The Basement Yard - #369 - It's Been Pee The Whole Time

Episode Date: October 24, 2022

Joe and Frank realize whats been there the whole time! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank. We're back, baby. Wow. We are back. Look at what I did. You double-fingered me. No, I didn't. Well, those are double guns.

Double guns, double finger guns. I didn't double-finger you. You've never fingered me. No, I want to make sure you do. I want to make sure we put that out there. Yeah, I never fingered Frank. Never happened. A lot of people feel like there's some sexual tension

between you and I. They're wrong. You don't think so? Nope. Nope. That's it. I'll see you guys next time. No, I don't.

No, I honestly. You ever figure someone like this? No. Usually one-handed. Well, yeah. Why are you using both hands? And what position are you in that you're just propping them up on a fucking table with stirrups?

Wait, no, I've never done it. Then why are you suggesting people do it? I don't know that if anyone has. Is it like that thing that we would do where we want to see a vagina handshake where it's like, whoa, dude. I'm sure people are into that, like putting both hands in and then kind of opening up, like you're trying to like. I don't know.

I don't want to sit here like you do and speak on behalf of the female population. So I can't imagine what they would like. But tell me what they would, Joey. By the way. Probably not that. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

Since when have you been employed by Nickelodeon Studios at Universal Studios Florida? Sorry that I like to wear color sometimes, Frank. But Joey, that's the color. You have to understand. What is the color? That's Nickelodeon. It is Nickelodeon.

That's an orange thing. That's Nickelodeon. That's not an orange thing. That's very Nickelodeon-esque. That's Nickelodeon-orange. What's wrong with Nickelodeon? Bitch. Honestly, when we were kids, nothing.

Now, issues. There's a lot of stuff. I think there's some issues going there. What's happening? There's some stuff that's been going on. Jeanette McCurdy, I think. Oh yeah, she wants to kill her mom. What was it?

No, her mom is dead. Her mom is gone. She's pumped that her mom is dead. Oh yeah, she's like sick. But she was talking. I don't think she was able to name people by name, but she spoke about some of the treatment on some of the shows. I, Carly, I believe, was the name of it.

Yeah, I've never seen an episode of I, Carly, in my life. It was on when we were early teenage years, like 13, 14, 15. Yeah, definitely. I turned to porn. I said, by that point, I turned to porn. Gotcha. OK, I was watching MTV Jams. I was also watching that.

Channel 157. Yeah, but we also, frankly, are 175. I know that you were on LimeWire downloading porn. I did have a LimeWire porn download. Big booty. No. Shaken. No.

So back in the day. Brown and brown. That was an episode. That was a video that I did watch. Brown and brown. It was a website. Yeah. Yeah.

Mike in Brazil. Not familiar with that one. From what I remember, it was round and brown. Yeah. We lived together. That was the lesbian one. That was. You like lesbian porn?

No, I don't like any porn. No, no. I also, like, I forgot who. There was a comedian that was like laughing about straight men watching lesbian porn because it was like, they don't want you there. Yeah. It's like, why are you watching this?

That's why I don't like it. I'm like, I don't feel invited to this. You don't feel. Well, do you feel invited to the other porn that you watch? A little more than I would be invited. So it's an emotional attachment to what you're watching because you want to watch a porn where if you walked into a room, they'd be like, come on in.

Welcome. No, not that I want to be welcomed into the porn, but like, at least I can like picture what's going on. What does that mean? Like when a dude has. You can picture two women. No, when a guy, a guy is banging a girl, you're like, OK. Why don't I say it like that?

Yeah, why? When a guy's got a woman bent over railing it. No, I'm saying, but like, you know, I've said this before. I'll say it again. I mean, there's no point in talking. Wow. Honestly, that is one of the more. Put that on my tombstone.

That is one of the more profound statements that we've ever made on this show. A show that's, by the way, been on the Today Show. Probably not going to want to, you know, they're not going to air that. Not going to clip us after that one. Yeah, but there was so there was round and brown. We live together right over that.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't remember the other one. I'm trying to think. Freaks of Talk was another one that I remember. You went to that one quite a bit. And I forgot there was there was other ones, but Lime Wire, I downloaded one video off there. I've downloaded numerous.

And it was you ever download one of those and it was just like a presidential campaign or something? Well, it was like an audio message. And it was like, I'm Bill Clinton. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck is this? But I say that on my computer is Barry, Barry Sanders, ESPN classics. Yeah, I remember.

And no one ever found it as far as I know. Why would you keep pouring on your desktop? What would you rather do, Joey? I would watch it and delete it. I don't know. No, I know. What would you rather do? Watch a bunch of small clips?

Or one long one. Or one long. Because that's what it used to be back in the day. I'm a multiple clip boy. You're watching multiple clips? Yeah, multiple videos. One video and you're done. I mean, I don't know.

I'm assuming it wouldn't take much to get you there. It's not that it takes much. It's just that you like a variety. You like to scroll. So you'll watch. You'll be like, all right, cool, on to the next one. Yeah, wow. I think.

There are people that don't have that self. What's the word I'm looking for? Discipline. I don't think that's discipline. I think it is discipline. Oh, you think I'm edging myself? Yeah, I guess I guess. You kind of are edging yourself a little bit.

Yeah, you're bringing yourself. You're like jerking off and you're like, hmm? OK, I don't jerk off like that. That was just wild. Yeah, you're like, ugh, ugh. You're angry? I'll show you, dad. Go, go, go.

Well, I didn't bring your dad into this. I know. You did. Yeah. You brought your dad. Anyway. Welcome back to the East Coast, by the way. Yeah, I was on a trip.

I was in the Pacific Northwest living in a van for a week. And that was an interesting experience. Yeah, you lived in a van down by a river. You lived the life, legitimately, of Chris Farley's character, Matt Foley. Yeah, there was one of the days where we saw salmon swimming up shrimp. Did you get it?

Get it? Like, did you go grab one to cook? You're confusing me with bears. Not for something. You're right, you are not a bear. Yeah, no. But I remember being like pulled over and there's like a little observation deck kind of being

go down to the water. So we went down to the water. And then I remember being like, this is incredible. Like, I'm watching this. This is amazing. And then out of nowhere, I'm like, this is where bears would be. Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here.

You need to be careful around there. Did you see the video of the guy hiking and he had to fight a bear off? Yes. That's fucking. That could have been you. Bro. No, we had bear spray, but like.

Did you have like the fucking like the shot thing where it's like you shoot it into the air and it just like pops and scares them off? No, what the fuck is that? It's like a flare kind of like thing. Which is loud noise. But it's just it's just it's like it fucking just goes in and goes pop like real loud to scare the bears.

Oh, no, I didn't even heard that. So bear spray. That was it. What's in bear spray? What are they not like? It's like it's like pepper spray on steroids. It's like bad pepper spray. Did you use it on each other?

That would have ended my trip very quickly. No, you just watch your eyes out in that beautiful stream where the salmon were swimming. That's no, that's not that's not it. But before we move forward with this, I do have to tell you this is this is how the trip started. OK, this is the trip in a van. This is a real thing that happened.

You were in that van, by the way, with two men. Yes, but there was other men. There was six people on the trip. There was two vans, right? So three of us went to one house to pick up the van because these people just have vans in like their driveway. And like this is what they do. So like three of us went to one house.

Three of us went to a different house. The house that we went to, right? Picking up the car. And I'll leave the names out of it because it's funny. But I'll tell you after. But like we show up at this guy's house and he's got a nice house, like whatever. And he's got the van there.

And then we're talking to him. He's telling us about like how to work the van or whatever. Because we have a sink and shit. So then he's like, you want me to take a picture of you guys in front of the van? And we're like, yeah. And he's like, all right, cool. So he takes someone's phone, about to take a picture.

Legitimately out of nowhere. I was like, yeah, like my wife just left me. He wanted to come with you. Bro, hold on. He wanted to come with you so bad. And he wanted to fuck you. He wanted, Jesus, I'm sorry. He starts talking about how his wife just left him, right?

Yeah, as one does when they're taking a picture of six men in their late 20s. No, this is just three of us. So he's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, my wife left me, right? Out of nowhere. We're like, oh, you know, sorry. What are you saying? So then there was like these dogs there too.

And he was like, yeah, these are my wife's, my ex-wife's dogs. Just take the picture, dude, right? Just take the picture, leave us alone. Eventually he takes a picture or whatever. So then we're about to be on our way. And we get in the car. He wants to come with you. No, worse.

So one of our friends gets in the driver's seat, right? Yeah, well, that's how you drive the vehicle, I presume. Yeah. And he gets in the driver's seat, and then he just takes the e-brake off, right? OK. Now, we just start rolling back. There's no brake?

The car wasn't on. You could brake a car when it's not on. Apparently not. Apparently not. This guy fucking, this guy wanted you dead. You almost died. Bro, so our friend gets in the driver's seat, does the e-brake, we just start rolling back.

Starting to try and slam on the brakes and all this shit, we just hit a fence in his yard. A guy who just, he has a lot of heartbreak. He's got enough going on as it is. Yeah, and we break his fence. Not break it, but it fucks it up. What kind of fence? It was wood.

So broke it. That's very symbolic for his broken home. Bro, you see this guy just walk down to the distance and try to collect himself. He's like, OK, all right. And he comes back, and he's like, and we're obviously just like, yo, so we're trying. I need to know who's in the driver's seat.

I'm going to tell you. Is it who I think it is? No. It's someone who I feel bad that it happened to. So you don't want to tell me so I don't make fun of them? No, I'll tell you. Oh, OK. I just don't want to mention it here.

So then he goes, like he comes over to the car, and he's just like, and we're apologizing, obviously. Like, yo, sorry, like the e-brake. We thought we couldn't stop. You guys are like, just take it. Just go. He's literally just like, just get the fuck out of my sight. This guy wants nothing to do with you.

Bro, the guy was pissed. He drove away, and he stared at that fence and thought about why his wife left him. 100,000%. You guys just added the most fucking stress onto this poor guy. Did you drop the van back there? Yeah.

Did he have a bullet in his mouth? No, but the fence was fixed, and he charged us a pretty penny. For the fence, yeah. Oh, boy. Not $1,000, but hundreds of dollars. Oh, I mean, whatever. If you were in the car with who I think you were,

there's a fucking net worth of $40 million in that car alone. So you're OK. No, so, bro, I also, at one point, someone else on the trip goes, you know, guy can't even. Oh, boy. Like, the guy can't even keep a wife. I think he could live without a couple of friends. Yeah, who gives a shit?

The guy, I mean, there were. That's how our trip started. That's a rough start, but it looked like you had a great time. It was a beautiful trip. Seeing mountains like that is crazy. What was more breathtaking? Seeing the mountains, the beach, or ruining this man's fucking ego, and just destroying him internally

when he's asking for a friend. He told you that, because he wanted you guys to be like, you know what, random man? Come with us. And he'd be like, you know what? All right, I'm not going to charge you for the van. You could have saved yourself a couple million. I don't know that $100,000.

How much was his van? It was like $280 a day. So fucking $3,000? Is that? No, that's not what it comes out to. You were there for 10 days. I was there for seven days. We had a van for six.

All right. Yeah. Matthew, yeah, well. We did shower in an open field. That's kind of sweet. Like, we pulled up on this guy's farm, because we stayed at these campgrounds. But sometimes you can't get to an official campground.

There's an app where you can find people who will just let you stay on their property. You can't stay on the street. So murderers. Maybe. Probably. So we were at this guy's house. And then he's like, yeah, he's like, here's some firewood.

Do you guys want to hang out by the fire? By the way, there's Bobcats and Mountain Lions in it. And I was like, you're not really selling the fire right now. He had a turkey, though. She was dope. If the turkey could survive, you guys would be OK. No. You've got to think about it.

Bobcats and Mountain Lions are going to go for the turkey before they go for fucking big, beefy boys. Also advertised that he had a shower. So when we get there, we're like, where's the shower? Because he had two tents next to our car. And he's like, yeah, that's the bathroom. He's like, well, you'll find in there are two buckets. One's filled with sawdust.

The other one's a bucket to shit in. He's like, you just do what you got to do. Throw the sawdust in. Sawdust? Sawdust. Oh, so he just it. So you were sitting, you were shitting in a human litter box. Yeah.

Oh, OK. Yeah. What a great trip, Joey. It was great. That sounds like that was fucking riveting. Also the shower, he was like, where's the shower? And he's like, if you go right there, it was just like a clearing.

And he goes, there's a hose. We go, cool. Oh, OK. Let me ask you, what did you eat? Wheat? Fucking sand? No, we, we, I know it was probably, I'm sorry, I don't care that I'm interrupting you.

I know it was probably beautiful. You probably saw some really breathtaking, like, like scenery and like the water and the sand and the trees and the mountains. I don't give a fuck about that. If you're, if you're showering with a hose, if you're shitting in a human litter box, and you're eating fucking, you know what, what did you fucking freaks have?

RX bars, you bitches. No. RX bars. Eat this. It's chocolate and sea salt. This tastes like mud. Well, yeah, there's a lot in those RX bars. I went through a big phase with those.

No, I remember because they were expensive and you were like, oh, no, we, no, we went like food shopping. We didn't cook anything, but like we bought snacks and shit to eat on the road. So we drove like 1100 miles over the course of a week. And we would go to the store and buy like bread. I had like, you can make peanut butter and jelly or you can make like a ham sandwich or something.

A lot of beer, a lot of wine. Dunkaroos at one point. Oh, OK, all right, now you got me back. I was going to obliterate you. I was going to obliterate you for being on a hiking trip in a van and drinking wine with your friends that you're not gay with. But then when you said Dunkaroos, I was like, all right,

no. Oh, no, mostly beer. It was honestly mostly beer. You said, you said a lot of wine. There was a lot of wine. But for me, that's enough. Like, that's enough. Wine is meant to be indoors.

Yeah, we drink it outdoors for sure. Not when you have to worry about getting ticks. I didn't think about ticks the whole time. You didn't check your body at all. Ticks are terrible. Ticks are terrifying for me. Any time I'm in any sort of brush, I check every part of my body that I can.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, we were also on, like, you know, paths. There wasn't necessarily a wheat field. Guess what? Ticks exist in nature. I'm sure. But like, they need, you know. No.

They need brush. They need brush. You could have came close to a bear. Yeah, I was fucking scared. I was scared of that. Well, you were in a van. You would have been all right. No, I mean, on the hikes, bro.

Oh, yeah, no, that would have been a problem. Like, they're not cool during the day. Like, during the day, they're like sleeping there at night. That's the problem. Is that true? I don't know. That felt right. I felt right.

And I'm going to stick with it. Yeah, it just did. So ask me if it's true again. Is it true? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So for you.

Something else happened, speaking of bears, Joey, that I didn't ask you about before the show. All right, P, our boy Robbie Coltrane. Ruby is Hagrid. What the hell does that have to do with bears? He's a big bear-looking man, Hagrid. That was the branch. That was the bridge.

Right before the show, you're like, yo, and then you're like, I'll say that that was it. Yeah, Hagrid, bro. I know. It was my guy. That was our boy, dude. Yeah, there is no Hogwarts without Hagrid. There's no Hagrid without Hogwarts either.

Maybe that's the line. I think they're both correct. Okay. But that wasn't sad. Did you watch the guy? I did. And did you see his? Yep.

And it didn't make you. Yeah, I cried. My God, man. I know, I did. It was fucking, that hit me. That's what I said. I won't be here. Who's voice did I just do?

I don't know who that was. He's got a bit of a Scottish little Welsh. I can't do it. But he said he won't be here. I won't be here, but Hagrid will. And I was like, God fucking damn it. And he was like a little sad. You knew that that was a man that like knew.

He was like, I ain't got that much time left. Look at me. I'm a fucking slob. His words. Not mine. Go easy. Not mine. He did not call himself a slob.

He called himself a slob. No. Watch the video. He says it nonverbally. He's like, anyone? Let's say this. Anyone that does folds their hands at the top of their belly knows what's going on with their health.

Do you do that? No. Okay. Do you? I don't know. I don't think so. If you're up here. This is me when I'm watching like.

Only people porn. When you go from one video to the next and you're like, hmm, okay, let me. No. Search around here. This is how I watch like sports when I'm pissed. Oh, I'm ahead above the. Oh, you're doing that?

I'm ahead of here because like how. Oh, that's right there. You know, like when the Yankees, I was like, what are they? No, but what if they're down like seven runs? You're and then like, you're just mad. Not that like, if it's a regular season game and they're down seven runs, I'll do you one better. I'm not even going to watch.

Yeah, I'm going to turn it off. If it's the postseason. I watch like that. I watch with. Watch like the whole time. Yeah, it happened. Bitch. Yeah, exactly.

All right. Well, the acting is going too long now. So that seems a whole thing. Well, I'm trying to, you know, get into character. Let you know what it would. It's like, by the way, I ate a whole. I. There was a town that we stopped in the first day that we

landed in Seattle and it was the Bavarian thing. The whole thing was like German. Weird. And they had a place that that served. Germans famously not going to Seattle much. I guess they are. But there was a place that served bratwurst. It was.

I don't think I've ever had bratwurst. What the fuck? I've had kibossi. What the fuck is that? I mean, I know Polish. That's Polish. I believe. Okay.

But it was Turkey kibossi and it just tasted like just disgusting hot dog boss. Yeah. I know what you're doing. Yeah. And it was it was not good that I had was jalapeno and chat. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah. What made it bratwurst? Um, Germany. I gotta say Germans not a great track record. They had one blip. No, that's a bit of a blop. He has a bigger than a blip.

It was a bloop. But they know how to make their sausages. Well, yeah, they do. Those things when I see a kebab like a bratwurst. A kebab. Yeah. When I see it hanging there. Yeah.

I'm gonna bite into that little fucking wiener. I know. Take it easy. But for some reason hanging meat is so good to me. It looks way better than regular. We walk into a place and they got hanging meat. You're like, oh, it's hanging. And you know, you place is great.

Yeah. When you walk into an Italian like an old Italian market or something. I don't know if you've ever been to one, but when you walk in and you could see that the so bizarre that they're giving you is cut from something that's been hanging from fucking drop ceiling and there's a little Frank Sinatra on the background. That's the way you look.

Yeah. Wow. Who are you? Give me another. Give me another. Frankie sins. What's it? Frankie sins.

Well, that's what I called them. I mean, no, I'm scared. You can't do it. Yeah, you're right. No, you're right. You walk away while you're on top. John L. Well, sorry.

Sorry. I like hanging meat. Oh, hanging meat is the best type of meat. Yeah. Because and have you ever had like like homemade? But you're homemade. Yeah. What's homemade?

Like made in a garage of a home. How do you make perjude? You cure it. You hang it. Oh, no. Yeah. Well, I've had I mean, yeah, dude, it's fucking good. You're Colombian and Greek family hung perjudo.

Hold on. Did I take ownership of the people doing this? You said have you ever had homemade? Yeah, I have. It doesn't mean it came from my home. I just said I like hanging meat. Yeah, it was somebody else gave it to me. It was an Italian guy that I work with.

I walk into a place and a fucking guy gives me. No, but I was like, where do you get it from? And he's like, I did this by myself is my meat in my garage. That's what I'm saying. It's homemade. Yeah, but how's that different than me going to a store and they're hanging it up and the guy's giving it to me. Come on, because that you don't know where that's coming from.

This one. If you know the person, you know where it's coming from. Oh, yeah, I know what's coming from. That's my favorite. It's coming from their garage. Exactly little fucking WD 40. Exactly. You got to tell me that listen, the best food is the one that

is made in the worst conditions. Okay. Those fucking the food stands on the corners. There's no way they're getting a ratings. They're disgusting. Yeah, but they got the best food in the world. I do like disgusting hands making my food. I'm not gonna lie.

I do too. Like if I if I'm seeing someone and they have gross hands and they're making my food, I'm like, this is great. Like you went to that like fancy ass dinner in that apartment and they handed you like a fucking fish with like green bubbles on it. I was like, this looks so fucking. I would have smacked that shit against the wall.

Probably delicious. Bro, so good. But I want just a disgusting fucking, you know, like Egyptian man sweating and spitting all over my rice. Something slutty. Yeah. I want a Greek asshole smoking about four packs of fucking Marlboro Reds and just going like, ah, what do you want?

Yeah. And I'm just like, bro, gyro, extra sloppy. Yeah. And they're like, they might spit in it. I don't care. Yeah. Makes it more tasty. I like, I like Louis CK has this joke.

Oh, has it has a joke. No, he has this joke that he said. He's like, I walked into this Polish deli and I just went kind of a sandwich and the guy just went, yes. And he goes, and then he just made me a sandwich. I love that joke because it's so true. You walk into a place and you're like, I'll just like have what you guys make and they just give you shit.

Yeah. What's your favorite? All right. Honestly. Yeah. Here we go. Ready? All right.

You go to South Chris and Charlie's. If you're a New Yorker, famous, famous sandwich. Don't, don't, don't, don't. What's your order? The bomb. Oh, you're getting the bomb? Yeah. You want to eat for four days?

Yes. Wow, dude. Or the Italian. Let me get the Italian, sir. By the way, the bomb is every meat, every cheese, every topping, every sauce they have. That's why it's called the bomb. Yeah.

It's literally everything. I've gotten the bomb once. They get so mad in there, dude. I've been in there and like a woman's like, what's up? What's on the bomb? They're like, come on. Everyday. Everyday.

But come on. They're like everything. And then they're like, and they're like, what, what do you mean? And they're like, everything, everything's on it. Like, they're like, oh, okay. Bro, never fuck with people that work at a deli because they are the least patient, patient people in the world. If you walk up and you don't know exactly what you want,

you're going to get barked at so fucking loud. Especially that place. Bro, especially Salkers of Charlie's, where the people that are behind you are fucking, you know, like all like FDNY and YPD. They're waiting there. You're the dickhead in front of all of them. You should let them go first, but you're not going to because

they would want you to go first because they're the real heroes, bravest finest. And then you're like, oh, let me get and they're like, come on. Let's go. Let's go. It's honestly like a real life soup Nazi. It is kind of like a soup Nazi. Yeah.

That's probably where soup Nazi gets it from. Yeah. Salkers and Charlie's. Yeah. But my order, you ready? Go thinly sliced perjude. You asked for thin? Yeah.

Do they offer thin? You can ask. You can ask them for thin. Okay. Finely sliced perjude. Fresh mozadelle. Oil and vinegar. Oregano.

That's it. That's your whole sandwich? That's my whole sandwich and it's fucking delicious. That sandwich fucking sucks. Wait, what? You have one meat on it. Yeah. That's all you need.

Thin meat? Joey, there are people starving in this world and you put fucking half of a country's global domestic product on your sandwich. It's good. It is good, but you're being a selfish prick. You literally just went, let me get, hold on. You oil and vinegar. Yeah. Okay.

On a sandwich? You never had oil and vinegar on a sandwich? Of course I have, bitch. Let me finish. The most fucking problem. Mozzarella cheese. Fresh mozadelle. You have to say it right.

Fresh mozadelle. I actually go up, I say, give me fresh moz. And then you had a, then you have just perjude. Perjude, fresh moz, oil, vinegar, oregano. That's the thing. Bro, you realize half of the things that you just mentioned are sauces and leaves. It's fire, right? You literally have a perjude and mozzarella sandwich.

Yeah. What's wrong with that, Joey? It's not enough. No, there's not enough on it. Oh, oh, so you put the other end of the spectrum? Forget about it. You get every, no, I'm not forgetting about it because if you're going to sit here- I'm going to remember it.

No, yes, I'm remembering it. You're going to sit here and criticize my sandwich, calling it lackluster, when you're sandwiched. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I want to say this too, for everyone out there, because I know I'm going to get some shit for this. I just want to say this and I don't give a fuck, I will fight this the day that I die. BLT's stupid. No, fuck you. I love BLT's.

How are they fucking stupid? It's, it's almost a sandwich. It's almost, almost a sandwich. What's it missing? That, that a normal sandwich. It, guess what it has? Bacon, which has come from where? Little, little piggies.

That's a supplemental meat. It's a supplemental meat. It's not a supplemental meat, Joey. It can't be the main meat. Only because, only because you're a fucking health freak and you don't have bacon enough. You don't have bacon enough. Bacon is an adequate meat for a sandwich. A BLT is a fucking incredible.

That's my go-to sandwich anytime I go to a diner. Yeah, no kidding. Your other sandwich is fucking, can I get a, a piggie? What, what do you eat over there? Did anything complete that you eat? Oh, I'm sorry, Joey. I'd rather put fucking 16 pounds of meat in my body that you won't digest for fucking four days. You, you bitch.

You're getting enough food. You're not rolling the dice. There's people out there starving. You're giving water to kids in Africa, but you're taking their fucking deli meats from them. And you put it all in one single sandwich. Which, guess what? Guess what? I know you, Joey.

Oh, do I know you. And I know that you're taking that bomb sandwich and you're eating it. And then there's a portion of it you forget to eat. And you don't end up eating. And then you throw it out. Because you're a capitalism scumbag. First of all, you don't know anything because I don't do that. If it's sitting in my fridge, I will eat that shit.

Mainly for the simple fact that if you leave it in your fridge for more than a day, your entire fridge will taste and smell like that sandwich. What a problem. You don't want everything to be tasting like that. Oh, no. And now everything smells like fucking oven, oven roasted turkey. I love how you thought, oh, you know what I get? And then you rattled off oil and vinegar, oregano.

You mentioned oregano. Not even worth mentioning. Sorry, some people. And you put dust on your shit. Some people enjoy a little taste with their sandwich, Joey. I enjoy oregano too, but when ordering a sandwich, I wouldn't fucking... Joey, you order a sandwich where your mouth gets fucking gang banged by the entire Green Bay Packers roster.

You want every fucking meat, every sauce on there. I don't get it every single time. I also get the Italian, which is a normal sandwich. And there's Italian's a normal sandwich. There's what, three meats on there? That's too much meat. You don't need that much. What?

You don't need that much. You got beugio. You got the fresh mozzarella. Those are both premium, high quality fucking ingredients. And then don't rattle off anything. You have two and that's all you have because that's all that's on it, bitch. Oh, let me ask you something. Let me ask you.

Can I ask you something? Do you mind if I ask you something? Ask me. You like grilled cheese sandwiches? I... Yes or no, no, no, no. Just don't fucking... Yes or no?

I don't mind them. Give me a yes. Give me a no. Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches? I do. My body doesn't. Okay. I'm gonna try this for the third fucking time.

Give me a yes? Yeah. Give me a no. Yes. Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches? Yes. What's on a grilled cheese? I like to put multiple cheeses.

Okay. But what meat is on there? None. Exactly. You don't need meat to make an adequate sandwich. Bro. You're sitting there. Let me ask you another question.

You get bacon... You get bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches. Enough? Egg! You idiot! Egg is not a meat. I know it's not, but it's a thing. It's like a main.

Yeah. And that's where you have the fucking brujut. You got a meat. You got the cheese with the mozzarella. And then the oil and vinegar are the fucking little dazzle-wazzle for you. Not an expression. And that sandwich sucks. I love brujut.

I'm sure it tastes good, but it's almost a sandwich. No. It is a full sandwich. And also, the place that we're talking about that makes these sandwiches, they have big bread. That's the best part. Can we agree on that? The best part of the sandwiches is the bread.

No. The best part of sandwiches is bread. No, no, no, no, no, no. Of South Christian Charlie sandwiches. Oh, they have good bread. The bread. The bread's good. Remember, we used to steal bread.

We wouldn't steal it. We would ask nicely. No, we would steal donuts. We wouldn't steal bread. No, we stole bread from them a couple of times. They'd leave it outside cooling. Did we do that? We did.

Yikes. So, I'll tell that story if you want. Well, we used to rob Krispy Kreme's factory that was in New York because it was down the block from our house. Past the Statue of Delimitation were okay. We were miners when it happened. Also, maybe it didn't happen. Yeah, that's the thing.

Who did it actually? Not me on a bike when I was getting chased by the cops. Not me. There was a time when we were younger where the factory for Krispy Kreme was down the block from my mom's house. So, we would go down there and then we would run up the loading dock and then we would wait until someone wasn't there and then we would run over and just steal a tray and it was fresh fucking donuts and they were incredible.

Like hot. Yeah. Like hot donuts. They were very hot actually. And then there was another time where there was a bakery near like where we used to play football and on the way home we would stop by the bakery and then it was like a little window that had like a cage on it and they were like, hey, can we have bread? Like we were all laden.

Yeah. Like we were fucking street rats. Yeah. And then they would give us a warm ass fucking fresh ass bread. It was amazing. It was very good. Can I ask you a question? Sure.

You like chicken cutlet sandwiches? Literally before we do that, I'm going to do advertising because I can't yell at you for another 10 minutes like this. Also, I have a headache from screaming at you because fuck you. You, I can't, I cannot believe that you don't honor my sandwich. You don't honor it. You don't honor it. Okay, guys, we have some sponsors for today.

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Lettuce, tomato, mayo, cheese. Yeah? I need a sauce. Mayo, I said mayo. Oh, you said mayo? I said mayo. That's a normal sandwich. Yeah?

So chicken cutlet, only meat on there. Yeah, but hold on. That is a complicated meat. That's a fat meat, right? Wait, hold on. You think I have them putting a single slice of prosciutto on my sandwich? No. They stuff that bitch up.

It's a thick bite of prosciutto. Thinly sliced, babe. Yeah, but they ball it up, Joe. Ball it up. They ball it up. They do the little, you know, like lay it down like a fucking blanket. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about, right?

I actually love that. I do. I kind of do. Yo, you know I love that machine that cuts the meat. Oh, yeah. We've talked about this before. Yeah. I would like to be, if I could pick how to be murdered, it would be with that.

Yeah. To see my face come out and piece it. Oh, I know. That would be the worst. Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't be, yeah. Let's be honest.

If they're doing that to any part of your body, it's your butt. My butt. Or my thigh. Oh, they'd have to cut your leg off at that point in time. Yeah, just do my butt. Um, I guess so you're okay. So you're okay. No, no, no.

Hold on. You're okay with chicken cutlet. Singular meat. Singular cheese. Three other accoutrements. Accoutrements? Yeah. Yes.

So why not mine? I think I see the issue here. It's that I have the fucking sandwich preference. If I had said, what? If anyone else had said that it was fucking prosciutto, you'd be cool with it. I love prosciutto. That's my favorite meat. Prosciutto, cheese, three things.

You're not going to go three things on me. That's what I'm doing. Oil, vinegar, and a regular thing. Yes, it is. It's a sauce. It's a sauce, Joey. It's an oil. It's a sauce.

It's not a sauce. It's a sauce. Oil is an oil. It's not a sauce. And guess what? Guess what? It goes in sauces. Oils.

Oil goes in a sauce. That doesn't mean it is a sauce. Oil is not a sauce. You're getting it wrong here, Joey. Oil is not a sauce. So let me ask you, is vinegar a sauce? No. Yes, it is.

It's vinegar. Vinegar is a sauce as well. No. Yes, because you dip in vinegar. That doesn't make it a sauce. Yes, it does. No. Because you dip in sauces.

No. So I have two sauces, oregano, a meat and a cheese. The exact sandwich I gave you before was a chicken cutlet, a cheese, lettuce, tomato, and a sauce. Frank, you know that's different. Those are symmetrical examples, and you chose to value one over the other. Is it because you hate Italians? I'm Italian, bitch.

Doesn't matter. You think I have some self? What's that called? Eternalized racism? Yeah. 100% you do. 100%. 100%.

100%. Frank, you know there's a difference between those things. No. A chicken cutlet? No, there's absolutely not. Tomato, mayo, and cheese is so different than prosciutto and mozzarella cheese. And oil and vinegar. I'll say this.

And oregano. I'll meet you halfway. Meet me all the way. I'm going to meet you halfway. No, meet me in the park. I'm going to, no. If you put prosciutto and mozzarella oil and vinegar, was it oil and vinegar? Yeah.

It's not hard to say. I flipped. I slipped up. I flipped up. And oregano on one piece of bread. And ate it like that. That is nice. No.

But you can't. Because then your bite would take, your bite would have nothing to go down on. It would take the whole thing of rejude off the sandwich. Hey, not my fault, babe. Yeah, it is. You just made that stupid ass open face sandwich. No. I'm just saying, if you, not like a, not like a hero.

I'm saying like a- You know what you're saying? Like on a piece of Melba toast or something. Melba toast? Yeah. I'm not familiar. Okay. A toasted piece of sourdough bread.

Yes. With some goat cheese and honey, right? I'm getting wet. Yeah. That actually sounds pretty delicious. Yo, low key. Are you wet? Go cheese is fire.

Not low key. High key. High key. Very high key. What's your favorite cheese? Ooh, that's really tough. I'm really- Top three cheeses right now.

All right, feta. Number one? I like feta. Feta is number one. Feta. Not like fucking store-bought, you know, whatever the bullshit is. Yeah. Yeah.

Good feta. Good feta. Brie? I like Brie a lot. I would say cheddar. Oh, no, no, no. Parmigiano. Parmigiano reggiano.

Parmigiano. I love Parmigiano. Yeah. I think you cheese, man. Yeah. That's fucking good. I love Parmigiano. What are your top three?

Go. One. I think, I mean, I don't know enough about cheese to, like, really give a good answer. I know the ones that I eat the most are probably cheddar. I mean, Parmigiano. Parmigiano. And Jack. I'm a Jack guy.

Wait, pepper or Colby? Huh? Pepper or Colby. Pat. You know what I know something? The first time I ever had pepper Jack was your dad. He woke us up in the morning after a sleepover and he, you know, ruined my day by asking me if I wanted my bacon snotty.

Yeah. And then he said he was making eggs and he made a big ass thing of fucking scrambled eggs with pepper Jack cheese on. Really? Yeah. Pepper Jack's good. I wouldn't put it in my cup. What's the difference between Colby and Pepper Jack?

One of them is white. One of them is Spanish. Take a wild guess who is who. Colby sounds like a white. Yeah. Well, no, they're both white. I'm joking. I'm mentioning the joke about their race and ethnicity.

Pepper's not a Spanish. Well, Hispanics cook with more spice traditionally than people of the North American denomination. That's not correct. I don't know. It took me a while to get that out. It was a little boring. Do you know the difference though? What?

Do you know the difference between Colby and Pepper? No. Do you? No. You know what I do know the difference between patrons and non-patrons. Oh. Oh. Look at that.

Patreon.com. That's the basement yard. Listen, folks. We tell you about it all the time. And it's honestly a really cool thing that we tell you about. If you like support, not support in the show, it really helps us. And you can go sign up at patreon.com. That's the basement yard.

Not only will you support us, but we'll give you a little back in return. You rub our back. We'll reach around. You'll get a nice little finger in the butt. We're not going to reach around. Joey does the reach around. I want to tell you that that first tier, you get these week episodes a week in advance. And that second tier, which is really where those goodies lay.

Where the puppies are a barking, if you heard my term. That's where you're going to take it. Not an expression. This is where the puppies are a barking. I'm being dead ass honest with you right now. I think it is legitimately impressive how you can't, how you just come up with them. Put that fucking tongue away right now. Why don't you just started doing this thing?

You never did that before your tongue comes out. Where the puppies are a barking. It's not a thing people say, dude. You just make up expressions all day long. It's insane. So go check out that second tier. That second tier where you can get exclusive episodes every Friday. That way you could start an end your week with some good old baseman yard love.

So check it out at patreon.com slash the baseman yard where the puppies are a barking. No one is barking. Oh man. I wish we had someone that liked us enough to go through and just write down all of my expressions that I've come up with. It would be a pretty laborious task. Unless I think people would be able to get it done. Is your goal to fit that in every episode? Because it makes me want to slam my head against the thing.

What? Laborious. That's a good word. Yeah. I talk like that Joey. You don't talk like that. It's the phraseology I use. I mean if you're unable to be accepting of the fact that I use terminology that is used in a non facetious method then you know that's on you.

I want to spit on you. Let me ask you a question. Do you have to buy a hat from every place you go? I like buying hats. At every hobby you have? This kid watches fucking F1 and gets a Ferrari hat. I don't have a Ferrari hat. I don't have any.

Oh that hat. Yeah. I do. A guy goes on a hike once and gets a. You should see. A guy goes on a hike and gets a hat from a mountain. Yeah dude. I bought it for some woman who looks like a witch.

For? Or from? From her. Okay. Was she a witch confirmed? I don't know. But she looked like you know. We don't know if she was a witch.

We don't know. We don't know. I'm pretty surprised that you just completely ruined my appreciation for my sandwich. It's okay. Also we had so much to talk about. Yeah we got to none of it. Yeah but I'm gonna bring up one of them. One.

One. One. One. One. I think we're losing our minds. You can't lose what you didn't have in the first place. Shut up. We had something written down.

It is confirmed by science that Squirt is P. Squirt is now P. The old, the ye old debate about Squirt and what it is. This is why I've never you know been able to successfully you know get that. Get Squirt. You've never made a woman Squirt. Because I knew it was P so I never even tried. Exactly.

I was just like I know what that is. Yeah. So I'm not even gonna give it a shot. Me too. That's why I didn't. You know any Squirters? No I have never experienced that to be honest. I've met two Squirters in my life.

You've met them. Three. I've met three Squirters. I have had no interactions with them. How did you know? They say hi. How you doing? Well one of them posted like on Twitter.

Like I did it. It was like it was a pretty rousing you know like she conquered a battle. She tweeted out. I'm Squirting. I did it. I figured out how to make myself Squirt. That was the tweet. Something along those lines.

I might be paraphrasing a little bit. Why did she tweet that? I mean she wanted the world to know that she you know squirts for the Lord. I don't know why God came into this. He's in everything actually. Yeah he's always watching. Don't you ever forget. Yeah.

But yeah she tweeted it. And then the other person was like an internet like had an only fans type situation. Before only fans was like a thing. Okay. And they did that. Did that. Did the squirt. The squirm.

But yeah they announced the world that they had squirted. Squout. She had squout. Yeah at one point or another she had squout. And it sounds like she was working at it for quite some time. I love that like it was like this unattainable goal for men. And like everyone was just like it's not P. Of course it's P dude.

I mean not of course. Bro. It was usually clear anytime that I've seen it. And your P's never been clear. It has but like not all the time. Bro I've had some clear P's. Yeah me too. But I'm saying like you'd think along the lines you would see like oh fucking hell squirt.

But from what I understand it always has looked like P's. Yeah. So why. I guess if you gathered it in a cup. I think that was someone ill you fucking freak. I think that was someone that was just like really trying to like be like I did something no man has ever ever been able to do. I made a woman fucking cum. I don't think I don't think it's uh I think we've we've come to the terms that are this piss.

Yeah. I don't know. That's kind of scary dude. I don't know how I feel like I'm squirted on. If you were a woman would you want to figure out if you could squirt. I guess I would want to know. But I feel like as a woman I wouldn't want to all the time because it feels like just extra job. That's a mess dude.

Yeah. That is a mess. I gotta like I gotta like now I get to the bedsheets and bro I hate doing my bedsheets. Yeah you never do. You told me you've never washed your bedsheets. Literally untrue. Nope. I'm right there with you.

Because that is. Maybe if bedsheets were easier to put on than I would be open to it as a woman. That is the ultimate bed like that is the ultimate mess. Yeah. Because you're pissing everywhere. Yeah. And it's getting everywhere. I mean yeah.

And you have to imagine it what does it smell like. That's interesting. I don't know. I would love to talk to someone who has had a bout of squirt. Do we know anyone that has been a squirt laden man. Or a woman. I think I know one person too actually. His name starts with P and then an E.

Well there you go. I wasn't going to say his name but sure. Yeah. You want to call him real quick and ask him what it smells like. Pretty sure he's like training a new job right at the moment. I have no problem calling him and asking him. Okay. Should I?

I don't know. I feel like maybe. I need you to tell me yes or no. I'm scared. Okay let's do it. I'm going to call. You have to let him know that we're recording though. Yes of course.

Of course. I need to let him know that we're recording. I'm going to hang up. He's going to be so like embarrassed. He's not going to answer for me. I can almost guarantee it. Oh I think he'll answer for you. It's ringing.

Say hey you're on the show. Told you that. Absolutely slammed it on. Absolutely slammed. Yeah you try. Oh no I can't do that. Why not? I'm going to text him.

I'm going to say need your help with something. No no no. I'm going to say it's basically when you're out of related so he's not scared. I don't want him to pick up the phone and like just fucking. Maybe he calls me and he's like what's going on. He's not concerned about my life in any capacity. Well that's what I'm saying. You say if you text me I need your help with.

Oh actually I don't know. Yeah you would do what you normally do. Not answer. No need your help with something is less like frantic. I need your help with something is more frantic. No no no. I'm saying like there's other ways that other things that people have texted me and then I call him like yo you good and they're like yeah yeah what.

I was like probably he'll text me this. Really? Well parents don't know how to text parents. My mom will text me like K. I'm like fuck you bitch. Fuck that. That's probably you. Yeah my dad but see my dad's the other end where my dad will send nine fucking commas

and should be like love and I'm like what is what was everything before that. That's so Colombian. It is. He also he's responded to me jaw jaw jaw jaw jaw when laughing. Like dad you're 63 you came to the States. I mean you know it's fucking LOL come on. What are you doing dad? You can't play this game.

No my dad bought a house in Colombia though so now he wants to just kind of like reestablish his roots over there. He's jaw jaw jaw you know really tapping into the Colombian market. I mean it's working clearly. I mean it's getting you. It's been he's been like he never left. He treated the lake house like it was a little Colombia the whole time. That is true.

I remember. I'd be like oh I'm hearing a parade I think. He found a way. Yo this is fucking hysterical. When I was in college my dad called me up once because I was on his phone plan for the longest time. And he called me up. He said call you back in five. I'm gonna stall until he calls back.

He called me when I was in college. I was living on my college campus. I mean you saw there was fucking Wi-Fi everywhere. There was nowhere you didn't have Wi-Fi. And when you're on Wi-Fi you're not using cellular data. And this is before my dad or I was on a unlimited wireless you know unlimited data plan. Okay. And my dad calls me and he's like thank.

What the fuck are you doing? And I'm like what? He goes stop using your fucking phone. So what are you doing? Watching movies? I'm like no I'm not watching movies the fuck. He's like you're using all data. Stop it.

I'm like dad no I'm not. I'm on my campus. I'm here literally 24 seven. There's no possible way. Stop it. I'm like how the fuck. Whatever. Whatever.

The fucking next week we're at the lake house. My dad is streaming a Colombian radio station from his phone. And his wife is on fucking FaceTime the whole time with people in Colombia. And I'm like so he's blaming you. Yeah. I'm like you bitch. To my dad. You called your dad a bitch.

I called him a bitch. He had no idea. I was like the fuck you know it's not me. You have fucking olympica. I was like that's why you fucking the data is so high bro. It's because you got this fucking Colombian radio station on. Why is it a Colombian radio station? He said it made him feel like he was at home.

Which is so cute but also fuck you. Using all the data. You should be home with your kids. Wow. Got him. Clearly you were with him though at the time. Yeah but he wanted to feel like he was not with us. Oh.

You know what I'm saying? Maybe he wanted to bring you to Colombia. He did. He's always said he wanted to. But guess what? My brother and his girlfriend are going in December I think. Oh. Yeah.

My dad is elated. Yeah. Oh they're going to visit your dad. Well they're going to visit and they're staying at my dad's place. Oh. Yeah and then my uncle has a place in the beach so if you ever want to go to Colombia we've got a place to stay. Yeah.

You know if you ever want to go with me to Colombia. Yeah I'm going to go to your dad's house. Remember that time we were in Long Island city and it was like three minutes away from my uncle. I was like oh sweet. We were going to go out to a bar. Oh sweet. I can let my uncle know.

And you looked at me and you were like yeah let your 48 year old uncle tell me we're going to a bar. Ah good times. We're going to a bar. Oh my uncle is around here. I'm like cool dude. Yeah. What does that have to do with us fucking 24 year old.

Really waiting on Pete to call me back here. I remember. Yeah. But I do remember going to your uncle's house in Long Island city. Yeah. Yeah we did. We had a hot tub. Yeah.

We had a hot tub and a pool for a while. I think he got rid of the pool later on in life. He sold that didn't he? He sold that. He owned a four story house in Long Island city. He bought it in like 93 or something like that for like fucking you know a box of cracker jacks. Disgusting food by the way.

Not that bad. Cracker jacks are absolutely disgusting. Caramel popcorn. It's not but it's not caramel. It's like the shit caramel. No. It's caramel. No.

No. It's caramel. I'm yeah but I'm saying there's two types of caramel. Which are? The good kind and the bad kind. And how do you decipher which is which Joey? The taste. Oh.

Tell me about your fucking incredible taste buds for caramel. There are certain candies where like like what's the what's that shit the old people candy. Carlson chew. Werthers. Oh I kind of like. I kind of like them too. But it's like that's a different caramel than what's in milk does.

Those are different tasting things. Well because one is harder and one is not. You're that's not why yet yet that's physically why there's other stuff in and where there's originals. They're not just caramel. There's like caramel and other stuff. You know you just said a sentence and then said it backwards like I was gonna like explain your sentence.

There's other additional things. I don't think so. I think it's just caramel. Look it up. I bet. Rollers are like milky ways but they're shaped like buttons which is the worst shape for candy. Buttons.

You know what I shady kind of like? Bottlecaps. You like bottlecaps? I kind of fuck the bottlecaps. I kind of fuck a little bit. They're a very dusty candy though. Yeah. You you have to when you bite them go did you see the tick tock I'm back I'm on tick

tock now. Yeah Frank's on tick tock. Did you see the tick tock of the kid complaining about jolly ranchers he's like yo they didn't put any blue raspberry jolly ranchers in this bag and he takes it and bites it like that's how he eats it. He just bit a raw jolly rancher. Raw dude. Out the wrapper.

You have the best taste in the world. Clearly. My mouth fell apart. Bro you need strong ass teeth to eat those and Jordan almonds. And balls. You need balls to do that. Well yeah. Jordan almonds.

Yeah Jordan almonds. The almonds they give out at like weddings and christenings. Oh yeah. I like them. They're good. No. No. Not a big fan?

No. I want. I need a clip that I sent Pete from I think you should leave. I had we knew a kid in high school that like his teeth were so fucked up and huge and huge that we gave him a bag of Jordan almonds when we were drunk one night and we were like you know eat them bro and he fucking put one in his mouth and bit down on it we lost it. Are you serious?

I swear to God me and Lawrence it was hysterical. I know it doesn't sound like it'd be funny. I was like why there's such a random thought. It was it was so funny. The kids teeth you know like everyone knows that one kid in high school that has huge ass teeth and there's one coming out the top of their gums. Yeah there was one kid what was that called snaggle. I just think it's called a fucked up tooth.

Maybe. I mean we didn't make fun of him for it. Yeah you gave him a fucking thing of almonds. You thought it was hilarious that he was eating Frank. I mean it was impressive the fact that he was able to do that. You don't think that would be impressive? Impressive. Remember when I just randomly decided I was able to chug beer and you were so impressed?

Of course. Also if you like bottle caps how can you hate neckos because that's the same thing. Are they? A necko? Remember neckos? I remember necko wafers yeah. I also was born you know in the 1900s. Yeah.

What necko wafers were popular in the fucking 1720s. My grandma used to give them to me all the time. Those in Fig Newtons. That was my grandma's gifts to me. Whenever she saw me she would give me Fig Newtons and she would give me neckos. I'm getting a call. Is it Pete? Yeah.

Tell me some of the shots. Hello. I knew this was going to be something. Well we need so are you able to talk right now or are you like with like appropriate people? Appropriate people? Yeah. Are you with people like can you answer a question for us?

I can answer a question. Okay. Well you can but it's an inappropriate question. If it's too inappropriate I just kind of want a service and I don't know. Okay. Okay. Who are you with? Just ask the question Frank.

He's in midtown. Oh he's in midtown. Alright so really important we need to know we were thinking about you. We were wondering someone who has been in the world and in the line of fire of squirt. What does it smell like? It does? It smells like pee. I knew it.

It doesn't smell like pee. What did you think? Well it's because it's pee. I've always said it's pee. But it smells like urine? Not like as strong but hence. But there's a little note. You get a roll it.

How much hint? How much hint? When it rolls toward the back of your mouth you get a little urea. That's like if La Croix made a fist flavor. I didn't think that. Oh 100% I thought it was just going to be like a normal. No that's pee baby. Wow.

Well the reason we were talking is because of the recent scientific study found that squirt is pee. Yeah I thought that was like a very known thing. Thank you that's what I said. Yeah there was definitely rumblings but now it's confirmed by science. Yeah science figured it out. Elon Musk is really putting pen to paper. Yeah that's phenomenal. Alright second question.

Sorry sorry sorry one more. Second question for you. Second question. Okay are you ready? I am ready God. When's the last time you went to church and gave yourself up to God? Thank you so much. Alright goodbye Peter.

I'll talk to you in eight months. Wow I honestly didn't expect that. That's the way I knew that was what it was. I didn't know that it was going to smell like pee. Of course it was going to smell like pee John. And that was a really good explanation too like if LaCroix made a piss. Well I mean if LaCroix anything LaCroix has tastes like piss. Oh I mean it's a seltzer.

No it's not good. Who's your favorite seltzer? Seagrams. And you say I'm old? That's literally a black and white type of thing. Or no no no. Shwebs. Which is the one that comes in the gray can with whatever flavor it is.

It's like the hint. Gray can? It's like a silver can and if it's like lemon line it has a green underline. Seagrams or Shwebs? Bubblies are good. Bubblies are good. The target ones are really good. Bubblies good.

Pollers good. Pollers are good. Houses good. Houses very good. Those are your boys. Those are your boys. Yeah well there you go folks. We know people that know people.

We have a gay correspondent. We have a squirt correspondent. Yeah. So we're always looking for more correspondents. We are. Frank we're going to find you. Well. Get the fuck out of here.

FAlvors8085 on Twitter. The Frank Alvarez on Instagram, Tiktok, YouTube and go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com. We get the 12,000. Joey and I are going to hire a drag makeup artist to come in here. Do both of us up in drag. We're going to document it and we're going to do an episode in it for our patrons. Yeah you guys can find the show at the basement on Tiktok and Instagram and that is all.

See you guys next time.