The Basement Yard - #419 - I Got Into A Car Accident
Episode Date: October 9, 2023Joe tells his recent car problem stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
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Welcome back to the
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Welcome back to the b I was about to say welcome back to Santa
Gala Studios.
I mean technically they are back at Santa Gala Studios
but it's a different, it's a different room in there.
Right.
Welcome back to the basement yard.
It is the basement yard.
You got my shirt.
Thank you, bitch.
Anch it.
Fuck you, guy.
Oh, you're really just leaning into being a giant fan this week, huh? You've given you what the Arizona Cardinal?
You can't, you can't. No, because you like Michael Douglas and one of those movies where he killed someone
Oh, like the game or something like that. I don't know you don't know enough movies or glasses watch it. Let's see
Hold on I still like coming off. I gotta close my head. Okay. Let me know when they're done. No, they're on now look
Okay glasses off. Yeah
What do you think?
Leave them on. All right, bitch. Yeah, you look eloquent
Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that. Thank you. I'm getting compliments today. What else tell me I look good
Please don't hair cut hair cut. I know haircut Frank people love when you get a haircut. I know. I don't know why
Most people hairs looks better when it's cut, right. I know, I don't know why. Well, hair looks better when it's cut, right?
Does it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Oh, um, yeah, Joey?
Oh, also I wanted to tell you.
Oh, I'm going over.
This is the thing I was like hiding from you.
Yeah.
I got into a car accident this morning.
Well, obviously you're okay.
Yeah, I'm okay.
I think that.
I think Fendi Bendy.
They bend your friend.
I got into it, yeah, I got into an accident with a seemingly Jewish man.
Oh, I got hit by a Jew not long ago too.
Did you?
Yeah, yeah.
Really?
Yeah, what's going on out there?
What's the same one?
His last name was Gold.
Well, got a Sue.
Oh, but he was a nice guy.
But he hit the fuck out of me.
Was he 100% his wife? was he like an orthodox Jew?
Oh, he was just a he worked in real estate.
He wasn't like oh he wasn't like like he was like.
Okay, I got hit by a acidic.
Oh on the Manhattan bridge.
You can hit on a bridge.
Yeah, I got I got railed from the back by a Jew on a bridge.
It I mean, that's what it is.
It's what happened.
Yeah, it is what happened.
Words can be words.
Words can be words.
What happened?
Are you okay?
Yeah, just like my, like the damage to the car is not bad.
It felt and sounded worse than it looks from the back.
From the back.
Okay, got in stop and time.
Well, I was not even moving really. It's just kind of have a little bit of like whiplash
I guess like my neck and like oh that bad my neck in my back. Yeah, really my pussy in my crack totally fine
That's what I was gonna. Hope about yeah
But yeah, no, it wasn't it wasn't bad. It's just I wasn't expecting it
So I mean bad enough that you got a little whiplash. I've never been hit hard enough
I guess knock on wood that I've had like fucking like
Did you get at the car doing this cuz you knew he was fucking he was sweating the moment you did that he popped out like
Pretty like significantly. I mean quickly he I think he was looking at his phone because I was like trying to get in
Somewhere you can't say it now now. It's the legal record. You're gonna fucking get this guy all locked up.
I think I said I could think anything.
I think the moon is cheese. How's that?
A lot of people do. So yeah, you might be starting something there.
But I was going in, I was like coming into a lane there.
You're so focused on my hands.
I'm for, I don't know why I'm so intrigued here.
I am like legitimately, but I was just, I had my arm out the window like I was cool
Oh, and then he hit me. Oh, he really humbled you real quick
I'm pulling your car first thing I did I like this
Yeah, that's the first listen this is the first when I got hit I got out of the car and the first thing I did was
Yeah, this is the universe like what's going on?
This is bullshit what I like I don't understand this is the universe, so like, what's going on? This is bullshit.
What, like, I don't understand this.
I feel bad for the dude who hit me because I didn't want, like, I was almost like, it's okay, dude.
Oh, the whole time. Like, I wasn't mad at him at all.
Yeah, that's good.
I am mad that, like, now I won't have a car because I have to, like, send it in and how bad is the dammy?
It's not bad, but, like, you don don't want to I don't know if the light works
The back what Joey this sounds like he hit you pretty hard. No if you go see the car
I will normally on my way out as I as I told you before I drag my balls across your door handle
Oh, did you see ass last time now it's balls? Oh now you're going front?
It's a surprise I try to mix it up a little bit, you know paprika one day and cayenne the next it's all. Now you're going front. Oh, it's a surprise. I try to mix it up a little bit.
Thank you.
You know, paprika one day and cayenne the next.
It's all on some matter of taste.
Not an expression.
I, I've never been hit to the point where it's like,
oh, something might not work.
Like, I've got little taps, little beep beeps.
They felt way worse.
And then I go and look and I'm like, oh, there's nothing there.
Yeah. But this sounds like you actually, like like you might have a case on your hand.
On my hand?
On my hand?
You might have a case on your hand.
And you know what, Joe? Trust, let me get rid of that paper there.
Trust me, I'm a lawyer.
What are the papers saying?
The papers said, well, cowboy.
I'll show you.
Trust me, I'm a cowboy.
I showed it to you, but where is the paper?
I already threw it in the garbage, it's over there.
He made a sign that said, what did it say, Frank?
It was, first of all, I made this sign.
This is the one I made.
Joey had a sign for that he was going to hang up
in his office that said, you really want to do this, huh?
It said, trust me, I'm a racist.
Well, I just want to make sure Joey, you know, lives it.
And then you bailed out of that joke, huh? Good for you. But yeah, so I've been struck by a vehicle this
morning. Did you do like the name insurance car drivers license? You know, it's funny about
that. I've never done this before. Like, this has never happened to me. So I got his information.
He was kind of leading the charge because I didn't know what to do. Well, normally the people from the back tend to, you know, control the situation.
And yes, he did.
And he gave me...
I took a picture of his license.
That's a picture of his registration.
And he gave me his business card.
Didn't do the insurance card.
So I got to call this guy.
I mean, as long as you got that stuff, that's fine.
They can always look it up.
But also, did you take a picture of the damage on your car?
Yes. Okay. while you were there
Yeah, okay good then now you're now you're getting it. Let daddy teach you here. Yeah. Yeah
Oh insurance guy over there too. I was a former insurance guy
Yeah, and you know what I did I drove away and then I called my mom and I said hey my I was just in a car accident
The only reason why I'm calling you is because I don't know what's next. Yeah
No, I don't know what's next. Yeah, no.
You gotta know what to do.
You call your insurance.
So who do you have?
Geico?
I think.
Okay.
You don't know?
I have Geico.
Okay.
You call Geico.
Oh, you don't want them to know you have Geico.
Why does that matter?
Makes sense.
You call Geico and you let them know like, hey, get the Gecko on the phone.
I've got some issues.
Big T1 sec?
Yeah.
Do I have to do that like immediately
or like I have stuff to do today?
You should do it today.
But what happens if I don't?
You could, it could be used against you
in terms of like stuff like that.
It can.
You want to get as quick in front of it
as quick as possible.
Just say, hey, just let, you know,
I got, I got, my bendy got fended.
Yeah.
And I, my fended got bended.
Whatever. And it was by a Jewish man. I'm gonna leave that for you. I got my bendy got fendied and I know my fendy got bended whatever and
It was by a Jewish man. I'm gonna leave that. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know you probably I don't want to I want just to feel like a target
That's a smart idea
And he was a nice man. Yeah, I'm sure and he actually said he's like I appreciate you not you know getting so excited over this
I think he meant excited of like angry and like oh
and so excited over this. I think he meant excited of like angry and like,
oh, gotcha gotcha gotcha gotcha.
Yeah, because I've never seen
why people get so worked up when you like, yeah.
I mean, I guess I get it.
I wish you'd blow a light.
And actually, I have my dog in the car.
Accidents and accident.
You know, wait, where is that bitch?
Well, I was robbing him at the,
I had to bring him.
Oh yeah.
So not only you groom humans now, you groom dogs.
Humans.
Yeah, you said humans. You couldn't even get that one out
Sorry, my tongue is a little bit
My touch ball why the fuck is your tongue orange? Oh, I had twizzlers on the way here same question those are red
The fuck why are they orange? I don't know. That's a good question. Wait. Can you take a look at it? Yeah
Orange really orange it looks like orange soda. What did I have that was orange today?
Did you have an orange?
No.
Well, the Twizzlers couldn't have done it
because those are a completely different color.
I'm a little worried now, but it's all right.
I'll be okay. It was just Twizzlers.
Oh, and I had a mirror placement shake this morning,
so maybe that has something to do with it.
Was it orange?
It wasn't, but maybe, I don't know.
More stuff that is an orange.
You never, you never know.
Did you find like a skittle on the floor in your car and eat it or something?
No, would you?
Yes.
I would, if I...
The rule is the skittles.
Wait, here's the rule.
Here's the rule about candy.
Yeah.
I'm not going to go out and buy a pack of skittles, because I'm not a huge skittle guy.
They're good.
They're good.
I'm not, I'm not downplaying them.
But personally, yeah, not a big skittle guy. Okay. All right. But're good. I'm not I'm not downplaying them. But personally,
yeah, not a big skiddle guy. Okay. All right. But if I find one on the floor, I'm eating it.
That's a weird rule, dude. That's a no. I won't go by clean. I won't go. But if I see dirty ones,
I won't buy a pack of Swedish fish. But if I look on the floor, there's a Swedish fish in my car.
I mean it. Thank you. Why is that your rule rule because it's just like it's the convenience and like that. Oh, the happy day. It's dirty piece of candy
Dude, I mean dirty. Let's use that term loosely. Let's use it directly. It's a car for it's where the feet go
Yeah, I know I don't uh, I don't do feet go usually on the street in the world. Yes, the dirty
Dirt yes, they do put listen Joey. It's Germs don't affect candy the way that they do other food
because of bacteria and stuff like that.
You try it, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I believe it is true.
You believe it is true.
Yes.
Like, if you were to put an apple on the floor,
yeah, or a piece of candy, one of those is going
to rot way quicker.
The apple, if it's effing.
No, it'll go pretty quick.
Yeah, candy is not.
Candy is like, no, there's no bacteria that's just like,
mm, let me get some of that good old fucking red dye number five.
I think they are though.
I don't know.
I, same thing with like fruit roll ups.
I remember as clear as day in first grade.
Do not say what you're about to say.
Okay.
You ate a fruit roll up off the ground.
I'll do you one better, not even off the ground.
In a bathroom?
I'll do you one better.
Better than a bathroom!
What did you do?
Basically a bathroom.
It was in the closet of our first grade class.
Yeah.
His D-Philippe's class.
His D-Philippe's class.
You win in the RIP? I don't Was D. Philippi's class RIP?
I don't know.
No, she's like really?
I have no idea.
She's cranking out fuck.
She's got to be in her 90s, dude.
Gotta be.
Anyway, you went into the closet.
Yeah, you remember those old wooden closets
at the back of the room where you'd hang up your jacket
in the beginning of the day?
I do.
They had big fucking hooks.
Big ol' fat hooks.
They did.
I remember going in there toward the end of the day
and they were like jackets on the floor
and on top of someone's jacket was an open,
removed from paper, fruit by the fuck.
Fuck.
And I was like, all right, keep frank, is this the story?
Yes, I swear to God, I swear on my children's lives.
You ate it?
Of course I did.
But why?
Because it was there.
I know, but like it was clearly discarded, you know like you removed from the package
Look at me in the paper. Hey bitch. Look at me now. I'm doing all right. Okay
Alright, let's eat and death though. I can't just go eating food off the ground
I do have stomach issues and I'm not gonna confirm nor deny that maybe that I'd something to do with it
Yeah, because you're eating like a raccoon
You're eating garbage. Do you understand that I saw fruit by the foot on the floor at seven years old?
You know how excited I was I get that but Frankie food when it's in the air as food as soon as it hits the ground garbage
Well, it was on my defense. It was on top of a jacket. So maybe an estranged jacket
Who jacket could it have been who's real dirty in our first grade class? I think it was some dirty children
They're okay. We were all kids. We're all dirty
It was the 90s no one gave a shit. All right. We were fucking living it up, you know, we had bigger fish to fry
Like what?
Who's gonna trade me a fucking Alec as am? You know what I'm saying? That's a good Pokemon
I know it's a good Pokemon. Give me your fucking...
Is that the one with the spoons?
Uh, Kadabra is the one with the spoons.
Oh.
Alicazam, does he have spoons?
I don't think so.
I think they all had spoons.
No, Abra didn't have spoons.
Kadabra, was that like a magician fox?
Yeah, it was actually funny that I know this
because it's absolutely useless for the rest of the world.
Yeah. But Kadabra was based off of, I believe it was like a popular English or he was basically based off of a popular magician.
So Kedabra as a Pokemon card was not allowed in Pokemon TCG competitive play or the card game for years and years and years and it's recently come back.
Why wasn't it allowed? competitive play or the card game for years and years and years and it's recently come back.
Why wasn't it allowed? Because it was copyrighted. Like they were having fights with the magician.
Like, yeah, those were my spoons. Oh, so the spoon wielding magician just pissed off about
Pokemon. Well, wouldn't you be if they were stealing your likeness? If there was a Pokemon
that was called like, you know, I barely pay my workers enough them on you know wouldn't you be like oh shit
That sounds a little targeted at me. I don't like it
I deserve some residuals from this multi-billion dollar company. Oh, okay, that makes sense. I'm sure that's what it was
Yeah, he's like yeah, dude give me some of those Pokemon
But yeah, of course I was gonna eat that Joey
Well, you're gonna tell me you're gonna tell me you've never come across as a stray
Just forgotten piece of candy in your house.
And you just go away to sec.
No, actually no.
Oh, sorry, Mr. Fucking Health Guru over here.
Why can't we live all like you?
Frankie, everyone knows you don't need food off the ground.
That's not exclusive to me.
I'm not listening.
If it was on the street, Joey, big difference.
It was on a fucking first grade school closet floor.
Frankie's schools are literally epicenters of disease.
They have become that, but when we were kids,
we were fucking, you know, licking poles at recess.
Like, we were livin' it up, baby.
Who was licking poles at recess?
I was playing handball and kickball,
and you were licking poles.
First of all, you weren't playing handball,
you were playing ASS, call it what it was, bitch.S you were in play you were never good enough to play handball
You had a little baby palms. You had baby palms don't talk about my palms your palms are not cool shut up. Yeah, I got rad palms
Yeah, the cool kid over here. He's over there. We're just big palms
Eating food off the floor and going so sorry I'm so sorry we're all
want to be mr. fucking you know Jim teacher fucking you
know jerk off material that's what you were that's
exactly what you were I was a cool kid I was playing
kungi's playing Pokemon and eating fucking stray candy
what sounds cooler than that I can't believe that story yeah
it's very very very true Let me ask you a question
and I swear to God if you lie, I'm gonna be pissed off. Okay, but I hope that I know the answer.
Okay. Have you ever, and don't you, I will be very honest with you. I've never lied to you on these
shows. Okay, okay. Have you ever taken gum off the bottom of the desk and ate it. Uh, yeah. Not, but listen, listen.
Not, no, no, no, no.
Not as like a on purpose.
When my, my dad, my parents accidentally took,
listen to me, desk gum, listen to me.
My parents told this story to us.
Like when we were like toddlers,
like fucking like two and my brothers,
or I was like three and my brothers were one,
or whatever the age bracket,
they couldn't take us to restaurants for years
because we were such fucking nightmares as kids
and my dad actively, and my mom too,
tells the story of remembering us being at a restaurant
and looking under the table and we were down there
picking the gum off the bottom of the table
and needing it.
Woo!
I hate that.
Yeah, well, what's up?
It's all right, it's okay.
Here we are.
They don't have gum on the bottom of tables anymore.
That's like a thing in the past.
No one does that.
The cigarettes and gum, they're kind of like a thing
in the past.
Yeah, no one, life was bet.
I'm all I'm gonna say.
Yeah, I'm not a smoker.
Yeah.
And I'm not a littlerer.
But life collectively was better when there was more gum.
When there was more gum on the bottom of the desks, and when cigarettes were just like being targeted to kids.
When you can blow some cigarette smoke into a baby's face, that was fun.
Really cool.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, neither your parents smoked, right?
No.
Holy, my dad smoked enough for all of our parents
And I'm saying the collective all like everyone that watches this yeah, I don't I think that when I know my dad is never smoked cigarettes
But I think my mom when they were younger may have a weed maybe I'm sure your mom smoked weed. She was a child of the 70s
Right yeah, yeah, but my dad never did anything
What was that was fucking like mr. Athlete?
Yeah, I guess
I recently you know it's so funny is I recently saw my uncle and
My uncle that knows hilarious dude
I saw his uncle let's lose our minds. No, no, no, it's my uncle that is good childhood friends with your uncle
Which uncle?
We're gonna start naming names.
I'll throw them out there.
I don't care.
I don't care, Uncle.
Your uncle with the twins.
Okay.
And they were good childhood friends.
And every time I see him, he always asks about you.
And you're, and it's like, oh, you still working
with the Shanic Atta?
And I'm like, yes, I am.
And he, last time I saw him, he like,
skipped the, like, pleasantries and like, small talk of like,
hey, how you doing?
How the kids he goes,
did you know how much of an athlete Joe senior was?
Yeah.
And I was like, uh, I've, I've heard he's like, not like, I'm telling you like the best.
He talks like that.
Not not really, but, uh, I was gonna say for the sake of the story he does.
And you're doing well.
Thank you.
And I was just like, Oh, oh, no, I've heard.
Did he say hi to you at least?
Or he just started out?
And he was just like, so how's it going?
But like really start letting
with the talk about your dad.
That's crazy.
Which can't escape that man anywhere.
Yeah, no.
That's hilarious.
Anyway, moving on, let's switch some gears.
Oh, can we switch gears?
Yeah, we can switch some gears. Yeah. Um
How do you switch gears not like
Oh I don't know I've never driven an you know how to drive stick
No, I tell you what I did once and I didn't know I tried once and it was bad for the person's car. Well, for me drive his car and I, it's, dude, I don't know what I did.
I hate it.
But it's like, all you gotta do is like the collection and the thing and I was like, okay, cool.
And then we were on Dittmars Boulevard.
Uh-huh.
On a very congested Boulevard.
No, it was like 70-something street.
Oh, okay.
But it was like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was basically a highway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And this is my turn's green.
There's mad cars behind us and I did something
It sounded like the bottom of the car just hit the ground
Yeah, and I was like I don't know and then he just like did something and then we started drawing
I hate how like driving stick is like a like it like puts you in like a tier of like intellect above other people
It's also a European it is really European. I don't like it. Yeah. Automatic transmission, or what is it automatic,
your switch, or just automatic,
oh, transmitting anything?
Watch this, that's so much I know.
Automatic.
Automatic.
Way better than manual.
Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna be sitting there
and just fucking jerking my car off
as I'm trying to drive.
It's like, I gotta slow down, jerk it off too.
I think I've been, there was a friend of mine in college
who had a, you know know like a stick car and
We were driving and he's just like oh I'm gonna take this exit
And he went from 70 to 10 miles per hour and like fucking burned 150 calories while doing it
Yeah, I don't I don't I don't like that shit. I mean you gotta be careful if you go to Europe and you're like renting a car
Oh, I need to make sure that's sick. It's like now I'm done. Oh, no. I mean that's YouTube, baby
You just pop that YouTube up and you figure it out
It's just annoying. I wouldn't want to do it. There's like three pedals clutch break gas and there's no parking
That's the other thing I love
Yeah, you have to fucking the emergency break to park fucking stupid why we're
story about when, you know,
Pete from the neighborhood,
there's like three beats.
No, a little Pete.
Petey.
Yeah, Petey.
He was driving Ralph's car one time.
Oh boy.
And it was like four by 40-ishy park.
And he like let the emergency break down.
Or I think Ralph was like, you just,
before he was like, yeah.
Bro, he like undid the emergency brake in the car
Rolled and to hit the car in front of them and then that car rolled and hit another car
Fucked up is that
So many of all of co-op I've done that not oh hit and run you've committed a felony well careful because I don't know
I don't know what this it it doesn't matter, Joey.
I didn't hit a car.
I tapped a car and was like, well, this isn't a parking spot anymore.
And Joey, you instantly just turned this into a felony.
Frank, it's all hearsay here.
Do not.
Do not.
Do not say what you're going to say next.
Just say it's a joke.
This is a comedy podcast.
I've killed a man.
OK, well, or it could be that the statute of limitations over so I just watched a movie
Have you
Congratulations, you fucking dunce yeah, okay walk me through a big guy. How was it champ?
I was trying to finish it Oh my god. That's not what I meant.
I was trying to finish it.
Trying to finish the movie?
No, very simple.
Just leave it on.
I watched the movie.
Yeah.
I just reminded you of the lawyer thing.
Have you seen it?
It's called primal fear.
It's old.
Oh, with Adnor.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen that movie.
I just watched it for the first time.
It was a good movie. Yeah, very good. Who's the guy? Who's the hot guy?
Fark gear is it Richard gear? Is it Richard? The one that had the gerbil up his ass. He had gerbil's it is that there was a rumor
Wait, pretty woman Richard gear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the gerbil in his ass rumor was that he liked gerbil play
That's terrifying. Why are you even go pal? I was not gonna kill you too, bro.
Little gerbos scratching out your inside of holes.
Dude, gerbos.
Yep. I mean, I'm not a big stuff in my ass guy.
I'm not, I'm not, not even a big.
I would say I'm not at all a stuff in my ass guy.
Yeah.
Um, but the idea of like a little mussely character
that's like fuzzy, just kind of burrowing it in out of your butt.
I could see why that would be sweet for people.
What?
You know?
No, I don't know.
I mean, you know, you think that sounds good?
If I were to be a butt guy,
like if I were to be like,
so you would just be like top of the food chain.
Because I think like bottom of the food chain.
No, but I mean like you come into like the butt play,
you know, whatever you're like, I'm gonna skip thumbs and dildos. I'm going right to animals. Is that your saying?
I don't know if that's technically why would we consider that a food chain thing who said food chain? You said food chain
I said food chain you said your top of the food chain. Oh, I meant like you know
You're going right for the fucking proverbial food chain for the fences
You don't want to start off hitting a couple things. There are people who are into getting there, but
Touched and stuffed formed. Yeah, yeah, but they're like I'm not putting a gerbil in here
I'm not I'm not I'm not listen. That's what I felt like. I'm sure you can call it whatever you see. I am saying
I am saying. I am saying. Another universe.
You know, let's Dr. Strange this shit and we open up a parallel universe.
There's a version of you that loves you.
I'm sure in another universe, well take,
I don't know why that needs to be behind it.
I don't, I don't know why that needs to be behind it.
I'm sure there's a version of us in the world.
That like butt play. But in this one us in the world, that like butt play.
But in this one, in this universe, not a butt guy, okay?
But, you know, kind of dream walking into that version.
I can see why people would like the idea of a gerbil.
Okay.
It's a small, mussely, rodent that is really soft and furry,
just kind of, you know, cleaning your pipes. Muscley, rodent that is really soft and furry,
just kind of cleaning your pipes.
I don't know about it cleaning anything, I think that it's like scratching.
Yeah, that part, well you just,
you're not worried about, what if the gerbil
just goes, you know what, I'm going this way.
Yeah, well then you gotta problem.
He's going up.
Yeah, you got a problem.
You have a fat problem.
You got a problem, or you can just take a couple of accidents.
That thing will be out in a couple of hours.
Are you supposed to poop it out?
I assume you like maybe like it's like in like those like
horror movies where like you know they tie a rope to it
and then you can like pull it out.
You can kind of give it like a nudge.
Oh like they do with like astronauts or it's like.
Yeah, yeah, or like the person's like
I'm gonna go into the dark abyss
and I'm tying his rope to me.
I think you can feel a tug. Two tugs pull me up. Yeah, exactly like the person's like I'm gonna go into the dark abyss and I'm tying his rope to me I think you feel a tug two tubs pull me up. Yeah exactly. Yeah, there's never a tug because they get cut and they get died
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bin yard. Thank you to our friends and we're looking
forward to you guys coming back over. Why do you keep looking at me
like that? What am I doing? You're looking at me like I know you
you like kind of judge me on how I do that little.
No, I don't. That's a first while I was looking at the time.
There's a glare from this thing. I just want to know how much
you want me to move it a little bit. No, okay, bitch. I was checking Joey. I don't know if you know this yeah, but pretty much the biggest story in the world right now is
the new
It couple of Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift. Yeah, the world is collectively losing its minds
Bro, you have the Swifties Swifties, you have the Kelsey...
What do we call the Kelsey fans?
Chief Kingdom, chief kingdom.
But it's not just the chief king, it's all,
it's really kind of like NFL fans
are kind of reveling in this a little bit.
Yeah, I mean dude, it's the biggest thing in the world.
I never understood, I did not get how famous she actually was
and also this is coming out of fucking nowhere.
Bro, that's my point, exactly.
Listen, I've always first told Taylor Swift
we've been around for like 15 years.
Also, I'm pretty sure that this year,
I'm being serious when I say this,
when I get my Spotify wrapped,
I'm pretty sure she's gonna be my most listened to ours.
Good for you.
I don't, I'll be honest with you.
I really know maybe like three, four songs.
I know fucking all of them.
Good.
Been around forever.
Obviously been a consistent star. Yeah, bro as of like me. Yeah, she was the fucking Beatles
She was Michael Jackson. She was the biggest star on the planet and
All due respect. I'm not saying that she shouldn't be but it just seemed like it came out of nowhere am I wrong? Yeah, I mean, I think that like
She I don't know bro. Yeah, I agree. I think that like, she, I don't know, bro. Yeah, I agree.
I think that like, she's always been a huge star,
but then I was like, wait, what the fuck?
And the, the, the swiftees as a collective group
have become like the second most powerful like group
of people on the internet behind people like,
like anonymous.
Like anonymous, yeah, I was gonna say like the pentagram.
Pentagram, pentagram.
The pentavirate, you mean?
No, who's the pentavirate?
Oh, I'm not gonna get into that.
Go ask Mike Myers about that.
What is that? Is that like, deal leads who are like,
yeah, there's like a conspiracy that like,
the Penta-Paret are like five leaders,
like every major, like sector of the world
that come together and they're like lizard people
and all that stuff, yeah.
That'd be fire, dude.
Anyone out there who's a lizard or a luminaughty,
I wanna be a part of this.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, chill dude
You got friends and family you don't want dead. Why do they have to die because they cuz they're like oh you want in?
Okay, pick one of these five people you need a murder right now you cool with that no what if I'm on that
More importantly, yeah, what if I'm all of it?
What does that mean what if I'm on it like I would be honored
But what if they're like,
you have to kill Frankie to be rich and famous?
Oh, no.
Thank you.
Okay.
I just want to like know a lizard.
That would be pretty cool.
I can teach you, you know, there's some lizard people
in Mortal Kombat if you want to learn.
Oh yeah, what's his name?
Reptile, but his real name is Seizoth.
I'm Visitarians.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Seizoth? of the Zeterans. Okay. Okay.
Seizoth?
Yeah.
Beautiful name.
Really cool guy.
Actually they made him, like,
I'll show you a picture after
it's really second to the new one.
Oh, it's okay.
But Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift,
kind of, I tweeted this,
I was like, I can't, or X did, or whatever.
Now, tweeted it, it's all right.
Yeah, that's fine.
Freedom of speech.
What, bitch?
That was fun. You know what? But I was like, it's fine. Freedom of speech. What, bitch? That was for him. But I was like, it's crazy how Teoswift going to that game
just flipped the world upside down and the NFL.
Like, they only talked about that.
And this is like two days after the fucking Dolphin scored 70.
No, it was the same night.
Oh, is that night?
Yeah, it's like that came and went.
Like a historic thing.
Yeah, exactly. We literally forgot about the Dolphin's everyone just immediate and I have to say what she's gonna be at the Jets game
This Sunday. Yeah, oh boy. I might have to go up do go maybe I don't know
But watch the Jets get beat by 400 points. Yeah
That's what's going to happen. I mean our defense put it kept us in the game last week
Don't even fucking sit there. It's just because Zach Wilson fucking is dick for hands. Yeah, yeah, he's not yet
Um, I feel bad. He seems like a nice boy, but the guy maybe also flat star possibly but I just
It like literally turned the like the world on its head like his jerseys went up. I like 300 percent
400 yeah wild crazy
Everyone now and I don't know if you saw there's like things coming out that's like,
they wrote a cheat sheet for Taylor Swift
to understand football.
Yeah.
I believe that.
I mean, yeah, okay, if you don't get it,
you wanna learn it.
Okay, good, that's the way it,
I don't know why people are like,
well, she should learn.
Like no, that's how you learn.
It's a fuck.
Yeah.
I just, what are we calling the name of this couple?
Swelsey
Culls lift
Gift I don't know get take Taylor Taylor Taylor Taylor Taylor's Taylor's
Kelt's 50 Davis Davis Davis a this I don't like that. I was a rental car
But we did have Ben and JLo were Benjamin. No, they were
Or they be low what were they called who JLo and Ben Ben Affleck they were Ben
J Ben
What were they they were like a very famous one Ben Ben Joe Ben Joe a banjo
They were they
Wait, what were they? James and Owen, Ben.
Ben, Jim and Ben.
Ben, Ben, Ben.
Baffleck?
No, that's him.
Aflopez?
No.
What the hell?
Don't look up.
We're going against it.
We're not.
You know, you kind of look like Travis Kelsey a little bit.
When you do like your squinty smile, a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, look at the camera.
Well, don't you tell her.
Throw a couple bucks my way.
I mean, they're both doing very well financially, I think.
Yeah, okay.
No, I said throw a couple bucks my way.
Benefer.
Got it.
That was it.
Found it.
Good job.
That would have killed me.
That one just flew out of my mouth
I did not good bad who was what was a
Brad Pitt a brand Jelena brand Jelena brand Jelena
Benefers way cooler benefit. So what is this one gonna be so Taylor Swift Travis Kelsey, so it's trailer
Trailer's are here Trailer. Trailer's here.
Trailer Swiftly.
Trailer Swiftly.
Trailer's?
Yes, Swiftly.
Yes, Swiftly.
Kelsey?
I think it's just first name.
Yeah, I think we can just call them by individual.
The trailer.
Their identity is not tied to who they're dating.
It's okay.
Beautiful, Frank.
You like that, right?
Yeah.
Good job.
Way to be like.
Inclusive.
I like to make sure that people remember that I'm not a piece of shit.
Well, I don't think that's inclusive. I think that it's like, you know
Oh, I think something like that is very inclusive because people sometimes feel that once they date someone their entire
You know fucking a personality and and and identity is tied to who that individual was and who that individual is and
The joint effort in which they put into the relationship and it's not they are still individuals. I agree with you all right
Remember when you said you didn't support women's suffrage
because you didn't know what it was?
The stop that!
Stop!
Stop what you're doing.
I was confused and I said I was confused
by the name of the word.
Could you say, do you think it's a gray area?
It's like confusing.
No, no, no, no.
I obviously support women's suffrage, Joey.
It's too close to suffering for me.
So if someone would be like,
do you support women's suffering?
I'd be like, oh, of course. And then be like, gotcha. And I didn't want that to happen. You want them to get a lot of money. We're going to be able to get a lot of money.
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We're going to be able to get a lot of money. We're going to be able to get a lot of money. We're going to Spears put on a phone. Oh shit!
Why are there four men standing?
Where the fuck is this going?
Yeah, no.
We, if I'm frank, you just made me watch the video
before we started the podcast,
but Bernie Spears, she's known to Buggie.
I mean, you can put it like that.
She's known to Buggie in her own house.
And I'll sit, like, listen, love Bernie Spears.
Oops, I did it again.
One of the greatest songs probably ever.
I want pop songs, rather.
What music catalog you'd taken?
Bernie Spears, Taylor Swift.
For I'm taking Taylor Swift.
Really?
Yeah, there's so many more songs.
Whoa, fucking Spears ran so Swift could walk, you know?
I'm not saying that.
I just wanna make that very clear.
Of course. She's the OG. I just want to make that very clear. Of course.
She's the OG.
But Taylor Swift's got a wild catalog.
I mean, you could say Madonna's the OG,
but we're not going to get here or there.
Yeah, I know.
And I don't know.
Or even Stevie Nicks.
You can go back farther than that if you choose.
Was that pop?
Stevie Nicks.
I mean, no, but she was just kind of like a bigger,
larger-than- like female music icon
Sure, you want to trace it all the way back to like a patra like what do you want to do?
Okay, so you're taking Taylor Swift music catalog over Britney Spears. Yeah, definitely. I don't know enough about Taylor Swift
But Britney Spears I know it's Britney Spears. What are what are spears is?
Like what's her fandom? We have the Swifties and what is it?
The spirit on this. I don't know. I think it's just like this probably the spearheads. Is that like? Spears is like what's her fandom? We have the Swifties and what is the spirit?
Oh, I think it's just like this, probably the spearheads.
Is that like, yeah, not good to say?
There's another, I'm gonna stop you before you say it.
Spear?
Stop because there's another like insensitive terminology
that's used with the word spear that,
let's just not even like play around with
Don't I'll tell you know it. Okay. Good. I'll tell you about it after is it like Native Americans It's I believe it's a derogatory term used for people to color specifically black people. Oh, yeah
I don't know. I don't know good
but I
But yeah, so fucking Britney Spears was in her house.
Doing a little dance for Instagram or whatever.
She does quite frequently.
But this time, she grabbed two big old knives.
Big old fat fucking kitchen knives.
Yeah, she's got, yeah.
And she was just kind of like,
she was doing like, she was going all over.
And I think it was like blades in.
Yeah, it was scary.
It wasn't safe.
I'll say this though, time of the year to do it is right now.
We are in prime spooky season.
It is scary.
Halloween is upon us, Halloween season,
Halloween as we would say.
We wouldn't, we would.
And if there's a time to invoke, you know,
the like scary spooky dancing, it's now.
Right.
I was a little worried watching that.
Yeah, she could have cut her whole head off that way.
I mean, she's a trained dancer.
So maybe we're just overreacting.
Yeah, but she's not a nice dancer.
How do we know?
We don't.
You've been to every Britney Spears show?
I've never been to a Britney Spears show.
Oh, there you go.
So how do you know she didn't dance with knives up there? I don't I know she dances with snakes
What's more dangerous a knife or a snake?
I know the answer. What is it snake? It's got to be right throwing knife in that corner throw a snake in that corner
What's what are you more afraid of?
Yeah, no, I'm saying what do you get you know?
You had nothing to add, but you said.
What do you eat?
You know?
No, that's it.
This is alarming.
And I want to say this.
I love Britney Spears, but I don't know what's going on.
There's a whole, there's a whole conspiracy
that I have not even.
I know.
It's like she was dead.
Dipped my foot in the water.
It is.
It is.
So many of those. Bro, and it's like, she's been like Photoshop in the water. I did so many of those bro
And it's like it's like that she's been like Photoshop by her ex boyfriend and stuff and like he uses like voice recordings of her and shit like that
I just I just want to make sure she's okay. Yeah, we want to know that she's good. Maybe maybe the video was her
saying like
Like some sort of knife Morse code. I will fucking cut.
Yeah, like I will fucking cut.
Like maybe she was spelling stuff out.
Yeah, like I'm come help me.
Well maybe, or just saying like come closer,
maybe like her boyfriend was behind the camera
and she was just like, excuse me.
And she was like, just like telling him like,
the ear, like don't, yeah,
she's trying to like land him out
out of her life.
Out of her life.
Are they still together?
I don't think so.
Oh.
I think there's a whole lot going on.
I'm not quite sure, but that knife,
that you're gonna tell me,
yeah, first of all,
she could work at a like a Hibachi.
She's still got it.
Yeah, Hibachi, absolutely.
Hibachi, no, but isn't there another name for the what's the place called?
Is it called Hibachi?
What they like cook on the stove? Yeah, what's that?
Hibachi Joey. It's just Hibachi. No, wasn't there? There's another name welcome back down to earth Joey the normal people
It's called Hibachi you fucking elitist pig is it yeah
But the place
Hibachi I believe it's named after the cooking style of Hobachi.
I don't, that doesn't feel right.
I don't care.
Because it is right, Joey.
I have to look this up.
One last time you went to Hobachi.
I've only been one time.
I went last year.
I used to Hobachi it up, boy. In college, there was a spot by us.
As you're looking something up, there's a spot by us
that would always, like, I think I told the story recently,
like they would give us like half off,
it was like half off.
Betty Hanna, you dumb bitch.
That's a chain.
And it's not even-
That's what I was saying.
Betty Hanna, I don't even think it's Habachi, is it?
Oh no, it is, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
I would confuse them with P.F. chains. Oh, I'm not. Yeah's Hibachi, is it? Oh no, it is, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm a cringey with PF chains.
Oh, I'm not.
Yeah, Hibachi is great.
Go to Hibachi.
Let's go to Hibachi.
Let's have a studio outing to Hibachi,
and I can show you, I can cook, I can cook back.
Oh, you're gonna put the hat on?
I did.
You would do that.
Hold on, we're gonna get to that.
I'm gonna talk about that, I wanna expand on that.
Go ahead and make an expansive conversation.
But we do have some responses for today.
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Well, love it.
What were we just talking about?
Oh, Habachi.
The times I used to get so drunk at Habachi in college.
And we would add.
It's a sake, any blow-socky in your mouth?
Dude, I would swear to God, bottles.
He would be sucking all the sake.
Dude, a lot.
Like, we would get blacked out drunk.
I've told the story many times when my grandma died,
and my head had to get found by my friends.
Had to get found. It's true. But at a Hibachi, was it Benny Hanna? No, it was just like a local name one.
And the guy was like, who wants to, and I was like, I do.
And he would always do a thing where he would put oil down, light it on fire, do the volcano,
and what he would do is he would take two fingers real quick,
go like that, and light the volcano.
Hot oil?
Hot oil.
On your fingers.
On your fingers.
Dangerous?
Very.
And I was like, oh, I can do that.
And he was like, OK, come on.
And I was like, is that, I feel like that's not legal.
Oh, definitely not.
Yeah, good.
Go ahead, go ahead.
2012.
Yeah.
No laws back in 2012.
It's true.
And I was like, all right. 2012, yeah, fuck, no laws back in 2012. It's true.
And I was like, all right, and I was already blacked out.
We would pre-game Pabachi.
That's how much fun we would have.
And I went and I went, okay.
With your full hand.
Full hand burnt my whole hand.
No.
Bad, yeah.
I wasn't able to, like, I had no fucking, like,
ridge or finger print.
Did you scream?
No, that was so drunk.
But it hurt for the rest of the day bad.
So you went like this and then did you do the thing?
Yeah, it didn't even work.
Perfect.
It just fucked up my hand.
I just fucked up my whole hand.
Yeah.
And then did you eat after that?
Oh, of course.
I was still drunk and I felt it as I started coming down, you know?
So everyone got their food cooked on top of your burn skin.
Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. Actually, you know what? Didn't even think of your burn skin pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, actually
You know what didn't even think about that they definitely did yeah, yeah the burn skin in which you use to pick up dirty candy all over the ground
Listen man if I'm nothing else, I'm consistent. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, I don't know how that makes you consistent
Definitely makes me consistent all of those things make you seem
Oh, oh tell me about how fucking high in mighty you are bitch
You talk to me in these ways that are so fucking demeaning, disrespectful,
and I get so incredulous at the way that you fucking speak to me.
You use bigger words, that'll help you.
Hmm, I don't need to be figured.
You eat garbage off the ground like a raccoon, and you burnt your hand at Benihana.
Because you did, did you wear the hat, by the way?
I did.
I put you try to flick it into the hat.
I did, I did.
Did it get in the hat?
No, it didn't. Pfft. I did it. No, I did I did I did I did I did I did it get in the hat. No, it didn't
No, it did not I feel like that's not that hard
You're gonna phone call oh you're oh his wrist is getting a phone call
Oh, what is your my fucking I can take phone calls on my wrist what can yours do nothing you fucking
pieceless piece of shit
Yeah, where's your piece you You only got no piece on.
What is it mean?
Where's your watch?
Where's my piece?
Yeah.
Isn't that a gun?
Well, yeah.
What's more dangerous?
What's more dangerous?
A gun or a Rolex?
Why did you say it like that?
I was me being like a super like, you know, philosophical.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Did I do good?
No. Gotta say, I don't know if you saw this morning. I hate to be the bearer bad news. We lost a real one today
Who fucking Michael Gambon
Michael Gambon mm-hmm. Who's that?
Dumbledore
Michael Han, Dumbledore's name is fucking Michael Gambon. I believe so. Yeah, but Michael Gambon
That guy sounds like a mafia guy.
Well, he was, he was dumb, dumb bum.
He was the head of the fucking Hogwarts.
He was, you know, lost them.
Damn dude.
He's gone, dude.
By the way, I'm be fully honest with you.
Thought that dude, band-aid.
Well, the original one was dead.
Richard Harris.
Yeah, he died immediately, though.
I think Richard Harris.
He died halfway into the first movie.
Into the second movie.
Got it.
He saw that bassist and he thought it was real. He was like I'm out
Yeah, he's like you couldn't deal with this shit. Yeah, I do like the second double door
I can't handle all the sexual tension between Ron and
Was high and the second one was like all right motherfucker here. I am. Let's fucking square
Yeah, it was ready. He was ready to like fucking like you know, like isn't that crazy? I loved I loved the first the first double door
And like, you know, like, isn't that crazy? I love, I love the second one.
The first, the first double door was bit,
there's dust coming out of it.
Basically, he's like, oh, damn,
part, it's like, but this guy, I'm dead.
Bro, it literally was, I'm like, oh,
because it all, oh, no.
10 points.
Yeah, that's really, that's really good.
Yeah, I think it's like full of second one.
Extreme baby.
A second one, Pata was.
No, I guess that's more a snake.
That's more snake thing, right?
You're snaping, right?
But he was more like, he was more like,
he had like power behind him.
Like, you need not to fuck with him.
That first one, that old senile bastard.
I would have fucking tripped him up
if I was a student at Hogwarts.
He had barely lived his wand.
He was like, oh.
Yeah, and then, and then like,
fucking thug double door, Gamble.
Yeah, Michael Gamble. He was out there and he was just like
You know like he was fired him off. He was a limber old dude. He was also gay
Remember that
Remember what?
Uh, double doors gay. Oh, afterward Jake. I'm like, damn bomb was gay. Oh, I don't know
He could be but the doubleumbledore character afterward jk rolling
Which is like oh he's gay by the way sons gay
Make my opinion make some cooler. I why?
Because I don't want some fucking straady. Yeah
I don't want a lot of fucking wizardry is probably a little gay, right? I mean you see how they flick those risks like you see those
I mean, you see how they flick those wrists. Yeah, it's like, you see those?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You need a little flair.
Also, the straits, we got nothing.
Yeah.
Just like, we'd be like this.
We'd be like, um, Avada Kodavra.
Yeah.
The fucking, here we go.
You know, well, when Guardian Lovioso?
I guess.
Yeah, it's like, you know, the fucking...
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. You saw, he did that one, too. I know, I'm like, you know the fucking yeah
He did that one too, I know I know they whip it around dude. He fucked that shit He is gay and think about this right the straightest person in that entire series
Was Robert Pattinson in that one movie and he fucking died they killed them off quit
Yeah, all the girls like them and they were like, oh, yeah fucking back. Yeah, all the girls like oh my god
He's so hot and dude fucking fuck
And he was killed by the littlest little fucking you know like who killed a wormtail I believe
Who's that? Oh the little rat the little rat bitch. Oh the fuck Peter Patrick room. I think I'm
Patrick and he did it like no like so now that he's just like him. He's like
Yeah, and he's gone. Sorry spoiler. I don't know.
You hear him?
It's 20-year-old movies.
Yeah, yeah, fuck you guys.
You can't go watch it anyway.
All nine?
Eight? Nine?
I'm first of all, I'm doing that this year without a doubt.
Oh, you have to. Ever you, you got it. Especially now. We got to light our fucking
my awands and light our wands to the sky for our boy.
That movie is so good.
I love Hogwarts shit. I love Harry Potter shit.
Dude, it's so good. But like hog or shit. I love Harry Potter shit dude
It's so good, but like you're right the heroes wouldn't be good wizards because we'd just be like um
Fucking
Aloha mora. What's up? Yeah, and like you need a little like you need some flare flare some flagrancy
Yeah, that's why you're right man the fucking pal like that comes better also bro
Fucking Voldemort the way he holds his fucking wand the best I know you said you didn't like it
I love that shit. This is how you hold a champagne like a wine glass a wine of champagne flute. Yeah, he's like
Yeah, look at the legs on this
You can't like I'd hold it like you would you would hold like that because you're a fucking loser
Yeah, I would hold it like fucking sick you would hold like that because you're a fucking loser. Yeah, I would hold it like fucking sick
You know like I would be like I
Would do some shit where I'd be like that, you know where I'd be like fucking like you drop you'll drop your wand
Drop my wand look at this look at how tight that is look at that try to pull that out
You that ain't going nowhere you would be like this. Oh, oh, I can't see the dog
You would be like this. Ooh, ooh, I can't see the dog, Luma.
Ooh.
That is a pretty good spell.
Good spell.
But this, or even like a, like a, I'd hold my like a cigarette.
You know what I'm saying?
Like this is like smoking all of a sudden.
A little more.
Oh my god.
Asht my fucking Luma's over at you.
This girl walks by a thick tits you're like, ravilia.
Oh shit.
Fucking lumos big.
So stupid.
We're idiots.
We're also best friends though.
And these are the memories we're gonna have forever.
I would love to ride a hip-a-grip. Yeah. Oh my god. That looks like the best animal ever made ever very scary though
Again that was in the wings. I said the wings. I mean big wings big fat
When you could you get to the part in the game where you can ride it?
Where I beat the game. Oh, okay. I haven't beat it yet. I still have like side missions
Yeah, but I beat the game that should it's. I haven't beat it yet. I still have like side missions Yeah, but I beat the game that shit is sick dude brother last mission took me a while
Yeah, all right. I might not go back you learn any death spells
I'm going to all of them because I'm a fucking you mean the curse spells. Yeah, so yeah, yeah
Crucial yeah, yeah, yeah fuck yo if we do this it's dangerous. I was like oh, yeah really watch this fucking curse
Yeah, you know, it's fun. I would like a, I'd like a hypocrite.
Oh, dude, I wish I was a wizard so bad.
You know, bad I wish I can fly in a broom too.
Dude, I just fucking take off the ground
and just take my nimbus and just go right home.
Dude, I think about that fucking constantly.
Where I'm like, bro, if I just had a fucking broom,
I could literally just like, I wouldn't,
I mean, obviously, obviously wouldn't need a car
Definitely I could just walk outside my window with a broom. I wouldn't even walk I get jump off the window sill and fucking you there
Yeah, that would be so sick. What do you jump off when you're not on a broom and then you land on the broom and go when he does that
And it just fucking slides and undo you that's kind of hurt though. Yeah, it's got to hurt your that's got to hurt your big bangles
Yeah, it does I don't know if that would be a good idea
You do a little spell like make hard and bald balls or whatever, you know
There was that spell like you or I could do polygous potion so I could look like you have tiny balls
And then I could that thing wouldn't fucking that wouldn't hurt me at all
So I got to do little ball Joe a lot of people don't know this about him medium dick balls tiny
First of all untrue no, it's not and who says that show your balls then oh
That's that's how I'm gonna be wrong exactly. I'm gonna put my balls out exactly
I fantastic balls. No, it's you sounding a little fantastic
Sounding a little defensive of your balls. I'm being accused at I have to defend. Oh, yeah
You sound you sound a little flustered here Joey. Oh here Joey Oh, no, I got hit by a car Frank. You did that did get hit by a car
You did give me a fucking brain full circle that wouldn't have happened if you were on a hippogry if or if I was on a fucking
Broome if you were on a broom you wouldn't have got hit damn
But you are susceptible to spells remember the one that oh he was cursing him in the first one and it was shaking him
Oh, he was cursing him in the first one. And it was shaking him.
Oh, yeah.
He was hanging off a bit like this.
How the fuck in you see Snidling?
Okay, second.
Okay, I don't bet.
Oh, okay.
Hermione's fucking igneo.
Was that what she did?
I think it was.
The igneo is a fire one.
Now, in Femari.
Is that what it is?
Is it Flemari?
No, I have to look this shit out.
I think it's in Femari, bro.
Now I have to look it up.
Someone just responded, because I tweeted, you know, know sad and someone just responded with a picture of him
Just like yeah, I know who he's I know who he was him. Yeah, oh dude. He look very hotter spells
It's in in flamari seven other 77 why is bringing me to Oprah daily?
What's the lock one hello? Hello, hello, hello? Hello?
All right, so there's
Oh, but there's also a bear toe. That's also open lock doors doesn't make sense
Okay, oh, okay, oh that's a come here. Yeah, bitch. Okay, you okay? Sure sure sure sure sure sure Yeah, hello, hello all right. I'm a little bit more. I'm a mentee
Some of the water. Yeah, I
There's a bunch in here apparate
Apparel spritzes you can make an apparel spritz. No, I don't know operate when they go fucking
Oh, they like that's fire. Yeah, super sick. I send you teleporting dude. I know flu flu powder
You know how cool it would be to just stand in a fireplace and just fucking bang and you're somewhere else
Dude, you know you've seen like ninjas and like magicians do that thing so bad. I want to do it so bad
But when I was younger I would I would just daydream about being able to throw some smoke down and disappear
Oh my god so bad. He's the coolest thing in the world. Why is disappearing so cool?
um, I'm pretty Oh my god, so bad. He's the coolest thing in the world. Why is disappearing so cool?
I'm pretty, it's just, it's cool. I don't know how else I explain it.
That's so cool.
Yeah, I can't find the fire one here.
I think it's in Sendio.
In the game it is.
In the movie she says,
It conjures flames.
Yeah, in Sendio.
Yeah.
In the game it's like that.
But in the movie she says,
Inflamara, or Lentflamara. It's fucking, I don't know. Yeah, in the in the game it's like that, but in the movie she says in flamare or lemon flamare
Fucking teachers Pat. What's the what's the thing?
Okay, she pulls out of the pot screams. Oh
The the little little little screaming bitch Bogart. No, that's something else the little the little you know
You didn't get enough air time to do the captain of the team
Whatever happened that guy. Oh, don't know don't care. You don't remember him got you know
I do these are seekers
Potter
All right, Potter these little mountain these what is he called blooders these little yeah, there's is nasty one. Yeah, he like caches
Put it in the thing
He's so good at pantomiming and doing impressions of this whole movie.
I love Harry Potter, dude.
I'm not kidding.
I get it, cats!
Dude, that's a wild animal.
Oh, god.
This has become a Harry Potter Stanford.
Yeah, I don't know how long we've been doing that.
I'm totally cool with that.
I don't care.
Where's he gonna do the movie.
I do think we're onto something though
about the Wizards being better as gay.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, because what would you,
you, straight Wizards would not be fun.
Everyone needs a little flair in their life, you know what I'm saying?
Ron was straight.
Yeah, but like, he was red-headed,
so he had something else going for him.
He had, he also was like, you know, a coward.
No, he came around. He did come around. He came around. Actually, he also came around in the first movie.
That's actually you want to stop stifling in that stone and not
that's not good at this. Not me. Not me. Not a money. You. Yeah.
Alright, you remember when Keke. No, you can't.
Well, Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ says, when we were younger,
Keith resembled Harry Potter so much,
the glasses, the hair, and anytime we would be playing football,
playing basketball, anything, if Keith did anything even
remotely athletic, I would stop in the middle,
or if someone would stop, mostly me.
Let's be honest.
Yeah.
In the middle of what we were doing, we would go,
10 points for Griffin, duh!
Ah!
Just boys being boys.
Just boys being boys.
Boys being boys.
I don't know if you remember this part specifically,
but for some reason, I always sticks out my mind.
During that first quidditch match,
when the dude was keeping score,
when he presses the button to like, you know,
like when they score and he presses the button, I'm like, I love that.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know why, like the, like, I don't know. Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch'm carrying, right? Yes, and I like when he stabs the book. Oh, and it's fucking...
And then it's like, what?
It's like, where did it get to be?
Oh, I love that shit.
That's good.
Good guys, do me a favor.
If you've never watched them,
perfig the Harry Potter.
Perfect Halloween, it's slash Christmas movies.
Right, literally perfect.
Happy Christmas.
No, no, no, no, I don't like that.
They're British.
Happy Christmas, Ron.
What are you gonna say about the mask?
Happy Christmas, I'll read.
I'll read.
What was I gonna say?
Oh, and the mask, like, for some reason,
at the beginning of the movie,
when the diver finds the mask in a chest underwater,
it is like such a comfort,
like it's like ultimate ASMR for me,
and it makes me feel like a kid again,
when like, it's like the sound of the pebbles underwater,
like kind of like, kind of like chocolate,
chocolate, chocolate in a way, you know? it's such a like in a fish tank almost.
Almost, but they're like round and river rocks.
Yeah, and like it's just such a comforting sound.
I like that sound too.
Oh God, it's so good.
I also liked how in that movie,
like the mask shines real quick.
You know what I would be interested?
There's this show, I'm pretty sure it's on,
it was either on Hulu, it might be on Max now,
but it's a trivia game, a Harry Potter trivia game.
And I would be interested to see how you do,
because I think you would do well.
I think I would do well, but there's also some psych hives.
No, no, no, but I'm not talking like,
I don't think it gets into like,
what was the color of Ari Sox and Saison Faux,
I think it's just like, you know, like,
oh, who's the character that said this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you would do okay. I think so, dude. I fucking love those movies. Yeah, me too
Array, Boa!
I just love the absolute ripping fucking
insensitive racism that Drake or Malphoy says his name with
Potter Potter. It's like damn dude. Oh, I've actually gained
Potter. Yeah, it feels like the mud blood. Oh, oh, that's like this. That's that's the end word. That's the end word. Yeah
You know he was and he was letting it fly. Yeah, he was a drop him and his dad his dad was saying it dude the straightest hair
I've ever seen on a human being. Yeah crazy. Yeah, and by the way that's drag that's a drag
Dude don't try to act tough bro Jason Isaacs, we know what you were doing.
We know who's going on.
I love how now everyone is talking about how insensitive
JK Rowling has been with some of her comments,
which absolutely they absolutely have been.
But like, go look at those movies.
All over the place.
Yeah, yeah.
She didn't know what she was doing.
You know what I mean?
You got fucking Lucius coming through
with the longest, just straightest hair I've ever seen.
I don't know if you mean that's not in drag. Yeah, I've seen that wig before. Oh, yeah, and it's fucking
plowing you in the back of your fucking car. I know you're talking about Mr. Gold was wearing it. No, it was a bald Jewish man. Yeah, I mean he had a
He had a bald Jewish man in his pants maybe but
I don't know we're talking about it. Gold. It just so happens to be that name. Yeah anyway
Before we go
Which house do you think you would get in?
man
I'd like to be in Gryffindor wouldn't yeah, I would we can't have you would we can have you know?
I'm Gryffindor. Oh, you're a G door I have to be why are you Griffin door? No, no, no, no, fuck the game fuck the game at all I
Picked Griffin door in the game. They originally gave me something stupid like Hufflepuff. I didn't I didn't so mad
Dude I let them pick I was so I was so mad. Yeah, but I
Think I would be a slithering
Really because I'm resourceful, I'm cunning.
I'm cunning.
That's a good one.
I'm like, sly and slick, you know what I mean?
I can kind of talk my way in and out of situations,
maybe sometimes.
Yeah.
I think I would be a slithering.
I would like to be a griffin' door though.
Who does want to be a griffin' door?
Would you roll with Draco,
how no, that oil and barf? What's his name?
Crab. Crab.
Barf.
Barf.
Barf.
Goil though.
Goil.
I wouldn't hang out with anyone named Goil.
I don't care if they were like best friends with the way in the rock Johnson.
Goil.
It was like, hey, this is goil.
Like, oh, that sucks.
It's a good guy.
It's a good guy.
It's a good guy.
It's a good guy.
Yeah.
If his name was Gargoyle though.
That's kind of cool. Big difference. Yeah. Uh, I would, no, I wouldn't hang with them.
I'd be like with like the, like, you know,
the kids that were like drinking Polyjuice potion
and getting drunk, you know, next
and like hanging out with moaning myrdal and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, hello, no.
No?
No, I'd definitely hang out in that scary ass bathroom.
It's cool bathroom.
It's really cool bathroom.
And you can.
Big sink.
And that sink, that parts.
Big sink.
I'd hang out there 100%
I wonder what the water bill is there
It's all magic water. They're on a lake Joey. They probably have pumps
That makes sense that's got to also be the scariest place to go to school. You're just walking down the hall. They're a giant snake
Yeah, and it's like oh by the way just don't look at the giant snake headless ghost. Yeah, it's like oh by the way
What's up? It's like that's decaptation. Yeah, it's like that. I
Like it though. Anyway, can I ask you another question? Mm-hmm seriously. Yeah
Mnemonical mnemonical no mechanical mechanical tearing it down kind of yeah, I'm tearing it down
The Maggie Smith still got it bro. Yeah, she does as they Maggie Smith. I'm tearing it down. You're not gonna spit it. You're not gonna spit it. Yeah, she does.
She's not gonna spit it.
I'm tearing it down.
I heard one.
You should've said it's a classroom.
I'm like, nah bro.
Oh, I'm gonna take me to the next movies where she's just like, we have taken back hog
well, I'm like, yeah, this is not.
Give her some of my fucking, you know, broomstick.
That's what I'm saying.
I'll show her a number of three inches.
Yeah. I fucking you know broomstick, you know, that's what I'm saying. I'll show her a nimble three inches. Yeah
My god is getting it bro. Also, I wouldn't be able to kill Bella chick so you had to be trying to fuck it the whole time damn you about that Hell yeah, those teeth fuck me up. I know those are not great. Those are not great at all
They want to bowler. No fucking I'd be like you I can save you
No, you're a fiction teeth. Now you remember drako's mom dude hell yeah hell yeah dude
You put drako's dad's hair on drako's mom. What about tanks? What was her name? Who the one that was with loopin?
Oh, like a cat. Yeah
Tell that down who was good. I tell you who I wouldn't that bitch
Oh fucking little bitch
Pink who is that a umbridge yeah
So maybe she just needed some you know yeah ain't getting for me though just fucking you get an ava cadava
Oh damn you're murdering her. I'll kill that. That's what you'll, you'll flat out murder. Yeah, I'll kill it.
That's cool.
Alright.
Anyway, F-Alver's 885 on Twitter.
The Freak Hour is in all the forms of social media.
I think go check out the show on all forms of social media at the Basement Yard.
TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, everywhere, Apple podcasts, and then Patreon.com slash the
Basement Yard.
Joey, sign it off for the people in the back
You could follow me on Joe Santa. God. I'll go follow the show up at the basement yard and take talking and screaming that is all
See you guys next time
you