The Basement Yard - #426 - Kim K's New Nipple Bra

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard Frank. Yeah, here we go. Welcome back. Fucking Mr. Fucking proper. That's a really nice shirt. I have to admit. It's not a shirt. It's a sweatshirt. It's a sweatshirt. I'm all over the place right now. I feel good. Oh, you got that new holiday merch on. Woo! And I got some new holiday merch too. Look at that, this holiday merch. What are they? What are they? Santa in Santa Gato Studios. Oh, a little self-centered.
Starting point is 00:00:30 But. What do you mean? That's my dog. That's me with a white bearded. Which dude, I might do that one day. Why, first of all, you should. Second of all, why is your dog higher up on the tree than me? Everyone knows that the better ornaments get put at the top.
Starting point is 00:00:43 I don't believe that. Yeah, you do. I level as the best. Because I like that. Yeah, and you're not fucking four feet tall. Yeah, I know. We talk about my tree seven and a half feet tall. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:00:52 I just thought, well, here he's fucking, you heard that, right? They heard that simple flex. First of all. I have a 38 feet tall tree. Did the fake tree or real tree? Real tree, I'll never get a fake tree. Really? Yeah, like if Becca offered, she was like, let's just do a fake tree.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Seriously? No jokes aside. Did Mexican violence? Well, I wouldn't go that far. I didn't know where you were going. I was gonna say divorce. Close, do you even be easy? Do you?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Same thing. As the kids say, these new holiday merch designs really went off for real for real. Dude, please don't ever say that. No, no, not good. don't ever say that no no no I'm gonna say that ever again what are they all right they popped off they they've they've they went they went sicko mode for real for real I don't know they went sicko mode isn't it better though that I don't know the lingo. So you guys can go to shop.standinggottsudios.com and get some holiday merch. But yeah, there's some nits up there that are limited
Starting point is 00:01:51 and those take a little more time to process. So you have to order those a little quicker. But this stuff, that stuff, and there's some other things on the website as well on like hoodies and crewnecks that you guys can get up until like mid-December, I believe. So there are no brainers. Just pay attention, it's all on the site.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Listen, there's plenty of ways you can, you know, gift the gift of the basement yard to your friends or family that love the show. So, or themselves, you know, and get on them soon because then you can guarantee that they're gonna be to you hopefully by the holidays. I don't know, I don't know, you celebrate Wednesday. What's Hanukkah?
Starting point is 00:02:24 What is it? No, I know what it is. Hmm. I barely yeah very clearly barely when days gifts big menorah Lighting candles. Yes. Yes. Yes. Dreadels Dreadels are a part of it. Sometimes some time hollow bread. Oh, again. I asked when not what it's around there It's soon, right? I don't know. All right. Well go check it out There's an overlap with Christmas. Sometimes sometimes it doesn't I think it has something to do with the moon that I know Wait, first of all, I'm not kidding. I was gonna make a joke that I had to do with the moon No, I'm pretty sure that I like I think we looked it up last year around this time because our brain capacity stops and starts at 364 days. Yes
Starting point is 00:03:03 when does Hanukkah begin? Hanukkah starts. I'd like a menorah. Am I allowed to have a menorah? We'll start on the evening of Thursday, December 7th, and it will end on Friday, December 15th, early Hanukkah this year. Oh!
Starting point is 00:03:18 All right, good. Let them have the time to celebrate and kind of enjoy their own time. And then it's Chinese food and movies on December 25th. You do Chinese food? No, the Jews do. Oh, well, the ones that I know. Oh, they're always like, yeah, Chinese food and-
Starting point is 00:03:32 Oh, I didn't know. We get Chinese food for New Year- For what? For Christmas. Beck and I have made it like a thing, we watch a movie and we get Chinese food. That's Jewish. Oh, well, you're appropriating Jewish culture. I'm not appropriating Jewish, anything.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Yeah, you are. The Jews will share. Sure they will. No, no, no, no, no. The holiday is over. I know, I'm not doing it in honor of Hanukkah. It's just because we're so tired and we're prepping for new years. Like Chinese food, why that food?
Starting point is 00:04:00 It's like a thing, I don't know. Also, who really says no to Chinese food? Oh, I don't really love it. It's like a thing. I don't know. Also, what are you gonna like who really says no to Chinese food? Oh, I'm a, I don't really love it. It's okay. If it's done well, it's good. If it's done. There's a lot of foods that are like more than that. I think Mexican food is like my favorite food. Really? Yeah. Oh my god, Mexican. Dude, how is that not your favorite food? Your favorite food, but your least favorite people. How does that line up? I think you don't even begin to make jokes like that. How does that line up? I think you don't even begin to make jokes like that. Because I order a lot. Yeah. Mexican food. Okay. Um, I would say Mexican maybe top, definitely top 10.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Cause I can probably only, Hey, I can't even name 10 cuisines. I would say Greek and Italian are within the top five easily. So black, yeah. Yeah, you're all pastiche of it. easily. So Black Yaw? Not Gia-Yahiro, see. You know. Pasti, si ofeda, galectuburigo, caserigo, lo garriera. They got Spanish at the end. No, it was, that's a Greek cheese.
Starting point is 00:04:53 Okay. And then Italian. I do like Italian. But I think Greek might be a little higher than Italian. It has like Mediterranean. Well, tomato and potato there. They're both in the same exact place. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh... By the way, I don't even talk about the ornament thing. Did you have a favorite ornament grown up? Still do. Which one?
Starting point is 00:05:15 Is it on your tree or is it on your mom's tree? Well, my mom, when we left the Astoria House, she gave us, like, boxes of our ornaments, and said, like like I'm keeping some of them but here are the ones that I will give to you. One of my favorite ones is when we were kids, like I must have been like 13 or 14, I got a Jerry Rice, like in the Niners making a catch. I love that so much. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:41 I love that so much. Do you have it? Yeah. Okay. And then there's one I have that is one year, I love that so much. Do you have it? Yeah. Okay. And then there's one I have that is one year, I don't remember one. It must have been like 94. My mom got my brothers and I,
Starting point is 00:05:52 these little green dinosaurs that are on like skateboards. And then my sister had a pink dinosaur, green and pink, boy girl. Yeah. Obviously. Tender rolls. Yeah, of course. And I loved it so much.
Starting point is 00:06:03 I still love it. So it's funny because my answer is way Like different than yours. Tell me it's gonna be just like a regular like circle like no, no, no, no, no Glass bobble. No, it's it's an ornament. It's heavy. It's a baby in a crib, right? And then there's a thing that comes out the bottom that you plug into one of the light things and then you press a button and it sings a song Terrifying and then I and, I usually when I was younger, I would go into the baby's crib and I would, I would like, go like this to the baby's cheek.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Oh, you'd play with it. But it's supposed to be me. Oh, like my mom got it for me, like this is you. You're a baby, I got you this thing, it's a crib, but it's an ornament and I used to go in and I used to pet my own cheek. Yeah, let me know when you're done. And I'll tell you.
Starting point is 00:06:41 For the god of death. That's creepy. I swear to god. It's a little creepy. Yeah, but it's real, this is real life, Frank. We don't lie. No, well good. I'm glad you're not lying to me and I'm glad you're done. I'll tell you. That's creepy. I swear to God. That's a little creepy. Yeah, but it's real. This is real life, Frank. We don't lie. Oh, well good. I'm glad you're not lying to me, and I'm glad you're not lying to them, the people. But kind of weird.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I was sitting there and you're like, fucking fingering your little baby self. No one's fingering, bro. You said you'd go in there, and I know you were doing it to the cheek. I'm caressing the cheek. Yeah, but no one's fingering a baby. If you were that, you can't say on YouTube. That I'm certain of. So that's where don't even clip that Don't clip that leave that out of the clip
Starting point is 00:07:09 Jesus Christ That's not what happened though. I'm glad you said it this time and not me the person Normally says the dumb stuff, but it had like the the baby had like blankets We started so Becca and I another one that I would say is probably my number one is we started when we first started dating We promised every year that we would get each other an ornament. It's getting out of hand now We're gonna look we got a lot of ordinance But there was one year That we both got each other the exact same ornament. Yeah, it's a curmit like kind of talking through that like cone thing the
Starting point is 00:07:42 Directors would use sitting in a directors chair We got the exact same one for each other and it was so it was so cute and that's probably my favorite but I'm a big Christmas ornament guy like I want a tree in like 30 years that is just ornaments just like yeah that's how you do you know you know but like oh now I love a tree with ornaments like too many you know what I mean like I don't like that and the ones we don't like that much go to the back of the tree. He needs a good balance.
Starting point is 00:08:07 No, no, I'm not gonna lie. So obviously my parents are separated, but there was an ornament where it was like, they are! No, there was an ornament that had like their anniversary or whatever. I remember it wouldn't go up and I was so confused and I was younger like, why don't we put this one? It's a nice one. I remember that.
Starting point is 00:08:24 You know, I was just like, leave that one in the fucking bin. Basically, yeah. I just thought of that right now younger like, why don't we put on this one? It's a nice one. I remember that. You always just like leave that one in the fucking bin. Basically, yeah. I just thought of that right now. Yeah, we had some. Don't be doing that up again, but, you know. Yeah, no. We had some that were like made, because I don't know if you know,
Starting point is 00:08:34 my parents are also divorced. Big time I know that. Yeah, we had some that were made that were like, frank and Nancy, you know, and if we like them hugging and like the kids, those made it on the tree, but like I knew like my mom was like, she had like, kind of grid her teeth and bear it when those went up. Do you have any ones that you like made in school?
Starting point is 00:08:52 Oh, yeah. I have ones of me in school and I'm like holding a lunch box. Yeah. It's like, it's like made of sticks. Yeah, I think, I think we have the exact same one from second grade. Yep. Where it's like, and you put,. And you would like crimp the tissue paper and glue it on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Yes. Yeah, shout out Miss Macchio, dude, RIP. I don't know. She's got it. If she's still kicking, she's got to be in her hundreds. Well, we're talking about Guinness World record type of shit if she's still alive. Look, Jit, one of the oldest people I ever saw.
Starting point is 00:09:18 The day I saw her. 24 years ago. Yeah, like the day I saw her, I was like, fucking old. Yes. And she's still still. Maybe she is, maybe she's not. Miss Franco, now that woman looked dead when I met her.
Starting point is 00:09:29 And has since been come dead, she is dead. She did it, she did the thing. Good for her, dude. She was my mom's, she was tired, it's like we're just slightly good. She was my mom's teacher and then my brother's teacher. Holy shit, she could have been our teacher but she wasn't, she's like teaching. Yeah, yeah, yeah, old women, women man old women are just old as shit You know and like that's when like teachers would like old people get so small dude
Starting point is 00:09:53 I swear to God is that I am so worried because I am we're gonna shrink Dude is it gravity that I think me down? I think it's their bones like in between their bones Just like where there's a way so like getting they're just like little bags of fucking meat and bones And it's so sad. Who is that? I don't like it. I don't fuck with it. It starts a wilt It's gonna be tough for you because you're short as it is So you're gonna get down to like don't even start Frank if you lose like four or five inches You'll get down to like four foot eight how the hell okay? Here we go. How you even get a lift? Yeah, exactly no one loses four inches relax, but I have seen an old woman and I'm like, what happened to you?
Starting point is 00:10:25 Dude, now you're a Pipsqueak, and I've seen you when I was younger, and you were full of life. I love what it's like pictures of people from the 60s, and they're like, oh, look at her, she's so beautiful, and it's like, everyone was kind of ugly back then. They all look like Russian dolls.
Starting point is 00:10:38 They just didn't smile, they weren't happy. Yeah, why did everyone look like they killed your fucking beloved one in front of you, and took a picture a lot a lot of a D.V. Back then Merry Christmas. That's a Christmas car like what are we doing? Yeah a lot of D.V. Back then a lot of like parents hitting their kids beating them up pretty bad It wasn't domestic violence back then. It was just like a Wednesday. It was but it was like love, you know? No That's what it was. I know that's what they would that's what they would call it Yeah, that's where the doing this because I love you. I know exactly that's where the term I heard that I
Starting point is 00:11:11 Yeah, it's Joey. I think that's where the term rule of thumb came from is like we've talked about this before You don't remember this no, it's like the idea that like it was not it was okay And you wouldn't get in trouble like legally. If you hit someone with something that was thinner than your thumb or something like that, or like smaller than your thumb. No. Like everyone had uniform thumbs out there. What's fucking wrong with those idiot fucking Americans?
Starting point is 00:11:37 I mean, I guess that's a fair, like what is smaller than that? Oh, belt, dude. I guess if you turn it about sideways. Yeah, a belt, man. But the belt the other way is bigger than your thigh. I don't know if it's like thinner this way or thinner this way, but like either way there are some bro extension cords. Yeah, dude, whoever taught my dad to hit people with belts, I don't forgive you.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Bro, my, my, I don't know if it was my mom or my dad once hit me with a twizzler. Basically a wet is hard. That is hard. Basically a weapon. Yeah, no, that's definitely a weapon. I've hit myself in the leg with one, thinking I was making a joke. Oh yeah? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:12:12 I wasn't trying to whip myself sexually, Frank. I was just trying to get some attention. Probably from a girl. What's the difference? What was I saying? Tension from a girl or sexual? Oh yeah, I guess. You do the thing growing up?
Starting point is 00:12:25 I know I didn't. You know I did where like you like do a stunt and then you're in such pain like, oh, ah, and you get up, you're like, I'm good. Oh, first of all, you said do a stunt back there. What the fuck does that mean? Evil, con evil. What does do a stunt? Like jump off a park bench?
Starting point is 00:12:42 Yeah, like we would like go like, we grew up, we talked about it with Cody, go check it out, Cody, Cody, Coach Fanon, best friend, honestly, now. We would go like bush diving, yeah. And like, if you were to do it around girls, it'd be like, oh shit, I remember one of my moves was like, I was dating this girl, and when she would come around, it was like winter time.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Like at first, it was winter time. So I would always run. Remember on the corners, people would just pile up the snow. I would run as hard as I could and try to dive through it. And after like two days, it was just solid ice. So it would hurt. And I, ah, oh. And you would get some pity.
Starting point is 00:13:18 Oh, no. Yeah. The pity felt nice. And the idea was like, oh, like he's such a fucking hard badass. Because you're in pain. Because... He was dumb. Yeah, I know that. Yeah, I mean, I remember I got a black eye once and I was pretty psyched.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Because I was like, I look so cool. What did you get a black eye? Uh, in middle school I was playing basketball, got elbowed right in the fucking eye. Oh. I've never had a black... I In middle school, I was playing basketball, I got an elbow during the fucking night. Oh. I've never had a black, I've had black nuts. I've said that before. Yeah, but I've never blacked that. People out there, Joey's walking around with a black eye
Starting point is 00:13:53 that goes like, oh my god, you're so sweet. I'm like, my fucking balls, my balls are black right now dude. Yeah, but yeah, black eye, what is it? We just like that and like cuts on your face. I think there was like a thing growing up that like if you were like more rugged and like you know like tough You would have like battle scars, right? I remember I once like in conversation with a girl told her I was like my legs are mostly scars which they're not They're they're legs
Starting point is 00:14:22 Say it. Oh god. Yeah. My legs are mostly scar. Yeah dude. Did she say why? I mean, did you say why? But the funny part is like, my legs are mostly scar. That's where they're all legs. Like they're not mostly anything else. They're all entirely legs.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Frank. You said my legs are mostly scar. Yeah yeah. entirely legs. Frank. You said my legs are mostly skulls. Yeah, yeah. What was our response? I imagine it was something stupid like just being like, she never said like, oh what happened? Oh like Probably I remember I dated a girl once remember that show scarred on MTV. I do where it was like you know like I was skateboarding and I ripped open my fucking fat nuts Yeah, yeah, I would always joke with this girl that like I'm gonna be on the show scars I'm like no step is no no no I worry about you and I loved every second of it
Starting point is 00:15:18 Stop like worry about you. I'm really gonna jump off my bed right now. I could just I didn't skateboard. I didn't roll her blade So like what the fuck what was gonna happen to me? You know, walking down the street, jumping to a fence and get a couple of thorns scratches on my back? Dude, that's fucking hilarious. Anything, anything, dude.
Starting point is 00:15:36 2004, five, six, five, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, six, five, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, five, six, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, five, six, six, five, six I'm so sliced. That's stupid thing. But like, everyone kind of like in like the teenage years kind of like, oh, fluff it up a little bit. 100%. So like, what's wrong with that, you know? My legs are mostly scars. It's so fucking funny. It's like, you, he's like, you, which like, again, they were not,
Starting point is 00:16:03 they were mostly just legs. They were perfectly fine. They, they were mostly just legs. They were perfectly fine legs. They were perfectly fine legs. I will say this though. Yeah. As someone that has had to get their legs shaved for like surgery and like other stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Bro, you would be shocked in how many scars you have on your legs probably. Maybe because like, No, mostly scar tissue, yeah. Like, it's legit. Like, you don't realize little cuts you get from mosquito bites you scratch too hard or something like that. You know what?
Starting point is 00:16:31 Because I get very, let me rephrase this. Why is it that women have random bruises they don't know about all the time? It's like, you wake up and all of a sudden there's a giant Bruce on your thigh. Yeah, I don't know, man. And it's like I didn't even go out. I'm broke.
Starting point is 00:16:52 That's Becca Bruce's. This is happened. Becca Bruce is like a peach. Like, I've tested it. Yeah. No, I'm kidding. No, but it's crazy. Like, how do you just like get a bruise?
Starting point is 00:17:00 You're like, yeah, I don't know. It's like, it looks like you know. It's like a cartwheel for you. I think some of it has to do with iron deficiencies and stuff like that. What do you mean we're all iron deficient? I guess, Joey. It's a fucking iron in you. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:12 I'll just start swallowing dumbbells. I don't know. I really don't know. I think like, it is crazy. I've never woken up with just a random Bruce. No, Bruce. I've ever gotten, I've been like, yeah, that's because of this. This is the from that.
Starting point is 00:17:24 But like, they just, on their legs mostly, it's like, what it, how do you not know this? I don't know, and I have a complex where like when Becca has a bruise on her leg, I have to press it. Me too. I have to push it. I say, button of pain, and I touch it, see what happened. Button of pain. Button of pain, yeah. Cool, that's, that's violence. Yeah, well, technically, well technically I think I mean I guess it is it is inflicting pain I mean but in a fun way you're having fun. I I certainly am having fun It does sound like fun to me right? Yeah, like if you you're gonna tell me if I walked in right and I was like Yo, dude, I have a giant just like ugly like yellow bruise. Hey, well, I hate when they get you
Starting point is 00:18:01 Like bruises when they get green and yellow. You're like discussing it. I want a nice good old black and blue. I do like the green and yellow fruit rollups though. That's a different story. Oh my god, those are the best. The red and yellows though. Those are good too. Those are the best ones. But the green and blue bruises.
Starting point is 00:18:15 It's like is it infected? Is it your green? You're gonna tell me you wouldn't touch it? I would touch your bruises. You're gonna touch it just to test it, right? Yeah. Cause you have to. I also have this thing for some reason
Starting point is 00:18:25 when someone tells me they have an injury. It just goes here and then it goes right over there and then I grab the thing. Yeah, like eventually, like a half an hour later. You've done that to me in the past, where I'm an idiot. Well, it's okay, so am I. We all have, you know, our problems.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Right, yes, we do. But I remember, oh no, it wasn't you this time. I'm sure you did it, but the one time I remember, oh no, I wasn't you this time. I'm sure you did it, but the one time I remember in particular was, remember when I had that infection and I had to get like surgically like open and repaired and so like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was real fun.
Starting point is 00:18:52 You wanna hear? You eating? And, Davino walked behind me and smacked me as hard as he could on the ass. And I like, keeled over and like, I had to like stop and like catch my breath It's also the worst person to do that because he probably thought he killed you. Oh, yeah, he cried about it
Starting point is 00:19:10 Probably he probably felt horrible. He felt really bad about it But I'm like you who did it and then you were like oh that hurt I was like yes, you're like good. That's what you get not good. That's what you get But like that was the point of me touching it. Oh, I wanted to inflict a plane similar to you poking your wife though of me touching it oh I wanted to inflict pain similar to you poking your wife though um But that's more fun and playful like oh this hurts. Ha ha. What is it about buttons? You know dude like you love Pressing buttons like I love pressing buttons. Oh, do you mean like like physically or just like pushing someone's But bro any fucking button bro you put a button in front of me on press on the shit. Yeah, I push I push buttons I like to push buttons a little bit event like no
Starting point is 00:19:46 No, I don't mean that metaphorically. That's why I just ask you. Yes. I mean physically press buttons Oh, if I walk into a room and there's a hundred buttons, I'm pressing at least 57. I just like touching things I like pressing shit like and if it's a button that like clicks back when you hit it all if it slaps back at me Dude, I'm in a fucking fight with it. I'm gonna jerk off to this button. Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna do all that. I'm just gonna press it. But I love buttons, especially the ones that say, like, don't press me. I'm like, you double dare me?
Starting point is 00:20:11 You're a little bit of a fucking bitch. I'm kinda trying to get you there. Yeah. Oh, like, fire alarms. What is it about a fire alarm? Dude, I have never pulled a fire alarm. I pulled a fire alarm. Really?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Outside. When? Oh, like, one of the standing ones on the corner? Yeah. Those are not real, those are not. Well pulled a fire alarm. Really? Outside. When? Oh, like one of the standing ones on the corner? Yeah. Those are not real, those are not. Well, the fire department shows up. Oh, did that. I wasn't around for when they did.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Oh, gotcha. But I was like, the rush. Really? Yeah, it was crazy. I always want to pull the ones that say, it's like the red box with the black thing and you have to pull and pull, push and pull down. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I want to pull it so bad, but I don't wanna fell in each charge. Bro, you know what I wanna do? Breaking case with emergency, just fucking shatter. Shatter, shatter. I wanna shatter something so bad. I would like to spray a fire extinguisher. I think I have, but I can't really remember.
Starting point is 00:21:00 I did in middle school, but it wasn't, it was water. It wasn't foam. That sucks. Yeah, I was stupid. I want the stuff that can like kill you if you get in your lungs. but it wasn't it was water. It wasn't foam. Yeah, I was stupid I want the stuff that can like kill you if you get in your lungs. I don't think it kills you I don't think it's good for you. I don't think it's gonna. Yeah, I don't I mean You know, I want to be I like I want to make sure everyone is safe But I want to be near a gas station when a gas station goes on fire So like those like spray foam things can come down. I'd like to blow up something phone things can come down. I'd like to blow up something.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Ha! Um. No, but you know, like, wouldn't it be cool? You're saying this on the internet. Frankie, Frankie, hold on. Not knowing around, but we'll blow up a building though. But like, you know, and that's a bad one to talk about, Joey. How do I phrase this in a way that isn't criminal?
Starting point is 00:21:42 I'd like to help a farmer blow up one of their silos that they don't want anymore, you know? What's that called? Destruction. Demolition? Demolition. So TNT and you go, huh!
Starting point is 00:21:54 Oh, you want to do the Wiley Coyote fucking dude, so bad? Yes. Because like, there's something innate about being a boy that you just want to destroy. I want to blow stuff up and play with fire. I want it to so bad for some reason so so so bad I mean we've talked about it before I want to light a trail of gasoline 100% what is cigarette with us? I mean cigarette Matt I mean matches I guess won't work with like a zip-o lighter Yeah, yeah, yeah crank it open and fucking drop it
Starting point is 00:22:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so cool. Let's just blow stuff up. I would like to blow something up. I'm glad you put something up. Blow something. Yeah, I wasn't going to say that. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I didn't know. I don't know what you do. I do have ads for today, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah, we're doing some ads. So let's talk about assisted demolition and then ads. OK, cool. We do have aura frames.
Starting point is 00:22:48 aura frames, it was named the best digital photo frame by Wirecutter and Fast Company said the simple stylish digital picture frame can replace social media in your life. So basically, this is a digital picture frame that you're gonna get. It is awesome. You can upload photos and videos to it
Starting point is 00:23:03 and you can share the account with other people. So the next time you need to call your mom and your on vacation, you're like, oh, you got to see these photos. You can just upload them and then she can get them right on her nightstand with the photo frame and it's got all the pictures on it. So it's beautiful. It's a lovely picture frame. It's a lovely idea, especially for the Halloween season. You know, you can, you know, for Frank, for instance, he's got kids, and they grow every two days, they look different. So you wanna upload pictures of your kids constantly, so your mother or your father, whoever,
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Starting point is 00:23:56 and conditions apply. Also, we have stitch fix stitch fix is like having your own personal stylist. Okay, you're going to go on their site, you're gonna fill out a style quiz, you're gonna give them your sizes and whatnot and what fits you like, and they will start picking, you know, clothing items from a thousand brands and styles that you know and love. They'll show how to wear the outfits head to toe, and you can just get dressed up and you go, and that's it. So it's like, you know, like I said, having a personal stylist, it's amazing. Also I like to have like a little box show up every month and you keep your wardrobe updated.
Starting point is 00:24:32 It's lovely. Right now, StitchFix is offering our listeners $20 off of their first fix at StitchFix.com slash basement. That is StitchFix.com slash basement for $20 off today. And listen, I don't know why you would, and this is also a great gift for Christmas too. If you know somebody and it's like, listen, you can use upgrade and you need a little, some new clothes, you have a new button,
Starting point is 00:24:52 new clothes in 10 years, what's going on. Get them a stitch fix. Again, that's stitchfix.com slash basement. And lastly here, we do have Zock-Dock. Zock-Dock is a great way to get connected to, you know, a doctor's in your area. It's the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed. Take your insurance and are available when you need them and treat almost every condition
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Starting point is 00:25:41 Today, many are available within 24 hours. That is zocdodoc.com slash basement. But yeah, go check them out. Like I said, they're patient reviews. When you see the doctors and they have a 4.9 or 5.0, this is from the patients. This is not other doctors doing this or whatever it's patients being like,
Starting point is 00:25:57 I had a good experience, so I trust that more than anything. So again, sockdoc.com slash basement, go check it out folks. And listen, the holiday season is among us. It is here, it is getting ready to show its beautiful face to everybody. So what is one thing that you could do for someone, the basement yard fan in your life, outside of going to shop to us and I got a studio's got common, getting these incredible seasonal designs,
Starting point is 00:26:22 where you can go to patreon.com and give the gift of the Basement Yard, baby. That's right, Basement Yard Patreon, we tell you guys about it every single week because we love for you guys to have more of us. What does Joey always tell me? He wants me to see more of him, more of him inside and out. It honestly made me question what he was trying to say
Starting point is 00:26:38 but I kind of picked up on it and I shaded my eyes and he got naked. So go to patreon.com slash the Basement Yard. You sign up for that first tier. You get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance That's right one whole week in advance and then next time that next tier. Excuse me. You get exclusive episodes every single Friday They're all over the place. Yeah, they're fucking their wild. You definitely don't want to miss them and exclusive content So go check it out patreon.com slash the base of your internet. Thank you to all of our patrons.
Starting point is 00:27:06 We're going to keep on bop, bop, bop into the top. Slip and slide and ride that rhythm over into the new year and continue to give you guys some quality content. Bye bye, Joey. Back to you. Back to you. You just said bye bye back there. Bye bye back to you.
Starting point is 00:27:18 All right, bye bye. Do you ever get like impressed by how much I can talk? Yeah, you're like a fucking auctioneer sometimes. But I don't want to talk about that I'd rather talk We have to talk about the nipple bras dude dude yay or nay So would joeys rep oh yeah, you're name. Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah, you fucking also it also a little nay dude a little Ney why because now all right here it is fuck dude For those of you guys that don't know Kim Kardashian is coming out with a or like helping make a line of bras
Starting point is 00:27:50 That have a permanent built in nipple So your nips are constantly hard looking which like okay? Yes sweet, but also then the nipple lover and you needs to worry and wonder like is this real nipple You know what I mean? Like, what are we looking at? How care? No, you have to care about something like that. Now, you're gonna tell me, you're gonna tell me,
Starting point is 00:28:10 you didn't look at Disney World different when you went and you realized that that was just a fucking a methodic underneath the Winnie the Pooh costume? Of course you did. Frank, what is that gonna do with nipples? Well, maybe, maybe, you know, you don't know what the nipple is behind the bra. Maybe it's the methodatic, the nipples.
Starting point is 00:28:25 The nipple bra's that Kim Kardashian is making. All right, a great idea. All right, because now people are just walking around their nipped up, and I don't hate that. Yeah. Big nipple guy. Guys, big, always been big in a nipples. Big in a nipples.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Since the day he was born. Since the day it was, yeah. Yeah. Big nipple, big nipples. Big n big in a nipples. Big in a nipples. Since the day he was born. Since the day it was born. Yeah. Yeah. Big nipples, small nipples. All nipples. Oh nipples. There's no, like, if you hate your nipples, I love them. There's no nipples shaming going on at the base.
Starting point is 00:28:57 At all. We're big on the nipple. And these bras are very cool. I like them. But, the one thing I do worry about It I would be like is it too much because there's still there's dudes out there in the world You know what I mean and this can barely contain themselves You see a pretty girl walk by and she's wearing two coats of the jacket and I fucking you know a headband and they're like
Starting point is 00:29:22 Oh my god, this girl's so hot now imagine she's walking my with her nipples What are you expecting there what what I don't know what your reference? I'm being like like the dudes will probably like it's gonna be a they might they might have some more cat calling harassment stuff Oh, yeah, because better pieces of shit assholes. Well, I'm just saying yeah the ones that are doing the harassing give them more to harass for Well now you're just like you're basically dangling a carrot in front of harass for. Well, now you're just like, you're basically dangling a carrot in front of a rat. Well, I don't think you can fucking... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Sweeta! Now I see a nipple, let's see the whole- Somebody fucking excite! It's like chill out.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Nipples are like hard for horny? Is that like still- I know, when nipples and girls are horny they're hard, right? I don't know. I mean, dude, they get hard. I mean nipples but like, dude, they get- Come on. Okay, you ever go like this to a nipple?
Starting point is 00:30:21 Yeah, but like, I mean- I do, it's like, what? Well, you do that, but you do that anytime it happens. If I fucking play with your nipple right now, it'll get hard, it'll get hard, but not because you're horny. At the, no, but maybe my nipples are horny though. Then fix your fucking nipples
Starting point is 00:30:35 because your brain should tell them, hey, this is my boy, not my babe. No, all nipples are bisexual, dude. Anybody touch a pansexual, maybe. Really? It's like anything. I don't know that. So the gayest thing about you are your nipples.
Starting point is 00:30:44 100%. Whoa! Look at that, see, we're fucking allies gays thing about you are your nipples 100% whoa Look at that see we're fucking allies. We always have been my nipples are definitely. I mean yeah your nipples are allies For sure, I mean if you came over here and you went like this my shit would be like oh no I don't think I would my brain my brain is too strong. You don't think I could come over there and make your nipple hard I guarantee you can are you serious? I guarantee you make your own nipples hard No, what why would I do that? Why do you think I'm sitting there? And I'm just like come on let's come on you work today, bitch. I've done that for like pictures What yeah, like you're gonna take a picture
Starting point is 00:31:17 You're like I rather my nipple be like a little like a shirtless picture at the beach. No Why do you care about your nipples being out? Because sometimes the light hits it, and it looks a little weird. It looks like full. It looks like you have a giant fucking finger nipples. It looks like I have a folded nipple or something. So I'm like, all right, let me get this bitch hard real quick.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Oh, I've never folded. I never served that. Hold on, I have never, I have never. Come on. I've been like, okay, my picture, am I looking good? Come on, baby, come on. I've done it. I've done it.
Starting point is 00:31:48 I've done it. That's stupid. I mean, it's just a strat. You would be a little too intonifles here, Joey. I'm not too into anything. I bet you people have done that. I wonder if girls do it. Maybe if there's a girl out there that's taking like a fucking, like a noody picked,
Starting point is 00:32:04 send over to somebody. I think you're 31's taking like a fucking like a noody picked send over to somebody I think you're 30s one dude. You can't say noody a Naked pick what am I say self? What is it called? Anything but that a naked pick. Yeah a naked pick This a naked movie maybe maybe if like yeah, if like a girl out there is sending a naked pick, like, like, maybe she would be like, all right, I kind of want to, you know, just buy some, you know, like, you know, like, spit shine,
Starting point is 00:32:32 like, spit shine the hood for a sec. Exactly. But, you're not sending, are you sending, no, like, fucking titty picks out to people, dude. No, are you sending out to people into your tits? No, no, no, that's not why I'm doing it. It's a while I'm wearing a shirt. You're still stupid.
Starting point is 00:32:48 No, but like, it's not that they get hard. That's not what you said before. That's not what you said. It's not that you can see my nipple. But you said no, you said that the light could hit it in a better way. Like it's no, no, no. I'm saying like when they're soft and I'm just chilling,
Starting point is 00:33:02 sometimes because I got fat in this thing. There's fat. Yeah, my body. So sometimes it just looks a little off. So I'm like, let me get this thing hard. So it kind of flattens out. So it's like, now you don't see that.
Starting point is 00:33:15 It just looks like my body. Oh, you know? That dude, that really like this isn't sane. I don't think you're grasping. It's like kind of Photoshop. It wasn't shit face-to-one but for your nipples, you're just like, oh, you're good. Dude, it's insane. That's insane. It was a shit face tune, but for your nipples you're just like oh It's insane. That's a little friction goes on. I've never I've never cared like like to make my nipples hard for a picture Joey Do you fluff yourself up? Fluck what do you mean fluff it up my god? Yeah, no? No, so you are well, I'm not what am I just get it a little chunky?
Starting point is 00:33:44 I tell you what if I fall in the UFC, I'd probably be back there slapping it around. Dude, that's one of the reasons I'm so like, I, that's one of the reasons I wouldn't be able to be like a UFC fighter, is I wouldn't be able to be out there. They were cups. Regardless. Yeah, but I'm saying it.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Well, like WWE or something like that, I would need to fluff up my dick. I would need to, I need to like fucking, you know, like play with myself a little bit before I went out there. I'm not going out there with no blood in this thing. I'm having a match against fucking Goldberg and he's gonna, you know, wrap his dick around my neck. I'd wanna look like I can do some damage.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Yeah, I don't look like I don't have a pussy. Yeah, exactly, you know? Like, but that's, yeah, that's just, that's probably the main reason, like I never did like mixed martial arts because I was like, because you were worried about your dick. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, Like I never did like mixed martial arts because I was like because you were worried about your dick What my how my dick is gonna look? Well it makes martial arts like a lot of the time you could just wear like a gee
Starting point is 00:34:29 It's still sucks. Yeah, it's just a it's just a robe. I mean it's a robe. It's just a robe, dude Yeah, I don't want to fight in a robe. I do that enough every morning with my kids That's a parent joke for every parent out there I love how you you get used I can't believe you don't understand the hard nip thing Dude get over yourself. What do you mean how I don't understand it? Everyone prefers their nipples to be alright cut this fucking clip what make I want people to respond If they play with their fucking nipples before a picture in order to alter the way that Listen from someone that has worn shirts at our little small where my fucking titties are out dude I understand if you're not happy with like how you're fucking breast, you know look in a picture
Starting point is 00:35:14 Right but to the point that you're fucking Fucking come on come on man. I'm like an old man jerking off in a mirror like work today. See Alice. No, no I'm not doing this. I'm not like a fucking you're doing it with multiple fingers. I'm just going like this Joey just like my hand just as bad is that make it better? I never look my I would rather if you'd like the hand I'd be a little more like all right at least he's committing to the bit But like you're trying to defend your fucking weird I don't I don't think it's that weird it's a little weird, dude. So, we're gonna find out though. Getting back to the Kim Kardashian broth thing.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Ross, this is a question I have. Good. Now listen, it is cat fishing for nipples, I will say that. I am definitely cat fishing for nipples and I'm all about the free the nipple movement. All for it, go for it. Is this gonna like, for instance, there are only so many original Pokemon cards out there.
Starting point is 00:36:10 So like because you don't see him all the time, like whoa this Charizard is really valuable. Dude, when you start comparing stuff to Pokemon cards, I get really like- When I start comparing nipples to Pokemon cards, you're out, but when you're sitting there and finger fucking your chest you're okay? Yeah, no No, what was your point? Is this gonna be like less? Are we gonna our arts is society gonna value nipples less because you oh Decentralize because there's more than now sensitize to the nipples because we see the nipples all the time. Yes Probably I think that's how that works But what's next I think for for skims, which is the company
Starting point is 00:36:51 Cockbolt pants Cockbolt pants cockpulled Underwear and they can and they can use the technology and the Nike's the pump up Nike's Like I can pump you just put a thing put like I what if I want to adjust it What if I want a super big dick day? I don't think they make them super? I don't know why not I don't know I don't know if I would want a huge bulge walking around I would feel like I would be making people uncomfortable Yeah, imagine you're walking around as a guy just walking around like Jesus Christmas Well, it depends on where you're walking you know what I'm saying like you're walking down the street
Starting point is 00:37:26 You can't really you don't got the time to look and go bulge like I guess that's fair It's more like at the gym. There was one time. I was in Miami and I was in the water and I'm looking around I looked on my left. There's a guy in a speedo. I swear to God dude It looked like he was hiding a squid in there. God like stuff to squid There's a giant and I'm like, how? Shorts for you though. Yeah, just for you. Just do something more normal.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Yeah, like shorts for you. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing. He definitely knew what he was doing. I'm all about big, big dick confidence. You know, go for it, but also, you know, be aware of like who you're around. You know what I'm saying? I'm on vacation. I don't need this. I don't want to like look to my right like who you're around, you know what I'm saying like I'm a vacation
Starting point is 00:38:05 I don't need I don't want to like look to my right and then you're just just giant fucking you know Big cock is out Couldn't think of any other way to say Yeah, um also What Yeah, I'm also What No thing I wanted to like kind of talk about there's a thing going viral on TikTok called the bird test The bird test. Yeah, and it's like if you if we're dating yes, and I go yo There's a bird and if you go I don't give a shiss then like we're not gonna be together But if you go oh what where wait, we're gonna be together forever. That's the general idea hold on hold on
Starting point is 00:38:42 Yeah, so if if we're here if we're here dating yeah we're on a date where would we be Dave and Buster's wow you really think a little of me huh just so you know like arcade dates like that you know you're adults now maybe go to like something a little more sensible but says captain fucking underpants himself. Okay underpants. Yeah, dude. Oh, we're adults now dude. You collect boys You got the t-shirts. You got the fucking before you can't stop referencing Pokemon cards on this episode How dare you are you done are you done? I'm not done. I'm ready to keep going. Are you done? Are you done? I'm not done! I'm ready to keep going! Are you done? Even busters is not terrible. It's not terrible. I wouldn't eat there. But, Joey, you're gonna tell me seriously.
Starting point is 00:39:31 Yeah. It's like, it's like a mid-2000s thing. Like, we've gone past it. That's like going to fucking Chuck E. Cheese for adults. Like, it's a cool place. Don't get me wrong. And I would go in a heartbeat. But I'm talking about first dates. You're getting to know someone. No, like first dates. You're getting to know someone You're getting to know someone and you're like hey, let's go throw wooden balls at a hole in the wall
Starting point is 00:39:51 Yeah, who the fuck is gonna want to do that probably not did you have a guitar here over there? I'm gonna shred some guitar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's good, but Mm-hmm. I just I don't know man. It doesn't I Don't understand how seeing a bird... It's the idea of like, are you with someone who's like... I guess interested in your interests in a way? So you going, look a bird, I have to go... I want to learn everything you know right now about birds.
Starting point is 00:40:19 Yeah, but it's not funny. It's like, to me, it's like... The reverse, like, let's say it works out and you go oh where what the fuck? And it's like what am I like now now how I just base you like each a Bass is the test first of all there's so many other things if you're in New York City And I'll even go I'll even just condense it if you're in Manhattan on a date Yeah, and you and you go oh look a bird The person that you're with is not gonna look up because they're gonna say, fuck that flying rat with wings.
Starting point is 00:40:50 That's probably your response. Definitely my response. Yeah. I will say this though, as someone that is moved outside of the city. There's some cool birds out there. There's some sick birds out there. And anytime people from the city come over,
Starting point is 00:41:02 they're like, oh, is that a turtle? You know, know like they get pretty fucking jazz if I see a bird with some color in it I'm psyched yeah a blue bird a blue J a cardinal but like why is that hummingbirds when they're fucking hovering I'm like how do I saw I saw a hummingbird not like last summer while wild species of animal like fly so they're just like they Like they're like little fucking their bugs, but birds. Yeah, it doesn't make sense And they got really long sharp beaks. There's a there in the tree in my front yard. There's always a bunch of woodpeckers So like and they don't start like Excuse me. They don't start like super super early. They pack in unison. No, but you'll hear like
Starting point is 00:41:47 super early. Did they peck in unison? No, but you'll hear like that's a dope though. Kind of cool. I saw a video once of a woodpecker and he peck too hard and got stuck in the wood. Oh, can't go can't go too hard on the wood. Do you remember the jackass thing where the fucking Chris Pawneas put a wooden like thing around his dick and the woodpecker poke through it? I did not see that. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. I did not see that. Yeah, pretty nuts. I don't, why birds, dude? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:11 It's just the example that this girl was giving on TikTok, but apparently it's like, it could apply to other things. You want to kind of like, oh, look at this. Oh my god, look at that beautiful plant. Yeah, and you're like, plant, I'd be more like, I think if anyone points anywhere, I'm looking.
Starting point is 00:42:27 You know, if someone's just like, what the? What do you think about that, huh? I think that would happen. I'm Christmas out by the way. Look at this green pants. Those are gray. Say it again.
Starting point is 00:42:40 Those are gray. Stand up. Remember that vision insurance I was telling you about? Just stand up. Those are green? Joey, that vision insurance. I was telling you about just stand up Those are green Joey these are green dude those are gray Kidding me the the strings look a little more green, but the grids clearly great Joey. Let me get close Joey Joey Joey Joey you have your you have your contacts in That's great Joey are you kidding me Joey Joey Frankie? You're nuts right now. You're seriously nuts look at your hat green. Yes, stand up a Little more blue little more blue. What's Joey? He's a green not a blue. He's a green dude. Are you fucking that's very green?
Starting point is 00:43:20 This is actually there's different types of green. Yeah, not that one. That's great No Joey Joey, are you serious like these are gray? Is the color on the tag Take your fucking pants. I got to take your pants look at this full gray Frick a wheel K here Damn, we're full of cock out just now What? Damn, we're pulling the cock out just now. What you could see when he's doing.
Starting point is 00:43:49 It's like he's checking his own diaper right now. He's like, you didn't take the pants off, he's just looking at... There isn't absolutely nothing. Good for you. Dude, you got some thighs on him. Don't make a thong. Yeah, he's making a thong. He's making a thong.
Starting point is 00:44:03 What is this on? No, he's doing. You think those are great? Those are mega great. I can't see it's got a reflective thing on it what color Green dude Green brother actually that looks let me see green brother. Let me hear from Green brother This is not the same take this off and put it next to your fucking gray pants They're green joy. This is crazy that you can't see that these are green. I can't get that fucking thing off. Okay here Now show it show it
Starting point is 00:44:37 stand up Different dude. They are very different shade of green, but these pants are green wild absolutely wild. Yeah, it is Catches really nice Guys weren't fucking green pants. I can't believe that you're that blind Nobody is blind Joey. All right. I mean there are people who are blind in the world There are definitely blind people. I can't that's wild to me. Yeah But you're those but those are great. Birds. Correct.
Starting point is 00:45:11 But yeah, I don't know. I don't know why this is such a, like, a fucking indication. It's just someone on TikTok trying to become trendy and like fucking whip y'all for the cappers out there. Hmm, we do have sponsors, so I'm going to skip right over that. I'll give you a second to figure that out. We have prize picks.
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Starting point is 00:48:59 the fact of this story that you told me, but several giant tanks of bullsemen were stolen in Ireland. Yeah, I don't like how you said you told me this as if I gave you the low down one night and I was like, hey, our tanks went missing. No, I mean, you were the one who brought it up to me that before the episode, you're like, hey, by the way, we should talk about the fact that there's missing semen.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Correct. So there was a town in Ireland who woke up one morning and saw that as they put it large quantity of cattle semen was taken from their town of I don't know how to say it's a CLO G-H-R, clogger, clogger, clogger, so that they have you know what I want to know? What is it actually for? Well, I assume they're for like artificial insemination and I think like giant tanks of it though Dude you got you got fucking you got some sick bulls running around You want to get as much as you can and just like so you know, it's your valuable bulls
Starting point is 00:49:57 I don't really believe that I don't believe that you need a tank of semen in order for art Well if you want to use it multiple time if you want to use it once, you can't just have a whole tank though, like get a cup full, but like you want it multiple times. So semen has an expiration date. Does it? Of course it does. No, I think you have like semen banks where they like freeze it and it's good like forever, dude.
Starting point is 00:50:16 But they didn't steal it. Do they see a frozen tank? I assume it's frozen. You think a tank is just like a fucking propane tank? Like it's sitting underneath your grill? Yeah, that's an up big show. It's in the freezer. It's in the You think a tank is just like a fucking propane tank? Like it's sitting underneath your grill? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's in the freezer. It's in the fridge or something.
Starting point is 00:50:28 So someone walked into a facility where frozen jizz is. Yes. And then rolled out a tank of bullsemen? Yeah. Two of them. Large quantity as they put it. What is going on? I, this, you know, do you got to thought out? I would never like check whatever you buy
Starting point is 00:50:48 If any of it comes from this town in Ireland just maybe don't yeah, cuz it could be covered in the scene Don't like go out to eat bro. Can you imagine if someone told you seriously? Yeah, if someone told you tomorrow Right that hey that meal we went out to dinner Monday and they're like like, oh, by the way, that meal was cooked in bullcom. How would you react? It was pretty good. Yeah, I don't know. I'd be like, I'd probably just be like, huh, delicacy. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:51:20 I would have to trust what country am I in? Here, United States. Oh, then yeah, I don't know. You can't trust bull come here. Well, I'd be like, what's, is it a method? Bull come here will be added with like, it's like, oh, like now made with real come. And it's like, what was it?
Starting point is 00:51:34 Yeah, you know? Of course, fake juice. I mean, I feel like I would give the restaurant better for the doubt of like, oh, it must be some sort of cooking method. And they, no, like they like sous vide the steak in bulkum. And then they pull it out. They just like kind of brown it on each side.
Starting point is 00:51:51 I don't exactly know what that means. So you see when you put it in like a bag, and then you put it in the hot by the way. Because I see people put it in a bag, and then they put this like pipe in water, and then it cooks. Yeah, what's the pipe? I think the pipe is to like control the temperature
Starting point is 00:52:05 or the water so like it could say like it's being cooked and like you know like 80 degree water, Celsius I guess. And like it will kind of cook it slowly on the inside and then it holds all the juices in because it's all tight in a bag. The juices can't go anywhere because it's tight in a bag, it's in a straight jacket and they take it out and they just fucking, you know, sear
Starting point is 00:52:26 on each side and then there you go. I like that. He's got a nice, right? I like a steak with some squirt in it. Don't you know? Dude, that's the worst way I've ever heard anyone refer to steak. With some squirt in it? Yeah, like when you cut up into a steak and you're like, oh, and it's just wet.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah, and you're like, my plate is a mess. Just, yeah, just slap them. It's fucking dope. Slop them up. Slop them up. No, but like, you know, like you cut into a steak and it's kind of like, oh, this thing just pissed on me. No, I wouldn't go by piss.
Starting point is 00:52:58 I wouldn't, it's not piss, it's juiced. Dude, the worst, I don't know if I've ever told you this. My dad years ago took my brothers and I to a Columbian burger joint why was the air quotes because it was dog shit got it, you know and We I swear to God I bit into a burger and there was water in my mouth Yeah, I do it. No, but not good not good Not like that. No, no, no like it like felt like it wasn't ever cooked Like they were just like oh the club means are just like fucking whatever just take it
Starting point is 00:53:30 I mean I like biting into stuff and feeling like I'm also having a beverage like a watermelon. Oh Yeah, you know, you're like you eat a watermelon and you're like I'm my mouth is full of like yeah I love watermelon. Yeah so much anything juicy like that like a peach sometimes You're like I'm drinking a little peach tea dude a fucking horny ass like pear or peach where you just You know plum is like a fucking old whore You know like she's just like uh like ready you ever had just like a really crunchy grape that you bite into and then it's just like You just got like fucking jizz in your mouth? Like, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:54:08 Yeah, you know what? Now you've lost me to be honest. Oh, I lost the guy that plays with his nipples for pictures. Don't bring that up like I'm weird. You are. I'm not. You're definitely weird, don't you? I am in the majority.
Starting point is 00:54:20 I think we can send a task force to find the bull come because this is serious. You know, like what if this is made giant tanks of calm? Come on. You don't care about it. Come on. How much to get you to drink a cup of cup? No way. No, no.
Starting point is 00:54:39 A billion dollars. Throw it down so quick. Throw it down. How big is the cup? The shock glass. Don't what? Yeah, dude. Before that, before a billion.
Starting point is 00:54:50 All right, 500 million. So fast. Yeah, okay. Yeah. 250, I'll cut in half each time. Yeah, yeah, I'm see, up 125. 125 million? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Yep. Really? Really? Yeah, yep really really Yeah, dude Really yeah, you know what I do. I just get hammered and do it. Oh Good moment whatever all right I'm not like cow gay dude you know what I mean like Like because I drink this fucking cow I'm gay pretty pretty pretty pretty. What are we drink?
Starting point is 00:55:25 We drink fucking milk from cow's tits. Yeah. If they were to start coming out with like, like, horse come or like, why horses? We've got to cat bulls, the cows, the horses. Yeah, yeah, bullsemen. The corn seeded milk. Milk.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Nah, I'm gonna stick to almond. Oh, until someone tells you how good it is for you What until someone just like oh this is the new intermittent fast you drink three cups of fucking bull come I don't know if I get stuck like that like knowing that it's like Yeah, it consists just like thick. Oh my god. I'm not kidding. No. I'm gonna make myself throw up if I say that ill Oh, I'm dumb. I'm gonna say it, I'm gonna say it. What are you gonna say? Just watch.
Starting point is 00:56:10 If you drink just like a frothy, I've got a really good, I'm really gonna gag. It's like I hand you a cup of like, like warm frothy, come. That is disgusting, honestly. Also, I don't even know what a cow, Like warm frothy come That is disgusting honestly also I don't even know what a cow what animal are we on by the bowl? It's a cow. It's a boy cow boy cow. Wait is that true? Yes, where have you been? I did know that but like I did it Cow's milk is all lady milk right. That's why it's not gay to drink whole milk, right? Yeah, you know is all lady milk. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:42 That's why it's not gay to drink whole milk. Right, yeah. You know. It's not. That's why big fucking milk, they got to it quick. It was like, by the way, this comes from fucking big fat tits. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:53 So what are they? They are big fat tits though. Dude, you're gonna, udders are, I haven't seen an udder in so long. I'm not even gonna lie. If someone offered me the chance to suck it straight from the udder, I would do it 100% You're not supposed to you know have milk that isn't pasteurized
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah, because you can be you know bad for you and stuff, but kind of don't care Wrap these lips around an utter kind of don't care. I mean it does look a lot like a weener So like I know you'd be easier better at that than I would I I just don't know if I can stomach that yeah I also don't like really, I feel like the others feel like pigs. You know, pigs feel like... Pigs. Pigs, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:31 You know, and they're like weird. They're a little like fleshy. They're like, they're, it feels like I'm, I don't even know, like a dead person. Like, no, I would say like, if you, like, but warm. If you like hold your nuts really tight, and then go like this. And then you go like this to your nuts. Yeah, that's what a pig feels like you're right. Yeah, I know wow I've thought about it quite a bit. So you you squeezed your nuts. Oh hundred percent dude
Starting point is 00:57:55 These things are like fucking why give men play dough in their pants if they're not gonna play with it You know what I'm saying? Play dough in their pants dude. I've I Fuck yeah, yeah You know what I'm saying? Play though in their pants. Dude, I, I, fuck yeah. Yeah. Bull come. I almost pissed on the ground the other day. In my bathroom, I mean. Why?
Starting point is 00:58:15 Because I drunk? No, I like, I like worked out. And my dick was like, on, was stuck to my balls. And it just stayed down? Yeah, because I guess like, it was pointed in a weird, because like the, the part of my dick was stuck to my balls. And it just stayed down? Yeah, because I guess like, it was pointed in a weird, because like the part of my dick was stuck to my balls. Okay. And then it was like point and I wanted to just go pee.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Gotcha. I think I was like, I thought you were referencing Monday. You were like, you said to me, you're like, I'm kind of drunk. And I was like, really? I thought you were gonna say like, you went home that night and you're like,
Starting point is 00:58:40 peed on your floor. Oh, no, no, no. Joey finally done that one time. Joey crushed a champagne fluid with a raspberry in it. I didn't love it. It looked a little not great. That I'll tell you that. That's not a raspberry.
Starting point is 00:58:51 That fucking martini I had. Boy, was it good? D'Aurrels. I was so good. Can't do it. But I have pissed a little in my bathroom before. Yeah. I've accidentally done it.
Starting point is 00:59:02 I fell. I wasn't trying to do it purposefully. Yeah, I was accidentally done it. I fell. I wasn't trying to like do it purposefully. Yeah. I was falling and peeing and drum. My new thing is like I've been trying, it's like a fun game. I play fun games with myself in the bathroom sometimes. We're like where I go to pee. And I don't, I try to pee without touching anything.
Starting point is 00:59:17 So I like, hold on. Bend over. No. Uh oh. Wait, what do you mean? You like, like your skydiving? Yeah. I'm trying to bend like your skydiving? Yeah. You're trying to vent over and try to piss?
Starting point is 00:59:26 Yeah. I like pop my butt out and just make sure everything lines up. Try it. Do your hands go up like this? Yeah. Like freeze. Oh no. Are you successful a lot of the time?
Starting point is 00:59:37 All the time. I've never fucked up. Go try it. Try it. I've never pissed accidentally and hit the same. Oh, of course I have. But like, not doing that move. I've done it like when I'm fucking holding my fucking peep.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Really? I've never done that. Oh, dude, you kidding me? Well, I also do different, like I'll flush the toilet. I'll do that too. You know, like I'll fucking, like, I'll like sneeze or something. Stuff happens when I'm pee. Sneezing while pissing is dangerous, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:04 Yeah. That's like firing off, that's like having your finger on the trigger. Yeah. You know? I wonder, like, as a woman, sneezing while pissing must be funny, because it's like, you had a kink in the hose and I was like, shh. Shhh. We're 31. We are end professionals.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Yeah. Well, barely. Yeah. What we were just talking about, oh, how we were pissing all over the floor. Yeah, yeah, well no No, don't say we were pissing all over the floor you said you pissed on the floor you were pissing all over the floor I didn't piss in the floor what time I pissed on top of the toilet see I did that there was such a thing in like college It was just like oh, I'm gonna prank them and do an upper decker. You remember that you remember it with like you You like take a shit in the fucking like the tank of the toilet
Starting point is 01:00:45 I've never done it. I've never be very clear. I've never done that But you've never heard of that I was like oh dude. I'm gonna take a fucking upper decker. That's they call it They would shit in the tank and the tank yeah and then like as you're like fucking flushing you just Can't see it with shit water. Yeah There's no way to clean that I would have to get a new toilet You said one day that's me. I would literally be like I'm replacing well. We know we know we know we know you you get a new apartment You'd be like I'm done. I'm fucking burn this
Starting point is 01:01:14 I throw you out like it's not happening. Yeah, no that would be very bad upper decker I've never heard that you've never heard of it. No, there's some pranks.'m shocked you, you've obviously heard of like the flaming bag of poop from Billy Madison. Well, but people have actually done that. Yeah, I've never seen that in action. I don't think I've been able to. I'm not really tapped into all the shit pranks. Yeah, I'm not, I guess I'm not either. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:37 But like, that's a good prank. Flaming shit? Yeah. Oh, it's like, oh, put the fire out. And then you just step it on shit. I Got to be honest if I opened up my door and there was a little bag on fire. I'd be like what a burn Yeah, I'd be like why do I but then you have hot flaming shit on your Like toasted poop
Starting point is 01:01:59 Toop Absolutely disgusting. Yeah, that's good. I can't do it. Anyway. HIT! It doesn't make clear my throat. Frank, where can they find you in your gray pants? Dude, wild, legit, insane.
Starting point is 01:02:15 We're gonna take a picture. And you post it. Are they gray or green? Because they're green. Oh, it's like that thing. Yeah, blue or blue. Did you hear the person that posted that picture, or the dress, is now in prison for murder?
Starting point is 01:02:30 Really? What a place we fucking, what a world we live in. Go check out me. If however is 80, 85, 20, 20, free, gov'ers on all other forms of social media and go check out the basepin yard everywhere, right? Yeah, on TikTok and Instagram and you can find me at Joe Sanagado and that is all.
Starting point is 01:02:45 And go get them merch shop.sanagostudios.com. And there's something. There's something brewing. There's something brewing. There's something brewing. Well, Joey also did say before you were recording he had a poop and he was like, oh no, never mind.
Starting point is 01:02:56 So that's brewing and then there's something else brewing. Yeah. I don't know how that works, but. Me neither, to be honest, it's a little, there's a couple things brewing. Yeah. So check it out. Check it out, and that is all.
Starting point is 01:03:06 See you guys next time.

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