The Basement Yard - #422 - Decoding Bad Bunny's Lyrics
Episode Date: October 30, 2023The Basement Yard is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BASEMENTYARD today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Welcome back to the basement yard.
The red boys today red in it up.
And well, that's maroon.
It's like a, that's more like a moth.
It's a maroon.
No, maroon is deeper and bloodier.
That's a moth, I would say.
What do you know about blood?
I know, I would say I know way more about blood
than you do.
You're recently didn't know that.
You know more about placenta.
I know more about blood.
Because of babies?
Yeah, I would say, but even that bear minimum right there.
You don't, did you ever touch the sack of placenta?
No, they like, can you?
I mean, maybe if you ask, but I don't think so
because I think they need it sterile
so they can like do whatever they do with it because they take it. It's like theirs.
Unless you sign like, you get, hey, welcome back to the basement. Wait, hold on. They rob
your placenta. Unless you like, you have to like sign like paperwork and stuff for you.
That's a fuck. I just my placenta. Well, I gotta sign. You got a sign.
Not yours. Physically not yours. I'm saying you me. Oh, yeah, I think I think it's a big topic of contention that's like kind of nuts that the hospital will take ownership or whatever facility
You give birth in of your fucking placenta. I'll beat the shit out of it though. You're baby sack
Yeah, I don't call it that you uh, I know there are people and I might know someone that has done this.
I don't want to speak out of line.
Because I'm starting to not do that today.
Today is the day I start to stop thinking out of line.
Yeah, exactly. You never speak out of line.
You're always in line.
You can freeze dry it and put it in like,
and capitalize it in pills.
I wish you didn't say,
I wish you didn't start this.
You could, yeah.
And you could like pop,
you can pop them like fucking like
Ultra nutrient rich fucking like multi vitamins. Is it but is there science behind that like is it good? Or am I just eating some blood? No, the placenta's not just blood Joey
I know it's like it's like a nutrient healthy blood. It's like nutrient dense
Basically organ your vitamin blood. Yeah, yeah, kind of exactly kind of but like it's like no kind of no kind of no full kind of kind of
And what you can do is you can re-ingest it
I know someone that ate the placenta with an ill yeah, they like fucking chopped it up and like made like tacos with it
All right, I'm not that's not a joke a white person. Yeah, very white. Wow very white
I know them you've met them definitely
You've definitely met them, but I wouldn't say no them have a guess. God. I'm not gonna. Oh
whisper it into
Ultra power they amplify ultra powerful microphones are ultra powerful. This isn't one of your comic books
Today
Fucking kid. What why did you have to do that? Why do you have to fucking shoot that? Huh?
Why didn't you do that? All right, look before we get other stuff
I had posed a question for you before the episode started a record as we were talking
Be in bros. Yeah boys be in boys and talking about boy butts our
Boy but our butts I will you I got to specify
Frankie you're not good at this. Are you like trying to explain something clearly? Ah-ha-ha
That's not good
All right serious question question. Because the
world needs to see your answer. Yeah. If you were asked by a romantic partner, someone
that you were romantically with, that's it. If they said, I want you to use one of these
ultra high powered, they're back, bitch. Oh, ultra, ultra mega on another level, power.
Talking about camera that you have.
Cause you have some like 4K fucking like DVR, PPR.
There's a bunch of different letters
that I don't understand on these cameras.
Okay.
And they said, sit spread eagle.
How do you sit spread eagle?
You sit on your butt and you spread your legs.
Oh.
Yeah.
And show like spread your butt shoulder.
Show your bum combed.
Yeah.
Would you do it?
No.
No pictures?
No pictures.
None at all.
No, I know.
I would not have video or...
You wouldn't want that evidence.
It would be like, you know, what's that movie where like they take a picture so when
they die in a week, it would be like a cursed image.
Wasn't it like the ring?
That was when they watched the ring.
That was the video tape.
That's when they watch a video tape.
Yeah, but then the photos, their faces were all smart.
No, there's a, yes, yes, but there's other ones regardless, but that would be a cursed
image of your asshole.
Yeah, it wouldn't be like the coolest picture I've ever taken.
Have you ever, honestly, ever taken a picture of your asshole?
No.
Never.
No.
I've only really seen it like three times in my life.
Oh, okay.
Have you seen yours?
Yeah.
I forced you to look at one.
You forced me in an episode of The Basement Yard
where I was a guest for you and Danny.
Yeah.
I will clarify, definitely very forceful.
It's hard to look at your own whole.
No, you just got a mirror and you just bend over
and there you go.
I know, but like, don't fuck.
Like how you need a like a big mirror.
Well, women do that when they have to see their film.
Yeah, but you just need a hand mirror for that.
Or you can sit in front of a big mirror too.
You can use a hand mirror for seeing your own asshole.
Can I?
I guess so, yeah. I don't want to, I don't
want to either. Yeah. But then the next question, the next part of the question was, if this
person you were romantically, if they asked, they said like, listen, yeah, I don't want to
touch it. Yeah. I don't want anything to do with it. Right. I just want to see you spread your butt cheeks for me.
Yeah.
And you said, and I said that it would depend,
I mean, it would be.
No, no, no, that's what you said.
You jumped right in.
You fucking dove heads first.
I said, yeah, I'd be, because I'd be like,
you said, yeah.
Well, I don't know if that I could.
No, you had, yeah, you had pitched it.
You went, yeah, I did I?
Yeah.
All right, well, I was just feeling it in the moment then.
But I, I would want to know know like what is it about this?
So you would have questions before or after they stared into Sauron.
But like if they enjoyed it, yeah! Like clearly they're enjoying it.
They're like, it's like sexy time.
Yeah, alright, but I wouldn't be able to like do it for too long.
What's to, what's, give me honestly, give me, show able to like do it for too long. What's to what's give me honestly?
Give me show me your hands on what's too long
It's more of like a feeling like however long it takes you to kill an ant with a magnifying glass is probably too long
I've never done that. Have you I have yeah murder. I've also killed slugs with salt double murder
Yeah, I would Definitely say no across the board like there's no like acceptable amount of like time. No, no way
What if you really gave it a good scrub?
It doesn't matter dude good scrub when a boat's in the ocean and it comes out
You could scrub the barnacles off at all you want still looks like shit. No, you can read
What's that called revitalize? Yeah, you need a painted and bleach it and power wash it and shit
I don't got the mechanics or the equipment power wash
No, you can't do I don't have the mechanics or the equipment to get my ass hole up with power washing
Would you nair your ass?
Have won't do it again. Have you?
Video tell me on the patreon. Oh no nair you? On video, Joey, on the Patreon.
Oh no, Nair, Nair.
It's wax, right?
No.
Oh, what do you think?
I think it's like a cream.
Oh.
You never?
I'm not worried about the hair.
I'm worried about just like the badlands, you know what I'm saying?
So then get all that out.
You know like when in like Lion King when they go into like-
Have you washed your butt like I was-
Oh, every day. Yeah. Every day day multiple times. Yeah multiple times. I wash my butt twice in the shower
What do you mean? I use once the first time I use a dial bar of soap to really get it clean
Oh, you hold a bar and you go like that. Yeah, I well, I do I it's a transfer technique because it's a shared bar
I don't want to wipe my asshole with a bar and then have my wife wipe hers. But I lather here very hard. You're stomach. Very very hard. So you're a
tummy lather guy. I'm a tummy lather guy and then I use the other hand to take the lather, to take the
soap and then I get back there and you give the old credit card. And I give it the credit card.
Yeah. And then I come up the front and I go back and I fucking start the engine all you do like a Maryland Monroe
I pulled a lawnmower got it. You know what I'm saying also you're pulling it all out from the front and the back
I I get in the back
Yeah, you know, it's mowing the lawn twice you go in a different pattern
You get in the back and then you go in the front and you fucking
Yeah, are you doing it
that vigorously I'm pretty pretty hard yeah I gotta admit I gotta admit that actually just hurt my
balls right there and you're in jeans doesn't matter though because they are guess what useless now
right for sex me but yeah dude I mean I don't I don't have the ability to clean my asshole to the point where I'm like yeah now the world can see this
I think you can though. No, but listen to me. You use your hand though, right? I do use my hand regardless. You don't use it like a rag
No
What did I then I have to wash this rag every single time I shower?
You guys have rags on display and fucking readily available?
What about like a Lufa?
You know that's a vegetable?
Lufa?
That's a plant, dude.
What's a plant?
A Lufa is a plant, like a separate name.
It is a plant.
What you use with the stick on it?
That.
The thing that looks like it would be like, you know, like the devil's butthole.
That is a plant. Is it? Yes. I thought it was be like, you know, like a devil's butthole. That is a plant.
Is it?
Yes. I thought it was just like,
made some of them.
No, like it's like a legit plant.
And it's like, I've seen,
you can like cut the ends off,
you dump the seeds out,
and it's a plant,
and you got a lufa.
Isn't that weird?
I don't know that you're right.
Watch me.
Be right all over this studio today.
I'm very right.
Like, maybe someone's made a Lufa.
No, they, like, I believe it is a Lufa plan.
And now we're back to, I believe.
So you say things with such conviction
and then you go to a right to I believe.
Lufa? Lufa is a vegetable.
Yeah.
Is it?
Yes, dude.
Lufa spelled L-U-F-A is a genus of tropical and subtropical vines in the pumpkin squash and gourd family.
I hate that family, by the way.
I love that family, dude.
Really?
Very fun family.
Okay.
Gord's, dude.
Gord's-
The ugliest thing on the planet.
Yes, but they're cool. They're decorative.
They let cool colors.
They have cool shapes.
I do have a gourd.
I have a gourd.
But they look like a witch's nose.
I do like that when they're all bumpy and gross and diseased.
I want to cut off the bumps.
Bro, one time, it's funny that you brought that up.
I was talking to my father in law yesterday and he was like, yeah, I cut open a gourd
ones and they're so hard to cut open.
I had to use a crowbar.
How do you cut something up over the crowbar?
Well, he had to cut it and then to open it.
Oh, he had to crank it up.
Crowbar it out, yeah.
He's also in his 70s, so it could be.
Yeah, it could be that easier for him.
Could be that osteoporosis.
Could be that, his bones are brittle.
Yeah, well, like Swiss cheese.
He's a strong man.
Right, actually grew up literally on this block.
Strange, huh?
What does that mean?
Right here.
Like grew up right here.
He grew up. Like really? Yeah, right. Like grew up right here. He grew up.
Like really?
Oh yeah, right.
Literally, literally, right here.
Weird.
Here.
But so to come full circle, to come again,
like yeah, come again, full circle.
When did you come the first time?
I'm not dulling.
So I don't wanna touch it. Yeah. I'm the girl that you're a canoeing woman.
Oh, we're back to that.
I don't want to touch it. I just want to see it.
You're doing it?
Eventually.
Oh, you shouldn't.
Why?
You have a responsibility to hide the world from certain horrors.
And I can almost guarantee from someone that has seen your ass.
I don't think that it's like that crazy.
But you ever hear this?
This is a little BH.
You ever hear the saying, give an inch, take a mile.
Yeah.
You give your inch to this poor woman.
And what do you think is going to happen? She's? She's gonna see like oh the next time it's okay
She gets a little closer the next time it's like I'm gonna blow air on it and then it's I'm gonna blow air on it
And then it's like I'm gonna and then eventually becomes her just like full-on
Finger-fucking-you in the butthole
You're cool with that. I don't know, I'm not.
I don't want to be finger bangs.
But you're cool with her just staring at it.
She's window shopping, you're asshole.
Well, I'm not saying that like, like I said,
I'm not cool with it being a staring contest.
Who blinks first?
Well, you know, I think she'd lose that one
unless you're a puck or a wee boy.
Well, I could get shy and be like no
Imagine you farted. Where does a butto look like if it's fart? I think it's just like
Good
That was the whole thing. Yeah, that was the whole thing awesome
Yeah, I mean I mean mean, I don't know.
I would...
I'd be like, if you want to, I'd look at it real quick.
I don't know.
And then you're cool?
Yeah, I mean, I'd be like, is that... is it?
That was... how was that?
And then it's like, well...
No.
Like, what else you are about?
What a big look.
You're not gonna, you know, suddenly put on a big boy with balls and like, go...
No, no, no, listen.
You gotta work yourself up to an 8-inch big boy with balls. I go, no, no, listen, you gotta work yourself up to an eight inch big boy with balls.
I'm not working up to that.
It's not.
I'm saying like that, that is a possibility.
It's not a possibility.
No, it's definitely, yes, but you're in a very compromised state.
If you, if this, if you already spread your cheeks
for this person, maybe, maybe you let them, you know,
they, it's gotta be quick. Get out of there before you let them, you know, you, they, you got to be quick. Get
out of there before someone tries to, you know, really make it happen. What are you talking
about? Buttholes. Got it. But big buttholes. But big buttholes. You're talking about big
buttholes. You know what's funny is speaking of buttholes you see that our boy
Speaking of buttholes get ahead you see our boy bad baboonie is in the news again
The internet is tearing this boy apart this bunny apart really yeah, Benito is under fire. Don't call him that I'm gonna call him Benito. Okay, you remember you remember that Puerto Rico good time
Was that a question I thought it was rhetorical. I thought you're gonna keep going. Why is bad money in the news? So
He has a song which I'm gonna have to pull it up because you know me. I don't know any but booney songs
Le chopolo
Bobi
Bobo, but I remember that one yeah, um, but
So there is a song of his where it's
on his latest album, which I'm not going to read it.
I want you to read it.
Read what?
The name of the album.
See that word right there?
No.
Naree Sabelo.
Yes.
And then there's, come on.
Give it to me.
Kei va, pasare maniana.
There you go. all right Joey.
And he has a song called Batikarinal.
Okay.
And in the song, he talks about having sex with his current,
his current boothang, Kenner Jenner,
which we believe to be Kenner Jenner.
Right, well, that's at a big deal.
Okay, a fucking Kenner Jenner is awesome.
Is it?
Yeah, she's a pretty girl.
Oh, I mean, you said that as if it's something you've done before.
No, I'm saying like it's cool.
Like you have sex with your hot girlfriend.
Cool.
Well, he has some lyrics in there.
And the lyrics go,
a tres de lo en el todo, en el culo, el pinky.
Las monias, violeta, como tinky, winky.
¿Ve, Juan? ¿Eso es un pinky enteraso?
¿Culo?
Me voy a ir a ver.
No, no.
Una nalga y la dejo como pe...
¿Po, eh?
Le doy por donde hace a pipi y por donde hace pupo.
Pipi, pupo.
Yo he cortado un pipi, pupo. I call it a peppy poop in there. I'm not sure. Listen, use your information. Use your Spanish classes that you failed.
I think he said that he put his pinky in her asshole.
Trace Deo and El Toto and El Culo El Pinkie.
Three days I fucked her ass with my pinky.
Okay, close.
Three fingers in her ass.
No, dude.
In her pulse?
Wait, he said three fingers in her... Three fingers in her ass.
No, dude.
In her pulse?
Wait, he said three fingers in her pulse?
In her...
This is way different than I thought it was gonna be.
He made a song where he talks about putting three fingers in Ken.
Ken, Ken, Kenya?
Kenya, can you listen?
It's all you have to do here.
I'm...
So, this is a podcast and people commentate and we go back and forth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, three in the front the front in her butt the pinky
Oh
Two and three in the pink they must do a different shadow Puerto Rico because we do two in the pink one in the States
I mean that makes sense. There's four. No, you got a I know I got a brace. I know well, you know Puerto Rico
You ever put your pink never mind don't
The buds are purple like tinky winky, huh? What she got hemorrhage
Carol Jenner's got hemorrhage dude their purple the buds are purple like tinky winky who's tinky winky
Remember the fucking telly-toppies my guy. Oh, I never watched an episode of that. No, it was a little after our time.
So she's got purple hemorrhoids and he's like,
looking, that's crazy.
I, according to Bob Moon.
Yeah, I'm for him.
A slap on her butt and I leave her like Po.
Who's Po?
Another one of the Teletubbies, the red one.
Nice.
Kind of cool wordplay here.
Yes, slap her ass. Hey, I give it to her where she peas and she poops
He said that yeah, dude and the translated version of it
He's fucking can it in her a bungalow well, no that the pinky. I don't know if he no
He just said where she poops, dude where she poop. He's giving it to her
He's giving her the pinky dude. No, if he no he just said where she poops to where she poop poor he's giving it to her he's giving her the pinky dude no I think he's giving her I don't know about all that she pees either way strange that you're talking about your girlfriend
that's kind of one this this is why I was just hitting it on a vacation or something like
yeah obviously like people yeah yeah like you know sex on a yacht cool we get it yeah but like
he's sitting here telling her like yo, 3 is an albeake
You know, no, no, thinky. Yeah, like that's crazy, dude
But the reason I fuck her where she shit. That's such a weird way to say that
You know like the internet is tortured him because he's like oh bad bunny thinks that she pees out of her vagina
Well technically
No, she doesn't well, I mean it's's like... No, no, no, no, no.
Watch.
No, she doesn't.
Where does she pee?
Out of the other hole, out of the pee hole.
But I know, but that's part of the whole vagina.
No, it's not, Joey.
The vagina.
It's a part of the...
It's like, it's a different...
It's a different building on campus, you know what I'm saying?
But the vagina.
One's the rec center, one is a residence hall, one's an academic hall.
And the vagina one is the rec center one is a residence hall one's an academic Call and the vagina is the campus
But the but no the vagina is the is the dining hall no yes, dude
The trash compactor is where the pee is coming from no
Telling you the whole thing is called like the pubic area. I know that well
I don't know why that was my reaction. But I, I, uh, this is kind of crazy that like to my understanding, the Kardashians are
very like on top of their image and like how they're portrayed
by their significant others in the media.
Yeah, and now you're getting fucked in.
Now bad bunny is just like, he's like,
if you poop out of it, I'm plugging it.
Yeah, well, that's a weird way to put that.
That's what he said.
It's just like, I'm surprised that like,
they're okay, oh, maybe they're not okay with it.
I'm not sure.
Like Chris is normally on top of this stuff like
I wouldn't want that's crazy. It's not weird like would you serious question?
You don't have any children. You're alone
miserable
Sad, cold
No, say you have a daughter
Mm-hmm
And you find out her boyfriend is on a fucking rap album that is viewed by millions of people.
Basically the whole Spanish-speaking world.
And even more than that because of people that listen to it in English.
And you hear that this guy is like, I've full on put my digits in your daughter's widget.
I mean, you can safely assume that,
but I don't wanna like.
Well, listen, as a parent, I'm sure there is a safe,
there's an assumption and a hope that your child is being,
that is in a, a, a, a,
a consensual sexual, healthy relationship.
This, this is for the white,
the white talking ears.
He's talking, the white, talk as a white Frank well sometimes
No, I you I'm saying like you hope that like they're in a relationship where it's like healthy for them
But like at this point in time some people love getting
Slanned in the poop shoot. Yeah, but you don't need it. But you talking about it. I agree
Like I don't want to know if you get poop suited, you know shot in your poop and you're next dude what
You're letting them you're letting them view the Mona Lisa. It's only matter time for the spaghetti all over your butthole
You know they're throwing fucking Kansas spaghetti on your asshole
It was cake cake spaghetti whatever. No, those are not whatever. Those are different things. They're ingestible foods Joey
What would you rather what would you rather what would you rather yeah? What would you rather get pelted at your asshole?
Okay, oh really I kind of like spaghetti dude. Why?
Cake is like give or take you know like a good cake is like few and far between
But it's hard to fuck up spaghetti
We have ads. It's hard to fuck up spaghetti. How do we still have ads?
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out. Joey, back to you.
Don't do that.
Didn't like it, right?
I hated it.
It honestly worked.
It hurt my shoulder.
It hurt your body.
It did, a little bit.
Yeah, shoulder, elbow, pretty much everything from here down.
I know what an arm is, just say arm.
Okay, but there's more.
You consider your fingers a part of your arm?
That's a great question, I see.
Isn't it?
No, I don't.
I don't either.
The arm stops at the wrist.
Arm stops at the wrist, then you have your hand, which is its own entity.
Is it an arm?
Fingers are part of the hand.
Hand is not part of the arm.
Like if you lost your hand, someone, no one would go, you lost your arm.
They lost part of their arm.
No, no one would say that.
They'd say you lost your hand. Yeah lost part of their arm. No, no one would say that. They'd say you lost your hand. They would say, yeah, I would say that.
And if you lost like, here, like half of your farm,
you lost your arm.
Yeah, part of your arm.
Yeah.
If you had to get rid of three digits right now,
fingers or toes, which ones you get rid of,
oh, can I mix and match?
Yeah, of course.
You could also take like half from one half from another.
I probably get rid of like probably one of my ring fingers because like I mean hopefully not the one that would house a ring one. So the other one that I'll cut this one off because like I don't
think you really need that. I can do without that.
Yeah, you can do it without.
Take that one.
Oh, yeah.
You can give me a few little ones.
Honestly, take all except for the outside too that are good with balance.
Right, yeah, exactly.
I'm good.
Yeah, I don't care much about my toes.
Yeah, not really.
Before we get into another story that I know that we have lined up, have you saw that flag
football is coming to the Olympics? Is it really? you saw that flag football is coming to the Olympics?
Is it really? Yeah, so flag football is coming to the Olympics. I have a serious, serious question
for you. Do you think this is- No. Oh, what? What? I thought you were going to ask me if I was going
to like try out- No, Mike. That leads into my question. Do you think this is a good idea or
awful idea.
Why wouldn't they just make it football? Probably because of the violence and the aggression
and the risk for injury.
I mean, I guess.
I think, listen, all about.
All about.
I think it's cool.
I wanna see some Italian guys out there running around
catching balls.
First of all, is anyone beating a good old United
Shach how do I think so?
No shot dude. Yeah. No shot second of all like Tyree kill joins the Olympics for flag football like what's gonna happen?
It's a fairly tackled and that he honestly flagged off waste. It's not happening honestly like forget
Even like offensive key players like if you just put like you know like Tyree kill
sauce Gardener of key players. Like if you just put like you know like Tyree Kill, sauce gardener, you know like just defensive players in there,
like just debacks who have decent hands.
There's no way that anyone is gonna win ever.
There's no like fucking German. Yeah, that's gonna.
Oh, oh yeah. Who's gonna be that open against sauce?
Yeah, it's gonna be us.
Yeah, put Jalen Ramsey out there.
I just some fucking like Scandinavian guy.
I am. Yeah, right. Exactly.
What do you think the whites are gonna beat anyone from our country?
Come on, Finland. You think you have a chance?
No way. Who is Finnish, you know?
No, actually, I've read a lot about Finland about it being like a great country.
Yeah, I mean, I think like that Scandinavian also is like the healthiest people in the world, I think.
Probably. And I think like a lot of sonas
They do love their sonas. I have a house. That's the thing. That's like yeah big sauna got you know
I feel about sonas and Steve. I like sonas too in my forever home one day. I want a sauna
I would say get both sauna and steam room
I
Don't really like the steam room. Oh dude. It's the best. Why it's way better
It's just feel it opens you up more
It clears you out a lot quicker. It literally pulls out all the shit in your skin and blood
I mean I'd rather get I'm gonna get a cold plunge tub in the in the
Garage and then I saw a you get a buy house you get a build a house
I
Don't know that's a good one right it is buy the land build it up. I thought about it probably
I don't really like houses. I've looked it is by the land build it up. I thought about it probably
I don't really like houses. I've looked at houses in areas where I think I would maybe want to live where and a lot of them are like
Not old like old old is the word yeah, but like
They're old and decrepit when they're just like outdated like I like oh, yeah
I mean, I think there's a charm to certain like you know
Yeah, but I don't want to live in like a little Harry Potter house
or some shit.
Like the little miss who lived in a shoe.
What was that?
Little old lady who lived in a boot.
There was a dumb ass woman that lived in like some form
of footwear.
Yeah, like she lived in a hat or a shoe.
Yeah, I think she was like a door.
Not like, not whoa.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Like a hard beat. Like a fairy tale, like a,
like a fairy or pixie or something like that.
Yeah, like a small little fuck.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And yeah.
Who's middle, little Miss Tuffet?
Who's that?
She sat on a muffin?
What's a muffin?
No, little Miss Tuffet sat on a muffin
and ate her dog's old stew or something like that?
Aight, her dogs all
Don't quote me on that don't miss Tuffet fell in a bucket little miss
Middle little miss Muffet. Oh sat on a Tuffet. Yes, yes, what's a Tuffet?
um
Little miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds in way.
Along came a spider who sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away.
What's a tuffet? Her butt?
It's gotta be her butt, right?
Tuffet.
Damn, that's a fat tuffet.
Little, little, hang on, little, about you, Miss.
There's a bar in Brooklyn called tuffet.
A tufft or a clump of something. it a tough or a clump of something what the fuck a clump of butt clump of or a footstool or low
seat oh there is that's why got it but I I think the whole flag football thing
is an awful idea why I have suck like I don't know why but there is something so
hysterical about me about grown men and women being so into like wreck sports.
Frank, are you familiar with all of the Olympics?
But like, the reason it came up was my brother,
like I joke about it a lot is because my brother's once
posted a picture and it was their grown adult men softball team and it said hashtag more than
softball and I said to them I was like the joke is the obvious joke is that it's just softball
it's not hashtag more than anything okay it's just the hashtag just softball right and like
the idea of like grown-ass men like hitting a softball 300 feet and just like flexing, it's like,
back, it's so cringeworthy to me.
So like the idea that like now, like people are gonna go
insanely hard for flag football is hysterical.
You don't like when people like stuff, do you?
Don't, that's what you're doing.
Don't, some people like football, bitch!
Don't, you, I, let me tell you something. Don't, don't, don't, don't. That's what you're doing. DOOM! Some people like SUMFUL BITCH! DOOM!
You...
I...
Let me tell you something.
DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM!
DOOM!
Because if anyone here...
If anyone here hates when people like something, it's fucking you bitch.
Different.
I hate when people like believe in things.
And that I hate.
Okay.
And when people have beliefs, I don't like that.
You also hate when people like something.
Because you don't like it.
That's not true.
Yes it is. No, it's not true. I had a conversation this weekend with someone and we agreed. You... If you know someone else like something and you don't like it. That's not true. I had a conversation this weekend with someone and we agreed.
If you know someone else like something and you don't like it, you hate it.
Wait, what?
Yeah, bitch.
It was about, we were talking about extra dirty martinis.
Oh, disgusting.
No, they're not.
Okay, fine.
But that's how opinions work.
No fuck your opinion.
Your opinion sucks.
Yeah.
But think about this.
Think about Sunday mornings, right?
Sunday morning is falling.
Yeah, I had to.
I'm sorry, you can't say that.
I know, it's tough.
Go ahead.
But you're saying Sunday morning and like you know football is going to be on.
Yes, right?
But in the morning you wake up and you don't travel too far, nothing crazy.
Yeah.
But then you get to a softball field and you,
and you have a couple of bays,
and you hit a couple balls.
Yeah, I think that's fine as long as you are,
as long as you have the awareness to know that like,
oh, it's a fun game.
Yeah.
The people that are just like, I'm fucking two-time softball league MVP.
That's, I'm good.
I could do it.
Like, you're playing slow pitch softball with a ball that's basically a rubber sponge.
You know, I've never played softball.
What did you say the other day that you've also never, oh, you've never had something
from Starbucks?
Never had Starbucks.
You've never had a place softball. Starbucks you've never had a place off ball
Yeah, I just we can make that happen in one quick day gets Starbucks and go play softball
Yeah, that sounds like a normal day for a lot of people and it's you know
It's fun when you're taking it in as a good fun. Just game, but like when you're taking it
Joey
But like the people that are like this is like my fucking everything to me. Well, I mean, dude
I'm pissing off a ton of people right probably yeah
Probably a lot of people who play Sunday morning sports Josh was editing this yeah, Josh is pissed
But Josh is a meathead and he's bigger than me and will beat me up
So he's allowed to be I'm not offending him, you know, yeah
I think the last time I saw him, I like gave him a hug.
And he was like, when he hugged me,
he was like, I can fucking put you in a Camaro right now.
And I was just like, just say hi.
Yeah, just don't do that.
Just don't do that.
Also, I wanted to talk about the other thing
that you brought up, which I want to know more about.
I don't know if you know more about it.
I probably don't, but the one with the woman
who wants to fuck a roller coaster.
Yes.
No, not just fuck a roller coaster,
because we've talked about that before.
Is it dude?
And a dude was fucking his car.
I don't, honestly, there was a guy fucking his car.
People have been fucking roller coasters since.
Yeah, a woman was kissing roller coasters.
Yeah, she was like, yeah.
Like fuck.
But apparently this one was on, she's on a quest.
She's on a mission.
She's on a mission.
Not like the missions you went on as a kid where you would go, you know, with your church
and like, those weird priests would undress you.
I've never, I, there is an anonymous, anonymous redditor who is on a country wide mission to
have sex with every roller coaster.
And it's not what you think.
What do you mean?
Clickbait, roll credits.
I think it's all that.
Hold open.
It's not what you think.
Don't do it.
It's over.
Welcome back.
I think that here's what I think.
She rubs her vagina all over them.
No.
So she gets in it and masturbates.
No.
So she spits on it. Let me literally all you have
to do is stop for a split second and I'll finish. She loves up a part of it and just, Derek said,
too. Can you imagine jerk it? But then what is she jerking off? Like that's going to, that's scary
for everybody. Imagine jerking off the Hulk. Here's a real question. Yeah.
That is a real question.
Yeah, it is.
Mine is a little more real.
Okay.
If you wanna have sex at a roller coaster,
are you having sex with the structural base of this thing
or the cars?
Are the cars like a roller coaster?
It's the structure, right?
It's the structure.
Because the cars are like sunglasses for us.
It's an accessory.
Yes, exactly.
Exactly.
If you will.
Glass, think of it like glasses.
Right.
You can't see without the glasses,
put the glasses on, you can see.
Rollercoaster nothing without its carts.
Yeah, but it's still technically a rollercoaster.
Think about it, yeah, exactly.
Like if you put a rollercoaster that had no cars,
it's still a rollercoaster.
It's just missing some cars.
It's just missing, it's not gonna operate and function at nearly zero. Car without a rollercoaster, it's not a roller coaster that had no cars. It's still a roller coaster. It's just missing some cars. It's not gonna operate and function.
And the car that a roller coaster,
it's not a roller coaster.
So it's the coaster.
It's the car that makes the coaster,
not the coaster that makes the car.
Yeah.
Wait, no, hold on, that's not, yeah.
The coaster that makes the car,
when I'm confused.
It gives it meaning, it's frogs and totes.
Don't even.
I did.
Okay.
And there's physically nothing you can do about it. Frankie, how does she do this? It gives it meaning, it's frogs and totes. Don't even. I did. Okay.
And there's physically nothing you can do about it.
Frankie, how does she do this?
So, what's up asking, like you were waiting for me to answer?
You asked 38 questions, and the, no, I was guessing of how she had sex with the rollercoaster.
She just gets on the rollercoasters, and the thrill of the rollercoaster brings her to
climax and full fucking orgasm
So like she just rides it she just rides it
You know she gets and she and she and she yeah, and she's on a mission
But she wants to stay anonymous because she doesn't want to make other people feel uncomfortable
Imagine if they're gonna feel uncomfortable when you're oh
Yeah, but like people make weird noises
on roller coasters all the time, dude.
No one fucking orgasms, dude.
Some people mind.
Some people go, whoa.
You don't get that feeling in your stomach,
like it feels like you're, you're peep,
you know what I like butterflies?
What was the pee?
I don't know.
What was peep?
The reason I say, all right, so,
there was, am I gonna care about this?
Probably not.
Okay, there was, it's a quick story.
When we were kids and we would drive to the lake house,
my dad would take a back road.
And when we'd be on the drive, my dad would say,
like, guys, which way you want me to go?
My brothers and I would say, the peepee way.
Because, what is the peepee way?
What's up and down? That's not peepee way?
What's up and down that's not peepee?
Why is that the peepee way? It was a root.
You were about to say like peepee?
You just got to say that like out loud like the fuck?
Wait, so why was it peepee?
It was a root that like was like so like bendy swervy swervy and double swervy
Yeah, and hilly that there was always one hill that when you went over you got like that butterfly in your stomach
But we always say like you feel it in your pee pee my brothers and I I don't feel any of that
I feel all of it like here. Yeah, well, we didn't understand
Like oh my god, I thought that on my pee pee. This is before there was like you know I feel all that like here. Yeah, well, we didn't understand
Like oh my god, I thought that on my feet. This is before there was like, you know, we were kids dude Your dad's in the front seat. Oh, we're going to be be like you want to go the orgasm
Who wants to come huh back there?
We're listening to fucking puddle a mud yeah creed
That's where we're listening to fucking puddle of mud. Yeah.
Creed.
What?
Oh, shit.
I can't control you.
You know?
Yeah.
And you went the peepy way.
And we went the peepy way.
But that's how she gets off on these roller coasters.
That's crazy.
So I have some questions for you.
Yeah.
You've been a six flags.
No.
Okay.
All right, well, I've been so over.
Thanks for coming by. I'm glad you left it for now. But, uh, wait, you've never been
this, you used to go as kids. No, I never went. What? Yeah, I never went to six flags. Really?
No. Okay. I've been to Splish Blash. All right. Have you been to any place that has a rollercoaster?
Yeah, like, uh, universal. Okay. Yeah. So you've been on splish blash. All right. Have you been to any place that has a roller coaster? Yeah, like a universal.
Okay. Yeah.
So you've been on roller coasters.
Yeah. Have there ever been any that have ever came for you?
Never.
No, not once.
Never came.
Not even just like a little cum.
Not like a little like you like this could get you there.
No, I just have fun.
I yell a little bit.
What you yell on roller coasters.
Whoa.
Oh. Which I guess what's the difference? I guess. What are you yelling rollercoaster? Whoa, oh!
Which I guess? What's the difference?
What's the difference?
Well, the difference is I'm not coming.
I'm just making this a big difference.
You know, that's the one.
Yeah, no, never came in a rollercoaster.
Have there been any that you think would actually do it?
I remember you were telling me that the Velocicoster,
the new Jurassic Park one, it's pretty like,
yeah, I'm not coming on that dumb,
my ticket for anything is like inverted.
Yeah, cause it was, it's a lot.
Uh huh.
There was a part where it was swinging back and forth
in my neck, I was like, uh.
You're such a fucking old bitch.
Have fun.
Frankie, you like said back to you and pulled your shoulder.
Like are you kidding me? I'm on a fucking coaster going a thousand. Listen as someone that has been on many roller coasters in two parks
Three four I guess yeah, El Toro can get you there El Toro. You're gonna like King Decah
I could see why someone would feel like
you're getting that King Decah.
You know what I'm saying?
Okay.
Nitro.
These are all six flags ones.
Boulder dash at Lake Compounds in Connecticut.
You haven't been there?
No.
Boy, that'll have you feeling a certain way.
The wild cap, but it's a little rickety.
That's like the old boomer.
I don't like rickety shit. Yes, a little scary. I don't know like the old boomer. I don't like rickety shit.
Yes, a little scary.
I don't know if it's there anymore.
I haven't been in a long time.
Are you afraid of things?
Yes, I am.
I met like, would you get on those rides that like,
they put you in like a little ball
and I just shoot it.
With out of doubt I would do.
Really?
I've done the Skycoaster where,
or Bungie jumping, you know, thing where, they put you in a harness and they bring you up like that
And then you let go and you fall and it catches you and you swing. Yeah, I don't know that I would do that
I've done that at I could be convinced the one at Lake Compound was tall and I went on with Steven and patty
And I was the one that had a pull because you have to pull your own thing
Uh-huh, and I'd be like I'm gonna do whatever
What am I gonna do?
I'd fuck with them and it's shit is fucking fun. Yeah, I've seen I've seen that but like
And I also saw that thing. I don't know what it's called
But when they're just in the ball and they shoot you in the air. Yeah, all the videos of the people like passing out on that
well
My what they do now and I don't know how you feel about this
I would get a kick out of it
But they do like they like fuck with them now so they'll be like oh you're not strapped in if you don't strap
Like go tighter
You're gonna fall out and they'll be like what and as they look down to be like huh?
They fucking yeah, yeah, send them flying. Yeah, that shit is crazy every time I see one of those videos now
It's either someone passing out or a girl with huge tits. Oh
I don't think I've seen the tit ones. I've seen the passing out ones quite a bit
I've see yeah, those are always fun because they come to and they're like I mean this guy
Well, it's a girl with like
They're getting launched up so it's like normal and then all of a sudden she's on her way down her
Just just to your drop out. Yeah, well, I don't know that they're out I they're just like holy hell and that's the whole video. Yeah
That's all right
Yeah, and then and then you come and then you're done watching the video
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Why'd you look at me like a proud father? I'm very proud of you.
Are you? Yes. Okay. What else did we have today? I forget. Oh! There's a tick tocker who doesn't
wipe a ass? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to say her name, but I feel bad. But yeah. So,
clearly she doesn't she fucking post it about it. Yeah. Well, you know, we're not going to post,
we're not going to promote her because this isn in free, we just read ads, come on.
But yes, correct.
So there is a tiktokker who, she, she's a comedian, but she says she actually doesn't wipe
her ass because she believes that God did not give us an ass worth wiping, you know, basically
saying like no other human,
no other animal wipes their butts, so why should we?
Interesting though. No? No. Interesting? No. But every other, no other, no other
animal has an ass quite like mine. Bro. But think about this, right? My dog. Yes.
Fluffy. Yeah, but you, but it's assholes in in the in the wind, dude, but not all the time. It doesn't
Yes, it is. It does. Sometimes he's your dog doesn't have cheeks, dude. Your dog has no cheeks. None. Your dog is built like a fucking
Plank of wood
His asshole. He walks in this room right now. I could I can make eye contact with his asshole
Yeah, because he just got groomed is a big asshole episode it's a yeah the whole thing is but she should
be called the butthole show this is why you don't
I'm right he is right he is very right about that no but it is interesting
because I'm like there's only been a few times where I'm like all right I got
it like pull a pull better Charlie Charlie's butt. Pull? Pull.
Oh, you've told this.
This sucks.
But like, for the most part, he's taking dumps.
And like, there's no residue, there's nothing.
Isn't that kind of crazy?
Yeah, but that's because his butt is made like that.
Like, art, think, what are the animals?
Is it the same?
No, we don't, dude.
Our butthole is behind a fucking castle wall of cheeks.
But Frank, when you sit down to,
you, yeah, it opens.
Yeah, because you sit on something
and your asshole goes lower than the seat
and it moves your cheeks out of the way.
Yeah.
So then it's, so then at that moment,
it's the same.
No, it's not though,
because there's still,
there's still like the moment you like, there's more, there's more to navigate through there. Dude, you know not though, because there's still, there's still like the moment you like,
there's more,
there's more to navigate through there.
Dude, you know, I wish I had a dog's butt.
Are you kidding me?
You wish you had a dog's butt.
Just like, it would be way easier.
What about nipples?
Hmm, give me gorilla nipples.
You want long gorilla nipples?
I've seen a gorilla like pull their nipple like hard dude. Actually, no, yeah, you're right. I don't want any nipples
Fucking take the nipple list take them. Yeah, what do I need them for?
like
Visual reasons
Visual what if you were walking around to like on vacation or at the beach or something and like
Just there's a dude with no nipples. I was just like Kylex wine it and I had like no belly button no nipples
I'd be fine with that don't need either of those things really. Yeah, why?
I don't know
You you like it because you like your nipples you like nipple play
I like nipple play dude. We've gotten enough packages of fucking like nipple clamps and nipple electrocuters that like
Electrocuters. Yeah, I've never seen that you definitely have that I know like it's not a it
I don't like my nipples being like pulled
It's because they have been yeah, oh there it is folks
Which is because they have been doesn't mean that I like you've done things that you don't necessarily do all the time
Yeah, but if I don't do them it's because I don't like them
Right, I don't have a thing they've happened multiple times. It's because there's a smidge
Who said multiple times how many times how many times what how many times your nipples been pulled them played with
Honestly
Yeah, see exactly. Yeah, my point exactly
But not your big nipple playboy.
No, not in a real manner, like a joking manner.
Who joking, oh, these are the same people that sucked on your nipples jokingly.
Joey, we rediscovered in an episode recently that Joey likes when his nipples get sucked.
That's not you.
And now played with, dude.
That's not what I said.
You said it was a playful thing where someone sucked on your nipples.
No.
Mouth, suction around your nipples.
Frankie, first of all, I don't know what to say.
I got him, folks.
No, you don't have him.
I got him.
You don't have him.
I am free from you.
Gotcha.
You don't.
Gotcha, I'm over here, though.
No.
You don't have.
No, I figured out how to stump you and it's by revealing to the world that you're a big fucking nipple playboy
I'm not though. You've had someone suck on them play with them. What's next?
Most people have Frank oh
I thought you meant to you. I was gonna say why not me
Wait, most people have what I thought you met like most people play with my nipples
I'm gonna say oh I have it. What the fuck am I not in this cool party? No
No, I'm saying like most people have had their nipples touched before touch. Yes, so people have touched my nipples before
Yes, not pumped about it. Who said I was pumped you did no I didn't yes you did I said it has happened
You're like you love it. Yeah, you do because you knew also had someone suck on them
No one's ever had see I got him no space he's blushing
No, yeah, I have to fart do it. No, please. Oh speaking of farting. That's so funny that we brought that up. I got a DM the other day.
And I screenshot because it was funny.
It said, I'm gonna shoot my shot.
I just saw a clip of the basement yard and you farted.
My kind of guy.
What?
If you ever find yourself in Chicago, let me know.
For what?
Forks?
A big fart time.
A what fun time.
Yeah, like what are we talking about here?
You want me to blow forks on you? What's going on? A big fart time what fun. Yeah, like what are we talking about here? You want me to blow Farts on you?
What's going on big fart time? Yeah, well you just are you farted my kind of guy my
That's the that's the standard yeah, oh, I like a guy of fart
Yeah, oh, then I guess I am very much not this person's kind of guy. Yeah, you know fart
Imagine being like so like you're like-
You fart when knowing the wrong?
Of course everyone fart's, Joey.
Yeah, but you like-
But I'm not like making like a show of it, like you do.
I know you do.
I know you do.
You do make a show of it.
I'm not, listen, the fact that my body makes guess
it's not my fault.
I know it's not your fault, but what you do with it
is definitely your fault.
What would you have me do?
Just let it just make it be normal.
If it's loud or something you apologize to the room, if it stinks, you deny it.
I'm picturing Frankie farting by himself and going, apologize.
I'm sorry guys.
Apologies.
He fucking says sorry to his action figures. Sorry. Sorry
Fucking superman. This is all right now. This is getting out of hand
Oh, I didn't know you were there. He man
Oh, yeah, first of all a little before our time. He man don't have he man. I don't have any he-man
No, no, none. I swore the last time I was there. I saw a hemen. I promise you.
I have none. No, I believe you. I hope I know the zero. Zero. You might be confusing my small
soldiers. No, I remember. I know them. You know, you know, those are cool. Those I wouldn't fart
in front of. No. Who's the moment that I and like the crazy hair. Um, he spins.
Oh, Insane-y-ac.
That's it.
You know it's funny,
is I pitched a Patreon episode for you and I recently,
where I said I have to ask you questions.
One of those questions was, what's this guy?
And it was gonna be him.
Really?
I swear to God.
Yeah. Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, pick a different one,
because I know anyone's mind.
I'm 100% yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, yeah. No, I'll fuck you anyone's major percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. No, I'll fuck you.
I don't, I, wait, what?
Why do you immediately have to take shots
at my fucking toy collecting?
It's all I got.
It is.
It is.
It is, but it's the fun one.
At least you're aware of it.
Yeah.
So now you're just, you're red at DM here.
You're opening yourself to more crazy DMs.
Well, I don't wanna be far, I don't send DMs. Hey, what would you do if that part if you actually took that person up like all right
Yeah, I'll be in Chicago this week. Let's what do you want to do? I'm I'll save up a big fart. I'll fucking let's let's fart together
Together, let's meet up and just set it off
fart meet up
off to start fart me up.
Good well, it laughs at folks.
Fun, fun, fun, fun time while I was. That doesn't remind me of what I was.
I almost crashed my car.
I was in the car with Keith.
He was driving and he's just like in one of these mues
where he's like making judge like whatever
and nothing's landing and we're out. It's just like I'm just not laughing, but he's like making judge like whatever nothing's landing and we're out
It's just like I'm just not laughing, but he's like laughing at the fact that I'm not laughing and then we pull up
On this street and there's like four buses in a row
Just like on the sidewalk like parked for some reason and Keith just goes hmm
Bus party lost my fucking mind dude. He's my mm bus party and I
Was fucking through my head back. I was like, ah these jokes suck. Yeah, I'm in bus party
But but but they work. Yeah, mm bus party
But it's crazy that I actually got that question that I like you know
You pick that one out of all of them.
Yeah, yeah, that is crazy.
Yeah, it's a small soldier. It's a good movie.
Great movie.
I wish my toys would come alive even though I don't really have any anymore.
Yeah, first of all, your toys now are like fucking your Rolex and stuff and I can only imagine what it would say.
First of all, watches don't talk in any movie.
I'll be reading the beast.
Does that... That's a clot. I'll be reading the beast.
Does it?
That's a clock.
I was gonna say, it's not a watch.
Sure.
I don't think watches were invented at that point in time.
Really?
Yeah.
That's not like I farted.
Why did you fart?
Oh, well, just fart.
So loud.
No.
I think you just wanted to flex your arm, dude.
No, if I wanted to flex, I wouldn't.
You're the big flex.
Do it, do it, do it. Oh, you're shy now to flex your arm, dude. No, if I wanted to flex I wouldn't you're the big flex dude. Do it do it do it
Oh, you're shy now Flex your arm
That was just you twirling your wrists
I like that
Yeah, why did you say that like that? Oh like that. You just gonna be dead. I said do you like that? No?
No, no not one bit not one bit dude. All right. Come on be dead. I said, do you like that? No, no,
not one bit. Not one bit, dude. All right. Come on. Anyway, yeah. Yeah. Let's get out of here,
Frank. If Alvers 85 on Twitter, the Frank Alvers and all the forms of social media, go check
out the Patreon, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you for getting us over 26. We got
some fun stuff coming away exclusively for our patrons. So get us 27 and maybe you'll
see Joey naked, probably not, maybe, maybe probably definitely will and then you could follow the basement yard
I don't all forms of social media go check it out appreciate it Joey
Oh, that was not okay. Yeah go follow me at Joe Sanegato and go follow the show at
The basement yard on tic-toc and Instagram I already said that and
If you want some merch, we have some Halloween
exclusive merch. And if you're a patron, you also get a promo code for the first
seven days. I believe it's 15% off, 15% or 20% off something like that. But yeah,
so another reason to sign up for the Patreon. But yeah, go to shop.santa.gov.studios.com
for that. And that is all.
Show us your nipples.
We're not showing anyone nipples. Show your nipples.
Why would I ever do that?
You showed your nipples.
Have I?
I think so.
Pa. Sorry.
They're not sweet.
If they were cooler, you'd show them.
100% dude.
100%.
There's nothing wrong with your nipples.
They suck. Bye, guys.
All right. 100% dude. 100% There's nothing wrong with your nipple. They suck. Bye guys.