slash fit and the promo code is basement. Crowd Health is not health insurance. It is a community powered alternative. Terms and conditions may apply. And lastly here we have C-Geek where this is the app where you wanna buy all your tickets for any concerts

or any sporting events or whatever. Monster truck rallies or whatever goes on in New Jersey. But you can go to C-Geek. They do go on in New Jersey. I know. Pulls together millions of tickets from all over the web. They rate them so it's like a dark green. It's like a good score on the tickets.

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I tried reading the ads last week on the weekly show. Yeah, you freaked out. It was a lot of pressure. I have to say it was a lot of pressure. But guys, also while we're doing it, make sure you go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. We're recording this at the end of September.

Isn't it crazy? September's over. And we almost hit 95 again. If we get to 10,000 by the end of the year, Joey and I have a cool video that we wanna do that we're gonna put out. So make sure- We actually forgot what we were saying.

Yeah, don't worry about it. Make sure you check it out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. You get every single weekly episode a week in advance. Get in on the jokes. Hey, you see the comments from six days ago when it comes out publicly on YouTube. How did that happen?

Guess what? Patrons, baby. And for that next tier up, you get exclusive episodes. Every single Friday morning at 7 a.m. that are spicier, wilder, wackier, zanier. So make sure you check it out. Patreon.com slash The Basement Yard.

And guess who's back, baby? Back again. The studio's back. Tell a friend, ladies and gentlemen, Wednesdays, market here on out. San Diego Studios videos are back. It's true. They're live.

And everyone, I saw a bunch of comments- But they're not live. They're like live, like, whoa. But I saw some comments on the video that went out because I did a video trying a bunch of animal jerky. Yeah, saw that. It's like ostrich and alligator and fucking weird shit like that.

Cox. But a lot of comments were like, oh dude, I can't wait for the next upload next year. I will tell you as someone that has been involved with this process. Yeah, Frankie's in multiple videos. Put it like this. We've shot 10.

We've shot- And 10 weeks of videos are done and we're shooting again soon. We're gonna be doing this for a very long time. It is back with a ferocity. Yes. Let's just say that. So go check it out at San Diego Studios on YouTube.

Tell your friends, tell your family. YouTube.com slash San Diego Studios for those videos. Wednesdays at 3 p.m. How was the jerky, by the way? Some of them were good, like the alligator was good. But there was one that I think it was like pheasant or something tasted like an absolute cock. Yeah, well, I mean, you know-

Wait, imagine a cock. Like a burp, like I ate a burp. Like a burp. Yeah. I had an alligator jerky once. What I remember from it, it was wet. Yeah, they're all kind of slimy wet. It was wet and slimy.

Yeah, it's not really good, but- Yeah, I had that. I've had kangaroo. Kangaroo. And I've had python. I felt bad eating the kangaroo because I was like, this is someone's baby. What the fuck is jerky?

It's just cooked dry meat. Like it's like you cook it really low and slow. So it just basically like dries out. And then you put a bunch of shit on it, like salt? I mean, I think the salt is part of the curing process. I'm not too, too, too familiar, but I think it's like, you know, they like load it in salt and then like bake it in salt and then like let it like sit.

I don't fucking know, but it's weird. It's weird stuff. Yeah, I don't know about that shit. What? You all right? Yeah, I'm good. What's that hat you wear? What did you want to, oh yeah, these hats, by the way.

You wanted to talk about something, but I forgot what it was. I went to Los Angeles. Oh yeah, that's why I want to get to that. But also this hat, the new merch is coming. This is a corduroy hat with the stitching. It just says studios in it. Going in a more different direction.

Abstract. Not abstract, that's not the word. But like a different kind of feel for shit. So we're going to have these, then we also have t-shirts that are coming out. Maybe they'll be out by the time this comes out, honestly. So go to theSanagatoStore.com and get yourself some of these because these are super nice.

Yeah, those are nice. Nice enough that hopefully I get one one day. I have them for you outside. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Yeah, so I went to LA my first time out west and stayed in downtown Hollywood. Nice.

Boy. Downtown's not nice. Oh boy. I was really grateful because I went out for an event which I can't talk about yet. I was really grateful that they like flew me out and I had a really good time with the people I met. But the streets, downtown Hollywood.

Dude. Not good. Bro, first of all, everyone's walking with their head down because they're trying to see fucking Gwyneth Paltrow's name on a sidewalk. So like no one's looking up. So people are constantly bumping into each other. Yeah.

And then people are just stopping in the middle to take a picture of a star with a name. It's like, oh, Johnny Depp. Yeah. Then they go, whoa. Like, yo, maybe we should. Yo, you know what was the newest looking star on the Walk of Fame that I saw?

Trumps? Yes. It gets cleaned every day probably. Bashed to fucking smithereens like once a month. Yeah. But bro, I was shocked. People talk about New York as having like a bad homeless population.

Dude, not like LA. Yeah. Holy shit. First of all, I was driven through El Barrio and they were approaching, what's that place called? What's the skid row? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm dead.

I swear to God, I thought I was gonna get robbed by the cab driver because he was approaching skid row, which is like, that's where you go. That's homeless paradise. I mean, I don't think anywhere is paradise for them. Well, homeless town. Town. Yeah.

And then I saw a fight at night of homeless people. No. I think this person had a home. OK. That's where we were describing. So I need your help here. This guy did pull the tactic that is either genius or absolutely fucking crazy.

He got naked. Partially. Good. So guys out there, I don't know what happened to start the fight, but he's fucking. What are you like, from your balcony or something? Balcony, no. I'm fucking from where I'm eating dinner.

I'm watching it on the street. So this guy just starts barking at the bouncer that was at this place. It's the taco place I went to. Bouncer's big. Big dude. He's a bouncer. He would have beat the.

I mean, he was short, but he would have beat the shit out of me, which is very hard. And he starts taking his shirt off. The bouncer? No. Oh, the guy? The guy. Yeah.

Disgusting gross pig. And he starts showing his belly and holding his belly and saying, I got plastic surgery. And there's like, you know when people get like a scar? Like where? Bro, you know when people have like a scar and it looks like it's like an indent? Yeah.

Bro, he had that. And he starts screaming that he had plastic surgery at this guy. At the bouncer? Yeah. And the bouncer's like, yo, like get the fuck out of here. I am going to whoop your, like keep trying me. I'm going to kill you.

And then he starts, this is the point I need to know. Genius are crazy. He starts showing pictures of his body after like mid-post plastic surgery. What surgery did he get? Did he look good? No, he looked like awful. Wait, what was he complaining about?

I don't know. I don't know what they were fighting about. But he had pictures of his body. Bro, he went up to the guy and he was like, post-op. Post-op, like look at it. And it was like, I saw from where I was, I saw red and pink in there. And I was like, this is a gross picture.

And like, is that my kind of genius? You know how they say, like, you know, like kiss someone, like when you're trying to fight, like if they're trying to fight you, so they're like, yo, what? And then like, throw some off. I've never heard that. You've never heard that saying?

Kiss someone? Never heard someone say, like, yo, like, just like, just like, try to kiss him. Mike Tyson needs to do that shit all the time. He's Mike Tyson. And did people want to fight him? He also told someone to fuck him until he, or he said, I'm going to fuck you.

I'm going to fuck you until you love me. Right. And then there's a bad word in there. Of course. You know, as Mike Tyson did. It was the 90s. Well, but like, was that like the fucking way to go? Like just grossing people out so they don't fight you?

I don't know about, I'm just more confused about what this guy was at. Like LA problems seem a lot different. He had a dog on his shoulder. Wait, wait, a tattoo or like a dog? No, a dog standing on his shoulder. Frankie, how do you leave that out? Sorry, I forgot that part.

There's a drunk man with his shirt off grabbing his stomach. Oh, I don't know if he was drunk. He was driving. So, I mean, he could have been drunk, but. So, there was a man with his shirt off grabbing his stomach, screaming that he got plastic surgery, and the whole time he had a little dog on his shoulder? Yeah.

And then he was screaming at the guy, you're from Uranus, like the planet. Not like, you know, a butthole. Yeah. He was like, yo, you're, oh, yeah, you're from Uranus. You're from Uranus. You're this guy's from Uranus. Bro, it was nuts.

Jesus. It was quite the show that I had with dinner. He was having a bad set. But it's getting heckled by the bouncer. Absolutely again. I don't even know how the conversation could get there with the bouncer. I got to be honest with you.

It was so confusing to watch. Maybe he didn't look like his ID. He lost his shirt and then was shirtless for a while, came back. He had a fucking drug rug on. You know, like the drug rug shawl over, you know? Like a poncho? Yeah, like a poncho. And it had those weed bears on it.

Weed bears? Yeah. You know, like the purple bears that are like, you know what I'm talking about. I literally have no idea. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It had that on it. And he was showing pictures of his plastic surgery.

What else did you see in LA? Guys doing whip-its on the corner. Just like sucking down whipped cream? Yeah, not whipped cream. Like in the pro-whip-it looking can. Right. Oh, yeah. So it wasn't even a whip cream?

No, it was a full whip-it can. Just like on the corner, smoking a cigarette? Cigarettes and whip-its. Oh, yeah. They were fucking double, doubling up. Jesus. That's the most white trash thing I could even think of. Well, it was a.

What was that movie where the two girls were doing whip-its and they were young and they were like sucking? 13. It was called 13? I believe it was. And they were like 13. Well, just like the movies called. Yeah, I believe it's one with like Vanessa Hudgens.

Vanessa Hudgens is in there? I think so. I know it was like a blonde girl, but I don't really remember the movie. Like the cover of the movie was like them. Yeah, I remember that movie only because that was the first time that I was introduced to whip-its, and I thought these girls were just eating mad fucking.

They were also doing the fucking cleaner, the keyboard cleaner? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, what a fucking weird thing to do. Like you're going to suck down keyboard cleaner? Apparently it gets you high as a fucking kite, dude. Keyboard cleaner? Yeah.

Oh, this. Yes, yes, yes. That's Vanessa Hudgens. That's not Vanessa Hudgens. Yeah, I know it's not. Holly Hunter, Evan Rachel Wood, Nicky Reed. All right, I'm a little off, but I thought it was Vanessa Hudgens. It is not.

Yeah, no. Evan Rachel Wood, though. Who's that? From what was that show that no one cared about anymore? Westworld. Oh, Vanessa Hudgens was in it. Oh, she was. She was in it.

Oh, so maybe she was just like a cameo. She was like the other whipper. She was like a big hooker or something. She was, I don't know if they were hooking. Not hooking, but like, you know what I mean. They were like. Yo, what does dogging mean, by the way? Like using it in a sentence.

Like wife goes dogging and gets fucked. I'm talking about porn type. Oh, I don't know. In that context, I don't know. But if I'm dogging you, I'm giving it to you, baby. No, yeah, I know. I assume dogging is like birding. People go birding to watch birds.

People go dogging to look for dogs. And they get fucked along the way. No, no, I mean, then that would mean that I dog my whole life because I love looking for dogs. You're a dogger, I guess. I saw a big dog the other day. Big fat dog? No, no, no.

It was a big white like arcaneine looking dog. Oh, OK. Yeah, it was fucking sick. That sounds sick. But no, no, because I remember, I don't know why I'm taking it this now, but sometimes, like, I think it's like a UK term. Because sometimes you could see a porn title and you're like, OK, I know some Brit wrote this shit.

Yeah, because it's like, doin' it. Yeah, sloppy vodka. And you're like, OK. Like, I get it. I love it. Old mum gets a sloppy knob. I actually like it better. Oh, OK.

You know, no, sloppy knob. OK, all right. Old mum gets a sloppy knob. A sloppy knob, yeah? The mum. Yeah. There's one other thing that happened. Get off your porn thing.

Yeah, yeah. That I need to know. Get me out of this porn hole. Get me out of the porn hole. Because I know we got to wrap up soon. I'm painting a picture for you, Joe. You're out. I didn't say close your eyes, but close your eyes.

OK. You're out with your friends. And it's like, yo, I'm going out to the bar. I'm going to have a couple drinks. I'm going to feel nice. Yeah. I'm going to get dancey. Oh, you know.

Music's playing. They have pool table. Everyone's having a good old grand old. What's the first drink you order? What kind of bar is it? Because I'm big on the cocks now. Big on the cocktails. Like, like, break.

I'll probably just get a beer there. OK. What else? Do you want me to say like a liquor? Just give me, yeah, give me a liquor drink that you'd get. A mule. A mezcal mule. Mezcal mule.

OK. I, after the event, went out for a couple drinks with people. There was someone that ordered, quite possibly, the worst fucking drink I've ever heard in my entire life. Just like milk. Amaretto on the rocks. Was this person dead? Or over the Dracula.

What the fuck? Amaretto on the rocks. Amaretto, I was like, what did you just fucking order? And he was like, amaretto on the rocks. I was like, do you want a side of anything? Yeah, like. Bro, have you ever had just amaretto? No.

I have. It sucks. It's like syrup. But worse. I didn't even know you could do that. I didn't know that was an option. Amaretto is just like a liqor. So it's like a melon liquor or fucking like,

what's the other one? Bailey's. Bailey's is like, yeah. Like, oh, blue curacao. Yes, like if I would get blue curacao on the rocks. Exactly. I'd expect that you'd kill me, or fucking triple sec. You'd be like, yo, you mix this with shit.

You mix it with shit. I made fun of this kid relentlessly. How old was he? Not younger than 21. I would say maybe like 28, around our age. Oh, no. I thought either he was really like a lot older and he's been abusing the amaretto for years.

Yeah, he's got a problem with it. Or he's newly 21, and he's a fucking idiot. And there's no clue what he's doing. No, this kid, he might even be older than us, to be honest with you. Bro, amaretto on the rocks. There was another kid there. I feel like we were standing next to this kid.

We should have beat him up. I'll be honest with you. You took everything in me not to pummel his stupid face into the ground. She's like, yo, do you have like silk couches or something? No, I immediately asked like if he had friends. Because that's a lonely drink. Yo, that is a drink that when you're like, you decide,

you haven't done it yet, but you've decided like, I'm going to a lawyer, I'm going to leave my wife. Like then you have an amaretto on the rocks. When you make the beginning decisions of being an alcoholic, you grab, that's what, that's when you just grab the amaretto and you're just like, just fucking. Yeah, she's like, I'm leaving Betsy.

Bro, I once, me and Laurence years ago tried, we tried getting drunk off of a bottle of amaretto and it was the worst possible like decisions. I don't like that taste. It's gross. It's like a nutty, sweetie. Oh, yeah. It's a nutty, sweetie, spunk of an old knob.

There you go. Amaretto on the rocks. Yeah. What'd you drink? I didn't, I had a couple of beers and then I had, I had a couple of beer and then I got a Jameson soda. Oh, you freak. It was good. Jameson soda.

I asked for something else, but they gave me a Jameson soda. I asked for a Jameson tonic with a slice of orange, but they didn't honor my request. That's also disgusting. No, it's really good. No, it's not. Yes, it is.

No, so. I, there was one time like this was before I, I like became a mature drinker. Because you are, yeah. No, but like, you know what you like, you get a little more knowledge. You have a bottle of green tea liquor out there, Joey. You're not a mature drinker.

Listen, that was sent to me for free. It was. I hate green tea, but anyway. Well, fuck you. Hold on, wait a second. Do you want it? I like green tea. There you go.

But I like green tea, you know. Yeah, we get it from the ground. No, but I went to a restaurant and this is when I was just drinking like straight up jack and coax or beer. That was like my life. When you were a fucking mess. Yeah.

When you were wife beaters. So I go to this place and it's a very fancy restaurant. They have like an outdoor bar area and I'm having like lunch or not like a early dinner sort of like 5 36 o'clock. And I'm like, I want to get a drink but I'm afraid to order a jack and coax here. Cause I feel like this is not the place for that.

So I had no idea what to order. So I just like panicked and like the way the also was very French the place and the waiter like I'm asking a question. I don't even know what the fuck's going on. I can barely read the fucking menu. And I was just like, yeah, let me just get this. And I just like pointed out a drink.

And then of course this is always my fear when I order drinks that I don't really cause I don't really know anything about whatever. If something has mezcal in it or tequila, I'm going to order it and that's it. Or like whiskey or something like, okay, cool. I recognize these things. I'll get it.

But I don't know the rest of this random shit. This thing came out and it was basically like a drink that you would get at your sweet 16. Like I like it was just so like pretty and like that. And I was just like, What's wrong with that, Joey? Not comfortable in your sexuality? Not at that time.

Okay, fair enough. Yeah, you were drinking Jack and coax. You definitely were afraid. And I was like, oh my God, this thing definitely I was just covered a cock. Yeah. Yeah. I was just like, oh God.

That makes sense. Yeah, but it was really good. Hey man. Honestly, the gay or a drink looks, it's way better. Boy, oh boy, I can't wait for the internet. Come on, we know what we're talking about here. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

I'm not saying like, ew, ew, it's a drink. No, I'm saying like, if it's like, one time I did that at a bar or like a loud, whatever the fuck it was, it was like a cocktail bar. And I ordered some drink. I'm like, I'll just get this. And it comes out and it's like a very like girly glass like whatever.

And then everyone else that was with me just got like regular whiskey cups in their drinks. And they were like, and then the girl, the waitress goes, she goes, you know, actually those cups are molded after Marie Antoinette's tits. So he's drinking out of tits. And I was like, you dapped her up hard, dude.

Hey, nothing straighter than drinking liquid out of a boob. That's the circle of life right there. That's the circle of life. Also Marie Antoinette had pretty sick tits. Who is she? Who is she? Is she just like a famous woman for something? For something, I don't know.

Was she the knight? A knight? Oh no, that was Joan of Arc. I don't think they're allowed to knight. Yeah, I don't think they were allowed to. Let's get out of here before I get in more trouble here. Frank, where can they find you? Falvara is 8085 on Twitter.

The Frank Alvara is on Twitch and Instagram. And go check out the Patreon. Like I said, patreon.com slash the basement yard every weekly episode a week in advance and exclusive episodes on Fridays. Go check it out, baby. Yes, and you guys can follow me at JoSantaGotta. Go follow the show at the basement yard

on TikTok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time. Bye bye.