The Basement Yard - #356 - I'm Terrified Of Teenagers
Episode Date: July 25, 2022Joe and Frank discuss how scary teenagers can be! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the base
Welcome back to the basement yard Frank, how's it going bud? I uh, you know
Doing quite well. Okay living the dream
It's hot. I was just gonna say it's or it's hot in here. I'm gonna sweat hot town summer in the city
It is currently right now. It's summer. Is it the summer yet? I don't
It's july. Yeah, it's the fucking okay. I don't know. There's always these weird dates
Like it could be summer at the beginning of june where then people would be like not technically it's spring
No, no, no, it's I think it was like june 20th or something
We should switch because I know it works off of like the sun and the moon and the planets
Uh, what date time the seasons summer solstice
Spring equinox, what's a solstice? Yeah
Same. Yeah, I don't know. No, I I I'm pretty sure it's when we're like
Like this. Oh good explanation because
What is that the earth it rotates it revolves and then it also does this
It's an oversimplified way of saying it so it tilts you mean yes, right?
And I think where our summer is when we're tilted this towards the sun. Yes
So we're soul sting right now. We're soul sting right now. Yeah, and uh, and then we'll source backwards the other way
We yeah, we like, you know, we're for the winter comes and we're just like
Yeah, yeah, fat jolene back fat jolene back at terra squad. Yes, the you the new york is terra squad during the winter months
Gotcha. You got you guys. Uh, but yeah, it's it's a it's a hot boy in here. Yeah, it's a steamy one
It was hot outside. I picked a bad day to wear all black. Yeah all black head to toe head to toe all black literally all black
Yeah, uh, but I'm glad to be here as I always am. Yeah, uh, live in the dream. How are you? I'm good. I actually saw something today
That was very fucking strange and I wanted to bring it up on the drive here
My two hour drive in because traffic wait real quick on this drive. Did you piss in a bottle?
I didn't this time. Wow, but I did cut it close and once I got here. I ran inside
That'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I caught caught really really close. You're really punishing that bladder. I feel you know, it's uh
Someone's got to pay someone's got to pay someone someone is paying. I think someone's someone's need to be held accountable
Yeah, all right, and for everything that my bladder has put me through I put it right fucking back got it
Uh, but I was driving here. No pee in the bottle. Okay
But I do have bottles in my car
I believe it that are not currently with pee
But are ready for it ready for piss yet
I go to like a like a deli or get like a drink and I look at a bottle and just wonder like open mouth good for pee
Yeah, most of them. Can you pee in like a regular?
Like a pepsi bottle or something could I or have I or will I or the answer is yes to all three
I'm saying if like are those the bottles you usually go for you try to get like a Gatorade. No, I I
I'm not a sociopath and just drinks Gatorade
By the way
Yeah, people do that
Power rate I haven't drank and I don't do that. Okay. Just want to make sure no, I don't uh, I drink uh pure leaf
Like the pure leaf tea. Those are big openings. They got big openings. I got a long neck though
So it's deceit deceivingly not that much liquid. I was gonna say I was gonna say
Yeah, I've had to cut it off a couple times
And then you know little dribble drabble on my on my pants. We know no big deal
Just pour some hand sanitizer on it good as new. Yeah
That's still fucking the craziest thing they've ever heard but uh, what did you see?
So I was driving and I drive when I come here since I'm coming from jersey
I I take the Holland tunnel. I find that's the easiest way and that brings you through
South Manhattan, you know back to soho that general area and
I was driving and uh, there was you know summertime hot town summer in the city
Why do you keep saying that? What does that mean? It's a good song. You don't know that song. What is it?
Hot town summer in the city
I think it's by the Loving Spoons. I think it's called look it up. Oh
Uh, but there was a girl walking across the street in a sundress and like a typical girl
You would expect to see like a like in the Tribeca soho area, you know like rich
Possibly but wearing those like influencer like hats that are just like the hat and then just like a huge big brim
Yeah, big, uh, Kentucky Derby brim big time. Yeah, um sandals
Duh, you know flowing sundress big tits
I
I couldn't tell you I was more
Astonished at the fact that she was standing on the corner waiting across the street carrying, you know, like a designer bag
Right with a cigar
Not a cigarette
Not a cigarette. She was ripping a stove dude ripping a fucking cubano
Really dude, I couldn't like wait. It's 10 a.m. Yeah
So this was like at least a half an hour ago. I would say it was closer to 9 30
9 30 a.m. Cigar on the street of new york city now listen
If you how old was she?
Mid to late 20s not around our age. I would say
What the fuck?
Bro, I was astonished. First of all a morning cigar
You only hear about in two places
Fucking cigar shops and obituaries. Yeah, and also just like old Italian men wearing fedoras
I would say like
Like Cuban men off-track bedding if you smoke more than one cigar a day
That's crazy questionable, dude. That's wild. What was it for? I think you should leave
It's like hugging these dolls tammy craps are like smoking five macanudos a day
I uh
The only time I've ever seen women smoking cigars is when they're wearing their boyfriend's suit jacket at like a wedding
Yeah, I would even I I've never seen a wedding one all the ones I've seen have been like
sorority formals or like fraternity formals, which are just parties
Got it. And they're just like
Pretending to know how to smoke a cigar along with the other guys there that don't know how to smoke a cigar
Right. Uh, are you gatekeeping cigar smoking by the way? I am not it sounds like the cigar smoking community is a bit of a gatekeeping community
It's like star trek
You're either in from the beginning or you're not a fucking part of it
I guess they do that thing where sometimes they go in cigar shops and they have weird looking cigars
Like some of them like legit look like cocks. Oh, yeah, all of them look like dark cocks like like dark long cocks
Yeah, bro
It's it's so funny that like we have like cigar efficient audio like magazines
And like we we we measure machismo with like people that drink scotch and smoke cigars. Hey guys
Cigars look like penises. Yeah, so smoking penises
Who was the rapper that said that young thug young thug? We smoke in penises. We smoke in penises, man
Yeah, uh, but I couldn't
It was such like a
Like are we living in a simulation moment because I couldn't that made no sense
Understand what I was watching. I would have had to pull over and question the woman
Be like, can you just tell me what's going on because I'm very confused. I want to know what's going on
You need to like I I enjoy cigars, but I don't I don't smoke them as often. I would say I have one maybe a month
Maybe yeah
I have like two a year
Maybe and and yeah, and and that's during the summer like I don't from fucking
October until march. I probably don't have any
I honestly think it's a little fucking crazy to do the whole like scotch cigar thing. I know they like pair well or whatever, but
scotch
Makes my throat feel like
A demon fucked it. Yes, and then a cigar makes it seem like I ate a chimney
So like that combination for the next three days. I smell like an old like chimney sweeper. I have to
because
When Becca was pregnant with ruby
I would have to her she was so sensitive to smell that when I would go have a cigar. I would put a robe on
smoked my cigar
Either have tea or or scotch with it and then I would come in and basically have to like
Shower I would leave the robe outside. I'd have to wash my face hands and hair
Like an extra brushing of my teeth
Like I it was it was I mean, they're stinky dude. They're a stinky babe. I don't really like them
Uh, but the the cigar smoking community is a little bit of a gatekeeper
I honestly I would only smoke a cigar at this point like
If there was a thing the last time I had a cigar it was like a rangers playoff game
And we were in Connecticut and I was like, all right, whatever that was that was a good name
And I didn't even finish it like I didn't like half of it or something. I wouldn't even say half
Maybe not
And I spoke out like good cigars. Yeah, I was like this is an awesome idea and then I
Started smoking a little bit. I was like I hate this. Well, you had also been beat up from that day
You were drinking all day
So you were you were was I yeah, you were hurting that whole day. Oh, yeah, we were playing a lot of games
I think that no that was that was Friday night, which is when I got there got it. You were there
I think you hung out with like my sister and Danny that day and you were drinking that day at their house. I think so
Oh, yeah, I could be wrong. Nonetheless
Uh, yeah, man. Anytime I go into a cigar shop. They're like, uh
All right, so what do you like light medium dark full halfway. Wait, what's full full body?
You never had a full body. Well, you know if you had a full body. I like light dude
I don't like this like darts. It feels like I'm smoking like the fall
Bro, I had a full body cigar once and I was falling asleep. I saw one. Literally. It was like this thick
That's like who's smoking this thing caught thickness doesn't matter. Of course it does
It's no it's all about the power of power of the tobacco
Oh
I don't like it. It there. Yeah, man. They they'll get you but they're they're you know how they are
Just like most people like with like, you know, if you hear a girl say she likes sports, you're like, oh, yeah
Name four sports. Yeah, you know fuck cigars, dude. No, also this girl's a psycho path either way like I mean
Sundress so ho
You know mid to late 20s
Smoking a cigar that's just like what are we talking about? I couldn't it looks like she was leaving on a midnight train to mesothelioma
Yeah, I don't
Wait mesothelioma. Yeah, isn't that a lung thing? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. I thought you were trying to say like mesopotamia
And I was like, dude, you're talking about diseases
Also mesopotamia
Not a place anymore. Oh, what is that? It's like an ancient place. Yeah, I mean, it's a place though
It's like the like
Old very like at lannis. Is that real by the way? I don't know man. You're asking questions
Atlanta's real the city under the sea or whatever. I would I would hope not. Oh, you know, that's where a little mermaid is from
Well, I don't know. No, it's based off of like apparently a real place. Oh, okay
Like I was gonna say vitiligo, but that's the skin pigmentation. That is, you know, we've been wrong for the last three minutes
So I what are we gonna get right here?
Wait, what are you saying vitiligo? Pompeii
Oh, Pompeii. That's the lava the volcano got those. That's a real place. Yeah, of course the the volcano got him though
Yeah, okay. No awful. You need to be to die from a volcano. Well, I don't know about that. But you know what?
I actually don't know too much about volcanoes, but I have seen Dante's peak with pierce bross and then you remember that
Yeah, I do remember that also that guy is still hot. Jesus Christ. But anyway, I still got it
The the the lava in that movie it moves pretty slow. That's a thing. I just drive out of there
I would say like even just a brisk walk away from it
You'd be okay. Well, it you know, it really it doesn't stop. It's a liquid. You know, it just kind of goes
Yeah, but then just go into guess what the ocean
Yeah, but I think they were landlocked. I think it was in like, Colorado or something. I'm making that up
Oh, yeah, that might be a problem. But they were like they were landlocked. It wasn't like they could just like
They're not in San Diego where they'd be like, oh
Yeah, I don't I don't it's just going to like knee deep in the water and you're fine fill up your bathtub and that's it
Yeah, I I haven't seen time to speak in quite a while bro. I when I was younger. I was
Super afraid of two things
tornadoes
And lava well twister wasn't very scary movie
Well, I thought that anytime it rained it would be a tornado
Bro, there are tornadoes that touch down like 30 minutes from my house all the time
Really?
Yeah, and there was one that like before we moved in touchdown
I like how we're like first of all great storm catching. Yeah
Uh
Like at our block a couple like maybe a year before we moved in that's fire dude. No, you have a basement
Yeah, we also have fucking people in our house that we need to worry about. Yeah, get them downstairs
Your roof though. I'd be worried about that. Oh, yeah, that thing. I've already fucking right the fuck off
Yeah
When we got the roof done they were like, oh, this won't don't worry about it storms won't pull this thing off
Just be careful about tornadoes and I was like, how am I going to protect myself? Yeah
Don't just fucking holding the ring and hold it down as best as I can
No, but yeah, so this girl was a clear psychopath psychopath. What a way to start a morning. Yeah. Yeah. That's a girl that lives fast
Yeah, also the other morning
I started my day by finding out about the zack wilson story where he like zack wilson new quarterback for the new york jets
Him and his girlfriend broke up and allegedly the reason why they broke up is because he was fucking his mom's friend
His mom's best friend best friend. Make sure you put the best slamming because there's a difference, right?
You know, that's a that's aggressive. Dude. Yeah, but also
Well, first of all, don't cheat. Well, yeah, but like second of all
Kind of rad. Is he a Mormon?
I think so. He went to byu and I feel like you have to be you have to like
You have to be a Mormon to go to byu. You have to fuck with with god and stuff
Well, I don't know what Mormons do soaking. You know what that is. You told me about it on the show
Yeah, oh, maybe that's what they were doing. No, he was fucking her. Oh, he was full on. Well, that's what allegedly he was fucking
We're not soaking her
Super soaking was she wait. What is it a bad thing though in the Mormon community? They're all
Polyamorous and polygamous. So I'm sure like there's no big issue, right? I think that's a generalization
It probably is and I've probably upset people but guess what? I don't know what a ladder day saint is
But that's something honestly
Just reminds me of the movie boondock saints
okay, uh
Ladder day saint like they're only good in the evening
and her okay
the mother of the just
quarterback Zach Wilson shared a crude message she received from a critic as
her 22 year old son
What happened? No, I was just trying to look okay
I gotta say as you're pulling that up. This is the best thing a jet's quarterback is done
So this is real like he's done it like confirmed like she's talking about it where she's saying like don't be a dick
I'm not in the mood like blah blah blah. She was like answering someone's fucking
Like a message someone said who like who are you giving current parenting advice to you know
You can just parent your kids without telling the world about it
Well, I don't know what that means. Maybe she had said something
Well, I think the way it came out was because surprise surprise the internet started to the girl that was his long time girlfriend
Posted a picture with his fucking college roommate who was also I think on the football team
And oh a little bit of revenge and oh, I don't know about revenge
But as the internet does they instantly started, you know, destroying her, you know, you're you know
I think they called her like a star fucker or something like that
And she responded like oh, I broke up with him because he fucked his mom's best friend
That's crazy move. I said it. Who's your mom's best friend?
My sister
Who's your mom's best friend probably your sister too
Yeah, I mean she has some friends, but I feel like there's a point when you first have kids
Like it's such like a like an isolating incident that like you kind of lose friends
And then you get friends later on in life again. Yeah, I'm speaking for women
Right. Yeah, as I'm allowed to do right you want me to do it hop in as a white guy or no
Do you do mine? I mean I could if you want I would really appreciate this is exactly what women do
But that's a powerful move though to bang your mom's friend
Again, I'll tell you like best thing a Jets quarterback has done
since
Chad Pennington. Oh no, Mark Sanchez
Yeah, since winning a couple games. Yeah abc championship, right? Yeah two years in a row 2009 2010 they got there. Guess what lost both
Yep, I mean it was the defense, but
Well, no, he played well in the playoffs go look at those playoff numbers. Yeah, but this probably trumps that
I would say this absolutely. Yeah trumps it. Yeah, and listen we we understand
We are not advocating for people not to be
you know
For seeking extra marital affairs or like cheating on their partner
But like if you're 22 though, if you're 22, you're the starting quarterback for the New York Jets
And your mom's friend your mom's best friend
Is she I don't know. I don't know
I mean Chavis, I assume
You need to establish yourself as a big time player as a big game guy
Got it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah
And just a hard nose run it down your throat football club. Wow. Yeah, that's a good way to put it
Exactly. I never thought it was right up the gut. Mm-hmm. You know splitting them right down the middle
Are you trying to make sexual innuendos now 100% I thought you were too. I was just talking about football. Oh, yeah
That's what you do well. Yeah, maybe she gave him the uh, have you heard about the siren gaze?
Siren siren gaze. I don't know. I when you say siren gaze. I think of just like loud. They're screaming. Yeah
No, that's not what I
Siren gaze. I meant gaze like
Oh, like yeah, not gaze like a gay. I've gazed upon the I've gazed you. I've not that I'm gonna
Gay you up now. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna gay you. Yeah. I'm gonna gaze you. I'm gonna gaze you. Yes
And these are the gays, you know, what is it? Is that what she gave him or he gave her?
Oh, I don't know, but it's just like this new thing going around. I saw an article on it. Um
Oh, we're done talking about Zach Wilson. Well, no, it's like, no, it's like it's sort of like like, you know
Tell me how you feel about this, right? Okay. Yeah, go ahead
Basically, it's like a gay it says master your siren gaze and use seduce a man's soul until it keeps moaning your name
Pretty dramatic way of saying that. Uh, this hypnotizing look inspires obsession
And I wrote a guide on how to teach all the girlies how to master your siren gaze
Okay, so kind of similar how on the other episode we did I've read the article about doing the best butt play
Sort of so you're gonna teach me how to do a good siren gaze to get the boys
Well, I think it's for women bud. Don't try to take everything from women
I mean, you've done so well at it. I might as well try myself. Don't even try to fucking do that
um
But so this girl gives a step by step on like tiktok or something. She said elevate your eyebrows
Narrow your eyes
Open your mouth slightly as if a breath of pleasure
Hold on hold on open your mouth slightly as if in a breath of pleasure
Open your mouth slightly
Oh
Reachers has been shown that this expression women have before the big
This is the expression that women have before the big. Oh, and this is what men's brand brains pick up on subconsciously practice
Makes perfect. So go get your mirror out
Uh
But this is the look this is give the camera the siren gaze
Yeah
Open your mouth slightly. Yeah
Is that what people look like when they come if that is the face that I've never made on the other on the other end of this
Fucking, you know
Offensive onslaught. This is what I look like when like I'm on a roller coaster. Oh, yeah
That's what I look like right before a hard sneeze
Yeah, that's what she said elevate your eyebrows narrow your eyes
Maybe the narrowing in the eyes isn't like meant to be a squinting as much as it's just like a like a
Fucking but how do you narrow your eyes?
Just like just forget the periphery and just kind of just like fucking zone in
so like
But like you gotta get a little lower, you know get a little like that that's a good one look through your eyebrows
Yeah, you're clearly looking at my eyebrow right now
I don't know where I look at your face. Whenever I talk to someone I look right here
Wait, when you look at someone you look between their eyes. Yeah, I think I go from eye to eye
I sometimes I go all over the place. Actually. I just looked at your mouth
It depends on you know, what sort of power play I'm trying to give off sometimes
I will go eye to eye but like just to make it seem like I'm looking at both
I just look right in the middle
Oh, I can't stare at that. I got to look at an eyeball dude. Really? You think so?
Yeah, sometimes I look at a mouth, but you can't look at a mouth from too close because then you look fucking nuts
Yeah, I I if someone's looking at my mouth and they're close to me. I'm like, oh, they want to kiss me
That's that's what I went back and I first started dating
She was like, how did you know I was interested and I told her a part of it was you were looking at my mouth staring at my
Mouth. Yeah, and I knew yeah, she wanted to be inside of that mouth. She wanted. Yeah, and I wanted her in there. Oh nice. Yeah
Sounds a little weird. Yeah, you guys are married though. So it's okay. Yes. It's cool. My kids don't watch yet. Yeah, no yet
I hope they don't but I'm almost confident they will
Now I'm staring at your nose
I'm staring at your nose right now too. You have a really good nose. Do I you have a powerful nose
I feel like I have a big nose like look at my well, you're speaking to the king of big noses right here
Yeah, but it suits your face. Thank you so much. I appreciate that didn't always I'll tell you that no
I recently was like you were a big nose kid. I don't even I would never describe bro
I looked at pictures of myself from like middle school that were on like facebook
You wouldn't believe how much of this nose I had to grow into you had a schnaz
I had a schnaz and a quarter dude. Wow. Yeah, I mean
I'm looking at it right now and it does look pretty meaty. Just be careful. Just be a little careful
It looks meaty. It does look meaty
I'm gonna see if I can really quickly pull up a picture and if I can't I don't care enough
Your nose kind of looks it would look it. Whoa
Your nose kind of looks like it would be delicious
If you cooked it to eat. Yeah. Yeah, bro. No, this is all cartilage
You wouldn't be able to bite through that son of a bitch. All right. I'm in a fantasy world here where we're eating noses
Dude, I'm assuming it's got some good meat. What part of my body would you think would be the most delicious ass?
Yeah, probably not your asshole. No that would butchie avoid that like a plague
Yeah, probably because I'd give it. What are you looking for?
I'm looking for a picture of me as a kid with a giant schnaz and enos
I mean, I grew up with you. I think I have a pretty clearly you don't remember it
I don't remember you just having a giant all schnaz you bro. I had I had to grow into this nose
What did you
Damn, that's a big fucking nose. Isn't that nuts, dude? Also the chain that doesn't help
Yeah, no, it doesn't thank god. You're you're out of that. You're out of the woods there. Do you still have it in your house?
It's somewhere. Absolutely. I just need to find it
Frankie used to wear these exclusively wear these silver columbian jewelry pieces
Oh, god forbid. I was gifted jewelry from my father from columbia that he says he had made but we know he didn't
Obviously he didn't but also they were just way too big. That's a big nose. It's a big fucking nose, dude guys
It's a big nose. Look at that nose. It's a great hairline though
You know
I don't like this. I don't like to my own horn too much. Yeah
Uh, but
What were we talking about? I don't know. So you having a big nose? Yeah, we were also talking. Oh the gaze
The gaze. Yeah, not the gaze
The gaze right. This is the gaze. Yeah, because they're I hug them
Oh, I thought you meant they're they hug each other. I don't
well
You know, there's a drag queen bar near my house
My apartment in Astoria. Mm-hmm. Let's go
I mean, I've been there. I've always wanted to go. I went and they had game night
I've always wanted to go and I hope this doesn't sound like we're like exploiting, you know, like it is good
But I had their zoo animals, Frank. You want to go watch them, right? Yeah
A drag brunch because they're like a pretty popular thing a drag brunch. Yeah, my only thing that I'm afraid of though
I'm terrified of drag queens. I'm not gonna lie to you. I'll well. We'll unpack that in a minute. Okay
the only thing I am afraid of is
my experiences
Uh with drag queens, uh, which is not a lot. Mm-hmm. They're fucking ruthless. That's why I'm afraid of them
They will
If you've never been roasted go to a drag month and brunch and you'll or an event and you will be fucking
Toasted bro gay dudes
If I ever got into an argument with a gay dude, I know I'm I'm losing
Yeah, because it's not even about the substance of what you're arguing. They're so good at fucking
Shitting on you. Yeah, and I remember being like
Drag queens unfortunately because they probably heard it their whole lives. Well, they're just quick
I don't know what it is, but I just like I now is I remember because we went to that bar
Um, and they had like game night or whatever, but there was no roasting or whatever. They were just like hosting this like game thing
um
But I remember
I'd like drove by the other day and there was like three drag queens like
Outside like smoking cigarettes, you know, like the green room or something. Yeah, and uh
I I always get this feeling of like they would just tear me apart
Yeah, and just be like look at this piece of shit for some reason. I don't know
No, you're probably a hundred percent right a couple years ago. I went to um
I went to like a karaoke night. It was a it was a drag karaoke night. Nice in jersey
And I I you know me karaoke. I'm there
The drag queen there was just absolutely torching everyone that got up on the mic and I said I was like I can't do this
Yeah, he's gonna violate you. I would have been
Annihilated. Yeah, you know, so it could be it could be a little intimidating. It's a little scary. But you know what?
For the culture, I'll do it
For the culture. Yeah, which culture the culture
Which one the uh, you know
Yeah, this clip has 4.6 million views
The siren gaze sends subliminal messages to a man that hits sexual pleasure points
He won't even know why he is so addicted to you
So here's the thing and go ahead. I I I think this is bullshit
Well, duh, like if a person that you're physically attracted to then gives you some sort of look like
Obviously that's going to attract them because they're looking at you like you ever been at a place
before you were married
And you see like a good-looking girl and you're and you like find yourself just like looking in that direction
And then if you see her kind of looking around and then you guys make eye contact and it lasts like a full second
You're like nice. Uh, never happened for me, joe
In theory, I think I understand what you're saying
But like, you know I'm saying like eye contact eye contact is a thing but this but you don't have to like
Yes, for me, you just have to look at me. This also plays into the absolute double standard at which, you know,
Express their sexuality we were having fun views and we were happy but no, but this is absolute
Bullshit, yeah, because certain people just look a certain way like I can tell you
I I'm I can almost guarantee there have been people in life that have you think are looking at you
And you're like, oh, maybe they're into me
But they're fucking not no, especially with a gaze where it looks like they're gonna shit their pants any minute
Oh
And if I saw someone making an actual
Like just before like the pre-organism face in public
I'd wonder what's going on. Yeah, I feel like are you okay because usually that looks like
What's that
What's the face you make it's kind of like a scared. What's the face you make right before me? Yeah
I don't know you close your eyes. Don't you know, I don't close my eyes. You keep them open. Oh, yeah
It's like a sneeze. You can't keep your eyes open during an orgasm
Bro, what you can't do it your eyes will pop out
You're you you're blind when you jizz that's saying I'm blind, but you just like
No
No, no, no
That's what you say. No, it's it's you know, you got to imagine it's more like like a
What was that your tongue came out?
I'm not saying that's mine. I just imagine I'm trying to come
There's definitely like a like a like a bunching up of the lips
Why don't we stop placing fucking like expectations on the way people should look when they're doing it
Bro orgasm faces are probably super ugly. Yeah, they're terrible. It's like john mayer singing like in theory
What's going on is sweet, but when you watch it happen, you're like, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
But I mean, dude, I think the uglier your o-face is like the better it is like you can't have one like
Oh like hey like ew
This is this is great. Yeah, you're not supposed you're supposed to smile immediately after your orgasm. No even that
No, no, no, like you know, that was insane. No after it's not supposed to be a smile
It's supposed to be like just a like a feeling of just like exhaustion and like I'm done like
Okay, you know like
No, got that over with
Frankie is like first he's this and then he goes, oh
Oh
All right, let's go
No, but you're right the uglier it is and the more like detached from a good-looking face
Because this is where it came from porn
porn has completely fucked up people's expectations
Of like what they're supposed to look like sound like and act like during sex
When the fact of the matter is that wait not that it's not that like poetic. Do you think it's innate?
For like moaning. I think so. I think it is like a form of expression, but I think
I think it's a form of expression, but I think that the standards that the porn industry have set on people
to be
Bro, think about it. You women are like they send it to a high octave
Women are supposed to like hold their fucking ankles as earrings, and then they're fucking supposed to be like
Oh my
That doesn't that's that's it up. Yeah, it's not your voice. You have to like perform during sex and men too
men need to
You know
You know
It's like bro
What are we doing man? I mean, you know, we're pretending
I I stand by I think that porn has put just like wild standards on the way that people are supposed to perform during sex
I guess
Tell me you do not think that or are you just kind of I do but i'm trying to figure out like which like how much of it is innate
Like bro. All right, think about it like this
You could with confidence say you started watching porn before you started consistently having sex
100% okay
Do you think
Your idea of what sex should be
When you started doing it consistently was in any way
Shaped by what you had seen in the in the tube dude, of course exactly, but like that's that's everyone I feel
Yes, I'm saying it's all wrong. No, but I'm saying like no, but I don't think it's wrong
But that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be innate too
I think there's there's like a part of it that's innate, but it's just porn turns it up to 11 for the entertainment factor
Of course, dude, bro. I can almost guarantee like things are just like i'm gonna fucking just fucking you're like chill
Think of the set this fucking clit on fire. Think of the 40 000 men and women you've been with in your life
Okay, and men and women. Yeah, well
But like the door open there think about it like
When you're comfortably
Like when you're in a comfortable relationship where you don't need to worry about like, you know performing for everyone
Sex is very different from like a fucking one night stand or something like that. Oh light years better
Yes, but i'm also saying like it's different when you have a physical connection to that person and you don't need to like worry about like
Do they like how i'm performing? Do they like with the puppet jappas?
Yes, got it that's second part of yes. Yes
Uh, we i know we've kind of brought this up briefly in episodes before and how we got here from zack wilson
I'll never understand. He had sex with a woman
That he did easy bridge. Oh the gaze the gaze. Yes gaze with eyes. Yes, not the
Gaze joey hates talking about him
You're done
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Yes, uh
What toiletry bag. Yeah, what what was the problem with me saying toiletry bag?
Do you also wear fucking horn horn rend glasses that are fucking a half inch thick?
What does that mean? Are you from the 80s? What should I call it?
a bag
It's toiletries. What is it toilet? Like your toothpaste like I just throw that in my regular bag
What do you mean? You might as well need an additional bag for that
So that it's organized
It's it just the bag goes into the bathroom and you just unzip it and open it and it has all your shit
It has toothpaste. It has a toothbrush contact solution my glasses
You do need those things you do you have to bring more stuff than I do when I when I travel
I just bring some toothbrush toothpaste and uh deodorant. That's it. Yeah, there's like other stuff in there
Well, I don't use deodorant. So
One more time
I don't think we've spoken about this and if we have I've forgotten because my brain tries to forget it
You don't use deodorant. I haven't put deodorant on my body in five years five six years
Ever and you're cool with like the way you smell right now
There's nothing get over here
Let daddy get a sniff
That smells like vanilla
Is that your natural is that your natural underarm smell bro? I don't smell. What the fuck is that?
I don't know. Oh my god. Is if you need to be any better looking
I don't use deodorant. There are days where I actively leave here and I say to myself. Whoa
I stink
I mean, I I definitely do like
Like the other day I went to the track and I was like running and stuff
So like when I exercise and then I went every day when I exercise. I get a little stinky
When I was exercising and then I was sitting on the toilet and I was shifting
Right
And as I was sitting there, it smelled so like shit whatever that I thought I was smelling been gay
Wait, I don't know what it was
Wait a second. There was a combination of like your body naturally gives off the smell of like menthol
Your body naturally gives off the smell of like menthol. I thought I think that no
Is that what you're saying? I think there was a mixture of things going on
Uh, you know between like the sweat and stuff because it's not like I never smell joey. Let me make something clear
Yeah
You need to put something in your body in order to have it smell like been gay
I know mint. It may have been something just in the bathroom. I was like mint like soap
No, no, no, do you use like the I know that unscented soaps
I use for the whales right for the for the whales for the sea turtle. No, I wear I use non-scented shit and
That's it. I so what you smell like right now
Yeah, has nothing to do with your soap body wash deodorant. No cologne. I don't wear cologne
Very rarely like I don't have a cologne. I don't own one. What are you fucking kidding?
I only wear cologne if like
Like this weekend when I'm in Arizona and there's like a bunch of people around maybe someone has it like maybe I'll put it on
But like that's the only times it happens
So in addition to everything else you got going good for you. You also just don't smell
I smell good right now because guess what deodorant harry's deodorant
I usually don't smell like anything like it smells like nothing. It just smells like just skin or whatever
There's a war on deodorant right now. So I understand if you're not getting into the game right now
Well, like I so like I also used to wear like
Old spice or whatever, but then there's like that's not you're not supposed to wear that
Yeah, because it's like a bunch of bad shit in it. Yeah, good good thing you got out of that
The only times that I will put on deodorant
Is if so what I said was a little bit of an exaggerate not a little bit it was it was
It was a tiny bit of an exaggeration because
If I'm like about to go out and then I notice that I smell because it's very rare that it happens
But I always like check. Yeah, but if it does I will use
like
That company native deodorant because it's like make really good stuff because it's like all natural like ingredients or whatever
But like I don't really wear deodorant like I don't wear it every day. I like
Maybe I put it on like four times a year
Literally
Bro, that's insane. Yeah, it's crazy, right? I've been wearing deodorant since fucking like 13
I never pack it. I've never packed it on a vacant. Actually, that's a lie
I have a small stick in my but I've never opened it. It's like unopened
That's wild. Good for you, man. Isn't that so weird?
But I've met people who have the same thing like yeah, I don't wear deodorant. I don't smell
That's crazy. I I I do I I also probably do it because it's a bit of habit too
Like I'm sure it's like what came first the chicken or the egg that I smell first
And then deodorant or deodorant first and then I like I smell because I'm not wearing it
But I I couldn't
I couldn't believe like that's that's honestly not even all jokes aside
I'm quite envious of that
Because does it take up a lot of your time? No, it's a bing bong jing. Ba bam booms
But I'm saying the fact that like
It's just like an additional expense like deodorant's not cheap
Really stick at deodorant like good deodorant could be like six or seven bucks
If not more, whoa, and like
Yeah, it'll last you a month
But like you think about that
It's not cheap. No, I mean it's another it's another expense
But also it's like another thing to do and now
With like deodorant now everyone's like there's aluminum in it. Yeah, and like don't
Parabas don't
What is a paraben by the way? You're asking me dude. Yeah, the guy's never used deodorant. It doesn't even use it
I I had gotten this one deodorant, which they're will remain nameless. They smelled great
But it was like putting cream cheese under my arms
That's another thing that like I find that to be
So counterproductive to the point of deodorant like people who have like
Just like white dust
Under their arms. I'm like this to me is more gross than if you smelled that for some reason because it looks like
Mold and also there's no good way to put on deodorant without fucking up your shirt
So like if you put on deodorant then put a shirt on you're gonna get streaks on your shirt
And if you put your shirt on then you have to fucking
You know legends of the hidden temple to stick through your arm without hitting your shirt
If it makes you feel any better, I'm a sweaty bitch. You are I don't sweat here though
Do you do you use any like antiperspirant?
What
There's there's deodorant and antiperspirant. Oh, no my arms don't sweat
So like they I won't get like big sweat stains, but my head sweats like crazy. I
I will say this. I don't sweat a lot from my underarms
Your asshole my balls and my bald bonge butt. Yeah, the triple bees
Yeah, the killer bees the killer bees the balls bonge in the butt
Though that's where I need it and I think now like manscaped free plug
I think makes like a free deodorant a ball deodorant now. Yeah, like a ball refresher or something. It's called something like that
but I would like those like
You remember when we were kids and we'd go to models
And they sell those like little like they look like plastic like ping-pong balls and you turn it and throw it in your shoes at the end
Of the day. Yeah, we bought those for my dad. Oh my dad's feet
dude
There was a point where my feet were really bad to the point like my family would gag
Really? Yeah, my dad's shoes were fucking crazy, bro. When I was fresh in puberty
I
Also was like a little dumb idiot kid and would just be like, oh, I'd wear socks two days in a row
But you're a kid you're sweating all the time you're running around you're doing stupid shit
And uh, there were times where like I would take my shoes off and my family would be like, yo, we have to
Like you need to go outside
There was one day my dad tells at the lake
where I was sleeping in
My room and he like opened the door to wake me up in the morning and he's like
I couldn't believe this stench that came
And he's like, did you shit your pants? I was like, no and he looked and he saw my socks and he was like, yo, it was your feet
Wow. Yeah
That's a lot. It was but I'm a better man now because of it. I don't know about that. Yeah
I got clean feet and I don't talk to my dad
My dad we used to put like three balls in one of his shoes
I remember your dad having big shoes. He had huge shoes like wide very wide. He was like a size like
Yeah, they were wide as far like if I put them on like my feet would not be touching the sides
Yeah, no, no, no. I once like did that as a joke and I regretted it
Yeah, and they're always wet in there. I could I think at a point
I could have fit both of my feet inside one of your dad's shoes. They're cavernous for sure
Yeah, but yeah, and I don't I don't think I have stinky stinky feet either, but I don't really get down there
I don't really wash my feet to be honest. Yeah. Well, um, I should I've tried but then I like almost slip and I'm like
I'm not doing that. You're not and you're also I guess
You don't really care much about your feet because no one's sucking on them toes
No, definitely not. I'm way too ticklish for that. Yeah, no one's sucking on these toes either
I think I would enjoy a toe sucking, but I'm way too ticklish
Like I I wouldn't enjoy it because I'm ticklish 12,000 you suck my toe
No, are you insane? I just want you know, I'm not putting your my insane
I almost got my fucking insides ripped out by an esthetician
You could suck my toe for 12,000. You want me to perform a sexual act on your toe? It doesn't need to be sexual
How do you suck a toe platonically the same way you eat a fucking pickle? It's attached to your body. Okay
I'm not sucking your toe. Think of it as a pickle
That helps. Yeah. No. Do you like pickles? I don't yes. Okay. Well, you don't you don't or yes
No, I do. Yes. I like them think of my toe as a pickle
I'm not going to ruin pickles for myself. We'll make like a little glory hole and I'll put my toe through it
How about this see me?
Frankie. Yeah, none of this is gonna work. I'm not sucking your toe
Are you really petitioning hard for me to suck your toe?
By the way, I want you to do something comparable to what I did and I think that would be a good start
Putting your toe in my mouth. Yeah, I think you'd like that a little too much. Uh, it'd be a power thing
I'd have one up on you. Yeah, I wouldn't get anything sexually out of it just like
But egotistically. Yes. Is that huh? Yes. Yes. Yes. Absolutely
Okay
Well, no, I'm not okay. I'm not doing it. Oh, uh, no, I'm not so close. No, I'm not doing so close. So close
Um, but yeah, also I wanted to bring up this story that I found just pulled my phone on my asshole
Uh, does it smell?
No, um
Does my ass smell if I put my hands in between my legs right now. Will you smell it?
No, not in my pants. Not like on my asshole. Just like
Nope
Oh, not bad right now
Yeah, happy for you, buddy
Um, but I saw this story that the new york post came out with and I was fucking dying, dude
Wait real quick. I wanted to ask you this before I just pop back into my head
Your jeans, right
Like my like
DNA or my pants. Oh pants. Okay, all right
Your jeans how many times do you wear a pair of jeans before you like wash them?
Two if I'm not doing anything really that's it three if I'm like active
Wait, wait. I'm sorry other way other way other way other way other way other way other way three
If I'm not doing anything two if I'm active in them, dude
I'm wearing the shit out of jeans like how much like a lot. Well, you don't clearly
You don't sweat in your your in the killer bees as much as I do. Well, well, maybe but I I think I wash my jeans like
Once every like six uses. Ooh
Yeah, that's a lot. Also, how many pairs of jeans do you have?
Including work jeans or no
Because I have like
Four pairs of work pants and then I think like three pairs of non work. Yeah, I have like three pairs of jeans. That's it
Yeah, I don't need and like black gray and like a light blue is that that's all I got. Yeah
All right. Anyway, uh, I wanted to bring up the stories because I saw the new york post post this and I was fucking dying
It just literally says I'm a plus size teacher and my students beg me not to eat them
Okay, which is like the classic thing to say to a fat kid when you're younger. Oh, you're gonna eat me
Or you're gonna sit on me. You're gonna sit on me. You're gonna eat me. They're two big ones
But yo, and then she has
She teaches kindergarten. So kindergartners are like, please don't eat me bro
I mean, I I maybe presumptuous here, but if the new york post is writing this, maybe it's a new york teacher
Uh, I don't know because I'll tell you this
Go to like kindergarten in like
Jersey the kids are cool
They're like nice kids. They're respectful bro
Kindergarteners in a new york city public school. Yeah, right
You're you might get less roasted if you went to that drag show we were talking about earlier
She has some other ones that are so funny. One student told her that she looked like
Uh, Ursula from the little mermaid, which is crazy. We're gonna drag. Yeah, you know what's so
Hold on. I'll get to that. But then she also said some kids said to her there are two types of people
Oh
Some have a line body
Some have circle bodies like you
Bro kids are fucking like ruthless
Absolutely, dude, and this is your place of work and their children. So you can't say anything you can't go
Shut the fuck up you little bitch. Oh, you could have maybe like 15 20 years ago
Yeah, I've had a teacher call me a bitch. What's wrong with the world now? We can't curse at kids anymore
Thanks, biden. Yeah
You can't touch kids. Well
I mean, I'm not talking about that kind of touch. I'm talking about normal touch
I thought you were trying to set me up for a joke there. No, no, no, you can't
That's why I like backed away from that one
No, you can't like put your hand on a kid's back like it's okay, timmy. Don't worry about it. Really? Yeah, you can't
Oh, I I don't know. I'm not a teacher Keith was explaining this whole thing to me. Well, yeah, Keith
Keith worked in uh, you know, like an after-school program with kids, right? Yeah, and Keith's great with kids
but like he told me this story that one time like the kids loved a mr. Keith and
that a girl, uh
I think that maybe she was like absent for like or maybe she was on vacation or whatever and she like
I guess missed Keith
And he I mean he's there every day like doing whatever and the girl's like mr. Keith and right up to him and just like hugged him
Around his waist and he literally just went like this
Hey, man, better you imagine the security tape of like a kid hugging
Better safe than sorry man. I know but it's funny. You know, you don't
It's so weird because kids I've had teachers like
Do stupid shit to me bro. I went to a teacher's wedding and I'm pretty sure I saw like
Her husband like ripped the garter off her inner leg. You know what I mean? Like back in the day. They didn't give a fart
Yeah, I don't know if I saw that that might have been wishful thinking of fourth grade Frankie. Maybe but
No, you you seriously you
like
They were fucking rude because kids and I you know Miles is seven. He's not in kindergarten
He's going into second grade, but they don't have
The ability to like yet understand that what they're saying might be fucking mean
Yeah, so like there will be time like I remember we went to like the boardwalk and there was like
We were walking by people, you know up and down the boardwalk and there was someone walking a young like a baby
And Miles goes mommy. Can I can I talk to you and she's like, yeah, what's up, bro?
I don't know why but I thought you were gonna say he said can I punch the baby?
I don't know why that popped into my head close
He goes that baby was really ugly
And we're just like
Okay, I mean, you know and he's like I would never say that to them. We're like good now. You're getting it now
You're getting it. Yeah, but kindergartners man. They just have a level of just not giving a fuck
I know man. It's so funny and then being a teacher though. They must just tear you apart
When my brother when we were younger we would go to an after school program
And there was a teacher there a black woman
And my brother asked her
He was maybe four at the time
He asked her why she was chocolate
What did she say? Oh wait, is this the teacher that I know? No, oh no, no, no, no, no
I don't she would have she she's put her hands on me before I don't know who you're talking about
Uh, miss walkins. Oh, no, miss walkins would have snapped his fucking neck when I was picking him up by his leg
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was it was not at ps2. Um
She was very upset
And I mean, I mean I could understand but also he's for that's a thing. I think my parents were saying like
Listen because it became a thing like she had complained and called him racist racist four-year-old. Yeah, no, and uh, why are you?
And
She had said like
Listen, he didn't he was he's a four-year-old. He was being observant like, you know on the back end
You can teach them why that's wrong, but like you can't get upset about them
Like they're observing visual differences at the age of four now if he were 10
He said like a slur. Yeah, you'd be like, okay, your dad said yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, but uh
Kids just don't that's fucking hysterical. Yeah, but mean
Yeah, of course, but also funny
And that's okay
Dude and also like kids just humble you in ways that you just like
You feel like such an asshole because it doesn't matter who you are or like whatever like or
Whatever your status is in the world
Sometimes you go up to a little kid and you go high five and they just go
They don't give a walk away from you and you're like, I feel like a fucking dick
Yeah, bro
Or like you pick up a baby and they just start crying and you're like am I that's different babies are different
I don't know babies are very different because yeah, but I'm not saying this is the same response where I'm just like
I'm nothing I'm pathetic now. Well, you are pathetic
But I think babies have nothing to do with it because babies. It's like it's it's a connection thing
You know like babies really only like to be held by their mom or dad
We get it. You're the most part
but
Bro, I recently went to miles birthday party was that like one of those like trampoline action parks
And it had a ninja warrior course for kids
And bro, there were kids doing this fucking thing backwards and forwards
I went to go try I almost pulled my arm out of my socket
And the first thing I did was like pop up
Not because I wanted like Becca who was standing next to me to know I was okay because
The kids all around me were judging me. Yeah. Yeah, because you knew
Bro that they would have lit me up like the fourth of fucking July
There was a time where
It's still to this day. I think I'm afraid of teenagers
Yeah, because but I don't mean like
And I don't mean like
17 18 19 I mean like 13 12 13 14 like I'm I'm very scared of them like and for some reason in our neighborhood growing up
Where I live now still
I there's not a lot of them, but sometimes they pop up and there's been more popping up
And like I'll be walking down the street and then there'll be like a bunch of 13 year olds walking towards me and I'm like
I'm gonna cross the street
And I don't know why
Yeah, you know because like if I had to I'll tell beat the shit out. I'll tell you why they freak me out
I'm gonna I'm gonna lay it out here, and I'll explain it make sure it's all like they're gonna flame me for some reason
Think about when we were 13. Yeah, if someone was walking across the street and tripped
That person was gonna get screamed at. I'm not saying it was right. We were little assholes, but guess what?
It happened. It happened. I'm not proud of it
I laugh at it because it was fucking hysterical
You know, it's actually super scary when you're driving in your car
And because of a red light you have to pull up next to a school bus
That I'm like, oh my god get me out of here, bro or behind a school bus
Yeah, if they're looking back at you and they're because they're just like in the back of the bus
Look at you fart and I was like bro. I'm not fart. What what they call you fart. They call you names
They don't realize no, I'm talking about a little bit older like fucking eighth graders and shit
Well, fuck. I don't eighth graders just try to get a rile out of you, you know, they try to get a
Again, bro, I will pull over on the side of the road. I can't I can't be next to a school bus
It freaks me out. Well, yeah, legally you also can't I would also say Frank
No, dude, it's because like
Bro, listen, if you are over the age of like 25 never argue with someone
That's between the ages of like 13 and 17 because even if you're making the best point ever
They're just they don't even get it. They just will destroy it. Like if you were to like stutter, they'd be like, oh, yeah
And you're like, fuck you. Yeah, and then it's like, what are you gonna do? You're stuck
Yeah, and also it's hard to argue with someone who can't comprehend what you're saying
Even if you're winning you're like in a normal conversation
I'd be winning right now, but they they can't retain what I'm saying
Yeah, and they're just throwing back poopy face and and they're winning. Yeah, exactly
You'd be like you'd make this like eloquent argument and you know like say like just like nice big like put together statement
And I would just be like, all right
Gay ball and it's like you're destroyed. It's like, I don't even know what that means
But it somehow it hurt more than when my dad said he didn't love me, you know, right? Yeah
No, that was a big day in your life. Yeah big year. Yeah
Let's clear the air real quick because I know sometimes there are clips of this show that my dad has seen my dad's a very loving man
He's a good guy
Still in my old your hand and like kisses you on the mouth
Yeah, bro, your dad would smooch you if you if you gave him the green light he'd fucking nail you bro
Like with four years ago my dad and like at the lake house. He was like I was like, oh, who's coming up to the lake
He's like, oh, we got so so coming so so coming. I was like, all right. Where are they where am I gonna sleep?
He's like, oh, you can sleep in my room and I'm like
Let's set something real quick dad. I am not doing that 25. Yeah
I know how men wake up
I'm not waking up next to you. You wake up every morning with a boner
No, but like I wake up with a with an engorged peep. Yeah, I wake up with a fat because I got a piss
Yeah, yeah, uh, but but I don't wake up every morning with a fucking just like a steamroller
I don't think I've ever had a steam
Yeah, no
That's never happened to me
I almost pissed myself the other day actually because of my dream. Welcome to the club
No, I know you are just like the king of pissing yourself, but like wait. No, no, no, no
It's reset that pissing your car. Um, thank you
Nobody had a dream. I was like peeing into uh
One of those urinals that like dude
Those are the worst things too. Like, you know what? It's not a urinal. It's just like a fucking trough
You got a piss into ice. Yeah. Yeah. I like pissing on ice though. I don't think I've ever pissed on ice. Oh, I've pissed on ice
I pissed on ice
You know what? His bathroom's like that forced hill stadium
Oh, I was gonna say met life is like that too. They have troughs. Yeah, I like this trough
I believe if I could be wrong, but last time we went for the giant spangles game. I think it was
God damn, dude. That was like fucking seven years ago. I it was about six seven
Nailed it. Wow. Um, but yeah, I I like pissing on ice, but I don't like pissing when there's no like
I just have so much dick in my peripheral
Oh, I don't mind not because I I'm not looking but like it doesn't I just I fucking
Stare straight, you know, I stare down. You stare down. You're more likely to see piss
Uh, other dicks. Well, I'm looking at mine. I'm making sure I'm just mine's still there or whatever
When you go to a urinal, you don't look at your penis every time I pee I look at my penis. No, I look up
Every time you pee you look up. I look up or I look straight at the wall
I look at my penis
I really appreciate the places that have like TVs right in front of you
Wait, do you think do you think more people are like you or me because I look at my penis when I'm peeing
Um, I hope they're more like me when they're like looking around
I think it's I think it's more like they set themselves up
Like they have to park the car before they you know, they don't need to watch the whole process
I know but I I get in here and I take it out and then I just start peeing and I just stare at it
Oh, because what am I gonna stare at the walls right here? Why am I gonna stare at it? Just stare at the wall
Stare up. No, I stare at my penis. I don't look down at my penis because you're more likely to see other penises
Put your hand out in front of you stare at it put your hand this way
You see that
I see them both though
But it seems you're saying I get more of like the shape. Yeah, it's it's a little it's like it's like 2020 here
You know in the farther away you get, you know, you need better glasses. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had bifocals though
Um, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I like to stare at my penis when I pee
I I have mastered uh peeing in my dreams, but not actually peeing the bed
Well, that's what I did the other day
I had a dream that I was peeing into one of those like troughs and then I woke up and I was like, oh
Oh, I didn't even have to wake up and do like that. Oh, I just in your dream. You're like, oh, no, this isn't real
Yes, yeah, is that how you wake up because that's how I wake up in dreams. I go
Oh, no, I try to blink really hard in my dreams
I I actively like in my dream will say like I can just wake up and I wake up
Oh, wow, that's pretty cool. I usually have to do this. Oh, I don't I don't do that
I did have a recently scary dream where a building was falling on me and I act like I said like
I did one of those like waking up like
Do you get sleep paralysis? No
You've never had it. I don't to my knowledge knock on what I don't think I have
People that is the one part of you know, how like people say like, I don't know
I've never experienced it. So I don't know what it's like that
Yeah, because people talk about like there's a sleep demon in my room and I can't move that is bullshit though
I not that it's bullshit
I'm sure it happens for some people but that's never happened to me the sleep paralysis that I have is that
I fall asleep and my mind wakes up before my body does so I can't move
I've never and I consider myself quite lucky that I've never felt that at this point. It's like, okay. I can like
Try to breathe as normally as possible and it usually only lasts like seven seconds or something
But it's a long seven seconds. I can say that sounds like an eternity
Yeah, and like you just can't move and then you come out of and you're like, oh
Like, you know, whatever but then also when I get sleep paralysis like that
It's usually because I'm like super tired or I took a nap earlier in the day or something
Which is rare, but if I take a nap, I usually get it and when I get it
Every time I fall back to sleep it happens again. So I if I get sleep paralysis
I usually get it like four times in a row because I have to go back to sleep because I'm exhausted and then it happens again
Yeah, that sounds miserable. Yeah, I will I'll keep you updated on on my sleeping. Let me know. Let me know
But no, no sleep paralysis keep me abreast. I will keep you aboobed. Thank you. Yeah, um, yeah, we can wrap up here
Frank, where uh, where can we find you? F alvars 80 85 on twitter the frank alvars on instagram
Fucking god almighty. Yeah, that's here
Ah the frank alvars on instagram and like I said earlier go check out
The baseman yard on patreon patreon.com slash the baseman yard and while he just walked through
Go check out santa gata studios on youtube. Uh, we got some great content on there every wednesday you get new videos
We got our friends together
We contacted the people that we needed to contact to get santa gata slam poetry volume three
Yeah, which is up there now. So go check it out. A lot of people like volume one and two
So if you haven't seen them go watch those watch three. It's a good time
Good time. You guys can follow the show at the baseman yard on tiktok and instagram and that is all
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