The Basement Yard - #394 - Some People Are Boycotting Bud Light
Episode Date: April 17, 2023Joe and Frank discuss the recent budlight news, and a cure for airborn illnesses? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the- I'm not even gonna-
Come on!
Just a little bit.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
You know I gotta get in energy mode.
Well, no, you don't.
I do.
I got a fucking-
I saw you out of the corner of my eye doing this.
Do it again?
One more time?
Do it again.
I'll just start doing the intro and then you do what you were doing.
Okay, take two.
Ready, go.
Just cut that all out.
No, no, no.
Keep it in.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Cut it all out.
Keep it in.
Start saying all those racial stories.
Keep it in!
Okay, alright.
Alright.
That's my version of crumping.
By the way, this-
I don't think that's what they do.
I don't- they.
I meant like-
The crumping community!
The crumping community at large.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like at large.
Are they still out there?
Of course.
Underground, though.
I feel like crumping has gone way underground.
Did we talk about that recently where it was like- those movies back in the day were
like gangsters and they would meet up in a fucking basement-
Dancing.
Yeah.
What movie was it I recently watched?
It wasn't Stomp the Yard.
It was-
It was one of those-
The one with Chris-
Chris Brown in it.
Stomp the Yard.
Okay, Stomp the Yard.
Okay.
Then it was like these like hardcore fucking gang bangers and they're like, I'm gonna
get you on the fucking dance floor.
Yeah.
And they'll be like-
And like do that in front of the person's face and they're like fucking trying to fight
him in the middle of a dance.
Yeah, exactly.
Very insane.
Yeah, I don't know.
No one was like hardcore crumping where we were from.
Not at all.
Not even softcore.
Softcore crumping.
Excuse me, little bitch.
What the hell was that?
My Apple Watch is not quiet.
Oh boy.
That sounded like you- you're fucking- up the cake is ready.
What was I gonna say?
Did you know any like dancers growing?
I knew one and I went to a- I dated a girl that was like a dancer.
Who?
Like a person last year?
Just one of them?
Forever.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
That narrows it down.
Dancer?
Narrows it down.
Yeah, she went to dance.
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
And it was tough because I expected like she was doing like a ballet type thing.
The Classicals.
And then there were other people that were doing hip hop.
Right.
Oh my god.
A little weird for me.
Like it's weird to watch people hip hop dance in like a serious setting.
Oh, like wait, it was in the same show?
Yes.
They did like showcases.
It was like ballet and then let's do hip hop.
Yeah, it was like one like they would do like fucking you know a song like a like a nice
sweet song.
A swan song.
Yeah.
Something cool.
The Black Swan.
Well, careful.
What's that called?
Is that it?
It is Black Swan.
Or Swan Lake is the name of the show.
Black Swan is the movie.
Oh, okay.
But and then like the next they'll be like, all right, like that was so beautiful.
And then like next they'll be like, you know, here come white Greek girls from Astoria Queen
and it'll be like fucking hip hop.
Yeah.
It'll be like they're dancing to Fergie.
Yeah.
Fabulous or Fergolicious.
Fabulous.
Fabulous was another song of hers, wasn't it?
Glamorous.
Glamorous.
Glamorous.
You know I remember that song really well.
Welcome back to the basement.
Glamorous.
Yeah.
You, you and like the boys, I'm not going to like this, am I?
No, you it's it's just a story.
I don't know if you remember it.
You and the boys.
Who are the boys?
Danny, Dom.
Oh, the boys.
The boys.
Got it.
Came to pick me up from school when I was a baccalaureate once.
It was when that weirdo rearranged the letters and was like the school of cool cats.
Remember that dumb idiot?
Okay.
I don't know.
We came to pick you up.
You came to pick me up because that was a thing.
It's like, you pick your boys up, pick your boys up from school.
Yeah.
It was cute.
Yeah.
And then like you could show off your boys to like other boys.
Right.
You know, and then it's like check out my neighborhood boys and then it's a meeting of the boys.
And isn't aren't these boys so cool?
But the boys also always kind of butt heads because it's like, you know, I'm his boy.
I'm his boy.
You're his school boy.
You're a school boy.
I'm a neighborhood boy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And we were walking home and I was listening to the glamorous song like, I think I was
playing and actually on my next tail because I had it as a ludicrous as part as a ringtone.
Your ringtone was glamorous.
Take it easy.
I'm the Luda part of it.
Got it.
And he's, and part of it goes, if you ain't got no money, take your broke ass home.
Yeah.
And I remember I was walking and we were listening to it and you were like, you happen to be
looking at me.
So of course I was performing and I was just like to myself, I was like, if you ain't got
no money, take your broke ass home.
I remember that.
And you fucking lost it because you smacked your ass so hard.
You were like, broke ass, well, you know, and I was like, if you go for it, you go for
it.
I actually do remember that now.
Do you?
I do.
Us and Du Bois.
It was Du Bois.
I know.
Du Bois.
How are you doing?
I'm not too well actually.
Today, this morning, I walked my dog and he took a hope.
Again with the poop talk, Joey.
It's not my poop, it's my dog's poop.
That very etiquette sound.
Dog shit.
Hmm.
But there's a reason why I'm bringing it up.
So my dog, every time you bring up dog shit, there's a reason, Joey.
I just want to make that very clear.
Anyway, this morning I was walking my dog and he hoops and I pick it up bare hand.
Why would I do that?
I don't know.
You're a little while lately.
No, I might as well be bare handed.
Bare knuckle brawler.
Pick up your dog shit.
No.
Okay.
I put a bag on my hand, picked it up, hole in the bag, shit hand.
I had shit hand.
For the whole walk, how far were you from home?
Why did you say that?
I was like a block and a half.
So what did you do?
I went like this on the concrete and I was like, I didn't have a ton of shit on my hand.
My question was going to be consistency of the shit.
Was it like, did it leave residue on your hand?
Visible residue.
Visible.
Well, not invisible.
Well, can I ask you a question?
Ask me.
If you had touched it and your thumb or like your hand had touched it, but it didn't leave
like poop markings on your hand, would you take it that serious?
Yes.
Oh, okay.
Good.
Good.
Good.
I just want to make sure.
No.
I, so I wiped my hand on the concrete and just walked home like this.
Did you scrape?
Oh.
Did you scrape your hand?
Basically.
Oh.
So you just walked home like you were fucking like raising your hand like I'm like scrubbing
it for surgery.
It's like, but I was very peed off.
Well, I would assume so.
And I just yelled at him.
It was your dog's fault.
Well, it was the bag's fault, but he was the one you had to blame an organic being in
the area.
I had to.
Yeah.
Not you.
Something with a heartbeat was getting screamed at and it wasn't going to be me.
So it's his fault.
Yeah.
That you were not smart enough to check the bag first.
Why don't you?
It's fresh out of the pack.
So sue the company.
No.
Now you're getting something.
Big billionaire Joe is going to sue the company for everything they're worth.
He's going to sue the doggy bag industry because I mean, this could be a huge lawsuit.
You got to imagine you're not the only person that's accidentally raw dog.
They're dog shit.
Yeah, I know.
You got to imagine.
Oh man, I had a good fucking line there and I fucked it up.
It's all right.
You're going to say that I was, I was going to say like you weren't the only one that
was raw dog and your dog's raw.
That was the line that you thought was so sick.
That was the line.
You were raw dog and your dog's raw.
Yeah.
You know, you don't win them all.
Yeah.
Not everything sticks to you.
I get in the middle of literally.
That's right.
It's exactly the same thing.
Damn.
That hurts though.
Yeah.
It was not cool.
And then I also had this thought too, right?
So I got dog shit on my hand.
And then when I got to my apartment, I went straight to the sink and I like, you know, soap
and water.
I wash my hands.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I then, I guess now it hit me and I remember washing my hands and going soap
is incredible.
Cause I was going like, bro, all I have to do is put this liquid and go like this and
they're clean.
Yeah.
Did you wash your doorknob?
My doorknob.
Yeah.
Like that you got into your, bro.
The hand stayed in the air.
It stayed.
It stayed back here.
I didn't use it to do anything.
You were basically like cane.
Yes.
Like looking a fucking choke slam somebody.
Yeah.
No.
But I was like, I was like, wow, like I'm washing my hands and I'm going, wow, soap
is like nuts.
I was like, how do we have diseases?
If we have soap, it kills the germs.
Well, guess what, Joey?
Things are stronger than soap.
I don't think so.
99.9.
Bro.
All right.
Let me ask you a question then.
Yeah.
Well, wait.
Hold on.
No.
I meant sicknesses.
Okay.
Not like, you know, there's certain sicknesses.
Guess what?
Stronger than soap.
What?
You think if you get fucking like a little bit of like, you know, stuff on you, like
bad stuff, you know, I'm not going to say it.
Well, sure.
Wait, what were you talking about?
I was going to.
There's another one.
Three letters in there.
No.
Blood.
It could be transmitted through blood as well.
You think of people like, let's just wash it with soap.
We're going to be all good.
Oh.
AIDS.
Well, that's four letters, but.
Aid.
Something leads into that one.
HIV.
There it is.
Okay.
You had to walk me there.
I did.
I know.
I led you to the water.
You were just too dumb to fucking sip.
Can, can soap kill HIV?
I don't know.
No, let me watch this.
No, no, no, no.
I'll do it.
Okay, go.
No.
No, what I'm saying is this, let's just say you put HIV in like a Petri dish, right?
Like we get it.
We have it concentrated right here and you put a little Meyer soap in there, you know,
the organic kind of smell like those Dr. Brenner's ones that like when you watch your body,
it's all cold and clean.
Yeah.
It's like icy hot.
Yeah.
But if you put that in there, it doesn't, nothing happens.
It doesn't like fight it.
There's no fight.
I would, I'm going to go a little bit of a, a little bit of a stretch here.
I'm going to go in a little bit of a stretch here because people know how, how scientifically,
I guess inept we are.
Yeah.
But I'm going to confidently say that ain't going to do it.
No.
I don't think so.
I mean, I know that like if you're transmitting, I mean, I know that you got, why don't you,
you can't just drink a bunch of soap and you fixed your body.
I think I believe if I'm, if I'm not mistaken, I knew someone that worked at a club for years
and got pricked with a needle and in a club.
They were like checking bags and stuff like that, or they were going in someone's bag
to grab something, got pricked with a needle.
Just had a needle.
It was a performer that clearly had a needle on them.
Okay.
This, I don't know why you're making it seem like this is out of the blue.
Who the fuck carries needles into clubs?
People that are addicts, showy.
That's what I was getting at.
I was saying like a syringe.
And there's a, there's, to my understanding, there's a cocktail, they call it, of pills
that you could take every day for like three months.
That'll completely wipe it in early detection.
What?
Really?
Early detection.
My understanding.
I don't want to speak, you know, but yeah.
So what did that have to do with soap?
I don't know if soap is in those cocktails.
I think like, I don't think soap can do it.
I'm not saying that it could cure anything.
Can I ask you a serious question?
But like, it prevents a lot.
And then also think about this, right?
Airborne illnesses, like the flu.
Right?
And staying in the air, air particles, whatever.
Why haven't we?
This is so stupid.
Why haven't we made like an air soap?
You know what I'm saying?
I think we have.
You ever see those movies where people step into chambers and it goes, yeah, but like,
why isn't it like excess, like, I'd say I was sick.
Because big soap doesn't want everyone to be clean.
I know.
But I'm saying, then big medicine doesn't make their money, Joey.
Yeah.
Big pharma.
Big, well, I said big medicine.
You're going after big pharma.
That's the same thing.
Yeah.
But I don't want to be using their actual name, their government, you know what I'm saying?
It's like Voldemort.
Yeah.
They don't want to say their full name.
They who shall not be named.
Yeah.
But like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, if I had the flu, like people would just say, oh, just leave your windows open.
And I'll like, clear it out.
But like, what if I had a spray that I could just get all the way out of there?
Yeah.
If you had like, air soap.
You know what I mean?
If there was just something you can just like, and it's just, you're good.
Wait, why did you shoot into your neck?
I was thinking, did you see Glass Onion?
Yes.
They do that in that movie.
Do you remember at the beginning?
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
I don't, I'm sure there's something out there, but again, big medicine, big soap, they don't
want us to know about it.
I know.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
And I really want you to be honest with me.
I'm okay.
Do you think like, when, when, if you have a tickle in your throat, a little tickle.
I hate that.
I hate it because then I'm like, I'm dead in a week.
Oh, no, I just, because I have to cough.
Oh yeah.
You have a tickle in your throat.
Yeah.
Do you believe that like drinking like carbonated beverages does anything good for it?
I don't know, probably.
Because in my head, it hurts when I swallow it, I convince myself that if I have a tickle
in my throat, if I just drink like a seltzer, like something with a, just like a bite, something
sharp bite.
Yeah.
It's going to kill it.
Yeah.
Cause it'll like, cause it'll just fuck it up.
It'll scratch it for me.
Well, not just scratch it, but like, it'll like the bubbles will lift it and then get
it and get it down and then it's gone.
Well, what do you think a tickle is that you could lift it?
I don't know.
It's just a feeling.
But in my head.
I can't lift a feeling.
In my head, like if I have a tickle in my throat, I'm like, yo, I'm just going to drink
seltzer and I'll be good.
I understand that because I'm like, the bubbles will scratch it for me.
Not just scratch it, but like they'll fucking kill whatever is back there because that's
a powerful drink.
I don't think there's anything to kill.
Well, I think that's like trying to kill a fish.
If it's a tickle, if it's like an early onset of a tickle, Joey, if it's an early onset
of like a cold or something.
Oh.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
I said that soap might be able to like kill a disease if it's on a table, not if it's
in a body.
If it's on a table, though, put some soap on it.
You think seltzer is going to prevent a cold?
I'm not saying I'm smart here.
I'm just saying I'm asking if you've ever thought that I, I don't think about it like
because seltzer is like, you know, like, like the, like the Roman soldier of drinks, like
it gets in there and it just fucking clears the way.
Yeah.
And then I'm wondering if you ever thought that because I've convinced myself that like
if I'm not feeling well, just a bottle of ginger ale will just do the trick.
Well, my mom used to say that like when my, when my tummy was bubbly.
When you got a little tummy up your setty.
Yeah.
What'd you do that?
I would drink a seltzer and then, I mean, I would drink a ginger ale.
Well, like, and then I just felt the same.
Well, no, like, Schweppes and fucking Canada dry.
It's high fructose corn syrup.
But ginger as, as a, as a root does have medicinal properties for like upset stomachs.
You want to hear something really interesting?
Sure.
Two things actually.
One didn't know what an avocado was until I was like 16.
Swear to God I am in the same boat.
Also, ginger, like real ginger.
Yeah.
24.
It's old Joey.
That's, that's 2016.
Dude, ginger was not around.
My family never had ginger in the house.
Well, because you only cooked turmeric.
You only three years ago.
Oh my God.
Like these powders and things that are just like.
You only cooked with salt.
Have you ever seen real turmeric?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Same with ginger.
I love both of them.
Bro.
Very spicy.
Yeah.
Spicy meatball.
Yeah.
Well, it's because in your house, God bless your mother, but you were pretty hell bent
on only cooking with salt and pepper.
There was no spice.
Don't even fucking start this and talk shit about my amazing cook mother.
Your mom is legitimately, and I say this with much praise, one of the best cooks I've
met in my entire life.
She is really good.
Um, but take it easy.
All right.
Yeah.
Um, no, I, I didn't, bro, avocados came out of nowhere, absolutely out of nowhere.
It was like 2010 and people were like avocados and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where have
these been forever later, way later.
Also kale.
Not a thing.
Bro.
If someone told me kale was invented in 2017, I'd be like, yeah, absolutely.
It's like, we just, we found it.
One day someone just said kale chips and I've never not heard of kale since.
It's insane.
And I don't know where it came from.
It's, it's big, big, big salad.
Big leaf.
Big leaf.
That's what a big leafy green, big leafy green is at it.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, that's wearing a dildo on his head.
There's all kinds of stuff going on.
I can't say dildo.
Now we're demonetized.
You thought that was going to demonetize us?
Oh, Keith's got a purple one.
Keith's got a dildo on his head now.
I don't know what's happening outside on these walls, but this is what goes on.
I gotta say, I'm actually pretty proud of Keith for wearing that because I did not anticipate
a fucking phallic phallic shape to be anywhere near his mouth.
It's not a phallic shape.
It's a straight up rubber dick on his head.
Silicon, but who's counting?
Silicon.
Silicon.
But he said silly.
Yeah.
Silicon.
Dude, I swear to God, avocados.
Dude, speaking of silicone, sorry.
Go ahead.
No, no, no.
The floor is yours.
Chief.
It's not even a good story.
Yeah, go.
No, no, no.
Go.
Your turn.
I was going to say.
I hate that I'm going to say that.
No, no, no.
Now you need to complete the story so the world can see what you interrupted me for.
The silicone.
It reminded me of my dad filled in like the cracks of our window in the bathroom and silicone.
And one day I sat there and I just picked all of it out and he was mad at me and that's
the whole story.
Awesome.
We are all better human beings for having listened to that stupid fucking story.
Way to go.
Go ahead.
Tell me.
Okay.
It was avocado came out of nowhere.
Kale came out of nowhere.
Yes.
Everything being buffalo chicken flavor came out of nowhere.
Not complaining about it, but definitely came out of nowhere.
Buffalo chicken pizza.
Big blow up.
Big old blow up.
Big blow up.
Big blow up.
Big blow up.
They came out of nowhere.
Big old bread ball.
Don't get big old bread ball.
What else came out of nowhere back then?
There was so much stuff like that I feel like I wasn't maybe I should open the door and
be like, Hey guys.
No, it's cool.
Hey, no.
We're recording anything.
Real professional podcast.
You fucking idiot.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
There was other shit that kind of came out of nowhere, but anyway, this all started because
I grabbed my dog's shit.
Yeah.
Well, it's all right.
I actually something happened to me that I think you would really appreciate.
You know me, Joey.
You know me.
I show a part of the way I show love.
My love language is I make fun of people.
Our friend group, we've been doing that our whole lives.
We literally have done it for 20 years now and I'm a big proponent of like, if you could
dish it out, you better be able to take it.
Okay.
And you've told me before I've had some, some clap backs that had a little too close to
home.
Oh yeah.
A little.
You're pretty relentless.
I would say.
Listen, don't poke the king if you're not ready for the claws.
You know what I'm saying?
So.
Not an expensive ranking.
Not one.
That's not one.
Don't poke the bear.
I'm sorry.
Don't poke the bear.
Don't come for the king.
If you come for the king, you don't come for the king.
Okay.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yes.
So I was joking around with Miles yesterday.
Yeah.
So Miles, for those of you guys that don't know, my stepson, such a kind young man, but I've
always told him like, bro, listen, if you're going to, like, if you're going to joke with
people, make sure they could take it and if they're getting to you, like clap right back
at them.
You know what I mean?
Be, be a little relentless if you need to be relentless, you know, telling him to do
this.
I'm telling him, I'm telling him in a responsible setting because he's also the sweetest fucking
kid on the planet.
He literally one day he caught, there was a fly with a damaged wing that I think I actually
killed and he, he fed it and nurtured it and then it died and he was in tears.
He fed a fly.
Yeah.
That's how sweet this fucking kid is.
What do you feed flies?
Canola.
Oh, it was a fruit fly.
No, it was a fly, a house fly.
It flies you to anything.
Literally.
That's true.
Shit.
Okay.
So yesterday we're going back and forth with each other and he goes, you look like diarrhea
and I'm like, I look like diarrhea.
Damn dude, that's racist.
Well, you know what actually, okay, that's not even thinking about it like that.
You look like diarrhea.
Yeah.
And then I'm like, all right, well you look like, you know, a fart and he goes, this is
his response.
He goes, you look like a fart that just came out of someone's butt and is in the wind.
I was like, oh, that kind of hurt.
And then, you know, this is the best part.
So then I'm like, all right, I joke with him and we were going to see the Mario, Super
Mario Brothers movie and I go, you know, you look like, you look like someone that's not
going to the movies today.
And he goes, bro, like this, I watch his face go like this.
He goes, you know what you look like?
Oh, shit.
I didn't, you know, like pussy.
Like face up.
I go, you know, you look like, you look like someone that's not going to the movies today.
And he goes, you know what you look like?
You look like someone that's not going to be a stepdad anymore.
I'm like, oh, my mouth dropped.
He said that?
Yeah, bro.
My mouth dropped.
Becca's mouth dropped.
I'm laughing.
And I went up to him and I just gave him the biggest, fattest, wettest, dap.
Wetest.
I was washing the dishes.
I was like, bro, fucking good on you, dude.
What does that mean?
Is it going to kill you?
I don't know, but whatever it was, like, that's what I'm talking about.
And that was such a proud, like such a weird thing to be proud of.
Oh, you took it too far.
But in that moment, I was like, yes, like I've done something to this kid's life.
That's incredible.
So he fucking, like, bang, like, you know, like, like fucking like hitman style, fucking
bullet in the back of the head.
I really wish I went one more round.
Yeah.
Well, no, I said to Becca, like, uh, like after where we were dying, laughing about it,
I was like, I couldn't went back.
And she's like, I know.
She's like, I'm going to go have sex with your mom.
You know who you look like?
I'm not going to.
I can't.
He might see this one day.
But bro, I was so proud of that moment because that's so I saw me and like it's moment.
It's so stupid.
But like it's moments like that, like as a stepfather, like all you want to do is have
it like an impact, a positive impact on this child's life.
In that moment, him absolutely tearing me to shred in front of my wife, also his mom,
and my fucking two daughters, the kid won.
And I could, I could, I went, we went to the movies.
I got him anything he fucking wanted to get a fucking slushie.
I was like, no, no, no, slushies.
It's just dog shit.
We got a bunch of crunch.
We got a fat old popcorn in the collectors tin bunch of crunch.
It's.
His choice, man.
I said, like, bro, go pick whatever you want cookie dough, though.
He picked it.
I'm saying, like, what would you get though?
What do you usually get when you go to the movies?
Nerds, gummy clusters.
They're back.
You don't like the big frozen, the fro, you wanna bring fro,
you wanna bring ice cream into the movies, Joey?
I don't know, it's like the slushies that they have.
No, because they're mostly air.
I want a slush puppy.
Yeah, those are more wet.
Yeah.
That's what I,
That's what I want.
Your hammers is bouncing.
Yeah.
That's what I want, Joey.
Damn.
Well, by the way, hypothetically,
if I were to have found a slush puppy machine on eBay,
would we be able to get it in here in the studio?
Hold on.
Yeah.
Okay.
About like, what is required?
What, Dan, that would be so sick.
Yeah.
If we had a slush puppy machine.
I just wanna know, like, now that I am the chief
fund officer of Santa Guido Studios,
am I allowed to make like stupid purchases
the way that you do?
What do I do?
A clock out there that just says irrelevant
or whatever it says?
What does it say?
It doesn't relevant.
Irrelevant, yeah.
There you go.
No.
An espresso machine that has been used probably zero times.
No, Greg uses that all the time.
It is, it sounds like a car.
It literally is that loud.
Okay.
It's so loud.
Okay.
Multiple phallic dildo shaped toys.
All of these things were free, by the way,
that you're naming.
An espresso machine?
That was like his mom's or something.
How does his mom get us a slush puppy machine, Doug?
No, she had one.
She was like, gonna get rid of it.
He's like, I'll just take it and put it in the studio.
Oh, damn, all right.
Well, yeah.
And then the clock I gave to him as a gift.
Yeah, and then he hated it because it sucks.
Well, no, it broke.
And then he got it fixed.
And then he realized it sucks.
And then he's like, oh, I'm just gonna bring it to this.
I'm gonna just bring it to the studio.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, there you go.
I had to share that with you
because that's one of my favorite stories.
That is a really good one.
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The end of there.
The next thing I have written on here is peanut butter.
Peanut butter, yeah.
So I had a question for you because the TSA,
who are the cops of the sky.
Well, are they?
They're the cops in the airport.
What does TSA stand for?
Travel.
Travel security agency.
Safety.
Is it safety?
Are they security?
Travel security agency.
What does TSA say?
Did I just say the exact same thing again?
Transit?
It's gotta be transit.
Transit.
Transit?
Not transit.
Travel?
No.
Trans is close.
Transcontinental?
No.
Trans.
Gender?
No.
Transportation.
Transportation, safety.
No.
Security.
Yay.
Administration.
Boom.
Bam.
Transportation, security, administration.
Didn't know that.
Recently ruled that, according to them,
peanut butter is a liquid.
And before you say anything,
I want to know where you stand.
I know that's what you were gonna say,
but I wanted to make sure that you didn't interrupt me
from introducing this.
You feel good?
So, Joe, do you believe that peanut butter is a liquid?
It's not a liquid.
It's too thick.
It's a shred.
How is it not a liquid?
Because it doesn't run.
Yes, it does.
It runs.
You ever seen hot peanut butter?
Yeah, if you heat it up.
Well, there you go, Joey.
Liquid.
No.
Liquid.
Is lava a liquid?
It runs.
Yeah, so does peanut butter.
How did you just,
oh, that doesn't even make sense what you just said.
It absolutely does.
Lava isn't peanut butter.
Lava is not peanut butter.
You could take a jar of peanut butter and do this.
How is that a liquid?
Yeah, it's not gonna move,
but if you let it sit there, it will.
It'll poop out.
It's a viscous.
It's a thick boy.
Yeah.
Poor girl.
Or however, peanut butter, all of our brothers and sisters
of the earth.
Every single way that the peanut butter
identifies itself.
If you let peanut butter just do its thing,
it's gonna run.
It's not gonna run.
It's just a thick liquid, a thick liquid.
It ain't.
It is though.
But like, if it's thick enough.
So what's, give me a classic liquid.
Water.
Okay.
What's the difference between water and peanut butter
outside of the thickness?
Every possible property are different.
Maybe the chemical compositions are a little bit different,
but that doesn't mean that I can't classify it as a liquid.
It can.
I just did it.
I don't think so.
What's next?
Jelly's a liquid?
Yes.
Is Jell-O a liquid?
Yes.
It's just a cold liquid that's gotten hard.
Leave Jell-O at room temperature.
What happens?
It becomes water.
It doesn't.
Yeah.
That's why you have to refrigerate it.
When was the last time you made Jell-O?
St. Patrick's Day for me.
You made Jell-O?
It's orange, baby.
Oh, you gotta make green.
What are you doing?
Orange is the best flavored Jell-O.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
That's weird.
That's probably the only thing where orange is like superior.
Ice pop.
Orange, ice pop.
No.
If you have like those, the pushy,
flavor ice.
Flavor ice, orange.
No.
Or pink.
Or light blue.
It's blue and pink.
Orange is up there, too.
If you have those ones that look like a double-sided dildo
that you break in the middle.
Those are edible.
I thought those were like wax.
You like those?
Yeah, because guess what?
Sugar.
Yeah.
I didn't know.
Not at all.
I didn't know.
They're too hard to open, too.
I just, I don't like that the little,
like one side gets like the like nipple tip
and you need to like, you know,
like it's like birthing an ice pop
through this little fucking orifice.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not as stretchy as say, a Jina.
You're right, exactly.
Jinas are super stretchy.
I don't know if I can support your stance on peanut butter
not being a liquid, because it is a liquid.
It is the liquefied peanuts.
Also, how many people are traveling with peanut butter
that this is like an issue?
Yeah, people are weird for peanut butter.
They love peanut butter.
Peanut butter is one of those things
that like people make it their whole personality.
It's a culty condiment.
It is a culty condiment.
It absolutely is.
Is it a condiment or just like a spread?
I think it's a little bit of both.
I agree.
I think condiments and spreads could be interchangeable.
Yes.
There's a fluidity between.
A spectrum.
A spectrum that we need to respect.
That we, that yes, that we.
I don't have a problem with it.
Me neither.
You sure about that?
Yes, I'm very sure.
Because you're sitting here saying
that peanut butter can't identify as a liquid.
I actually, no, actually I am saying that.
You are saying that.
I am saying that.
You are saying that and it's a.
But I will say that it begins and ends with peanut butter
and it doesn't bleed out.
Jelly is a liquid.
Jelly?
Jelly.
It's just a liquid that's got a little lumpies.
Got a lumpies?
Lumpy.
Peanut butter.
Peanut butter is way thicker than a jelly.
You're not wrong.
It's thicker.
But you can get some runny as shit peanut butter
because guess what's in peanut butter?
Oil.
Yeah.
And oil is a liquid, right?
Yes.
There you go.
But it's mixed in.
Yeah, it's mixed in and it makes it part of it.
They like, everyone's like in the party together
which makes peanut butter liquid.
Why'd you say peanut butter or peanut butter?
Butter.
Peanut butter.
No, I don't.
Listen, I know there's some scientific answer out there.
Maybe some like, maybe like the organic ones
because you ever open like an organic one?
Like teddies and it has it all floating at the top.
Yeah, and you're like, this is soaking white peanut butter.
Yeah, I gotta admit, I wasn't a big chunky guy
and then I had like teddies all natural
and I became a chunky boy.
Really?
In multiple ways I became a chunky boy
but like for that peanut butter.
I don't, like I'm not crazy about chunky pain.
Big PB has a hold.
It's being basically monopolized by skippies and jiff.
Well, I usually, I mean.
You go, you can tell me what you do.
I buy like.
Wait, just before you say anything.
Don't tell me you buy the two in one.
It's peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.
What am I, white trash?
Okay, I just wanted to make sure Dylan does that.
Does he really?
Confirm Dylan's white trash.
I don't know if he does that.
I remember he defended it once.
I don't know if he's doing that,
making up stuff and misremembering,
but none of the like.
He's just dropped Dylan.
Just sorry.
No, no, no.
I buy like, I don't buy the skippies or whatever.
I buy like just a version that just has
literally just peanuts and oil.
Yeah, you don't buy like, you know,
it's like fucking sugar and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah.
It's literally just peanuts and oil.
Yeah, smart.
That's what you should do.
Absolutely.
But sometimes you open those and it's like,
so much oil.
I have to say.
You ever do almond butter?
No.
Bro.
Impossible to, it's quicksand.
Is it really?
Dude, literally almond butter is quicksand.
Is it like Ublek when people mix together
like fucking corn starch and water
and like you hold it here and it's a ball
and then you let go and it just fucking melts?
I used to love that.
I had it too.
No, it's like just fucking, it's,
it should be less, like that is a solid basically.
Really?
Yeah, I don't, I'm not crazy about it.
I didn't know that.
Or maybe the one that I got, I don't know.
Yeah, I can't do it.
I can't do like the alternatives like.
You ever have Ezekiel bread?
I'm not eating bread from the Bible.
So fucking no.
Dude, Ezekiel bread is like,
what I imagine a mummy tastes like.
Bro, my mom once she was like,
I'm gonna bring you this really delicious sprouted bread.
And I was like, mom, I'm going to secede from the family.
Yeah.
Don't you fucking ever give me any disgusting bread
that basically is like chewing sand.
Dude, I took, yeah, that's what happened.
It's like, I took the bread out of the packaging.
Shit everywhere.
Yeah, I can't do that.
I can't do that.
Seeds and bees and fucking, I'm like, dust.
What is this shit?
I'm gonna, it's bread is bread.
It's not good for you because it's bread.
But there's, there's, there's a tier to breads.
Okay. Yeah.
Sourdough's up there.
Hell yeah.
Italian, seeded Italian.
Like a fat, hard, crunchy loaf that you break open
and it's just like warm and wet.
Yeah. Yeah.
I would rather not seeds, but I'm with you.
See, okay, well, fine.
White bread.
Classic.
I haven't had white bread in a while.
I love white bread.
Like wonder bread.
No, but like wonder bread has
high fructose corn syrup in it.
So you don't want to, you don't want to mess with it.
I know, but that's a good bread.
Yeah, but it's because you're drinking
high fructose corn syrup.
I took, I've got that.
You don't want that.
You want like, you want like good white bread.
What's good white bread?
Country style white bread that you can get
from like a decent farmers market or something.
White bread that has no problem with whole wheat bread.
Well, we want white bread that's going to be just like,
it accepts all other types of bread.
If you put it in the pantry and...
It doesn't think it's better than anyone else.
It's not on a higher shelf.
They all share the same shelf.
Exactly.
All bread is welcome.
Right.
It doesn't collapse under the pressure
of other breads being held up.
There is, there is some breads though that will say,
that will, that think they are the superior bread.
Like Texas toast.
Oh God, that's good bread though.
It's good bread.
It's good bread.
I haven't had Texas toast in a while.
Texas toast grilled cheese
where you're basically biting into a whole loaf.
Yeah, you're eating the cake.
I can fucking find Texas toast bro.
It's like, fucking a fat fucker like this.
Yeah, baby.
Oh God, didn't you put like a bunch of cheese on it?
Maybe some ham.
I had, I had, I had.
You put ham in your grilled cheese.
No, because no.
I've had Texas toast stuffed French toast.
Holy shit.
Are you ready for what it was stuffed with?
Tell me.
Cream cheese.
What?
Watch this.
Nutella.
One more time.
Frosted flakes.
Frankie.
That's why I look like this.
How do you say no to that?
That sounds ridiculous.
Where did you get that?
Were you at a birthday party or something?
You're like a clown show?
Were you at the fucking Chuck E. Cheese?
Where did you get this thing?
Dairy queen?
Like.
I was actually at a hotel in Los Angeles when I got it.
You ate that in a hotel.
They had like a breakfast restaurant.
A breakfast.
You were in Vegas.
Yeah.
No, no, no, LA, LA.
Oh, in LA.
I thought you were in Vegas.
Bro, if I was in Vegas, you best believe I'm crushing
some French toast.
That's the exact cure you need after drinking from 10 a.m.
to 4 p.m.
I went to the buffet once when I was in Vegas.
The amount of eggs I ate was alarming.
What are buffet eggs?
Because they're not eggs.
I don't know.
They are not.
I'll tell you this.
I ate a whole fucking, like a full square foot of them.
I kid you not.
For some reason they were giving them away
by the fucking square foot.
Yeah.
There's a fucking cubic foot of eggs.
And I'm like, whoa.
It's like, Jesus, it's like fucking picking out carpets.
They're good, but bad at the same time.
You know what I'm saying?
Also, here, I'm going to ask you a real question.
You go to a nice hotel.
Yeah.
They have a continental breakfast.
Doesn't the cereal taste better from there?
Like in those little packets?
Oh, like in the little boxes?
Not just the little boxes, but like in the little like
plastic ones that have the paper on top?
Doesn't it just taste better in there?
It's not that.
It's the fucking cold milk.
I love cold milk.
Bro, cold whole milk.
You can't replace it.
Don't, don't, don't when you're fucking my horse go,
I'm really just, just as good, if not better.
It's not, you know it.
The only thing that sucks about almond milk,
and maybe this does happen, but I don't know.
Is almond milk?
No, no, no, it's good.
But like regular milk, when it's so cold,
and then you pour it in, sometimes you get a little ice flakes.
That's just called frozen milk.
I know, but sometimes the flakes come out.
I'm like, oh, it's really cold today.
Like I fucking love it, bro.
Like sometimes I would have like Cheerios or something.
Honey Nut.
And then I'm pouring the, Honey Nut Cheerios is a good cereal.
I mean, it fucking gave me started.
It is good, but like what are you trying to do?
Not have a heart attack?
Bro, I get your cholesterol.
Yes it is.
The regular ones, that tastes like you're eating the box.
Honey Nut Cheerios is good for cholesterol.
I just bought it the other day because I was told my LDLs
are high.
You think you're going to change your life with Honey Nut?
I bought Cheerio boxes at Cheerios.
Three boxes.
You're going to be the spokesman.
You're going to be in the B costume going like,
I saved my life.
I bought three boxes of Cheerios.
I bought the berry ones, the apple cinnamon.
Whoa.
No, don't buy that.
Get the apple jacks.
Apple jacks is not going to help me live.
None of them are going to, Frank.
None of them are going to.
Just oatmeal, baby.
I can't do oats.
Just do it.
Literally, Becca made a thing of oats the other day
and I stared at it and I started to gag.
Dietary fiber.
Dietate.
Well, you could replace it with other stuff
like apples or high in dietary fiber.
I've been eating apples a lot.
Dates.
I love dates.
Cheerios seeds.
I don't care for those.
I just put them in like a smoothie.
I don't even know they're there.
Watch this.
I still hate them.
Watch this.
Don't care for them.
But I love cold milk.
Cold milk is good.
My dad told me a story.
I don't care.
My dad told me a story that when he was in high school
and they had football camp, you would have camp or whatever.
And then for a water break, you would go over
and he's like, they had a big thing of water.
But they also had a huge steel thing of ice cold milk.
Yeah, but no.
You know what I'm saying?
At the moment when he told me, I was like,
you're literally disgusting.
You know how much of a try hard you need to be to be like,
I'm not going to drink water in practice, coach.
Give me a fucking milk.
They were giving out milk like fucking crazy.
Stung bones.
Remember when they sold us that?
Big milk was telling us like, it's like, yo, you have this.
You're going to be like good for life.
Yeah.
You're not going to have idea.
Big milk mustache.
Big milk mustache was a big.
I remember Stone Cold had a big milk mustache.
I miss milk.
Just come back.
You're one of those freaks that buys the boxed fucking almond
milk, which I can't I can't support.
Yeah.
But I don't really even have milk like that.
Like I just use it for smoothies.
That's it.
I don't either.
We have it in the house a lot because, you know,
the kids take bottles and like eat cereal and stuff like that.
But I can't like.
Just eat milk.
Yeah.
I know I can drink.
I can definitely crush milk.
Dude, you know, I used to come back from the park when we were
younger and I would just go over and grab a gallon of milk
and just start chugging it out of the gallon.
Oh, were you one of those idiots that opened the fridge
and grabbed the milk gallon or like the carton of fucking
orange juice and drank out of it?
Yep.
That's why you are the way you are.
I used to do that all the time.
My mom would be livid.
You watched way too many like mighty ducks and fucking
movies in the 90s because that's all that they did.
They'd get home and they'd just fucking swing it open,
just grab milk and chug it.
Yeah.
Hate that.
Can't do it.
One time my mom went to go grab it out of my hands
because I was chugging the milk.
She's like, what do you?
And then I dropped it.
Fucking milk everywhere.
Her fault.
Yeah, no, I blame her.
You gaslit her.
I did.
I said, look what you've done.
Look what you've done.
You and our dumb ass dog Charlie.
He didn't exist.
Oh, that's right at the time.
But like you were saying like I'm going to blame someone else
for me fucking up and, you know, 15 years or something, mom.
Yeah.
And that's kind of what happened.
Peanut butter, liquid.
It's a spread.
Yes, it is a spread, but liquids can be spread.
It's a gray area.
So is butter a liquid?
No.
Butter is just a, it's a hard.
It can be, though.
It's just a harder liquid.
Yeah.
OK.
Solved.
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what are you gonna end with a bang?
With a bang, a big, to end with a ball with the ball
to the bang, the bang, diggy, diggy, diggy,
said the boogie, said up, drop the boogie,
or something.
Is that what it is?
Those are the lyrics.
That's one of them.
Kid Rock, our boy.
Back in the news.
Your boy actually.
Your boy.
No, you and him, you said like,
if I'm ever gonna go to Detroit,
I know exactly why.
And it's to be a Kid Rock guy.
Kid Rock back in the news.
Guy is super pissed.
He's upset.
Bud Light came out.
And Bud Light's like Jesus Christ to these people.
To this people too.
I'm a good Bud Light fan.
You're a Miller Light guy.
I love Miller Light.
I also like Bud Light.
I have no quarrels with either.
I'm all for all beer.
I am.
Except for non-alcoholic.
Shut up.
I need it in a bottle though.
Oh, you can do a bottle.
You can do cans, the aluminum bottle cans though.
I hate, those are my least favorite.
Really?
I'm kind of about them.
Aluminum bottle?
Yeah, well.
Like at a baseball game?
I don't like it.
Well, I don't like the fact that it's $40
for a beer at a baseball game.
Well, that's a different story.
But yeah, so Kid Rock,
he recently was in the news because
Bud Light, they partnered with a trans influencer.
Trans or drag?
I don't know.
Trans.
Okay.
I didn't know.
I'm asking.
Trans.
Okay.
And pissed.
Yeah.
It's like, oh, you're fucking, what?
He's supporting.
So he went and purchased Bud Light, hysterical.
A bunch of them.
Oh, like not a little.
Four cases.
Yeah, like probably, yeah, probably 120 cans, bottles.
And then he made a video with his hat backwards
and it said MAGA on it, right?
It absolutely said MAGA.
Can we just agree on something?
I just want to agree on something.
Wherever you stand on the political spectrum
or whatever, how can you watch that video
and not go, this is the corniest thing
I have ever seen in my life?
It reminds me of those kids that we're cut off gloves.
We're cut off gloves and take videos of like,
this is me doing a double kick flip
and then on my way to fuck your mom.
It's like, no, what is this?
This is monster energy, energy here.
Listen, I am all for different forms of expression.
I think we need to acknowledge that this one just sucked.
He turns around, he's like, oh, god,
I'll message loud and clear.
By the way, from Detroit, not the South.
Right, you know.
And then he takes out a gun
and he shoots a bunch of Bud Light.
I believe it was an automatic weapon.
It was an automatic weapon.
It was an automatic weapon.
And he was just shooting it at Bud Light.
And like, he shot it up, gotta say, good shot.
I thought it was kind of cool.
I don't think, I would shoot stuff.
I don't think like, us like little like,
Libby boys and girls and however we identify
would be able to shoot that well.
He shot that pretty good.
That was a little-
Dude, I'm a good shot.
I'm a good shot too, don't get me wrong, bitch.
But I'm saying, I'm saying he like just turned around
and he was like on it.
No, I'm fucking those beers up.
Which the-
Guns are fun.
Well-
Careful, careful in controlled environment.
Careful.
Boy.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Well.
I think, can we also say this?
I'm with you here as well.
Wherever you fall on the political spectrum, go for it.
Hats are not the best way of branding
your political-
Are you kidding?
I feel like it worked extremely well for Duffeltruck.
No, no, it did.
I'm saying, I don't think like,
no one sees someone with a hat and goes,
here comes a rational person.
They go, oh fuck.
With a hat?
Yeah, bro.
Hats just give off like,
if you saw someone walking,
I know what I'm doing.
You're wearing a hat.
I'm wearing a sports hat.
You're wearing a sports hat.
But like, if my hat said like, I love Jesus,
you're thinking like, this guy sucks.
Not because I love Jesus,
because I love him enough to wear a hat.
Oh, so you think hats,
if it's not a brand or like a sports team,
like if you're trying to send a message via hat-
Send a message via hat?
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Awful.
Or like bumper sticker, what are we doing?
Bumper stickers have never made me go,
yeah, they made me go, fuck this person.
Yeah.
And I've judged that car and the individual driving it.
Well, that's because like,
fucking bumper stickers are either like,
a wild political take,
or it's like, I just left fucking your mom or something.
It's like, or they're trying to be like,
super funny and like cute.
You know what it'll mean?
It'll be like, you know, like my children are fur babies.
And it's like, I want to strangle you so fucking hard.
Yeah, it's, it's just annoying.
I just, I don't think that-
Or the one that says like baby on board,
but it says like bitch on board.
My wife's a bitch on board or something like that.
You know what I got on?
What?
People, that's-
Oh my God.
I saw one recently.
Take two, your turn.
Yes.
You know, we've talked to us before,
but you know how people have like their whole family
and like little stick figures?
Yeah, I don't mind those, but okay.
You don't.
I don't hate them.
You don't have it.
I don't.
Okay.
But I don't hate them.
Why don't you hate them?
Because I just don't.
But why?
Because I have no feeling or desire or care about them
because I am a dad.
But I'm forced to know how many people are in this family.
Yeah.
So you know when you drive into them recklessly,
how many people you're potentially killing.
Fair.
But I saw one.
When you use your big old fucking Range Rover.
And you're driving like this.
Here comes me.
I'm Joe on my way to talk to fucking people about podcasts.
Fuck off.
But I saw one and it was just a T-Rex and then feet.
Kill them.
That's when you use those.
Listen.
It's like all my family was eating by a T-Rex.
Fuck you.
You know what you do?
You know what you do?
You pull up next to them.
Confirm that it's only the driver in the car.
Fall back.
And then kill them.
Run them off the road.
Run them off the road.
Make sure.
Because yeah, I've seen one that's like,
you know it's like Luke Skywalker
and then like fucking like Leia.
Which again, brother, sister, weird.
Come on.
And then it's like three Ewoks.
And it's like, this has gotten two out of hand.
Also they're not even, they don't even end up together.
Spoiler alert.
Because they're brother and sister.
I know, but they kiss.
Very weird.
And they knew, didn't they?
No, not at the time, no.
Ew.
She kissed him to make Han jealous.
I know, but like there's no addressing that in the movie.
I was like, I'm fucking, I can get whoever I want.
You know, don't worry about me.
You know, he's got a hog.
You know, Harrison Ford, guys carrying around a shaft.
And he also is a good looking old man.
He is, he's got that one earring thing going on.
Does he?
He's got earrings.
I hope that one day I can do that.
He doesn't give a fuck.
I hope that one day I can pull off
like an old man dangly earring.
I want a dangly earring.
I brought it up.
Like Barry Bonds.
Becca, well you need to do a couple things to be Barry Bonds.
But backwards, baseball jersey,
backwards baseball cap, dangly earring.
That'd be fire.
You could do it.
A backwards jersey.
No.
Regular baseball jersey.
You just said backwards jersey.
Then I misspoke.
I apologize.
I was like, Jesus, what fucking year is this?
That's Barry Bonds.
Giants jersey, backwards hat,
and just a fucking taken BP
with just a single fucking earring.
With a bat that looks like it's this long.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Damn, that's fucking cool as fuck.
I gotta say, kid rock.
Strange way of getting his message out there.
I think obviously it lands with certain people.
But hey man, do you,
Bud Light has always supported,
to my understanding, people in the LGBTQIA plus community.
So why, like what now?
Like why are you getting upset now?
I don't know.
I've seen people make videos where they're like,
oh, I'm switching to Coors.
Like Coors is like, like now we're also like,
supportive of gay stuff.
Yeah.
Coors is like, we're from Colorado.
What do you think happens there?
One of the most liberal fucking places.
I just, I guess I don't understand like what he was,
dude, there's such a thing in the market right now.
We need to make like a straight Christian book.
Yeah, which is hysterical
because Christians are like no alcohol.
They need to make, they need to make like a drink
that's like a straight beer.
Like a, what's, what's super straight?
Fucking, like you know how you-
Eagle tits.
Bald eagle tits.
And that's the name of the beer.
You know how you go to Target
and it'll be like the women's like soap area.
It'll be like milk and honey and ozamanthias
and fucking stuff like that.
And you go to the guys and it's like fucking bars
and it's like beer, whiskey, and oppression.
Yeah, that's what this smells like.
Like you need to make like-
Sawdust.
Yeah, it's like why do you want to smell like that?
This one has actual pieces of sawdust in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like buy our fucking soap in here
or rocks from actual Pompeii victims.
And it's like, bro.
Actually there's a comedian.
His name is Eric D'Alessandro
and he had like a funny video that he put on his Instagram
like talking about this where it's like
they have to trick men into washing themselves.
So it's like mountain man soap.
It's like, look, it's cool.
It's for boys.
Yeah, you go through and there's one that I remember seeing
and it just says on the bottle, it just says thick.
And I was like-
That's enough to get the guys.
That's the fucking, that's how stupid men are.
Listen, I, it's beer.
Like what's the idea?
If you're allowing people to support,
like isn't this like the idea of like going against
like the First Amendment?
They're using their voice to support someone
in a marginalized community.
Like let them fucking, why are you,
if you're getting upset about it,
I think that says a little bit more about you.
I mean, I think it's hysterical
that like people can have the time to get worked up.
It's like, what are we doing here?
Can you set up a little table?
Would you be here on it?
Wait until they courted it.
Cool little video.
Yeah.
I was like, yo, come on.
I was like, wait a sec.
All right.
Ready.
You set up the little art project and you're like,
I'm gonna shoot it.
Yeah, you know it.
I got, I got, I got.
Listen, Kid Rock, first of all, take it easy.
Okay.
Cowboy's a good song though.
Is it 1975, which one was that one?
What?
All summer long.
That's a slap.
It is a slap.
Apparently an anti-gay slap.
Yeah, but like in lap the gays right in the face
with that one.
Now that I think about it, in that song,
he never talks about like kissing bros
or like jerking off his homies, you know?
Yeah, obviously.
Well, listen to it better.
Now, now you see it in a different light.
Well, no, I don't.
We were smoking funny things.
I thought he was saying.
Smoking penises.
Penises.
He's gonna be so mad when he sees this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, dude, I love Bawitabaw.
I love three of your songs, man.
I love Bawitabaw all summer long and...
But I will say, dude, honestly, if you're watching this,
I get it, bro.
If you don't, if you think it's whatever,
you don't have to drink the beer anymore.
I think, I personally think it's stupid,
but like you don't have to, but making this video just...
It didn't do it.
It's not.
It's not cool.
It didn't do what you think it did.
Yeah, it really did.
Mr. Rock, if I may.
What do you think...
So there are gay establishments, bars, clubs.
What do you think they serve there?
Probably cock.
Well, they're slaying it and serving it.
They're serving and serving, you know?
Bud Light, man.
But like, wait until he finds out.
What does he think?
Like there's a guy just dragging his dick
across the top of all the Bud Lights
on the fucking assembly line?
I'm sure his opinion is, you know,
they're supporting someone who is trying
to basically brainwash today's youth and fucking...
I'm sure that's what the typical argument is,
where I don't think so.
I absolutely do not.
One thing I do wanna say,
which I think this could be the most important thing
that we kind of get from this video,
is that like on a very serious note,
he, like, Kid Rock looks like an old dog.
He does.
Doesn't he look like a dog?
The ones with the flappy ears.
He does.
Oh my, like droopy.
But it looks like he hides them in his hat.
Like a bloodhound.
He does.
But if he took his hat off,
I think that he would just have these long dog ears.
Maybe that's why.
Maybe he is secretly a dog.
Maybe ball with the ball was like,
it's a song for dogs and he wrote it as a dog.
And if you like play it backwards.
No, if you play it to like a dog, they're like,
they know what's going on.
Ball with the ball, you know.
Yeah, it's like dog talk.
Yeah, it's exactly what it is.
Dog talk.
Up drop the boogie.
Listen, if people are gonna sit there
and criticize Bud Light for being gay,
I'll drink Bud Light.
I'll suck it down.
I don't care, baby.
I'm all about it.
What's the straightest beer now?
If we don't wanna drink gay.
Bud Heavy.
Oh, but they're the dudes.
Oh, Bud Heavy, I know.
Well, Bud Light and Bud, it's all Anheuser-Busch.
Yeah, it was Bud Light.
He said fuck Anheuser-Busch.
Yeah, he went after the whole crew.
The whole bush.
He went fucking hit him up style.
Tupac said like, you know.
Fuck mom, fuck Biggie.
Fuck bad boy as a record late.
Like he went after everybody.
So I guess if not in how,
so who's on the other side of Bud Light?
Coors.
Coors, are they like?
But Coors Heavy is not as, like, it's not as.
The banquet beer.
It's not.
And also Beige is like, okay.
What?
The can.
Oh.
I mean, who else is there?
Miller, but like, I'm sure Miller supports people
in the community as well.
Also, what are you gonna do 4th of July?
Bud Light makes those cool, like, American flag cans.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
You have to drink those.
And you have to.
That's really a fork in the road for him.
That's what he's gonna say.
He's like, I want to be American.
I want to be American, but I don't want to be gay.
I hope, I hope that for this 4th of July
Anheuser-Busch leans into it.
And instead of the American flag,
they do the fucking Pride flag.
I'm sure they will.
They do exclusive cans that are the trans flag,
the bi flag, kid rock.
He's gonna turn that gun on himself.
What's he gonna do?
He's gonna bar with the bar,
the bang, the bang himself in the fucking temple.
Yeah.
That's what's gonna happen.
Dude, I can't even imagine.
Imagine all the beer.
All beers are like-
We support-
We're just gonna gay it.
So what are racist fucking homophobic pieces of shit
gonna drink now?
Wait till they find out about vodka.
Is that gay?
I don't know, but apparently beer is.
It feels it.
Yeah, I don't know.
Throw them a Schmitz gay from SNL.
Just play that up and just show them that episode.
And someone's like, yeah.
And then they're like, wait a sec.
Yeah, I don't know.
God bless, though, you know.
What's this, what would they believe?
What would kid rock called the straightest,
like alcoholic drink?
Like not like beer, like spirit.
Whisky.
Whisky.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause whiskey is what you drink-
Whisky came from the hands of the men
that beat the gays and stuff.
Fucking chill, man.
Whisky is one of those drinks
that you sit on a nice comfy couch with your boy.
And you drink it neat in front of a fireplace.
And it's all cold outside.
I don't know, man.
That's a little homoerotic when you ask.
And there's a draft coming in
and it makes us a little chilly.
And we have to get under a blanket.
When you have to look at your boy in the eyes
and say, give it to me dirty.
Give it to me neat.
Clean it off.
I'd like some rocks.
I want to polish that bottle.
Let's polish that bottle off.
Let's polish that bottle off.
Yeah.
Like, all right, okay.
There you go.
There you go.
Kid rock, Mr. Rock.
Yeah.
Don't kill us.
This is a Gabe Cup podcast, by the way.
Yeah, we're fucking, we're out.
So if you're watching right now, kid rock, you're gay.
Yeah.
Gotcha, bitch.
Dude, you're so gay.
Gotcha, bitch.
You're so gay.
You should rock.
Got you.
You didn't realize you were just ingesting
a bunch of gay content.
Hey, kid rock, kid rock.
What the?
I just kissed you, bro.
What's up, bro?
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do about it?
What?
No, he's not ready for it.
You're gonna take your shirt off.
But I'm a little embarrassed with my body.
All right, well, there you go.
We've done it.
The whole episode was just to get kid rock to kiss Frank.
And kiss Frank.
Guess what?
Not sponsored by any beer.
Yeah, not yet.
We want to support the beer.
We want to support the beer.
That's the only thing that made me upset about the whole
collaboration was that I didn't get the collaboration.
Oh, I've gotten collaborated.
I've collaborated with Bud Light.
They're friends of mine.
What gives?
They're friends of mine.
Bullshit.
Well, that's all.
Frank, where can I find you?
You can find me going to town on some Bud Light, I guess.
OK.
Just polishing it off.
Polishing it off.
Just spit shining.
Me and my friend playing footsie.
Yeah, it's like me and my boy in the back of a truck
looking at the stars.
We're gonna fuck.
That's Kid Rock's next song.
I'm telling you right now.
Probably not.
FAlvors8085 on Twitter.
The Frank Alvors in all their forms of social media.
Keep your eyes peeled.
We got some good stuff coming out on Patreon.
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And that is all.
See you guys next time.