The Basement Yard - #338 - Are You A Good Person Or A Bad Person?

Episode Date: March 21, 2022

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. Hey, how you doing? How's it going? What is this voice you like it? No, why not because it was at your morning voice That's my nighttime voice actually it gets a little deep during the nighttime because because I'm I think nighttime is when like, you know You have to Almost lost my voice there. Oh, you have to be sexy, you know, so you need to turn it on a little bit So my voice is just like hey, what's up? You sound like Bradley Cooper in that movie where he's a cowboy. Oh my god, you're fucking shallow
Starting point is 00:00:31 No, what's that movie called a walk the star star? No, no, no, what's it called? Star running good. Yeah, I'm not gonna help you here Go, it's not walk the star. You're by welcome back to the basement yard again. No, it's walk the line No, that's is that John that's John catch. Yeah, okay? I Walk to remember. No, that's Mandy Moore. That's a good movie. No farther from who are you trying to get a movie Shane West? I think that his name. Oh, I don't care. He's a good. He's hot was a Star is born there. It is bro. Okay. What I say walk the star
Starting point is 00:01:07 Fucking like one republic song or something like that Counting stars counting so we can't you know, yo, rumble public. They got some hits. Do they they do I don't know about that. They're bad. I do. I remember like 2009 was like a big one Republic like That's a good song. I thought you were talking all the right moves Yeah, we're going down is that about like suckin pussy, I don't know But there's a lot of music that's like about different things and like you sing it like oh my god It's a good song and then you're like well guess what that's about. Yeah, well watermelon sugar. That's about pussy juice Yeah, who's that by again Harry Styles Harry Styles, okay? There's a full-out boy sugar. We're going down swinging. What's that about a suicide? Oh
Starting point is 00:01:56 Yeah, it's like I'll be like, oh, I'll kill myself. I don't care That's that song's about I'm pretty sure and it's like, you know, like we're going down down in a merry-go-round Not not not a fun night. You can only go around and around. Yes go down sugar We're going down swinging. I'll be your number one with a bullet loaded gun complex cock it and pull it That is about sure and then semi-charmed kind of life. That's about math. That's about crystal math Nice, there's all these songs that are like, you know, they're like, well, how dare you sing that? It's about but pecky pecky pecky. Yeah, it was like all right. Yeah sure you got on my buddy my buddy Joe The gun guy Mr. Diesel guy. Yeah, a Desert Eagle. Do you talk about that on patreon or this problem? I think it was weekly
Starting point is 00:02:37 Could be wrong. Yeah, we've spoken about him quite a bit. Good friend of mine. This is company real muscle Nice shameless plug didn't give me any money for it. Oh, we're editing But I'm wearing what the fuck are you wearing bro? Were you kidding me? I know what it is. But why do you still have that? Oh 2009 champs Football champs. They used to give Ron this team. I think I was yes. Yeah, I was on every team until I went to college How old were we 17 or 16? It's good year. That was a great year, man 2009 damn that's uh, that was our the end of our junior year start of our senior year. Yeah, bro High school. What a fucking time. I'm shocked. You still have that because what a trip you I've seen my mom found this
Starting point is 00:03:25 Bro, I went to my mom's house and she had like this and she had like my old football jerseys from high school and shit Or like my first-ever jersey from the Icy IP League when I was like eight One that yeah, so she had that and then I was like finding like old report cards or whatever And then I found Ziploc bags of teeth. Oh, that's that's that's routine parent stuff My mom still has my teeth when I was younger. Creepy dude. I got we have Ruby's umbilical cord We have my own's his teeth What you have an umbilical cord not the whole cord, but like when the baby comes so Joe you you don't have a child Thank you, but you cut the umbilical cord by the way thick boy. That's a thick shit. Well, they better have a good
Starting point is 00:04:09 Scissor, bro, they got some surgical grade scissors. Did you cut the umbilical cord right? I did how do you how do they hold it up? They hold it and they're like dad is it taught they pull it a little taught They have to of course and they're like you want to cut and I thought it's gonna be like a you know Like a quick snip, bro. I had to like put some fucking like Forearms, I can beca feel that can the woman feel you cut I don't think the woman could feel it I don't think the baby could feel how close to the stomach. Do you cut or you cut like out here? Well, no longer is this fucker bro. This thing is fucking long. It's not like give me give me do go with your What I remember it was very hectic in the environment. Well, yeah, I would say at least
Starting point is 00:04:44 That long at least dude at least what's what was that like three and a half feet? That's big dude And you cut just like right in the middle of it ties I don't know where in the like if it was like in the middle or what but and then they like tie it off on The baby and then they clip it and they tell you that like oh In a couple days, it's just gonna basically a couple days couple weeks, whatever it's it like shrivels up and it just falls off What falls off the belly button like the the umbilical cord from the belly button Dude disgusting no it was kind of cute and then like they're like oh and it falls off Just make sure you clean it because it could still like be small open wounds and stuff like that
Starting point is 00:05:21 Clean that son of a bitch. We still I still I found it the other day the umbilical cord It's in my nightstand school. It looks like a scab basically and then we have Miles's teeth all the live long day What was that last part all the live long day? What does that mean? Just like we have them all you have all his teeth so far Yeah, and they they sell like you've never seen like they sell listen to me They not the teeth. Oh, it's like you're selling these no, no, no I'm sure someone will buy him but they sell like little like kits on On line whether it be like Amazon or wherever and it's like it has all the teeth labeled and like little thing next to it
Starting point is 00:05:57 So you can put like the tooth in it and put like March 8th, 2022, you know Da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba and you have a whole mouth of teeth in this thing, bro I don't understand that at all. Why would I want to keep teeth? It's different when you're a kid when you're a parent like you just want to like hold on to that stuff Yeah, but I get babies first haircut You have just hair, I don't but like I know people I Oh when from when I was a baby my mom was just telling me that she found my baby book and and they have it It's like a lot not all of my hair, but like a little chunk of
Starting point is 00:06:28 My hair that they like then tape on the inside of the book unless you like have plans of making a potion I don't know why you would keep a strand of hair. Yeah, they're making some fucking. What is it? What was the juice called? Polly? Polly something juice from Harry Potter Polly emerus Polly Polly Polly something. No, that's that's multiple lives Yeah, yeah, Polly Polly Polly Polly pocket Polly. No, that's the little toys along came Polly Polly juice potion got it But yeah, I've seen how you keep your clothes, so I'm shocked that you were someone was able to find that my mom found it So she had all it's up. Well, she's keeping my goddamn teeth But what it's what a time man We were we were we were like out in the Wild West doing that stuff
Starting point is 00:07:12 She actually also kept a tooth of my father's that came out of his mouth But his didn't come out when he was a child it came out when he was a full-grown adult Yeah, didn't you say your dad one day just like took a tooth out of his mouth. He came downstairs This is my dad. Yeah one day my dad came downstairs in a t-shirt that he thought that was long Probably at one time, but he had gotten a little fat so it's getting a little shorter So and he wore underwear that was like hanging on by literally two threads. You don't have a good dick Moving on He comes down and he's like look look look and it's a full tooth
Starting point is 00:07:50 Like like the like in the cartoons at all It's like a prong like if you go to the dentist's office and you see a picture of a tooth like smiling like yeah With a toothbrush in its hand, and it's got the legs on it that bro So it came out of his mouth, and I'm like are you doing meth? Like how does this happen to you and it just came out of his mouth? And then he just went back to bed he put in his sock drawer and he went to bed Smart a sock drawer why put it there of all places do everything he put in there Well, there was a porn magazine in there. There was there was his socks obviously my dad's never worn ankle sock in his life
Starting point is 00:08:21 By the way, that's a fun fact well because your dad doesn't have ankles it goes from shin to foot. Well, yeah I don't think they make ankles. I don't make ankles. Yeah, basically your dad's ankle sock would be a belt Yeah, you know you would need your dad had some bro I remember I think I told the story to I like jokingly put my feet in your dad's shoes once and there was a lot of room Like on every side. Yeah everywhere like not just like like oh my god Like look my toes don't even reach the end like there was like at least on each side like three inches of just space We used to put mothballs in his fucking shoes because it smells like shit. I Don't remember your dad smell. Yeah. Oh, it doesn't leave me. Yeah, it was bad
Starting point is 00:08:56 Yeah, but his tooth came out and then my mom kept that so I was like you how many fucking teeth you got in this garage, bro I remember growing up. Oh Boy, I remember growing up like my dad always had a scent and like everyone has a scent You know what I mean like everyone has a scent Yeah, and like you know what your scent is what your partner sent is what your mom dad Ba-ba-ba-ba, and I always remember my dad's scent and then one day I was home and I I went to pee And I always check my own scent and I smelled under my balls And I was like that's dad
Starting point is 00:09:30 Stop it. It's like dad your dad your ball smell like your dad My ball smelled like my dad, and I was your balls of your daddy smell my dad Me you wait my balls like they didn't smell like putrid. It was just like I smelled your and I was like That's my dad. My dad is my balls. That's puppy. That's well. I never called them puppy. Well, I don't know you guys No, no, no, no, you've known me my whole life. I know dad you know I Was like oh my god, I was like freaked out. I kept smelling my fingers And I was like I realized in that moment that my I was smelling my dad's balls my whole life
Starting point is 00:10:04 That's crazy I know my dad sent to because he would take a shower and make the whole shower smell like broccoli. Oh That's awful. Yeah, I don't know what that is by the way. I Would have he would shower and somehow Yeah, it was crazy Well, I knew someone like that too we're like they went into my bathroom when I in my like one of my apartments And they came out and I I walked in and like I don't think they did anything wild in the bathroom Like I don't think they were taking dumps, but like I was like it's not that wild
Starting point is 00:10:34 No, no, no, but like the amount of time they were in the bathroom and I remember thinking to myself like oh my god Like this person just like they're being smells like fucking not even just shit, but like just like you can't it's unbearable Yeah, but yeah, that was the day I realized that I was smelling my dad's balls My dad would always smell like some type of food like sometimes it was like cured meats And then other times it was like like usually when he got out of the shower was more healthy stuff like Broccoli and vegetables and stuff like that So what would your dad like washing away the filth and just like leaving like the healthy stuff on them? I have no idea
Starting point is 00:11:06 The only thing I can come up with is that he was like a scratch and sniff tattoo and it's like once water water Activated the scent that's probably exactly for whatever time of day. Yeah, I would I would have to think my my dad After the ball smell like I grew up He would wear so much cologne that there's literally certain colognes that I can't smell without like having to remove myself because it Bro colognes are like acts like body sprays Colognes. Oh, bro. My dad had a fucking cologne collection like no one collects colognes anymore This is in 1948. You know what I mean? Like no one's impressed by your little fucking You know with the little like cloth squeezer on the back of it where you're like, ooh, bro
Starting point is 00:11:45 My dad had like I swear to God 40 colognes 40 colognes 40 dude and like one of them was like a diesel bottle that looked like a milk jug Another one would it looked like a bundle of cigars, but you take the top off. It's like what the fuck the one that my dad I watched him once he was like, oh, you want cologne. Do you know with like your Your little kids you want cologne. You want to like be like, oh, you I smell good for a boy. He'd take a couple Bro, how do you spray cologne? I Mean I don't really wear cologne. Okay, if you are I would just like That's it, right? Just to I I've learned to go even less. What is this shit? That that this that's for that's for women
Starting point is 00:12:27 No boys don't do this. This is like crickets. This is this is like what are we doing? I don't understand because then they go like this and then they and then they go like this Yeah, that but I will say but why not just go like this like that dad That's more because you know, it's like they always teach women to be like a little more You know like is that why they do I would think so I would just spray my fingers and go Well, that's what I do now I spray my finger I go like this and I go behind the ear. That's it This oh you go like down your jaw. I go behind the ear down my jawline
Starting point is 00:13:00 Ah, but like I think that's what it is because you know like we don't want to come off like the boys need to be like You know like spray and fucking punch yourself in the face with it or like the girls. It was like pop ups pop ups That's what it was It was always like they needed to like create like a difference with like men's cologne came in like a bundle of cigars or You know like a fucking camo knife and girls came in like a you know I had like a cute little like hose on the back with a little like you know one time I gave my sixth grade girlfriend a Bottle of perfume that my mom was gonna throw out, but I was like I'm gonna give that to that bitch. That's fire. Yeah, and did it smell good?
Starting point is 00:13:43 I Mean, yeah, it was perfume. I'm not all perfume smells good I mean, I wouldn't have given to her if it smelled like an old lady's leg Yeah, there's certain like when we were in when we were coming through like middle and I wrote her a poem. I Need this poem. No, I remember it It was like I'm sure it with the class set in like a video before but it was like roses are red Violets are blue Something something something but here's oh, I'm not saying you smell bad, but here's some perfume
Starting point is 00:14:10 Damn, I wish I was a little spicier if I had written it be like roses are red. Your pussy is awesome Cuz I was such a little dumb bitch, you know your pussy is Rose is a red your pussy is awesome come over later, and I'll show you something awesome. Yeah, like just something Awesome, yeah, I wasn't very I'll show you my possum. Maybe I don't know I Really by the way, I was 27 years old when I realized that possum is spelled opossum. I I have a very public feud with rodents, and I fucking hate possums a Public feud. Yeah, dude. I will like I'll like I'm cool with like all rodents like I don't care what they do for the environment
Starting point is 00:14:54 I'll like kill them hard Like yeah, you've told me you spiked a I spiked a mouth got another one too didn't spike it But just found its decomposed body, okay Jesus what that's not like It was a mouth, so I didn't even care no bro mouse. It's not like shit. No this one didn't I mean It wasn't decomposed it was like it was decomposing, you know But where how did we even when we were I'm sorry as I was saying before before you interrupt me because you're my superior we were in middle school
Starting point is 00:15:24 Middle school high school and like body sprays were a big thing huge and like those like Scented hand lotions that like did worse things to your skin and like moisturized it. Hmm like fucking Japanese cherry blossom You know like Victoria's secret hand lotion. I must have not been up on that Who are you hanging out with apparently no one who smelled good? Yeah? And like so I remember those fucking body lotions that like you would like douse yourself in and going back to what my dad was saying What I'm saying about my dad bro my dad Would use like a quarter of a bottle of cologne on every application. He had a musk That's why he had so much because he would like fucking like three time bro. I literally watched him do this
Starting point is 00:16:08 Non-stop that's like a Greek sign of the cross right there One of our Greek friends every time we passed a Greek church you'd be like Yeah I'm like broke the fuck is that I remember to they'd be like driving and they'd be like I'm like, bro. What is it? And then it's like, you know, this is a Greek thing. Oh shit. I don't think that's agree I think they're half-assing it. Yeah. Well, hold on that might be a Greek thing Ass half ass. Oh, well, I don't think we usually go full ass. Well, they go full in the ass Yeah, that's the thing that's about the Greeks. Well, no, it's that's just history, babe
Starting point is 00:16:43 Yeah, they created anal What the Greeks created anal, bro, this is documented I don't know if they created it as much as they were like the fucking purveyors That would be creation. Well, is it I forgot the word what I don't even know a purveyor I don't really know what that means But I do know that they used to they analded up for sure that the history books wrote it There are history books that talk about the Greeks doing anal, bro You want me to Google right now who invented anal sex?
Starting point is 00:17:12 Free the ancient the ancient Greeks. Are you just saying that to support your theory? No, no, no a history cookies I accept Flicking through the anthropological tax deals a pathetic number of references to heterosexual anal sex is this because researchers assume It's only homosexual guys but They said the ancient Greeks weren't the only people to have had Mania for portraying sex acts in clay mania got an origin Peru So the Peruvians were fucking slamming and they weren't talking to each other if Greeks and the Peruvians didn't even know they exist hell no
Starting point is 00:17:52 Yeah, there was so much fucking they have unearthed 10,000 pots the vessels baffled scholars who tried to tackle their subject matter But they were sex pots of people getting rammed. What? Yeah, dude. How fucking fire is that? Bro, can you imagine finding that just like someone just bent over you just like full doggy You guys see that yeah, that's fire full doggy clay pots. That's super fire. How do you get your hands on one of these? I'm sure they're out there. I mean big your art Joe now. You might as well. I mean, this would probably be very expensive I'm not that expensive. There's only 10,000 of them ever made northern Peru Fucking anal pots and bro and Hispanics when they go for it, they go for it So, you know, that was not like cute anal. What does that mean?
Starting point is 00:18:30 You know exactly what it means. No, I don't like when they want to get involved in something They're like full-on like I'm here. I'm ready daddy's home daddy. Exactly big daddy's back big daddy landed Yeah, so like if like fucking if they're doing butt stuff, they're not like doing like oh cute roses Oh, yes. No chair is sex. Yes. See you'll get you'll get a little gasolina. Oh, you know Another song about sex Gasolina gasolina's about sex Sir, no, yes. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 00:19:03 Yeah, that's crazy though, man. Yeah, they invented anal though. I don't even know if that I don't care if it's true We don't care the Spartans, bro. They used to bang butts, bro Spartans were like, yo You want to be the world's greatest warrior? Fuck this little boy? It was fucked up We should get to my size. Yeah, didn't we? Yeah, I don't know bro. I don't make the rules cuz Anyway, big YouTube Big YouTube big YouTube big YouTube big pharma. Yeah, big pharma big YouTube. Yeah big map big big You ever heard the idea that the the maps that we see are like fake
Starting point is 00:19:38 What the people think there's there's Like I remember I remember where I heard this but like the idea that like the maps of the world that are like the most popular are Bullshit and like they they make the US look a lot bigger not the US But like North America look a lot bigger because they wanted to be like more important and shit like that But we look small compared to all of Europe Russia China gigantic places. Do we? Yes I don't think I don't know about that there, but the US is smaller than Canada. Isn't it? I don't know I think the country I'm not saying the country
Starting point is 00:20:12 I'm saying the continent like it makes the continent look like way bigger than it actually is and compares into like fucking Africa or Some shit like that bro Africa is pretty big on that I know, but I'm saying like the maps draw it that we're bigger or comparable in size when the reality is that we're probably not Okay, I don't understand why people care about this shit So a part of it Joe you've been brainwashed from an early age to believe that you live on the biggest plot of land makes him the most Important I literally don't think that and I that could be fed to me, but I don't even know that to be true Yeah, but you're not everyone. I think Africa looks pretty big I think that South America looks pretty big too, and I think Europe looks the biggest
Starting point is 00:20:49 No, Europe is like a little guy Australia's, you know, you mean Oceania people call it that don't get it Yeah, what is that like this like we could say whatever I don't I think they like when they refer to the continent They say Oceania, but the whole continent is just one country. I've always learned Australia. Yeah, that's how I learned too Yeah, I don't care about any cool. Well, we're in the same class. Well, that's right And then after after fifth grade you didn't really go to many classes, right? No, no, no after Seventh grade. Oh after sixth grade That's when I started one year. Yeah one extra year One extra year of just going and then we did a complete 180. I started going to Popeyes. Yeah. Well, I don't blame you
Starting point is 00:21:28 Popeyes is so good. Yeah, dude. Also Papa John's. I know they're a little into the definitely into a racer a lot of it But we got them out of there and you know the garlic butter sauce is still kicking No, well, I think now because like people are upset because not upset because it's Peyton Peyton Manning owns most of it Doesn't he does he I know he's like a supposed. Yeah, I think Papa John banjourno is like gone and then Peyton Manning is like the like one of the two or three owners and it's like you can't be mad at Papa John's I could paint manning and it fell icon. You know American hero, but yeah, that's some stuff. That's some stuff Yeah, what was he saying again? He was just like casually just dropping hard Rs
Starting point is 00:22:11 Yeah, he was he was hard-earned as you know As one does as the racists do. Yeah, you know as one does on a kind of business call bro. I saw a video the other day of Like this guy arguing with this guy another guy at a bar Obviously one guy was an african-american The other guy was not and old and old and white as shit Yeah, and he just said like there's a difference between black and
Starting point is 00:22:41 The hard are the hardest And this guy smacked the fucking daylights out of him He got hit with some reality bro and not even like this is the thing If I get punched I'll be upset But like a punch you wear like yeah, I got hit I got punched bro if you get smacked in the mouth and knocked out from that There's no coming back. You get the fuck out of this guy mad times bro
Starting point is 00:23:04 He beat the dog shit out of this guy And then he fell over and he got up and tried to keep talking shit Right and he just kept wailing on at that point. You gotta you gotta kill this old man I would think so. I honestly like Listen, I am an empathetic person. I have sympathy and stuff But mean old people I feel nothing. I could beat the hell out of an old man and feel nothing. See, I'm the opposite I Like I'm not giving an old man a pass. Oh, no, I'm not giving an old man a pass either
Starting point is 00:23:31 But what I'm saying is like when I watch videos or see these videos I think I follow an account that's like girl fights or boy fights or whatever it's called boy fights, um, it sounds it sounds weird, but Like when I see like kids in high school fighting no matter who's in the right or wrong I'm like, yo, I feel bad for this because they're kids when I see adults I'm like, uh, you know like I hope both these people but when I see like an old person involved I feel
Starting point is 00:23:58 Nothing Because I'm like one you need to really want to hit an old person to hit an old person And two if that old person deserves it, they'll be dead soon. Well, the thing is Can't run away from time You got to be careful hitting old people because those motherfuckers can die And then you go to jail But and I listen I do have sympathy for old people and I would never want, you know, whatever But like if an old dude spits in my face, I'm fucking blasting him in the mouth
Starting point is 00:24:23 Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be as upset like no, yo, I'd rather get punched by an old spit Yeah, that would be fun But like old people's like insults are like so dated while it'd be like You got no leg like a charlie and it's just like what the fuck does that even mean? I don't I don't care, especially southern people. Yeah, you know, they'll be like, uh, he's cheaper than He's he's not as tough as a two dollar steak. Yeah, I don't like I don't give a fuck I'm not doing bro. Like if I hear like, you know, obviously I can't relate because I'm not black But like if I heard like someone like bro, I am unloading on this person
Starting point is 00:24:55 Yeah, and like I won't feel I won't feel a thing. Not me either I I would just hit an old guy to me. I'm like, oh, wow. Now. I'm not hesitating. I know I could beat you up Yeah, or if anything like you're you're doing you're doing father time a favor You know, you're bringing them to meet the maker a little quicker It might be over a population in this area pal Doing my part. Where's yours? Joey, you know, philanthropist. I'm a philanthropist I just tried to say that for real just now. Stop philanthropist
Starting point is 00:25:25 I I Hold on Yo, I can't say this word say it philanthropist. Philanthropist. Yo, what the hell? Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Philanthropist. Yo, what the fuck is happening? Hold on It's not funny
Starting point is 00:25:47 FAMP. Yo, I just said FAMP. Okay. Philan. Philanthrop I'm getting there. I'm there. I'm I'm being dessert. What's wrong with you. Are you having a stroke flampert it? Yo Philanthropist got it. Oh my god Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with you? Philanthropist philanthropist philanthropist philanthropist Philanthropist there you go. I'm on it, baby That was crazy that video from like it must have been like 2006 2007 where the girl's reporting outside the Lakers game and she's like
Starting point is 00:26:22 They're very dersey airs They're very Get my hair. It's your birthday. A very derse bear tip for kevbertation Very derse Pertation. I feel bad laughing because she actually was having something medical happen. But like it's a classic video And they were like, okay, back to us. Let's go. How about do a big tip ticket? Yeah One time I looked up people fainting on the news Look it up. Really?
Starting point is 00:26:48 It's good. You ever see the one of wendy williams or anything? She's just like talking and then she Yes She yeah, and that's yo honestly fainting is very scary and I hope all these people okay, but fun. You ever pass out Yeah, how many times Maybe twice. I think I've passed out once. No, actually, that's not true. I used to pass out all the time in church I don't know what that says. Oh, well, that means the holy spirit was running his way through your butt well I couldn't it was so hot in my church
Starting point is 00:27:14 Because it was just like old I guess and there was like no ac One time an old woman just like fainted onto another woman And then I you know, I remember the people in church love that shit They're like, yo, he's fainting the power of the christ is compelling them. No, no, no This is this was fully medical. Yeah, it was fully dead woman. I Christ wasn't there that day No, well, I mean he might have been I don't know But this I remember because I used to faint in church all the time and I'd be like, oh my god I'm feeling lightheaded like I'm gonna pass out and then my sister would have to take me outside
Starting point is 00:27:41 And we would sit right outside and I'd be like good go back inside You know, I'm saying just god hit the little host praise god and I'm out Hail Mary we out this bitch active contrition or something and uh, then I remember one time being in church and it was like a hot day and like, you know, everyone's got the fucking fans going and um I turn around because I hear this woman and all I see is this woman. She had glasses on and an old woman's like this On her shoulder, right just like this On her shoulder eyes open And she's going like this and she's hitting her face and then she starts screaming. She goes father
Starting point is 00:28:16 Father to the priest. He's scared the shit out of me. Yeah, he's screaming. Father. Father. What's he gonna do? He went like this Uh, what is that? Yeah, no, he he just put his hands up He just was like, yo, and then but then they called the the Not the police the emt's Damn, that's crazy. Yeah, and if someone dies in a church, do you like that's got to be like You save money you save and oh, you're saving a whole lot No, you know, you just wake up and just go right to the altar and just like hang with the fucking
Starting point is 00:28:49 You know, I'm here in the pew, you know, I guess so dine on the pew. That's just like a fast That's that's fast. So that's like the ride the thing to get into disney It's like dying at the touchdown of the super bowl game. It's like dying in a coffin That really is it's like laying in a coffin. Be like, wow, it's just good. Yeah She's gone. You're good. Um, but yeah, I remember that at least but I used to faint all the time and then another time I fainted Probably because I was just dehydrated and like hammered. Yeah, I fainted once in uh high school Um, I gave blood and like I I didn't eat much beforehand
Starting point is 00:29:22 And I remember like they were like you need to eat a bunch because if you give blood and you're not like You're gonna fucking pass out and I remember like after I gave the blood the whole thing was very uncomfortable I don't know if you've donated blood I have but I don't pass out from that the one time I did bro. The needle was like this thick It was it was like a straw and I I'm never bad with needles Like I'm I'm fine with that stuff like that blood doesn't bother me But I remember the girl like she put like the cotton swab on my you know I'm right here and she's like, all right
Starting point is 00:29:49 Pick your arm up and I picked my arm up like this and I looked at my fingers and I watched Like a cold sensation run down my fucking shoulder and it hit me here and I just went bang And then I woke up, you know, like as I was starting to come to come back That was the worst part of it because like I actively remember opening my eyes and being like What am I who am I where am I and like having to like get all of that information back And then I look down and you know like my hand is drip and there's like drops of blood on the floor And I just had like a like a Trinidadian woman screaming in my face
Starting point is 00:30:23 Wait, why was there drops of blood on the floor because I was holding my hand and she had just taken the the The needle out the straw and I was holding a cotton ball And then I when I fell I must have let it go. So like some some drop like drops of blood ran for my hand And my you know my arm down my hand and then you know, like I said, I had a screaming like Trinidadian woman just like in my face and I was like, I didn't I didn't know and I got two cookies Fire two fucking cookies, bitch apple juice apple juice. No orange juice two fat cookies Fat cookies too. Wow the one and you know, which ones you know, are you ready those old oatmeal cookies? I had that white layer frosting frost dude. I was just talking about
Starting point is 00:31:08 Fucking mad my mommy's by the oatmeal raisin ones. I remember you're fuck dude You know, you I don't know if you remember this but you guys your mom for like a couple of months Would buy just a tub of caramel A tub bro like a like a fucking container of caramel I don't remember and anytime I'd go over I'd take a spoon and I would have a spoon of caramel Don't remember that at all. Yeah. Yeah. I remember some like weird snacks that we've had like my mom like the oatmeal raisin cookies That's another one the the sherbert loaf It was like a loaf of bread, but it was ice cream. Yeah
Starting point is 00:31:42 Disgusting. I always remember you guys always had those like uh breakfast essential fucking breakfast shakes, bro Instant breakfast bro Keith would down those things Too quick instant breakfast. Damn. I haven't remembered bro. That's great. You're blowing my mind. You're welcome. You are blowing me right now Well, no, it's crazy. How much you're blowing not doing that. Let's get to the ads instead. Oh, yeah Uh, the first one we have here liquid death. Frankie could have used some liquid death when he was giving blood probably I actually I don't want to be quoted on that. I don't know if that helps with that. Um, but No liquid death there liquid death. Oh my god. Fuck me now. We're dead now. We're in the water because Liquid ivy guys. Oh
Starting point is 00:32:23 The greatest company in the world damn liquid ivy though Well, I guess they just got a free plug. Are you gonna add it that liquid ivy shut the fuck up frank liquid ivy, all right They're the greatest they actually have given me a bunch of liquid ivy And I've given it out to a bunch of people because there's no way I'm gonna finish all of it But they are amazing and some people actually hit me up and they asked me for my favorite Flavors and they are strawberry watermelon and the lemon lime that lemon lime the strawberry That probably is my favorite the strawberry but
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Starting point is 00:34:18 I don't I the only reason why I don't have them every single day is because I don't know like Whenever I get around to it though, and I remember I'm like, bang having this listen, I don't often Uh, you know have any alcoholic drinks But I can tell you that I feel fucking incredible when I start with like two liquid ivy's and then next morning I wake up have one of those No fucking headaches, babe. Bang bang. Um, all right Uh, and next year we have fit bod
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Starting point is 00:36:23 Always good friends of the show Absolutely always good friends of the show um also Speaking of good friends good friends like that. That was good. That's good. Yeah Get started up. Well, there was a story that came out of a gentleman in time square that found a wallet return. Oh, this was time square Yeah, where the fuck else would it have been? I literally the whole road. I don't know. I don't know Where people are nicer stupid question on my so say wait someone in time square
Starting point is 00:36:49 Someone in time square found a wallet which was returned to its owner with four Four thousand big ones in it four thousand dollars four thousand dollars of cash in the wallet that they returned to them with the fucking $4,000 of cash in it Bro, listen first of all it must have been two tourists because there's no way someone from new york has four thousand dollars Well, not only that but like listen No one's got four thousand no one no one no one except for joey. I would I hate the idea that like people were like, yo, new yorkers are such assholes new yorkers are are
Starting point is 00:37:23 always in a hurry true but they're also They want money Yeah, so like bro If I find a wallet of four thousand dollars worth of cash That person's getting their wallet back. No problem. No doubt I'm gonna have the full four thousand. I don't know what happened to that money. Oh, but what I found it just like this What do you what do you mean?
Starting point is 00:37:44 You know And then boy oh boy I'm finding the coolest megazord that I could find and I'm fucking just putting the cash down on it You know, I was with you for a second Well, all right. All right, joey. Sorry. What what if I found a fucking kith t-shirt? Better better joe. No or an I'm leon door Hat is that what you want? Is that it? Did I say it right? Nailed it. Did I yeah, no, I didn't no
Starting point is 00:38:10 um But I will say this If I find a wallet and no one is around I'm taking that fucking money Times Square makes it a little tough because you know that people are gonna see you do that And it's like I'm gonna pick it up if anyone's staring at me. I'm obviously just gonna be like, all right It's what? Listen, I applaud the person for giving them the full money back. What would you do realistically?
Starting point is 00:38:36 Would you take some of the money? This is you gotta take all or nothing. You can't just be like, oh, I don't know. There's two thousand missing Yeah, well, I I would I would think you know because like thinking logically like bro If someone has money to walk around with four thousand dollars worth of cash like I don't think they're gonna be like really upset that it's missing. No, I don't I'm not admitting to a crime but like You're taking it. I'm taking it. Yeah, I'm admitting to it. Can't get me in trouble for saying I'll make a crime if it ever happened I'll make a crime. I'll fucking make a crime. I know you definitely getting trouble for that
Starting point is 00:39:07 Well, like if it's like a you know, like if it's like a progressive crime like if it's like I'm gonna kill you That's a problem. But like if I was like, yo, if I ever came across you know, uh, the big show I would Hit him at the knees with a bat like that you can't get me in trouble for that because that's too Much of a big show. That's the first person. I thought of I know sadly. That's the first person I thought of I Have you ever found a while? I found a wallet. Tell me about yours I was on the bike show me yours. I'll show you mine. Okay I should
Starting point is 00:39:40 I was on a bike ride and I like rode past a wallet that was in the street and he go, yo, was that a So I double back. Yeah, which I don't even know what that expression means. Where was it? Um by l.i.c. Oh, that's the high school. That's big. Oh, no, never mind. I was gonna say You said l.i.c. I'm like long island city. That's big wallet town. No, it was on l.i.c. The high school Yeah, small wallet whatever street that was I don't whatever street that's on it's on an avenue And that might be like broad it's broadway and 21st. Yes. So but it was one block over it wasn't 21st
Starting point is 00:40:11 It was one block over so I was biking and I saw something in the street was like on the yellow line And I was like, was that a wallet? So I go back And I see the wallet so I pick up the wallet and I look around There's no one around because there's a school and then it's like pretty industrial is no one around So I was like, uh, so I just put it in my pocket and cab riding and I think I was with boss incriminating him now Um, and I what is it associate? No Yeah guilty by association. Yeah, that's right. So I uh I catch up to boss and I go, yo, I just found a wallet and he goes is there money and I was like, I don't know
Starting point is 00:40:45 So we pull over I open the wallet big wallet fat wallet fat lot and there's Foreign money in it, but the bills are big One of them is 10,000 It's like yen though because it wasn't yen yen is like they all like it's all in pennies So like 10,000 yen you're like, whoa, it's like 10 bucks bro. I found So there was there was like three 10,000. There was one 1,000 Then there was one like five. So I in my head. I'm going bro
Starting point is 00:41:14 If there's a five And a 10,000 like that's a pretty big Like this is the five isn't gonna be one cent like you're not carrying that shit around So I'm like there has to be something So we're like, yo, this is crazy And I just take all the money out and I was like I just left it
Starting point is 00:41:34 I put it back where I found it. Damn. I wouldn't you didn't even get you didn't even tell the person that That well, no, actually I tried but they they It was everything was in another language. So I didn't even know how to read it. Oh, gotcha Um, because it wasn't like a like a new york license. That's a little evil joe That's a little evil to you. Well, I took the money. I put the wallet back But then I also looked it up. Well, actually, no, I know you know what you're going to like get like the money converted I'm like, so that's the thing. I didn't take the money. I was going to take the money I I remember pulling it out and being like, I'm gonna go put this wallet back
Starting point is 00:42:05 But then we were like, let's look up how much this is worth And I was like, how am I even gonna use this and then we're like, well, we can go to the airport and just like exchange it so I look it up bro. All those bills that I found it totaled up to like 40 50 thousand or something It was like 11. Yeah, it's fucking pennies. So I just put it all back in the long. I put it back in the street Yeah, I can even form that's a little that was that was nice. I didn't have as nice I would have fucking took that shit though, bro And that's the other thing if I'm giving you your wallet four thousand dollars in cash
Starting point is 00:42:36 You would be like, yo here take fucking 300 bucks. Thank you. So because 100 bro What's in the wallet is way more expensive than the fucking wallet itself. Me. It's about time, bro I gotta I gotta talk to the fucking companies now. I gotta fucking go to the dmv Well, not even that like god forbid someone like use the card like the card Like that's what's going to be the biggest fucking headache because then you have to tell them like all these are bullshit Yeah, you know like that's if I if someone fucking handed me back my wallet, I'd be like, you know, take 500 bucks You know what I mean? Like or like at least I never carry more than like I never carry 200 dollars
Starting point is 00:43:09 But like the most on average I carry is like maybe 40 to 60 you always have like fucking like 38 dollars worth of singles like in your fucking drawer. Well that happened because I Took money out at a strip club in Miami, but that was like two years ago And it's still there because I don't carry singles. So like I just I put them in a drawer in my old apartment Let me take them. I'll take those singles. I'll fucking take this single watch what I'll do with them No, sometimes I like when I remember I'm like, oh, I'm gonna take this to like tip the bartenders or something Oh, that's smart. Yeah, I was gonna say sunflower seeds. So that's probably a lot No, I use them for like tips and stuff
Starting point is 00:43:47 But that's why I had all those singles I had like a hundred thousand singles that I didn't spend there So I was like, uh, my mind was not as as cool as nice of a story. So I was at uh, it was my freshman year of college I was at a bar a club in downtown New Haven called alchemy Bro, this place was fucking disgusting This was the place that like I'm if you talk to some of our other friends that that went to school in that area Like they'll be like, oh, yeah alchemy or elevate. It was like they were like two peas in a pod They were the places that did like foam parties that you would go up and you would get soaked from head to toe It was the most unsanitary thing in the world
Starting point is 00:44:21 You'd be drinking soap at one point because like foam would get a new drink um And I remember I I looked on the floor outside the bathroom and I saw Like a fat black wallet. So I was like, oh shit like all right. I went down. I looked at the name I saw like the college ID. I think they they went to Yale or something like that. Oh, you gotta take that So I look and there's only like 40 bucks in cat 220s and I was like Bing bomb 40 bucks. I'm taking that from anybody. I took that money. I did. I feel I feel bad and I
Starting point is 00:44:55 Today me as the person I am today Wouldn't do that. I was also inebriated not that that's an excuse for my actions But that that definitely played into the lack of a thought process. I find a wallet in church I'm taking 40 but then I took the wallet and I gave it to the bartender and I gave it to them I was like, look someone dropped this and they were like, was there cash in it? And I was like, I don't know and then I instantly put two for 20s down and said like give me eight beers You know, I gotta clean this money clean this money now
Starting point is 00:45:23 you know, but uh like I I would think that like It's different for college and in my I swear to god the thought process was like they go to Yale They'll be fine. They'll be all right. Dad'll send some money. Yeah, literally They probably like this was not money for that. It's just money for like their underpaid fucking child labor workers or something You know, so I guess uh if I find 40 bucks in a wallet I mean, I would probably just hand someone's wallet back like whatever. I'm talking about like if I'm 16 to 22 and I find a wallet whatever's in it. I'm taking also
Starting point is 00:45:55 Well, that's the other thing. I was fucking broke his dog. Shit like if anything if you wanted anyone to have it It's me at the bar anyone who finds my wallet The cash is yours. Yeah, just give me my fucking wallet. Yeah. Yeah, and I don't even can't like I don't even want to know if you're take like just don't even say anything just be like here's your wallet I'd say thank you and I wouldn't even think about I would check with the cash And I would ask them like if there was any like I would want to at least know if they're fucking with me You know, I wouldn't want to know. I'd be like, bro. You earned it. Thank you. Well, how do you? I don't know because I'm what if you find out that they also like fucked with your card
Starting point is 00:46:27 You know what I mean like then I would find out then you would be but what am I gonna do? Am I gonna hold this guy and give him a no you can just stay right there, bitch So go anywhere the cops run away I I think the appropriate thing to do is like bro. Listen everyone's strapped for cash No one realistically like if you can like afford to lose $4,000 fucking Goddamn that's a crazy amount of money, but like Be a little like they they did like the more important things they gave it to you back Now if you get the card back and you find that they ran up expensive fucking different. Yeah, but I'm the type of person like I've been in
Starting point is 00:47:01 Like bro, I've like found like a $20 bill on the floor and I've gone up to people in the general vicinity like yo Did you lose money? No. No. No. No. I don't do that because anyone would say yes. No Well, you don't tell them how much that's the trick is you say did you lose money and if they say yes Be like how much you don't tell them what you found, you know, because like you've got a 20 in your hand and they're like, oh um, you know Five five dollars be like, all right, never mind then I know they're fucking lying and I'm gonna take the money I would just take it any time I ever find money in the far. I go Bro the most evil shit I ever found
Starting point is 00:47:38 Was it looked like I was walking in downtown new haven again And it was a fucking it like a folded up hundred dollar bill on the floor And I picked it up and I went to open it and it was a business card And it was like a real estate agent's business card or some shit And it was made to look like a folded hundred bro. I was furious I actively was like if I ever need a real estate agent anyone but you anyone but this fucking douchebag But uh, yeah, man, just give them the money $4,000. Why are you carrying that?
Starting point is 00:48:13 Well, like you said, I mean Like Times Square is a touristy place So maybe someone just like took the money out and was like, I'm just not gonna go to atm there I'm just gonna spend the cash $4,000 dude, bro. I don't know. It's an expensive city. I guess it's an expensive city But like you need to work hard to spend $4,000 on vacation in Manhattan. Yeah, you do Honestly and like as expensive as new york is Bro $4,000 spending a weekend is ridiculous. Oh a week. That's a lot of money Like you don't get me wrong. You can absolutely spend it
Starting point is 00:48:42 But it's not gonna be like you're gonna have to go to like dinner every night every night at a good place And like drinks and get a bottle of wine And you know and like cabs from fucking, you know, 80 mile cabs both ways Or get in one of those one where the guy just kind of runs you down the street Oh, yeah, why do they still do those? I don't know. Have you ever been on the horses? Fuck no Me neither. I feel like I would be doing something real fucked up if I did My sister is ridiculous, bro We were by central park and she's there's this little probably sweet old
Starting point is 00:49:12 Swedish couple that barely speaks english and they're in new york for the first time and they're sitting in this carriage Because they think it's nice and whatever and my sister's walking on the sidewalk just and She's not talking to them. She's like, I feel so bad for the horses. It's like torture and it's I'm like, shut the fuck up You're ruining their anniversary. They can't understand english as much as far as she knows I'm assuming there were just old people who had blonde hair. I assume swedish. They're definitely swedish I can I can say that with absolute certainty I can say that too and they don't care about our horses over here The swedish are like, yo like you got nothing cool that we want. We got our fish
Starting point is 00:49:46 What fish swedish fish? Oh, you know I want to go to sweden You'll be there soon switzerland actually you'll be in both of them. I assume within the next four years Probably honestly, you're going to fucking mikonos to hang out with the oh speaking of butt stuff Yeah, you're gonna get your butt looked at Absolutely, hope so possibly Touched. No, uh, well, you're gonna be like hanging out and like on my whole or like my cheek your cheek Oh, maybe you're like your ghosts will be walking by and just be like
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Starting point is 00:51:34 Shopify.com Basement um and lastly here we have true bill. It's a new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions You don't need one or simply forgot about sometimes you try you do a free trial for something And you forget about and you end up paying for it for two years and you have no idea That actually happens to a lot of people Apparently a ton of people on average people save up to 720 dollars a year with true bill because they're paying $720 a year on things that they don't even realize they're paying for so if anything This is just to make sure that you're not paying for something that you're not aware about
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Starting point is 00:52:35 slash basement Yeah, and Lastly here before we wrap up on this wondrous show One wondrous Can you just put that all together? I can't speak Frank Well, clearly you couldn't say philanthropists before. Yeah, I know yo that was
Starting point is 00:52:55 honestly scary Word association go bookcase one now. Why is that? Because it's the first thing you saw the same thing on patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard Which you can check out now join now. We already told everyone if we get to 10,000 patrons what's gonna happen and if you didn't know guess what that means I am going to get a Brazilian wax not happy about it I feel even worse for the person that would be administering it, but hey, we might not get there, but if we administering
Starting point is 00:53:22 But if we do It'll be after we reach 10,000 patrons if you join now You'll get all the past episodes that we've ever had up there all that weekly exclusive basement yard content Right now, and then if you join that lower tier you get these weekly episodes a week in advance So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard Joey. Go ahead. What was that? Why is he breathing fire stretching? He's so annoying right now. Yeah, he needs he needs daddy. He needs attention. Um, but no, I just wanted to say, um, apparently you know Apparently the war's over because uh, you know, there was a woman who came out with a with a
Starting point is 00:54:04 Spoken word death poetry. What is it? Well as we know here at Santa gato studios slam poetry heals all It does and uh, the best way to bring a smile to one's face solve all the world's problems if it's not Kendall Jenner handing a Pepsi to someone which that could work that did work It did work notice since then no more racism. No or yeah, nothing. Tell me last time you saw a racism I haven't seen I haven't seen one in some time since Kendall Jenner handed a Pepsi to a cop I thought one day I saw a racism, but I was wrong. You were and you know why because it's a Pepsi world is healed with Pepsi. Yeah, uh, so I haven't seen one racism all day name a racism Um, but anyway, I love when people do that where they're like, who do you think's more racist Trump or biden?
Starting point is 00:54:51 And it was like, how do we measure this? How the fuck do you figure this out? It's kind of a yes or no. Yeah, you're either racist or you're not. No one is a more racist um Shane gills has a fun uh, funny uh, bit on that where he's like he's like racism is like being hungry. He's like Maybe you're not racist right now, but Give it a couple tomorrow. Maybe Like a couple hours you might be and then after, you know, you're racist for a little bit and they have a million You're like, oh, I'm okay. What did I do? I'm good. Yeah
Starting point is 00:55:21 What did I say? Um, but uh, yeah, so this woman Anna Lynn McCord I don't know who that is I well, she's a she's an icon now, but she had a spoken word poem uh that she wrote for the sweetheart Vlad putt body poots who You know, we don't fuck with Vlad poop at all. I think No, no, no, look Frankie. Okay. We do not. Okay. We don't
Starting point is 00:55:47 I don't I don't know This stephano had a bit where he was saying he was like, bro Putin's not gonna go over there Yeah, I mean, Biden's not gonna go over there if Putin's invading Ukraine He's like have Putin like lock up someone that's trans. Biden's gonna be there. Yeah. Yeah, so I'm saying that but uh, he uh She she dude every time something happens in the world. I don't know why but people feel like You know what? I need to make this about me and I need to perform It's a tricky line because I do understand
Starting point is 00:56:21 Using your voice and ability to show support for other people because I you know, I'll be the first person I was very supportive of you know People of color, you know during black lives matter stuff and I remain supportive But how that support looks is not always the best thing And I think that's what you're getting at here I think like since you're into fucking collecting toys and stuff if you were like You you took a picture of all your action figures like this Then you'd be like the fuck is
Starting point is 00:56:51 You're like, there's just easier ways to Like do it. That's a pretty cool picture. I got the I got the power ranges with disposable thumbs. I could do it Oh my god, um, but this woman wrote a like spoken word thing Whenever the fuck it was and it's called and the first line is dear president vladimir pudin I am so sorry that that I was not your mother Stop there and Yeah, what how did you write that line and be like I need to elaborate? She was watching it and going oh, he's bombing children's hospitals and schools
Starting point is 00:57:25 If I just loved him if I Then and it's like lady. I know what she's trying to say, but it's like bro. What are you saying? This is not the time bro. Also. It's like the imagine video. Oh Shut the fuck up gal. Good doll bro. Not even just gal. Good. Oh, it was like fucking chris pine christen wig which I love chris pine and christen wig big big fat problem They were in that video There was a couple of people in that video that I love there was one like people I didn't even know who they were and they were just singing. Yeah, uh, but like it's it's one of those things were like
Starting point is 00:57:58 I understand the intent behind what you're doing But the execution falls like a lead fucking balloon if I was your mother you would have been so loved Held in the arms of joyous light Never would this story's plight the world unfurled before our eyes The guys bombing children dude Fuck this guy. This is not about why are we then saying like oh if only mommy loved you more and it was like If only mommy loved you more The guy guys. Oh my god, bro. And listen. I I love my mom when I think of my mom
Starting point is 00:58:33 I don't remember her cradling me and rocking me to sleep. I remember her fucking looking me in the face and saying get the fuck to sleep Damn, I just rhymed there damn. That was fucking that was fucking sick. Damn slam poker Yeah, that's crazy um But yeah, dude like she was defending her choice. She said if certain circumstances of my life were different Where I a little less bent toward healing and more towards vindication. I could have been a darkly powerful person Listen Voldemort, what are you saying?
Starting point is 00:59:04 Poetry was cool to show support in like the 40s when like we didn't know who was writing it But like now where we can see the person and it's like someone sitting in like their well off fucking You know Montana home We don't we don't need it. I just like I I don't know I find these things to be just like very shallow and pedantic It's just ingenuous. Yeah, it feels like oh, I'm going to be just like I don't know. I hate when people do that like it's like look at me like I did a cool thing wasn't that song really nice bro s n l made a skit where It was like a pre-tape skit where like Beck Bennett did that where he did those videos where it was like
Starting point is 00:59:42 Mr. President It's time to sit down So we can speak up and then it's like the aftermath of him being like Dude, I gotta share this video and it's like it's such a fucking like And that's what all social media really is but it's like you're shooting yourself in the foot We're like again, I get that you want to show support But we live in a world that is constantly just bashing you in the face with content and content and content that people confuse support with just having to say something bro, and I also
Starting point is 01:00:11 recently Like on tiktok. There's just some drama between these two people or something like who's the drama who are the tiktokers? I don't I don't really Charlie pooth That's one of them right no no Charlie was legitimate like pop star Anyway, um, yeah, you didn't know who doji cat was I don't I still don't so there was these two people I don't know something's going on between them But this girl Was making these tiktoks and like maybe something happened to her and that's not the point
Starting point is 01:00:40 I'm not you know speaking about like what actually happened But there is something I believe a little fucking crazy About and even if this I don't really know the details of what happened But even if it was like super serious There is something strange about going on tiktok And speaking in such a like poetic cadence
Starting point is 01:01:03 with a ring light and like Your everything's like your makeup done and stuff or whatever or even like crying even like all of this stuff And then there's like a sad song in the background like this is a production Like you have you are completely like disassociated. You don't realize how crazy this looks Well, that's that that's the thing that is the part of me like that always gets me is like Bro, if you're just like on a whim like you're giving a speech and you you break into something or like an award show or something like that Very different because it's like you're up there and you're saying what's there like with all these fucking videos. They need to Plan it. They need to do the lighting. They need to do the edit
Starting point is 01:01:41 They need to do and then afterward they think all that stuff they go through and they're like I am actively posting this like you can't take a position of like fucking like I get it on a whim like no, this isn't a whim We've lost the ability to like fucking reason With doing these things. So we just like put it out there But I also just don't understand the production. You're right. I don't know why people feel the need to to share all that I mean, I would just I mean I get why they do it but I think that if they thought about it a little more than they wouldn't because
Starting point is 01:02:12 That's why I feel like you just need to Have some things for yourself Like otherwise you're constantly performing for people and you have no idea who you are and like these this woman specifically She was speaking About something but she was saying stuff and then I cried myself to sleep in a ball of misery like like really like like a book And I'm like one no one talks like this, you know Like so clearly you had written this and like memorized it like and that's what it felt like and maybe I'm wrong But but that's what it felt like she was saying stuff like that like it was very poetic and like
Starting point is 01:02:46 And there was a weird cadence and I've watched some of her other videos and she doesn't sound like that So in this video specifically she did it on purpose right and it's like This is a performance and that's why I'm looking at this and I'm like I don't know what's going on But it feels disingenuous and it feels like this isn't real it feels like a perform It's like how can I feel sympathy? See the the only thing though is that like I I I Think that the person in their head And I don't mean any disrespect to this girl like you know, I'm sure she's getting shit from the rest of the internet
Starting point is 01:03:17 So I'm not going to be the person I'm sure it she has a good heart like I'm sure in her heart It was like she wants to do something and she believed in that moment that fucking going through and posing that recording posting that video was the smart thing for her to do and Again if her heart is in the right place all for it the part that gets me is that like we live in such a world We're like we confuse and and basically just All of our interactions happen basically in the palm of our hands with the world So if it's not in any of those forms and it's not on twitter
Starting point is 01:03:49 It's not on instagram. It's not on tick tock or facebook It's like there's less value to it And that's the part that drives me nuts is like that we in order to Express themselves in this manner and that's really what social media is. It's just expression on a large scale We we have to put it for the world to see where the reality is like bro You want to support there's many ways to support you don't need to sing it from the rooftops And does that sound a little bit hypocritical? Absolutely because like I said with the black lives matter Movement from the beginning to now like I've been very outspoken, but at the same time like there's a point where
Starting point is 01:04:23 It does become a performance. It does become Disingenuous it does become selfish to not kind of take a backseat when you are not the target of the of the movement You know what I mean? I I just like I think it's a very slippery slope especially for kids um To Because now what I feel like is like people in high school, right?
Starting point is 01:04:45 Like everyone goes through a breakup and everyone gets upset and everyone gets depressed and has anxiety and stuff but People who are starting now. I feel like one of the first thoughts when going through those things at least now Are people go how can I monetize this or how can I whatever so it's like? Oh, I'm going to make a five-part TikTok like five different tiktoks talking about the situation. There's going to be a sad song playing I'm going to use my ring light. I'm going to say it in this way. I'm going to prepare what I say I'm going to edit it like like and now it's like Dude, you you literally are dealing with some serious trauma
Starting point is 01:05:21 But you're ignoring it and you're creating like a piece of content for other people because you're like this is this is an Opportunity for me. Well, we use the heartbreak or any of these things. It's like, okay. I'm going to Now I can I can be when I'm going to make Hating my x content or like like turning your trauma into content to me is like weird Yeah, and and and we use it under the veil like people that do it use the veil of like well I want to know people that they're not alone out there because like I felt alone and stuff like that and it's like You are alienating the people in your immediate circle in order to get the attention of people that you have one never met
Starting point is 01:05:55 And two will probably never meet and it doesn't make sense and especially well I guess we're kind of looping it back. But it's it also is like there is a way to do that that there there's a clear difference between talking about your trauma so that you can help other people and bring awareness to a problem and also just creating like Jokey silly content and like playing a role like I'm not saying anyone who gets on the internet who cries is disingenuous I do think that that is a strange behavior to get on the internet and feel like you owe it to someone to Explain something you're going through like because you don't like I don't give a fuck who you are
Starting point is 01:06:38 You don't need to explain to anyone who follows you like what is going on in your life If you don't want to if you want to that's a different story But I like also just don't think like I think that's a slippery slope for people like For me doing a social media for as long as I have I've been through these like It's I've been doing it long enough to see things like happen and whatever I can tell you that a lot of people who have been on the internet as long as I have I don't even know what the fuck they're up to anymore
Starting point is 01:07:03 Like I feel like as you are on it long enough you you start to become a recluse You you want to hide everything well because people believe that you have to be the exact same person online that you are in real life And if that is not your identity if the if what you are portraying online is not your entire identity It's you're like devalued for it and you're like looked upon in like negative ways. What it is is like the attention is Everything so when you first start doing it and you first start getting attention from the internet You're like this feels amazing So you so you're like all right, so people want to know more about my life So you start doing this you start vlogging of you like not doing much, but you start like doing whatever and like
Starting point is 01:07:40 You know whatever there's no real like thought or purpose You're like I just need to get more of myself out there And then eventually when you get all the attention and you start to realize like okay I'm in a comfortable spot financially or whatever. It's like I don't need to be doing this and this doesn't make me feel good And it feels weird that people are expecting to know about personal parts of my life or or like whatever So it's like uh, and you start like closing these doors Because you're like I don't need to do that like we can perform and we can entertain and be this person
Starting point is 01:08:08 But I don't need to get on the internet and cry whenever i'm going through something or you know, whatever and I understand people Are different Yeah I understand people are different, but dude That video specifically like it made me so sad because it really made me and again, maybe i'm wrong But I know i'm not wrong and that this happens for other people, but this woman It really felt like she was taking something that hurt her feelings and maybe even like
Starting point is 01:08:37 Exaggerating how sad she is about it And using certain language and creating this performance. It literally sounded like spoken word I was like this doesn't sound like that's what it was and then and then it like became this whole thing and i'm like That you're just suppress it like you're not that's not dealing with it like it's just like you're suppressing I'm sad you be sad too. What's like feel it's I don't know what it is What's like you're playing the role of like I went through this and i'm strong now And it's like if you're just playing the role you're not actually that you're not dealing with it So it's going to come back up and like I just don't think that's healthy. Like I hope you motherfuckers are in therapy, dude
Starting point is 01:09:12 Damn, you know, honestly if you have a social media account, you should be in therapy 100% so everyone Literally everyone. I think the only people that probably are like, I'm good or the ones that don't fucking see any of this shit Everyone else should be in it though. Interesting. I I really believe that because eventually Unless you don't spend a lot of time on the internet if you spend a lot of time a lot of time on the internet But i'm telling you You're gonna need a therapist. You're gonna You think you don't but you're gonna you think you got a grip on it. I thought that too
Starting point is 01:09:42 Yeah, I think you do but i'm telling you look at him now. He's miserable and rich I'm not miserable at all. I'm actually very happy. Wow. He didn't even say he wasn't rich. Damn. God, um ladies and gentlemen We can't end we can't end with like super serious talk. Not not in this city word association go barracuda One two three four one two three four why why do you keep saying one? Why is that the first place you're going go word association go titanium? Shit, I want to know where I don't I don't know where Go I got it. Oh, how do you you don't know what word i'm gonna do. I know go go. Okay word association bamboo Stick
Starting point is 01:10:20 Okay, you started a little bit. You said it a little bit word association rubber Puh I wanted to say tires, but I started saying puh something. Why why puh? I don't know go. All right I'm gonna give you two more and that's it. Okay? Why sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah, my eyes went wide. Okay go word association envelope I almost said plug you almost had nothing came out. Why what happened to you one one one go one one one go go go
Starting point is 01:10:51 Um word association dog rough Rough that's a good one rough. I got that out pretty quick. Okay, you're hurting me If I was your dad Oh message to joseph sanagato, here we go if I was your dad I'd hold you tight kiss your golden lips as the sun rose upon the clouds If I was your dad Perrest your silky smooth back. Let you know that nothing is here to harm you If I was your dad
Starting point is 01:11:31 I would hold you close again. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of hold this whole lot. I'd hold you close again Let you know That I'm here If I was your dad, I'd let you drink from my nip I'd let you drink from my nip from my nip. Do you know that if you suck on a dude's nipple for long enough There's milk in it. Nah. Yeah, I heard that bro 12,000 patrons you suck my nipple until I milk neither may take 10 hours Well, yeah, so no we got we got 10 hours of spear. I know I don't okay
Starting point is 01:12:05 If alvers 8085 on twitter the fray calvers on twitch and instagram remember go check out the patreon patreon.com Slash the baseman yard that first tier you get these weekly episodes a week in advance. You see those comments Six days ago. What happened? Guess what from the patrons, baby? And then that next tier right there you get exclusive content every friday morning start and end your week with the baseman yard Best way to do it patreon.com slash the baseman yard 10 000 patrons. I'm getting a brasilian Wax nice and that is uh, I go follow the show at the baseman yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all see you guys next time

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