The Basement Yard - #421 - The Worst Accent In The world

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement. You're the best. You're the best. Welcome back to the basement. You are Frank. How's it going? I'm doing it. I'm sorry about my chief. Sorry about that. Let's scrub that clean.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Because I know why you said that. Because right before this started, you were talking about how much you love the idea of smallpox blankets. Frankie. Jesus Christmas. Oh, it's been a while. Yeah, I know. I know we're neither of us have any native first nation. What is it called now? Native America. No, I think that's bad.
Starting point is 00:00:31 What is it? I don't know. I think indigenous. I think I don't know. I think that's offensive to the indigenous. I'm not quite sure. That's not even anything. Indigis.
Starting point is 00:00:41 I don't know. I recently someone said like Native American and they were like, uh-uh, first nation. I don't know what's that. Like they were the first ones in the nation. That sounds like a Fox News show. First nation. Welcome back to First Nation.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Here's fucking brass tucker-fen, you know. Just like, oh shit, this is white. Yeah, but I don't, I really don't know. I, it's really hard to keep up Yeah, I mean I use I just I did genus. I don't know I felt really really really bad I did something really mean recently. I don't know if I could say this I Could say it I guess yeah, you can I've recently met a little person Dude I did what you do I didn't, when I started to speak with them,
Starting point is 00:01:26 I like, I bend the shoulders. I did a little bit. I like, hands in the thighs are sorority strong. No, you didn't. I did a little bit. I felt really bad and I instantly corrected it and I felt so embarrassed. You popped up and you were stretching like,
Starting point is 00:01:40 I was just like, oh, you know, because I was drinking a beer too at the same time. So I like, I'm putting a beer? I don't, can they? Like, Frankie. I don't, all right, I don't think they were, maybe they were, I didn't look, I couldn't see. Where were you?
Starting point is 00:01:56 It was too far away. Frankie, this kid's fucked up dude. That's so foul. Where were you? I was at a sporting event. Oh, and you know, we were talking about, you know, she's saying she's a fan of the show. I obviously really appreciated it. Hold on, time out.
Starting point is 00:02:14 The little person you met watches the show? Yeah. Are you? What? They're gonna see this. I'm not, what am I, what am I saying? I don't know. I'm gonna say anything disrespectful I just uh listen
Starting point is 00:02:29 Time out because I know how you interact with people hold on get dig out of the hole I think myself do you remember the last time I started speaking a person a color and you went up to them and you were like Don't don't you you, you buttoned your top button and unbuttoned all the other ones and walked up to his Spanish person. You say, y'all homes, like that's you. Yeah, that's what I did. That's what you did, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:52 100%. Yeah. No, I, like I've never in person met a little person. Really? I've had a little person poor vodka in my mouth. I remember that person. I remember that person because. I've seen that guy get into a fight with people.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Wow, that's like he was like involved in an altercation at the bar. I remember and I say this as a funny story, but I remember because there was a person we knew that went to like a nightclub. And I didn't really even know them, but we see we'd went to this nightclub multiple times when we were in our our early 20s and teens. Yeah. And they were there every time that I had been there, at least.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Oh, the little person. And I remember it was a particularly packed night. And I swear on my children, this is a true story. I remember looking over and someone was holding the little person by the waist and passing them like through the crowd. I swear to God. Honestly, that's got to be one of the perks. Just like throwing over there into the couch. Crowd surfing is so cool that like even you know rappers who are covered in like chains and shit that are super expensive,
Starting point is 00:04:06 they're like, I still wanna jump into this crowd of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, it passed around. So it's kinda probably, it's probably dope. It was like, it was like a split second and I like went in like that when I spoke to the little person and I felt so bad and embarrassed afterward. I don't think that that's, you know, bad, it's bad.
Starting point is 00:04:20 I think it's inappropriate. I think I think the way that you're saying it now is probably inappropriate, yeah. How so? Because you're laughing about First of all that she was so far away that you don't know she was drinking beer and we're making jokes here Joey No, we're not Frank. This is CNN. Oh, and you're on the news This is first nation and I'm and I'm a fucking you show Welcome back to first nation. We have disgraced podcasts. I was Frank Alvarez here. Hey
Starting point is 00:04:47 Frank You are what is what's the sad? No, no, no, what's the what's is there a word for like being Hispanic? No, what? I don't know. I don't know I'm not disgraced You're a disc I did say that. Oh, okay. I'm not gonna put this information out there. She was really, really cool. We actually talked for a while about stuff, but...
Starting point is 00:05:33 And then you got hammered and you're like, I can't. I did not get hammered. I wish I got hammered. I should have to watch. You got hammered off the hot dogs. I heard that. Listen, don't put me in an environment with hot dogs and beer and not expect a trouble. One trouble.
Starting point is 00:05:48 One whole trouble to brew. Yeah, but I feel good. You just catch up on those things? And crowd, they had crowd. Crout me up. Is that offensive to somebody? Crout. That's what people call Germans.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah, yeah. That's what put like old timey like in the 40s. Yeah, you know Now Germany is like what is what is that by the way crowd? Yeah, what is that? It's like pickled onion pickled cabbage I think cabbage cabbage cap um, but I don't know if it's pickled it's my it's like ferment not fermented But like I don't even know what fermented means really good for you. What does it mean? Like it's just like like set somewhere. I think yeah Like you allowed the sugars and yeast to kind of like fucking like finger bang each other Have that kind of time and there's like good enzymes digestive enzymes. I think I don't know now
Starting point is 00:06:31 We're talking about enzymes. I don't know put your lab coats on We're talking about enzymes and Simes Joey. What did I say? M'simes. No, I did not say that. Yes You did got almighty. We're going to the tape twice today. Okay. We're not even 10 minutes in. Yeah. But I feel good. I feel rested. I feel happy.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Okay. I've been sleeping better. All right. Do you want me to say what? Why? I mean, be appreciative that you know, you know, I have a young child, multiple young childs at home. Why, did you finally, you started putting the baby outside?
Starting point is 00:07:02 Is that why? Not outside basement. God. Under the stairs. Locked from the outside. Is that why? Not outside basement. God. Under the stairs. Locked from the outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, it's one of one, it's worked. And he became a great guy, right?
Starting point is 00:07:12 That's true. So like, kind of, that big fat family definitely, you know, put a- Were there the dursleys? The dursleys definitely put a chip on his shoulder. Dude, maybe he's not as like, you know, as brave as he was because he had to deal with his family. Yeah, as brave as he was because he had to deal with his Fatty and maybe he's better off because he had to sleep with like dust coming down on him anytime his fat ass cousin
Starting point is 00:07:31 Use the stairs exactly. You know what I mean? Yes, dude that kid sucks the dad really pisses me off Is that the guy in the Santa Claus with who they tape up? No, it's not I don't know, that's a good question. Different fat. I know, like he's since passed away. Who? The dad? The dad?
Starting point is 00:07:51 The big dursely? Oh really? Yeah, he passed away. I think his name was like Richard Griffiths or something like that. Damn, dude, him, Hagrid fucking. Hagrid dipped out. Dumbledore's gone.
Starting point is 00:08:02 He's so quick and right. You know who died too? Who? Remember fucking, um, uh, mouth voice like, smoke show mom? Oh yeah, that's right. Gone, dude. Dude, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:08:16 Fucking, I don't know, man. But, uh, well, the reason I'm in sleep with better is I've been, um, I, I, I guess I had a snoring problem. Mm-hmm. Are you snoring? Are you story, boy? When I'm drunk.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Really? Only when you're drunk? No, I like snore, but not consistently. Like, it'll happen for like 10 minutes and then I won't. Oh, wow. It like started up. When back in I first started dating,
Starting point is 00:08:41 it like started off as like a once every like six months. And she'd be like, haha babe, like you snore, and now it's become like, she kicks me. And she's like, shut the fuck up. Shut your fucking mouth. Yeah, it escalated quick. Okay. And I thought it was because, I don't know if,
Starting point is 00:08:59 close your eyes, now open them. I don't know if you're able to tell, but why did you make me do that? Since 2016, 2015, 2014, I've gained some weight. Oh, okay, yeah. That's why I had to close your eyes. Oh, yeah. Yes, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And I thought it was because sometimes snoring could be because of weight gain. Okay. So I was like, all right, I'm just gonna go to the gym. When I started going back to the gym consistently, snoring stopped. Oh wow, came right back. Good, like smoking cigarettes, baby.
Starting point is 00:09:30 It wasn't going nowhere. Nice, you know. So I bought the, it's like a mouthpiece. It's like a mouthguard, like a mouthpiece. Like, hold on, you're wearing a mouthpiece to bed? Yeah. Like an MMA fighter? Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:46 But like not. It's like the fucking, you remember vampires teeth that we had as kids around Halloween time? Yeah, I remember vampire teeth. How it's like, you know, it's like the piece and it goes on your top and bottom teeth. I wear that.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Okay. But there's no teeth on it. I just look like... I just pictured you with vampire teeth at that. I'm not. I'm not gonna sit not going to sleep with vampire teeth So you're sleeping in a mouth. Oh, although when I'm in bed. I'm out for blood. What's good, baby? That's weird. Yeah, that is But no, it's like I look like fucking Chris wide Like, I just have like a blue mouthpiece in. And it's supposed to like extend your bottom jaw a little bit.
Starting point is 00:10:28 So you have more of an airway? So it helps with like no snoring. But then you have your mouth just open. Is it? Well, no, my mouth is closed. Oh, well, I've really got a under bite. A little bit of an under bite. Like, I wake up and my mouth feels like I was just like,
Starting point is 00:10:43 fucking like getting railed. Well, why would you like a bulldog with like an underbike like I wake up in my mouth feels like I was just like fucking like getting railed well Why would you like a bulldog with like an underbike a little bit nice? Which is weird because that kind of underbike kind of runs in my family like I remember my uncle had a pretty pronounced under bite Diddy yeah, what an idiot? He's dead Double dumb former idiot Double dumb former idiot But does it work it works I stopped snoring you have to wear a helmet Now these shoulder pads. I don't know come on now. You know this is getting offensive
Starting point is 00:11:23 Okay, but since I've stopped snoring my daughter has Now been sleeping like kind of almost through the night. Oh, so you were keeping her up. This kid's coming and complaining. My daughter's horrible. She's horrible. She doesn't sleep. I don't know what it is. It's you. You snoring fuck.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Bro, I was, I would wake up in the mornings and Beck would be like, I would tell Beck I'm like, I'm losing my fucking mind. What about you, girl? I was like, I know, Beck up, but like me, you know what I'm saying? All right. She's not on the show. Right, it's just free. Forget a woman, forget the woman.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Forget the mother whose hormones are just going all over the place. And she can't sleep because they're fucking husbands beside her. Oh. Oh. Bro, she legit. What kind of snore are you? Did she ever record it? She worked so hard to say she legit one night recorded me was it sound like not good
Starting point is 00:12:07 I thought it was like a cute was it in an outward snore and inward it's a It's like a deep what's an outward snore? That's a hawk Your hawk is a bird you're hawk it up along there. It's hawk not hawk hawk hawk Joink we grew up in New York bitch. It's Hock, not Hock. Hock, Hock, Hock, Joey. We grew up in New York, bitch. It's not, it's Hock. Okay. It's, uh, I don't know, but some people just sound like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Polarious I knew some of that legit snored like that dude my dad used to snore and then it would stop I'm like oh he's going to literally dude
Starting point is 00:12:47 We'd be sitting in the living room the sun's out and he's on the couch and he's And then I'll suddenly be like And then we would just look at him shit and we're like this could be the time Cuz people die from sleep happening all the time. Yeah, I'm like just looking at my dad 37 seconds of a gone bite and I'm like, there's no air in there. He's turning plurple. Plurple.
Starting point is 00:13:09 He's turning plurple. And he's just, and then it'll just like break, you know what I mean? I think the concerning part is that you watched your father not breathe. What am I gonna do? Help him breathe. You wanna go give me CPR to my dad?
Starting point is 00:13:23 Yeah. Yeah, sounds pretty fucking gay. go give me CPR to my dad? Yeah! Yeah! I was pretty fucking gay! You want me to kiss my dad? Incest and gay! Listen, I was getting really frustrated with Maeve. Like, to the point where, I mean, you saw, I would come in and I'd be like, this fucking kid.
Starting point is 00:13:37 I wish Maeveys could talk. I, bro, and that's the thing is like, she's finally like, like yesterday, like, all week, she slept almost, like, she's had some hiccups here and there, but she slept almost every day until like 7am. And like is no longer like waking up as frequently, you know, like I said, small little, you know. You're the blind, missed out.
Starting point is 00:13:56 I'm like, I can't, this kid won't fucking save. And she's waking up to tell me to shut the fuck up. She's crying, she's like, please and it's just Yeah, so I feel a little I feel good. Yeah, but guilty. You just need a mouthpiece, but yeah, that's it open her up You know what's that maybe you have a smaller tongue do you have a big tongue? It didn't require you to make that face at all, like a lizard. I just needed to know.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I also didn't need to see it. You could have just told me. But I don't know what's big to you. Big is it, you know, like what's big to... It's just big for your mouth. Like, I mean, is it big for your mouth? I mean, it fits perfectly in my mouth. It has my whole life.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I don't know of any other size tongue. So how would I be able to tell you? It's fair. At points, I've had other tongues in my mouth too, and it's okay, you know what I'm saying? Whoa, you got room for other tongues. Damn right, you always got room for other tongues. Isn't making out so weird?
Starting point is 00:14:53 Dude, love it. You love it. Why did the French take that? Why are the French like, we just need to have the fucking, yeah, I don't believe that. I don't like that shit. Yeah, but making out is so weird, dude.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Like when you first started making out, isn't that? Someone, you know someone started with a kiss and they were just like, let's, let's go more. Like let's do more of a kiss. Yeah, let's like get closer. Not even just closer, but let's just shove our tongues down each other's throat.
Starting point is 00:15:18 Yeah, and also like, what do you do once you're in there? You wiggle around. Yeah, I know, but like, you don't wiggle back and forth like a fish, right? You I mean I just try to like swirl in I think I think I do the twist You know how like when you see like those baking videos and they fold over the you know like the batter cake batter Horrible fucking like no, I put my you put the tongue in and you just and then come out just a You put the tongue in and you just, and then come out. Just a, a gentle, a gentle fold.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Oh, you're flipping a pancake. A gentle fold in there. I'm trying, I'm swirling like a cinnamon bun. Oh, you're like a fucking alligator holding its prey? I don't know what I do, honestly. You go in there, you're like, oh, no, no, I'm not twirling like an alligator. I don't know if you could do that.
Starting point is 00:15:59 That'd be pretty impressive. I gotta know. I know, I'm not doing that. Show me your, show me your tongue, like when you're making out. No, I don't know. You're going for, I don't go not doing that. I'm just show me your show me your tongue like when you're making out No, I don't know you're going for I Don't go that far in oh you go for it. No, no, I'm not trying to like do you you got to go for it No, I'm not going all the way back there. I just like I usually stay like you know probably like you know I don't know halfway. I don't forget you know you hang out in the garden
Starting point is 00:16:20 You don't want to go and check out the fuck the face. I'm not in the kitchen. I'm in the fucking living room You know I'm in the mudroom all right, all right, okay. Yeah. I'm not like you're not just shoving a tongue down it like a shoved it well Sometimes if it gets like a little more like you know, oh Grab and hold on each other and rest. Oh shit, but like oh Shit, but like a normal like you know like it like you know, uh-uh, you don't know Oh, I don't you're not saying anything. Well, I'm just right you're going you know Oh
Starting point is 00:16:51 You know exactly I know I know what I start grams. I know what like Holders what like this is oh, but you're going like you're fucking like rock them sock them out there that I don't get No, and then you were putting your hand up and behind someone like you're giving him a pump handle slam No, I'm not oh no, you put your hand behind something like grab why they this low? No, you're down here Joey Frank. Yeah, I'm on a fucking podcast here. I'm you want me to I can't go it up I mean up I don't know you could be it's possible no, it's not possible. I've never kissed a seven foot woman in my life There was one it was close There was one it was close
Starting point is 00:17:30 I know seven foot. Oh, sorry six eight. No six ten. I think six foot No way cuz I'm six foot. I'm dead and she she towered over me. She did not tower She towered no she didn't dude. She was towering. No, she tried to play it so cool Like she had no idea who you were all right. We're not she was like, oh, who's this? Who is them? Oh, whatever All right, I was You remember this man. I was texting an NFL player from her phone. All right, what? There's been thousands of NFL players Yeah, we're NFL players. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:06 We're okay, Joey. Yeah. I'm gonna say her name. You don't, do you know her name? Don't say it though. Jesus Christ. There's only so many six foot women out there. There's only so many Amazonians, you know?
Starting point is 00:18:19 But what were you talking about? Oh, making out. Making out. Yeah. I remember my eighth grade girlfriend used to make out very quickly. Oh, and I could not keep up. I was like, I remember my eighth grade girlfriend used to make out very quickly Oh, and I could not keep up. I was like I feel like I'm being beaten right now like I'm being who? Yeah, like she was kind of like
Starting point is 00:18:33 Yeah, she kept retreating very quickly. Oh, you got a catcher. Yeah, that's what it felt like catcher I tried to bite her tongue I couldn't you well you had to move quick enough that if you try to bite her tongue You'd have some fucking shit on your hands. Did you do it? I got my lip bit once by someone and I was bleeding. Oh and then knowing me. What kind of fucking just blood Just throttle wrestle sex are you having first? Oh no, I was like fucking 19 years old when that happened and I was like this is ridiculous I thought it was like the most cliché like stupid shit and clearly she was you know not really Not a lot of practice there. She almost took my fucking face off. Oh, and I was I thought it was an intentional bite
Starting point is 00:19:14 It was well, then she had practice. Well, no, well like she was biting it to be like oh, this is sexy But she bit way too hard you can't buy hard like oh, she was breaking skin. Yeah, she broke skin So what happens naturally, all Joey here thinks I have AIDS. Oh, well, there was some blood. Joey, and I'm like, well, now I have... There's a couple things in between those two things that you could probably...
Starting point is 00:19:34 Frankie, when I was younger, I thought everything gave me AIDS. I thought anything gave me AIDS. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was afraid of the whole world. I was afraid of crossing guards. Oh, well, they're scary old women most of the time. Yeah, I didn't know. It was terrifying. I'd be afraid of them too. Still am. Yeah, I don't. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I'll fucking walk out of the way. Like the long way to not cross with a crossing guard because I don't know when to listen. We see when every morning dropping the kids off at school, kids, miles off at school. She's nice. You know, I had, I had to say something to her once though. What? Yeah, I had a, I didn't like, I didn't, she was making some comments and I got fucking fed up with it. At you?
Starting point is 00:20:10 Yeah. What did she say? There were multiple times where we would be walking to school and she would always, bro, fucking boomer women are like everyone's parents. That's what they think. Like, oh, like everyone is my child. I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to everyone. I'm so interested in this. And she, multiple times we would be walking.
Starting point is 00:20:29 And it's when Ruby was a baby. A four-mayve was here. The good old days. Right. You know. Kidding. Before you were keeping your babies up. Definitely not. Um, and she would always say like, oh, she must be cold. Oh, it's windy for her. The kid was wrapped up and bundled. Bum-bundled, dude. This girl, you could have fucking shot a gun at her and it would have bounced off. That's not, I don't know what that means.
Starting point is 00:20:56 But I'm saying like, fucking winter jacket. Oh, hi. She was parenting. Bro, she was parent, and she would always say, wrap that baby up. Your baby's freezing. Yes, always, always, always, oh, and I would always rub it up. You know, I'd be walking by it, I'd just like rub it off.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I would not think about it. I wouldn't think, I would just, okay, whatever. And I kept walking. And then one day, and it happened like no exaggeration, 15, 20 times. I would say, 15, 20 times, one day we're walking and it's a really windy day out. And Ruby's, again, all bundled up, fucking head to toe.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Socks, everything for all this, like, I know clothes. But I'm just saying, like, could have survived in the Arctic. And I'm walking and I have a hoodie on and my hood is up. And I think think Ruby had a hood on but it wasn't up, but she still had a winter hat. Yeah, and we're walking and I didn't hear it Becca heard it and she's like did you hear what she said to her? I was like what what and she goes she said oh Your hood on but not your daughter some father you must be I Said she said that huh?
Starting point is 00:22:06 No. Yeah dude, this one we came from my fucking throat. Did you turn around? No. What? Listen. I didn't find out because we were with miles. What was I gonna do?
Starting point is 00:22:15 The kid fucking, he's like, he's very sweet to her. I'm like, I'm like, go ahead, I gotta go. No, so we drop him off on the way back. Becca's like, and I'm like this the whole time. I didn't talk, I had a fucking, she's like, what's going on? I was like, let's go time. Let's go to 100%. I'm going to hit her all the way up. So we're crossing again, and I go, do me a favor, enough with those fucking comments. Nice. And she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, like, playing like, I didn't think, but also,
Starting point is 00:22:42 like, I knew what I was doing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry I was Yeah, yeah, oh, I'm so sorry and she's like oh, I'm so sorry and I was like yeah done and I just fucking when we kept walking I would have let her have more than that. No bro. What am I gonna do? You know, I would have been fucking she could she could Put that fucking stop sign down as I'm walking by one day and then boom I get hit by a Mac truck Yeah, but you could also be in the Mac truck that hits her, you know? No, it's not like that. She's, we've moved past it. We've never talked about it, but like, you know, she's a nice person. Enough with those fucking comments. Bro, I was, you mean-
Starting point is 00:23:13 You should have called Arnold Bag or something. I was fuming. I, I- It's pretty bad. Dude, some fucking, you know- I should have, right? That's why, like, that's why I had that point. I knew I had to say something because that's like, that's fucked.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Bro, the best thing I've ever been called in my life is a good dad. The worst fucking thing that this woman could have done, she did. So in her, like she, like that's my, like, you know, her calling me like a fucking dirty spick or something, you know what I mean? Right on the fucking podcast with that. I was back. Jesus Christ. Let's get to the end or something.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Jesus Christ. We'll be right back. Jesus Christ. Let's get to the end or something. Jesus Christ. We'll be right back. Fucking Jesus. You know what, you should have done would be cool. You should have like got a doll and bundled it up and then been like, you made me do this and I just spiked it. I just be like, you want to see the father I am and spiked it. Spiked it.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I hunted the doll. Yeah. oh my god I would have been nice, but something like that. I don't even know what point that would make It just would be cool. I'm gonna give you one guess. Yeah, if this woman is wider not oh She's one thousand. Yeah, of course, dude. Of course. I'm picturing how old was she? Oh, she's got to be in her late 60s early early to mid 70s. Oh died right here No, no, what I mean you're getting close. Yeah, I get close. She like I said she's been nice. She's been nice ever since no glasses ever since she's been really nice
Starting point is 00:24:34 We've never had any more hiccups, but I had a fucking lay the law down. Right. Yeah, you know what I'm saying and them in the most like fucking Dad way I could and back I afterwards she's like, we have the serious woman every day. And I was like, yeah, like, she's gonna keep talking shit unless you fucking put the kabash on it. Yeah. And the kabash was put. Right, it was right on.
Starting point is 00:24:56 I understand, yeah. Anyway, we do have sponsors for today. The first one being liquid IV. Liquid IV is going to keep you hydrated, okay? And you're gonna need need it, alright? Because most of this country and the world is not properly hydrated. And liquid IV has three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink. No artificial sweeteners and zero sugar.
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Starting point is 00:26:25 there's like standard stuff, but there's also seasonal recipes, like I said before. So you can make really cool stuff. They have barbecue pulled pork nachos, which is incredible. Mini pumpkin cheesecake, stuff like that. Okay, look, this says apple cider cake with caramel sauce. Caramel sauce, I'm in.
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Starting point is 00:27:05 So get to it folks. Go try that Hello for Edge, it's incredible. All right now, it's my turn to talk about Patreon. Patreon.com slash the base video, I'd listen folks. We got over 26,000 patrons, which makes my heart in a very healthy way, skip a beat, okay? Nothing you gotta worry about. I'm not gonna die before Joey, maybe hopefully who knows.
Starting point is 00:27:27 You can go to patreon.com and you can join today because listen, they updated their page. Now if you're unable to commit to the first tier, second tier, third tier, whatever you would like to commit to, you can join for free. You can see little previews of all the things that you're missing out on. You get to see exactly what it is. It's like the little dipipping your toe in the water. So go dip your toe in Joey's water on patreon.com slash the basement yard Where you sign up for that first tier you get these are you could have a so it's one week in advance one whole week So everyone else is on you know, oh man like I watch the episode. It's currently on YouTube
Starting point is 00:27:59 No, no, you got the week right before maybe and then Yeah, Fridays we try to tell you, it's ridiculous, ridiculous, big ol' bunculus, okay? You get exclusive episodes every single Friday morning so you can start and end your week with the Basement Yard. We got some really cool exclusive stuff coming for our patrons and then, I don't wanna say too much, but go check it out, patreon.com.
Starting point is 00:28:24 So that's the Basement your name, thanks for getting this in 26. Let's keep rockin' and rollin' baby. Let's keep gettin' to 27, 28, 29, 30. Hey, maybe even 40 one day, all right? patreon.com slash the base of your name. Joe, back to you. Is it back to me?
Starting point is 00:28:37 It's back to you. Do you want me to take it back? No, but I do wanna talk about, before the show, you said that Joe Biden's brother brother Joe Biden's brother posted a dick on the internet. Yeah, so I've been looking for it all morning Can't find this hog, but Frankie's a he's got a fucking Bologna pony listen this guy is Walking around with just fucking you know like you know, there's people out there with pickle balls. He's full tennis Yeah, yeah full tennis out there. know, there's people out there with pickables. He's full tennis. Yeah, yeah. Full tennis out there.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Yeah, he's got a whole ham sandwich, doesn't he? He's got a just a giant dome bum bummed. I didn't even... I didn't even know that Joe Biden had a brother one. Yeah, me neither. And two, you say the most dumb grinder. First of all, name. I believe it was posted on a gay dating site.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I don't want to say grinder, you know. I'm not confirming that it's grinder. That's the gay one. They might get upset. Like, no, no, no, not us. It was the other one. Why is grinder named grinder, you know, I'm not confirming that it's right. Okay, one they might get upset like no No, not us. It was the other one. Why is grinder named grinder by the way? Did the gay dudes grind a lot? I think dude everyone grinds dude sex is just wet grinding think about it think about it I Guess you're right. I am very right
Starting point is 00:29:39 Grindigan mashing Mushy top. Oh Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin You know Well the White House half a pound of pursuit listen Quarter pound quarter past less than I know half pounds a lot though Joey Oh, yeah, it's a lot like it's like two packs. I mean, I don't know a lot though More than you and I got working with damn Joe Biden can't catch a break to listen his son has a giant weiner his brother Does he have a giant? He's got he's working. He's working well. I know he does a lot of like crack and hookers and stuff. Yeah, but he's doing well, isn't he? He's doing well.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Good for him. That means that Joe Biden's probably got a fucking he-hombs. Makes you think of the leader of the free world, you know what I'm saying? Like, I will say, it's good. You could say what you want about presidents. Yeah. And political discourse. It's good to have a say what you want about presidents and political discourse.
Starting point is 00:30:46 It's good to have a president that's just fucking got a package again because all accounts from what we've heard from people maybe Trump is as you know locked cocked and ready to jok as some other people. Oh, didn't what's her name? What's her name? That's her name. No, but what is that woman's name? I'm not gonna say it. Just I don't want to get stormy Daniel. There it is. He said it. Good job. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Shurades. Yeah, stormy Daniel said that he liked like Trump like to get spanked or he had like a little dick or something. Yeah, probably both. I can't confirm that she could like actually said it because you know there's like NDAs and stuff out there. How do you like in spanked? I don't think I've ever been spanked and no one's ever spanked your butt. Oh like out like not in a sexual way, Joe. No but like if I have hands move. I've never been in a situation where I could be spanked. Like in the conversation.
Starting point is 00:31:38 You're on top. You're your butts right there. And if Becca would have reached around and spanked my ass, I would get out, and I'd say, let's talk about what just happened before we continue. Why? That's weird. I mean, I'm not over here being like,
Starting point is 00:31:52 you know, spank my shit red. I will say your boy got the most spankable ass on this side of the Mississippi. So then why you were like, depriving the world of the spankable. Sometimes you don't need to figure out, like there are certain answers to the universe we don't need. So you're on no, no, hi, need, guys.
Starting point is 00:32:06 No, hi, need, no nippies. No, nipple, no, hi, need. No, nipples, no, hi, need. You wanna know Becca asked me to pump my nipples? Dude, you should have hopped all over that. I need to think of that. Yo, because if you do it for long enough, maybe nipple come out, right?
Starting point is 00:32:20 Yeah, watch this, watch. You watching? I'm watching. Absolutely not. I think that's true. She goes, cause you know, she has a goal it she wants to breastfeed for a certain amount of time she's still breastfeeding incredible and she said like On the last day will you like sit here and pump your nipples and I said no
Starting point is 00:32:38 What forget the last day now what dude? Just fucking you're pumping your nippies. What's wrong? What's wrong? I want to know what would happen. I'll bring the pump and you can pump your own nipples I'm not putting your wife's pulp on my nipples. Joey. We clean the thing You think we just sit there. I'm not worried about that. I would feel uncomfortable giving it back here I just pumped nipples. Oh watch this now go feed your fucking children watch this you fucking clean it again, Joey Or after she's done with it, if she doesn't donate it, which I don't think you can even do, maybe we'll just... There's hand me down.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Oh, that makes sense. I would say so. Maybe we'll bring it in and you can just pump yours. Or a manual pump. We can get manual pumps? They're not expensive. No, I want the machine. I want machinery to pump. You want machine pumps? Yeah, I want to be... My machine. What would you do, it would like if I started
Starting point is 00:33:26 making if I started making milk ruin my ruin my world what you're happy first of all if I if I pump and I make some milk you have to drag it oh no I'm not drinking my wife's breast milk why am I drinking my coasts go goose what am I go go I'm sure there are stories and men producing that's what you're Go goes! Why am I go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go- Potentially induced lactation in men. Fuck! Bro, we just gave you those lactation cookies. Give you a couple cookies, you might start fucking milking. Wait, there's cookies that make you... M-milk? Yeah, there's lactation cookies and shit. Oh, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I should know that. Well, Shannon's lactation. Oh, okay, I was just gonna say, oh, but... Ask Shannon! Ask Shannon what happens if we pump your nipples long enough. I think you might start bleeding. Didn't you got to drink my blood? Um, watch this.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Again, are you watching it again? I got to take two for you to watch. No. I've had bloody nipples before. Oh, yes. I've had. No one's ever sucked on my nipples, and I promise you. I've had my nipples sucked, but like, as a joke. What?! What do you mean? That is a wild statement to just fucking flash from the pan right there. Dude, what do you mean? Who was joking wild statement to just fucking just flash with the pan right there.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Dude, what do you mean? Who was jokingly sucked on your nipples, Joey? What do you mean? What? Don't do this! Don't gaslight me here, like this is not insane. Who was jokingly sucked on your nipples? Bro. Fucking, you're laying with your shirt off.
Starting point is 00:35:01 What are you shocked about? I'm shocked that you let someone jokingly suck on your nipples Why didn't know it was gonna happen? I'll hold on let's what level of sucker we going at like enough to like fucking like if a baby wanted a feed Tump no, I've never been breastfed upon so I don't know. Oh, okay. Thank you. It was like a joke Joey this is a comedy Joe. She's not a comedy joke. Yeah, this is not comedy. This is not comedy at all This is weird. It wasn't like I'm gonna pinch him and then it wasn't like that like a cat Was it was it before was a proceeding or followed by any sexual? Oh, it was like you watching TV that makes it worse Joey I'm like freaking out here. I don't know you just hate hate nipples. I do I'm not don't don't I love
Starting point is 00:35:47 Other nipples not mine. That's what I meant not mine my nipples Why do you hate your nipples? I just don't like them dude? I don't want to like the look of them don't like the look don't like the taste don't like the touch don't like any of it You've tasted your nipples. Everyone's tasted their own nipples dude. No, they have jokingly lick your own nipples Come on, I'm gonna do that Maybe I haven't tasted it, but maybe I've done like oh, I've done this Come on Yeah, come on you jokingly taste your own nipples. I mean I I assume just like skin
Starting point is 00:36:21 Now there's a nipple taste you know, it's not a nipple. There's a nipple taste No boobs just taste like boobs. It tastes like skin. Now there's a nipple taste. You know that. There's a nipple taste. No, boobs just taste like boobs. Boops taste like skin. I'm not even saying boobs. I'm just saying your own nipples. There's a nipple taste. I doubt it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Do you think? No, no. Nope. Go for it. Do you think like brown or nipples taste? Your voice gave out because I want to do that. To not tell. My mind's like stop, like stopped, stopped, like, women of color. People like BPC during this conversation.
Starting point is 00:36:52 Yeah, right, that's what I mean. I don't wanna offend the Nipples. The OCs. Indigenous Nipples. Well, this got to be, babe. There's a little, you know, you gotta, I mean, you have to imagine that different types and nipples taste different. Because there's different stuff coming out of skin.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Well, yeah, that, I mean, then you get into like, it's like a fingerprint, everyone's different, but like, I would assume that like Spanish nipples are, there's definitely more like cilantro lime on there. Again, I can, I can say this stuff. I can say it. Okay, well, you come here. You come here, I mean, like,
Starting point is 00:37:23 what's on your nipples, bitch? Potatoes, I don't know. Yeah, just like a fucking like,. I can say it. Okay, well, come here. What's on your nipples, bitch? Potatoes, I don't know. Yeah, just like a fucking like assault. That's it. Unseason nipples. You've tasted your own nipples, dumbass. A little, not great. What was that tell you?
Starting point is 00:37:38 Oh my dumb! You're having people sucking your nipples in the funny, hey, you know what'd be a real hilarious gag? No one's having. Fucking lick me up. No one's having. No one's having You know what's having it? The weird dude no one's happy very weird. No, it's weird dude. All right. Can I joke? Can I joke and leave suck on your nipples?
Starting point is 00:37:55 What makes you think exactly exactly because it's not a joke if it would be if it was a joke It'd be hilarious if I sucked your nipples But I'm not going to because it's not a joke. It's sexual and it's weird You need to be more if it's such a fucking joke Let me suck your nipples right now. Frankie. Let me do it two two questions one First is in a question. No, two. Would you do that? Now you wouldn't do
Starting point is 00:38:22 Would you do that? No, you wouldn't do it. Time is it. 3,000 patrons. Frank sucks my nipple. 150,000 patrons? Oh my god. I just thought of a funny one. What?
Starting point is 00:38:34 If we got to 30,000 patrons, we flip a coin. Whoever it lands on has to get their nipple pierced. Oh, watch this. Third watch. You ready? Three times a watch. That's. Oh, watch this. Third watch, you ready? Three times a watch. And that's how we eight watched this, final. No, because I'll do you one better.
Starting point is 00:38:52 I got my grumble waxed. Yeah, yeah. So it's gotta be you. To be fair, I got pelted with an egg, which the world never saw. I actually saw a video on my phone the other day. Two, there wasn't no one on the video too Right to two
Starting point is 00:39:07 To my defense That was your idea and you signed up for it Fair This is your idea Sign yourself up You want people to suck your nipples as it is So you might as well just let them fucking pierce it Which one would you get though?
Starting point is 00:39:20 Would you get like the bull nose? Or would you get like a bar? Watch this Stop saying watch this Not no one's touching my nipples dude whether for fucking pleasure work Nothing work. Yeah piercing them. That's what's a job for people Never tell you when I was in high school my girlfriend's best friend got her nipple pierced Oh, and showed you and you're like I don't see this she was like oh she got her nipple pierced
Starting point is 00:39:44 You want to see I was like no she's like no, I said it's okay. And I was like, oh, still no. Absolutely not. Why didn't you want to see it though? Because I could, you don't want to see a freshly pierced nipple, dude. What? Oh, that was why? I thought it was something like, I would imagine. I would imagine. Clearly, you can tell this someone packing I got here with nipples. Imagine I would imagine clearly you can tell this someone packing I got here with nipples. I I would imagine gonna be all red and red and yeah Like like swollen and like maybe a little like dried up blood Right, I don't want to see all that nice. Here's a question. I got for you. Okay. Serious one too. Oh You have your you're all right. You're not a woman has her breasts A woman has her breasts. Frankie, talk like a person.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Please stop. A woman has breasts. A woman has her nipples pierced. Yeah. And then she starts lactating. Is it coming out like fucking like you like you put your finger on a fountain? Yeah, like you're peeing after sex.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it coming out like that or is it still just like kind of got one where to go? I think that maybe it comes out with two holes Because you got you got it like you got it great if you had twins or three holes, maybe well you got two boobs Yeah, then you could feed six children like like a bunch of dogs hear me out. Oh my god This is gonna be a really good bad idea. This is a good bad idea. Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:03 Copyright TM we got the patent working on it and everything. This is OK. Nipple covers. Let me the man tell you about a good invention for breastfeeding women. Guys, you're good. Women, listen up. Open up.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Hey, women, listen up to this man. I figured it out for you. A nipple cover that has multiple like hoses on it so you can breastfeed multiple kids from one boob. You have two boob's. Yeah, but like one of them maybe doesn't work as well as the other. That happens. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:40 You know. So like it has a hose on it. So it has like one nipple here, one nipple there one nipple there. So you can have Potentially up to three sucking on your tits at the same time. How are you gonna hold three babies? No, yeah, I think that I think the thigh and the arms you know If this is kind of alarming was you have to know that's not possible because you have children. It makes me feel like you've never held children before if you think you could hold three
Starting point is 00:42:09 from your nipple. Listen to me right now. Also, do you know how hard it is sometimes for babies to latch onto nipples? Very, very hard, yeah. So you're going to get a double latch on one nip. I mean, sometimes you can get a double latch on one nip, absolutely. Is it possible? Is it possible? When hamsters drink out of that thing, I actually love watching hamsters drink.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I gotta be honest, it sounds very appealing. That little metal ball in there, it's like a ballpoint pen of water. Oh, there's a metal ball in there? That's how it works. I thought it was just like a, oh, you're an idiot. Yeah, that's what you're telling me. That's what I am saying.
Starting point is 00:42:42 That's what you're telling them too. It's like a ballpoint pen and like, there's a little metal ball and they push the ball and the water drips out. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. That's why it doesn't triple in them. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Really? I do like watching gerbils drink stuff. I love watching them just shove stuff in their mouth. You know what I did? Where they're just like, fucking, and they got like 13 fucking like nuts in their mouth. I do like watching Squirrels E too. Oh, they're like, they're like so quick. Dude in their mouth. I do like watching squirrels eat too, like they're like so quick dude. I love like slow down dude. It's fucking very
Starting point is 00:43:11 supposed to eat that. The animals eat so fast probably because they think they're gonna get murdered That's the one like like a chicken. He just like Like it's fucking man. I don't fuck with roosters dude because of that I've fed a rooster and I'm like bro, you're gonna put a hole in my hand. Well, chickens roosters, tomato, tomato, ones got a dick. I do like feeding llamas. Oh, we went to an alpaca farm not long ago. I did too.
Starting point is 00:43:33 Those dumb idiots, just like they're fucking to shitty mouth, and like they're just like. They only have one row of teeth. What do you fucking George Washington? That's smart, yeah. What is that? Yeah, they are George Washington. And they look like every, yeah, they are George Washington and they look like every yeah
Starting point is 00:43:45 They look all fucked up. I like them now. I like them, but like I feel bad for him bro. There was some fat fucking pigs there pigs pigs dude. I Like pigs I wouldn't want one though. Ah, I might you want a pig? I might want a pig I can't deal with the squealing I like a squeal if they think they're gonna get hurt, Joey. Not squeal, because they're talking. No, the talking is like, that's not great either. That's cuter than a squeal.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah, the squeal. Yeah, I hate that. Oh, do you remember years ago, there was that video of that fucking pig-calling competition? Yes, I do. The whites need a stop, too. Yeah, like, if you're bored just like go on the internet or something. I literally do anything other than what you've done for the last
Starting point is 00:44:30 four hundred years. Take a job. It hasn't worked. Yeah. Are you would you be good at it? Get to the ad first. Get to the ad first. Yeah. Because what I was about to ask you is the dumbest thing. And it was like such a redirect. Just get to the ad first, and then we'll get, we'll get Dumber. We've got Seaky here. Seaky, first of all, I've spent a lot of money on Seaky in the past few days because the range of season is starting, and I'm like, I'm going to a bunch of games.
Starting point is 00:44:55 And then next as well. But Seaky, 28 million downloads, okay? It's the number one rated ticketing app in the app store. This is where you're gonna buy all your tickets. You wanna go to a sporting event you want to go to a concert or anything like that You're gonna want to do it with sea geek. I love using their app because I know when I'm getting a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket Okay, a dark green ticket. That's a great price for where you sit, okay? so Yeah, go go download sea geek and go to this good one nice game
Starting point is 00:45:24 You like I said if you're in New York the Rangers are common the next are common the the nets are common so You know you can start going to all these games B. S. Go check them out And also we're gonna get you we're gonna save you some money here you get use the code basement You get $20 off a ticket of your first tickets at Seeky with Seeky With the promo code basement again you download the app put in the promo code basement and you'll get $20 off of your first tickets at Seeky with Seeky with the promo code basement. Again, you download the app, put in the promo code basement, and you'll get $20 off of your first purchase with that promo code, okay?
Starting point is 00:45:52 There are more than 70,000 events every single day on Seeky, including concert, sports, festivals, you know, whatever. But yeah, so lots to choose from. Everything's gonna be in your area. You seek eek when you do it. $20 off your first purchase with the promo code basement, so get outside and go enjoy something. And lastly here we have price picks,
Starting point is 00:46:13 which is seemingly the only money that I'm winning these days because whenever I'm betting usually, it's just not well. So I've kind of given it up and I'm sick to price picks. But it's it's a lot of fun and you can run up to 25 times your money with price picks. So how it works is it's sports and you can they have every sport they have you know NBA NHL NFL like whatever you want and they just work on projection. So let's say someone like Patrick Mahomes is he gonna throw over 250 yards this game.
Starting point is 00:46:45 Is it going to be more or less than 250 yards? So his projection is 250 yards. Is it more or less? You pick that and you do that for a couple of players and you can do it for, you know, wide receivers running back, whatever it is. And if you hit all of them, or if you hit your bet,
Starting point is 00:47:00 you can win up to 25 times your money, depending on how much you put in. But you could turn $10 into $250 in just a few steps. It doesn't take a lot of time to put in these entries. It's easy to understand. It's just more or less than the projection. Then you watch the games that makes it a lot more interesting. I enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:47:16 And I seem to be doing well at that. So I'm going to stick with that until the wheels fall off. And right now, you can go to prysepakes.com slash basement and use the code basement for a first deposit match up to $100, which just means if you put in 50 bucks, they'll put in 50 bucks. If you put in 100, they'll put in 100. So then you'll have 200 to play with like that up to $100, like I said. So go to prizepix, prizepix.com slash basement and use the code basement for a first deposit match up to $100. Okay? There you go, folks. So what were you going to ask? I was going to ask you if you think you'd be good at a pie eating contest.
Starting point is 00:47:53 You can't use your hands. No, I don't like pie. We've discussed this. I don't like pie. Not a pie guy. What do you like? What can you eat a lot of? Pizza, hot dogs, pizza. Chicken wings, a carbel ice cream cake. Chicken wings? You could get hurt though. Chicken wings? Yeah, like, if you're eating chicken wings that quickly, how many chicken wings you can think you can eat in one shot?
Starting point is 00:48:19 What's my time limit? Mm, two hours. 50 or sixty? Holy shit. Yeah. I have a problem where I can eat non-stop. I can eat non-stop. I don't know about fifty.
Starting point is 00:48:31 I like legitimately, I'm always ready to eat. Like even when I'm done and I'm like, well I'm stuffed, I'm ready, I can eat more. Yeah. I just, I don't know, like I just, I'm an eating machine. I don't know what it is. Well that's where human beings are, right? Yes, yes, yes. But like I can eat like this,
Starting point is 00:48:52 like I can black out and wake up and like, oh, fucking like 20 wings are gone. Wow. Yeah, I'm a pretty monster. You're a pretty monster. I'm a pretty much a monster. That's what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you said you're a pretty monster.
Starting point is 00:49:04 I would think I'm pretty, much a monster, that's what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you said you were a pretty monster. I would think I'm pretty a pretty monster too. Okay. But what about you? I ate four slices of pizza the other day, like no problem. The only reason why I stopped is because I was like, I should. Yeah, exactly. And that's why I stopped too.
Starting point is 00:49:21 I'm like, I need to stop. I was like, this is stupid, I should stop. I can eat a whole pizza pie like a large pizza pie without without Linking they were grandma slices. Oh They're wet. Yeah, yeah, whether wet with the wet. I love that I fucking love grandma's life Yeah, I need you I've started a new diet and I need you to stop talking about pizza because it's gonna fuck me up Are you doing like one of the what it's one are you doing? I'm just doing like kind of my own thing. I'm just limiting my fat and caloric and taking stuff
Starting point is 00:49:49 like that, sweet. Yeah, but pizza. Pizza, yeah. Pizza, hot dogs. I can't eat that many hot dogs. Pigs in a blanket. Maybe a thousand. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:50:01 You can't like someone recently I saw and they were like, can you eat 20 tortillas and they were like can you eat 20 tortillas and it was like no and they were like what if I chop them up and fry them and it's like oh You then yeah, and I absolutely can same thing with hot dogs what if what three pigs is one hot dog? Is it I would say three pigs is a hot dog because they're like this long each yeah, I guess so Yeah, don't yeah, don't put that up to me. Yeah, yeah. So I can eat without, I can eat a whole box of 50 pigs in a blanket
Starting point is 00:50:33 and maybe live to tell the tale because that cholesterol will be fucking jumping. It'll be a through the roof, you have for sure. Yeah, that's another food that like, usually you only have that at like parties or like cocktail hours and the only reason Why I'm stopping is because I know that other people want something. Yeah same absolute same. I don't like Don't put food around me and expect me to act like normal especially hot dogs I went recently to like two things that there were hot dogs there and I had to like play it cool
Starting point is 00:51:05 Like I had to like be cool. Like I didn't wanna, I went chill. I brought my, I brought Miles to one of his classmates, Berthes and he was like, oh we're just gonna do like, you know, the kids will have like pizza and we're just gonna do like hot dogs hamburgers. You cool with that?
Starting point is 00:51:18 And I had to just be like, yeah, you know, I good. My, my, you know, I good. My nephew, I don't, it wasn't, was it his birthday? I don't know. Whoever's birthday it is, not the part of the story. I think the people want to hear it. Sorry, but it was at this thing on Long Island, where it's like one of those places where it's like a basically a big play pen for children.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Yeah. And they ordered pizza. Now, there's 20 children. Yeah. And they ordered pizza. Now there's 20 children. I'm talking two years old. Yeah. Two to three years old. Not gonna eat that much. And I'm like, okay.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Obviously they're gonna go 16. So they're gonna cut this thing to 16. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let the kids get their fucking pizza. Then I'm like, when can I really be an adult about this? Yeah, 100%. And start eating a thousand slices. I don't know if it's because of the way I'm like, when can I really be an adult about this? Yeah, 100%. And start eating a thousand slices. I don't know if it's because of the way I'm wired.
Starting point is 00:52:09 If a pizza is cut into 16s, like, school party pizza, one bite, and I'm ready for more. Frankie, I can probably, like, yeah. If it's cut into 16s, I may not stop eating it. Yeah. Like, it may keep going, I could keep going, maybe. A legit, I'm the exact same way. And I want to dump something on it, like it may keep go I could keep going. Yeah legit. I'm the exact same way and I want to dump something on it Like oil or something. No, just a little fresh, you know a little powdered garlic. I'm good with that
Starting point is 00:52:31 Palmer John oh So there's something that came out that I think we should end on Do we have time to to end on the what came out the accents? Oh? Yeah, so people tag me on this in Twitter. Yeah, so there's a new study that came out that was done by someone British. So we hate the miscellaneous. And it seems like that is kind of politically charged. What is the fact that the British did this? Of course they're gonna hate us. Yeah, they don't. We fucking dipped on them, you know, we left them at the altar. So it was a study on
Starting point is 00:53:07 the, oh, I think it was a toast. It might not have been the British. What's blaming them though? Okay. It was the fucking British. It was the goddamn British. Yeah. But it's the attractiveness of certain accents. The story that was sent to us, which is the reason it made headlines, it was New York was given the worst accent. At least attractive accent in the world. Wild. Yeah, I would say that. Because it's not the accent that people hate,
Starting point is 00:53:37 it's the characterization, the caricature of it. Everyone thinks it's just some fucking, you know, you know, tank top wearing, gold chain, Newsy hat, Italian from Brooklyn just be like, oh, New York, yeah, like that's not what it is. Normal people like us, like it's just certain words, coffee, chocolate. I can't say ask. You just did.
Starting point is 00:54:01 I know, but I can't say it in a sentence. I say X. Oh, well, that's not because you're an idiot. Well, no, I just like to like get through it. It's way easier to say X. Yeah, no, I'm gonna ask you something. But that's just, that's wild. I don't think, and I know we're biased
Starting point is 00:54:17 because we're from New York. Right. But people love New Yorkers because of the accent. You know, like, oh, forget about it. Like, no one thinks that's at least attractive. I know anyone who sounds like that to be honest. So I have all of the accent, you know, like, oh, forgot about it. Like, no one thinks that's Lisa Tractor. I don't even know anyone who sounds like that, to be honest. So I have all of the findings here. So we already went over the Lisa Tractor accents,
Starting point is 00:54:32 number one being New York. What do you think number two is? Boston. Yes, 100%. Nailed it. Got it correct. That accent is number one worse than the world for me. Uh, it's up there with me, I hate it.
Starting point is 00:54:43 Yeah. It's the funniest one to me though. I just, I could sit and listen to fucking, it's garbage. The toss and accent. It's garbage. I wouldn't, I'm sorry, garbage. Yeah, I mean, I just, I just think it's so funny. Number three least attractive, American Midwestern.
Starting point is 00:55:01 N-Nudid. What's that? Midwest, isn't that like- The Midwest is like, oh, like we're going to get some soda and like, oh like Chicago? Like, yeah, Chicago. What am I thinking of? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:13 That's why I had southern life. No, that's not, okay. So it's like North Dakota's pretty bad. Oh, North Dakota. North Dakota, like there. What a, yeah, it's real cold. It's real cold up in here. Can we get cold up in here?
Starting point is 00:55:24 I was sitting there drinking my soda. Yeah, it's real cold up in here. Can't really call it here. I was sitting there drinking my soda. Yeah, it's really cold. And I was thinking it's cold down here. Yeah, I mean, a garage, you know, drinking beer by myself. That sucks. Yeah, it's pretty bad. Number four, Canadian. What's a Canadian accent?
Starting point is 00:55:38 Just like a old aboot. I mean, if you have a deep one, it's probably pretty bad. Well, it's like French, because a lot of Canada was colonized by the French, so it would be like French Canadian. Like Montreal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number five, American Southern. Pretty bad. Yeah, it's not great.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Pretty bad. Because I used to think of the country bumpkin like... Oh, no, no, no. I think that I... Oh! No, no, no, go! That's how they sound though, you know? They...
Starting point is 00:56:04 They... they do they, they, they, they, they, they do. Have a way with words because I feel like they just like make stuff up and somehow it makes sense. It's like, oh, that's as easy as skipping a rock going back up a tit. Well, you know, you know what mama used to say, it's not about size of your fence around your house is about how you're gonna skin that porcupine.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Yeah, and you're like, how does that make sense? I think people like the whole country, like Southern, like I'm a cowboy, and I'm a little concerned, and rail, hate them both. I mean, I don't mind that, but I feel like people are underestimating that, when you actually go to the deep parts of the South, there's just people who sit on their porch
Starting point is 00:56:43 and have sex with their family. Yeah, that's just like, that's parts of the country. It's just true though. It is quite true. Number six, least attractive accent, Spanish. Huh? And it has the Spain flag here, but like even so, I wouldn't put any Spanish.
Starting point is 00:57:01 I think Spanish is the top. I would say Spanish has got to be like one of the more attractive ones. Yeah. Number seven, German. That's pretty rough. I think it's Russian, because that's not even in the top. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Not even listed here. German and Russian. Number eight is Yorkshire, which I think is like the fucking like heavy like like if I'm not mistaken, I think that's like the soccer pool in UK. Oh, you're brumming brum. You just sound like Shrek. That's Scottish, you're right.
Starting point is 00:57:30 What else? Just start rattling them off. All right, but that's the least attractive that I listed here. Oh, okay. Number, the most attractive Italian. Number eight, brummy. Don't know what that is.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Number seven, Welsh. Okay. I don't know, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Number six, brummy? Don't know what that is. Number seven, Welch. Okay. I don't know, I wouldn't be able to tell you number six, Italian. Interesting. I could see, but like Italian, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, yeah, it does flow. It has a flow. It sounds like singing. Number five French. All right. How is this? I guess I don't know how people are attracted by French people at all.
Starting point is 00:58:11 I see it, but then also I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I don't really. Number four Irish. Are we okay? Listen, the Irish? That's an attractive language. I guess some people. I don't hate it, but like, bro, you're not in the top five. What are you fucking kidding me?
Starting point is 00:58:30 Number three, London. London, I love that. I do like London, but I think people are just like, they're confused because they think it's like, they're all smart, which I've heard they're all dumb. I do like the London accent a lot though. Number two, Scottish. Are we not
Starting point is 00:58:45 That's a wild because it's not attractive. It's violent if anything You know what I'm saying free of You know and like what are the women sound like Come on, what is this? You know, Scottish being number two is bananas. Number one, Australian? I guess. I like it. But it's just like a cool London.
Starting point is 00:59:14 I can't even, don't even ask me to do, like, oh, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna dress your, your. I don't even know how to do it. But yeah, I don't know. I, I like the Australian accent. I don't mind it. Oh, Scottish being up there is bananas.
Starting point is 00:59:26 All right, now they broke it down by most attractive female accents and most attractive male accents. Number one for both Australian. People love the Australian. Most attractive female, number two London. I guess. Yeah, yeah, I would say that. Elizabeth Hurley, you know, like,
Starting point is 00:59:42 I know that was a big one for you. Yeah. Big, but dazzled guy over here. Yeah. Number two for most attractive male, Irish. Okay. I don't get it. I, I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:59:55 I don't, maybe it's just me being a piece of shit American. I think that it's like, it's decent, but I don't think that it's too, like I just, I think, I don't, I can't, I don't know, I think that it's too, like I just... I think... I don't, I can't... I don't know, I just see it as too like... I can't, I can't see this attract... But I guess it's, I'm not finding men attractive, so... Doesn't matter to me.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Number three, attractive female is Scottish. I can't with this shit. Number three, most attractive male, Welsh. Four and five for a female is Brummy and French. What the fuck is brummy? I don't know and I don't like English type of shit I'm sure it is and then Scottish and French for the male most seductive accent Top three Number one French. I guess they're very horny. They're like oh
Starting point is 01:00:41 I guess. They're very horny. They're like... Oh, they always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to...
Starting point is 01:00:51 They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to...
Starting point is 01:00:59 They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... Because the arts, you know, they be like, or like, I'm not gonna give them the pre-d comments, do your worst. TikTok, do your worst TikTok do your worst you do it be like
Starting point is 01:01:27 Or you want me to fucking finger your ass do you Come here choppy What do they say? I can't see them being not loud Be like I want to show you something yeah, I want to fuck your Fuck you. Yeah, those are those fucking freak you're doing. Yeah, I don't know. I can't really see that happens Just eating haggis and whatever. What's that? Yeah? And that was a question. It has most beautiful accents, most charming accents, and most romantic too. Pretty much.
Starting point is 01:02:07 That's all like the same thing. Yeah, French, Australian, Spanish are pretty much across the board included, including Scottish. I guess people are more into Scottish. I'm very confused. New York being the least is... Go to Scotland next year, so maybe. Wild thing that New York is the least
Starting point is 01:02:33 Yeah, I mean I get I mean I didn't and I generally I knew American was gonna be in there like some form of American I would say like oh Excuse me. I hate like I hate like what like L.A. California English way worse Yeah, like like like like the Valley girl. Valley girl. And like surgery, bro That's actually pretty fucking Bob Sainly intellectual. Yeah, like pretty fucking gnarly. I think it's pretty fucking chill But you're not like everything is a question. Yeah, like even the most obvious statements We're oppression is like fucking not chill at all. Yeah, like who, like I hate people that are just like not about like loving their others.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Like a different vibe. Yeah. I'm not on a racist vibe. Well, yeah, like don't, I can't. I don't like that. American accents, a New York would be, I would say it's up there. I'd say there is like people wanting to do this by a New Yorker. It really depends.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Where you go. It's like, yo, you fucking like the Yankees bitch? Yeah, right. So fucking big. You want a fucking baking name and cheese? So, pick it up. So, pick it up. Anyway.
Starting point is 01:03:39 Well, you know, in all those videos where it's like that guy is like, oh, make my sandwich the ocky way. Yeah. I was in Brooklyn the other day. And I was on I was looking at a map because I was looking at I was like looking for this place. That was like near me and They that person like that dude is a lucky okey. It the deli is called okey way. Yeah, they completely rebranded it now completely rebranded it and it's like his thing now. Yeah, he's like they probably And I'm pretty sure I saw a tick-tock also like their sandwiches are like 18 bucks now. Yeah, and also Gross and it was like yo, let me get a fucking like let me get a French toast the ocky way and it's like okay
Starting point is 01:04:19 Here let's start off with like ham and it's like whoa Whoa, and it's like then mozzarella sticks I'm like I'm having a lot of sound maggot. It's like I'm gonna chicken par with fruit loops and pancakes here But I'm like I want to get it though. No, no, no, no, not me. Yeah, I don't know but you know There's what it is anyway Frank. Where can they find you if I was at 85 on Twitter? The Frank Alvarez on all of the forms of social media and go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement You can find the basement yard at the basement yard on all forms of social media and go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. You can find the Basement Yard at the Basement Yard on all forms of social media.
Starting point is 01:04:46 You can find Joe at Joe Sanagato. And everything we do here at Sanagato Studios all across the internet, we love keeping it fresh, funky, and cute for you. So, cute. Yeah, Joey. Follow me at Joe Sanagato on TikTok and Instagram and that is all.
Starting point is 01:05:01 See you guys next time. Oh man, what'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do? I went like this? I went like that. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:10 That was bad. Well, that's actually okay. That's uh... That's like... Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Don't worry.
Starting point is 01:05:18 Just put this down and it becomes something way worse. It's not eight-haw. It's okay.

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