The Basement Yard - #421 - The Worst Accent In The world
Episode Date: October 23, 2023Nah fam... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the basement.
You're the best.
You're the best.
Welcome back to the basement.
You are Frank. How's it going?
I'm doing it. I'm sorry about my chief.
Sorry about that.
Let's scrub that clean.
Because I know why you said that.
Because right before this started,
you were talking about how much you love the idea of smallpox blankets.
Frankie. Jesus Christmas.
Oh, it's been a while. Yeah, I know. I know we're neither of us have any native first nation.
What is it called now?
Native America.
No, I think that's bad.
What is it?
I don't know.
I think indigenous.
I think I don't know.
I think that's offensive to the indigenous.
I'm not quite sure.
That's not even anything.
Indigis.
I don't know.
I recently someone said like Native American
and they were like, uh-uh, first nation.
I don't know what's that.
Like they were the first ones in the nation.
That sounds like a Fox News show.
First nation.
Welcome back to First Nation.
Here's fucking brass tucker-fen, you know.
Just like, oh shit, this is white.
Yeah, but I don't, I really don't know.
I, it's really hard to keep up
Yeah, I mean I use I just I did genus. I don't know I felt really really really bad
I did something really mean recently. I don't know if I could say this I
Could say it I guess yeah, you can I've recently met a little person
Dude I did what you do I didn't, when I started to speak with them,
I like, I bend the shoulders.
I did a little bit.
I like, hands in the thighs are sorority strong.
No, you didn't.
I did a little bit.
I felt really bad and I instantly corrected it
and I felt so embarrassed.
You popped up and you were stretching like,
I was just like, oh, you know,
because I was drinking a beer too at the same time.
So I like, I'm putting a beer?
I don't, can they?
Like, Frankie.
I don't, all right, I don't think they were,
maybe they were, I didn't look, I couldn't see.
Where were you?
It was too far away.
Frankie, this kid's fucked up dude.
That's so foul.
Where were you?
I was at a sporting event.
Oh, and you know, we were talking about, you know, she's saying she's a fan of the show.
I obviously really appreciated it.
Hold on, time out.
The little person you met watches the show?
Yeah.
Are you?
What?
They're gonna see this.
I'm not, what am I, what am I saying?
I don't know. I'm gonna say anything disrespectful
I just uh listen
Time out because I know how you interact with people hold on get dig out of the hole
I think myself do you remember the last time I started speaking a person a color and you went up to them and you were like
Don't don't you you, you buttoned your top button
and unbuttoned all the other ones
and walked up to his Spanish person.
You say, y'all homes, like that's you.
Yeah, that's what I did.
That's what you did, dude.
100%.
Yeah.
No, I, like I've never in person met a little person.
Really?
I've had a little person poor vodka in my mouth.
I remember that person.
I remember that person because.
I've seen that guy get into a fight with people.
Wow, that's like he was like involved in an altercation at the bar.
I remember and I say this as a funny story, but I remember because there was a person
we knew that went to like a nightclub.
And I didn't really even know them, but we see we'd went to this nightclub multiple
times when we were in our our early 20s and teens.
Yeah.
And they were there every time that I had been there,
at least.
Oh, the little person.
And I remember it was a particularly packed night.
And I swear on my children, this is a true story.
I remember looking over and someone was holding the little
person by the waist and passing them like through the crowd. I swear to God. Honestly,
that's got to be one of the perks. Just like throwing over there into the couch.
Crowd surfing is so cool that like even you know rappers who are covered in like chains
and shit that are super expensive,
they're like, I still wanna jump into this crowd of things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, it passed around.
So it's kinda probably, it's probably dope.
It was like, it was like a split second
and I like went in like that when I spoke to the little person
and I felt so bad and embarrassed afterward.
I don't think that that's, you know, bad, it's bad.
I think it's inappropriate.
I think I think the way that you're saying it now
is probably inappropriate, yeah.
How so? Because you're laughing about
First of all that she was so far away that you don't know she was drinking beer and we're making jokes here Joey
No, we're not Frank. This is CNN. Oh, and you're on the news
This is first nation and I'm and I'm a fucking you show
Welcome back to first nation. We have disgraced podcasts. I was Frank Alvarez here. Hey
Frank
You are what is what's the sad? No, no, no, what's the what's is there a word for like being Hispanic? No, what?
I don't know. I don't know I'm not disgraced
You're a disc I did say that.
Oh, okay.
I'm not gonna put this information out there.
She was really, really cool.
We actually talked for a while about stuff, but...
And then you got hammered and you're like, I can't.
I did not get hammered.
I wish I got hammered.
I should have to watch.
You got hammered off the hot dogs.
I heard that.
Listen, don't put me in an environment with hot dogs and beer and not expect a trouble.
One trouble.
One whole trouble to brew.
Yeah, but I feel good.
You just catch up on those things?
And crowd, they had crowd.
Crout me up.
Is that offensive to somebody?
Crout.
That's what people call Germans.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what put like old timey like in the 40s. Yeah, you know
Now Germany is like what is what is that by the way crowd? Yeah, what is that? It's like pickled onion pickled cabbage
I think cabbage cabbage cap um, but I don't know if it's pickled it's my it's like ferment not fermented
But like I don't even know what fermented means really good for you. What does it mean?
Like it's just like like set somewhere. I think yeah
Like you allowed the sugars and yeast to kind of like fucking like finger bang each other
Have that kind of time and there's like good enzymes digestive enzymes. I think I don't know now
We're talking about enzymes. I don't know put your lab coats on
We're talking about enzymes and
Simes Joey. What did I say? M'simes. No, I did not say that. Yes
You did got almighty. We're going to the tape twice today. Okay. We're not even 10 minutes in.
Yeah.
But I feel good.
I feel rested.
I feel happy.
Okay.
I've been sleeping better.
All right.
Do you want me to say what?
Why?
I mean, be appreciative that you know,
you know, I have a young child, multiple young childs at home.
Why, did you finally, you started putting the baby outside?
Is that why?
Not outside basement. God. Under the stairs. Locked from the outside. Is that why? Not outside basement.
God.
Under the stairs.
Locked from the outside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, listen, it's one of one, it's worked.
And he became a great guy, right?
That's true.
So like, kind of, that big fat family definitely, you know,
put a-
Were there the dursleys?
The dursleys definitely put a chip on his shoulder.
Dude, maybe he's not as like, you know, as brave as he was
because he had to deal with his family. Yeah, as brave as he was because he had to deal with his
Fatty and maybe he's better off because he had to sleep with like dust coming down on him anytime his fat ass cousin
Use the stairs exactly. You know what I mean? Yes, dude that kid sucks the dad really pisses me off
Is that the guy in the Santa Claus with who they tape up?
No, it's not I don't know, that's a good question.
Different fat.
I know, like he's since passed away.
Who?
The dad?
The dad?
The big dursely?
Oh really?
Yeah, he passed away.
I think his name was like Richard Griffiths
or something like that.
Damn, dude, him, Hagrid fucking.
Hagrid dipped out.
Dumbledore's gone.
He's so quick and right.
You know who died too? Who?
Remember fucking, um,
uh, mouth voice like,
smoke show mom?
Oh yeah, that's right.
Gone, dude.
Dude, what's going on?
Fucking, I don't know, man.
But, uh, well, the reason I'm in sleep
with better is I've been, um,
I, I, I guess I had a snoring problem.
Mm-hmm.
Are you snoring?
Are you story, boy?
When I'm drunk.
Really?
Only when you're drunk?
No, I like snore, but not consistently.
Like, it'll happen for like 10 minutes
and then I won't.
Oh, wow.
It like started up.
When back in I first started dating,
it like started off as like a once every like six months.
And she'd be like, haha babe, like you snore,
and now it's become like, she kicks me.
And she's like, shut the fuck up.
Shut your fucking mouth.
Yeah, it escalated quick.
Okay.
And I thought it was because, I don't know if,
close your eyes, now open them.
I don't know if you're able to tell,
but why did you make me do that?
Since 2016, 2015, 2014, I've gained some weight.
Oh, okay, yeah.
That's why I had to close your eyes.
Oh, yeah.
Yes, yeah.
And I thought it was because sometimes snoring
could be because of weight gain.
Okay.
So I was like, all right, I'm just gonna go to the gym.
When I started going back to the gym consistently,
snoring stopped.
Oh wow, came right back.
Good, like smoking cigarettes, baby.
It wasn't going nowhere.
Nice, you know.
So I bought the, it's like a mouthpiece.
It's like a mouthguard, like a mouthpiece.
Like, hold on, you're wearing a mouthpiece to bed?
Yeah.
Like an MMA fighter?
Like, yeah.
But like not.
It's like the fucking,
you remember vampires teeth that we had as kids
around Halloween time?
Yeah, I remember vampire teeth.
How it's like, you know, it's like the piece
and it goes on your top and bottom teeth.
I wear that.
Okay.
But there's no teeth on it.
I just look like...
I just pictured you with vampire teeth at that. I'm not. I'm not gonna sit not going to sleep with vampire teeth
So you're sleeping in a mouth. Oh, although when I'm in bed. I'm out for blood. What's good, baby?
That's weird. Yeah, that is
But no, it's like I look like fucking Chris wide Like, I just have like a blue mouthpiece in.
And it's supposed to like extend your bottom jaw a little bit.
So you have more of an airway?
So it helps with like no snoring.
But then you have your mouth just open.
Is it?
Well, no, my mouth is closed.
Oh, well, I've really got a under bite.
A little bit of an under bite.
Like, I wake up and my mouth feels like I was just like,
fucking like getting railed. Well, why would you like a bulldog with like an underbike like I wake up in my mouth feels like I was just like fucking like getting railed well
Why would you like a bulldog with like an underbike a little bit nice?
Which is weird because that kind of underbike kind of runs in my family like I remember my uncle had a pretty pronounced under bite
Diddy yeah, what an idiot? He's dead
Double dumb former idiot
Double dumb former idiot
But does it work it works I stopped snoring you have to wear a helmet
Now these shoulder pads. I don't know come on now. You know this is getting offensive
Okay, but since I've stopped snoring my daughter has
Now been sleeping like kind of almost through the night. Oh, so you were keeping her up.
This kid's coming and complaining.
My daughter's horrible.
She's horrible. She doesn't sleep.
I don't know what it is.
It's you.
You snoring fuck.
Bro, I was, I would wake up in the mornings and Beck would be like, I would tell Beck I'm like,
I'm losing my fucking mind.
What about you, girl?
I was like, I know, Beck up, but like me, you know what I'm saying?
All right.
She's not on the show.
Right, it's just free.
Forget a woman, forget the woman.
Forget the mother whose hormones are just going all over the place.
And she can't sleep because they're fucking husbands beside her.
Oh.
Oh.
Bro, she legit.
What kind of snore are you?
Did she ever record it?
She worked so hard to say she legit one night recorded me was it sound like not good
I thought it was like a cute was it in an outward snore and inward it's a
It's like a deep what's an outward snore?
That's a hawk
Your hawk is a bird you're hawk it up along there. It's hawk not hawk hawk hawk
Joink we grew up in New York bitch. It's Hock, not Hock. Hock, Hock, Hock, Joey. We grew up in New York, bitch.
It's not, it's Hock.
Okay.
It's, uh, I don't know, but some people just sound like, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Polarious I knew some of that legit snored like that dude my dad used to snore and then it would stop I'm like oh he's going to literally dude
We'd be sitting in the living room the sun's out and he's on the couch and he's
And then I'll suddenly be like
And then we would just look at him shit and we're like this could be the time
Cuz people die from sleep happening all the time. Yeah, I'm like just looking at my dad
37 seconds of a gone bite and I'm like,
there's no air in there.
He's turning plurple.
Plurple.
He's turning plurple.
And he's just,
and then it'll just like break, you know what I mean?
I think the concerning part is that you watched
your father not breathe.
What am I gonna do?
Help him breathe.
You wanna go give me CPR to my dad?
Yeah.
Yeah, sounds pretty fucking gay. go give me CPR to my dad? Yeah! Yeah!
I was pretty fucking gay!
You want me to kiss my dad?
Incest and gay!
Listen, I was getting really frustrated with Maeve.
Like, to the point where, I mean, you saw, I would come in
and I'd be like, this fucking kid.
I wish Maeveys could talk.
I, bro, and that's the thing is like, she's finally like,
like yesterday, like, all week, she slept almost,
like, she's had some hiccups here and there,
but she slept almost every day until like 7am.
And like is no longer like waking up as frequently,
you know, like I said, small little, you know.
You're the blind, missed out.
I'm like, I can't, this kid won't fucking save.
And she's waking up to tell me to shut the fuck up.
She's crying, she's like, please and it's just
Yeah, so I feel a little I feel good. Yeah, but guilty. You just need a mouthpiece, but yeah, that's it open her up
You know what's that maybe you have a smaller tongue do you have a big tongue?
It didn't require you to make that face at all,
like a lizard.
I just needed to know.
I also didn't need to see it.
You could have just told me.
But I don't know what's big to you.
Big is it, you know, like what's big to...
It's just big for your mouth.
Like, I mean, is it big for your mouth?
I mean, it fits perfectly in my mouth.
It has my whole life.
I don't know of any other size tongue.
So how would I be able to tell you?
It's fair.
At points, I've had other tongues in my mouth too,
and it's okay, you know what I'm saying?
Whoa, you got room for other tongues.
Damn right, you always got room for other tongues.
Isn't making out so weird?
Dude, love it.
You love it.
Why did the French take that?
Why are the French like,
we just need to have the fucking,
yeah, I don't believe that.
I don't like that shit.
Yeah, but making out is so weird, dude.
Like when you first started making out, isn't that?
Someone, you know someone started with a kiss
and they were just like, let's,
let's go more.
Like let's do more of a kiss.
Yeah, let's like get closer.
Not even just closer,
but let's just shove our tongues down each other's throat.
Yeah, and also like, what do you do once you're in there?
You wiggle around.
Yeah, I know, but like,
you don't wiggle back and forth like a fish, right?
You I mean I just try to like swirl in I think I think I do the twist
You know how like when you see like those baking videos and they fold over the you know like the batter cake batter
Horrible fucking like no, I put my you put the tongue in and you just and then come out just a
You put the tongue in and you just, and then come out. Just a, a gentle, a gentle fold.
Oh, you're flipping a pancake.
A gentle fold in there.
I'm trying, I'm swirling like a cinnamon bun.
Oh, you're like a fucking alligator holding its prey?
I don't know what I do, honestly.
You go in there, you're like,
oh, no, no, I'm not twirling like an alligator.
I don't know if you could do that.
That'd be pretty impressive.
I gotta know.
I know, I'm not doing that.
Show me your, show me your tongue, like when you're making out.
No, I don't know. You're going for, I don't go not doing that. I'm just show me your show me your tongue like when you're making out No, I don't know you're going for I
Don't go that far in oh you go for it. No, no, I'm not trying to like do you you got to go for it
No, I'm not going all the way back there. I just like I usually stay like you know probably like you know
I don't know halfway. I don't forget you know you hang out in the garden
You don't want to go and check out the fuck the face. I'm not in the kitchen. I'm in the fucking living room
You know I'm in the mudroom all right, all right, okay. Yeah. I'm not like you're not just shoving a tongue down it like a
shoved it well
Sometimes if it gets like a little more like you know, oh
Grab and hold on each other and rest. Oh shit, but like oh
Shit, but like a normal like you know like it like you know, uh-uh, you don't know
Oh, I don't you're not saying anything. Well, I'm just right you're going you know
Oh
You know exactly I know I know what I start grams. I know what like
Holders what like this is oh, but you're going like you're fucking like rock them sock them out there that I don't get
No, and then you were putting your hand up and behind someone like you're giving him a pump handle slam
No, I'm not oh no, you put your hand behind something like grab why they this low?
No, you're down here Joey Frank. Yeah, I'm on a fucking podcast here. I'm you want me to I can't go it up
I mean up I don't know you could be it's possible no, it's not possible. I've never kissed a seven foot woman in my life
There was one it was close
There was one it was close
I know seven foot. Oh, sorry six eight. No six ten. I think six foot
No way cuz I'm six foot. I'm dead and she she towered over me. She did not tower
She towered no she didn't dude. She was towering. No, she tried to play it so cool
Like she had no idea who you were all right. We're not she was like, oh, who's this? Who is them? Oh, whatever
All right, I was
You remember this man. I was texting an NFL player from her phone. All right, what?
There's been thousands of NFL players
Yeah, we're NFL players. Yeah.
We're okay, Joey.
Yeah.
I'm gonna say her name.
You don't, do you know her name?
Don't say it though.
Jesus Christ.
There's only so many six foot women out there.
There's only so many Amazonians, you know?
But what were you talking about?
Oh, making out.
Making out.
Yeah.
I remember my eighth grade girlfriend used to make out
very quickly. Oh, and I could not keep up. I was like, I remember my eighth grade girlfriend used to make out very quickly
Oh, and I could not keep up. I was like I feel like I'm being beaten right now like I'm being who?
Yeah, like she was kind of like
Yeah, she kept retreating very quickly. Oh, you got a catcher. Yeah, that's what it felt like catcher
I tried to bite her tongue
I couldn't you well you had to move quick enough that if you try to bite her tongue You'd have some fucking shit on your hands. Did you do it?
I got my lip bit once by someone and I was bleeding. Oh and then knowing me. What kind of fucking just blood
Just throttle wrestle sex are you having first?
Oh no, I was like fucking 19 years old when that happened and I was like this is ridiculous
I thought it was like the most cliché like stupid shit and clearly she was you know not really
Not a lot of practice there. She almost took my fucking face off. Oh, and I was I thought it was an intentional bite
It was well, then she had practice. Well, no, well like she was biting it to be like oh, this is sexy
But she bit way too hard you can't buy hard like oh, she was breaking skin. Yeah, she broke skin
So what happens naturally,
all Joey here thinks I have AIDS.
Oh, well, there was some blood.
Joey, and I'm like, well, now I have...
There's a couple things in between those two things
that you could probably...
Frankie, when I was younger,
I thought everything gave me AIDS.
I thought anything gave me AIDS.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was afraid of the whole world.
I was afraid of crossing guards.
Oh, well, they're scary old women most of the time. Yeah, I didn't know.
It was terrifying. I'd be afraid of them too. Still am. Yeah, I don't. Yeah.
I'll fucking walk out of the way. Like the long way to not cross with a crossing
guard because I don't know when to listen. We see when every morning dropping the kids off
at school, kids, miles off at school. She's nice. You know, I had, I had to say
something to her once though. What?
Yeah, I had a, I didn't like,
I didn't, she was making some comments
and I got fucking fed up with it.
At you?
Yeah.
What did she say?
There were multiple times where we would be walking
to school and she would always,
bro, fucking boomer women are like everyone's parents.
That's what they think.
Like, oh, like everyone is my child.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to everyone. I'm so interested in this. And she, multiple times we would be walking.
And it's when Ruby was a baby. A four-mayve was here. The good old days. Right. You know.
Kidding. Before you were keeping your babies up. Definitely not. Um, and she would always say like,
oh, she must be cold. Oh, it's windy for her.
The kid was wrapped up and bundled.
Bum-bundled, dude.
This girl, you could have fucking shot a gun at her
and it would have bounced off.
That's not, I don't know what that means.
But I'm saying like, fucking winter jacket.
Oh, hi.
She was parenting.
Bro, she was parent, and she would always say,
wrap that baby up.
Your baby's freezing.
Yes, always, always, always, oh, and I would always rub it up.
You know, I'd be walking by it, I'd just like rub it off.
I would not think about it.
I wouldn't think, I would just, okay, whatever.
And I kept walking.
And then one day, and it happened like no exaggeration,
15, 20 times.
I would say, 15, 20 times, one day we're walking
and it's a really windy day out.
And Ruby's, again, all bundled up, fucking head to toe.
Socks, everything for all this, like,
I know clothes.
But I'm just saying, like, could have survived
in the Arctic.
And I'm walking and I have a hoodie on and my hood is up. And I think think Ruby had a hood on but it wasn't up, but she still had a winter hat. Yeah, and we're walking and I didn't hear it
Becca heard it and she's like did you hear what she said to her? I was like what what and she goes she said oh
Your hood on but not your daughter some father you must be I
Said she said that huh?
No.
Yeah dude, this one we came from my fucking throat.
Did you turn around?
No.
What?
Listen.
I didn't find out because we were with miles.
What was I gonna do?
The kid fucking, he's like, he's very sweet to her.
I'm like, I'm like, go ahead, I gotta go.
No, so we drop him off on the way back.
Becca's like, and I'm like this the whole time.
I didn't talk, I had a fucking,
she's like, what's going on? I was like, let's go time. Let's go to 100%. I'm going to hit
her all the way up. So we're crossing again, and I go, do me a favor, enough with those fucking
comments. Nice. And she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, like, playing like, I didn't think, but also,
like, I knew what I was doing. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry I was Yeah, yeah, oh, I'm so sorry and she's like oh, I'm so sorry and I was like yeah done and I just fucking when we kept walking
I would have let her have more than that. No bro. What am I gonna do? You know, I would have been fucking she could she could
Put that fucking stop sign down as I'm walking by one day and then boom I get hit by a Mac truck
Yeah, but you could also be in the Mac truck that hits her, you know? No, it's not like that.
She's, we've moved past it.
We've never talked about it, but like, you know, she's a nice person.
Enough with those fucking comments.
Bro, I was, you mean-
You should have called Arnold Bag or something.
I was fuming.
I, I-
It's pretty bad.
Dude, some fucking, you know-
I should have, right?
That's why, like, that's why I had that point.
I knew I had to say something because that's like, that's fucked.
Bro, the best thing I've ever been called in my life is a good dad.
The worst fucking thing that this woman could have done, she did.
So in her, like she, like that's my, like, you know, her calling me like a fucking dirty
spick or something, you know what I mean?
Right on the fucking podcast with that.
I was back.
Jesus Christ.
Let's get to the end or something.
Jesus Christ. We'll be right back. Jesus Christ. Let's get to the end or something. Jesus Christ.
We'll be right back.
Fucking Jesus.
You know what, you should have done would be cool.
You should have like got a doll and bundled it up and then been like,
you made me do this and I just spiked it.
I just be like, you want to see the father I am and spiked it.
Spiked it.
I hunted the doll.
Yeah. oh my god
I would have been nice, but something like that. I don't even know what point that would make
It just would be cool. I'm gonna give you one guess. Yeah, if this woman is wider not oh
She's one thousand. Yeah, of course, dude. Of course. I'm picturing how old was she? Oh, she's got to be in her late 60s early early to mid 70s. Oh
died right here
No, no, what I mean you're getting close. Yeah, I get close.
She like I said she's been nice. She's been nice ever since no glasses ever since she's been really nice
We've never had any more hiccups, but I had a fucking lay the law down. Right. Yeah, you know what I'm saying and them in the most like fucking
Dad way I could and back I afterwards she's like, we have the serious woman every day.
And I was like, yeah, like,
she's gonna keep talking shit
unless you fucking put the kabash on it.
Yeah.
And the kabash was put.
Right, it was right on.
I understand, yeah.
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Patreon.com slash the base video, I'd listen folks.
We got over 26,000 patrons, which makes my heart
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Nothing you gotta worry about.
I'm not gonna die before Joey, maybe hopefully who knows.
You can go to patreon.com and you can join today because listen, they updated their page.
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like to commit to, you can join for free.
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So that's the Basement your name, thanks for getting this
in 26.
Let's keep rockin' and rollin' baby.
Let's keep gettin' to 27, 28, 29, 30.
Hey, maybe even 40 one day, all right?
patreon.com slash the base of your name.
Joe, back to you.
Is it back to me?
It's back to you.
Do you want me to take it back?
No, but I do wanna talk about,
before the show, you said that Joe Biden's brother brother Joe Biden's brother posted a dick on the internet. Yeah, so I've been looking for it all morning
Can't find this hog, but Frankie's a he's got a fucking
Bologna pony listen this guy is
Walking around with just fucking you know like you know, there's people out there with pickle balls. He's full tennis
Yeah, yeah full tennis out there. know, there's people out there with pickables. He's full tennis. Yeah, yeah. Full tennis out there.
Yeah, he's got a whole ham sandwich, doesn't he?
He's got a just a giant dome bum bummed.
I didn't even...
I didn't even know that Joe Biden had a brother one.
Yeah, me neither.
And two, you say the most dumb grinder.
First of all, name.
I believe it was posted on a gay dating site.
I don't want to say grinder, you know.
I'm not confirming that it's grinder.
That's the gay one.
They might get upset. Like, no, no, no, not us. It was the other one. Why is grinder named grinder, you know, I'm not confirming that it's right. Okay, one they might get upset like no
No, not us. It was the other one. Why is grinder named grinder by the way?
Did the gay dudes grind a lot? I think dude everyone grinds dude sex is just wet grinding think about it think about it
I
Guess you're right. I am very right
Grindigan mashing
Mushy top. Oh
Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin Martin You know Well the White House half a pound of pursuit listen Quarter pound quarter past less than I know half pounds a lot though Joey
Oh, yeah, it's a lot like it's like two packs. I mean, I don't know a lot though
More than you and I got working with damn Joe Biden can't catch a break to listen his son has a giant weiner his brother
Does he have a giant? He's got he's working. He's working well. I know he does a lot of like crack and hookers and stuff.
Yeah, but he's doing well, isn't he?
He's doing well.
Good for him.
That means that Joe Biden's probably got a fucking he-hombs.
Makes you think of the leader of the free world,
you know what I'm saying?
Like, I will say, it's good.
You could say what you want about presidents.
Yeah.
And political discourse. It's good to have a say what you want about presidents and political discourse.
It's good to have a president that's just fucking got a package again because all accounts
from what we've heard from people maybe Trump is as you know locked cocked and ready to
jok as some other people.
Oh, didn't what's her name?
What's her name?
That's her name.
No, but what is that woman's name?
I'm not gonna say it. Just I don't want to get stormy Daniel. There it is. He said it. Good job. Thanks.
Shurades. Yeah, stormy Daniel said that he liked like Trump like to get spanked or he had like a little dick or something.
Yeah, probably both. I can't confirm that she could like actually said it because you know there's like NDAs and stuff out there.
How do you like in spanked?
I don't think I've ever been spanked and no one's ever spanked your butt.
Oh like out like not in a sexual way, Joe.
No but like if I have hands move.
I've never been in a situation where I could be spanked.
Like in the conversation.
You're on top.
You're your butts right there.
And if Becca would have reached around and spanked my ass, I would get out,
and I'd say, let's talk about what just happened
before we continue.
Why?
That's weird.
I mean, I'm not over here being like,
you know, spank my shit red.
I will say your boy got the most spankable ass
on this side of the Mississippi.
So then why you were like,
depriving the world of the spankable.
Sometimes you don't need to figure out,
like there are certain answers to the universe we don't need.
So you're on no, no, hi, need, guys.
No, hi, need, no nippies.
No, nipple, no, hi, need.
No, nipples, no, hi, need.
You wanna know Becca asked me to pump my nipples?
Dude, you should have hopped all over that.
I need to think of that.
Yo, because if you do it for long enough,
maybe nipple come out, right?
Yeah, watch this, watch.
You watching?
I'm watching.
Absolutely not.
I think that's true. She goes, cause you know, she has a goal it she wants to breastfeed for a certain amount of time
she's still breastfeeding incredible and
she said like
On the last day will you like sit here and pump your nipples and I said no
What forget the last day now what dude? Just fucking you're pumping your nippies. What's wrong? What's wrong?
I want to know what would happen. I'll bring the pump and you can pump your own nipples
I'm not putting your wife's pulp on my nipples. Joey. We clean the thing
You think we just sit there. I'm not worried about that. I would feel uncomfortable giving it back here
I just pumped nipples. Oh watch this now go feed your fucking children watch this you fucking clean it again, Joey
Or after she's done with it, if she doesn't donate it,
which I don't think you can even do,
maybe we'll just... There's hand me down.
Oh, that makes sense.
I would say so.
Maybe we'll bring it in and you can just pump yours.
Or a manual pump. We can get manual pumps? They're not expensive.
No, I want the machine. I want machinery to pump.
You want machine pumps? Yeah, I want to be...
My machine.
What would you do, it would like if I started
making if I started making milk ruin my ruin my world what you're happy first
of all if I if I pump and I make some milk you have to drag it oh no I'm not
drinking my wife's breast milk why am I drinking my coasts go goose what am I
go go I'm sure there are stories and men producing that's what you're Go goes! Why am I go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go- Potentially induced lactation in men. Fuck! Bro, we just gave you those lactation cookies. Give you a couple cookies, you might start fucking milking.
Wait, there's cookies that make you...
M-milk?
Yeah, there's lactation cookies and shit.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I should know that.
Well, Shannon's lactation.
Oh, okay, I was just gonna say, oh, but...
Ask Shannon!
Ask Shannon what happens if we pump your nipples long enough.
I think you might start bleeding.
Didn't you got to drink my blood?
Um, watch this.
Again, are you watching it again?
I got to take two for you to watch.
No. I've had bloody nipples before.
Oh, yes. I've had.
No one's ever sucked on my nipples, and I promise you.
I've had my nipples sucked, but like, as a joke.
What?! What do you mean?
That is a wild statement to just fucking flash from the pan right there. Dude, what do you mean? Who was joking wild statement to just fucking just flash with the pan right there.
Dude, what do you mean?
Who was jokingly sucked on your nipples, Joey?
What do you mean?
What?
Don't do this! Don't gaslight me here, like this is not insane.
Who was jokingly sucked on your nipples?
Bro.
Fucking, you're laying with your shirt off.
What are you shocked about?
I'm shocked that you let someone jokingly suck on your nipples
Why didn't know it was gonna happen? I'll hold on let's what level of sucker we going at like enough to like fucking like if a baby wanted a feed
Tump no, I've never been breastfed upon so I don't know. Oh, okay. Thank you. It was like a joke
Joey this is a comedy Joe. She's not a comedy joke. Yeah, this is not comedy. This is not comedy at all
This is weird. It wasn't like I'm gonna pinch him and then it wasn't like that like a cat
Was it was it before was a proceeding or followed by any sexual? Oh, it was like you watching TV that makes it worse Joey
I'm like freaking out here. I don't know you just hate hate nipples. I do I'm not don't don't I love
Other nipples not mine. That's what I meant not mine my nipples
Why do you hate your nipples? I just don't like them dude?
I don't want to like the look of them don't like the look don't like the taste don't like the touch don't like any of it
You've tasted your nipples. Everyone's tasted their own nipples dude. No, they have jokingly lick your own nipples
Come on, I'm gonna do that
Maybe I haven't tasted it, but maybe I've done like oh, I've done this
Come on
Yeah, come on you jokingly taste your own nipples. I mean I I assume just like skin
Now there's a nipple taste you know, it's not a nipple. There's a nipple taste No boobs just taste like boobs. It tastes like skin. Now there's a nipple taste. You know that. There's a nipple taste.
No, boobs just taste like boobs.
Boops taste like skin.
I'm not even saying boobs.
I'm just saying your own nipples.
There's a nipple taste.
I doubt it.
Yeah.
Do you think?
No, no.
Nope.
Go for it.
Do you think like brown or nipples taste?
Your voice gave out because I want to do that.
To not tell. My mind's like stop, like stopped, stopped, like, women of color.
People like BPC during this conversation.
Yeah, right, that's what I mean.
I don't wanna offend the Nipples.
The OCs.
Indigenous Nipples.
Well, this got to be, babe.
There's a little, you know, you gotta, I mean,
you have to imagine that different types and nipples taste different.
Because there's different stuff coming out of skin.
Well, yeah, that, I mean, then you get into like,
it's like a fingerprint, everyone's different,
but like, I would assume that like Spanish nipples
are, there's definitely more like cilantro lime on there.
Again, I can, I can say this stuff.
I can say it.
Okay, well, you come here.
You come here, I mean, like,
what's on your nipples, bitch?
Potatoes, I don't know. Yeah, just like a fucking like,. I can say it. Okay, well, come here. What's on your nipples, bitch? Potatoes, I don't know.
Yeah, just like a fucking like assault.
That's it.
Unseason nipples.
You've tasted your own nipples, dumbass.
A little, not great.
What was that tell you?
Oh my dumb!
You're having people sucking your nipples
in the funny, hey, you know what'd be a real hilarious gag?
No one's having.
Fucking lick me up.
No one's having. No one's having
You know what's having it?
The weird dude no one's happy very weird. No, it's weird dude. All right. Can I joke? Can I joke and leave suck on your nipples?
What makes you think exactly exactly because it's not a joke if it would be if it was a joke
It'd be hilarious if I sucked your nipples
But I'm not going to because it's not a joke. It's sexual and it's
weird
You need to be more if it's such a fucking joke
Let me suck your nipples right now. Frankie. Let me do it two two questions one
First is in a question. No, two. Would you do that?
Now you wouldn't do
Would you do that? No, you wouldn't do it.
Time is it.
3,000 patrons.
Frank sucks my nipple.
150,000 patrons?
Oh my god.
I just thought of a funny one.
What?
If we got to 30,000 patrons, we flip a coin.
Whoever it lands on has to get their nipple pierced.
Oh, watch this.
Third watch.
You ready? Three times a watch. That's. Oh, watch this. Third watch, you ready?
Three times a watch.
And that's how we eight watched this, final.
No, because I'll do you one better.
I got my grumble waxed.
Yeah, yeah.
So it's gotta be you.
To be fair, I got pelted with an egg,
which the world never saw.
I actually saw a video on my phone the other day.
Two, there wasn't no one on the video too
Right to two
To my defense
That was your idea and you signed up for it
Fair
This is your idea
Sign yourself up
You want people to suck your nipples as it is
So you might as well just let them fucking pierce it
Which one would you get though?
Would you get like the bull nose?
Or would you get like a bar?
Watch this
Stop saying watch this
Not no one's touching my nipples dude whether for fucking pleasure work
Nothing work. Yeah piercing them. That's what's a job for people
Never tell you when I was in high school my girlfriend's best friend got her nipple pierced
Oh, and showed you and you're like I don't see this she was like oh she got her nipple pierced
You want to see I was like no she's like no, I said it's okay. And I was like,
oh, still no. Absolutely not. Why didn't you want to see it though? Because I could, you don't want
to see a freshly pierced nipple, dude. What? Oh, that was why? I thought it was something like, I would
imagine. I would imagine. Clearly, you can tell this someone packing I got here with nipples.
Imagine I would imagine clearly you can tell this someone packing I got here with nipples. I I would imagine gonna be all red and red and yeah Like like swollen and like maybe a little like dried up blood
Right, I don't want to see all that nice. Here's a question. I got for you. Okay. Serious one too. Oh
You have your you're all right. You're not a woman has her breasts
A woman has her breasts. Frankie, talk like a person.
Please stop.
A woman has breasts.
A woman has her nipples pierced.
Yeah.
And then she starts lactating.
Is it coming out like fucking like you
like you put your finger on a fountain?
Yeah, like you're peeing after sex.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it coming out like that or is it still just like kind of got one
where to go?
I think that maybe it comes out with two holes
Because you got you got it like you got it great if you had twins or three holes, maybe well you got two boobs
Yeah, then you could feed six children like like a bunch of dogs hear me out. Oh my god
This is gonna be a really good bad idea. This is a good bad idea. Yeah
Copyright TM we got the patent working on it and everything.
This is OK.
Nipple covers.
Let me the man tell you about a good invention
for breastfeeding women.
Guys, you're good.
Women, listen up.
Open up.
Hey, women, listen up to this man.
I figured it out for you.
A nipple cover that has multiple like hoses on it so you can breastfeed multiple kids from
one boob.
You have two boob's.
Yeah, but like one of them maybe doesn't work as well as the other.
That happens.
Yeah.
You know.
So like it has a hose on it.
So it has like one nipple here, one nipple there one nipple there. So you can have
Potentially up to three sucking on your tits at the same time. How are you gonna hold three babies?
No, yeah, I think that I think the thigh and the arms
you know
If this is kind of alarming was you have to know that's not possible because you have children.
It makes me feel like you've never held children before if you think you could hold three
from your nipple.
Listen to me right now.
Also, do you know how hard it is sometimes for babies to latch onto nipples?
Very, very hard, yeah.
So you're going to get a double latch on one nip.
I mean, sometimes you can get a double latch on one nip, absolutely.
Is it possible? Is it possible? When hamsters drink out of that thing,
I actually love watching hamsters drink.
I gotta be honest, it sounds very appealing.
That little metal ball in there,
it's like a ballpoint pen of water.
Oh, there's a metal ball in there?
That's how it works.
I thought it was just like a, oh, you're an idiot.
Yeah, that's what you're telling me.
That's what I am saying.
That's what you're telling them too.
It's like a ballpoint pen and like,
there's a little metal ball and they push the ball
and the water drips out.
That makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
That's why it doesn't triple in them.
Crazy.
Really?
I do like watching gerbils drink stuff.
I love watching them just shove stuff in their mouth.
You know what I did?
Where they're just like, fucking,
and they got like 13 fucking like nuts in their mouth.
I do like watching Squirrels E too. Oh, they're like, they're like so quick. Dude in their mouth. I do like watching squirrels eat
too, like they're like so quick dude. I love like slow down dude. It's fucking very
supposed to eat that. The animals eat so fast probably because they think they're gonna get murdered
That's the one like like a chicken. He just like
Like it's fucking man. I don't fuck with roosters dude because of that
I've fed a rooster and I'm like bro, you're gonna put a hole in my hand.
Well, chickens roosters, tomato, tomato, ones got a dick.
I do like feeding llamas.
Oh, we went to an alpaca farm not long ago.
I did too.
Those dumb idiots, just like they're fucking
to shitty mouth, and like they're just like.
They only have one row of teeth.
What do you fucking George Washington?
That's smart, yeah.
What is that?
Yeah, they are George Washington.
And they look like every, yeah, they are George Washington and they look like every yeah
They look all fucked up. I like them now. I like them, but like I feel bad for him bro. There was some fat fucking pigs there
pigs pigs dude. I
Like pigs I wouldn't want one though. Ah, I might you want a pig? I might want a pig I can't deal with the squealing
I like a squeal if they think they're gonna get hurt, Joey.
Not squeal, because they're talking.
No, the talking is like,
that's not great either.
That's cuter than a squeal.
Yeah, the squeal.
Yeah, I hate that.
Oh, do you remember years ago, there was that video
of that fucking pig-calling competition?
Yes, I do.
The whites need a stop, too.
Yeah, like, if you're bored just like go on the internet or something.
I literally do anything other than what you've done for the last
four hundred years. Take a job. It hasn't worked. Yeah. Are you would you be good at it?
Get to the ad first. Get to the ad first. Yeah. Because what I was about to ask you is the dumbest thing.
And it was like such a redirect. Just get to the ad first, and then we'll get,
we'll get Dumber.
We've got Seaky here.
Seaky, first of all, I've spent a lot of money
on Seaky in the past few days because the range of season
is starting, and I'm like, I'm going to a bunch of games.
And then next as well.
But Seaky, 28 million downloads, okay?
It's the number one rated ticketing app in the app store.
This is where you're gonna buy all your tickets. You wanna go to a sporting event you want to go to a concert or anything like that
You're gonna want to do it with sea geek. I love using their app because I know when I'm getting a good price for a ticket or a bad price for a ticket
Okay, a dark green ticket. That's a great price for where you sit, okay?
so
Yeah, go go download sea geek and go to this good one nice game
You like I said if you're in New York the Rangers are common the next are common the the nets are common so
You know you can start going to all these games
B. S. Go check them out
And also we're gonna get you we're gonna save you some money here you get use the code basement
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There are more than 70,000 events every single day on Seeky, including concert, sports,
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And lastly here we have price picks,
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So I've kind of given it up and I'm sick to price picks. But it's it's a lot of fun and you can run up to 25 times
your money with price picks. So how it works is it's sports and you can they have
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Is it going to be more or less than 250 yards?
So his projection is 250 yards.
Is it more or less?
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But you could turn $10 into $250 in just a few steps.
It doesn't take a lot of time to put in these entries.
It's easy to understand.
It's just more or less than the projection.
Then you watch the games that makes it a lot more interesting.
I enjoy it.
And I seem to be doing well at that.
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a first deposit match up to $100, which just means if you put in 50 bucks, they'll put
in 50 bucks. If you put in 100, they'll put in 100. So then you'll have 200 to play
with like that up to $100, like I said. So go to prizepix, prizepix.com slash basement
and use the code basement for a first deposit match up to $100. Okay? There you go, folks. So what were you
going to ask? I was going to ask you if you think you'd be good at a pie eating contest.
You can't use your hands. No, I don't like pie. We've discussed this. I don't like pie.
Not a pie guy. What do you like? What can you eat a lot of? Pizza, hot dogs, pizza.
Chicken wings, a carbel ice cream cake.
Chicken wings?
You could get hurt though.
Chicken wings?
Yeah, like, if you're eating chicken wings that quickly,
how many chicken wings you can think you can eat in one shot?
What's my time limit?
Mm, two hours.
50 or sixty?
Holy shit.
Yeah.
I have a problem where I can eat non-stop.
I can eat non-stop.
I don't know about fifty.
I like legitimately, I'm always ready to eat.
Like even when I'm done and I'm like, well I'm stuffed, I'm ready, I can eat more.
Yeah.
I just, I don't know, like I just, I'm an eating machine.
I don't know what it is.
Well that's where human beings are, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
But like I can eat like this,
like I can black out and wake up and like,
oh, fucking like 20 wings are gone.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm a pretty monster.
You're a pretty monster.
I'm a pretty much a monster.
That's what I'm saying.
Oh, I thought you said you're a pretty monster.
I would think I'm pretty, much a monster, that's what I'm saying. Oh, I thought you said you were a pretty monster. I would think I'm pretty a pretty monster too.
Okay.
But what about you?
I ate four slices of pizza the other day, like no problem.
The only reason why I stopped is because I was like,
I should.
Yeah, exactly.
And that's why I stopped too.
I'm like, I need to stop.
I was like, this is stupid, I should stop.
I can eat a whole pizza pie like a large pizza pie without without
Linking they were grandma slices. Oh
They're wet. Yeah, yeah, whether wet with the wet. I love that I fucking love grandma's life
Yeah, I need you I've started a new diet and I need you to stop talking about pizza because it's gonna fuck me up
Are you doing like one of the what it's one are you doing? I'm just doing like kind of my own thing.
I'm just limiting my fat and caloric and taking stuff
like that, sweet.
Yeah, but pizza.
Pizza, yeah.
Pizza, hot dogs.
I can't eat that many hot dogs.
Pigs in a blanket.
Maybe a thousand.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You can't like someone recently I saw and they were like,
can you eat 20 tortillas and they were like can you eat
20 tortillas and it was like no and they were like what if I chop them up and fry them and it's like oh You then yeah, and I absolutely can same thing with hot dogs what if what three pigs is one hot dog?
Is it I would say three pigs is a hot dog because they're like this long each yeah, I guess so
Yeah, don't yeah, don't put that up to me.
Yeah, yeah.
So I can eat without,
I can eat a whole box of 50 pigs in a blanket
and maybe live to tell the tale
because that cholesterol will be fucking jumping.
It'll be a through the roof, you have for sure.
Yeah, that's another food that like,
usually you only have that at like parties or like cocktail hours and the only reason
Why I'm stopping is because I know that other people want something. Yeah same absolute same. I don't like
Don't put food around me and expect me to act like normal especially hot dogs
I went recently to like two things that there were hot dogs there and I had to like play it cool
Like I had to like be cool.
Like I didn't wanna, I went chill.
I brought my, I brought Miles to one of his classmates,
Berthes and he was like,
oh we're just gonna do like, you know,
the kids will have like pizza
and we're just gonna do like hot dogs hamburgers.
You cool with that?
And I had to just be like, yeah, you know, I good.
My, my, you know, I good. My nephew, I don't, it wasn't, was it his birthday?
I don't know.
Whoever's birthday it is, not the part of the story.
I think the people want to hear it.
Sorry, but it was at this thing on Long Island,
where it's like one of those places
where it's like a basically a big play pen for children.
Yeah.
And they ordered pizza.
Now, there's 20 children. Yeah. And they ordered pizza. Now there's 20 children.
I'm talking two years old.
Yeah.
Two to three years old.
Not gonna eat that much.
And I'm like, okay.
Obviously they're gonna go 16.
So they're gonna cut this thing to 16.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, let the kids get their fucking pizza.
Then I'm like, when can I really be an adult about this?
Yeah, 100%.
And start eating a thousand slices. I don't know if it's because of the way I'm like, when can I really be an adult about this? Yeah, 100%. And start eating a thousand slices.
I don't know if it's because of the way I'm wired.
If a pizza is cut into 16s, like, school party pizza,
one bite, and I'm ready for more.
Frankie, I can probably, like, yeah.
If it's cut into 16s, I may not stop eating it.
Yeah.
Like, it may keep going, I could keep going, maybe.
A legit, I'm the exact same way. And I want to dump something on it, like it may keep go I could keep going. Yeah legit. I'm the exact same way and I want to dump something on it
Like oil or something. No, just a little fresh, you know a little powdered garlic. I'm good with that
Palmer John oh
So there's something that came out that I think we should end on
Do we have time to to end on the what came out the accents? Oh?
Yeah, so people tag me on this in Twitter. Yeah, so there's a new
study that came out that was done by someone British. So we hate the
miscellaneous. And it seems like that is kind of politically charged. What is the
fact that the British did this? Of course they're gonna hate us. Yeah, they don't.
We fucking dipped on them, you know, we left them at the altar. So it was a study on
the, oh, I think it was a toast. It might not have been the British. What's blaming them
though? Okay. It was the fucking British. It was the goddamn British. Yeah. But it's the
attractiveness of certain accents. The story that was sent to us, which is the reason it made headlines,
it was New York was given the worst accent.
At least attractive accent in the world.
Wild.
Yeah, I would say that.
Because it's not the accent that people hate,
it's the characterization, the caricature of it.
Everyone thinks it's just some fucking, you know,
you know, tank top wearing, gold chain,
Newsy hat, Italian from Brooklyn just be like, oh, New York, yeah, like that's not what
it is.
Normal people like us, like it's just certain words, coffee, chocolate.
I can't say ask.
You just did.
I know, but I can't say it in a sentence.
I say X.
Oh, well, that's not because you're an idiot.
Well, no, I just like to like get through it.
It's way easier to say X.
Yeah, no, I'm gonna ask you something.
But that's just, that's wild.
I don't think, and I know we're biased
because we're from New York.
Right.
But people love New Yorkers because of the accent.
You know, like, oh, forget about it.
Like, no one thinks that's at least attractive. I know anyone who sounds like that to be honest. So I have all of the accent, you know, like, oh, forgot about it. Like, no one thinks that's Lisa Tractor.
I don't even know anyone who sounds like that, to be honest.
So I have all of the findings here.
So we already went over the Lisa Tractor accents,
number one being New York.
What do you think number two is?
Boston.
Yes, 100%.
Nailed it.
Got it correct.
That accent is number one worse than the world for me.
Uh, it's up there with me, I hate it.
Yeah. It's the funniest one to me though.
I just, I could sit and listen to fucking,
it's garbage.
The toss and accent.
It's garbage.
I wouldn't, I'm sorry, garbage.
Yeah, I mean, I just, I just think it's so funny.
Number three least attractive, American Midwestern.
N-Nudid.
What's that?
Midwest, isn't that like-
The Midwest is like, oh, like we're going to get some soda
and like, oh like Chicago?
Like, yeah, Chicago.
What am I thinking of?
I don't know.
That's why I had southern life.
No, that's not, okay.
So it's like North Dakota's pretty bad.
Oh, North Dakota.
North Dakota, like there.
What a, yeah, it's real cold.
It's real cold up in here.
Can we get cold up in here?
I was sitting there drinking my soda. Yeah, it's real cold up in here. Can't really call it here. I was sitting there drinking my soda.
Yeah, it's really cold.
And I was thinking it's cold down here.
Yeah, I mean, a garage, you know, drinking beer by myself.
That sucks.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Number four, Canadian.
What's a Canadian accent?
Just like a old aboot.
I mean, if you have a deep one, it's probably pretty bad.
Well, it's like French, because a lot of Canada was colonized by the French, so it would be like French Canadian.
Like Montreal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Number five, American Southern.
Pretty bad.
Yeah, it's not great.
Pretty bad.
Because I used to think of the country bumpkin like...
Oh, no, no, no.
I think that I...
Oh!
No, no, no, go!
That's how they sound though, you know?
They...
They... they do they, they, they, they, they, they do.
Have a way with words because I feel like they just like
make stuff up and somehow it makes sense.
It's like, oh, that's as easy as skipping a rock
going back up a tit.
Well, you know, you know what mama used to say,
it's not about size of your fence around your house
is about how you're gonna skin that porcupine.
Yeah, and you're like, how does that make sense?
I think people like the whole country,
like Southern, like I'm a cowboy,
and I'm a little concerned, and rail, hate them both.
I mean, I don't mind that,
but I feel like people are underestimating that,
when you actually go to the deep parts of the South,
there's just people who sit on their porch
and have sex with their family.
Yeah, that's just like, that's parts of the country.
It's just true though.
It is quite true.
Number six, least attractive accent, Spanish.
Huh?
And it has the Spain flag here, but like even so,
I wouldn't put any Spanish.
I think Spanish is the top.
I would say Spanish has got to be
like one of the more attractive ones.
Yeah.
Number seven, German.
That's pretty rough.
I think it's Russian, because that's not even in the top.
That's correct.
Not even listed here.
German and Russian.
Number eight is Yorkshire, which I think is like the fucking
like heavy like like if I'm not mistaken,
I think that's like the soccer pool in UK.
Oh, you're brumming brum.
You just sound like Shrek.
That's Scottish, you're right.
What else?
Just start rattling them off.
All right, but that's the least attractive
that I listed here.
Oh, okay.
Number, the most attractive Italian.
Number eight, brummy.
Don't know what that is.
Number seven, Welsh. Okay. I don't know, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Number six, brummy? Don't know what that is. Number seven, Welch.
Okay.
I don't know, I wouldn't be able to tell you
number six, Italian.
Interesting.
I could see, but like Italian, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, yeah, it does flow. It has a flow. It sounds like singing. Number five French.
All right.
How is this? I guess I don't know how people are attracted by French people at all.
I see it, but then also I'm like, sometimes I'm like, I don't really.
Number four Irish.
Are we okay?
Listen, the Irish?
That's an attractive language.
I guess some people.
I don't hate it, but like, bro, you're not in the top five.
What are you fucking kidding me?
Number three, London.
London, I love that.
I do like London, but I think people are just like,
they're confused because they think it's like,
they're all smart, which I've heard they're all dumb.
I do like the London accent a lot though.
Number two, Scottish.
Are we not
That's a wild because it's not attractive. It's violent if anything
You know what I'm saying free of
You know and like what are the women sound like
Come on, what is this? You know, Scottish being number two is bananas.
Number one, Australian?
I guess.
I like it.
But it's just like a cool London.
I can't even, don't even ask me to do, like, oh, no,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna dress your, your.
I don't even know how to do it.
But yeah, I don't know.
I, I like the Australian accent.
I don't mind it.
Oh, Scottish being up there is bananas.
All right, now they broke it down by most attractive
female accents and most attractive male accents.
Number one for both Australian.
People love the Australian.
Most attractive female, number two London.
I guess.
Yeah, yeah, I would say that.
Elizabeth Hurley, you know, like,
I know that was a big one for you.
Yeah.
Big, but dazzled guy over here.
Yeah.
Number two for most attractive male, Irish.
Okay.
I don't get it.
I, I don't get it.
I don't, maybe it's just me being a piece of shit American.
I think that it's like, it's decent,
but I don't think that it's too, like I just, I think,
I don't, I can't, I don't know, I think that it's too, like I just... I think... I don't, I can't...
I don't know, I just see it as too like...
I can't, I can't see this attract...
But I guess it's, I'm not finding men attractive, so...
Doesn't matter to me.
Number three, attractive female is Scottish.
I can't with this shit.
Number three, most attractive male, Welsh.
Four and five for a female is Brummy and French. What the fuck is brummy?
I don't know and I don't like English type of shit
I'm sure it is and then Scottish and French for the male most seductive accent
Top three
Number one French. I guess they're very horny. They're like oh
I guess. They're very horny.
They're like...
Oh, they always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to...
They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... They always look like they're trying to... Because the arts, you know, they be like, or like, I'm not gonna give them the pre-d
comments, do your worst.
TikTok, do your worst TikTok do your worst you do it be like
Or you want me to fucking finger your ass do you
Come here choppy
What do they say?
I can't see them being not loud Be like I want to show you something yeah, I want to fuck your
Fuck you. Yeah, those are those fucking freak you're doing. Yeah, I don't know. I can't really see that happens
Just eating haggis and whatever. What's that? Yeah?
And that was a question. It has most beautiful accents, most charming accents, and most romantic too.
Pretty much.
That's all like the same thing.
Yeah, French, Australian, Spanish are pretty much
across the board included, including Scottish.
I guess people are more into Scottish.
I'm very confused.
New York being the least is...
Go to Scotland next year, so maybe.
Wild thing that New York is the least
Yeah, I mean I get I mean I didn't and I generally I knew American was gonna be in there like some form of American I would say like oh
Excuse me. I hate like I hate like what like L.A. California English way worse
Yeah, like like like like the Valley girl. Valley girl. And like surgery, bro
That's actually pretty fucking Bob
Sainly intellectual. Yeah, like pretty fucking gnarly. I think it's pretty fucking chill But you're not like everything is a question. Yeah, like even the most obvious statements
We're oppression is like fucking not chill at all.
Yeah, like who, like I hate people that are just like
not about like loving their others.
Like a different vibe.
Yeah.
I'm not on a racist vibe.
Well, yeah, like don't, I can't.
I don't like that.
American accents, a New York would be, I would say it's up there.
I'd say there is like people wanting to do this by a New Yorker.
It really depends.
Where you go.
It's like, yo, you fucking like the Yankees bitch?
Yeah, right.
So fucking big.
You want a fucking baking name and cheese?
So, pick it up.
So, pick it up.
Anyway.
Well, you know, in all those videos where it's like that guy is like,
oh, make my sandwich the ocky way.
Yeah.
I was in Brooklyn the other day.
And I was on I was looking at a map because I was looking at I was like looking for this place. That was like near me and
They that person like that dude is a lucky okey. It the deli is called okey way. Yeah, they completely rebranded it now completely rebranded it and it's like his thing now. Yeah, he's like they probably
And I'm pretty sure I saw a tick-tock also like their sandwiches are like 18 bucks now. Yeah, and also
Gross and it was like yo, let me get a fucking like let me get a French toast the ocky way and it's like okay
Here let's start off with like ham and it's like whoa
Whoa, and it's like then mozzarella sticks
I'm like I'm having a lot of sound maggot. It's like I'm gonna chicken par with fruit loops and pancakes here
But I'm like I want to get it though. No, no, no, no, not me. Yeah, I don't know but you know
There's what it is anyway Frank. Where can they find you if I was at 85 on Twitter?
The Frank Alvarez on all of the forms of social media and go check out the patreon patreon.com slash the basement
You can find the basement yard at the basement yard on all forms of social media and go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. You can find the Basement Yard at the Basement Yard
on all forms of social media.
You can find Joe at Joe Sanagato.
And everything we do here at Sanagato Studios
all across the internet, we love keeping it fresh, funky,
and cute for you.
So, cute.
Yeah, Joey.
Follow me at Joe Sanagato on TikTok and Instagram
and that is all.
See you guys next time.
Oh man, what'd you do?
What'd you do? What'd you do? What'd you do?
What'd you do?
What'd you do?
I went like this?
I went like that.
Oh, yeah.
That was bad.
Well, that's actually okay.
That's uh...
That's like...
Hold it.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Don't worry.
Just put this down and it becomes something way worse.
It's not eight-haw.
It's okay.