The Basement Yard - #389 - "Iglooing" Is The New Cool Thing To Do

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the bass Welcome back to the bass min-yard Frank has a call about eight Your that was it that was just for our video listeners not our audio ones. I was a video listeners the video You know, I'm still getting my my my Podcast lingo down Joey. I'm not professional podcast boy like you. Hmm. You've been doing it for a while now Yeah, I haven't been doing it for a little bit, but like you are like you're like podcast dad. Am I you are I would say so Podcast dad you ever stop to think that like there have been people that have watching you since they were like children Yeah, I get that message a lot. It makes me feel old as shit. You get kids hit you up a lot
Starting point is 00:00:41 That's not what I'm that's what you just said. No, I'm saying people are like I've been I was watching you since I was like 13 And then you say like I oddly enough have been watching you since you were 13, too I Think I actually brought it up the other day on a patreon episode page on that What was the URL again patreon.com so I don't pay money hard got it That I got a cameo recently and it was like this is for my daughter's 16th birthday You did one for her two years ago, and I was like whoa. Yeah Maybe don't when I first started making videos. I remember this is one of the first time
Starting point is 00:01:18 There's a lot of nudity in them. No Good guess But no when I first started making videos I was at the park playing basketball and We were like in the middle of a game and a guy comes up to me with his daughter who looks hmm? Eight okay nine. Okay, and goes my daughters are a big fans. They would love to take a picture with you I was like bad dad Dude at that point my first video ever was
Starting point is 00:01:45 Oh Yeah, how to tell a slut. Yeah, and you're like y'all was really good my girl You're like sluts loving titties. I love slut titties That's what you would say. That's exactly how you said it to know that do not I remember wasn't there a story that someone had Like followed you home. What I I maybe I'm incorrect But like someone was at a park and they like had like their they like drove their they followed you home And they drove their daughter to like knock on the door and say like oh, no that was on Easter Sunday, and I wasn't home Okay, still weird. I mean my dad was home. Oh, yeah, my dad bro was like
Starting point is 00:02:24 literally What they what it's wrong a woman drove her daughter and like her friends. Yeah Nine they were like joke they're like 12 years old but like They were in the car and the woman knocked on my door and we were at my aunt's house, but my dad was home classic and No, notably your dad not with you guys on Easter Sunday, right also definitely not wearing pants at this point And knowing my dad he was not wearing pants, but he was like, what's the matter with you like to this?
Starting point is 00:03:00 Yeah, I Sunday I would say the exact same thing. It's the Lord. That's that's it's Sunday Which is the Lord's day, right? But Easter Sunday. That's like his that's a double Lord. That's the double Lord Yeah, that's the day he like came out and he was like oh He's got a beer. Yeah, the Lord and his pet pet I was trying to make a connection to the Easter rabbit there, and that was so bad I was gonna say I was I honestly was going in the route of like did he have like an animal like a like a companion
Starting point is 00:03:29 I didn't know he's the lamb of God Is he the lamb of no, I think he's like out on the lamb is like when you're like running from the cops What isn't that what out on the lamb means who says out on the lamb? What are you talking? I've never heard that saying I've never heard that saying nor have I heard it in a religious like well I I don't I honestly don't know the lamb of God, but what does that mean? He's the he's the lamb Why do then why do we eat lamb on Easter? I? Don't oh you're you Greeks do I do yeah, but we're just like eating Jesus Well, you guys do that every Sunday anyways. It's like here's the body body here. You ever think my blood
Starting point is 00:04:02 Drink my blood this might be my penis you never know part of my body this is you I would never drink blood I mean you have I drank wine, which is the blood of Christ metaphorical blood No, no, isn't it? I think it's real blood. It's great. It's great blood You never drank your own blood you got a cut you're like I don't like doing that really I do it all the time metal is shit It does doesn't yeah, what it's metal I've cut my mouth, and then I can taste that but like never like Oh, let me guess from like boxing or like falling down jogging half a mile. No, just half a mile not a lot by the way No, but
Starting point is 00:04:41 Yeah, he's the lamb of God. He takes away the sins of the world's have mercy on us There's something there's a prayer or like a song that was like that they would say that Where they would be like have mercy upon my soul had mercy on my so Somewhere in my heart turn cold that's for descent. Yeah different God He is a God. He is a God You give it up anything for Lent this year what's your Lent given up Well, I haven't given up anything for Lent in years. So maybe you gave up Lent for Lent That's what I've been doing. Oh, I think I always like to give something up just to you know boss always gives up drinking
Starting point is 00:05:19 Well, that might be for the better he drinks a lot well well I can't speak to now I don't ask him now if his consumption previously drank quite a bit sure that's good for him I don't I don't you know, I'm not a religious guy. We're gonna give up. I don't know I always do give something up minor league hats Well, no, I'm not give that up Why are you making fun of my hats? I'm not I'm just saying you always well you want some cool You want some cool Brooklyn hat now that just has like just an X on it and it's like what's that and it's like Oh, it's this really chic fucking clothing company. No, like X time or something like that. I know
Starting point is 00:05:52 I'm just saying you wear a lot of those hats. I I have like four. Okay, hundred Four no, I have more MOB hats than they have fucking minor league hats. Which one is that? It's it's a it's the Dominican League affiliate of the Philadelphia Phillies is it It's it's I bought a cool hat. That's why I bought it be honest It's the colors and the and the logo. Is that a squid? It's a jellyfish. Got it. I believe they're called like los Inhorrenables or something like that. Okay, that is Dominican sounding, but yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna give up for Lent this year I think maybe give stuff up. Maybe maybe I'll try get ashes ash Wednesday No, I didn't do that because I'm not religious, and I think that's a that's a Catholic thing
Starting point is 00:06:37 Oh, what are what are you again? You're like a I'm I was baptized. What was that? You're orthodox or a Greek orthodox. Yeah, but I don't know what they do I just remember when I was a kid. I was in a church there that people were screaming at each other like you know And like holy scream you went to a Greek church. Yeah, that's where I was baptized. That's where my parents got married. Oh Do you do you know it ended before before I was destroyed before I got fucking before I just shreds. Yeah before destroyed the house Where do you think what was your parents like wedding date date? Yeah, do you know no really? Why would I know that? I knew mine. I was talking to my mom the other day. It was like January 26 I think my parents remember when my car got totaled. Yes, I do
Starting point is 00:07:23 It was the day of my sister's wedding and my mom apparently the insurance company has been calling and trying to and I was like I don't want to deal with you don't care. You can just buy it outright cash Well, this was six years Joey money bags anyway She was like, yeah, it's on it was the I was like I don't even remember when it was but I remember like kind of what happened and when I saw the car and She was like, yeah, it was on the day of your sister's wedding. I was like, I don't know when that is Your mother's daughter eyes. I mean, I assume you would remember that too. You don't remember dates like that
Starting point is 00:07:52 No, do you remember the day? I don't remember people's birthdays and shit. I don't know anything. What's mine? I know I know And I remember your house phone number. I don't know your cell phone number at all I know your cell phone number. Well yours has changed to be fair It's been the same for like 12 years But it has changed it has My old phone number was my brother's number for a while and then he would he said that like He recently got rid of it. He would always get text like yo Frankie. Yeah, and he was like no
Starting point is 00:08:23 This is Patrick But I remember your house number. I remember your cell number. I remember I remember a lot I remember like my sixth-grade girlfriend's house number. I remember yours. I remember my own And then there was another one. Can I say it? I'm gonna let it fly. Here we go Don't because people used to call my house phone all the time. I also has it hooked up. I'm like take it off the wall What's wrong with your mom? She's just you know, yeah She's been through a lot. Oh, I was not going that route. I was joking. Oh, okay What are we talking about trauma phone numbers? Oh, yeah, there was someone else's phone number that was so random
Starting point is 00:08:58 And I was like, I don't know why I remember this also. I'm so bad with birthdays, but I remember Jamie's birthday. Oh, how can you forget? I was obsessed. I was great day February 7th. Yeah. Wow. That's where you know, too Yeah, and one of the reasons I know is because seven and the birth year were in her cell phone number I remember that too. You remember her cell phone number Yeah, I remember I remember and in like just stupid amount of information that I would never be able like there's no reason for me To have it, but I remember it. Yeah I mean, yeah, I'm horrible all that shit You and you remember my phone you don't remember my phone number
Starting point is 00:09:29 So like if you were like, I know your house phone if you were to get in like big trouble and you needed to call me Nothing, you wouldn't there's only a certain I know like my besides Keith I know everyone's phone number besides Keith because he got he recent not recently But like within the last like five years, I think got a new cell phone number. Okay, but the one before that I didn't So like I wouldn't be your point of contact if you got in trouble I wouldn't know how to call you that's you should probably write my phone number down I'm not even certain of the area code to seven one eight. I'll tell you that well, there you go folks I'll go through the hundred thousand or nine hundred thousand rest of it. You really want me to yeah
Starting point is 00:10:08 You're gonna have to get another one I know you know what time I was streaming and I acted and accidentally like generated on screen I was like going to sign in to something and like you know how like things like auto generate and a generate I ended the stream deleted the whole thing started it back up. You know, it's funny Yeah, I don't know if this is still their phone number, but one of our friends David growing up when I would give out my number to people. I didn't like I would give them his number Nice all the time. So they're like, hey, is this Frank? No. No, I would say my name is like I would be like they'd be like, well, what's your number and I'd put in his number
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah, and then I'd put in like fucking no name, you know, I would just say like that's it So like he would always I think he had gotten like random calls and texts. Have you ever been out and someone like Asked you for your number and you're like It would feel weird to say no, so you just put in a number that just like it isn't it I'll do you one better Joe. No one's ever asked me for my phone number. How about that? Not like that type of way. No, no, no, I know exactly what type of way your reference like a dude just being like, yo What's your number? No, cuz if it's a dude, I love boy like friends like I love like how much do you love hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on sexy boys
Starting point is 00:11:22 No, you meant to say sexy. No, no, no, like if I'm like hanging with another guy No, stop with the sexy boys right here. Okay, man. Stop. I didn't put sexy in there at all If I'm hanging with guys and we're like being bros, I'm be like, yo Like let's let's like let's like exchange numbers. You get close enough to him. Stop what you're doing You know what I'm trying to say Stop if I want it maybe a more if me and this guy want to chill again. I Stop what you're doing Joey. I'm not stop. Okay. I would do the same. No, you wouldn't you're too clearly You're giving fake numbers out to people. I don't like but if I was with us
Starting point is 00:12:04 Yeah, if someone that I don't like asked for my phone number. I'm gonna say no I don't I don't I don't like to do that. I just put in wrong numbers. Oh really only change one digit So I'll be like, oh, I was an accident if I get found out. Oh, no, that there's that fucking thing where it's like you Changed like read the number back to someone and change the last digit from what they put in So if it's wrong, they'll tell you like no, I put it's this But if it's right, they'll be if they just like go with it and it's like, I know you gave me a fake number. Oh I see what you're saying. I've never That's only no one has ever asked. No one has been like, oh my god, you're cute like give me your number
Starting point is 00:12:39 That's not what I'm talking about. Well, that's never happened to me. Did I ever tell you about when I was on bumble? You're on bumble. I was on bumble for a hot sec. Yeah Never got a match not one not one Feel like I don't believe that you don't have to it's the truth. Well, when was this right before I met Becca? So this is before what do you mean when was this like there were different errors in my life where you know I'm saying like if how long ago was it because I don't think bumble was like a really popular thing at the time It was popular. I remember because trying to help you. I know you're trying to do No, it's funny because I was I was friends with a guy that I worked with at the time
Starting point is 00:13:16 But did you meet this guy out and get his number like it out cut it out? And he would always show me his matches like on a nightly bit. He'd be like, yeah, I match with her her her Like alright, and you just like never got one damn never got one Maybe it's cuz back then you were wearing like ties all the time. No, I was actually this was when I was post rd Frank Oh, wow. This was prime infection phase. So it was real sad Infection. Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Yes, you know, I'm talking about what are you talking about? Yeah So I was going out. I was drinking a lot cool, and I was getting infections cool like
Starting point is 00:13:51 Health related ones. I should probably yeah Yeah, not STI Like it was due to health due to health due to health. So yeah, I was not a very sought-after commodity. Wow Not like you mr. Hot Money bags over here. I'm so would you call me the other hot money balls? There's some big balls balls balls. You're you were always hot. No, and there's actually I actually read something today That can kind of help contribute to your big old balls There was a study done in China Yeah, apparently drinking Pepsi and Coca-Cola can increase your testosterone levels and thus the size of your balls
Starting point is 00:14:30 I don't know about that. That's what it said And also if anyone over here has big fat balls because the coke and Pepsi is gonna be you whoa What does that mean? You love I do I love Coca-Cola, but I don't drink it that much. I can't my body don't want it Yeah, what do you mean? I don't want it anymore That's cool But you drank a lot of it as a kid and I don't got giant balls You probably have bigger balls than me because I didn't drink a lot of it I actually think about that sometimes if I loved Coca-Cola, dude, I did I was a Pepsi girl
Starting point is 00:14:58 I don't understand why you were a Pepsi girl. It's sweeter. It was too sweet. I didn't like it. Coke had a bite It was a spy shit. That's why I didn't like it. I like I'm eating. It's like eating now. I'm drinking It's like drinking pop rocks. I love that. I love that It was like a thing that like I would connect over a Coca-Cola with my dad had to find something Yeah, I had to find Jesus Christ. You're really grasping at straws with pop Pop-pop Yeah, my dad. Why are you calling him pop-pop like a white fucking man from Jersey? You ever call your dad poppy? Absolutely not. Oh, I feel like you have no I promise you I have not big poppy. No, absolutely not
Starting point is 00:15:36 Damn it. I I've never in my life. He calls himself big daddy Yeah, big daddy landed. Yeah, he got back from Columbia and he was like big daddy's home I'm like, please don't ever again. We're please don't do that big daddy but I was a big Coca-Cola fan and I used to have it in middle school when I went to baccalaureate I would have a BLT and Coca-Cola for breakfast You know Coca-Cola In high school pretty much every day in the cafeteria you put like money on a card and you could just swipe it You went to a cafeteria that had Coca-Cola and cans Joey
Starting point is 00:16:14 What you went to a high school? No, that was big. How about I just tell the story. Go ahead shut the hell up sir. Yes, sir So But I would go every day and I would get a bacon egg and cheese And then I would get sugar two sugar cookies. Oh, I thought you're gonna say sugar packets I was gonna say no, no, that's a problem. No two sugar cookies a bacon egg and cheese and a you who every day Oh, well, you basically were having a Coca-Cola between the sugar cookies in the you who I should have just ate a pack of cigarettes Yeah, people guys you who delicious not milk did I tell you this to the lunch lady? I forget her name, but she was like very animated. It was something stupid probably like Miss Grundle, bitch
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah, it wasn't it was just like a first name like Helen or something. Oh, they love lunch ladies love having regular ass names and fat asses But not like good fat ass like like out of a rolled doll book You know what I'm talking about who rolled doll roll doll roll doll. What's that the guy that wrote the witches? Harry pot not Harry Potter Charlie in the chocolate factory the author bro. I don't know, but she did she had a big ol fat Don't she had a big old look like she was an ass full of dump. She was that's what she had but anyway Every day I would buy it and she she would like yell out what I'm ordering which I hated to she'd like bacon egg and cheese Sugar cookies and a yahoo
Starting point is 00:17:37 She was to say like that. Is she dead? Haven't checked in on her hope so after that yahoo thing, right? Yeah, she would yell that every morning I was like, I literally just want to eat this and shit my pants in an hour. Can you just Well, the joke is you would have shit your pants either way because of that I BS that you still say that you don't have But apparently I was the Coca-Cola boy. Yeah, I remember it for like their 100th anniversary They're in like 2008 or 2009. They released like old bottles with like current Coca-Cola in them I actually still have one you're gonna make fun of me for this What did you have an old coke? I have an old Coca-Cola bottle
Starting point is 00:18:10 But I drank the Coca-Cola and I filled it with sunflower seeds and I wrote my name on it and it was displayed in my room Why would that be cool You wrote your name on it. Yeah, it was like mine, you know like the two things that I said were like me like Coca-Cola and sunflower seeds That's your personality You are you you thought this is the best way to represent my 2008. Yeah, absolutely And then I was probably just like fucking Crip walking a damn franchise boys in my room by myself Well, what else you're gonna do well as one does at the age of 16. That's what I'm saying But wait, so it was a glass bottle. Yeah, I still have it. I still have it in storage. Are you a hoarder?
Starting point is 00:18:52 No, I'm well that sounded like yes You're a hoarder. No, I know you're used to nose sounding like yeses, but I am not I am Not a hoarder Okay, yeah, I just like to keep things of value to me Joey I have a I think we actually did an episode on Dot com slash the basement yard we brought in like old like timey not old timey But like things that we had from growing up and I I brought in
Starting point is 00:19:22 Like some random stuff that I had. I remember I had a three inch nail that was covered in 40 caps Yes, oh my god. Yeah freak. I'm out. How am I a freak because I like to keep things that are fucking sentimental to me How does that make me a freak answer that? You want me to I'll say that go two examples that you just gave honestly the only two that you've said so far One of them was just a bottle of coke filled with sunflower seeds That means a lot to you the next one It meant a lot at the time it meant a lot at the time. What does it mean at time right now?
Starting point is 00:19:54 I also have bullet casings Bullet casings from what gun you don't have a You stole casings of a bullet from my high school forensics class And what you think that is cool you were like yo fucking guns And you still have them. Yeah You're a hoarder. I'm not a hoarder. You have a nail that has 40 caps driven through the nail. Yes That's not a hoarder. I mean anything because I what does it mean to you? What does it mean? I remember it made me it brings me back to the night that we would drink forties and
Starting point is 00:20:29 The night that our friend Manny said he had to go fight someone Yes, and he took that and he was gonna use that to stab them You know what you could do instead of keeping that for the rest of your life you like this That's it. No, no, but no, no, no, have you ever stopped to think of what stories you've not told and you've just forgotten Yes, and as we do this show I feel like it some of them come out fucked up It's fucked up like isn't it sad to think that there are some fucking hysterical stories that are just gone I know that is fucked And that's why I tell these stories and I keep these things because then I hold them in my hand
Starting point is 00:21:01 And it's like a fucking horcrux where I hold it and I'm like I'm right back right back to where I was when that went I think that's what a horcrux. You know, you know, I'm talking about Horcrux they need to be destroyed. So if anything you're agreeing with me now. No My dad, you know my that reminds me of something my dad Saved this thing. I don't know why I'm trying to make a joke out of this actually It's a sad thing in it. Yeah, it's gonna have to do with 9-Eleven Maybe just We just let it let them well now I have to say now you need to tell the 9-Eleven story. Well, it's not a 9-Eleven story
Starting point is 00:21:38 It's just that I remember I Was walking cuz like, you know, you go down the basement in my house Yes, I haven't been in quite some time But yeah before we redid it like the walls were like basically made of like I remember it was paneling Yeah, so there was this thing that was it was like a big metal thing that was it was a Cross that was on the shelf when you're walking down and one day I was walking down I must have hit the wall or something and it fell off and it hit me in the foot And I got to the bottom of the stairs and my dad was on the computer that was down there
Starting point is 00:22:08 Yeah, what the fuck is this? Oh, and it was his friends. No what it was was it was a piece of One of the towers guys that they had like welded out across and my dad got it and I was like It hurt my foot And you're like fuck this yeah, wherever this came from you fucking piece of shit. Yeah, that's actually that was cut out of the south No, I'm not a hoarder I just like to hold on to things that bring me happiness and joy and things that I could look back on and say like whoa Like I have some random stuff in there that you would not believe I have a Chad Pennington watch Watch yeah
Starting point is 00:22:52 What do you mean a watch is a watch that are the face of the watch is the green pinstripes and number 10 Have you ever worn that once? Not a single where did you get it? I got it as a gift I forgot from I think it was Christmas for my mom Yikes, yeah, well, no, I like I'm a big jet fan. I you know never work Well, I also like if something is too valuable to me I'll wear it less or do like use it less So this was too valuable to like Becca recently got me shoes and I love them so much that I want to not wear them a ton Because I don't want to like, you know ruin them
Starting point is 00:23:27 Wait, what Becca recently got me shoes so I don't wear them a ton so I don't ruin them because I love them so much What are you gonna do with them? I wear them Every now and then but I can tell you on how many I've worn them twice When'd you get them my father's day last year? You've worn them twice. Give all their expensive shoes Joey. They're the grippies. They're the grippies Yeah, that's why I didn't do it. I like it. It's a little scary, but Yeah, I was gonna ask you something about Pepsi and Coke Okay
Starting point is 00:23:58 Of all of the soft drinks, what do you think equates to having a bigger balls or or a big old man penis? I would say the obvious like a cock dick like yeah, like you don't have like a you don't have a penis you have a fucking crock I would say Coca-Cola is a cock drink Name a name a drink. All right. I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna just start shooting some off right right at right in your face Seven we have penis peepie penis peepie cock and dick cock. Well, hon. Pean. No peepie. Yeah, peepie penis Dick cock. Yes, cock's up. Oh, yeah, the top Seven up Dick, huh
Starting point is 00:24:50 Orange Fanta Ah Yeah, that's a penis our sodas too. I would even say peepie. I It's not peep. I would say peepie. You know what's peepie sierra mist sierra mist is a little peepie It's a little bit of a peepie, but then but then you got Mountain Dew Mountain Dew Mount Mountain Dew is dick because like you got to be really strong to drink something like that. Dr. Pepper That's a cock
Starting point is 00:25:16 Dr. Pepper. I would say cock Really well, why not? It's got like more spice. It's a doctor. I know you don't like it, but root beer is a cock drink root beers I agree. I'm not a big root beer boy, but root beer is for the cock. Yeah, what about cream soda? Peepie penis at best. I would say peepie penis. I love it. I love it, but it's penis at best I don't like root beer or cream soda and like it's called cream soda and it's like yeah Like your pee pee. Yeah. Yeah Um
Starting point is 00:25:47 Cherry coke Cherry coke. Yeah, you remember how they would have like cherry coke lemon coke What was the what was the one that everyone? Oh vanilla coke disgusting people went crazy for that absolutely grow They also went nuts for lemon coke. What the fuck you remember lemon. Oh, I do remember that. That shit sucked disgusting Those were peepies mellow yellow What the hell is that peepie peepie peepie mellow yellow It's like it's like Mountain Dew, but like the other brand Oh, I don't even where would you even get that?
Starting point is 00:26:18 You never went to like a wing stop and they had that giant soda machine. Yeah, of course There's mellow yellow in there. I always get high C when I go there. Oh, you're a child. Well now I'll get juice I know I'll get high C juice No, now I get water. Mr. Fuckin. Oh, I like my chest You go bro the only acceptable drink to get from a soda fountain is coca-cola No, yeah, if I'm going to a soda fountain I either get like a high C if I'm really getting crazy your child or I'll get like a power raid remember Well, here we go soft drink. You remember this brisk
Starting point is 00:26:54 Brisk brisk was that's a weird drink. That was a cock dude. It is cock. It was no You know, it's what I like. You know, it's what I like the moment the snowman That's brisk. Give more. No, that was nest nestly. Oh, is it Nestle? I see nestee. Yeah, they both cocks Both cocks also drinking them out of a can. Oh, I love that Bro ice tea out of the can when it was fucking cold ice cold Bro, I would go to Icy yp get a hot dog and in that fucking fridge I'd get a can of ice a brisk I see I'd open it up to two sips two sips two sips. It's gone one sitting Actually, I wouldn't even take my mouth out. I wouldn't know to sip
Starting point is 00:27:30 And then start again. Oh god, you know what I'm saying like you close your mouth. Yeah, that's that's a can Joey Don't fucking do this did with me. Take a sip again Look where your mouth is an appropriate place to be on a can Your nose is going right into a thick p-hole Can you do that? Why does everything with you need to be about sucking wieners? It's not you just make hand motions I don't make hand motions. You did it in that fucking video where you said I was jerking off the lamp No, no, I am I am I am in full understanding that that video was edited and I will Go to youtube.com slash standing out studios is a video up there called like our hot takes and or whatever the fuck
Starting point is 00:28:11 It's called but like Frankie was like, you know, let's say you get a gene, right? You rubbed the lamp And I'm like I went like this. I went like this. I went like this. I went like this I fully believe it was edited. Look the background. It was a green screen. It was no I didn't Joey Now you're doing it. Yeah, but I'm now you're doing it. You just being by the way I don't know if you've seen Joey. Yeah, we have recently become Gay icons. Dicons. We have become big gay icons on the internet I don't know but like people have been tweeting our videos and clips and pictures and being like these boys can come in my
Starting point is 00:28:44 Ass. Yeah, I did see that. I saw some guy who said I want buckets of their loads and I was like, let me so that's Loads I don't think I've done enough to make in bucket. He wants multiple Buckets, but like you doing that. You just made some someone on the internet real happy Yeah, and I guess in turn. I just did too. Let's do it together So it could be I was excited to see that the gay community because I did see a tweet where it was like a bunch of our pictures And then people were just saying a bunch of like pretty graphic gay things. Yeah, it's okay. Listen Yeah, I mean, it's better than the opposite. Maybe if I was on maybe if I was on one time One tweet that was like
Starting point is 00:29:22 This brand of mid white boy is my favorite. Yeah, I don't know if I should be that's yeah, that's you You are a mid-white man. I honestly believe that I do think that well here comes humble Joey No, it's not not being humble. It's about knowing what I look like and I think that because like I said I'll tell you this when you had that stupid hair flip you were mid But now that you've kind of put more effort into your appearance. I think you're like, you know, you're you know, you're a New York Nine, dude, you're out of your fucking mind ten Frankie stop it. Um, also give an honest rating to yourself. I already know what it is looks Personality talking about just looks give me give me give me just looks
Starting point is 00:30:03 What am I just looks yeah 7.2 with upside you're ridiculous 7.2 with upside you're a dick I can get to like a 7.8. You're ridiculous. I've seen you wear too many fucking towel shirts Like you're you're a good-looking guy, you know, you're at least an 8-8 at least that's insane on a soft day No, no, no on a soft day. I've seen some hot motherfuckers walking around Whoo fucking hot man. No, Joey. There's not that many hot guys like you. No, I'm telling you I'm telling you I like that you're complimenting me But I feel like you your scales off and my scales not off. I feel like you haven't seen enough hot I would say you have the looks your personality
Starting point is 00:30:41 Whoa, I would say it sucks a little bit I would say because you just sit here and you gaslight me and make the world think that I'm sucking on wieners and stuff No, first of all, you I would say me my looks. Yeah Generously 6.3. Oh, and I'm humble six. I'm not being humble. I'm realistic. Look at me. Oh I have tits Joey, you don't have I have boobies I have nipples you have Potential tits you have budding maybe maybe tits, you know, maybe maybe you know when you say that about someone when they're fucking Preep you best and Joey. No, but you don't say you have budding Maybe tits you don't have to a fucking 30 year old man
Starting point is 00:31:22 There they might be I'll tell you this though my personality Ten easy 10. Oh, so you're a 10. I'm an easy 10 personality. Okay, because I got I'm at all I got it all. I'm right. I have it Don't you can't say it I'm smart. I'm really smart. Whoa I'm funny. Okay and I'm selfless
Starting point is 00:31:49 That's all tens and humble it seems You got it all You're over here and you're like hmm. What am I getting my next feed tomorrow? No, that's what you're saying. Oh, hmm, Frank What are you doing that's you that's you hmm. I'm not that hot You know, you are you stupid fucking loser Guys before I move any Forward we do have some sponsors. This show is sponsored by better help which is online therapy and counseling. Okay? Getting to know yourself as a lifelong process and you can get some help from better help. Okay, talk to a therapist
Starting point is 00:32:25 And it is amazing. I've been doing I've been in therapy for like over two years And I think it's incredible. I had my session today Actually and better help is a great way to kind of get your foot in the door and you know try it out It's affordable way more affordable than in-person therapy or you know if you do like a private practice or something like that That's going to be very expensive, especially if you don't have the right insurance. So with better help You can start talking to a therapist in just under 48 hours And it's also affordable on top of it being already affordable You can save an extra 10% on your first month if you go to betterhelp.com slash basement yard
Starting point is 00:33:00 That is betterhelp.com slash basement yard for that 10% off of your first month But yeah, just go on their site fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist And then you'll get hooked up. All right, so go out there and just talk even if you have nothing Remotely on your brain or whatever. It's always good to talk to someone and help sort out your thoughts So go check out betterhelp.com Again, the code is betterhelp.com slash basement yard And next year we have square space square space is the site where you want to go if you have a product Or you want to build a website or something like that
Starting point is 00:33:36 You're going to go to square space It is the best thing on the market for what you need in creating this sort of thing if you want to start an e-commerce store You know or something like that you have to build a website And you can do that through square space and they make it very easy with their templates You know you go on they have a bunch of different templates You can see you know a website like you don't have to learn how to code like I've used square space before to make some websites and They make it very easy to do that and it looks super clean And it's easy to edit or add the pictures you want or change the fonts of certain things
Starting point is 00:34:06 So it makes that sort of thing all seamless and it's a all-in-one platform for building a brand and growing your business as well So go check out Square space You can head to square space comm slash basement and You will get a free trial when you're ready and when you're ready to launch use the offer code basement to save 10% off of your first Purchase of a domain or a website Okay, so again that is square space comm slash basement for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use the offer code
Starting point is 00:34:36 Basement to save 10% off of your first purchase of a domain or a website So go check them out. They have a great thing going if you're gonna create a website or something and then send it to me I want to check it out. All right But yeah, Frank you have Something to say about patreon.com slash the basement yard. Absolutely Joey. Thanks for sending it over to me That's not what I was gonna say so patreon.com slash the basement yard That's where we tell you people about all the fun stuff on the show where you could support us where you could support me Where you could support me telling Joey that he looks like he's a third grader most of the time because of his hair choices
Starting point is 00:35:07 Well, patreon.com slash the basement yard. We have been crushing records. We have believed last week We were at number 15th in the world for podcasts on patreon. Listen Just like 2006 Ludacris we coming for that number one spot. Okay, baby So go check it out patreon.com slash the basement yard. You sign up. We keep breaking records Guess what? We keep giving you guys more of the stuff that you like you get these weekly episodes a week in advance If you sign up for that first here then that next here if you just pop up up
Starting point is 00:35:34 Bop to the top slip and slide and ride that rhythm over to that next here. Well, guess what you get those weekly episodes Don't ever say that again. What are you saying right now rip up pop it up? What do you say slide on over to who? What the fuck did he say? What did you say? Don't rip stuff up. You should be a radio I should Podcast radio Yeah, you should do not what you're doing is what you basically just said
Starting point is 00:36:09 I Can't take too much credit. It's a song from high school musical. All right moving on and you go to that next here You get Friday you get episodes where you can watch exclusive content that the rest of the world doesn't get to see So you start and end your week with the basement yard. So go check it out patreon.com You don't know that song pop pop pop pop to the top slip and slide and ride that rhythm No, I don't This is your homework. Okay. Oh, this is your homework. Okay. Go home You have Disney Plus, right? I do. Okay. Watch high school musical one and high school musical two. I
Starting point is 00:36:45 Okay, and then report back to me. How much time do I have? To report back. Yeah, um a week Monday. Oh I'm not gonna do it. Yeah A week, you know, I've never seen them. Yeah, you should I only know that one song there. Which one? so In There's not a star in heaven that we can reach If we're trying
Starting point is 00:37:16 We're breaking free Bro, first of all, I think we've done I think we've done that song on the show before Yeah, but we just did it again. Anyway, I want to talk about something I want to switch gears from high school musical to something a little more playful playful. Yeah, there's a little horn There's a new trend going on in the Internet. Oh, I like trends. Yeah, it's called iglooing. Okay. That's what it is Well igloos are cold. They're also huts So it has to do with Maybe people that are in like these areas that are getting ravaged by winter storms or just
Starting point is 00:37:46 Creating a little like huts outside close. Wait, did I really get that on the first try? It's close iglooing it consists of freezing your shit and using it as a dildo Apparently that's the new trend stop. Yeah So that's what's happening out there who's doing this Kids you don't pretend like you don't know you know what they're doing, you know, who's doing this? Who's doing this? I what do you want names? User names would be better. I don't know them I want at least an IP address so I could find them and put a bullet in their head
Starting point is 00:38:23 Well, there's like some there's some quotes in this. There's some quotes in this thing. It says They're there in the zip lock were four perfectly straight frozen logs of shit and neatly tied condoms So you have to shit into a condom obvious. Well, yeah, I am I am I am you can't just dildo yourself Hold the sorry. I'm sorry. Holy frozen shit exactly Back up let's go to the back take it back So people are Shitting outside. No shitting into condoms How do they shit into a condom I
Starting point is 00:39:00 Think you need like that's a that's a that's a that's a tag team fucking event there It's hard to even put a condom on that's doubles on the court. You know what I'm saying. I do that's not you can't do that by yourself You might need a spotter. It might be a two-person job unless you're so so they so they defecate They shit. Yeah, this is the opposite of rad. This is dar. Oh That sucked but we're gonna just forget you said that I was like dar what the fuck is that so you're gonna tell me Yeah, that someone is shitting into a condom. Yes, what's the consistency of the shit? log but the I
Starting point is 00:39:42 I'm not this is not a bit I can't fucking handle this. Yeah, and then they're putting it in the freezer or leaving it outside and then having sex with themselves with it So who's doing this women? It said, um, man, but Whom I don't know who is doing this I'll tell you this right now. We did do an episode on other people's lives of a woman who is a scat porn star I'll never listen to that one scat. I don't know. I know ship and she kind of described Doing something so she actually said she's got I got one cooling right now in the freezer right before she we got swear together I have a cooling cool. Well freezing. It's in the fridge poop shit
Starting point is 00:40:23 She said that we also said and I because I was kind of at that point I was like, oh, yeah, we're about piss you do piss. She's like, yeah, we do piss. Oh, it's casual Yeah, we do a little pee pee. What do they do? They freeze that as an ice school and stab each other in the fucking eyes with it No, I think it's just kind of like a like a their version of a Chardonnay so I haven't had Chardonnay in a while and I and it's gonna be a while till I have it again after that comment So why in God's name would something that when something's leaving your body I think the intent is that it's gonna stay away. It's meant to leave because they don't want it there
Starting point is 00:40:59 When you when you drum, it leaves your body. Does that mean poop? Yeah It leaves your body because it's like bad for you. It's like your waist like you don't need it anymore Your body's like fucking done with you bitch confirmed poop is waste go ahead I Science baby. Yeah, so then why in God's name would you freeze it? Although? Whoa, hold on a sec I'm not I'm no I'm not fighting a justification for it. Yeah, but I've seen some Human shit that is like pretty ribbed like lumpy What are you getting at I guess are you saying that all of a sudden it sounds no no no no
Starting point is 00:41:41 Feels like no no I'm not saying that I'm not saying that you are saying though that you can see how it would make a good condom I see how something dildo. Yeah, I I'm saying I see how something that would have you know a lumpy shape Could be sweet like an old tree. No Tree they get lumpy. No, Joey. You see a tree that's like a tree's got a fat ass. No, I'm talking like just like a thicker nerd's rope Okay, you know because it's like all these lumps and crevices and stuff that like your body's like whoa whoa whoa Okay, it's like driving over a road that has a bunch of I feel like that's too ribbed though. You want to well apparently these poops Apparently they're pretty ribbed. Yeah, I am trying Joey. I have come to the place in my life Mm-hmm. I've stopped understanding why people do things and stop being critical of them. I'm not like you anymore
Starting point is 00:42:31 I'm not judgmental. I Have just accepted that people do it and I try to figure it out. Mm-hmm. I Don't know what to make of this dude. Well, I do I don't think there's anything to like kind of like figure out like people Just enjoy shitting into condoms. You know how horny you need to be mm-hmm to poop I think that it's just like it's like a disgusting thing like oh, I'm disgusting. It is it is like I like that I'm disgustingly you need to be I Could never get involved you ever you've had sex before right? Yeah, okay Have you ever like after been like I said that I did that all the time
Starting point is 00:43:11 What's what why did it like and it just in the moment you were like possessed you were like yeah, yeah all the time You have to be so consistently horny and just No logic you have to be premeditated Disgusting horny you need to be like yeah, this is a crime Mmm. This has this has actus reis and man's mens rea. It has both if you think I know what that is Actus is the wrong don't explain it to me You it is wild that someone is gonna be horny that long and just completely Doesn't just care about anything
Starting point is 00:43:43 I don't know that I could like go about cuz like I would have to freeze my shit when I'm not even in the mood Like I'm saying you need to stay in the mood and be like you put it Like in the ice tray. No I hope not. I mean, I hope it's not one of those fucking chest freezers where like everything gets piled on top of it Oh, like where you would put a body that's way. Well, no like how like fridges now have chest freezers Oh, I thought you meant like the big well or yes or yes or something like that. I Can't and then what it's gonna melt Your body produces you gotta use your body produces heat. Yeah, you gotta use it fast
Starting point is 00:44:19 You gotta use it and it's gonna be cold too and then once it thaws out. How do you how do you get rid of that? Yeah, you can't I assume they tie the back of it. So like they can it's for fucking extended use I don't know items break, bro, bro. Imagine if condoms broken your pussy Well, that's happened to the people people filled ones though. That would be an issue. We're talking about UTI for sure That's a slam dunk. We got a UTI. You're going full septic, baby You're going full problem. Yeah, you're not coming back from that. Yeah, your shit might turn green Does that happen? God almighty have made that well. Yeah, I think you did too, but it definitely isn't gonna burn for like a month
Starting point is 00:44:55 I don't I don't think I've ever been so horny I don't think I've ever been so horny. Yeah that like I'm like, yo I am going to shove the next thing that comes out of my body straight back into it Never dude people are into everything people throw up on each other. It's like why I don't know Which one would you rather do or I put these three in order the order the first one's easy But like P throw up and then shit. I'd call my good friend Susan if you know what I'm saying I do know what you're saying, but you have to P is obviously like P's number one. Of course. Peace P. You can deal with it. Peace P. Apparently it's squirt too, right?
Starting point is 00:45:34 So partially well Frogs and toads Joey Throw up and shit Where are both going? What is that like if it's on my foot? Not that bad if it's on my face. It's it's like I Guess like it's we're aiming here, but there is splash Man
Starting point is 00:46:04 What's the consistency of the poop? Because if it's just falling out like a fucking, you know tootsie roll That's not nearly as bad as like this thing dear shit Yeah, like dear shit. I'll play with dear shit all day long. I don't care about that the consistency dude. It's like marbles You're gonna shoot but if it's coming out like fucking baby shit, what if it's like a middle ground in between what's the middle ground? It's like partially harm No, I'll be pissed But you have to rank that like throw up, you know a throw up coming out. I know what throw up is new England clam
Starting point is 00:46:39 Chowder. Oh god damn it Joey Fuck you. I love that soup. Do you I love new England clam chowder? Never had it. What is chowder? It's it's basically just cream and like thickened cream. I Don't know why but I thought it was like clams. What do you think is in clam chowder Joey? Yeah, but I thought the chowder was clam I Think that the term chowder is mostly used for a clam chowder. Is it I don't know of any other chowders I don't know. That's a weird word. It is out. I keep saying it. I'm like, you know chowder It sounds like a white kid's name. It's my son chowder. Oh
Starting point is 00:47:15 His brother Bentley. Yeah, like what the fuck your kid's name is chowder Chowder is a thick soup prepared with milk or cream a roux. You love those love those and seafood or vegetables See, I didn't know that yeah, because you have the fucking palette of a six-year-old boy. That's not true Yeah, you do Joey more things. We went to a steakhouse for Joey's dinner. He had chicken nuggets Fun fact you literally made that up. He ordered chicken tenders at the fucking steakhouse They they had stuffed squid. They had fucking that was really good They had his fucking chicken that came out like it got fucking banged. Yo, that chicken was a whore We went to a steakhouse for my birthday and they brought this chicken and the chicken had the
Starting point is 00:47:56 Biggest juiciest fucking ass I've ever seen on the chicken and they like pinned its arms up like this like like head was on it I was gonna say the head was on it. It was a little weird ripped it off We did we had to and then the legs were kind of like cross like don't look at but like it like fucking like ass up like Yeah, like this thing had thick ass legs And I was like him that came out that came out right before your chicken tenders that you got Third-grade palette that never happened. I would say that we got they were they were like as medium rare cool But like yeah, they brought it out red red thing is fucking right like butter, baby It was I'll tell you that. Oh, you know what guess what I'm gonna do. Yeah steaks
Starting point is 00:48:31 I Love steak. Yeah, probably shouldn't have it a lot remember that cholesterol was telling you about I Would say piss first. I'm down Down for pee. I'm not down for it, but like of those three options pee first Then I guess poop and then throw a blast Wow Maybe I don't know what it depends on what the person ate in both situations Shouter. Oh
Starting point is 00:49:00 See food coming back up. That's really bad. I Would say poop and then oh my god, and then right after I'd get in my car and I'd go right over to this little place that I know called the Brooklyn Bridge Got it Park and I'd fucking swan dive off that son of a bitch. Nice. That would be not fun Yeah, no, it wouldn't what about you? I think we actually spoken about this before I don't really like throw up, but I think that that's probably better If it's like a poop that's coming out like this person's clearly like well well fed good good fiber You know good amount of fiber in there and like you know, oh like you can see it's been doing the right thing
Starting point is 00:49:34 Exactly like a healthy lifestyle, right now if you have fucking like Don Vito Sitting on top of me You know, I'm talking about just taking a big messy. She's just taking a just a sloppy disgusting fucking mud pie. I Would I would know I would say throw up on me all day Yeah How did we get there? This is something that we do and we make money doing it Yes, and people know that we do this for a living Yeah, I'm gonna get to the next sponsors here, but there was one more thing that I want you to talk about
Starting point is 00:50:05 Yeah, of course iglooing. Oh, where else could we go Joey? Well, it's different All right our remaining sponsors for today the first one is rocket money It is great rocket money formerly known as true bill as a personal finance app that finds and cancels your on and on wanted Subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place. So basically there's one app one stop shop It will find the unwanted subscriptions meaning like you know a free trial that you signed up for or something that you're using some You know, whatever it is that like you don't even use you're like, oh this thing I've been paying eight thousand a month for I haven't used it in like six months you can cancel it They help you identify it. You know, all right. Let's save start saving some money here
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Starting point is 00:51:22 That's rocket money comm slash basement go save your money folks. Okay rocket money comm slash basement And lastly here we have fit bod fit bod is great You know, it's an app that creates a workout program. That's personalized to your goals So if you want to put on mass or you want to lean out or you just want to lose weight, whatever your goals are They're different. You can't just go out on the internet and pick any sort of You know workout routine that you think it's going to work. You have to have these specific goals in mind when choosing a workout plan and Fit bod is going to help you do that. You could start making progress to all your fitness goals today
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Starting point is 00:53:04 You're gonna go to a concert. You're gonna go to a monster truck rally or Broadway play wherever you're going You're gonna use C-Geek to do so you can find the best deals on there They have an awesome interface where they show you like this is a good price for this ticket if it's dark green That's really good. If it's dark red, you're gonna be paying more than you want to pay for it So they're very transparent about that Yeah, love C-Geek you can go and you go see Morgan Wallin you go see Taylor Swift You can go see whoever you want to see it doesn't matter Just go on the app down on the C-Geek app or you can go to C-Geek.com
Starting point is 00:53:35 Also, you know, I'm gonna hook you guys up when you gotta get out there. Also the summer's coming up baseball games Let's go to a baseball game or something But you can use C-Geek and you will get $20 off your first purchase with the code basement. So down on the app or go on the website C-Geek and use the code basement for $20 off of your first purchase Okay, this is what I've been using for years. You guys know this if you're a fan of mine You know that I love C-Geek and I have the app on my phone That's where I buy all my tickets for anything. So go to C-Geek.com or download the app In the app store and you will get $20 off your first purchase with the code basement get to it
Starting point is 00:54:14 I'm afraid to see where you're gonna go after this What do you mean after the iglooing thing where you were like, I got something else on I'm bringing up No, no, no, I wanted you to talk about the thing you were telling me about like China. Oh, well China's been they've been busy and they created this device where you can send kisses remotely to a lover that you're unable to spend time with And how do you do that? And it looks like a phone basically, but it has just like a big rubber mouth on it So it looks like a flashlight. Oh my god. Yes, Joey like a blowjob machine No way that this thing because it's supposed to like mimic your kiss and give it back to the other way you kiss this thing That's your kiss
Starting point is 00:54:51 I assume people are gonna be a little more intimate with their kissing show me like a legit like make-out kiss for you No, no, come on. Do you make out a lot? Yeah, me. Oh, I guess I'll say then beckon. I love to make out. Okay. Yeah I saw a tiktok the other day was like Some guys like you don't make out as I had a rough I've had a rough History of making out of making out. What does that mean like growing up? I didn't really know how to do it So I had to like figure it out What? Yeah, when I first started making out, I didn't know fucking clue what I was doing So what were you doing basically mouth over mouth and just an exchange of tongues?
Starting point is 00:55:28 Well, that's what it is. No because there's movement. There's like This was just like Yeah, you got to like eat that you got to like eat their face. Yeah. Yeah, you just had you you left your mouth open We would move it a little bit But like it was more like the tongues were doing the job. You know your mouth never closed. No, it was just open Yeah, oh, yeah, no, you got to shut the door. Yeah, I you gotta know that you gotta blink your eyes You got to tell this a 14 year old Frankie let him know how to do it You love teaching 14-year-old boys how to kiss you
Starting point is 00:55:58 freak bastard I Wish we could have someone guys out there fans viewers friends Oh, just to do all just make a compilation of all the times. I've accused Joey of just being a fucking creep. That'd be very helpful I Was never like I I was so Not good at it as a child. I don't think I ever really but it's not one of those things that like who how do you learn? I mean, well, there's that whole thing like kissing like remember like there was like a thing you'd like kiss pillows Never done that. I never did it either. But I remember being super nervous to make Alex. I was like, what if I suck?
Starting point is 00:56:33 I was so I was more nervous for making out than I was sex Well, yeah, because you knew you suck at sex, right? You knew you weren't good at that there was not at all Just I don't I remember like Just being like I didn't know what to do because like when you see people make out You see the outside, you know what I mean? Like you don't know what's going on the inside That's where the money is made, right? You catch my drift I mean, but you can see them like kind of closing their mouth. I wasn't staring at people making out. I
Starting point is 00:57:08 Hate it. I don't I I'm a little uncomfortable by it sometimes. I don't like it at all. Oh my god I shouldn't see you make out. There was yeah, I agree like it's like indoors. I agree I agree unless you're like both like drunk if you're in a club and it's dark fine Bar like a bar that's like You know decently lit or you're on it You're on a date and you're making out at the place you're on the day like that's crazy Yeah, that's a little insane to me to make out on the street like a normal person. I yeah, I remember one Christmas Eve Making out on Christmas Eve. I don't think I've ever made out. Well, maybe would have you ever kissed under a mistletoe?
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah, absolutely. I've never done that. Absolutely. I'm a happily married man. Joey. I do it every year Kissing you I'm not talking about that. That's what that. What do you mean? Go ahead? I meant like The mistletoe was the thing not you're married to a woman who you kiss obviously. Oh Like it was a thing where it was like, oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh, ha ha ha. No, I always no No, I don't think I've ever been in that situation either Or those fucking really like hilarious men that wear mistletoes on their fucking belt where they're like, uh-huh Okay, so I guess you gotta suck my fucking I Would love to meet someone who actually had has had been falated when having that on definitely one or two people for the world
Starting point is 00:58:22 I can guarantee zero. No, if I was into Guys and I saw a guy with that. I say there's no way I'm touching your weenie tonight. Yeah, obviously no way, dude But I was like I I was scared and like I wasn't good at making out When did you figure it out? I was older Like last year. No, no Like I would say like 24 25 when you figured out how to make out maybe like 20 20 I would say is like the age where I probably don't make out whore
Starting point is 00:58:54 Oh, I was kind of a little bit. I was a make-up. We talked about this on the page around the other day Bringing that question up to everyone. I was a little bit because I bro. I was so horny for makeouts I don't know why I was too. I was so like bro. I would I would make out I would get fucking hard instantly, bro. Yeah Still though like yes, you're making out. It's like, you know, what's up? How are you? How are we? How? How how are you? How are we and how am I and how are we? How are we gonna go together? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, exactly Yeah, the feeling of a tongue is like it gets me. It's like a little squid It is like a little squid don't make that it just I get it excited
Starting point is 00:59:42 Because you're rex right now Check my check come check out. I'm feel my balls. I swear to God. I'm not a whore If someone could hear us oh, they have to at this point yeah, but this this thing from China Instantly gonna backfire we should get one and like send kisses. Yes. Is that is that gay? No, if I send you a kiss on that and then I let it kiss me. What was that? This is the thing that's You know yeah, I said it was like this like a phone you were saying like this and you were like I'll let it kiss I thought it was like a flashlight. No, no, no, no
Starting point is 01:00:21 No, it goes on your phone. It looks like a phone Oh, maybe I'd be down to get one and so all right. Here's the question. I'm gonna put me if you want Wait, whoa, what do you want? Stop throwing it at me like it'd be a fucking honor for you It'd be an honor and it'd be an honor for you to kiss me I'm not saying you can come out there. You could kiss me if you want you just said I'm I asked I asked an ethical question. Yes. If yeah, it is a remote. This is the same as the striking vipers episode of black mirror Yes, and no, they were fucking each other. Do you put they weren't one of them had a vagina though one of them But also no no no wait wait wait my turn my my show, too
Starting point is 01:01:02 If You have the device and I have the device and we just fucking go to town on it and send it back and forth to each other Is that gay going going to town on it? I think it's like I'm not fucking it. I'm not putting my dick near this thing I'm saying like we're just kissing it hard. I know that I But you can't make out with that. I think that's the point is that you send makeouts back homophobic if we say no I think we are I think we'll be on the radar I think I'm comfortable enough at my sexuality that I can fucking send you my makeout message and you via robot via robot And and it's not like
Starting point is 01:01:35 It's not gay got it Whatever we'll see I Probably get freaked out. It's like oh my god. It's Franky Frank is kissing me Oh, I would probably wouldn't feel like you though. It's no it'll be this it's fucking silicone mouth on this thing Weird do what it people have been clamoring to get us to kiss clamoring They wouldn't really like it clamoring. We said at a hundred thousand patrons will do shrooms. Maybe at you know 80,000 will make out Do shrooms before that I think
Starting point is 01:02:05 80,000 you do shrooms before you made out with me That's a little insensitive. This room is my lead In a small dark room Yeah, I don't know I don't know We'll say I gotta try to get my hands on although my actual question though with the black mirror episode, right? Yeah, so if there was the video game where it's like one of us is a girl one of us is a guy you're the you're the girl Okay All right, but then obviously if I was the girl we both would be like oh pull those tits out
Starting point is 01:02:37 I mean hell yeah, I would pull my tits out and be like sick But then you're like yo I'm gonna touch your tits. I'd be like all right cool. It's awesome Who would you is it and then and that's that's what I'm saying like of course I would pull my tits out and then but then you touch what it would you want to see my monster dong? I don't know I wouldn't really but but but but If you touch my tits, I'm like oh dude. That was so dope, but then that's a slippery slope Because then you're gonna be like wait. Maybe I should like Suck on your tits
Starting point is 01:03:05 If you're basically just re-enacting that episode of black saying like would you would you think that would happen? It depends on what you looked like Super hot I Might want to touch your tits Joey. I know I would let you touch my tits I would I would ask I'd be like what do you mind and then I'd be like what would you mind if I you know sucked on them? Yeah, maybe a little bit Yeah, but that's a slippery slope. Why don't you suck on my tits? You're gonna want to suck on them all the time. I
Starting point is 01:03:32 Have children I am not watching I am not yet They're gonna watch in like 10 15 years and they'll be like dad No, they're not be like uncle Joey and I had a real fun time growing up It was so hypothetical in a video game I would say I hope this doesn't get invented because I don't want to be in the situation Joey I'm letting you know now if and when it does get invented you and I are gonna have to bang in this video game Well, we'll we'll stream it on Twitch
Starting point is 01:03:53 That would be well you can't fuck on tWitch Yeah, no you can't Instagram they don't care. I'm gonna go back and watch that episode. Yeah, let's do it Don't watch the episode Not the banging each other yet, okay, I don't think you'd be ready for me Yeah, yeah, I mean I'm in agreement Would you if you found out that getting fucked was like super incredible would you be like, you know Maybe I should try this out a little bit. I don't know that I could let a even a virtual man bang my shit Well, give it. I swear to God 20 years. We're gonna have that technology. I know what a dilemma that's gonna be
Starting point is 01:04:35 Yeah, well, you're gonna have to figure it out Joey. You and I are gonna have to bang one way or another No, we're not We're gonna have to we're gonna have to figure it out. Yeah, we're gonna have to I don't know about that I'll try to get my hands on those the China the China mouth because We'll send those back if I'll send you a little good night kiss. I'll be like good night. Good night best friend I'd put it on my cheek. Oh Not your mouth
Starting point is 01:05:08 Now you're not your forehead said gayer than lips More love it's all a more love because it's more sensual. Yeah, I think I've definitely kissed your forehead though I don't think you have you've barely kissed my cheek You know he's I'm pissed you barely kiss me fucking fucking kiss me more Kiss you more. Yeah, when I when I it's been like a thing that when I when I drink Which doesn't happen much anymore, but like I shouldn't say it's a thing now when I was in like fucking college You're a kissy boy. I was a kissy like I'd see my friends and I'd fucking on the cheek. I fucking ah like direct
Starting point is 01:05:47 Yeah, I love it. I love the show and affection for the people I love. I don't care cool call me whatever you want Who cares who cares? Kiss your boys, bro. Okay, bro kissing your boys and calling them babe all about it. Yeah Super slope though with the right technology. That's a slippery. Yeah. Well, that's all right Sexuality is a spectrum, baby across that bridge when you get to reality is a spectrum You could be like earth straight and maybe virtually gay or like virtually like definitely experiment. Who cares dude? Just whatever this is Westworld Bro Westworld you've already said what you would do in Westworld people yeah banging hook
Starting point is 01:06:24 You absolutely said that like 100% you said I remember you you spoke pretty graphically about what you would do to people in Westworld Yeah, go check it out Yeah, I would rob a train and like kills. Oh a hundred percent. I'm killing robots all day if I know that you are sentient Wait, no, that means just like that means they're like us Maybe I'll kill other all sentient, but they are fake if they're robots. I'll kill them so hard Yeah, so I'm no allegiance to no to robots. You have allegiance to human race. Yeah, just be careful They're listening these cameras robots your computer robot. I just want to say I love everybody They're gonna kill you first you ghost will kill me the robots will kill you right? Yeah
Starting point is 01:07:08 Well, I think that's all Figure that out. Thank you so much Coming up with the title for this episode by the way Yeah, I don't know what I'm gonna say if Albers 8085 on Twitter the Frank Albers and all other forms of social media Then go check out patreon patreon.com slash the basement yard where you can sign up Help us get to that number one spot pop pop pop pop to the top slip and slide and ride that rhythm as I said before Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Oh you guys follow me at Joe Sanne I gotta go follow the show the basement yard on tiktok and Instagram and that is all see you guys next time

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